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How To Be Friends With Guys (And Nothing More)

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  • Опубліковано 18 сер 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 529

  • @marystahlschmidt3661
    @marystahlschmidt3661 6 років тому +387

    So yeah, God is definitely calling me out on this one. I have a REALLY outgoing (and hopefully fun) personality, like to the T to what you all were explaining and my closest friends are nearly all guys. My best friend actually is a dude. But a lot of my friends have come up to me and admitted to me that they have grown feelings for me and what not. Im also very touchy, huggy, genuine, open and deep but i really need to pull back bc im starting to notice that often times i can see my dudes' girlfriends getting uncomfortable around me. I treat both sexes with the same excitement and so those who really know me know my intentions are pure but even so i can tell that i need to cut back. This was exactly what i needed to hear to push me over the edge to actually walk towards that. This video was made for ME. Every. Word. The most convicting thing that i heard out of this vid was your sis wanting to "walk blamelessly" and it all of sudden hit me what that was supposed to look like and that now i am w/o excuse. Im so so thankful for you guys and finding this channel ❤💕 bless all four of you

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому +16

      Mary Stahlschmidt wow thank you so much for sharing that, Mary! Amen to everything you said! You got this👊

    • @marystahlschmidt3661
      @marystahlschmidt3661 6 років тому +14

      Paul and Morgan thank you!! ❤ its been a long time coming but as it says in Luke 9:62:
      But Jesus said to him, “No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.”
      Its time to move forward and walk in the Spirit!! I appreciate the support, i love this unity and brotherhood!! 💕

    • @paulineamayun
      @paulineamayun 6 років тому +8

      I can totally relate to you! Especially with my guys’ girlfriends, they’d be uncomfortable around me when it’s just my personality. Outgoing, always laughing, all that. I admit, there were times when I liked the attention and would feed off of it but one day i realized i can’t let that fill me up and it is not good! Even my little sister would joke around and say it’s like the “bachelorette” for me Lol. So I’ve been praying a lot for girl friends to be close with and lift each other up 🙏🏽

    • @marystahlschmidt3661
      @marystahlschmidt3661 6 років тому +2

      pawlean girl same here!! I just realized a few days ago that i actually really enjoy the attention and my youger sister does the same thing!! I have found and seen how selfish i really am thru all of this. ❤ its sad but also really cool you can relate!

    • @paulineamayun
      @paulineamayun 6 років тому +1

      Mary Stahlschmidt prayin for ya sis!🙏🏽 i can relate!

  • @saraoliveira8836
    @saraoliveira8836 6 років тому +249

    Being an upbeat extrovert that had problems in the past with it I have some tips for my sisters
    1. Trying to change who you are is pointless. Trust me, I tried and it feels horrible. It's your personality, it's who you are. BUT trying to live a life that pleases the Lord means having to compromise a lot. So don't make the "it's my personality, I can't change it" an excuse to not even try to be a better person.
    2. Try not to be isolated a lot with your guy friend. It's not healthy, I would even say NEVER hang out in your room or develop the habit of long phone calls at night. I'm not saying you can never be alone with him, of course you can go somewhere, talk, spend time together, after all you're friends! But try not do this often. If you wanna spend time together invite other people to join, it will be fun!
    3. Don't text or talk after 11 p.m. For some reason it's easier in the night to get intimate very quickly. I'm not saying you can't reply a text or talk if your friend is needing you. I'm saying that, as a rule, I find it very helpful to not have long conversations after 11.
    4. When in friend groups make sure to give the same amount of attention and do your best to treat everyone equally, so no one will think they are having special treatment.
    5. Tone it down a little bit. It sucks, but sometimes is necessary. I had guy friends who I was really comfortable and close with but realized that they were developing feelings (we know when we're being treated just a little bit better than the other friends) and (because I didn't share the feeling) I had to tone it down with him, talk less, see less. I never cut him off of my life or made him feel like I wasn't a friend, I just took some space in a subtle way.
    6. If you're starting to feel anything more than friendship tell him. You are friends. The mature thing to do is say "look, I love you like a brother, but I realized my feelings are getting more intense about you and I think its better for me if we take some space so I can figure out these stuff and see you again only as a brother in Christ" if he loves you and loves God, he will respect your decision and give you space without resentments. And hey, if he likes you back you two can work things out.
    7. NO TOUCHING! One hug here and then in commemorative days like Christmas, birthday, etc but always SIDE HUGS. One thing I like to do is try to treat my guy friends as if they were married men. If you're someone that loves to hug and kiss your friends, try to restrict this to your girl friends and family.
    8. Having guy as friends is cool, I have some and I truly love them. But there's nothing better to a young woman than to be friends with other young or older women. There is a kind of connection that we only can do with other women. Try it! They can help you a lot with your insecurities, troubles and your walk in faith
    Sorry for the long comment, and again, these are some of the things I do and had helped me a lot. We need to be real with ourselves and the people that surround us about our intentions. As someone who (by accident!!) was lead on and leaded in (I don't know if this sentence is correct lol), I know that God want us to be honest with our brothers, and when we do (even if sometimes is painful) we are glorifying His name.
    Thanks for the video guys! As always it was a delight. Cheers from your brazilian sister

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому +7

      Great tips! Thank you for sharing :)

    • @irene-love2378
      @irene-love2378 6 років тому +2

      Sara Oliveira Awww I appreciate this Sara.😊

    • @bcministry4537
      @bcministry4537 6 років тому +3

      Fantastic advice! Blessed by this, and I know you have blessed others sister!

    • @saraoliveira8836
      @saraoliveira8836 6 років тому

      @Hannah 💕💕💕 I'm glad I could help you. God bless

    • @alexandralersteen9274
      @alexandralersteen9274 5 років тому +2

      #introvert can’t relate 😬

  • @divyasharontom4526
    @divyasharontom4526 6 років тому +36

    My parents' advice: NEVER spend more time with any one person of the opposite sex in particular. It is bound to send a wrong message.
    Also, I completely agree with Julia!

  • @PaulandMorgan
    @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому +66

    Hey P&M Fam! So what do ya think? Can girls be Best Friends with guys or is it a bad idea?

    • @communistx8691
      @communistx8691 6 років тому +1

      Paul and Morgan did you guys see my offer?

    • @rachelleyland5376
      @rachelleyland5376 6 років тому +8

      Paul and Morgan I think that it really depends on their hearts. If there are any feelings for each other on one side or the other, then the friendship should stay an acquaintance level. However if there are no feelings for each other whatsoever, they can be best friends. However I do believe if you’re a godly woman you should be looking to make your friendships with other godly women, not men.

    • @carolineurena8509
      @carolineurena8509 6 років тому +5

      I think it is possible to be good friends but I also think it's good to be wise with touches and what words you say, etc...!

    • @marisellarodriguez
      @marisellarodriguez 6 років тому +4

      It’s very risky biscuits. I was very super close friends with a guy and we ended up dating and once we were a couple months away from our wedding day, we felt the lord telling us to break up. It’s been about a year now since we broke up and we’re both still trying to heal from that breakup. We were such a great team and could spend hours just praying and reading and growing together. I still don’t understand why we had to breakup but I know God is in control over it all. I definitely agree with what Morgan had to say about being very wise and cautious when it comes to opposite sex friendships.

    • @ashleem63
      @ashleem63 6 років тому +1

      I definitely feel that it's possible, but like y'all said, boundaries are very important! My best best friend is a guy, has been since high school, but he also lives three states away, so there is no physical interaction. He's my brother from another mother lol. We did have to sit down and talk about the boundaries for our friendship, because I didn't want to know details about his dates and such, not from a threatened place, but because there's only so much input a female can provide on a male's dating life. I did refer him to this channel though!

  • @chinsanpigs
    @chinsanpigs 6 років тому +142

    “I aPAULigize for the break” lol i’ll leave

  • @oliviafalasca1738
    @oliviafalasca1738 5 років тому +5

    God has for sure taught me this lesson in the past. We definitely need to be careful of physical boundaries but also emotional I think that can play just as big a role. As a Christian woman I found myself getting really emotionally attached to a strong Christian guy older than me because we were both deep people and wanted to have those conversations. It ended up having to stop because I especially got to emotional attached to someone I wasn’t going to be in a relationship with and therefore those talks were becoming unhealthy. So I can really relate to and agree with what you’re saying . It really hurts when you get that’s attached and then have to break it off like that. So DONT LET IT GET THERE! 🙃

  • @speechfreak09
    @speechfreak09 6 років тому +5

    I DEFINITELY agree that boundaries are necessary. I have fallen into this trap too many times. We just get so comfortable with each other, and then before you know it we have a crazy deep emotional bond, and I end up being the one to get hurt because I let myself get too invested. The simple suggestion to save the deepest stuff for your friends of the same gender would have saved me a lot of heartache in high school and college. BUT with good boundaries, you can still have solid friendships with guys! They just won't be my number one anymore. Thanks for your insight!

  • @Jessica-xn2xq
    @Jessica-xn2xq 6 років тому +12

    Love this! I take a less conservative view on this due to my experience meeting my fiancé who was my best friend before we started dating. I openly talked about emotional boundaries throughout our friendship and we spoke often about "husband/wife privileges" which were parts of me or conversations that nobody but my future husband (or his future wife) deserved. Drawing that line in the sand was really helpful and provided a great point of reference when we needed to speak to each other about boundaries that we may have crossed. While our friendship sometimes walked on the line, I truly believe God used those human moments and turned them into points that our relationship would be built upon. Another question I would ask myself (since I have many male friends that I keep in touch with), "Would my relationship with this person need to change if I were to marry someone else tomorrow?". If my answer was 'yes', then I know there are some boundaries being crossed. If my answer were 'no', then I knew that friendship was nothing more than a brother and sister in Christ that would be honored by God and my future husband.

    • @dsophie7816
      @dsophie7816 3 роки тому +1

      That question at the end was really helpful

  • @AK-iu8ws
    @AK-iu8ws 6 років тому +48

    Guys can't take a hint is so true Julia! Have seen it plenty of times in my life. Taught/teaches me to be honest

  • @abbyviola993
    @abbyviola993 6 років тому +10

    I have a guy best friend and he is the best! Anytime we hang out it normally always with other people around. If we want to have a person conversation face to face we’re around people just not so they can hear us. It’s encouraging to me to have a guy best friend because I have five brothers but I’m not as close to them, so having a best friend who is a guy, he’s like another big brother lol. We’ve never really talk about boundaries but we definitely know what they are because we both attended the same Christian school and they talk about things like that. I could tell one time when I was being very honest to him about how much I appreciate our friendship and made it clear that we were just friends the way he responded I could tell he was relieved that I didn’t have feeling for him, because he is just waiting for God’s leading for the right one. Love you guys and your channel. I’ve been waiting for a video like this so I could go all out 😊💕💕

  • @sarahcordle3005
    @sarahcordle3005 6 років тому +2

    It's frustrating because it's one of things we are taught is that if someone shows us extra attention, they must have feelings for us. And I've learned the hard way being on both sides. I think honesty and groups are the best. You want that person to know what you're feeling now to save them from any later misunderstandings.

  • @kims2109
    @kims2109 6 років тому +99

    Can Julia please make a youtube channel?!?!

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому +19

      Agreed! She’s awesome!!

    • @jollyjulesy
      @jollyjulesy 6 років тому +19

      Aw that’s sweet of you to ask

    • @ariellec9676
      @ariellec9676 6 років тому +5

      Julia Olliges You have awesome advice you should consider it 😂

    • @aikosanstudios6183
      @aikosanstudios6183 6 років тому +3

      Julia Olliges I was looking for your UA-cam channel in the description and was sad when i didn't find one. Please make one!

  • @caraleelynch5306
    @caraleelynch5306 6 років тому +4

    As young women of God it is so important to learn how to encourage the young men around us to be men of Christ. I think learning how to be just friends with guys is an important part of that. Throughout my high school years I had more guy friends than girl friends. Like you mentioned in the video it gets harder to stay just friends as you get into college. What helped me in setting boundaries was reminding myself that they are going to be someone’s husband someday. How would I want another girl treating my future husband? I agree with you guys saying that it’s harder to stay just friends when more intimate topics are discussed. We are to guard our hearts. I really appreciate all of the videos you guys make. They are such an encouragement!

    • @jollyjulesy
      @jollyjulesy 6 років тому +2

      Caralee Rose really good stuff! I also said that in the video but they had to trim it down so it wasn’t in there. Haha. But it’s true, the guys were friends with are likely to be someone else’s wife one day. When we’re married our most intimate relationships will be with our husband and other women. I think it’s smart to treat guys like they are already married. If they want to pursue you, they should be intentional about that!

  • @brecrady777
    @brecrady777 6 років тому +6

    Your all's videos has really pulled me out of a dark place and has encouraged me to get back on track with Jesus and to share my testimony to others !! God bless you guys!! I love You brother and sister!! We are warriors !! ❤😊

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому +1

      Praise God!! That is so amazing :) Thank you so much. So happy to have you in the P&M Fam!

  • @christieglanville5788
    @christieglanville5788 6 років тому +17

    "PUSH EM OUT! PUSH EM OUT!" 😂😂😂

  • @GGCCcrew
    @GGCCcrew 5 років тому +2

    I totally agree that it isn’t possibly to be best friends with a guy without developing feelings. I heard it from an older friend of mine and told myself that I was the exception; lo and behold, things got VERY messy with my guy best friend who I shared EVERYTHING to. It was admittedly difficult for me to open up to girls because all my life I’ve gotten along with guys more. However, from that super painful situation, I learned that it is the absolute best for anyone to keep boundaries and a healthy distance from guy best friends- you HAVE to have a girl friend that is closer and who u can open up to on a deeper level, or things WILL go too far with feelings. Hanging out alone was definitely a cause of it, and I have so many regrets.

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  5 років тому +1

      I'm glad you've learned from those experiences and have boundaries for your friendships/relationships now :) But don't be so hard on yourself and hold on to those as regrets. You have learned, matured, and moved past those times. I challenge you to continue growing in your faith and use experiences you may not be as proud of as a growing opportunity! God redeems us and wants the best for us :)

  • @larevival4074
    @larevival4074 6 років тому +116

    Also, loved your sister Julia! Great example of a single godly woman!!

  • @kellynorthern3612
    @kellynorthern3612 6 років тому +2

    I so struggle with being such a friendly, passionate person, and not wanting it to come off in a flirtatious way. So Thankyou for this video

  • @amber_cheree3929
    @amber_cheree3929 6 років тому +9

    This was straight from heaven. Been praying about this!! Y’all are amazing!!!! Each of you!

  • @indyamay9511
    @indyamay9511 6 років тому +7

    At 8:04 totally true. I've had a guy friend that went a little more than friends and I had to tell him and kinda be the mean person and say I just want to be friends. Because he wouldn't take the hints. This really helps a lot. It wasn't just him, I've done some stuff as been too physical or flirty, but more wisdom could've been used. This is definitely comfirmation that I made the right decision of ending it. Thank you

  • @MichelleGaddi
    @MichelleGaddi 6 років тому +10

    I completely agree with you all on this! It’s so important (especially for us women) to guard our hearts and have healthy boundaries with opposite sex. It’s also good practice for marriage. So many emotional affairs happening, leading to more because of opposite sex friendships. Thank you for this video!

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому +1

      Yes! Great practice :) You're so welcome. Thank you for your comment

  • @Anna_Marie_Music
    @Anna_Marie_Music 6 років тому +6

    PRAISE THE LORD. This video couldn't have been posted at a better time. I'm about to go into college and I really needed to hear this! Paul and Morgan- always comin through for us! I don't think I'm gonna stop watching your channel anytime soon. May God Bless you guys, and Jacob and Julia! Keep imparting wisdom

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому +1

      Anna Baugham Awww yay!! We’re so happy to have you in the P&M Fam!! 😄💜🙏🏼

  • @shannongeisler141
    @shannongeisler141 6 років тому +5

    I needed this video! Thank you! I’m about to go into a season of co-leading a lifegroup with two guys, one of whom I already know fairly well. These boundaries are definitely something I need to stick by as I’ll be interacting with these guys nearly everyday.

  • @rebeccadurden4281
    @rebeccadurden4281 6 років тому +2

    This is such an important topic! As a young, single Christian it’s so important for me to make sure I’m open and honest about where I’m at with people. For me, personally, it’s harder for me to have a guy best friend because I know the biggest desire of my heart is to be a wife and a mom, and when I meet whoever my husband will be, I don’t want him to think I’m emotionally invested in someone else just because he’s my best friend.

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому +1

      Rebecca Harris amen girl! That’s so wise 💜

    • @rebeccadurden4281
      @rebeccadurden4281 6 років тому

      Paul and Morgan you guys rock! Seriously my favorite channel ❤️

  • @heyitsmesteffi
    @heyitsmesteffi 6 років тому +16

    I have really been struggling with this topic for a while now, especially more recently. One of my best friends is a Christian guy and we’ve been through a lot because of school. Two years ago we both admitted to liking each other and wanting to date but we weren’t ready at the time, him especially. Now we are entering our 5th year in a 6 year program and we haven’t addressed our past discussions. We’ve grown so much in the last two years but the issue is we never set any emotional boundaries. I was his closest friend until he finally got involved in a campus ministry this past year and it’s been difficult for me to watch. I am so glad he is involved in a ministry, I am as well but mine has been falling apart so this year was wonderful for him but really difficult for me. I feel forgotten by him now and I hate how dependent I’ve become on our relationship. He’s called me within the past year his best friend and that made me so happy. But when I started getting involved in his ministry the first question people asked was if we were dating. I was content in our friendship until that point. I hate how I desire for a different relationship with him but I truthfully believe our friendship can’t last. We are too verbally intimate with one another, it’s like we’re dating without the label. It’s really messing with me. I feel like I’m rambling about this but I have so many thoughts and I know that protecting my heart is the best thing to do and I pray for that but it is so difficult to not be hurt or want more. I want more yet I’m also feeling forgotten. Thank you for posting this video. These are words I’ve needed to hear. I wish I heard this message two years ago. I’m way beyond being cautious and now I’m trying to recover and figure out this mess.

    • @saraoliveira8836
      @saraoliveira8836 6 років тому +3

      heyitsmesteffi I've been there. I was reading your comment and thinking about my own very similar experience. I tried for a year and a half to be just friends and I hated how dependent i was to our relationship. Well, if I can give any piece of advice it would be: be honest. You cannot keep hurting yourself (this whole situation is hurting you and your relationship with your friend). The first step I think you already took, you're being honest with yourself, deep down you know the friendship won't last and this 100% fine, this happens when we cross this kind of emotional line in friendships with the opposite sex. Now you need to be honest with him. If he feels the same you can work things out.. if don't I think the best thing to do is take some space and stop being best friends to try being just regular friends. It's terrible and it hurts like a breakup but it will hurt more if you keep pushing so hard to keep this friendship

    • @saraoliveira8836
      @saraoliveira8836 6 років тому +4

      Please don't read this as being rude, I truly just wanted to share what I learned living a very similar experience. God bless you and may everything work out 😙💜

    • @heyitsmesteffi
      @heyitsmesteffi 6 років тому +2

      No don't apologize! I actually am really thankful that you took the time to comment. All the things you said are true and I have been thinking a lot of these things for a bit now. I have just been waiting for a good moment, as well building up the courage, to sit down and talk with him about our relationship and more than likely putting some distance between us. I know I need to focus on my own relationship with God and all of these emotions are getting in the way. Again thank you for your words of encouragement!

    • @saraoliveira8836
      @saraoliveira8836 6 років тому

      heyitsmesteffi 💜💜💜

    • @HeyNateRodgers
      @HeyNateRodgers 6 років тому +4

      I was in a relationship like this as well. Ours was just as confusing and somewhat similar to yours. This women of God helped me through so much at the time (I was dealing with depression, sickness, and MUCH more). For this, I am forever grateful. She got me steadfast in the Word, pushed me to my limits, and took me out of my comfort zone. At first, I had no feelings for her whatsoever and she was just a great friend. I was also in no mental state of mind to be in a relationship coming out of a deep depression. I could literally barely function with everyday activities. I did grow feelings for her steadily. We ended up, eventually, speaking of marriage/kids/etc. but the kicker is she still called us "friends." She would reciprocate with kisses, hugs, and the like but to her we were just friends... obviously we were not, I know now. Anyway, I became too dependent on her like you are or were with him. It wasn't God first anymore (not that I left God or anything), but it was that I went to her instead - basically I was needy, I'll admit. This took a palpable, inevitable toll on the relationship. One day I asked her to go to chapel like we usually did. She replied, no at first. Then slowly before I could respond (not thinking anything serious; I figured she just had school work or something) she said, "I never want to go to chapel again with you." This broke my heart as just a couple days before she asked me "how we are doing." I said, "Good... how do _you_ think we are doing?" She said, "I think we are doing wonderful." We had had arguments, struggles, of course. But nothing to this level. It still hits me so hard how she did it... this was not like her at all. I think now it had to be God who did it.
      So, this upset me so much that I was literally vomiting. I texted her multiple times, and no response. She blocked me - No FaceTime, no text, no calls, nothing. Needless to say I fell into another depression. But, there is a good ending! God has delivered me, again, through depression! He can, and will help anyone out there. I don't know how serious you guys are, but I am praying for you! What Sara said is great as well. I would actually urge you to do more than just taking space, but cut all ties like my relationship did. Again, like Sara said it will hurt like a breakup bad, but if you guys rekindle something again, it will hurt twice as hard. God broke us up because I would *NOT* have ended our relationship. But He put her into my life as a friend, not anything more. And that she was, a great friend. The Lord gives and takes away - Job 1:21. Remember it's His plans and he has great plans for you! Someone who is worthy of you. Maybe he is not it Steffi. But hey, what do I know? Aha! I just don't want to see you hurt like I was. But God taught me even through the hurting if you go that route too, just know He is good and trust Him.
      PS. I hope I didn't ramble for too long and made some sense. Sorry for the dramatic story, but it's how it actually went. If you want more on the story which is actually a part of my testimony now, I'm bored and can email. Lol.

  • @breajoy4438
    @breajoy4438 6 років тому +2

    LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!!
    I have the same opinion and throughout highschool it was hard because all my friends at church didn’t agree with me (even my big brother who was in the friend group) it was hard to be friends with the guys because they were so close to all the other girls and they (and I) had a hard time being true friends because they felt like they couldn’t get close to me...
    So anyway, it’s just REALLY encouraging to hear that there are others with the same opinion!
    Thanks for all you do guys! Love you!

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому +2

      Aww! Way to stay strong, girl! The bible says even your family will turn away from you. In certain areas. But we're called to stay strong and keep on walking. So go you! :D Happy we could encourage you.

  • @cicimelendez4557
    @cicimelendez4557 6 років тому +6

    I love your videos Paul and Morgan! Recently I've been going through depression and anxiety really bad and watching your videos has helped me look to God more, become more positive on my outlook of things, and has generally lightened my mood. Thank you guys for what you do! ❤️❤️❤️

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому +2

      CiCi Melendez awe praise God. Stay strong Sister. God is for you

  • @valeriagomez2099
    @valeriagomez2099 6 років тому +20

    So I’m more of a confrontative person, so if I suspect a friend likes me I would most likely talk clearly to him. But what holds me back is not been sure if they actually have feelings. Like, what if he doesn’t and he is just been nice, and I’m friendzone-ing him? I feel like in that case I may seem pathetic or like boastful for assuming he would like me or something. Does it make any sense? Haha

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому +1

      Valeria Gomez haha we definitely get that 😂🙏🏼

  • @liamandres9859
    @liamandres9859 6 років тому +34

    Julia is _cracking me up._ Looks like she's thinking 'What is going on with you two?' XD
    Also, that being up front thing was one of the best tips I've heard. Most guys really can't get the hint unless it's explicit. There are some few who will though.
    This video is great! Again literally confirmed my thoughts on the topic.

  • @anniethegreat22
    @anniethegreat22 6 років тому +2

    I actually have a guy best friend from high school. When things were getting a bit far like some physical contacts happen, I wrote a letter to him and set the boundaries. Then, even though we had kind of a break time for a few months, we got back to each other and enjoyed our friendship in a more pure & holy way. I have to say by being firm and clear once, it feels better in the friendship without worrying the other might misunderstood.

  • @violinperson1835
    @violinperson1835 6 років тому +12

    Yall how did I already hit the like button within the first 2 seconds of watching! haha I love this feeling of having a channel that ALWAYS makes you smile the moment you start watching 😄😄 so happy!

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому

      Aweeee love this! Thank you❤️

    • @violinperson1835
      @violinperson1835 6 років тому

      Paul and Morgan you're welcome! Thank YOU for replying 😭❤️ love you guys

  • @marysiaprawdzinska4878
    @marysiaprawdzinska4878 6 років тому +4

    Hi, Guys! Thank You for another Godly subject :)
    I think that an important thing to add to Your discussion could be ... the temptation to watch the best friend of the oposite gender have a crush on you. For example I have such a friend, whom I met when I was only starting to date my (now) husband. From the very beginning of that acquiantance me and the friend were getting along great, "except" for the fact, that I fancied the guy-friend and saw the same feelings in him for me. And though having met my (then) boyfriend, my friend made sure that I was in a relationship and so he didn't want to take our friendship further, I still struggled trying to avoid flirting with him, because being adored by another man was sooo tempting! Thank God, I've overcome this issue. I'm telling you it all, because I know from my own experience, that yes, there are those innocent people who just come out a little clumsy when trying to obey boundaries in friendship with people of the oposite sex, but I also point at myself as an example of a woman, who just likes to be the tragically unavailable princess to other guy than her boyfriend. I wish I could fail at sticking to the boundaries because of my naivety and not because of my vanity. :(
    Once again thank You for bringing up this subject and greetings from Poland!

  • @janessarobbins4951
    @janessarobbins4951 6 років тому +2

    This is actually what I have really been needing lately I am a high school freshman and have started to get some really good guy friends at church have really not wanted to lead them in when I really just want to be friends with them!! Thank you so much!!

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому

      Praise God! :D you are so welcome. Thank YOU! :D

  • @marijnejanse3377
    @marijnejanse3377 4 роки тому +1

    Oh boy I needed to hear this!!!! I have a guy friend and I realise I made some mistakes in the past. At some point I actually did open up to him and confront him about both of our actions cause I thought he was developing feelings and I sortof was too (but I was dating someone else, but that's a whole nother sadly messed up story) but turns out he had no feelings. Thankfully we were able to sortof work things out. This was over half a year ago, but I still struggle with it. We have so much in common. And he can be so flirtatious. I really need to remind myself to stay pure! But thank you for this video, a great encouragement really!

  • @nienke7609
    @nienke7609 5 років тому +2

    I would agree, I am also pretty out going and I love giving people hugs but whenever my friendship with a guy progresses, like we have deep conversations, the first thing I tell him how I am feeling and that we are just friends and everything.. Set your own boundaries!!

  • @moniquecvanwyk3994
    @moniquecvanwyk3994 6 років тому +1

    This is really good. I love your page💖
    I have a friend and we serve together on the same team. He has been assigned to assist with my home cell group and I realised that I like him. I have no idea how he feels but he would do things like hold my hand, intertwine his fingers with mine, hug me really tightly and if he sees I'm not 100% he'd ask what's up. One of my great friends (recently married) gave me this great advice to focus on what I have been doing and if he is still in my lane I shouldn't break my head over it (learning to do that now🙈) and if it turns up that I still feel the way I do now, I should give it to God.

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому

      Definitely give it to God, girl! He will guide you :)

  • @rebekkag.947
    @rebekkag.947 6 років тому +2

    Thanks for this video! I honestly don't believe that girls and boys can be best friends without starting to have feelings for each other. I only know stories from "best friends" that fell in love

  • @wittysecrets8176
    @wittysecrets8176 6 років тому +16

    I've learnt from experience! Now I know my boundaries! Wisdom is very important!
    Hey I like Jacob's crazy personality 😂

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому

      Good stuff, Grace! We like his craziness too!

  • @stacyrodriguez128
    @stacyrodriguez128 4 роки тому +6

    "I love my guy bestfriend!" Had me wheezing. XD

  • @mildaphutimojapelo2550
    @mildaphutimojapelo2550 6 років тому +21

    Notification Gang 💃💃
    all the way in South Africa at 11pm.

    • @wethu12337
      @wethu12337 5 років тому

      Eeyyy! 🙋🏾‍♀️🌠

  • @digitalwitness2143
    @digitalwitness2143 6 років тому +8

    This is such a huge topic! I love that you guys are talking about it. I feel like if you are going after the Lord and your intentions are what He wants for your life, then it won't be difficult being around the opposite sex as just friends because your intentions are to bring that person closer to God, too.

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому +1

      Digital Witness thanks for the comment!

  • @The4Tifier
    @The4Tifier 5 років тому +2

    Short Answer: It's not possible; neither for women to be "just friends" with guys, or for men to be "just friends" with women.
    To quote this video;
    Girl: I had a lot of guy friends growing up, especially in high school. And it was shocking to me that a lot of them confessed that they had crushes on me. I even had secret crushes on some of them as well, but it never became anything more because we never shared our feelings until much later.
    To quote C.S. Lewis;
    "When the two people who thus discover that they are on the same secret road are of different sexes, the friendship which arises between them will very easily pass - may pass in the first half hour - into erotic love. Indeed, unless they are physically repulsive to each other or unless one or both already loves elsewhere, it is almost certain to do so sooner or later..."
    To quote Mark Ballenger;
    "Friendships between members of the opposite sex, especially among younger people, are just not made to last very long. Eventually, one or both will catch feelings for the other, or get into a relationship/marriage with someone else, and the frienship from then on out just quickly dissolves. Because once a romantic relationship forms, there's no true way for you to remain close friends with the other without making your friendship and any relationship(s) you two have outside that friendship awkward and possibly ruined."
    To quote Mark Ballenger (again);
    "God has designed most of us with the need to love and be loved within a romantic relationship. This is why when friendships form between members of the opposite sex, it is virtually impossible for not a single member of that friendship group to not catch feelings for another person. Because a core of our being is a need for relationships, it is so easy to become interested and attracted to members of the opposite sex that we get along with and hang out with on a regular basis."

    • @Princetonlove34
      @Princetonlove34 4 роки тому

      Yeah I don't fully agree with this, I think I'm probably just a rare case but I have a close guy friend that I've known since pre k and he is married now and I became close friends with his wife and was one of her bridesmaids in their wedding, they had a daughter a couple months ago and his wife asked me personally to be the babies godmother, I'm not married, but I am in a serious relationship and me and my bf hang out with them all the time so it is possible to maintain platonic friendships

  • @kristinajones7935
    @kristinajones7935 6 років тому +3

    Loved seeing Julia in this video. She's so wise and insightful. Would love to see her and Morgan do a video together like Paul and Jacob!

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому

      We love Jules! That's a great idea! :D

  • @codian1996
    @codian1996 6 років тому +14

    Guys, love the video. Here my question. How do you make friends with girls. I am always the new girl everywhere and it's always easier to make friends with guys because they are so straight forward. I am also a big introvert. So yea

  • @tabbyrh978
    @tabbyrh978 6 років тому +2

    You guys are hysterical!!! :D And I love how you include your friends and family in videos! It just makes everything that much more fun and we get to see who your squad is and it's lovely :) I've been in both of the situations you mentioned: being friends with a guy and having him like me as more than a friend and then being close friends with another guy and then falling in love with him. In the first situation, I was worried about hurting his feelings when I finally caught on to how he was viewing the relationship but like Julia mentioned, guys are oblivious haha and we need to be straight up with them about relationship things. It cost me months of turmoil (just 'cause I overthink things A TON) after I finally confronted him about it but we're still friends now for which I am immensely thankful. In the second situation, I never planned on telling the guy my feelings for a myriad of reasons but it eventually came out through a series of events and he and I are also still friends now though not as close we used to be, also for which I am immensely thankful. It's still tough getting over the last situation even though it happened nearly a year ago now but God definitely taught me loads of lessons because of it and because of the situation with the first guy. In light of all that, I'd say you have to be VERRRRYYYYYY careful about deep relationships with the opposite sex because most often one develops feelings for the other and most often, those feelings tend to not be reciprocated and friendships can fall apart. And everything you said about unintentionally leading people on is spot on too!! Another stellar video, guys!! Love you guys and keep shining

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому

      AAWWW Tabby, we love you so much! Thank you for your comment! I think you shared some great wisdom! So happy you are still able to be friends with that guy. That shows maturity for sure! :)

  • @paulabangue8941
    @paulabangue8941 5 років тому +32

    You can be best best friends with a guy. Your husband. 😂😂
    This is just a joke!

    • @Thejadyn
      @Thejadyn 5 років тому +2

      But is it????

    • @Princetonlove34
      @Princetonlove34 4 роки тому +2

      @@Thejadyn your husband should be your best friend, but not your only best friend

  • @mariahwisdom-peters6919
    @mariahwisdom-peters6919 6 років тому +33

    I feel like you might need to change your channel to Paul and Morgan and friends, lol. You seem to have really good friends! ❤️

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому +4

      Mariah Wisdom-Peters haha we do have some awesome friends :)

  • @lesleycervantes2537
    @lesleycervantes2537 6 років тому +29

    I have this guy friend (who’s my best friend) and since we’re the only single ones in our friend group everyone thinks we like each other and it makes me feel like I can’t talk to him as much in public because people will think it’s more than it actually is. Do you guys have any advice on my situation?

    • @kristin5376
      @kristin5376 6 років тому +8

      Lesley Cervantes This is too relatable for me. My best friend was a guy for a long time. Recently, I learned that opening up to him all the time made us create a strong emotional bond that made it almost give a relationship feel (not a friendship one). We later came to the conclusion that we had feeling for each other. So I started to open up more towards my best female friend (my now best friend) and in this case I don't have to worry about developing feeling. In your case, however, as long as you both know you don't have feeling and all you are is friends, then don't worry about what other people think. If you're questioning your friendship and the bond between you two, ask God what he thinks about the relationship as well.

    • @briannadrummond6516
      @briannadrummond6516 5 років тому +1

      Ship them with someone they hate :3

  • @reaganperry7836
    @reaganperry7836 5 років тому

    My best friend from kindergarten and not only is he my best friend but the whole family!! We share each others hardest times and it is great to get the other gender's perspective, I hang out at his house literally all of the time. Both of us are Christians and we view each other as brother and sister. So to us we could never see us being together because we have grown up together. We tell each other we love each other like brother and sister in Christ. So for the circumstances you were stating yes they should be cautious. However some people there is nothing behind it and when you grow up with them it isn't a big deal. But love your guys video and spreading the light of Jesus, you have really brought other things to my attention, so I thought I would just comment this to be informative!! Love you guys

  • @hannahour
    @hannahour 5 років тому +7

    I would also say that if you are truly hanging out with a male friend to keep in mind what you are wearing in terms of clothing and makeup and such. Guys definitely notice appearance and if you dress up every single time the two of you go out, he's most likely going to think that you are hinting at something. My sis was in this pickle and whenever she was telling me she was going out with a certain friend, I w started to notice what she was wearing and even advised her to dress more casual. She didn't like what I was saying and continued to do her own thing and eventually, she found out that this male friend thought that
    1. They were dating and in a relationship
    2. Tried to put his hand on her
    3. Tries to kiss her
    And she ended up very upset and ended up blocking him for good.
    I really don't like saying that there are restrictions on clothing in this situation....but it definitely plays a huge part.
    Edit: FYI this happened a long time ago now. It is no longer relevant. I just wanted to comment my observation and opinion. That is all.

    • @MakailaMcDaniel
      @MakailaMcDaniel 4 роки тому +2

      Artemis Hannah Dressing nice all the time does not equate to liking someone. Unless you are legitimately flirting and saying “Hey I like you” nobody should assume you like them and shouldn’t be upset if you don’t. Don’t restrict your personality for anybody.

    • @BombBoy96
      @BombBoy96 4 роки тому

      @@MakailaMcDaniel you just dont get it do you. "Nobody should assume"... look at those words. You are speaking in hypothetical idealism for what you believe things should be like with no regard for how things ACTUALLY are.

    • @MakailaMcDaniel
      @MakailaMcDaniel 4 роки тому

      K O “How things actually are” Give me a break. I’m guessing it’s safe to assume you’re one of those guys huh? I don’t give a fuck if men do it on a regular, doesn’t make it okay. So if I have mainly guy friends, and my main clothing style is typically something more put together and pretty, am I not allowed to wear what I normally would around them?What’s the point of being friends with someone I can’t be myself around? I’m sorry, but if you’re the type of guy who hangs out with a girl friend and assumes she dressing pretty for you only, you have issues. I have plenty of guy friends, whom I’ve known for years, and never once has any one of them came on to me because of how I was dressed. If a guy forces himself on you (I.e. grabs your hand forcefully, tries to kiss you out of no where) then he’s a piece of shit, and it’s most definitely not your fault.

    • @MakailaMcDaniel
      @MakailaMcDaniel 4 роки тому

      Your sister happens to make “friends” with someone who didn’t want friendship. It’s not normal to automatically think your dating someone for just hanging out. 🤦‍♀️ If no one said it was a date, it’s not your sisters fault, it’s the creepy ass guy’s. This is getting to close for comfort to “She was asking for it”.

  • @marleenvanhamersveld5940
    @marleenvanhamersveld5940 6 років тому +13

    I’m waiting on the next video! Aaaand waiting on your next live stream! Love this video! Blessings to you all😊

  • @ashleem63
    @ashleem63 6 років тому +3

    This was totally meant for me! I struggle with how to interact with the guys in my life\church\school\job, because I am a naturally friendly woman from the south. I'm a hugger lol. Thanks for making such great content y'all!

  • @shannonlester8225
    @shannonlester8225 6 років тому +3

    Totally agree with you all on this one. I believe that two people of the opposite sex can't be best friends. This is because if you start forming a deep bond with a person of the opposite sex, eventually one of you will fall for the other.. Romantic relationships stem from the same thing as friendships. You care about that person, enjoy spending time together and grow strong emotional bonds with them. But the one variable that determines if it develops into something more intimate is GENDER. If you are a straight male or female then you should seek out people of the same sex to be best friends with. Think about it this way, your future husband or wife knows you better than anyone & has formed a deep relationship with you. You two love spending every minute together. This is because your husband/wife is your best friend. A straight male and female can not JUST be best friends without someone developing deeper feelings. Its just not how god made it. We seek a life partner, and if that person begins to fit all the criteria for a potential life partner and they are the opposite sex.. Well then what is stopping you from falling in love? Thank you for this video! I agree with what Morgan said 100%

    • @shannonlester8225
      @shannonlester8225 6 років тому +2

      Not saying you can't have any friends who are guys but you have to set boundaries. They just shouldn't be your very best friend. Find someone of the same sex to grow those deep friendships with if that's all you are looking for. I have been dating my best friend for the past three years and because I have him, I don't feel the need to form deep (or any) friendships with guys at all.

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому

      Shannon Lester amen girl!! You’re very wise 💜

  • @Celestria
    @Celestria 4 роки тому +1

    I find it frustrating because any guy I get along with and actually like as a friend, they always end up liking me. And I never hang out one on one with guys because I don't want to give them the wrong idea. I'm not a touchy feely or flirty person at all. But I am friendly to everyone and enjoy talking to people. I'm always aware of how i interact with guys because I want to make sure I'm not doing anything that could be interpreted at flirting. But every guy I get along well with and can have a conversation with, every time it turns out they like me, which makes me think my dad is right when he says guys and girls can never be just friends. If a guy wants to be good friends with a girl, it's because he likes her.
    But Paul, you and Jacob don't seem to feel that way, so I'm curious if you guys have ever found yourself genuinely wanting to be only good friends with a girl and had no interest whatsoever in her. Like you liked talking to her and maybe y'all texted or whatever, but you had no romantic interest or anything.

  • @ashnikfield4224
    @ashnikfield4224 5 років тому +1

    I’m glad I found your channel! It’s so clean and yall are hilarious and fun to watch!

  • @saranghae2808
    @saranghae2808 6 років тому +1

    I think a girl shouldn't have a dude as her BFF. Like, how is that not gonna go south? Thanks for sharing, guys!

  • @victoriadeimler1445
    @victoriadeimler1445 6 років тому +3

    Thank you guys so much for your wise advice. I know it's not always easy to talk about some things, and I appreciate your courage.

  • @_heislovely
    @_heislovely 6 років тому +15

    I totally believe that we ARE meant to be “best best friends” with the opposite sex, but only in a relationship! Other than that no. A guy and a girl cannot be genuine innocent best friends. It kinda just doesn’t genuinely work. There will be some type of feelings or emotions that will arise. I feel like best friendship (literally just made that word up) is designed to be inside a relationship. Friends= totally fine, best friends= only good if dating.

  • @laurenschordock8761
    @laurenschordock8761 6 років тому +15

    I really needed this video wow!!!!! Thank you so much!!!!

  • @elianasiordia7344
    @elianasiordia7344 6 років тому +1

    I really needed this , I’ve been praying about a friendship with a godly guy at church and it’s good advice that I need to know if I become friends with him :)

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому

      Eliana Siordia that’s awesome 😄💜

  • @hisfavouritedoll
    @hisfavouritedoll 6 років тому

    This is amazing advice I think you guys are on point. I used to get in a lot of difficult situations that I couldn't always control with guys & it was due to things like having an overly friendly & flirty personality. It was coming across in ways I wasn't realizing & the repercussions were very strong. Had I not got myself in so many one on one friendships with guys I'm sure things would have been much different. If only UA-cam videos like yours had been around then but no matter because now I have my testimonies that I can share with others to help them. Hearing the wonderful advice even after all my negative experiences is really awesome. It's a great summary for me going forward and now being in a solid relationship of my own, I better understand the value of living in an upright way. God bless you for this msg.

  • @christineseregely8312
    @christineseregely8312 6 років тому +2

    I think it's possible but chances are feelings would eventually come up. I'm best friends with a guy and we started out as friend, tried dating but figured out very quickly that we are better as friends, and are back to being best friends. It's worked for us but we are also aware of boundaries. He's dating someone else now so we are aware of boundaries for sure!
    I too have a bubbly personality so this was helpful to be mindful of how I can come off to guys. And this is also helpful for how to interact with other guy friends too! So thank you 😊

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому

      That's very interesting! Thanks for sharing. I think it's cool that you were able to still be friends after dating. :)

  • @coreyadams8407
    @coreyadams8407 6 років тому +5

    I really related to this video! I have a best friend that is a girl and we have been friends for over 7 years and we go to each other with our biggest and most emotional problems and I don’t feel that it has changed our friendship in such ways to where we develop deeper feelings! But I also limit what we do and where we hang out just because I want to avoid any temptation.

    • @marystahlschmidt3661
      @marystahlschmidt3661 6 років тому

      Corey Adams ayyee so my best friend is a guy! Neither one of us have feelings but to ensure this, what boundaries do you set?? Anything specific? Any advice?

    • @coreyadams8407
      @coreyadams8407 6 років тому +4

      Mary Stahlschmidt the main boundaries I’ve set between us is I do not hang out with her alone unless in a public place. And I avoid her room at all costs. For example the other day I went to pick her up to go run after I got off of work and I needed to change and she told me to just go change in her room and I immediately told her I’ll just use the restroom. Lol it sounds harmless to just change in her room, but I’m human and I can’t say that I wouldn’t wonder. I would like to think that I wouldn’t, but like I said I’m human. But my advice for you is to just stay close to God. He will give you the discernment that you will need to stay best friends with your friend, but at the same time stand clear of it becoming anything more than what God intended it to be! Best of luck!

    • @marystahlschmidt3661
      @marystahlschmidt3661 6 років тому +4

      Corey Adams ahh!! Thank you so much! That actually really helps!! Im really encouraged to see a Christian guy setting these types of boundaries. Bless you!

  • @walkingwithH
    @walkingwithH 6 років тому +3

    So goood wisdom y’all!🙌🏽 one of your best videos so far! God bless you famm❤️

  • @miasarahgriffith8628
    @miasarahgriffith8628 6 років тому +1

    really good points y’all, i needed this! and please have julia and jacob moreeeee! 💕

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому +1

      Mia Griffith thank you! We definitely will 💜

  • @libertypruett7114
    @libertypruett7114 6 років тому +1

    I agree with a lot of what you’re saying. I do think it changed when one or both are in a relationship. But when it comes to the out going type I do think it also changes when both are that way, when you hug great all your friends and they also hug great all their friends I think it’s ok. I agree with the group setting to a point having either a third person in the group or just being in a public setting or like being at yours or their house having a parent or sibling in the house is a good idea. When it comes to the bedroom like IF you’re going to be in there have the door open. Don’t sit on the bed together. And be in there for a purpose like playing a game or doing something or looking at something. Like unless there’s no way to be able to have your personally friendship convo without being in there (like try living room dining room or kitchen or outside) if all are occupied either save conversation or just be very aware. If you feel the other becoming attracted to you, be aware and just make it clear, whether it’s a flat out “hey don’t become interested” or it’s like you’re a good friend and I love my boyfriend and I’m glad I can have both and trust that you aren’t interested..... lol idk. This is all from experience and it’s gone well so far. Love y’all!!

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому +1

      Good points! :) Thanks for your comment.

  • @martab77
    @martab77 6 років тому +2

    Thank you guys for doing these vids.. you are my guides from now on 😂❤ God bless and keep doing what you doing.. this is so informative and such a great idea!
    You got yourselves a new subscriber! :)

  • @nanakwafoa
    @nanakwafoa 3 роки тому

    It's Julia's gentleness for me 🤍🤍

  • @abigailwatts5902
    @abigailwatts5902 6 років тому +1

    I've watched so many of your videos and all of them are honestly so useful and helpful. Soemtimes I have struggled to know boundaries on certain aspects of the Christian life and they have answered so many of my questions. So thank you!

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому

      Yay! That's amazing! So happy God is speaking to you through our videos. Welcome to the P&M Fam! :D

  • @ashnikfield4224
    @ashnikfield4224 5 років тому

    I used to live in Utah where there were so many people of my religion. I made friends with guys left and right and I loved it! But now that I moved, the guys and girls aren’t very friendly and stuff anymore. Some are but some arent. I know the Lord put me in this position so that I can be stronger and that I can prepare for the real world out there. He put me here so that I could step out of my comfort zone and let my light shine. I pray every night to help me find some guy friends who I can actually look up to. Thanks so much for your advice I love you all so so much ❤️

  • @shadyabrown-hall5955
    @shadyabrown-hall5955 5 років тому +1

    A guy and a girl can be friends and I agree with Julia. Be direct about the atablishment of the relationship and know that this is your brother/ sister in the Lord. If you guys are close that's great but have boundaries. Like to go all hugging and being overly touchy. You can be a loving and encouraging without leading them on. Just be aware and treasure the friendship.

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  5 років тому

      Thanks for sharing and making some solid points! :)

  • @jemimaphilip2074
    @jemimaphilip2074 6 років тому +20

    lol i needed this a year ago

  • @DIEGOPSYCHE
    @DIEGOPSYCHE 5 років тому +1

    It's hard one. I have ideas but I'm stuck. I'd say enjoy the friendship but just any human friendship can take a turn for better or worse. Talking about it take away the good vibe but at the same time I think it is good to prepare. A good friend of either gender usually is someone meaningful. As soon some feels something that is a little off just say something.

  • @melissabrink2045
    @melissabrink2045 5 років тому +1

    I agree with a lot of your videos and what you guys live out. However I agree with very little in this one. I have always (even now at age 30) had a lot of guy friends. I don't think it's an issue to spend time with them alone , in public or even to share. I never hang out alone with any guys in my room. And usually try not to be alone at home with any guys either. And yes sometimes you end up having deeper feelings if you're close to a guy... but that can develop into a good relationship or eventually the feelings subside, I'm not hurt by or hung up on any of the guys I've had as friends over the years. No one needs to act on those feelings either. Secondly, I've found guys to generally be better friends. And lastly, I don't think girls should tone themselves down because people think it's flirting. I did this and it changed me and I wish it hadn't. It made me overly aware of everything I did and said and it's hard for me to really be carefree and easy going now.

  • @CourageDearHeart316
    @CourageDearHeart316 6 років тому +2

    0:23 Jacob👀 you know you wanted to say "The Paul and Jacob, The Paul and Jacob show"😅😂😂😂ok Imma stop.

  • @WakeUpMakeupTime
    @WakeUpMakeupTime 6 років тому +1

    Uggggg I’m so guilty of being mean to guys so they don’t think I like them. Which I hate, but it’s sooo hard

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому

      Hahaha... I understand. It's a hard balance. You'll get it though! :)

  • @sunshinehurricane1139
    @sunshinehurricane1139 6 років тому +5

    Oh my gosh I really needed to watch this I love your videos me and my boyfriend were just having a discussion about guy friends and everything because it seems when I put a boundary I'm not so firm about it like I should be because I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings but I love this video videos like these definitely help me being a college student and just day-by-day through life

  • @lizetcano8316
    @lizetcano8316 6 років тому +1

    I love this, recently I was questioning a friendship with a guy Christian friend so perfect timing & I will be cautious. God bless all of y’all ❤️

  • @estierivers97
    @estierivers97 6 років тому +1

    this video is so helpful! thanks for doing this!

  • @renategrobler7672
    @renategrobler7672 5 років тому +1

    I am new to your channel and have watched SO much of your videos and you guys really gave me some things to think about! Thank you so much.

  • @VihanDamaris
    @VihanDamaris 6 років тому +1

    I settled down to watch this so fast.

  • @lianarnst9489
    @lianarnst9489 6 років тому +3

    I totally agree with what was said. I have had a ton of friends that are guys and this is all very true to all of my experiences. I love all of Julia’s advice, it was great!!!

  • @kgbarrett1521
    @kgbarrett1521 6 років тому +2

    The intro made me laugh😂😂😂it's weird....you guys sound just like my parents😂very right on everything

  • @Imaginenigma77
    @Imaginenigma77 5 років тому +1

    Lol you guys are hilarious!!! And loved hearing your perspective. Gives me hope that guys are actually aware of this and are wanting to honor their relationships with their significant other by being very aware of their actions towards other woman. Thanks for sharing! Totally shared this with a friend too!!

  • @alexandriasheldon7621
    @alexandriasheldon7621 Рік тому

    Good facts right here. Thank you guys for your wisdom! As a social, smiley, happy person I know that can come across wrong. So being genuine but also having proper boundaries is key. Appreciate this so much!

  • @molliesteere6728
    @molliesteere6728 6 років тому +1

    Hey guys! Good video, I like you guys said it’s really tricky to be best friends with the opposite sex and not have romantic feeling be cultivated on one side or the other. I think you also have to be careful of this for when you’re thinking of getting married. Like if you have a guy best friend but are going to marry someone else that could cause some huge tension in a new marriage. So as married people definitely don’t have an opposite sec best friend. That space in your heart needs to be reserved for your spouse. But also even before that we have to be careful to guard our hearts.

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому

      Thank you for the comment, Mollie! Good stuff

  • @kalinrowley8480
    @kalinrowley8480 6 років тому +1

    It is so hard to not share the really deep stuff with one of my best friends who is a good Christian guy who gives amazing advice and I want to share but we have a romantic history (we never dated but we were that close) I really love him in a platonic way and every time I see him I just want to give him a bear hug

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому

      kalin rowley that’s definitely a tough place to be.

  • @renbali9750
    @renbali9750 6 років тому +6

    Extremely encouraging!
    I struggled with this and sometimes still make mistakes.. Julia, you called it! DO NOT CONDEMN YOURSELF!! Jesus does not condemn you, I was so hard on myself and was miserable for a long time.. live and learn ASK for His WISDOM! You could never pray enough, surround yourself with people who will lovingly speak the truth.
    @paulandmorgan you guys are such a blessing! Heaps of Aloha ❤️

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  6 років тому

      Ren Bali aww thank you so much. So happy it encouraged you 💜

  • @larevival4074
    @larevival4074 6 років тому +1

    Good advice and would add that when you are married it is especially important you don't have close opposite sex friends OR same sex friends. Close friends other than your spouse can undermine your marriage. I have seen it happen many times in my 31 years of marriage.

  • @EldritchVelvet
    @EldritchVelvet 5 років тому

    Yo, what about doing more of the shoulder bump bro hug?
    Not really sure how to describe the start, but its like a high 5 into a pull so your opposite shoulders bump, with a hand tap on the upper back.
    I don't always like being touched, but that has always been my go to with casual acquaintances. Its a hug, but not overly touch and doesn't last more than like 5 seconds from start to finish.
    Also, even as far as being an unbeliever, it's really hard to best best friends with the opposite sex, especially if you play into your sex's stereotypes. I've only found that one can be best friends across genders if either the woman is more masculine or the guy is more feminine. Otherwise, most girls just don't get a lot of guy humor, and guys find it really hard to relate to the struggles of being a girl. I'm really harsh with my boys, we roast each other A LOT, but their girlfriends think we're being mean even though we know that we love each other

  • @jessimitchell2051
    @jessimitchell2051 6 років тому

    I LOVE everything y'all had to say about this subject! I've had to seek a lot of wise counsel on this subject because I am very friendly with both guys and girls and some guys just don't get that friendly doesn't mean flirty. All the advice I've received matches up perfectly with what y'all are saying. Boundaries are huge, especially being upfront with them. Seeking deep female friendships is important. Cutting down on hugging and length of hugs. And hanging out in groups.
    But one question I do have for you is this: What should I do if I have a guy friend but we don't have mutual friends/ a group to hang out in? See, we've been friends since high school but he's a couple years older so we don't have mutual friends. He's hung out with me and some of my friends in groups before but they don't all know each other so it is uncomfortable for him. I also have hung out with his family and vice versa so there are more people around than just the two of us. Since we're both in school and working we only get to catch up a couple times a year, so recently we'll usually just meet up for froyo. He's Mormon and has a girlfriend who lives in Mexico, so I totally would invite her along but that doesn't work since they are long distance. We both know that we are strictly friends. But still, I don't know if I'm wrong in how I'm handling this. I know that's a lot of information for you, but what do you think? Am I handling this correctly and in a Christian manner? How can I be more Christian/ apply your advice from this video in this friendship where we don't have mutual friends?

  • @alinawmusic662
    @alinawmusic662 6 років тому +3

    Wow its crazy how much God really works through this channel. I really needed some trustworthy advice on this and now I feel as though I know how to approach situations like this. Thank you so much! This channel is a gift from God!

  • @karenaribeth5427
    @karenaribeth5427 6 років тому +1

    Loved the video!

  • @tifearah
    @tifearah 5 років тому +2

    I don't know what to do in my situation... I live in France and I had a Japanese correspondant (like most japanese, he isn't christian) for a year. I am now in Japan for my studies, and we naturally decided to meet. I am not in love with him but I really appreciate him, and I'm really excited to meet him. To be honest he is one of the sweetest guy ever. I always thought we could be just friends but now that I know that we'll meet, I can't help but wonder if this won't end up into something else. He is not christian so I don't want to fall in love with him but at the same time I don't want to lose him, his friendship is precious to me... I don't know what to do... I'm so confused 😞

    • @PaulandMorgan
      @PaulandMorgan  5 років тому

      Just talk to God about it, keep your faith and trust what the Holy Spirit is guiding you to. :)

    • @tifearah
      @tifearah 5 років тому

      @@PaulandMorgan Today is the day I meet him, thank you so much for answering, I think that's what I needed to hear 😊 Love you guys 💗

  • @goldenembers4976
    @goldenembers4976 6 років тому

    Thank you guys for this video!
    I’m quiet a shy and self aware person so even when I just talk to one of my guy friends
    (Especially the one who knows I liked him) I feel like whatever I say they think I’m trying to flirt although I’m not in the slightest. I just wanna become actual friends and not just familiar faces. I’ve been getting better and this video really helped☺️

  • @zzz0e17
    @zzz0e17 6 років тому +2

    I totally agree with doing things--really choosing our battles--to be blameless before God. Flee when you have to.

  • @emilymatthea4298
    @emilymatthea4298 6 років тому +1

    This was much needed! My best mate just told me that he likes me and I just acted like nothing had gone on (to be honest, he’s admitted to liking me before) but I think God has brought this on my path to show me that I should distance myself from him a little. Also do you have any advice on finding good Christian girl friends? I come from a small town so I’ve not really met many girls that have also given their lives to Jesus!

  • @rebecageorgianabutnariu76
    @rebecageorgianabutnariu76 6 років тому +14

    Can you make a video about dancing, because I'm intrested in taking dance lessons but my parents are against it.I decided not to take dance lessons for now, because I dont want to disrespect my parents.When I wont be living with my parents anymore and I've grown up ,I would like to take dance lessons. I'm concerned, that you shouldn't dance something with sexual movements.But my mom says ,that every dance has hidden sexual references or provokes lustful thoughts at men.But I disagree on that and right now I dont think that every dance is bad and sexual but I also think ,that it's difficult to figure out where the line is.I would really love to dance choreography like these k pop dances ,but I dont know where to set the boundaries.
    Love Georgie

    • @billieeilishthequeen9494
      @billieeilishthequeen9494 5 років тому

      Rere Rere Girl dance your heart out! If you feel uncomfortable during any dance move just tell your teacher.

    • @pearlthedichotomy739
      @pearlthedichotomy739 5 років тому +1

      Dance as much as you want! You want to dance for yourself you’re not dancing for anyone else. Get those Kpop moves!!

    • @kiera6326
      @kiera6326 5 років тому

      I'm a dancer. I'm not sure that a man would find my arabesque sexy...

  • @faithkim230
    @faithkim230 6 років тому +1

    Pauls face when morgan is talking about all the guy friends shes had 🤣

  • @Michelle-rd8pz
    @Michelle-rd8pz 5 років тому +1

    This video was so helpful guys!! It really helped to affirm some questions I had about being friends/hanging with the opposite sex. ☺️❤️