I follow yours and Alan's "Cinema Therapy" channel, I wasn't aware you had your own. I really like it and am glad it was recommended to me in the algorithm lol.
In stark contrast to Ross and Rachel, who were spoiled by their parents, Monica and Chandler were more or less ignored by theirs. This explains why their relationship was extremely precious to them, and they worked harder to maintain it.
Ross and Rachel were an example of an unpredictable, yet toxic couple. Joey and Phoebe were the perfect depiction of a platonic Guy/Girl friendship. Monica and Chandler were the best representation of a loving, caring couple, where each partner supports each other mutually.
Idk man, I like monica and chandler, but at some points it felt like she was waaaay too controlling. It definitely doesn't go like big bang theory relationships since they did have several moments to shine, but there were definitely red flags for me
@@enkiimuto1041 Yeah she could be controlling but it was because of her OCPD. She literally couldn't help it. And the cool thing Chandler knew that and often let her think she's in control while leading her to a mutual compromise.
@@enkiimuto1041 I think the big picture is she is willing to make compromise for him, in spite of her nature. She will prioritize his needs because she loves him and he does the same for her. Even when they have strife, it always leads to accountability and compromise. They both also accept influence from each other and this allows them to grow together. They are both human and this inevitably leads to both making mistakes, its what they do about those mistakes that make up the difference. Unlike Ross who would probably marry Rachel and STILL write "we were on a break" on his tomb stone if he could.
Awe I really wish you had done the scene where Monica feels sad because someone called her high maintenance and Chandler very sweetly states that he loves maintaining her. I always loved that it wasn't just "No you're not honey don't worry!" I loved that he recognized and was honest that she had some traits that others could see that way, some flaws, but he didn't see them that way and loved that part of her because it gave him more ways to love her.
Or the scene where Chandler has the table-tennis match with Mark. After watching Monica and Mark play for three hours back-and-forth that's going nowhere he lets some steam out on the usual Chanlder like way while Monica answers with "You knew this when you married me!" about her competitive nature. Then Chandler just backs down and just accepts; "guess we're doing this then..." Then she hurts her hand and instead of walking away with Monica losing due not being able to play he jumps in like a giga-chad with "Now, I might not be able to understand why you have to win so badly, but if it's important to you, then it's important to me. Because I love you" And then he outright CRUSHES Mark in a mere seconds. And then what follows is him confessing that he never sucked at it, he just didn't want to reveal how good he was. "Whyyyy?" "I dunno..." "This is SO GREAT now we can enter into doubles tournaments!" "That's why." And what follows is Monica actually backs down after it, not pushing it further. Yeah, it's a three minute scene played for laugh and jokes more than anything, but it pretty much sums up why these two are such a great couple in the show. They both have their issues and on a majority of way they're opposites, but they both are willing to compromise for the sake of the other.
I disagree a little with “they slipped into bed”. When Monica first kissed Chandler, he specifically stopped her and asked “how drunk are you?” The answer? “Drunk enough that I know I want to do this, not so drunk that you should feel like you’re taking advantage.” As Chandler responded, “That’s the perfect amount.” 😉😂
Yeah, and I also think that "talking about feelings" just wasn't fit for their specific situation in the series. They didn't grow to be attracted for each other through time, it was truly a spur-of-the-moment thing, where Monica felt a sudden realization that Chandler could be attractive to her and value her. So, had they stopped to discuss it, it wouldn't really fit. It was a drunken decision that payed out, and their comedic tone throughout the whole thing kind of needed it to happen that way, to really kickstart their relationship.
The writers actually meant to have the scene in London as a fling, a one-off thing in Chandler-Monica story. It was the audience's minute long applause that set the deal and made them realize that it should be permanent.
Looking back at all Chandler’s comments about the two of them getting together, I always think it’s wild that the writers A) didn’t plan on making it happen and B) didn’t expect people to love it so much. It’s like they’d been planting the seeds subconsciously the whole time!
@@RoseForEverafter Even more ironic that the relationship they planned (Ross & Rachel) ended up being so toxic but the one that wasn't planned (Chandler & Monica) became arguably the healthiest relationship in sitcom history.
@@arcyarcanine I guess they banked on the planned relationship to carry the show with drama and 'awws' and the unplanned one didn't have that kind of pressure
Been hoping for this relationship to be covered. When Chandler assumes they will have to break up and Monica assures him that it was a fight and they can deal with it and move on, that is when I realized what the writers were doing with them.
@@Meg_intheclouds Yeah but it kind of works, in a weird way. I think he looses that when Monica ensures that he doesnt need to be like that. Thats something that a lot of people dont talk about: sure you can be anxiously attached, but a lot of partners will exasterbate and even toy with that attachment to fuel their ego and it will only make the anxious person look worse over time. In a truly healthy relationship, I believe its ok to be anxiously attached as long as the other lets them know they dont need to be. Im no therapist thats just my 2 cents.
One of my favorite Monica/ Chandler relationship episodes is when the gang meets this male chef who has everything in common with Monica. Every preference, every opinion, every like or dislike. Everyone keeps calling him Monica’s soulmate and it makes Chandler insecure. Finally he confesses his vulnerability to her, how maybe she’s meant to be with that guy, how that guy might be her soulmate. And Monica says she doesn’t actually believe in soulmates, or fate, or finding someone. But choosing someone and putting in the work. That by choosing each other they have become soulmates. I really loved her point of view for being more realistic but still romantic. I think it was after that ep they started using the phrase soulmates more often. ❤️
@@fantasyfiction101 I had to Google it to answer you 😂 It’s “the one where Joey tells Rachel” His name is Don and it’s a B plot line. I haven’t actually seen it since it first came out so 20 years? 😂😂😂 But like I said, it stayed with me 🤷♀️
@@Ykoz2016 Yup, that is the episode and I just saw it on HBO Max and also own the DVD Box Set. Phoebe was the one that was doing the poking fun at Chandler again by gloating that Don was her perfect soulmate. Then she tells Chandler that she will find him another one. But glad Monica told Chandler straight up that she didn't want him and didn't believe in the soulmates stuff, she just loves Chandler and enjoys being married to him.
Aww that's my favorite one too!!! I love it and 100% agree with you. It is realistic and romantic. They were always my favorite couple more so than Ross and Rachel.
S8E16 The One Where Joey Tells Rachel (I really admire Monica’s take on relationships. She really brought out the best in Chandler. I mostly skip season 8 bec of the whole Joey Rachel thing. Thanks for reminding me of this gem.)
I’m so glad Ross and Rachel are being called out for being an awful couple and that Chandler and Monica have emerged as the true iconic couple from the show. The more we praise Monica and Chandler and call out Ross and Rachel, the more people can start writing more relationships that are healthy onscreen.
I also like this moment when they're organising the wedding and are fighting about Chandler's money he doesn't want to use for it, and when he says he wanted to keep it for buying a house for their kids and everything... And Monica thinks about it to finally say "I don't want a wedding. I want a marriage". It's not just about ONE day that's supposed to be "special", it's about building a relationship and spend your life with someone.
This is what I said over and over to my partner. “I don’t want a wedding, I want a marriage.” People are so trained by the wedding industry to spend so much money (even go into debt) just for a big lavish wedding, but it’s literally only 24 hours and then it’s gone. What’s more important is the marriage and having a steady foundation. I’m so glad I just had a really simple ceremony with only our closest relatives (2 people). It was a little nicer than a Vegas wedding but it was basically getting hitched and I wouldn’t have done it any other way.
My favorite Chandler Monica moment is just after the wedding where she opened all the presents and he wound up kissing another woman to recreate the candid photos and they pretty much instantly just agreed they both screwed up and to call it even high fived and let it go. No arguing who did the worse thing or why it was bad just wow we both blew it let's not do it again and get on with being married
I loved the scene when chandler tells monica his fantasy about their life together with children. It shows how far his come in letting go of his baggage about commitment.
this is so true. the running joke with chandler in earlier seasons was that he was scared shitless of those things, and to see him dreaming of those with monica was so touching
There is an episode, I think it's called 'The One with Chandler's work laugh', where M & C's relationship really acts as an example to follow. Chandler laughs at his boss' jokes even though they are terrible and his laugh is weird. Monica catches wind of this at a work party that Chandler got invited to and asks him what's up, he explains and she does it too to make a good impression. It works, so well in fact that the boss and his wife invite them to tennis. Monica, being competitive, refuses to let them win the match while Chandler, anxious about the possible consequences this might have to his job, tries to persuade her to let them win just one round. When that fails, he starts playing bad on purpose. M & C lose and they are invited to their boss' place to eat and drink some coffee at a later time. Monica is furious, not because of the match but because of how different Chandler acts around his boss. She nevertheless says yes to one final coffee at their house. When they get there, Chandler goes through his usual routine. Monica says that this will be it for her hanging around with his boss and his wife. When Chandler says that him laughing at his boss' jokes is not a big deal, Monica says ' I'd rather not hang out with a sniveling work weasel guy when I can be hanging out with my boyfriend who I actually respect'. Chandler is a bit taken aback because this is probably the first time a girl said something like that to him. So when his boss comes back to the table and tells another unfunny joke, Chandler doesn't laugh. When his boss takes offense to that and asks him what's wrong with him, Chandler replies that he simply didn't think the joke was funny. When his boss replies with 'excuse me?', Monica IMMEDIATELY understands what's about to happen and jumps in to 'explain' the joke to Chandler to pull his ass out of the fire she put him in. When Chandler 'understands', M & C start fake laughing together and all is well. Relationship goals right there.
One clip you didn't show was when Monica got all competitive with Phoebe about how often they were having sex. Monica was freaked out about how her relationship with Chandler had "settled down", but Chandler made a really important point. He told her that he'd never made it past the honeymoon phase of a relationship and still wanted to be around the person. I thought that was so sweet, & a great message about wanting a relationship with endurance, not just sex & the feeling of newness.
Chandler and Monica were probably one of the first examples of a healthy, loving couple I saw on TV. So much of TV and our culture feels like it glorifies the drama and these two are such a breath of fresh air. I personally would love to see ya'll cover The Good Place, whether it's just covering Chidi and Eleanor's relationship or the whole core of the show about people's capability to change and get better!
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Chidi and Eleanor are an excellent couple to cover in this series!! And, for that matter, so is Jason and Janet. He knows nothing; she knows everything, neither judges the other for that, they simply love each other. 🥰
I love Chandler and Monica, but I think that some of the best stuff that Friends did with them came after they got married. Their struggle to have a baby is really real and important to a lot of people, and the conversation that Chandler had with the young Surrogate about how much Monica wants a baby really speaks to me and I was hoping you'd include it in this video.
Yes! And I love that they didn't "fix" the conflict by having Monica surprisingly and miraculously get pregnant. I love that adoption was their way of starting a family and that was treated as a real and valid thing, because it's so real to so many of us, and often in movies it's only used as a sort of conflict between characters. Say what you will about Friends but there's a lot in the show that we weren't used to seeing on TV back then, and some things that we're still not seeing much of now!
I actually hated that they made them infertile, and for example, Phoebe was a surrogate for her brother after ivf and they seem to not try all the options that usually people try before adoption.
@@reginap.8571 well, they did consider donor sperm, but came to the conclusion it didn't feel right for them. don't remember if any other options were mentioned, but still it's not like they jumped from TTC to "oh we're infertile, let's adopt then"
You left out one of my favorite scenes/quotes from their relationship. There’s an episode where Monica is struggling with the fact that people perceive her as high maintenance. But when she asks Chandler for support, he doesn’t tell her that she’s not high maintenance. He admits that she is but says that it’s ok because he likes maintaining her. And I think that’s what makes a good relationship. He doesn’t lie for her. But he does accept and embrace her even with her “flaws.”
One of my best friends and I both "see" Chandler in our husbands and both sometimes feel like we're too much for people. We've discussed at length about how we adore that scene because we feel like our respective husbands do that for us and have the same attitude, to the point where we quote the line to each other all the time.
The next couple that needs to be therapized is Jess and Nick from New girl. They had one of the healthiest friendships/relationships that I have seen on television.
Friendship yes, relationship..ehhh maybe not at first but once they broke up and got back together after growing THEN they became healthy relationship.
I would love to see you react to more of Monica and Chandler. Their communication skills when problem solving or support while dealing with infertility issues.
If you watch the early seasons, Chandler is very comfortable and even affectionate with Monica, probably because he's known her the longest as his best friend's sister. They would be in the café and her legs would be draped over his or his arm would be around her shoulders. Chandler was always able to respect his friendship with all the girls and be affectionate without being sexual.
I really like that bit about keeping both eyes open while dating but when you choose them, keep your eyes half closed & focus on the positives. That’s a nice way to put it.
Friends needed Ross and Rachel. Their relationship was high drama and kept people guessing. Monica and Chandler is a healthy relationship. Unfortunately it is hard (not impossible) to create drama out of this.
@@The482075 Definitely. I mean early Ross and Rachel was great and then for a while the bickering was funny too, but the whole thing just dragged on way too long for my taste. Monica and Chandler however were cute and funny their whole run.
I preferred the Mondler storylines. They were of a couple working through life's issues together. I generally prefer shows where the cast band together to face any obstacles, rather than watching them bicker amongst themselves.
Hot Take: At some point in the series, the writers tried to make Rachel and Joey a thing, and I think the only reason they decided to ruin that is because the series already had a friends-to-lovers situation and the fans wanted Ross and Rachel, but realistically, though they might've not been perfect for each other the way Monica and Chandler are, Joey was a WAY better match for Rachel than Ross was. Sidebar: my Fiance's name is Chandler and we were a best friends to FWB to Relationship situation as well. No I am not a chef.
I love joey and Rachel. I felt like he really grew up around Emma and Rachel. I never wanted Ross and Rachel haha. Ross had people that were better suited to him but I also kinda wish that Rachel had gone to follow her dream. Someone who really loves her wouldn't have asked her to stay
I really wanted Joy and Rachel to work out. They were so cute, supportive to each other and accepting each other. I'm still sad they didn't end upp together. And it worries me how many people belived that Ross and Rachel were a perfect couple.
YES THANK YOU!!! I have always thought Joey was much much better for Rachel. I have heard people straight up hate that part of the show and I can only think it's because it's less entertaining than drama and that's all people want to see is fighting. Joey was nothing but respectful to her, (aside from a little aged misogyny, but that wasn't exclusive to him that was the time) and was there for her WAY more than Ross ever was. Ross was a complete abusive tool in my opinion.
As someone struggling with infertility after a lifetime of wanting to get pregnant, what I really respect about Chandler and Monica's relationship is their ability to adapt in the end when things don't work out for them. (Of course they did manage to adopt in Hollywood time. That is, way *way* faster than real life time. But still...) Also Monica was my favourite character. Also, please please please do Fawlty Towers!!
Here's how I ranked the relationships 1. Monica & Chandler 2. Phoebe & Mike 3. Joey & Food 4. Janice & her new husband 5. Every other relation that isn't Ross & Rachel
Rachel and Ross must grow up to love. And it is mistake that they not got together after Emma birth. It was writes little more to show. Rachel and Joey never had chemistry
My husband and I got together in a similar way to them. It took a few (dozen) shots of tequila for me to have the courage to speak up and we ended up spending the night together after being friends for months. He is my best friend and we are going on two years married this year. Chandler and Monica remind me of my hubby and I
This has recently been my favorite relationship because as a grown up I learned how much this relationship is admire-able to me and for me. Sheldon and Amy is another relationship that I admire.
When I was younger I always thought Monica and Chandler were boring and throughly enjoyed the Ross and Rachel passion/will they won’t they. Now that I’m older it’s just so frustrating watching the drama and now find the healthy relationship more endearing and entertaining to watch because life experience and past relationships taught me which one was preferable.
Thank God that FRIENDS depicted these two getting together. It is so nice to see healthy examples of relationships. Do a video on Marshall and Lily from How and Met your Mother and a video with Jake and Amy from Brooklyn 99 next
YES!!! Mondler is such a fantastic couple. They compliment each other. They challenge each other. They bring out the best in each other. They have their up's and down's, but at the end of the day, they just love each other and want it to work
Can you do cinema therapy perks of being a wallflower? There is so much i would love to hear you and Alans take on with that movie, especially the trauma pschycology stuff
As a child of parents who have been friends since they were student. I can tell you how good it is. Because they are in same group so there's no jealous or hating each other's friends. They also went to college reunion together every years. I wish I'll have this kind of relationship.😊
I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to get your take on Hal and Lois from Malcolm in the Middle. They have become one of my most favorite couples in life and I would be curious to see how you saw them.
It is interesting to me how the most toxic yet famous relationship on the show is Rachel and Ross but the most healthy one is not everyone's first choice when talking about relationships in Friends means.
my favorite relationship is phoebe and joey. their friendship is so pure and kind and yes they enjoy the occasional flirt but there's no romantic attraction they're a mix between brother/sister and chandler and monica😊
The One Where Everybody Knows is definitely the most epic episode ever! Chandler & Monica definitely cultivated a desire for friendships that turn into romance. Love that they show friendship romances is possible and beautiful. Ross & Rachel are sadly the more toxic ones. I don’t believe it was fair for Rachel to give up her career path she was set on. A compromise that honored her new path could have been made if Ross was open to it. Love these therapist takes on these tv show couples! 🥰💜🌈
This was always my favourite relationship on friends. I grew up watching friends with my mum and Chandler & Monica were the first healthy relationship I ever saw in my life and I couldn’t have asked for a better gold standard to set the example for me considering the relationship between my mum & step dad ended with a lot of toxicity. Now for my Friends relationship tier list… 1. Chandler & Monica 2. Phoebe & Mike 3. Ross & Rachel
I've seen a few of these analysis of Monica and Chandler, and one thing no one ever goes into is their lives AFTER they get married, how they still love and support each other and how they cope with everyday struggles, especially Monica's inability to conceive. There is a scene no one ever goes into, where after Chandler realizes they may have lost their chance to adopt a baby from a pregnant woman, he goes to talk to her and tells her how wonderful Monica is and what a great mother she would be. I mean, how many women would like their husbands to talk to someone about them like that?
As an Aromantic person, I love my partner as a friend above everything. I lvoe him in the same light as I love my friends and chosen family. They are all my family and I could not imagine being in a relationship with some one and not feel a friendship or not have that friend dinamic as chandler and monica have. Its just the most beautiful feeling when you can be who you are feely with someone and have them joke with you, laugh with you and just be your friend through everthing.
One of my favourite things about Chandler and Monica is that they read books and watch shows about relationships. They're constantly putting in the work to make their relationship better. I think that's one of the reasons why they have such a healthy relationship with great communication.
Really good relationship advice. I particularly like the eyes wide open when dating and then half shut when you're married. Now that's how you get a marriage that lasts until death.
These two are still one of my all time favorite tv relationships as they are so good together. They don’t act like he is stupid and she is perfect, but rather they are both imperfect people who not only work well together but also make each other better versions of themselves.
I've done the opposite. I met a guy on an app and we started a casual thing but over time we got to know each other and developed a really strong friendship and now we're just friends.
I would love to see your take on their relationship as they try to have a baby, the friendship between Phoebe and Joey, and the relationship between Phoebe and Mike
Absolutely my favorite TV couple. And they remind me a lot of my husband and I, who were friends first and decided to try this whole relationship thing out. Turned out to be a great fit for both of us. There was a tiny bit of alcohol involved in our first date as well, but that mostly broke the ice on what we’d been wanting to do anyway. He’s my best friend, the best friend I’ve ever had.
My husband and I always say that we are each other's favorite. He is my favorite person, my best friend, my love. And I am his. Almost 9 years together and nearly 7.5 married. I like Chandler and Monica for many of the reasons you discuss here.
I think what's important here is that these characters were self-aware...they didn't need to be perfect, but self awareness is what makes us reflect about how we can do better with ourselves and in relationships...and this counts for friendships as well!
Hello! Jonathan! I was wondering when you were gonna do another Euphoria video, I am specifically asking about Rue and her family. How do we help family members who are abusing substances? What is a healthy way to rebuild a relationship with them if they do recover? Thank you if you read this comment!
Hey! I stumbled on this video and the very start "ahem...Ross&Rachel" hooked me up. I always tell my husband that I'd any day be Chandler Monica....accepting our flaws, brushing past the negativity, be each other's power tools, support system and above all, BEST FRIENDS" Something which we don't see in most relationships these days.
I was hanging out with a close friend 3 years ago and he asked me if he could kiss me. Now we are living together and discussing how to build a life together. It's that quote from Jono, decide don't slide which really got me reminiscing about that time as I was asked a question by someone who I was friends with for a long time and that decision to say yes was the best I decision I ever made
The thing I love is seeing how it helps these two characters grow so much as people way more than they ever did before they got together. Chandlers way of dealing with anything was inappropriate humour and suppressing his feelings. With Monica we see him actually opening up and being serious and finally being able to talk things through. He still also responded to a lot of things with jokes but Monica met his humour with her own and didn’t make him feel bad for what is basically a trauma response. To quote the kids she was able to “match his freak”. Monica herself struggled with sometimes being too rigid or strict but with chandler she was always so lighthearted and giggly. I also love the buildup, several season of being great friends and then a few years of dating and wanting to keep their relationship on the down low at first to avoid drama. Ross and Rachel were the opposite in that everything was explosive and passionate and quick and hasty, they ran headfirst into everything and crashed and burned later. I think Monica and chandler learnt from that and took things at a much steadier pace
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One that would be great to see is Ben and Leslie from Parks and Recreation. They start off a bit as rivals, but eventually become friends and then start dating. They have a very healthy relationship so I think it would be great to see that one explored.
I'd totally be down for a Part 2 of Chandler and Monica focusing on their marriage and how they handled issues - Deciding to have kids, Chandler getting a new job and making a long-distance relationship work, tackling infertility and finally adoption.
Monica and Chandler were and still are my favorite couple on friends. They really built a foundation and a trust that I really admire and love. They really represent a vibes view of love and honesty in a relationship. They're great together, and I loved watching them evolve into their own way of making each other grow and learn.
The scene where Monica proposes to Chandler is so sweet and I got a little teary-eyed. It is lovely how Monica and Chandler portray a healthy couple. It can take into your late 20s to find your person and it can even be someone you went to school with who maybe wasn't in the same circles. It can take years to build trust through a deep connection, not just sex, and I have got to admit I fell in love with my best friend too
I love Chandler and Monica's relationship. I never understand why there are people who don't like it. In fact, when I rewatch Friends, it always feels so weird to me when they are not together. I'm just waiting with anticipation for them to finally get together. I could not care less about Ross and Rachel.
Loved this one. Got a question: you said "sex does change things". We all (speaking from our sociocultural pov) know that that's true. But which are the mechanisms, apart from the social ones, that make it that way? Meaning psychological processes, etc. Thanks for your awesome work!
I LOVE this. As a teen I rooted for and loved Ross and Rachel. As a 35 year old I rematched it and realized I did not understand why I rooted for Ross and Rachel. There wasn’t much about their relationship I liked or admired as an adult. However, I did notice Monica and Chandler on a level I didn’t recall (sidenote: I first watched Friends when I was 15). I was absolutely in love with their relationship as an adult. Just goes to show, teens aren’t all that bright (or maybe that was just me).
My husband and I were best friends for 10 years prior. I felt this intense love and protection for his daughter actually at first that I knew her whole life, celebrated with him and the whole nine. In that, I developed feelings for him, too, not thinking it would go anywhere. I made it clear that I started to have feelings for him and if he didn't reciprocate, that was fine, but I'll always be his best friend and I will always be there for him and his daughter. Turns out the feelings were indeed reciprocated and the rest is history. We came this power couple that my bonus daughters therapist loves since it's so easy to communicate and get on the same page with us and we were always very clear about what we wanted and when we wanted it, with room for wiggle room because life isn't perfect.
Right from the start when Friends first came out, I never understood why everyone was rooting for Ross and Rachel. I never saw them together then, and I don't see them together now. They weren't good for each other and they weren't mutually supportive. It made me so mad when Rachel gave up that great opportunity in Paris in order to stay in New York with Ross, who only tried to thwart her going instead of encouraging her to follow her dreams. Whereas with Candler and Monica, they worked really well together, in my humble opinion. Yes, they were both flawed - I mean, who isn't? - and they both had their quirks or whatever you want to call it, but they were a good fit for each other and helped to balance each other out. They supported each other and didn't have the on-again-off-again-on-again-off-again.... thing that Ross and Rachel did. Of course they weren't a perfect couple, but then what couple is? Still, they just worked, in my humble opinion, whereas Ross and Rachel never really did fit together well. Just my humble opinion. :)
I personally can't stand watching Friends because so much screentime is spent with Ross and Rachel 😂 Chandler and Monica feel like the only breather we can get. Their relationship is based on friendship and trust. It's beautiful.
Because of their foundation as friends to each other, they were able to be honest so that they were looking out for each other, thus helping them grow together and individually. Both had major insecurities for various reasons, and they were able to over come it because of the bond they had to heal their traumas. Their romance taught them to respect and love themselves while giving their heart to their best friend because trust was helping them bond closer.
A dynamic I wish there could be looked into here, is the relationship between the characters Buck and Eddie from 9-1-1 (on Fox). It is an extremely interesting and deeply profound one, and I thought it could be fun to see what a therapist may say about them, even if they aren't exactly a couple (yet at least), but they still share such a strong bond, and are even co-parenting a kid.
A friend of mine, whom I see becoming a very close one in the future, once told me something that sticks with me whenever I start comparing myself, as I have a habit of doing. I was upset because I couldn't motivate myself to do an assignment for a uni class and I was stressed about other things and felt like I wasn't "adulting" as well as everyone else because of it. Instead of saying "No you're doing great, don't be stressed" or "Everyone has their own struggles" he said "Yeah, (my full name), the girl who wants to be like everyone else. Sounds like news to me" It was a different perspective of being different, and that it's not always good things that make you different, but he acknowledged me as a unique person still. It gave me motivation to do it, not to be like everyone else, but to be a better version of myself. And yes, in case you were wondering, I do have a little more than a crush on him.
I never thought that Monica and Chandler could be thought of as healthy, but it does make sense. I would LOVE it if you reacted to BBC's Merlin. Its a 5 season show and it has great characters! A sitcom would be House. It has slightly worse relationships than Twilight
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I follow yours and Alan's "Cinema Therapy" channel, I wasn't aware you had your own. I really like it and am glad it was recommended to me in the algorithm lol.
Same I watch both of their things telekinesis, mended light and cinema therapy 😊😊
@@Loveu-re5me thank you! So happy you have found all our channels!
@@RedRoseSeptember22 so glad you found us here!
Please do Marshall and Lily. I don't consider them totally healthy. Some of their love feels possessive at times.
In stark contrast to Ross and Rachel, who were spoiled by their parents, Monica and Chandler were more or less ignored by theirs. This explains why their relationship was extremely precious to them, and they worked harder to maintain it.
Huh. Never thought of it, but that's very true.
That and Ross never really changes throughout the series. Chandler does grow a bit.
You mean as a spoiled girl i will never have a healthy relationship ?
that makes sense
Ross’ insecurity and jealousy Thru out the series IRKSSS me to my core 😂
Ross and Rachel were an example of an unpredictable, yet toxic couple.
Joey and Phoebe were the perfect depiction of a platonic Guy/Girl friendship.
Monica and Chandler were the best representation of a loving, caring couple, where each partner supports each other mutually.
Idk man, I like monica and chandler, but at some points it felt like she was waaaay too controlling.
It definitely doesn't go like big bang theory relationships since they did have several moments to shine, but there were definitely red flags for me
@@enkiimuto1041 She was fine for him.
@@enkiimuto1041 Yeah she could be controlling but it was because of her OCPD. She literally couldn't help it.
And the cool thing Chandler knew that and often let her think she's in control while leading her to a mutual compromise.
@@ΑΡΙΣΤΟΤΕΛΗΣΛΑΧΑΝΟΠΟΥΛΟΣ "I like maintaining you" ❤️
@@enkiimuto1041 I think the big picture is she is willing to make compromise for him, in spite of her nature. She will prioritize his needs because she loves him and he does the same for her. Even when they have strife, it always leads to accountability and compromise. They both also accept influence from each other and this allows them to grow together. They are both human and this inevitably leads to both making mistakes, its what they do about those mistakes that make up the difference. Unlike Ross who would probably marry Rachel and STILL write "we were on a break" on his tomb stone if he could.
Awe I really wish you had done the scene where Monica feels sad because someone called her high maintenance and Chandler very sweetly states that he loves maintaining her. I always loved that it wasn't just "No you're not honey don't worry!" I loved that he recognized and was honest that she had some traits that others could see that way, some flaws, but he didn't see them that way and loved that part of her because it gave him more ways to love her.
It also shows one of his love languages. Lucky, lol.
Or the scene where Chandler has the table-tennis match with Mark.
After watching Monica and Mark play for three hours back-and-forth that's going nowhere he lets some steam out on the usual Chanlder like way while Monica answers with "You knew this when you married me!" about her competitive nature. Then Chandler just backs down and just accepts; "guess we're doing this then..."
Then she hurts her hand and instead of walking away with Monica losing due not being able to play he jumps in like a giga-chad with "Now, I might not be able to understand why you have to win so badly, but if it's important to you, then it's important to me. Because I love you"
And then he outright CRUSHES Mark in a mere seconds.
And then what follows is him confessing that he never sucked at it, he just didn't want to reveal how good he was.
"Whyyyy?" "I dunno..."
"This is SO GREAT now we can enter into doubles tournaments!" "That's why."
And what follows is Monica actually backs down after it, not pushing it further.
Yeah, it's a three minute scene played for laugh and jokes more than anything, but it pretty much sums up why these two are such a great couple in the show.
They both have their issues and on a majority of way they're opposites, but they both are willing to compromise for the sake of the other.
That’s literally my fave mondler scene 🥺
Indeed! I've seen this show so much, but your comment made me tear up. sniff.
@@TheZintastic Do you mean Mike?
I disagree a little with “they slipped into bed”. When Monica first kissed Chandler, he specifically stopped her and asked “how drunk are you?” The answer? “Drunk enough that I know I want to do this, not so drunk that you should feel like you’re taking advantage.”
As Chandler responded, “That’s the perfect amount.” 😉😂
the one with the story about london or what is it i forgot
@@qorin7914 It's the one where their in London for Ross and Emily's wedding.
Established consent, we love to see it!
@@JekyViews Consent is sexy!
Yeah, and I also think that "talking about feelings" just wasn't fit for their specific situation in the series. They didn't grow to be attracted for each other through time, it was truly a spur-of-the-moment thing, where Monica felt a sudden realization that Chandler could be attractive to her and value her. So, had they stopped to discuss it, it wouldn't really fit. It was a drunken decision that payed out, and their comedic tone throughout the whole thing kind of needed it to happen that way, to really kickstart their relationship.
The writers actually meant to have the scene in London as a fling, a one-off thing in Chandler-Monica story.
It was the audience's minute long applause that set the deal and made them realize that it should be permanent.
Looking back at all Chandler’s comments about the two of them getting together, I always think it’s wild that the writers A) didn’t plan on making it happen and B) didn’t expect people to love it so much. It’s like they’d been planting the seeds subconsciously the whole time!
@@RoseForEverafter Even more ironic that the relationship they planned (Ross & Rachel) ended up being so toxic but the one that wasn't planned (Chandler & Monica) became arguably the healthiest relationship in sitcom history.
@@arcyarcanine I guess they banked on the planned relationship to carry the show with drama and 'awws' and the unplanned one didn't have that kind of pressure
@@RoseForEverafter like accidentally using the wrong fertiliser but somehow getting a higher yield
@@rexsforest8253 As someone having a difficult time with some of my plants right now, I loved this comment so much.
Been hoping for this relationship to be covered.
When Chandler assumes they will have to break up and Monica assures him that it was a fight and they can deal with it and move on, that is when I realized what the writers were doing with them.
Chandlers anxious attachment style coming through.
@@Meg_intheclouds Yeah but it kind of works, in a weird way. I think he looses that when Monica ensures that he doesnt need to be like that. Thats something that a lot of people dont talk about: sure you can be anxiously attached, but a lot of partners will exasterbate and even toy with that attachment to fuel their ego and it will only make the anxious person look worse over time. In a truly healthy relationship, I believe its ok to be anxiously attached as long as the other lets them know they dont need to be. Im no therapist thats just my 2 cents.
One of my favorite Monica/ Chandler relationship episodes is when the gang meets this male chef who has everything in common with Monica. Every preference, every opinion, every like or dislike. Everyone keeps calling him Monica’s soulmate and it makes Chandler insecure. Finally he confesses his vulnerability to her, how maybe she’s meant to be with that guy, how that guy might be her soulmate. And Monica says she doesn’t actually believe in soulmates, or fate, or finding someone. But choosing someone and putting in the work. That by choosing each other they have become soulmates. I really loved her point of view for being more realistic but still romantic. I think it was after that ep they started using the phrase soulmates more often. ❤️
I don't remember that episode at all, which was it?
@@fantasyfiction101 I had to Google it to answer you 😂 It’s “the one where Joey tells Rachel” His name is Don and it’s a B plot line. I haven’t actually seen it since it first came out so 20 years? 😂😂😂 But like I said, it stayed with me 🤷♀️
@@Ykoz2016 Yup, that is the episode and I just saw it on HBO Max and also own the DVD Box Set. Phoebe was the one that was doing the poking fun at Chandler again by gloating that Don was her perfect soulmate. Then she tells Chandler that she will find him another one. But glad Monica told Chandler straight up that she didn't want him and didn't believe in the soulmates stuff, she just loves Chandler and enjoys being married to him.
Aww that's my favorite one too!!! I love it and 100% agree with you. It is realistic and romantic. They were always my favorite couple more so than Ross and Rachel.
S8E16 The One Where Joey Tells Rachel (I really admire Monica’s take on relationships. She really brought out the best in Chandler. I mostly skip season 8 bec of the whole Joey Rachel thing. Thanks for reminding me of this gem.)
I’m so glad Ross and Rachel are being called out for being an awful couple and that Chandler and Monica have emerged as the true iconic couple from the show.
The more we praise Monica and Chandler and call out Ross and Rachel, the more people can start writing more relationships that are healthy onscreen.
Exactly!!
I also like this moment when they're organising the wedding and are fighting about Chandler's money he doesn't want to use for it, and when he says he wanted to keep it for buying a house for their kids and everything... And Monica thinks about it to finally say "I don't want a wedding. I want a marriage". It's not just about ONE day that's supposed to be "special", it's about building a relationship and spend your life with someone.
I wish more people understood this.
This is what I said over and over to my partner. “I don’t want a wedding, I want a marriage.” People are so trained by the wedding industry to spend so much money (even go into debt) just for a big lavish wedding, but it’s literally only 24 hours and then it’s gone. What’s more important is the marriage and having a steady foundation. I’m so glad I just had a really simple ceremony with only our closest relatives (2 people). It was a little nicer than a Vegas wedding but it was basically getting hitched and I wouldn’t have done it any other way.
My favorite Chandler Monica moment is just after the wedding where she opened all the presents and he wound up kissing another woman to recreate the candid photos and they pretty much instantly just agreed they both screwed up and to call it even high fived and let it go. No arguing who did the worse thing or why it was bad just wow we both blew it let's not do it again and get on with being married
Yes, that was beautiful!!! "Call it even?" "Okay" **high fives** 🤗
if that had been Ross and Rachel... oh boy
In a series with so many "big" moments, this little one is my favourite.
@@lilyblue3205 oh god it would have been world war three between those two 🤣😬
I loved the scene when chandler tells monica his fantasy about their life together with children. It shows how far his come in letting go of his baggage about commitment.
this is so true. the running joke with chandler in earlier seasons was that he was scared shitless of those things, and to see him dreaming of those with monica was so touching
There is an episode, I think it's called 'The One with Chandler's work laugh', where M & C's relationship really acts as an example to follow. Chandler laughs at his boss' jokes even though they are terrible and his laugh is weird. Monica catches wind of this at a work party that Chandler got invited to and asks him what's up, he explains and she does it too to make a good impression. It works, so well in fact that the boss and his wife invite them to tennis.
Monica, being competitive, refuses to let them win the match while Chandler, anxious about the possible consequences this might have to his job, tries to persuade her to let them win just one round. When that fails, he starts playing bad on purpose. M & C lose and they are invited to their boss' place to eat and drink some coffee at a later time.
Monica is furious, not because of the match but because of how different Chandler acts around his boss. She nevertheless says yes to one final coffee at their house.
When they get there, Chandler goes through his usual routine. Monica says that this will be it for her hanging around with his boss and his wife. When Chandler says that him laughing at his boss' jokes is not a big deal, Monica says ' I'd rather not hang out with a sniveling work weasel guy when I can be hanging out with my boyfriend who I actually respect'.
Chandler is a bit taken aback because this is probably the first time a girl said something like that to him.
So when his boss comes back to the table and tells another unfunny joke, Chandler doesn't laugh. When his boss takes offense to that and asks him what's wrong with him, Chandler replies that he simply didn't think the joke was funny. When his boss replies with 'excuse me?', Monica IMMEDIATELY understands what's about to happen and jumps in to 'explain' the joke to Chandler to pull his ass out of the fire she put him in. When Chandler 'understands', M & C start fake laughing together and all is well.
Relationship goals right there.
One clip you didn't show was when Monica got all competitive with Phoebe about how often they were having sex. Monica was freaked out about how her relationship with Chandler had "settled down", but Chandler made a really important point. He told her that he'd never made it past the honeymoon phase of a relationship and still wanted to be around the person. I thought that was so sweet, & a great message about wanting a relationship with endurance, not just sex & the feeling of newness.
Chandler and Monica were probably one of the first examples of a healthy, loving couple I saw on TV. So much of TV and our culture feels like it glorifies the drama and these two are such a breath of fresh air.
I personally would love to see ya'll cover The Good Place, whether it's just covering Chidi and Eleanor's relationship or the whole core of the show about people's capability to change and get better!
Seconding The Good Place!
Omg yes!! I commented the same thing about the good place. That show needs so much more attention
Very much would love to see that video!
I adore that relationship.
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Chidi and Eleanor are an excellent couple to cover in this series!! And, for that matter, so is Jason and Janet. He knows nothing; she knows everything, neither judges the other for that, they simply love each other. 🥰
I love Chandler and Monica, but I think that some of the best stuff that Friends did with them came after they got married. Their struggle to have a baby is really real and important to a lot of people, and the conversation that Chandler had with the young Surrogate about how much Monica wants a baby really speaks to me and I was hoping you'd include it in this video.
Yes! And I love that they didn't "fix" the conflict by having Monica surprisingly and miraculously get pregnant. I love that adoption was their way of starting a family and that was treated as a real and valid thing, because it's so real to so many of us, and often in movies it's only used as a sort of conflict between characters. Say what you will about Friends but there's a lot in the show that we weren't used to seeing on TV back then, and some things that we're still not seeing much of now!
yea the she's already there, she's a mother without a baby really got me in the feels ❤
I actually hated that they made them infertile, and for example, Phoebe was a surrogate for her brother after ivf and they seem to not try all the options that usually people try before adoption.
@@reginap.8571 Late 90s-early 2000s. No where near as many options back then as you might think.
@@reginap.8571 well, they did consider donor sperm, but came to the conclusion it didn't feel right for them. don't remember if any other options were mentioned, but still it's not like they jumped from TTC to "oh we're infertile, let's adopt then"
You left out one of my favorite scenes/quotes from their relationship. There’s an episode where Monica is struggling with the fact that people perceive her as high maintenance. But when she asks Chandler for support, he doesn’t tell her that she’s not high maintenance. He admits that she is but says that it’s ok because he likes maintaining her. And I think that’s what makes a good relationship. He doesn’t lie for her. But he does accept and embrace her even with her “flaws.”
Omg yes! I always loved that scene for that exact reason too. He’s honest and still supportive and is super sweet about all of it ❤️
"I like... maintaining you" that line always has my heart😭❤
One of my best friends and I both "see" Chandler in our husbands and both sometimes feel like we're too much for people. We've discussed at length about how we adore that scene because we feel like our respective husbands do that for us and have the same attitude, to the point where we quote the line to each other all the time.
That speech Chandler made to Erica when he was trying to convince her to let them have the babies will always stick with me.
The next couple that needs to be therapized is Jess and Nick from New girl. They had one of the healthiest friendships/relationships that I have seen on television.
YES!
Yesssss please!
Friendship yes, relationship..ehhh maybe not at first but once they broke up and got back together after growing THEN they became healthy relationship.
I wish he’d analyse all the friendships in new girl! Best bromances on tv
I want him to do Schmidt and Cece because of how toxic of a shitshow they are.
I would love to see you react to more of Monica and Chandler. Their communication skills when problem solving or support while dealing with infertility issues.
Yes! Their infertility story breaks me ever time. So relatable in a way that is rarely shown on TV.
@@tj86463 Ironically, Courtney Cox was pregnant during the last season.
@@julietardos5044 But she did have fertility issues. She had miscarriages before having Coco.
If you watch the early seasons, Chandler is very comfortable and even affectionate with Monica, probably because he's known her the longest as his best friend's sister. They would be in the café and her legs would be draped over his or his arm would be around her shoulders. Chandler was always able to respect his friendship with all the girls and be affectionate without being sexual.
I'm really glad an actual therapist validated my thoughts of Chandler and Monica being a pretty healthy relationship for a sitcom.
I really like that bit about keeping both eyes open while dating but when you choose them, keep your eyes half closed & focus on the positives. That’s a nice way to put it.
Whatever hangups people have about Friends, Chandler and Monicas proposal scene is probably my favourite proposal scene on film, I love it!
My favorite is Michael and Holly's engagement.
Same! I love that they're both kinda proposing to each other.
Friends needed Ross and Rachel. Their relationship was high drama and kept people guessing. Monica and Chandler is a healthy relationship. Unfortunately it is hard (not impossible) to create drama out of this.
I was tired of that drama like a season after they broke up though.
@@Evija3000 Is Chandler and Monica more your thing?
@@The482075 Definitely. I mean early Ross and Rachel was great and then for a while the bickering was funny too, but the whole thing just dragged on way too long for my taste. Monica and Chandler however were cute and funny their whole run.
@@Evija3000 Monica and Chandler are wholesome. That's for sure.
I preferred the Mondler storylines. They were of a couple working through life's issues together. I generally prefer shows where the cast band together to face any obstacles, rather than watching them bicker amongst themselves.
Hot Take: At some point in the series, the writers tried to make Rachel and Joey a thing, and I think the only reason they decided to ruin that is because the series already had a friends-to-lovers situation and the fans wanted Ross and Rachel, but realistically, though they might've not been perfect for each other the way Monica and Chandler are, Joey was a WAY better match for Rachel than Ross was. Sidebar: my Fiance's name is Chandler and we were a best friends to FWB to Relationship situation as well. No I am not a chef.
I love joey and Rachel. I felt like he really grew up around Emma and Rachel. I never wanted Ross and Rachel haha. Ross had people that were better suited to him but I also kinda wish that Rachel had gone to follow her dream. Someone who really loves her wouldn't have asked her to stay
I don't know, Ross and Rachel were equally bad people so in a way they kinda deserved each other.
I really wanted Joy and Rachel to work out. They were so cute, supportive to each other and accepting each other. I'm still sad they didn't end upp together. And it worries me how many people belived that Ross and Rachel were a perfect couple.
YES THANK YOU!!! I have always thought Joey was much much better for Rachel. I have heard people straight up hate that part of the show and I can only think it's because it's less entertaining than drama and that's all people want to see is fighting. Joey was nothing but respectful to her, (aside from a little aged misogyny, but that wasn't exclusive to him that was the time) and was there for her WAY more than Ross ever was. Ross was a complete abusive tool in my opinion.
Joey went above and beyond for Rachel her whole pregnancy while Ross was off doing god knows what
As someone struggling with infertility after a lifetime of wanting to get pregnant, what I really respect about Chandler and Monica's relationship is their ability to adapt in the end when things don't work out for them. (Of course they did manage to adopt in Hollywood time. That is, way *way* faster than real life time. But still...) Also Monica was my favourite character.
Also, please please please do Fawlty Towers!!
OMG Fawlty Towers!!!!! Although we might need more than 1 video for that. 😂
@@alyzu4755 LOL :-)
Fawlty Towers is awesome!
"TWINS.....TWINS!" "Chandler you're panicking!" "UH HUH! JOIN ME WON'T YOU?" lmaoooo one of the funniest lines in the show
I love how this is less "therapized Chandler and Monica" and more "therapists admires Chandler and Monica".
Here's how I ranked the relationships
1. Monica & Chandler
2. Phoebe & Mike
3. Joey & Food
4. Janice & her new husband
5. Every other relation that isn't Ross & Rachel
I agree 😂😂😂
Rachel and Ross must grow up to love. And it is mistake that they not got together after Emma birth. It was writes little more to show. Rachel and Joey never had chemistry
I loved Phoebe and David the scientist (but who could compete with Paul Rudd😅)
Honestly it’s every relationship that doesn’t involve Ross, when you look at the other dumpster fire romances in the show he’s the common denominator
"you make me happier than I ever thought I could be and, if you let me, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same"
My husband and I got together in a similar way to them. It took a few (dozen) shots of tequila for me to have the courage to speak up and we ended up spending the night together after being friends for months. He is my best friend and we are going on two years married this year. Chandler and Monica remind me of my hubby and I
This has recently been my favorite relationship because as a grown up I learned how much this relationship is admire-able to me and for me. Sheldon and Amy is another relationship that I admire.
When I was younger I always thought Monica and Chandler were boring and throughly enjoyed the Ross and Rachel passion/will they won’t they. Now that I’m older it’s just so frustrating watching the drama and now find the healthy relationship more endearing and entertaining to watch because life experience and past relationships taught me which one was preferable.
Thank God that FRIENDS depicted these two getting together. It is so nice to see healthy examples of relationships. Do a video on Marshall and Lily from How and Met your Mother and a video with Jake and Amy from Brooklyn 99 next
Lily was horrible to Marshall, he deserved better.
Monica and Chandler's proposal makes me cry every time. The acting is just incredible
Monica and Chandler have always been my 'comfort couple'. It certainly affected how I wanted my relationships to be when I was a kid
YES!!! Mondler is such a fantastic couple. They compliment each other. They challenge each other. They bring out the best in each other. They have their up's and down's, but at the end of the day, they just love each other and want it to work
Can you do cinema therapy perks of being a wallflower? There is so much i would love to hear you and Alans take on with that movie, especially the trauma pschycology stuff
That book hit me hard
As a child of parents who have been friends since they were student. I can tell you how good it is. Because they are in same group so there's no jealous or hating each other's friends. They also went to college reunion together every years. I wish I'll have this kind of relationship.😊
I loved Joey and Rachel he was so sweet to her and had such a great sense of humor.
I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to get your take on Hal and Lois from Malcolm in the Middle. They have become one of my most favorite couples in life and I would be curious to see how you saw them.
It is interesting to me how the most toxic yet famous relationship on the show is Rachel and Ross but the most healthy one is not everyone's first choice when talking about relationships in Friends means.
my favorite relationship is phoebe and joey. their friendship is so pure and kind and yes they enjoy the occasional flirt but there's no romantic attraction they're a mix between brother/sister and chandler and monica😊
The One Where Everybody Knows is definitely the most epic episode ever!
Chandler & Monica definitely cultivated a desire for friendships that turn into romance. Love that they show friendship romances is possible and beautiful. Ross & Rachel are sadly the more toxic ones. I don’t believe it was fair for Rachel to give up her career path she was set on. A compromise that honored her new path could have been made if Ross was open to it.
Love these therapist takes on these tv show couples! 🥰💜🌈
This was always my favourite relationship on friends. I grew up watching friends with my mum and Chandler & Monica were the first healthy relationship I ever saw in my life and I couldn’t have asked for a better gold standard to set the example for me considering the relationship between my mum & step dad ended with a lot of toxicity.
Now for my Friends relationship tier list…
1. Chandler & Monica
2. Phoebe & Mike
3. Ross & Rachel
I've seen a few of these analysis of Monica and Chandler, and one thing no one ever goes into is their lives AFTER they get married, how they still love and support each other and how they cope with everyday struggles, especially Monica's inability to conceive. There is a scene no one ever goes into, where after Chandler realizes they may have lost their chance to adopt a baby from a pregnant woman, he goes to talk to her and tells her how wonderful Monica is and what a great mother she would be. I mean, how many women would like their husbands to talk to someone about them like that?
I wish you had included the scene where Chandler tell's Monica that she is high maintenance but he likes maintaining her.
As an Aromantic person, I love my partner as a friend above everything. I lvoe him in the same light as I love my friends and chosen family. They are all my family and I could not imagine being in a relationship with some one and not feel a friendship or not have that friend dinamic as chandler and monica have. Its just the most beautiful feeling when you can be who you are feely with someone and have them joke with you, laugh with you and just be your friend through everthing.
One of my favourite things about Chandler and Monica is that they read books and watch shows about relationships. They're constantly putting in the work to make their relationship better. I think that's one of the reasons why they have such a healthy relationship with great communication.
I once watched Friends all the way through on Netflix skipping only to the Chandler/Monica scenes, and it was brilliant.
Not a classic but a new show, Nick and Charlie in Heartstopper!
Top 5 Healthiest relationships I saw series:
1 leslie & ben ( parks&recreation)
2 charlie & nick (heartstopper)
3 jake & amy (brooklyn 99)
4 eleanor & chidi ( the good place)
5 monica & chandler (friends)
Jack and Amy? You mean Jake?
@@slimeb0y_ yeah sorry I wrote too fast XD.
This channel honestly helped with getting better perspective.
One of my favorite fictional couples. Real goals there.
New Girl! - Nick & Jess and Cece & Schmidt
Really good relationship advice. I particularly like the eyes wide open when dating and then half shut when you're married. Now that's how you get a marriage that lasts until death.
These two are still one of my all time favorite tv relationships as they are so good together. They don’t act like he is stupid and she is perfect, but rather they are both imperfect people who not only work well together but also make each other better versions of themselves.
i feel like you would have a great time going through the relationships in the good place, especially chidi and eleanor
I've done the opposite. I met a guy on an app and we started a casual thing but over time we got to know each other and developed a really strong friendship and now we're just friends.
I would love to see you talk about the relationships of The Good Place please
I would love to see your take on their relationship as they try to have a baby, the friendship between Phoebe and Joey, and the relationship between Phoebe and Mike
Ross and Rachel are terrible together. Chandler and Monica are largely stable and healthy, if exaggerated for comedic purposes from time to time.
Absolutely my favorite TV couple. And they remind me a lot of my husband and I, who were friends first and decided to try this whole relationship thing out. Turned out to be a great fit for both of us. There was a tiny bit of alcohol involved in our first date as well, but that mostly broke the ice on what we’d been wanting to do anyway. He’s my best friend, the best friend I’ve ever had.
All my relationships started with friendship. I don't understand how people jump into sex and relationships with someone they met a few days ago...
I literally exclaimed “YEAHHHH!!” as soon as I saw the notification
My fave has always been Phoebe and Mike. He accepted her for who she was and never asked her to change, defending her to his family even.
Monica and Chandler are my favorite couple on the show!
My husband and I always say that we are each other's favorite. He is my favorite person, my best friend, my love. And I am his. Almost 9 years together and nearly 7.5 married. I like Chandler and Monica for many of the reasons you discuss here.
I think what's important here is that these characters were self-aware...they didn't need to be perfect, but self awareness is what makes us reflect about how we can do better with ourselves and in relationships...and this counts for friendships as well!
Hello! Jonathan! I was wondering when you were gonna do another Euphoria video, I am specifically asking about Rue and her family. How do we help family members who are abusing substances? What is a healthy way to rebuild a relationship with them if they do recover? Thank you if you read this comment!
Hey! I stumbled on this video and the very start "ahem...Ross&Rachel" hooked me up. I always tell my husband that I'd any day be Chandler Monica....accepting our flaws, brushing past the negativity, be each other's power tools, support system and above all, BEST FRIENDS" Something which we don't see in most relationships these days.
This relationship was so perfectly well written
I would have loved to hear your thoughts on their relationship after the wedding. There are some really sweet moments there!
I was hanging out with a close friend 3 years ago and he asked me if he could kiss me. Now we are living together and discussing how to build a life together. It's that quote from Jono, decide don't slide which really got me reminiscing about that time as I was asked a question by someone who I was friends with for a long time and that decision to say yes was the best I decision I ever made
The thing I love is seeing how it helps these two characters grow so much as people way more than they ever did before they got together. Chandlers way of dealing with anything was inappropriate humour and suppressing his feelings. With Monica we see him actually opening up and being serious and finally being able to talk things through. He still also responded to a lot of things with jokes but Monica met his humour with her own and didn’t make him feel bad for what is basically a trauma response. To quote the kids she was able to “match his freak”. Monica herself struggled with sometimes being too rigid or strict but with chandler she was always so lighthearted and giggly. I also love the buildup, several season of being great friends and then a few years of dating and wanting to keep their relationship on the down low at first to avoid drama. Ross and Rachel were the opposite in that everything was explosive and passionate and quick and hasty, they ran headfirst into everything and crashed and burned later. I think Monica and chandler learnt from that and took things at a much steadier pace
Chandler and Monica is the clear number one, but number two is the very underrated Phoebe and Mike
I've been using the fabulous app from you, and I can attest that IT WORKS. I've tried a few others and this one is actually making the habits stick. THANK YOU for this (not sponsored I swear 😅)
You're welcome!
One that would be great to see is Ben and Leslie from Parks and Recreation. They start off a bit as rivals, but eventually become friends and then start dating. They have a very healthy relationship so I think it would be great to see that one explored.
I'd totally be down for a Part 2 of Chandler and Monica focusing on their marriage and how they handled issues - Deciding to have kids, Chandler getting a new job and making a long-distance relationship work, tackling infertility and finally adoption.
Love your take on things Jonathan 😄 maybe another relationship would be Leonard and Penny or Sheldon and Amy from The Big Bang Theory 😀
Monica and Chandler were and still are my favorite couple on friends. They really built a foundation and a trust that I really admire and love. They really represent a vibes view of love and honesty in a relationship. They're great together, and I loved watching them evolve into their own way of making each other grow and learn.
glad u said Chandler and Monica shared a wonderful and healthy relationship cause I always thought that. I loved Mondler always.
The scene where Monica proposes to Chandler is so sweet and I got a little teary-eyed. It is lovely how Monica and Chandler portray a healthy couple.
It can take into your late 20s to find your person and it can even be someone you went to school with who maybe wasn't in the same circles. It can take years to build trust through a deep connection, not just sex, and I have got to admit I fell in love with my best friend too
I love Chandler and Monica's relationship. I never understand why there are people who don't like it. In fact, when I rewatch Friends, it always feels so weird to me when they are not together. I'm just waiting with anticipation for them to finally get together. I could not care less about Ross and Rachel.
Loved this one. Got a question: you said "sex does change things". We all (speaking from our sociocultural pov) know that that's true. But which are the mechanisms, apart from the social ones, that make it that way? Meaning psychological processes, etc.
Thanks for your awesome work!
I LOVE this. As a teen I rooted for and loved Ross and Rachel. As a 35 year old I rematched it and realized I did not understand why I rooted for Ross and Rachel. There wasn’t much about their relationship I liked or admired as an adult. However, I did notice Monica and Chandler on a level I didn’t recall (sidenote: I first watched Friends when I was 15). I was absolutely in love with their relationship as an adult. Just goes to show, teens aren’t all that bright (or maybe that was just me).
Monica and chandler were the couple we didn't know we needed but were better for it
My husband and I were best friends for 10 years prior. I felt this intense love and protection for his daughter actually at first that I knew her whole life, celebrated with him and the whole nine. In that, I developed feelings for him, too, not thinking it would go anywhere. I made it clear that I started to have feelings for him and if he didn't reciprocate, that was fine, but I'll always be his best friend and I will always be there for him and his daughter. Turns out the feelings were indeed reciprocated and the rest is history. We came this power couple that my bonus daughters therapist loves since it's so easy to communicate and get on the same page with us and we were always very clear about what we wanted and when we wanted it, with room for wiggle room because life isn't perfect.
I kinda want you to react to Niles and Daphne relationship from Frasier, im very curious about your POV either that or Frasier and Roz's friendship.
Right from the start when Friends first came out, I never understood why everyone was rooting for Ross and Rachel. I never saw them together then, and I don't see them together now. They weren't good for each other and they weren't mutually supportive. It made me so mad when Rachel gave up that great opportunity in Paris in order to stay in New York with Ross, who only tried to thwart her going instead of encouraging her to follow her dreams.
Whereas with Candler and Monica, they worked really well together, in my humble opinion. Yes, they were both flawed - I mean, who isn't? - and they both had their quirks or whatever you want to call it, but they were a good fit for each other and helped to balance each other out. They supported each other and didn't have the on-again-off-again-on-again-off-again.... thing that Ross and Rachel did.
Of course they weren't a perfect couple, but then what couple is? Still, they just worked, in my humble opinion, whereas Ross and Rachel never really did fit together well.
Just my humble opinion. :)
Wow I was not expecting to sob while watching this 😂 you are so well spoken I love these videos
I personally can't stand watching Friends because so much screentime is spent with Ross and Rachel 😂 Chandler and Monica feel like the only breather we can get. Their relationship is based on friendship and trust. It's beautiful.
Because of their foundation as friends to each other, they were able to be honest so that they were looking out for each other, thus helping them grow together and individually. Both had major insecurities for various reasons, and they were able to over come it because of the bond they had to heal their traumas. Their romance taught them to respect and love themselves while giving their heart to their best friend because trust was helping them bond closer.
A dynamic I wish there could be looked into here, is the relationship between the characters Buck and Eddie from 9-1-1 (on Fox).
It is an extremely interesting and deeply profound one, and I thought it could be fun to see what a therapist may say about them, even if they aren't exactly a couple (yet at least), but they still share such a strong bond, and are even co-parenting a kid.
They have the best relationships of TV of all time ❤️
Add Chidi & Eleanor to your list, please!
This couple makes me so happy!!!
A friend of mine, whom I see becoming a very close one in the future, once told me something that sticks with me whenever I start comparing myself, as I have a habit of doing. I was upset because I couldn't motivate myself to do an assignment for a uni class and I was stressed about other things and felt like I wasn't "adulting" as well as everyone else because of it. Instead of saying "No you're doing great, don't be stressed" or "Everyone has their own struggles" he said "Yeah, (my full name), the girl who wants to be like everyone else. Sounds like news to me" It was a different perspective of being different, and that it's not always good things that make you different, but he acknowledged me as a unique person still. It gave me motivation to do it, not to be like everyone else, but to be a better version of myself. And yes, in case you were wondering, I do have a little more than a crush on him.
I never thought that Monica and Chandler could be thought of as healthy, but it does make sense.
I would LOVE it if you reacted to BBC's Merlin. Its a 5 season show and it has great characters!
A sitcom would be House. It has slightly worse relationships than Twilight
Therapize How I Met Your Mother; Marshall and Lily are goals!