I'm going to be honest, I watched this video... and I did want to be triggered at the start because I wanted to lose weight this week... and u have complete changed my mind and thank you for telling me I'm alright just as I am. I am a 'healthy' weights according to my BMI, but I do spend way too much time being destructive with my thoughts around food and so this video was actually very helpful! Thank you! And keep going strong with your recovery because u r an inspiration! 😘
It is really nice to hear about success stories like this, and I'm proud of you for working against your eating disorder. It's interesting to watch eating disorder experiences from someone else's perspective. Our stories of personal struggle are all different and some last longer than others. As a guy, I would try to achieve to be prepared and the best that I could be and ended up developing anorexia nervosa as a punishment for failing to reach those achievements. The thing is that all of us will come to a point when we grow absolutely sick of being cold (I was drinking cups of hot water every time I got home from school in November to feel warm), and we realize that we are not doing any good (actually harming) ourselves and the people we love. I suffered with SMA syndrome due to anorexia, and I couldn't eat or drink for a little over a month. I had a thick Ng tube for nerogastrial decompression to drain my stomach since nothing would make it past my stomach (even stomach acid). The entire goal was to get a NJ feeding tube that could bypass my deodenum blockage. I learned though the process of hospitilzation what I had not seen during my time being hyper focused on food: what pain I had caused to my family and friends. Eating disorders are what we turn to achieve perfection in the majority of cases, but we all come to realize how perfect we were before we threw upon ourselves upon a new normal. Don't let any eating disorder take away any part of your well being or personality, because that is worth so much more than what you think is different with you compared to someone else.
Sound like you’ve had a tough time, and I hope your doing well now! But no matter what you’ve gone through in you ed your always sick enough to recover! Recovery is for everyone 💛
wow you're such an amazing inspiration everything you said was right on point i don't even remember how old you said you were in maybe one of your other videos,if you did share that info,but you're very mature for your age,something ppl also like to tell me.however,i need to really get my booty into work and start truly recovering like you're doing because as you said this ain't life,this is hell and we all have a story in which we actually hold the final chapter on our hands and that future is decided by if we're strong enough to acually made changes and eat more and this is also a shot at myself because i need to start doing all in instead of simply watching the all in of other ppl because i,too,really need to recover otherwise i'm not having a proper future,i'm not going to uni and etc.wish you all the best and as long as you can keep postinh.all yours videos are very helpful and especially the all in what i eat in a day are very reassuring that following our hunger won't make us baloon into obesity and food and a lot of it is what we need
I'm soo glad you enjoy my videos and find them helpful, it means a lot to me to receive such kind comments! I do feel after going through an ED you develop a sense of maturity which others don't understand and can make it harder to fit back into your old friendship groups as your priorities change and your realise what is really important in life Xxx
@@Jessicakaity yeah oh my gosh i totaly agree too and it's also especially hard when you're in that in between with quasi and full recovery and want to go all in and you only think about food but then also wanting to continue to pursue your school goals at the same time so you cope with all this bullshit going on with eating the same things every day and keeping you safe that way since the environment's not safe.i'm so worried though i should've an appointment like last month and if it's like put this month i'm absolutely fucked but i'm still struggling to do things to revert the situation oh my god seriously it's such a hard mental task i wish ppl could simply understand what is going on atm in my head it's like so many thoughts and literally like it's 2 me's,the one who wants to recover and is always yelling at myself for doing shit and the other who's like do what you normally do it's safe it's fine that way you don't change and you're good rn so you'll stay good which is a huge lie arhhhhhhhh sorry once again what a rant goddddd what have i done.....relapse city for sure and i've dug a big hole to get out of wow
What were your parent's responses through all of this? Did they notice your restriction and obsessive exercise? I feel like my family would be so observant especially if it was in the family
Yes my parents we fully aware of my situation but they were too scared to stop me in case I fully relapsed very fast and went impatient again. So quasi recovery me was easier that fully disordered me. But they are really proud of me now 💛
Wow... that overeating comment.. Its so fucking normal for an underweight person to experience extreme hunger. If you had asked for a bag of chips, a plate of pasta and 5 sandwiches on top of your mealplan yeah maybe that would be a bit overeating xD. But to me, even eating a bag of chips on top of your mealplan when youre in a state of extreme hunger is not overeating or abnormal at all
I truly had never heard of eating disorders of any kind back as a teen in the 60’s. I was small by nature, so I was eating whatever I wanted. I’m sorry for people who have gone through this. You are courageous to tell your story. Thank you!
It is shocking that a person in recovery for anorexia could be accused of wanting to overeat. I can’t understand how these treatment centres are allowed to treat patients
There are a lot of tricky things that Ed's can make people do.... And that could possibly be filling yourself to the point of actually getting sick enough to purge or refuse to eat later. (I didn't understand it either, but unfortunately they have to be extremely cautious)
Refeeding syndrome is very real and extremely dangerous as well as people with Eating disorders can go from anorexia to binge eating pretty easily due to the 'lack of control' as well as what @Stuffy Pancake said
KiwiMaddieKiwi True although refeeding syndrome is rare and is more likely at the beginning of treatment when the person has not eaten for a long time or is extremely underweight. However, I disagree with binge eating following anorexia. People binge because of restriction/ energy deficit so the treatment of binge eating of any sort is not more restriction. Plus we’re talking about 1 apple here.
@@sarahbartlett9870 Yes I know, I had anorexia followed by binge eating. Not trying to argue I agree, just showing other reasons why that rule may be in place - most units don't like making exceptions to rules even for something small incase it escalates. I hope you are keeping safe during this!
KiwiMaddieKiwi of course. We are all entitled to our points of view and can discuss them as adults. I probably am biased against treatment centres as I spent 6 weeks in one and was completely mismanaged.
i see how skinny i am and do not love how i look like but i am so scared to gain weight but on the other hand it is the one wish i have: i want to look healthy again, want to enjoy life and get my period back. But something is holding me back. one day i am recovering, the other one i am crying and my eating disorder is stronger than me again. to recover, you need a lot of strenght mentally and i kind of not have it anymore...Sounds so weird but i relapsed and i kind of gave up because i am so tired of this... Does anyone has helpful thoughts or plans? 🖤 Btw i love your channel and personality. I cannot follow a mealplan eighter, it is stressing me out but on the other hand i do not know what a normal portion is anymore and even if i eat a normal restaurant portion size, this is not enough for my body to gain weight. This sounds weird, but when i am eating i am kind of so motivated that i overeat until i feel like throwing up and my stomach cannot handle it. my relationship with food is so over the place and i cannot describe it really well: i am not even afraid of food but it is the action that is missing because i have given myself up and already say that even if i gain my weight back i will relapse again..and i am comparing myself so much to my older self who recovered two years ago...such an unhealthy mindset, I know😒 And i made it myself and i cannot understand how i got out of this mindset and how to get it back...lots of love😘
@SophieKloop...I had issues 30 years ago and have been clear for 27 years now . What changed? I somehow found a way to connect with my inner child. .Literally saw myself as a 5 year old abused little girl. Begging for love. ..Didnt want to hurt her anymore....It wasnt immediate but gradually over time I filled my life with other things..became a teacher...took up tennis....Today...no issues...enjoy food. ..Do you think you can reach out and love yourself..See that little girl who needs your love.... Talk to her...the hardest hardest thing was looking in the mirror and promising to love her, support her, not judge her, or condemn her.whatever others said about me...it was very hard at start...But it worked...what do you reckon...? Give it a go? .
omg just saw all of your answers and how many people have read this..thanks for your love and kindness. i do not feel so alone anymore and will take my time to answer every person🥰
this is a good video. i sometimes watch "my eating disorder story" videos to purposefully trigger myself but nothing about this made me want to restrict more, thank you for being so honest and sharing your story, and thanks for also calling bullshit on 'recovering healthily' i'm sorry that the inpatient was such a traumatic experience for you
This is incredible. You should be so proud of how far you have come my angel. Your such an inspiration, beautiful inside and out. Never lose hope because you will get there. Sending love and strength xxxxxx❤️💖
This video made me so emotional , I get what you say when you want to get your life back. I’m soo happy to hear that I inspired you to go all in !! It’s really hard, you should be proud of yourself!! We got this girl!!!
its not about 'power' its trust. trust that thins will get easier. trust that recovery is possible and most of all trust in your body. their is never a perfect time to recover, and you'll never feel ready you just have to let go and trust that you'll fly Xxx
Most of what you've said has happened to me and I'm older than you. I didn't know I had anorexia due to trauma and, like you, it took away many things, joy and energy and happy moments in my life, but now I'm trying to improve and no longer let myself be carried away by a stereotype, that's why I think it's not good for children to be influenced by the Internet, because that can be very harmful.
This is such an inspiring story, really. You showed me my goals are achievable and I am not incapable of beating my ed. I need to accept that weight gain is unavoidable.
I can’t believe that doctors or Ed specialists think that people with anorexia want to overeat. That is Madness. That’s why I refused all hospitalisation, they put you in another Ed category like binge eater, if you eat more than what they say. That is really horrible. You are a brave woman!
You are amazing, truly. It’s such a hard journey. You seem so wise for your age. My ED took 25 years from me. I still find it hard. You have really helped me. Check out megsy recovery also
@@janedoex1398both 25 and 29 are a long time, but are you recovered now? I spent 6 months with it before the hospital because I started off with a already low weight with a fast metabolism, now that’s all ruined due to the starving
Thank you so so much for making this video!! You are truly amazing and such an inspiration! You should be so proud if everything you have accomplished so far. You are a true fighter and deserve FULL recovery!!!! Love you so much! Hope we can be friends!! Stay strong!! 😊💓💜❣️
Jessica you have told us a story very brave of you, I have only high hopes of a great future for you & I hope you keep making videos! God Bless you Jessica! 😇🌈❤️🌸👍
Thank you so much for these videos! Every single one of your videos help me so much! You’re a huge inspiration to me and you have helped me massively in recovery I can’t thank you enough!!!!!!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It is so inspiring. I love how you address the negative effects Fitspo can have, I for sure know what its like to. You sound so happy and confident, it is amazing to see.
You are simply AMAZING. Ur words are so pleasant and lovely to hear and I just adore your voice. Thank you for talking about your story in such a non-triggering way. U r so nice!!!
Hi I also have anorexia and when I watched you for the first time I was inspired to do something that scares me with the eating disorder to recover from it.
Inpatient is generally not helpful, overall harmful…. Sorry if others do not like to know that opinion. A lot of knowledge personal (and academic, legal) behind it. If you find help outside yourself, great. Mainly it’s a fight to be well that you choose, rather than living like a ghost or potentially dying (speeded death). Power battles in hospitals (or with anyone ) need to be avoided, ideally there’s a collaborative approach with you, family or friends, physicians and other “allied professionals.”
Hearing your desires for your future almost brought me to tears. You are one of the most beautiful souls I have come across. Thank you for your support on EDs, I don't want to live like this anymore, I want my life back and I want a future.
I’m scared of going to the doctors. I was admitted at 70 lbs, but I had Covid, meaning I had to go to the Covid unit of hospital instead of Ed. They told me I was overweight. Never got better.
your story is so inspiring thank u for this ! i’ve struggled with body image my whole life but this year it’s been the worst. i developed my ed a few months ago and i’m hoping i can recover soon.
Sometimes we meet inspirational people who have suffered horribly...and then been able to use that suffering to help others....you are one of thos me people.Keep going..and yes I have no doubt you will become a really empathic insightful dr.....
Thank you very much for sharing your story Nowdays i am fighting my ED and i really want to recover.I fell like every day is a battle to stop counting calories , stop worrying about food and to stop being addicted to do exercise despite My body really suffer for doing everyday. I know the path is really hard ,but thank you for inspire me to recover for a shine and healthy future P.D:( I really want to be a doctor too) :)
Alongside schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, anorexia nervosa is one of the mental illnesses most strongly affected by genetic disposition. If you and your sister both have/had it then it is possible one of your older relatives had some form of the illness too :(
damn, you are so strong. also so brave for sharing what you went through. still kind of are, i guess. i am so glad that you are (based on your recent vids) doing better. keep going! you´re amazing! seeing your story really made me realize that i´m just a girl who may have a not great body image, struggle with food and a bit with exercise, but i definitely do not have an ED. sharing stories is important for this reason as well, because i´m nowhere near that and have been told i "come off as anorexic". which as i now realize is not true in the slightest.
I have never thought of myself as anorexic, but I have been working on improving my relationship with food. I have had some past medical issues that have made it a struggle to eat as much as my body needs, and I have gained more weight after each episode of calorie restriction, to the point that I am now categorized as obese... which makes me afraid to eat even though I am past the medical issues that prevented me from eating enough before. But my dietician told me that "starvation mode" is a real thing and some obese people actually need to eat MORE in order to let their weight balance out. It's extremely difficult to let myself eat when society tells me that I need to eat less because of my weight. But I got to the point you described - no energy, always cold, horrendous headaches, lost my period, etc. from not eating enough (even though my body can't seem to lose weight even when I don't eat enough). So I'm working on really listening to what my body needs, instead of worrying about what society says about it. I appreciate you sharing your journey, and I support you! ❤️
Thank you so much for this video, for sharing your story and inspiring us. I've been struggling with my eating disorder for almost 10 years now and I've reached the point where I'm completely done with it but I'm still too afraid to give my all for recovery. This video really motivated me and inspired me to focus on my future and the reasons why this fight is worth fighting. And I feel more hopeful again. Hopeful that there is a path out, a path to recovery. So again, thank you very much. You're a beautiful person. Lots of love and a big hug.
I have a lot of friends who go through this. I can't say I can relate, the closest I got to relativity on this subject is being insanely obsessed with working out and eating right. It sounds like "oh wow that's a good thing though," I mean yeah, you'd think that at first. Once it becomes an obsession though, it just hits different. It's hard to explain. Anyways, thanks for sharing this video, I'm sure it's helped a ton of people understand the concept, struggles, and negative impacts anorexia has on anyone.
Thank you for sharing your story. You are stronger and braver than you know. You deserve so much more out of life.Your a little sensitive soul with so much to offer and give to the world, and so much joy and happiness to receive. You can fight this, I believe in you. You are such a nice person with a whole full life waiting for you. Do are doing the right hing. Just never give up and listen to your body. The world is your oyster - you can do everything and anything - freedom is yours but its going to be hard to break free but you CAN do it - never give up. And we are all here to support you if you need it. Anytime. Reach out. We are stronger together. xxx
SO proud of you!! keep on going ! What do you recommend, I really want to go all in but I still get weighed once a week (very triggering) by my therapist and every time I bring up 'all in' she dismisses it and tells me her method is tried and tested. I'm so confused about what to do because shes a professional. I don't want to stop seeing her because she is helping in some ways. I'm just kind of stuck xx
Go for it! I had exactly the same experience! I told my dietitian that I would stick to her plan as a minimum but I would listen to my body the rest of the time and if that meant going over that was fine, I'm lucky as my team were very supportive! but talk to them and be honest, with the weighing maybe see if you can be blind weighed and for your team to not make any comments on your weight, I know its hard but trust be it ill get easier. Xxx
@@Jessicakaity Thank you! It is tough at the moment all they care about is the weight (at the moment i'm gaining a lot but not all in) because I do phone calls (because of corona) so that's their only measure of my progress. I have a meeting tomorrow so will explain all of this to them and face all in recovery head on, AHH SO SCARED. No pain, No gain, No brain xx
I used to have an eating disorder and I just noticed I'm falling back into it . And my body says to stop but I can't. I lost almost 10 pounds this month . What do I do ? 😞
You are truly one of the nicest, sweetest, kindest and most inspirational people I've seen on UA-cam! You have absolutely no idea how much you're already helping people with your uplifting and encouraging words! I'm so incredibly proud and happy for you and I hope that despite how hard it is, you're still fighting with that amazing strength to recover! And you'll be helping others along the way without even realizing it! Sending you love and gigantic hugs 🤗🤗🤗 thank you so much for making this video, I hope it makes you feel proud of yourself! Absolute angel!💕💖
when you talked about your experience of your eating disorder in the time of your life when you were running too much....you described my experience to a tee. thanks for sharing your story
I used to binge and purge and my cheeks would get puffy. That was the whole reason why I stopped eating because I thought my face was to chubby. Then the purging made it worse :/
In a state of growth if we are harmed and not given the response we need to restart our growth, it may become how we respond to ourselves. We may not realize that we reflect a polar opposite that’s just as controlling and influential as what effected us. We may reflect the lack of response as how we turn it around and prove we are more powerful. The power of how we respond shows the power of our experiences. Our growth and our person is connected to the times and ways we were harmed. How we are harmed is connected to how others treat us and who they are and that forms our response. It might be why her apple story was memorable for the control she was trying to regain not in order to harm herself but to heal and instead felt a reenactment of neglect and control at a pivotal moment. It’s possible that social media also enforces new forms of control. Even as we do good for others it may not be helping us grow in all the areas we were stopped. You are the seed that grows into the tree that forms a new apple. As a person, your environment should nurture not just body and mind but emotional well being and security.
Hey Jessica!!! Are you from Lancashire? I'm from Lancaster!! Thank you so much for sharing your story, you're so brave and you've come so far 💖 you've got this 💕💕💕
I’m eating to the point where I’m not hungry and over full, I just ate 2 piece of cake, 3 cookies and a jam doughnut and after looked to bloated that I made myself throw up for the first time in ages. I’m not even considered underweight anymore and don’t fear food anymore(I’ve only had my ed since December and had only recently got worse) but I feel like I can’t stop eating crap and I’m scared to go back to being obese coz I’ve lost over 5stone in under a year due to dieting/exercise obsessions. I really need advice on how or when this cycle will stop 😕
im so sorry to here about your struggles and i completely relate!!! i felt like i could still eat just 'crap' at a healthy weight and i would just become overweight but this isn't true you just have to trust your body its just making a cushion for itself for protection and once it realises your not going to try harm it again it will let go of this cushion... just give it time to learn to trust and i promise it will get better!!! just don't compensate it will only make your body trust you less and need more of a cushion. xxx
@@Jessicakaity awh thanks for the advice, I’m still eating loads of chocolate and don’t want to stop eating but I know that it’s becoming a serious problem now but I don’t want to stop? Even though I know I will end up overweight if I don’t stop soon
I’m going through anorexia recovery right now and am so proud of you for doing all in💗 You are such a big inspiration to me and I wish I could just reach through the screen and give you a hug! EDs suck and are so hard to beat, but I know post-anorexia life will be so worth it!
This was truly incredible but very heartbreaking at the same time. I too struggle, I'm trying to get Beck on my feet again, it is sooooo difficult but stopping is not the way to go. I've struggled and well still am for wow... years already and I too don't want my future to be all about this anymore. I'm tired of it...but some days even that is hard to do/say. I appreciate you being soo raw and honest in this video because all of the shit you went through this far...up I've experienced. It's tough. Sooo I totally understand you there...the mental, physical and emotional. Thank you though for this. I find you very inspiring, heart felt, interesting, beautiful, funny, loving, strong and sooo courageous. You are and have been doing amazing 💗🥊👍 I loove it. I too have seen some vids outta there like Stephanie Buttermore's...it does frighten me but it's hard stuff..you can't go around recovery...you must go through it. Soo yes, your incredible.. Keep at it gurl. Love you. I admire you. Don't let others get the best of you (that includes the eating disorder as well). p.s. how are you doing or how are you dealing this recovery/all in... especially having your sister being ill? At this point in your journey, basically?
Thank you soo much! I’m so glad you enjoyed the video! I hope you’re feeling somewhat better, repetition is the key. I actually think I’m recovered now... yes I get disordered thoughts (rarely) but I don’t engage in them and that’s what’s important 💛
@@Jessicakaity woooooow, I seen that happen soo much or to many people recovering. I'm so happy and inspired by you. Thaaaank gurl. I really want that too. It is the key.🖤Soo proud of you.
In this video I hadn’t got my period back yet. I lost it in 2016 but managed to get it back about 2 weeks ago! I’ve done a post on it on my insta jessica_kaity on how I got it back. But basically it will come when it’s ready, try not to stress 💛
You are are a beautiful soul, both inside and out! My only issue with Steph B is that I still think she is obsessed by her looks, sometimes just looking natural without posing in gym gear without wearing tones of makeup ect ect Bare, natural and happy is beautiful!
Ooo been looking forward to hearing your story ❤️ thank you for making this video xxxx wow, exactly the same!! My big sister and my mum had an Ed before me and I NEVER imagined that I would get it!!! (my mum is still ill in her 70's) Agreed that courgetti is the most vile food!!! Lol, refusal of the wheelchair... #relatable. The experience of inpatient is also so relatable too. I also picked up so many bad behaviours but also met some AMAZING friends. So sad that because you wanted a bit of extra food they made you feel so crappy. The physical restraints are so so scary. It has also happened to me in inpatient. I really don't think they should be allowed to do this. It's so traumatic and also my head has blocked a lot of it out!!!!!!! The control of our Ed v's professionals is soooo true. It becomes a battle of wills. So daft when we look back. You are so so insightful and honest about what the Ed does and how sneaky and manipulative it makes us. Also actually how miserable it was in reality. That misery of exercise addiction and feeling drained and cold all of the time!!! All of the different types of diet and quasi recovery are also so so relatable. It's transferring the control of the total restriction into obsessions about food and exercise and think it's 'healthy'. I honestly think that you are so brave going 'all in' it's amazing and so inspirational!!!! You have to do this honestly hun, you're still young and you can make something of your life and turn this all around and go forwards. Such a healthy attitude towards food and weight, life and the future. Awwwww sweetie I am behind you all the way!!! Please never, ever give up!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙏❤️💪 Xxx Also if you listen to Tabitha Farrar's UA-cam channel or read her book you can see that maybe the initial trampolining caused weight loss and energy defecit and that will have triggered the genetic link and the process of the migration response and the effect of starvation response in the body and mind maybe? So vital to keep above a certain weight and avoid any energy defecit. Nutritional rehabilitation is so important which is why all in and following your hunger cues either mental or physical ones is so important!!!!! Xxxx
I cnt even look at courgetti now (YUCKKK). Having a sister with an ED is challenging but I guess it gives us a different perpective. Hope your doing well and im sooooooooo glad you enjoyed the video Xxx
@@Jessicakaity awww bless you. Yes I'm doing well thank you sweetheart. It's a daily battle but one I am prepared to fight to get my life back 💪💪💪❤️❤️❤️ keep going little one. How old are you by the way?
@@Jessicakaity awww bless you. So wise for someone so young!! ❤️❤️❤️ Aww recover now sweetheart while you have your youth and also you can still enjoy some teenage years if you recover now!!! 🙌❤️ Is your sister still ill or recovered?
@@harmonyhope1709 Thank you, I will try my best! unfortunately she is still very ill despite her life being consumed by her ED for a good 15 years. How are you? 💛💛💛
awesome! congrats :) i think the worst is to have depression + anorexia because i see that most of the people that recover from anorexia its because they care about their future. someone with depression cant even see a future..
Hey Jessica! 💖 I literally came across your page yesterday and I have already binged so many of your videos 🙈 You are so inspirational and such an inspiration to me 💕 I hope this is not too personal, but I was just wondering if you could please tell me or give me an indication when someone is admitted to hospital? Like what do doctors/ professionals look at? Do they admit you if you're at a very low BMI or what? Sorry if it's too personal, I was just wondering since I am at a vey low weight apparently 🙈
I'm going to be honest, I watched this video... and I did want to be triggered at the start because I wanted to lose weight this week... and u have complete changed my mind and thank you for telling me I'm alright just as I am. I am a 'healthy' weights according to my BMI, but I do spend way too much time being destructive with my thoughts around food and so this video was actually very helpful! Thank you! And keep going strong with your recovery because u r an inspiration! 😘
Laura I hope you can rewatch this video and use it when you get triggered.
Laura I hope you can rewatch this video and use it when you get triggered.
you've no idea how much this comment means to me!!! I'm always here for you Xxx
It is really nice to hear about success stories like this, and I'm proud of you for working against your eating disorder.
It's interesting to watch eating disorder experiences from someone else's perspective. Our stories of personal struggle are all different and some last longer than others. As a guy, I would try to achieve to be prepared and the best that I could be and ended up developing anorexia nervosa as a punishment for failing to reach those achievements. The thing is that all of us will come to a point when we grow absolutely sick of being cold (I was drinking cups of hot water every time I got home from school in November to feel warm), and we realize that we are not doing any good (actually harming) ourselves and the people we love. I suffered with SMA syndrome due to anorexia, and I couldn't eat or drink for a little over a month. I had a thick Ng tube for nerogastrial decompression to drain my stomach since nothing would make it past my stomach (even stomach acid). The entire goal was to get a NJ feeding tube that could bypass my deodenum blockage. I learned though the process of hospitilzation what I had not seen during my time being hyper focused on food: what pain I had caused to my family and friends. Eating disorders are what we turn to achieve perfection in the majority of cases, but we all come to realize how perfect we were before we threw upon ourselves upon a new normal. Don't let any eating disorder take away any part of your well being or personality, because that is worth so much more than what you think is different with you compared to someone else.
Sound like you’ve had a tough time, and I hope your doing well now! But no matter what you’ve gone through in you ed your always sick enough to recover! Recovery is for everyone 💛
I’m so proud of you ❤️ thanks for putting in that segment at the end for your viewers on how you can say no to an eating disorder 🙏
Thank you 💛
so happy to have found your channel! wishing you all the best
Thank you! You too! Xxx
Girl, I'm so proud of you. You're doing great. You are so brave for putting this out there. Keep it up; Much love.
Thank you! It means a lot 😂💛
wow you're such an amazing inspiration everything you said was right on point i don't even remember how old you said you were in maybe one of your other videos,if you did share that info,but you're very mature for your age,something ppl also like to tell me.however,i need to really get my booty into work and start truly recovering like you're doing because as you said this ain't life,this is hell and we all have a story in which we actually hold the final chapter on our hands and that future is decided by if we're strong enough to acually made changes and eat more and this is also a shot at myself because i need to start doing all in instead of simply watching the all in of other ppl because i,too,really need to recover otherwise i'm not having a proper future,i'm not going to uni and etc.wish you all the best and as long as you can keep postinh.all yours videos are very helpful and especially the all in what i eat in a day are very reassuring that following our hunger won't make us baloon into obesity and food and a lot of it is what we need
I'm soo glad you enjoy my videos and find them helpful, it means a lot to me to receive such kind comments! I do feel after going through an ED you develop a sense of maturity which others don't understand and can make it harder to fit back into your old friendship groups as your priorities change and your realise what is really important in life Xxx
@@Jessicakaity yeah oh my gosh i totaly agree too and it's also especially hard when you're in that in between with quasi and full recovery and want to go all in and you only think about food but then also wanting to continue to pursue your school goals at the same time so you cope with all this bullshit going on with eating the same things every day and keeping you safe that way since the environment's not safe.i'm so worried though i should've an appointment like last month and if it's like put this month i'm absolutely fucked but i'm still struggling to do things to revert the situation oh my god seriously it's such a hard mental task i wish ppl could simply understand what is going on atm in my head it's like so many thoughts and literally like it's 2 me's,the one who wants to recover and is always yelling at myself for doing shit and the other who's like do what you normally do it's safe it's fine that way you don't change and you're good rn so you'll stay good which is a huge lie arhhhhhhhh sorry once again what a rant goddddd what have i done.....relapse city for sure and i've dug a big hole to get out of wow
Keep hanging in there sweet girl. Lots of love and prayers.
God loves you and he is coming back soon please put your faith in him he loves you so much
u are a very strong inspiring girl thank u for being such a positive bright light in this dark 🌎 world ✨ ♥️
Thank you hun x
U r lovely!! Wish u a beautiful life ahead
So proud of u
such an inspiration!!!!!!!!!!! thank you x100000000
Thank you for watching x1000000000000099
What were your parent's responses through all of this? Did they notice your restriction and obsessive exercise? I feel like my family would be so observant especially if it was in the family
Yes my parents we fully aware of my situation but they were too scared to stop me in case I fully relapsed very fast and went impatient again. So quasi recovery me was easier that fully disordered me. But they are really proud of me now 💛
What is leg shake?
people shaking their legs while sitting to burn extra calories
It can be deliberate or self conscious but it needs to be stopped as it’s an ed habit 💛
@@Batgirl1234556 Doesn't sound like it'd burn anything worthwhile anyway.
Wow... that overeating comment.. Its so fucking normal for an underweight person to experience extreme hunger. If you had asked for a bag of chips, a plate of pasta and 5 sandwiches on top of your mealplan yeah maybe that would be a bit overeating xD. But to me, even eating a bag of chips on top of your mealplan when youre in a state of extreme hunger is not overeating or abnormal at all
I know it makes no sense! So glad I got out and am living my life x
I truly had never heard of eating disorders of any kind back as a teen in the 60’s. I was small by nature, so I was eating whatever I wanted. I’m sorry for people who have gone through this. You are courageous to tell your story. Thank you!
your hair is so beautiful...i love love love it
Awe thanks 💛
It is shocking that a person in recovery for anorexia could be accused of wanting to overeat. I can’t understand how these treatment centres are allowed to treat patients
There are a lot of tricky things that Ed's can make people do.... And that could possibly be filling yourself to the point of actually getting sick enough to purge or refuse to eat later. (I didn't understand it either, but unfortunately they have to be extremely cautious)
Refeeding syndrome is very real and extremely dangerous as well as people with Eating disorders can go from anorexia to binge eating pretty easily due to the 'lack of control' as well as what @Stuffy Pancake said
KiwiMaddieKiwi True although refeeding syndrome is rare and is more likely at the beginning of treatment when the person has not eaten for a long time or is extremely underweight. However, I disagree with binge eating following anorexia. People binge because of restriction/ energy deficit so the treatment of binge eating of any sort is not more restriction. Plus we’re talking about 1 apple here.
@@sarahbartlett9870 Yes I know, I had anorexia followed by binge eating. Not trying to argue I agree, just showing other reasons why that rule may be in place - most units don't like making exceptions to rules even for something small incase it escalates. I hope you are keeping safe during this!
KiwiMaddieKiwi of course. We are all entitled to our points of view and can discuss them as adults. I probably am biased against treatment centres as I spent 6 weeks in one and was completely mismanaged.
i see how skinny i am and do not love how i look like but i am so scared to gain weight but on the other hand it is the one wish i have: i want to look healthy again, want to enjoy life and get my period back. But something is holding me back. one day i am recovering, the other one i am crying and my eating disorder is stronger than me again. to recover, you need a lot of strenght mentally and i kind of not have it anymore...Sounds so weird but i relapsed and i kind of gave up because i am so tired of this... Does anyone has helpful thoughts or plans? 🖤
Btw i love your channel and personality. I cannot follow a mealplan eighter, it is stressing me out but on the other hand i do not know what a normal portion is anymore and even if i eat a normal restaurant portion size, this is not enough for my body to gain weight. This sounds weird, but when i am eating i am kind of so motivated that i overeat until i feel like throwing up and my stomach cannot handle it. my relationship with food is so over the place and i cannot describe it really well: i am not even afraid of food but it is the action that is missing because i have given myself up and already say that even if i gain my weight back i will relapse again..and i am comparing myself so much to my older self who recovered two years ago...such an unhealthy mindset, I know😒 And i made it myself and i cannot understand how i got out of this mindset and how to get it back...lots of love😘
Trust! I believe in you! You can do this 💛
Sophie Klopp Sowa I go through exactly the same and want to get my period back
yea, i don't want my period back. i know im ill, but i do not want that period back again... btw, i am recovering but slowly
@SophieKloop...I had issues 30 years ago and have been clear for 27 years now . What changed? I somehow found a way to connect with my inner child. .Literally saw myself as a 5 year old abused little girl. Begging for love. ..Didnt want to hurt her anymore....It wasnt immediate but gradually over time I filled my life with other things..became a teacher...took up tennis....Today...no issues...enjoy food. ..Do you think you can reach out and love yourself..See that little girl who needs your love.... Talk to her...the hardest hardest thing was looking in the mirror and promising to love her, support her, not judge her, or condemn her.whatever others said about me...it was very hard at start...But it worked...what do you reckon...? Give it a go? .
omg just saw all of your answers and how many people have read this..thanks for your love and kindness. i do not feel so alone anymore and will take my time to answer every person🥰
this is a good video. i sometimes watch "my eating disorder story" videos to purposefully trigger myself but nothing about this made me want to restrict more, thank you for being so honest and sharing your story, and thanks for also calling bullshit on 'recovering healthily'
i'm sorry that the inpatient was such a traumatic experience for you
This is incredible. You should be so proud of how far you have come my angel. Your such an inspiration, beautiful inside and out. Never lose hope because you will get there. Sending love and strength xxxxxx❤️💖
Awe, thank you sooo much Xxx
@@Jessicakaity - Such a sweet girl
identifying as anorexic...that is something I struggled with so badly. thank you for sharing xxxx❤️❤️
It’s such a trap! As well as the recovery community people get stuck in recovery rather than recovered 💛
Is there any tips how to gain weight healthy 💗💗
@@izzydelmar6273yes, eat.
im so happy for you! you are very reflected and kind :) wish you all the best
Thank you! You too! Xxx
This video made me so emotional , I get what you say when you want to get your life back. I’m soo happy to hear that I inspired you to go all in !! It’s really hard, you should be proud of yourself!! We got this girl!!!
we got this together Xxx
Maybe I have the “power” to choose recovery but @ this point I rly don’t think I have the will :( which unfortunately is what makes all the dif
its not about 'power' its trust. trust that thins will get easier. trust that recovery is possible and most of all trust in your body. their is never a perfect time to recover, and you'll never feel ready you just have to let go and trust that you'll fly Xxx
Most of what you've said has happened to me and I'm older than you. I didn't know I had anorexia due to trauma and, like you, it took away many things, joy and energy and happy moments in my life, but now I'm trying to improve and no longer let myself be carried away by a stereotype, that's why I think it's not good for children to be influenced by the Internet, because that can be very harmful.
This is such an inspiring story, really. You showed me my goals are achievable and I am not incapable of beating my ed. I need to accept that weight gain is unavoidable.
I’m so proud of you for findings your truth! You can do this 💛
I can’t believe that doctors or Ed specialists think that people with anorexia want to overeat. That is Madness. That’s why I refused all hospitalisation, they put you in another Ed category like binge eater, if you eat more than what they say. That is really horrible. You are a brave woman!
you're such a nice girl. I really want to thank you for this video. it just made my day. Keep going!
You are a verry powerfull woman! How old are you?
I am 16 💛
You are amazing, truly. It’s such a hard journey. You seem so wise for your age. My ED took 25 years from me. I still find it hard. You have really helped me. Check out megsy recovery also
Thank you, I guess you get that recovery wisdom if you get me? 💛
Spend no time. I spent 29 with it. Still do.
@@janedoex1398both 25 and 29 are a long time, but are you recovered now? I spent 6 months with it before the hospital because I started off with a already low weight with a fast metabolism, now that’s all ruined due to the starving
Thank you so so much for making this video!! You are truly amazing and such an inspiration! You should be so proud if everything you have accomplished so far. You are a true fighter and deserve FULL recovery!!!! Love you so much! Hope we can be friends!! Stay strong!! 😊💓💜❣️
Thank you so much!! id love to be friends with such beautiful people Xxx
You have such an inner strength!!❤️sending love and support through this comment, I wish you all the best on your journey❤️
Thank you, sending hugs 🤗 back your way 💛
What’s Quazzy sorry?
Jessica you have told us a story very brave of you, I have only high hopes
of a great future for you & I hope you
keep making videos! God Bless you
Jessica! 😇🌈❤️🌸👍
You really seem like such a sweet person , you really inspire me so much as well!!
You're the best! Xxx
Thank you so much for these videos! Every single one of your videos help me so much! You’re a huge inspiration to me and you have helped me massively in recovery I can’t thank you enough!!!!!!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It is so inspiring. I love how you address the negative effects Fitspo can have, I for sure know what its like to. You sound so happy and confident, it is amazing to see.
You are simply AMAZING. Ur words are so pleasant and lovely to hear and I just adore your voice. Thank you for talking about your story in such a non-triggering way. U r so nice!!!
Thank you so much! you're soo kind Xxx
Hi I also have anorexia and when I watched you for the first time I was inspired to do something that scares me with the eating disorder to recover from it.
I’m so proud of you!!! Keep it up 💛
Inpatient is generally not helpful, overall harmful…. Sorry if others do not like to know that opinion. A lot of knowledge personal (and academic, legal) behind it. If you find help outside yourself, great. Mainly it’s a fight to be well that you choose, rather than living like a ghost or potentially dying (speeded death). Power battles in hospitals (or with anyone ) need to be avoided, ideally there’s a collaborative approach with you, family or friends, physicians and other “allied professionals.”
Hearing your desires for your future almost brought me to tears. You are one of the most beautiful souls I have come across. Thank you for your support on EDs, I don't want to live like this anymore, I want my life back and I want a future.
You have no idea how happy this comment has made me! We can do this! I believe in you 💛💛💛
My heart absolutely broke for you when you mentioned the coffin stuff.... i wish you all the happiness in the world going forward,
I’m scared of going to the doctors. I was admitted at 70 lbs, but I had Covid, meaning I had to go to the Covid unit of hospital instead of Ed. They told me I was overweight. Never got better.
your story is so inspiring thank u for this ! i’ve struggled with body image my whole life but this year it’s been the worst. i developed my ed a few months ago and i’m hoping i can recover soon.
Recover now! It’s so worth it 💛
thank you! you inspired me to do my own video! you are so strong and beautiful
Sometimes we meet inspirational people who have suffered horribly...and then been able to use that suffering to help others....you are one of thos me people.Keep going..and yes I have no doubt you will become a really empathic insightful dr.....
Thank you very much for sharing your story
Nowdays i am fighting my ED and i really want to recover.I fell like every day is a battle to stop counting calories , stop worrying about food and to stop being addicted to do exercise despite My body really suffer for doing everyday.
I know the path is really hard ,but thank you for inspire me to recover for a shine and healthy future
P.D:( I really want to be a doctor too) :)
you can do this! we can do this! we will get through this! stay strong Xxx
I know I’m struggling with an ED, but I’m absolutely terrified of going inpatient. Help me
Trust... listen to your body! Inpatient isn’t worth it! Eat at home it’s so much better! 💛
Hey how is it going?
Naja H alright, school made it a lil better but not by much. So it’s still there but less loud
Alongside schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, anorexia nervosa is one of the mental illnesses most strongly affected by genetic disposition. If you and your sister both have/had it then it is possible one of your older relatives had some form of the illness too :(
damn, you are so strong. also so brave for sharing what you went through. still kind of are, i guess. i am so glad that you are (based on your recent vids) doing better. keep going! you´re amazing! seeing your story really made me realize that i´m just a girl who may have a not great body image, struggle with food and a bit with exercise, but i definitely do not have an ED. sharing stories is important for this reason as well, because i´m nowhere near that and have been told i "come off as anorexic". which as i now realize is not true in the slightest.
I have never thought of myself as anorexic, but I have been working on improving my relationship with food. I have had some past medical issues that have made it a struggle to eat as much as my body needs, and I have gained more weight after each episode of calorie restriction, to the point that I am now categorized as obese... which makes me afraid to eat even though I am past the medical issues that prevented me from eating enough before. But my dietician told me that "starvation mode" is a real thing and some obese people actually need to eat MORE in order to let their weight balance out. It's extremely difficult to let myself eat when society tells me that I need to eat less because of my weight. But I got to the point you described - no energy, always cold, horrendous headaches, lost my period, etc. from not eating enough (even though my body can't seem to lose weight even when I don't eat enough). So I'm working on really listening to what my body needs, instead of worrying about what society says about it. I appreciate you sharing your journey, and I support you! ❤️
You can do this! 💛
Im cape verdian from Brava God bless you. Hope you are doing ok.
Awe thank you 💛
Thank you so much for this video, for sharing your story and inspiring us. I've been struggling with my eating disorder for almost 10 years now and I've reached the point where I'm completely done with it but I'm still too afraid to give my all for recovery. This video really motivated me and inspired me to focus on my future and the reasons why this fight is worth fighting. And I feel more hopeful again. Hopeful that there is a path out, a path to recovery. So again, thank you very much. You're a beautiful person. Lots of love and a big hug.
Awe thank you, you have no ides how much this means to me!!! sending big hugs right back Xxx
I love your voice& the messages of your video!
You’re such a strong and nice person!❤️😘
such an inspiration!ly💞💞
Thank you 💛
You have so much wisdom and are an inspiration for all. Thank you for sharing your story 😃
I have a lot of friends who go through this. I can't say I can relate, the closest I got to relativity on this subject is being insanely obsessed with working out and eating right. It sounds like "oh wow that's a good thing though," I mean yeah, you'd think that at first. Once it becomes an obsession though, it just hits different. It's hard to explain. Anyways, thanks for sharing this video, I'm sure it's helped a ton of people understand the concept, struggles, and negative impacts anorexia has on anyone.
Thank you Xxx
Enjoy your life sweet girl, be happy with your family and do your best to appreciate the body you have. You are absolutely perfect just as you are.
Thank you for sharing your story. You are stronger and braver than you know. You deserve so much more out of life.Your a little sensitive soul with so much to offer and give to the world, and so much joy and happiness to receive. You can fight this, I believe in you. You are such a nice person with a whole full life waiting for you. Do are doing the right hing. Just never give up and listen to your body. The world is your oyster - you can do everything and anything - freedom is yours but its going to be hard to break free but you CAN do it - never give up. And we are all here to support you if you need it. Anytime. Reach out. We are stronger together. xxx
Such a lovely, inspirational and supportive message. We are all in this together and can help each other!! ❤️❤️
this comment really touched me, thank you SOOO much and trust me I wont give up, how your well too Xxx
made me cry... you're an earth angel ♡♡♡♡
Awe thank you 💛
SO proud of you!! keep on going ! What do you recommend, I really want to go all in but I still get weighed once a week (very triggering) by my therapist and every time I bring up 'all in' she dismisses it and tells me her method is tried and tested. I'm so confused about what to do because shes a professional. I don't want to stop seeing her because she is helping in some ways. I'm just kind of stuck xx
Go for it! I had exactly the same experience! I told my dietitian that I would stick to her plan as a minimum but I would listen to my body the rest of the time and if that meant going over that was fine, I'm lucky as my team were very supportive! but talk to them and be honest, with the weighing maybe see if you can be blind weighed and for your team to not make any comments on your weight, I know its hard but trust be it ill get easier. Xxx
@@Jessicakaity Thank you! It is tough at the moment all they care about is the weight (at the moment i'm gaining a lot but not all in) because I do phone calls (because of corona) so that's their only measure of my progress. I have a meeting tomorrow so will explain all of this to them and face all in recovery head on, AHH SO SCARED. No pain, No gain, No brain xx
so brave for sharing! what year did you go to newbridge? I went there too! Xx
thank you, I was admitted in 2017 October I think Xxx
Stephanie has to see this!!!
I hope so 💛
I used to have an eating disorder and I just noticed I'm falling back into it . And my body says to stop but I can't. I lost almost 10 pounds this month . What do I do ? 😞
You are truly one of the nicest, sweetest, kindest and most inspirational people I've seen on UA-cam! You have absolutely no idea how much you're already helping people with your uplifting and encouraging words! I'm so incredibly proud and happy for you and I hope that despite how hard it is, you're still fighting with that amazing strength to recover! And you'll be helping others along the way without even realizing it! Sending you love and gigantic hugs 🤗🤗🤗 thank you so much for making this video, I hope it makes you feel proud of yourself!
Absolute angel!💕💖
You've no idea how much this comment means to me!!! you're too kind Xxx
when you talked about your experience of your eating disorder in the time of your life when you were running too much....you described my experience to a tee. thanks for sharing your story
You are so strong it’s so inspiring 💗
Thank you so much!! Xxx
Hi 🙂
You are so strong😘
Can you please talk about your sister's story ?
Sending love ❤️
Sure, I might do a video with her one day 💛
I used to binge and purge and my cheeks would get puffy. That was the whole reason why I stopped eating because I thought my face was to chubby. Then the purging made it worse :/
I'm really proud of you ❤️
In a state of growth if we are harmed and not given the response we need to restart our growth, it may become how we respond to ourselves. We may not realize that we reflect a polar opposite that’s just as controlling and influential as what effected us. We may reflect the lack of response as how we turn it around and prove we are more powerful. The power of how we respond shows the power of our experiences. Our growth and our person is connected to the times and ways we were harmed. How we are harmed is connected to how others treat us and who they are and that forms our response. It might be why her apple story was memorable for the control she was trying to regain not in order to harm herself but to heal and instead felt a reenactment of neglect and control at a pivotal moment. It’s possible that social media also enforces new forms of control. Even as we do good for others it may not be helping us grow in all the areas we were stopped. You are the seed that grows into the tree that forms a new apple. As a person, your environment should nurture not just body and mind but emotional well being and security.
Beautiful words!!! Xxx
Hey Jessica!!! Are you from Lancashire? I'm from Lancaster!! Thank you so much for sharing your story, you're so brave and you've come so far 💖 you've got this 💕💕💕
Yes! Thank you! that's so cool!!!
you are so beautiful ❤️ i also love love your hair too
Awe thank you your to kind 💛
so inspiring Jess, we are all behind you 💛💛
Thank you, it means a lot Xxx
well done very well done you are really inspiring me x
Stay strong 💛
I’m eating to the point where I’m not hungry and over full, I just ate 2 piece of cake, 3 cookies and a jam doughnut and after looked to bloated that I made myself throw up for the first time in ages. I’m not even considered underweight anymore and don’t fear food anymore(I’ve only had my ed since December and had only recently got worse) but I feel like I can’t stop eating crap and I’m scared to go back to being obese coz I’ve lost over 5stone in under a year due to dieting/exercise obsessions. I really need advice on how or when this cycle will stop 😕
im so sorry to here about your struggles and i completely relate!!! i felt like i could still eat just 'crap' at a healthy weight and i would just become overweight but this isn't true you just have to trust your body its just making a cushion for itself for protection and once it realises your not going to try harm it again it will let go of this cushion... just give it time to learn to trust and i promise it will get better!!! just don't compensate it will only make your body trust you less and need more of a cushion. xxx
@@Jessicakaity awh thanks for the advice, I’m still eating loads of chocolate and don’t want to stop eating but I know that it’s becoming a serious problem now but I don’t want to stop? Even though I know I will end up overweight if I don’t stop soon
You are amazing! Love your personality and your point of view.
I’m going through anorexia recovery right now and am so proud of you for doing all in💗 You are such a big inspiration to me and I wish I could just reach through the screen and give you a hug! EDs suck and are so hard to beat, but I know post-anorexia life will be so worth it!
This was truly incredible but very heartbreaking at the same time. I too struggle, I'm trying to get Beck on my feet again, it is sooooo difficult but stopping is not the way to go. I've struggled and well still am for wow... years already and I too don't want my future to be all about this anymore. I'm tired of it...but some days even that is hard to do/say. I appreciate you being soo raw and honest in this video because all of the shit you went through this far...up I've experienced. It's tough. Sooo I totally understand you there...the mental, physical and emotional. Thank you though for this. I find you very inspiring, heart felt, interesting, beautiful, funny, loving, strong and sooo courageous. You are and have been doing amazing 💗🥊👍 I loove it. I too have seen some vids outta there like Stephanie Buttermore's...it does frighten me but it's hard stuff..you can't go around recovery...you must go through it. Soo yes, your incredible..
Keep at it gurl. Love you. I admire you. Don't let others get the best of you (that includes the eating disorder as well).
p.s. how are you doing or how are you dealing this recovery/all in... especially having your sister being ill? At this point in your journey, basically?
Thank you soo much! I’m so glad you enjoyed the video! I hope you’re feeling somewhat better, repetition is the key. I actually think I’m recovered now... yes I get disordered thoughts (rarely) but I don’t engage in them and that’s what’s important 💛
@@Jessicakaity woooooow, I seen that happen soo much or to many people recovering. I'm so happy and inspired by you. Thaaaank gurl. I really want that too. It is the key.🖤Soo proud of you.
This was such a strong message
your such an inspiration to me
thank uu !
Wow, thank you, its a privilege to help Xxx
Did you lose your period and have you got it back if you did? This is what I am struggling with and want it back 😭
In this video I hadn’t got my period back yet. I lost it in 2016 but managed to get it back about 2 weeks ago! I’ve done a post on it on my insta jessica_kaity on how I got it back. But basically it will come when it’s ready, try not to stress 💛
Jessica kaity thank you so much
You are a motivation to me...keep doing!
Thank you, I will xxx
are you doing any exercising?? Im struggling with that :(
You are are a beautiful soul, both inside and out! My only issue with Steph B is that I still think she is obsessed by her looks, sometimes just looking natural without posing in gym gear without wearing tones of makeup ect ect Bare, natural and happy is beautiful!
Check out Elzani...
I have she seems very nice, thank you! Your so kind. I’m hopeless with makeup so no chance in that department 😂💛😉
Can I ask if your sister has recovered or is recovering from her eating disorder.
I’m from Lancashire too!! I recognised your accent instantly. Which part are you from?! I used to have anorexia, hope you’re doing better now x
Really??? what a coincidence, i am from Preston! hope you're well Xxx
I couldn't agree more with what you were saying about the whole 'fit-spo' thing. XX
It’s so hard to rationalise, society needs to get in shape not us 💛
Stumbled upon this and just want to say you are such a sweet, smart human! & I absolutely love your voice. Thank you for sharing your story xx
Girl you look like iza and Elle! 😍💞
Keep up the good work . Do you recommend any other UA-cam channels like yours?
Thank you. My personal favourites include Megsy recovery, Stephanie buttermore and Rebecca jane.
you’re so inspiring jess i miss you so much, hope i get to see you soon 💗
at college we’re gonna have to watch stalked by my doctor at some point 😂
I miss you soooooooo much too!!!! when lockdown is over will have to meet up Xxx
and OMG yes, my fave film ;0 Xxx
Jessica kaity looking forward to it already ;)
You’re awesome girly ❤️❤️
you are a ispiration for me thank you very much
Thank you 💛
ushe reminds me of cassy sm bro
Thanks for sharing your story! =)
My pleasure! thank you Xxx
Ooo been looking forward to hearing your story ❤️ thank you for making this video xxxx wow, exactly the same!! My big sister and my mum had an Ed before me and I NEVER imagined that I would get it!!! (my mum is still ill in her 70's)
Agreed that courgetti is the most vile food!!!
Lol, refusal of the wheelchair... #relatable.
The experience of inpatient is also so relatable too. I also picked up so many bad behaviours but also met some AMAZING friends.
So sad that because you wanted a bit of extra food they made you feel so crappy. The physical restraints are so so scary. It has also happened to me in inpatient. I really don't think they should be allowed to do this. It's so traumatic and also my head has blocked a lot of it out!!!!!!!
The control of our Ed v's professionals is soooo true. It becomes a battle of wills. So daft when we look back.
You are so so insightful and honest about what the Ed does and how sneaky and manipulative it makes us. Also actually how miserable it was in reality. That misery of exercise addiction and feeling drained and cold all of the time!!!
All of the different types of diet and quasi recovery are also so so relatable. It's transferring the control of the total restriction into obsessions about food and exercise and think it's 'healthy'.
I honestly think that you are so brave going 'all in' it's amazing and so inspirational!!!! You have to do this honestly hun, you're still young and you can make something of your life and turn this all around and go forwards. Such a healthy attitude towards food and weight, life and the future. Awwwww sweetie I am behind you all the way!!! Please never, ever give up!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙏❤️💪 Xxx
Also if you listen to Tabitha Farrar's UA-cam channel or read her book you can see that maybe the initial trampolining caused weight loss and energy defecit and that will have triggered the genetic link and the process of the migration response and the effect of starvation response in the body and mind maybe? So vital to keep above a certain weight and avoid any energy defecit. Nutritional rehabilitation is so important which is why all in and following your hunger cues either mental or physical ones is so important!!!!! Xxxx
I cnt even look at courgetti now (YUCKKK). Having a sister with an ED is challenging but I guess it gives us a different perpective. Hope your doing well and im sooooooooo glad you enjoyed the video Xxx
@@Jessicakaity awww bless you. Yes I'm doing well thank you sweetheart. It's a daily battle but one I am prepared to fight to get my life back 💪💪💪❤️❤️❤️ keep going little one. How old are you by the way?
I'm 16 Xxx
@@Jessicakaity awww bless you. So wise for someone so young!! ❤️❤️❤️ Aww recover now sweetheart while you have your youth and also you can still enjoy some teenage years if you recover now!!! 🙌❤️ Is your sister still ill or recovered?
@@harmonyhope1709 Thank you, I will try my best! unfortunately she is still very ill despite her life being consumed by her ED for a good 15 years. How are you? 💛💛💛
awesome! congrats :)
i think the worst is to have depression + anorexia because i see that most of the people that recover from anorexia its because they care about their future. someone with depression cant even see a future..
Let me say that... you are an inspiration.
Thank you for the person who you are!
Wow, thank you! That is so kind of you to say Xxx
Hi 🐞🐞
Hey Jessica! 💖
I literally came across your page yesterday and I have already binged so many of your videos 🙈
You are so inspirational and such an inspiration to me 💕
I hope this is not too personal, but I was just wondering if you could please tell me or give me an indication when someone is admitted to hospital? Like what do doctors/ professionals look at? Do they admit you if you're at a very low BMI or what? Sorry if it's too personal, I was just wondering since I am at a vey low weight apparently 🙈