I've watched your videos from the very beginning of your sobriety. The transformation from a lower, weaker, unhealthy, version of yourself, to a clear minded, bigger, stronger, and overall healthier individual is remarkable! The transformation literally began when you just quit putting ethanol into your body. You look more alive, healthy and vibrant, with each video. A true inspiration for alcoholics like myself. Wow!!
Leaving AA is the best feeling ever! Now, I finally feel like my recovery and true self is blossoming and thriving! (4.5 years sober, 1 year out of AA) I feel so much less paranoid and afraid of drinking or not doing "God's will" (whatever that means).
Ali D: Good you feel well+ sober. Feeling paranoid and fearing not doing God's will is not sth AA stands for though, but members not quite healed or sensible yet. It would honour critics of AA to distinguish btw things and not blame AA for what its members may do/say/believe. That is not valid criticism but ignorance, which is not fair and pretty boring. Your last words within brackets also seem to imply that you were in AA, got sobriety there, but did not bother to find out what God's will means. So you criticized sth you don't understand. Hopefully you don't get that treatment yourself. Not so nice.
awesome point! AA totally obsess about booze. itz a huge graphic bar with no booze! I run for 1hr per day. go jogging +ur brain mends. then wen u mend, u get busy doing. +who needs their ears ringing with Bill's 100yo cult idea of his higher power? self confidence is all the power I need. cheers to sobriety!
I’ve struggled with going to AA myself. I’ve been sober 15 months and I’ve stopped attending meetings. I’ve been told that I will relapse because of my inactivity in the community. I am in my love with myself too. Some people in the sober community are so militant on the AA way. You’re right it becomes their religion. I’ve found what works for me. Thanks for sharing.
People in AA make you feel Bad they think it’s one size Fits all and it really doesn’t, I got told that I will relapse because of me not being to committed to AA meetings , well I was committed to stay sober and I did and leaving AA is the best Feeling because it is just a Cult and becomes to much and to invasive it’s almost like Alcoholics not so anonymous because it becomes so in your face and could make you relapse, it’s the words people say to you and how people reminisce and can just bring back bad feelings. They also say if you don’t do it the AA way then your a failure. no no no . No way because a lot of people just do it on their own because it is a personal thing
You will relapse due to the Alcohol Deprivation Effect, not because you don't go to AA meetings. Forced abstinence actually make cravings worse over time and all but guarantees relapse. Please research "The Sinclair Method" a clinically proven method of treating AUD with a targeted dosage regime using Naltrexone (a cheap, non addictive opiate antagonist) The Sinclair Method has a clinically proven success rate of 78%
My experience was suffering from mental illness even while sober. I needed mental health first. I also felt I dare not ever question or disagree with the A A program and felt like a failure. Now I'll continue to try with methods and treatments that work better for me. Ty
I agree and identify with everything said here. I found the meetings cliquey and revolving around the nonsense that a “higher power” was responsible for my sobriety instead of my own hard work and determination. I don’t believe in medieval nonsense (religion) in the first place. I also didn’t like the idea of expecting to have a “sponser”. Talk about fostering co-dependency! And I also noticed certain members tossing around AA jargon and catch phrases all too frequently so as to somehow indicate how “devout” they were. The whole thing reminded me of attending church services........glad I no longer go. I’m fine and sober without it.
Right on dude! There's a real movement out there of people who got sober, then left AA. There's tons. I am one of them who recently freed myself from the bondage of "the program". I've been sober for a bit over a year and what you said about the 12 month time frame really hit me. I wonder if it's ironic that they say "use these 12 steps" and for me I just used about 12 months. Now I did work the steps with a sponsor and went to literally hundreds of meetings (one day I went to seven). I read the Big Book (164) and I did, in fact, 'drink the kool-aid'. I agree with you 100% about doing what works for each of us. I think part of the issue with AA is that some people get so entrenched into the program that they lose sight of using their own free will to think. People that say it's a form of brainwashing are right. It is. Read the same passages over and over and over.... Chime in unison to things that are read such as "....and God could and would if he were sought." And "practice these principles in all our affairs". I think if you're in AA and you like it, want it and you believe that you need it, then stay. You just might need it. But if you're someone who has not yet lost the ability to think for yourself, then do that. We were all born with a brain that then developed, and in life we HAVE to use it.....all the time, especially in recovery because there may be times that thoughts of using alcohol or drugs creep there way in to your head. So I use my brain, which is clear and operates rather well these days, to DECIDE not to succumb to those urges. When I decided to stop drinking, I did just that. I stopped. When I got a little squirrely 2-3 weeks in to it, I began seeking out other people who were on the same path as I wanted to be on --- sober. That's where the whole AA thing started for me. So I can say I got sober with or in AA, but now that I've achieved that - now that I'm recovered, I think I'll just go back to living MY life. The one where I make choices and I use my brain as everyone who has free will and can still think straight should. Keep up the good work K, you're very inspiring and you absolutely helped me today. Thank you.
Hope u are well, bro. Nine years sober here, and I did the first 5 in AA. It took me 5 years to realize your rule of 12 months.lol After 5 years I looked up one day and said, "wtf am I still doing talking about shit I did 5 years ago." It was quite liberating, and I've never been back.
I tried so hard to do AA because I was under the impression that it was the only way that I could get better. This last time I went, the mind control became to much. When the solution to all my problems is a chant from the big book who was written by a man who got sober by using lsd and doing witchcraft and seances and was a womanizer and a chain smoker, its ridiculous. I was told over and over I had to get a sponsor and I did, but the controlling nature of the group was too much for me. They gave me a hard time If I didn't go to a meeting when I work full time, go to school and have a family to take care of. I realized that it's not right for me and there are other options for me
I experienced the backlash of not going to as many meetings as they wanted me to, as well. They do not seem to understand that not everyone can make that program their life.
I'm a bit over three years since i got sober and i totally relate to what you are saying, i don't heal in groups and i didn't like AA methods, i don't dig how a big part of their philosophy has to do with guilt and self shaming, i think it takes away the responsibility of your actions when you declare that you are not in control of your addiction because everyone is. i have gotten rid of four big addictions through my life and all i can say is we do it it to ourselves and only ourselves can stop it.
I totally agree - one of the things that made me realise AA shouldn't be part of my journey anymore was when I was asked to give over all responsibility to this 'disease'. I wanted to take responsibility to I could tackle the problem myself but AA took that away from me.
Absolutely, i bump into members n they start interrogating me and trying scare tactics n making me feel guilty, im still recovering from AA talk about a bottom
SMART RECOVERY is something I will casually attend through my journey but I've realized that consistently going out in nature keeps me on the same level as well. So look into it and may help you guys if anyone is in early sobriety this group is for any type of addictive behavior also focuses on management not like you have to never touch something again it's up to you
@@johnkenny694 Follow your own conscience. No one is telling you or anyone you have to go to AA. You have free will. Do what you want. But if you need their help, they will be there to help you.
I really appreciate this video. I attended by first AA meeting just under 2 years ago and have 'relapsed' approximately once every 2 months since being in and out of meetings. I do think there is a reason why I didn't want to give myself over to the programme and didn't put it down to just not trying hard enough. I've started going to a local charity that helps with addiction and it has given me strategies to be independent and live everyday life, and actually take responsibility for my alcohol problems. This was about a month ago and I already feel so much more relaxed and happy with life. Peace :) x
I've been going off and on for 4 years. I know how you feel...... go to aa ! My longest sobber was 4 months, and lately, i said "fuck it" Never felt so free!
I found this video at the right moment. I feel like I could've given an identical presentation. My sponsor is pressuring me and is coming off like such an aa fundie and I cannot see past the culty vibe. I am 41 days sober (this time) and on my 4th earnest go at the program and am doing amazing. The only thing fucking me with me is the pressure of aa! My freshly fired sponsor literally said to me that if I don't go to more meetings that my sobriety "won't work". How dare she play "God" and tell me what will or won't work for me. I have a full time job and 2 preschoolers. Kiss my ass!
If you read the big book you will notice that it doesn't say anything about a sponsor. Read how it works and into action, or don't. 25 years sober with no sponsor.
@@0906blue Dr. Bob a founder of AA sponsored 4000 alcoholics. He helped them get sober via the steps. In the beginning there were not 12 steps but just five musts and two suggestions that were highly suggested. Sponsorship was a given. You couldn't come into AA back in the beginning 25 years without a sponsor. Not just any ole tire kicker could come into AA to test drive the car so to speak. It was serious business back then. Life or death. No time for fooling around with chronic "slippers". Please let that poster know that the way you did it was very uncommon and not the method used my the vast majority of AA's to get and stay sober. Thanks for reading.
Thank you for this video. I went to a few meetings and there were people there that had been sober for over 30 years. I think that's awesome but on the other hand I found it really odd that they still felt the need to go 3 or 4 times a week. It becomes a social club for some. I hope that doesn't come off wrong but I think from some of the comments I read that people will understand what I'm trying to say.
Kyle, when you made your very first video, you looked like some lost teenager that just got out of jail! In this video you look so handsome and fit and you look and talk like an intelligent winner! Being sober has turned you into an awesome dude! The difference is astounding!
Just gotta say, as a recovering addict of 3 years, that this helped me a lot. I've had to explain to people so much why group therapy and NA or any other meetings didn't work for me, and it got tiring. I'm definitely subscribing.
I feel like if you left AA but were still on the path of sobriety on your own, and called up someone from AA for support, they would treat you differently than if you were going to meetings regularly. And they would just push meetings on you rather than just being support and being a friend and respecting your decision.
Hey man! Congrats on your recovery, and I'm glad I came across your channel. I have 5.5 years and do mental health and addiction recovery stuff on my channel too. I have some replies, but I want to make it pretty clear first and foremost that I don't do AA anymore, so don't think that's where I'm coming from. I was super involved in the program my first 3 years or so, and then I drifted away. I just wanted to reply and offer another perspective as someone who now works at a rehab and has literally worked with thousands of alcoholics and addicts. I hope I don't come off like a dick, but I do want to chime in just in case it might help others who come across this video. 1. The saying I hate the most in AA is "meeting makers make it", because it's not true. AA isn't about the meetings. I always say that I "tried" AA with BIG quotations when I share my story. I didn't try anything. I went to meetings and that was it. And it sounds like that may have been what you did too, which brings up the next topic. 2. You prefer one-on-one more than groups. I feel the same, that's why I got a sponsor and worked the steps. That gave me the one-on-one that I needed, and I started replacing meetings with just working with my sponsor, which is pretty much a free therapist. 3. The religious overtone. I get it man. I fucking get it more than you know. It made me so uncomfortable I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin every time they did a prayer or mentioned God. Still to this day, I'm not religious, but I found spirituality. I highly recommend you check out a book called Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion by an atheist by the name of Sam Harris (super smart dude). I was able to find my spirituality without it having to be "god". One way of doing this is through meditation. Meditators find their "higher power" to be a higher form of themselves. 4. I'm 100% on whatever program works for people, do it. I tell my clients that all the time. Hell, that's why I switched things up too. I often say, "I don't care what program you work, just work A program." Whether that's therapy, meditation, other support groups whatever works. The reason why videos like yours worry me is because I've seen this play out a million times and more often than not it doesn't end well. While I hope for the best and wish you the best, I just hope you're doing something that continues to grow you as a person and builds up resilience. I see people with clean time relapse all the time for one primary reason: They forget their an alcoholic or an addict. When they pull away from the program, it's a matter of time until they're at a concert, work party, a wedding or whatever it is and the voice comes in that says "Yeah, I can just have one drink." I'm very fortunate that I work at a rehab and am very active on my UA-cam channel so I never forget that I have this thing that can potentially kill me. You're killing it man, and I wish you the best. Maybe we can even collab some time. The last thing I'll leave you with is something I had to humble myself to do on a daily basis, which is my way of thinking gets me in trouble. Albert Einstein said, "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them."
Very insightful. Thanks. Just got a new sponsor and I think he respects my dreams and ambitions and the fact I don't want to do meetings daily. I will try to work the steps instead of feeling guilty for not making a meeting daily
Thing i didnt like bout AA was to much emphasis was put on exactly how long you have been sober. So everyone speaks of the exact number of days,years,hours etc they have been sober. Relapse is part of recovery so if you say you have 2 years sober but slip up 1 day you are shunned and start all over again at 0 days. The fact is if youve been drinking almost every day as an alcoholic and youve slipped 1 day out of 2 years you are doing incredibly well. But their so into numbers and days etc and have to start all over again i just didnt like that part.
I see and agree with many of your points! I go to AA, realistically because hearing other people’s stories keeps me sober. They’re terrifying. I need that reinforcement until it’s a habit to stay sober and to not drink. I also hit recovery dharma and refugee recovery as well. Totally agree with hardcore members wanting you to do what worked for them. That mindset is no different than others trying to convert you to Christianity. You’ve said it better than many.
This video is really worth watching if you have doubts about AA. I looked into the AA approach and honestly couldn't see myself firstly sitting in meetings daily but more connecting my alcoholism in some way to God. Im an alcoholic because I cannot control my behaviour when I consume alcohol. This is something I personally need to deal with if I am ever going to break free. I personally struggle with the idea of giving yourself over to a higher power to heal. Bottom line, whatever works for you is what works, but for me I found it alone and by been honest with myself. Great video Kyle..
My cousin kicked her drug addiction to crack alone. She did attend NA just like you but it did not work for her either. Good for you for finding an alternative.
I understand you 100%. I am an individual and it's not because I want to be, it's the way I am, I'm leaving AA, it helped me in the beginning but it niggles be too much and doesn't add up, I don't like relying on it, it takes my power away, I'm getting stronger and meeting a wide range of people in life! All the best!
OK... my thoughts and I only speak for myself. (Stage 1) Recovery Centers got me safely detoxed. (Stage 2) AA kept me sober purely by repetition of attending meetings while my mind defogged "i.e" Ctrl+Alt+Delete my default alcoholic habits. The difficulty for me in AA after a period of time, was my quality of life and emotional well being was stagnant if not declining. Almost like living in constant emotional/mental anguish. Never addressing root cause. I was Sober but miserable. When I payed attention to others like myself, a lot people in AA meetings shared their emotional dilemmas time after time for years and they never seemed to improve. AA basis of a spiritual malady is nonsense. I was 12 years old when I started drinking alcoholically. Who the hell knows what spirituality is at 12? (Stage 3) Life long personal and continued self understanding and growth outside of AA.
AA would rather you victimize yourself than feel happy for who you are becoming. They want to see you sober but not truly happy. It’s weird. People at AA meetings (not all) give me hater vibes. It’s a way to control people and get them to feel sorry for themselves. For some it works, but for me it seemed really depressing hearing everyone’s sad stories.
I totally agree with you. I DO NOT like AA for all the same reasons. I got so stressed out during those meetings at AA that I usually went STRAIGHT to the liquor store after the meetings!
AA is not all about quitting drinking. It's about living a life of service. Thats why people continue to go years after putting the drink down. To be there to help others. If everybody left after a year of sobriety, there wouldn't be anyone there for the newcomers. Also, I'm in AA and I'm an atheist.
So I went to few aa meetings and I'm still New, a month yesterday. I work full time, have kids, have some cultural things I do now and going to aa meeting seem like to much work now. I'm tired after work, I want to rest and I'm an introverted person so meeting all these people and being told to open up in aa and then told to "ck in" everyday with my sponser.. like why?? Its exhausting and I haven't gone bk.. it takes a lot of time. Thx
You're not willing to go to any lengths to get and stay sober. When we were out drinking I would do whatever it took to go to the bar or get a drink. Can we at least put the same effort into AA as we did drinking?
@@rodneyjohnson7327 How do you know they aren't sober? You literally sound like the people I've come across in AA. NO identity just spewing the exact same words/phrases and looking down on others for THEIR life decisions.
@@kendrawickware2438 I'm not looking down on others. I'm just tired of watching people die or go back out drinking after coming into AA. The success rates of AA have declined over the decades. But it's not because AA doesn't work, it's because people don't work the program the way the Big Book describes. AA isn't group therapy. It's a spiritual program of action. If the writer is a real alcoholic, she will be drinking again soon. But if she is just a problem drinker, alcohol abuser, party animal, binge drinker or hard drinker, etc... she might be able to stop and stay stopped without the AA program. But if she is the real alcoholic AA is the only solution.
@@kendrawickware2438 You are also very naive and lacking in experience. Yet thinking being caring and nice or going to get and keep an alcoholic sober. You are wrong. Dead wrong. Your approach however nice, will kill a real alcoholic. Please, if you have any decency and conscience stay out of AA.
I don't like the meetings. I dont feel like dealing with the rude people which i have encountered. I had this thought of what your saying in the back of my mind today and I came across your video .I certainly like the feeling of being clean.thats one day at a time lol I wont be drinking and saying im not, the truth is the truth you know. What would be the purpose of quiting?Thanks for sharing your views. To me It's a broader way of seeing it.
I am an atheist and always found 12 steps to be very religion based. I am also an introvert and do much better with 1 on 1 but the aa people in my family are very solipsistic and push their narrative........ it has been a wedge in our relationship since 1996 when they started to try to push me to go to meetings......... every interaction feels like I'm playing a manipulation game with the prize being my sanity. It reminded me of a past friend who I let go because of constant pressure from him to join a pyramid scheme or a guy who I worked with who was a born again and constantly pushing his religion ....... its unfortunate. Great Video! Thanks Brother!
~Yes, this is exactly how i feel!~I quit a 10 year hard drug habit on my own, doing my own 'program' that i came up with, and it was literally the happiest time in my life!~AA people would tell me how im gonna relapse, even tho they had relapsed, but i never did!~(15 years)~
Every item I went AA I ended up wanting to to get wasted even more. I never felt I could lose control or that it would be ok if I effed up! Thanks for this: it’s confirmed my doubts and knowing that it’s ok to feel how I feel. I didn’t even realise that you have to attend meetings all the time. I much prefer being a hermit and exploring spiritual practice and this has kept me off drugs! Anyway my health fitness and doses of Jordon Peterson vid keeps me on the straight and narrow! Thanks dude.
When I got into a solid meditation, that is far better than anything chemical. It is work (not instant gratification), but time well spent undoubtedly.
All that matters is you are not killing yourself with drugs and alcohol. I tried to hang in there. I am desperately miserable in AA. I did the steps. I have to move on and out of AA.
I would like to see a video on your workouts or if you have any advice on a more healthier life style and what your routine is. I find myself watching videos about health since I’m now sober. 😀
I have been in and out of AA since the late 90's. No matter how much I try to lie and says works. It doesn't work for me. I find a CBT model like SMART works much better for me.
My experience was I never got help for agoraphobia. I rarely left the house and so needed mental health and now learning my own spiritual beliefs which I feel aren't exclusive
Although AA helped me get sober. There’s a lot of issues that I don’t agree with. First was the social aspect. I am an introvert and don’t do well with approaching strangers. There are rude people in AA but not all of them. I’ve experienced pressures to do service work and district work when I’m not comfortable or even far enough in my sobriety for it. A lot of narcissism and dogmatism goes on in the rooms, that their way is the only way. Fear that if you don’t go to meetings everyday or pray everyday that you are going to relapse. I’ve chosen a recovery method that has worked for me and only me, and I have a sponsor that helps me more on the spiritual side of it rather than the actual AA side. I’ve admitted I am a true alcoholic, but I have other issues I need to heal that AA can’t help me with.
I am in complete agreement with you! I experienced the same type of pressure to socialize/do service work, etc. as an introvert. I just could not stand it and also got tired of hearing that I was isolating when I was just spending time in solitude and trying to recharge. When by myself, I was not constantly thinking about drinking as they kept saying.
I was in and out AA for 10 years, i stopped drinking and went back to AA then drank again because the vibe was so bad. I can't listen to past drinking experiences anymore. People all talk the same, no open minds. Im changing my whole routine to get off this booze, im microdosing with shrooms too❤
3:02 “…meetings for foreseeably the rest of your life…I’ve done over 50 AAs, most court appointed… don’t do well in group therapy…” etc etc. It’s an absolute shame that this is what AA for the most part has devolved into, what I describe as poorly run group (talk) therapy, which is pretty much what the focus is in treatment centers (medical hospitals…) 🤔hmm, why so…? “working a 12 step step program” has NOTHING to do with meetings whatsoever. Don’t take my not-so-humble experience based opinion for it. On pg. 59 of the book titled Alocoholics Anonymous it says “Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery.” No mention of group therapy anywhere on the list!! I encountered the tampered/tempered version of AA you spoke about and it nearly killed me. Thank God I met a man who unashamedly showed me that it, AA is a 12 step spiritual program of action that offers a fellowship where it’s convenient to share this with other “seemingly hopeless” types. Oh and by the way, not everyone in an AA meeting is an alcoholic as described in the aforementioned book. But ahh, who needs old outdated books anyway, they’re full of worthless nonsense unlike my hat rack full of wisdom!!! (famous last words of many a REAL alcoholic)
I've been clean and sober for Four years without aa or rehab. I was an alcoholic drug addict for over twenty years. For me God delivered me because it was past the point of me giving up by myself. Drinking at least two bottles of hard alcohol and smoking two boxes of cigarettes a day. So yeah. If you are no religious then that might not appeal to people who don't believe in miracles. I also don't feel that Aa is something that would help me. 💪💯
Meshing with people hits hard for me honestly, find it extremely difficult to be open-minded and willing to be in room of people when certain individuals are nothing but toxic ( or known fact they don't like you and you don't like put simple) time and time again it honesty builds in tension within oneself to the point your better off to avoid the meetings they go to. ''Principles before Personalities'' Not like the Pub/Bar/Tavern where if you don't like someone or their toxic you can easily just jump ship to another ''Bar'' depending on where you live and from, some towns with smaller populations may only have 1-2 meetings a week where I can beat your bottom dollar that they will be filled with similar characters. Add the above with the fact it ''get's old'' only time I saw the characters in the meetings was literally at meetings for the most part only a few people that actually hanged out with and had fun times I actually still keep in touch with on that note it very difficult to transition from partying life style with the troubles to go with it to come to meetings where that not the case whatsoever. Reliability is generally how human beings get along with one another there honestly was very few people that came into the meetings from my background not so much looking for ''differences'' but there is massive difference between getting arrested for stupidity and losing your house, moreover to do with ''adventure''. Once I came to put these all facts together ( that I know as ''for me'') I ceased to enter back into meetings at all, sick of the mind games sick of fake people that are not genuine ( put on a fake smile), keep everything kosher here type of attitude to once again get smacked again by adversary when I turn a blind corner.
Wow,thank-you for sharing you, re Journey through the A.A experience.I have felt the Very same way, that you have, & people kept trying to convert me to keep going back into the program. Every time I would go back in, it just felt unhealthy for me!Not how I wanted to represent myself in my world. I’m much happier doing it my way, which I found!!I am 4- yr plus sober& have No desire to drink!!.. Maybe I just needed confirmation from someone that it’s perfectly ok.. to do it my way😊🌸
We become what we think about if you think in positive terms you will get positive results if you think in negative terms you get negative results. If your hang around negative people you will get negative results set goals and only associate with postive like minded people thats what's kept me sober for 9 years. Find out if you have mental health issues and ADHD thats a huge part of why people drink to begin with ADHD is a chemical imbalance which means you have low adoipimne. Alcohol was the solution not the problem Check and see if you have a mental illness and work on that. Great video keep growing and congrats on staying sober its hard at times and AA didn't work for me I did it on my own
I’ve been sober for almost 5 years. I am not going to identify myself as an addict or alcoholic, that’s ridiculous. I did AA for a year, then one day I looked around and I was like wtf am I doing here?? Like not to belittle anyone’s experience but I was a hardcore junky, I was homeless for 5 years, I have 6 felonies, I’ve been in and out of rehab and AA many times, like 99% of people have no clue what that’s like. How am I going to take suggestions from someone who hit rock bottom while they were attending college, living in an apartment paid for by mom and dad, and never went to rehab? Whats kept me sober is the idea that I don’t want to suffer again. When I was using I was suffering beyond belief. That’s enough for me to stay sober.
Ps no wonder you don't like aa meetings if you were sent by a court under duress. Would you go again if the option was presented or would you go to prison?
AA is useful if you find social groups outside of intoxication. Also, that ancient book is actually quite informative. It's basically just real world testamonies about crazy alcoholics in the year 1930 who turned it around. But the meetings can be crazy. Keep on keeping on!
The thing that a lot of people in AA overlook is that there is only one REQUIREMENT to be a member, and that is that you must have a desire to stop drinking. Everything else is a suggestion. What I struggle with are those who want to shove sponsorship down your throat. Everybody might not need a sponsor, just like everyone doesn't need GOD, to stop drinking. Although I'm bias because I believe in God, I respect someone's right no to. As long your not drinking, you shouldn't have to fill alienate at an AA meeting just because 'm not taking all of the suggestions. They don't seem to even care that I I'm sober for over three years doing it my way.
Set up your own fellowship if you are bothered by people not being interested in the fact you are 3 years sober. I have been sober 21 years and most people aren't really interested by that fact after about 10 seconds. In aa few people are interested as it is usually in a room of sober alcoholics, so nothing special in one way, although pretty amazing like your 3 years in another way.
Were you ever praying to God when you were getting pissed in the Bar? Where you praying to God when you were partying your fucking brains out? But now you are a phony Bible Basher!!
My dad got sober for 24 years with AA! Then he went on a cruise and lied to his whole family. He was going for a couple of months to AA... then he relapsed again. And then again, a couple night ago. He is in detox but I don’t believe he wants to be there. If he didn’t go, he would be under a bridge. Why?! It’s a disease but why now? What changed? He knows what he can loose but he isn’t helping himself for himself. 😥
AA groups are religion based and that totally would never work for me. Been to some of those and the self proclaimed cult leader person always abuses his or her position and acts like a jerk forcing the Christian god on people that just makes me incredibly angry.
It does mention discussing things with people and meeting up with other alcoholics and trying to carry the message to other alcoholics. I.e. tell othet people if aa grounds is helping you. Well said though.
Only a whole chapter ("Working with others")and more...they termed it differently. Sponsorship and meeting work have sadly decreased with the coming of mobile phones etc and the sickness and addiction they bring.Ppl do the step work superficially and sloppily, and sponsors take short-cuts guiding openly in the steps, but not really engaging in the sponsee and looking where they are coming from at start, like the chapter"Working with others" clearly instructs. I give that we today are weaker than in -36, but think the adversary of man has tricked them. The BB is about walking the steps, os maybe that is why the meetings are not mentioned. There need not be plates and cutlery in cookery books either.
@@Medietos page 13 & 14 big book. The key is that sobriety/recovery is based on your own relationship with your higher power, not other people or another particular person. We share or discuss with people/humans. The book sets out precisely how to recover and the spiritual program of recovery.
@@Medietos ps the chapter suggests getting the new person to read the whole big book and to then wait to see if they come back to you and want to go through step 5 with you. If not, leave them to it. Don't prod or push. I find that i am keener than newcomers and have to hold back a bit.
@@stubdo16 :I meant where the sponsor finds out about the sponsees background, talks to the family to find out what personality he is to better approach and help, and being tactful but straight/honest, and prepared to sponsor at all times. I know one can't expect that in today's stress, but still react to sponsors claiming to sponsor out of the Big book. Most are cold, not interested who or how I am, Just want to do the program, even though I say I need sponsoring to first get some sleep, food, structure a little better, in order to have energy for step work When I refer to that chapter, they look like Q marks, and the feeling I get is, they have not read that chapter, much less do they know it.I get that they can't leave their home open, give a bit of money, an d be available at nïght on the phone. but a little personal connection, meetings and care is needed... My sponsors have mostly been on he phone only, which is OK for ppl with a normal, social life..
AA and NA worked better for me when I was first around. I only attend them now and then because a lot of the sharing and where people are at, dosen't move on. If you have recovery and keepon growing it can feel as though that person is "doing it wrong" because they are growing, changing, moving on and the core of the group members don't change, grow or move on. I also hate it when people say in AA that you can't mention drugs or the NA members don't like people mentioning AA...we're dying of a disease and arrogant members think they can play God and call the shots on what works for other people...I don't think so. I tend to go to Al-Anon, ACA, OA and CODA meetings because they are more respectful and have clarity statements read out about not cross sharing or advice giving.
Your sobriety will be enhanced if you make your bed every day. It starts your day with an accomplishment and makes your room look more organized. Take control.
If you are a real alcoholic healing on your own won't work long term. Lifting weights and body building is a nice hobby. A distraction really. Something to keep you occupied. Kind of like people that attend a lot of AA meetings but don't have a program of recovery and have never worked all the steps. Meetings keep them occupied but doesn't last. BUT it doesn't replace a program of recovery through AA.
I stopped feeling safe in AA been going hard core in AA for the first three years then went less and less and even less in the last year. The drama is the most so much drama it will drive you to drink. All those people and nobody to talk to.
Many people can do it on their own. But you wouldn't count 10 years sober without AA a valuable time right? It has to have some AA in it so that it would mean sth. Yeah, I know..
Grew up in meetings. Developed a drinking problem for like 6-7 years. Quit. Went to two meetings, one in jail to get out of the cell. Couldn't stomach the religion. If I wanted church, I'd fucking go.
OK so it seems that this guy has not grasped the concept of the meetings which is about a different way of living. He also said that a guy was trying to get him to attend the meetings. In the AA book it says not to pressure the person (alcoholic) but instead let them come to their own conclusions. I wonder if people are negative about AA because some of its members and sponsors are not truly following the AA principals completely.
Aww the cat ❤️ I didn’t find aa worked and the rehab I went to was totally centered about aa. I went there wanting inspiration and I did get that off most people there but found the meetings a bit dark at times likes of incest and heavy stuff brought up, them issues should of been confided in a professional or close friend. Put me off watching older men look totally uncomfortable. Seen a death notice for a man I’d pick up local for aa had died last week RIP Micheal John xxx
Beware of the 13th steppers, Its very real and totally disgusting. Sex offenders are in there and the fact that they CLAIM to be sober are suspect. They look for people they can take advantage of and AA does not let them down.
This is a big problem everywhere. Creepy middle-aged and elderly men get to talk to attractive women who would not give them the time of day under any other circumstances.
I went to AA for years until I wised up and realised half the "congregation" were predatory 13 steppers and the other half, so called "old timers", were only interested in out doing each other while sharing. I could never stay sober in AA but I've been sober without it for 15 years following a course of science based secular CBT.
Good video. I like group therapy personally. One on one becomes a chess match for me. The fellowship can be a little overwhelming. And yes half 9f the people are lying about there sobriety date. People usually figure that out after the first few years. Lol cool taco t bro! I think sobriety dates are counter productive and unnecessary. I say I am either drinking or not. And I just not to.
OK, so I can respect your personal feeling about not being comfortable in a group environment and talking in the same environment. Valid point. But I am sure you have heard many times that it is a "spiritual, not religious" program of recovery. Most people hear the words about "the God of your understanding" and immediately go on the attack of it being a "religious cult". Perhaps if people could actually get some informed data, they would have a better understanding of the actual difference between Religion and Spirituality. I personally don't agree with everything I hear at meetings, but often hear a perspective I never considered. AA / NA is not just about not using - its about the recovery from the damage we have done to ourselves and loved ones. If we don't know whats wrong - how do we fix it? We successfully lied to ourselves all the time when using, so are we going to take our own advice when trying to stop? JMO
I'm glad you said AA doesn't work for you. That's the absolute truth AA doesn't work for anyone. I've been sober and happy as hell because I WORK FOR AA. I was a the grocery store and a lady behind me buying vodka said AA didn't work for her either. When I explained AA is for real alcoholic people and we work 12 steps to stay sober and sane at the same time. I work fo AA. She described the car she was driving and as I left the parking I saw she was behind me. I stopped to let a family of 4 cross the street, she was barrelling towards me. I was able to learn forward enough for her not to hit my car, but who knows if the drunk lady who left AA would have run over that family of 4 if I hadn't been a sober alcoholic. Good luck to you, I often 12 step alcoholic people when think they have a better way.
I heard that same shit in a "speaker" meeting and it honestly was the straw that broke the camel's back of your disgusting killer organization that has a 5-10 percent success rate by your own GSO numbers.. Your whole thing about "working for AA" is patronizing and condescending. Hey, you should not even be watching videos like this. You're clearly not spiritually fit. I'm telling your sponsor.
I've watched your videos from the very beginning of your sobriety. The transformation from a lower, weaker, unhealthy, version of yourself, to a clear minded, bigger, stronger, and overall healthier individual is remarkable! The transformation literally began when you just quit putting ethanol into your body.
You look more alive, healthy and vibrant, with each video. A true inspiration for alcoholics like myself.
Wow!!
Leaving AA is the best feeling ever! Now, I finally feel like my recovery and true self is blossoming and thriving! (4.5 years sober, 1 year out of AA) I feel so much less paranoid and afraid of drinking or not doing "God's will" (whatever that means).
Good for you girl.
Ali D: Good you feel well+ sober. Feeling paranoid and fearing not doing God's will is not sth AA stands for though, but members not quite healed or sensible yet. It would honour critics of AA to distinguish btw things and not blame AA for what its members may do/say/believe. That is not valid criticism but ignorance, which is not fair and pretty boring. Your last words within brackets also seem to imply that you were in AA, got sobriety there, but did not bother to find out what God's will means. So you criticized sth you don't understand. Hopefully you don't get that treatment yourself. Not so nice.
@@Medietos It sounds like critical thinking to me.....!
I will start uploading Supporting videos about this topic. Come check them out. I hope they will help.
Well your still doing AA, only now on fucktube, which might be better for a paranoid Bible basher hater! AA is a sicko shit hole.
This is EXACTLY how I feel! Why bother quitting drinking if you are still going to think and talk about it ALL THE TIME???
Thank you. I thought I was the only one who felt that way.
This is why i never was fully in it after 4 years..... count the days/ i am an alcoholic! Daily? What kinda life is that in the end.
awesome point! AA totally obsess about booze. itz a huge graphic bar with no booze! I run for 1hr per day. go jogging +ur brain mends. then wen u mend, u get busy doing. +who needs their ears ringing with Bill's 100yo cult idea of his higher power? self confidence is all the power I need. cheers to sobriety!
My father siad it best. ne day at a meeting he said "Hell we didn't get drunk with people like this, why in the hell would we hang aound them sober."
I’ve struggled with going to AA myself. I’ve been sober 15 months and I’ve stopped attending meetings. I’ve been told that I will relapse because of my inactivity in the community. I am in my love with myself too. Some people in the sober community are so militant on the AA way. You’re right it becomes their religion. I’ve found what works for me. Thanks for sharing.
You can do it without AA.
I get that militant vibe as well.
People in AA make you feel Bad they think it’s one size Fits all and it really doesn’t, I got told that I will relapse because of me not being to committed to AA meetings , well I was committed to stay sober and I did and leaving AA is the best Feeling because it is just a Cult and becomes to much and to invasive it’s almost like Alcoholics not so anonymous because it becomes so in your face and could make you relapse, it’s the words people say to you and how people reminisce and can just bring back bad feelings. They also say if you don’t do it the AA way then your a failure. no no no . No way because a lot of people just do it on their own because it is a personal thing
You will relapse due to the Alcohol Deprivation Effect, not because you don't go to AA meetings. Forced abstinence actually make cravings worse over time and all but guarantees relapse.
Please research "The Sinclair Method" a clinically proven method of treating AUD with a targeted dosage regime using Naltrexone (a cheap, non addictive opiate antagonist)
The Sinclair Method has a clinically proven success rate of 78%
@@stevecooper7038 thats bullshit sorry
My experience was suffering from mental illness even while sober. I needed mental health first. I also felt I dare not ever question or disagree with the A A program and felt like a failure. Now I'll continue to try with methods and treatments that work better for me. Ty
I agree and identify with everything said here. I found the meetings cliquey and revolving around the nonsense that a “higher power” was responsible for my sobriety instead of my own hard work and determination. I don’t believe in medieval nonsense (religion) in the first place. I also didn’t like the idea of expecting to have a “sponser”. Talk about fostering co-dependency! And I also noticed certain members tossing around AA jargon and catch phrases all too frequently so as to somehow indicate how “devout” they were. The whole thing reminded me of attending church services........glad I no longer go. I’m fine and sober without it.
This is a misuse of religion...
Bunch of phonies no one really cared for me anyway in the room cause I always questioned things and people were afraid and they had to shun me
Right on dude! There's a real movement out there of people who got sober, then left AA. There's tons. I am one of them who recently freed myself from the bondage of "the program". I've been sober for a bit over a year and what you said about the 12 month time frame really hit me. I wonder if it's ironic that they say "use these 12 steps" and for me I just used about 12 months. Now I did work the steps with a sponsor and went to literally hundreds of meetings (one day I went to seven). I read the Big Book (164) and I did, in fact, 'drink the kool-aid'.
I agree with you 100% about doing what works for each of us. I think part of the issue with AA is that some people get so entrenched into the program that they lose sight of using their own free will to think. People that say it's a form of brainwashing are right. It is. Read the same passages over and over and over.... Chime in unison to things that are read such as "....and God could and would if he were sought." And "practice these principles in all our affairs".
I think if you're in AA and you like it, want it and you believe that you need it, then stay. You just might need it. But if you're someone who has not yet lost the ability to think for yourself, then do that. We were all born with a brain that then developed, and in life we HAVE to use it.....all the time, especially in recovery because there may be times that thoughts of using alcohol or drugs creep there way in to your head. So I use my brain, which is clear and operates rather well these days, to DECIDE not to succumb to those urges.
When I decided to stop drinking, I did just that. I stopped. When I got a little squirrely 2-3 weeks in to it, I began seeking out other people who were on the same path as I wanted to be on --- sober. That's where the whole AA thing started for me. So I can say I got sober with or in AA, but now that I've achieved that - now that I'm recovered, I think I'll just go back to living MY life. The one where I make choices and I use my brain as everyone who has free will and can still think straight should.
Keep up the good work K, you're very inspiring and you absolutely helped me today.
Thank you.
Are you still sober Tim?
Hope u are well, bro. Nine years sober here, and I did the first 5 in AA. It took me 5 years to realize your rule of 12 months.lol After 5 years I looked up one day and said, "wtf am I still doing talking about shit I did 5 years ago." It was quite liberating, and I've never been back.
Leaving AA is the best feeling ever! Now I finally feel like my recovery and true self is blossoming and thriving! (4.5 years sober, 1 year out of AA)
I tried so hard to do AA because I was under the impression that it was the only way that I could get better. This last time I went, the mind control became to much. When the solution to all my problems is a chant from the big book who was written by a man who got sober by using lsd and doing witchcraft and seances and was a womanizer and a chain smoker, its ridiculous. I was told over and over I had to get a sponsor and I did, but the controlling nature of the group was too much for me. They gave me a hard time If I didn't go to a meeting when I work full time, go to school and have a family to take care of. I realized that it's not right for me and there are other options for me
Love it! I feel the same way
Don't do AA until you hit Rock bottom! clubbers are fucking idiots.
I experienced the backlash of not going to as many meetings as they wanted me to, as well. They do not seem to understand that not everyone can make that program their life.
There is nothing wrong with taking lsd u clearly know nothing about psychadelic drugs
I'm a bit over three years since i got sober and i totally relate to what you are saying, i don't heal in groups and i didn't like AA methods, i don't dig how a big part of their philosophy has to do with guilt and self shaming, i think it takes away the responsibility of your actions when you declare that you are not in control of your addiction because everyone is.
i have gotten rid of four big addictions through my life and all i can say is we do it it to ourselves and only ourselves can stop it.
I totally agree - one of the things that made me realise AA shouldn't be part of my journey anymore was when I was asked to give over all responsibility to this 'disease'. I wanted to take responsibility to I could tackle the problem myself but AA took that away from me.
Absolutely, i bump into members n they start interrogating me and trying scare tactics n making me feel guilty, im still recovering from AA talk about a bottom
SMART RECOVERY is something I will casually attend through my journey but I've realized that consistently going out in nature keeps me on the same level as well. So look into it and may help you guys if anyone is in early sobriety this group is for any type of addictive behavior also focuses on management not like you have to never touch something again it's up to you
In the Big book, Bill Wilson says if AA is not for you, you can try some other approach but we will be here if you need our help.
Well just because your a Alcoholic does't mean AA is for you.
@@johnkenny694 Follow your own conscience. No one is telling you or anyone you have to go to AA. You have free will. Do what you want. But if you need their help, they will be there to help you.
Come play with us Danny, 4 ever and ever and ever.......movie quote- The Shining-
I really appreciate this video. I attended by first AA meeting just under 2 years ago and have 'relapsed' approximately once every 2 months since being in and out of meetings. I do think there is a reason why I didn't want to give myself over to the programme and didn't put it down to just not trying hard enough. I've started going to a local charity that helps with addiction and it has given me strategies to be independent and live everyday life, and actually take responsibility for my alcohol problems. This was about a month ago and I already feel so much more relaxed and happy with life. Peace :) x
I've been going off and on for 4 years. I know how you feel...... go to aa ! My longest sobber was 4 months, and lately, i said "fuck it"
Never felt so free!
Fitting
No it's not too small. And AA is not a healthy room for vulnerable people needing help.
Very true
Yes. So true
I'm a 64 year old drunk/addict I agree with you, I had bad times with aa and now ??
5 MEO dMT - find a shaman and try it.
I found this video at the right moment. I feel like I could've given an identical presentation. My sponsor is pressuring me and is coming off like such an aa fundie and I cannot see past the culty vibe. I am 41 days sober (this time) and on my 4th earnest go at the program and am doing amazing. The only thing fucking me with me is the pressure of aa! My freshly fired sponsor literally said to me that if I don't go to more meetings that my sobriety "won't work". How dare she play "God" and tell me what will or won't work for me. I have a full time job and 2 preschoolers. Kiss my ass!
Hope you are doing well
If you read the big book you will notice that it doesn't say anything about a sponsor. Read how it works and into action, or don't. 25 years sober with no sponsor.
please respond did she kiss your ass
@@patrickprendergast9589 Unfortunately, no.
@@0906blue Dr. Bob a founder of AA sponsored 4000 alcoholics. He helped them get sober via the steps. In the beginning there were not 12 steps but just five musts and two suggestions that were highly suggested. Sponsorship was a given. You couldn't come into AA back in the beginning 25 years without a sponsor. Not just any ole tire kicker could come into AA to test drive the car so to speak. It was serious business back then. Life or death. No time for fooling around with chronic "slippers". Please let that poster know that the way you did it was very uncommon and not the method used my the vast majority of AA's to get and stay sober. Thanks for reading.
1:40 Dude I know EXACTLY what you mean! I got so tired of defining my life according to something I don’t even do anymore.
Absolutely, it got to the point where the meetings were doing me more harm than good
@@adamruducha7904 life is great now
My alcoholic brain/thinking/disease really pissed me off
Thank you for this video. I went to a few meetings and there were people there that had been sober for over 30 years. I think that's awesome but on the other hand I found it really odd that they still felt the need to go 3 or 4 times a week. It becomes a social club for some. I hope that doesn't come off wrong but I think from some of the comments I read that people will understand what I'm trying to say.
Kyle, when you made your very first video, you looked like some lost teenager that just got out of jail! In this video you look so handsome and fit and you look and talk like an intelligent winner! Being sober has turned you into an awesome dude! The difference is astounding!
Just gotta say, as a recovering addict of 3 years, that this helped me a lot. I've had to explain to people so much why group therapy and NA or any other meetings didn't work for me, and it got tiring. I'm definitely subscribing.
I feel like if you left AA but were still on the path of sobriety on your own, and called up someone from AA for support, they would treat you differently than if you were going to meetings regularly. And they would just push meetings on you rather than just being support and being a friend and respecting your decision.
Hey man! Congrats on your recovery, and I'm glad I came across your channel. I have 5.5 years and do mental health and addiction recovery stuff on my channel too. I have some replies, but I want to make it pretty clear first and foremost that I don't do AA anymore, so don't think that's where I'm coming from. I was super involved in the program my first 3 years or so, and then I drifted away. I just wanted to reply and offer another perspective as someone who now works at a rehab and has literally worked with thousands of alcoholics and addicts. I hope I don't come off like a dick, but I do want to chime in just in case it might help others who come across this video.
1. The saying I hate the most in AA is "meeting makers make it", because it's not true. AA isn't about the meetings. I always say that I "tried" AA with BIG quotations when I share my story. I didn't try anything. I went to meetings and that was it. And it sounds like that may have been what you did too, which brings up the next topic.
2. You prefer one-on-one more than groups. I feel the same, that's why I got a sponsor and worked the steps. That gave me the one-on-one that I needed, and I started replacing meetings with just working with my sponsor, which is pretty much a free therapist.
3. The religious overtone. I get it man. I fucking get it more than you know. It made me so uncomfortable I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin every time they did a prayer or mentioned God. Still to this day, I'm not religious, but I found spirituality. I highly recommend you check out a book called Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion by an atheist by the name of Sam Harris (super smart dude). I was able to find my spirituality without it having to be "god". One way of doing this is through meditation. Meditators find their "higher power" to be a higher form of themselves.
4. I'm 100% on whatever program works for people, do it. I tell my clients that all the time. Hell, that's why I switched things up too. I often say, "I don't care what program you work, just work A program." Whether that's therapy, meditation, other support groups whatever works. The reason why videos like yours worry me is because I've seen this play out a million times and more often than not it doesn't end well. While I hope for the best and wish you the best, I just hope you're doing something that continues to grow you as a person and builds up resilience.
I see people with clean time relapse all the time for one primary reason: They forget their an alcoholic or an addict. When they pull away from the program, it's a matter of time until they're at a concert, work party, a wedding or whatever it is and the voice comes in that says "Yeah, I can just have one drink." I'm very fortunate that I work at a rehab and am very active on my UA-cam channel so I never forget that I have this thing that can potentially kill me.
You're killing it man, and I wish you the best. Maybe we can even collab some time. The last thing I'll leave you with is something I had to humble myself to do on a daily basis, which is my way of thinking gets me in trouble. Albert Einstein said, "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them."
Very insightful. Thanks. Just got a new sponsor and I think he respects my dreams and ambitions and the fact I don't want to do meetings daily. I will try to work the steps instead of feeling guilty for not making a meeting daily
great insightful and thoughtful reply! I will follow you for sure and check out your videos on the topic... I am 10.5 months sober now..
Thing i didnt like bout AA was to much emphasis was put on exactly how long you have been sober. So everyone speaks of the exact number of days,years,hours etc they have been sober. Relapse is part of recovery so if you say you have 2 years sober but slip up 1 day you are shunned and start all over again at 0 days. The fact is if youve been drinking almost every day as an alcoholic and youve slipped 1 day out of 2 years you are doing incredibly well. But their so into numbers and days etc and have to start all over again i just didnt like that part.
I see and agree with many of your points! I go to AA, realistically because hearing other people’s stories keeps me sober. They’re terrifying. I need that reinforcement until it’s a habit to stay sober and to not drink. I also hit recovery dharma and refugee recovery as well.
Totally agree with hardcore members wanting you to do what worked for them. That mindset is no different than others trying to convert you to Christianity. You’ve said it better than many.
This video is really worth watching if you have doubts about AA. I looked into the AA approach and honestly couldn't see myself firstly sitting in meetings daily but more connecting my alcoholism in some way to God. Im an alcoholic because I cannot control my behaviour when I consume alcohol. This is something I personally need to deal with if I am ever going to break free. I personally struggle with the idea of giving yourself over to a higher power to heal.
Bottom line, whatever works for you is what works, but for me I found it alone and by been honest with myself.
Great video Kyle..
My cousin kicked her drug addiction to crack alone. She did attend NA just like you but it did not work for her either. Good for you for finding an alternative.
I understand you 100%. I am an individual and it's not because I want to be, it's the way I am, I'm leaving AA, it helped me in the beginning but it niggles be too much and doesn't add up, I don't like relying on it, it takes my power away, I'm getting stronger and meeting a wide range of people in life! All the best!
OK... my thoughts and I only speak for myself. (Stage 1) Recovery Centers got me safely detoxed. (Stage 2) AA kept me sober purely by repetition of attending meetings while my mind defogged "i.e" Ctrl+Alt+Delete my default alcoholic habits. The difficulty for me in AA after a period of time, was my quality of life and emotional well being was stagnant if not declining. Almost like living in constant emotional/mental anguish. Never addressing root cause. I was Sober but miserable. When I payed attention to others like myself, a lot people in AA meetings shared their emotional dilemmas time after time for years and they never seemed to improve. AA basis of a spiritual malady is nonsense. I was 12 years old when I started drinking alcoholically. Who the hell knows what spirituality is at 12? (Stage 3) Life long personal and continued self understanding and growth outside of AA.
Video that resonates with me.
ua-cam.com/video/ZZNY0p5oX80/v-deo.html
The drinking leaves you back to a 12 year old. Peter pan the little boy that never grew up.
AA would rather you victimize yourself than feel happy for who you are becoming. They want to see you sober but not truly happy. It’s weird. People at AA meetings (not all) give me hater vibes. It’s a way to control people and get them to feel sorry for themselves. For some it works, but for me it seemed really depressing hearing everyone’s sad stories.
I totally agree with you. I DO NOT like AA for all the same reasons. I got so stressed out during those meetings at AA that I usually went STRAIGHT to the liquor store after the meetings!
Are you blaming the aa meetings for your drinking?
@@johnywoodsman2890 And God is a total fucking joke also! drunks are fucking phonys!!
AA is not all about quitting drinking. It's about living a life of service. Thats why people continue to go years after putting the drink down. To be there to help others. If everybody left after a year of sobriety, there wouldn't be anyone there for the newcomers. Also, I'm in AA and I'm an atheist.
Real professionals can help "the newcomers."
So I went to few aa meetings and I'm still New, a month yesterday. I work full time, have kids, have some cultural things I do now and going to aa meeting seem like to much work now. I'm tired after work, I want to rest and I'm an introverted person so meeting all these people and being told to open up in aa and then told to "ck in" everyday with my sponser.. like why?? Its exhausting and I haven't gone bk.. it takes a lot of time. Thx
You're not willing to go to any lengths to get and stay sober. When we were out drinking I would do whatever it took to go to the bar or get a drink. Can we at least put the same effort into AA as we did drinking?
@@rodneyjohnson7327 How do you know they aren't sober? You literally sound like the people I've come across in AA. NO identity just spewing the exact same words/phrases and looking down on others for THEIR life decisions.
@@kendrawickware2438 I'm not looking down on others. I'm just tired of watching people die or go back out drinking after coming into AA. The success rates of AA have declined over the decades. But it's not because AA doesn't work, it's because people don't work the program the way the Big Book describes. AA isn't group therapy. It's a spiritual program of action. If the writer is a real alcoholic, she will be drinking again soon. But if she is just a problem drinker, alcohol abuser, party animal, binge drinker or hard drinker, etc... she might be able to stop and stay stopped without the AA program. But if she is the real alcoholic AA is the only solution.
@@kendrawickware2438 You are also very naive and lacking in experience. Yet thinking being caring and nice or going to get and keep an alcoholic sober. You are wrong. Dead wrong. Your approach however nice, will kill a real alcoholic. Please, if you have any decency and conscience stay out of AA.
I don't like the meetings. I dont feel like dealing with the rude people which i have encountered. I had this thought of what your saying in the back of my mind today and I came across your video .I certainly like the feeling of being clean.thats one day at a time lol I wont be drinking and saying im not, the truth is the truth you know. What would be the purpose of quiting?Thanks for sharing your views. To me It's a broader way of seeing it.
awesome! gym, buzy +hobbies! it WORKS! inspiring, makes me wanna blog my own!
I am an atheist and always found 12 steps to be very religion based. I am also an introvert and do much better with 1 on 1 but the aa people in my family are very solipsistic and push their narrative........ it has been a wedge in our relationship since 1996 when they started to try to push me to go to meetings......... every interaction feels like I'm playing a manipulation game with the prize being my sanity.
It reminded me of a past friend who I let go because of constant pressure from him to join a pyramid scheme or a guy who I worked with who was a born again and constantly pushing his religion ....... its unfortunate.
Great Video! Thanks Brother!
~Yes, this is exactly how i feel!~I quit a 10 year hard drug habit on my own, doing my own 'program' that i came up with, and it was literally the happiest time in my life!~AA people would tell me how im gonna relapse, even tho they had relapsed, but i never did!~(15 years)~
Every item I went AA I ended up wanting to to get wasted even more. I never felt I could lose control or that it would be ok if I effed up! Thanks for this: it’s confirmed my doubts and knowing that it’s ok to feel how I feel. I didn’t even realise that you have to attend meetings all the time. I much prefer being a hermit and exploring spiritual practice and this has kept me off drugs! Anyway my health fitness and doses of Jordon Peterson vid keeps me on the straight and narrow! Thanks dude.
When I got into a solid meditation, that is far better than anything chemical. It is work (not instant gratification), but time well spent undoubtedly.
All that matters is you are not killing yourself with drugs and alcohol. I tried to hang in there. I am desperately miserable in AA. I did the steps. I have to move on and out of AA.
I would like to see a video on your workouts or if you have any advice on a more healthier life style and what your routine is. I find myself watching videos about health since I’m now sober. 😀
Natalie Gatto you thirsty
I have been in and out of AA since the late 90's. No matter how much I try to lie and says works. It doesn't work for me. I find a CBT model like SMART works much better for me.
Your cat is key to your progress and well being, he looks like a lovely companion, you are blessed.
My experience was I never got help for agoraphobia. I rarely left the house and so needed mental health and now learning my own spiritual beliefs which I feel aren't exclusive
Although AA helped me get sober. There’s a lot of issues that I don’t agree with. First was the social aspect. I am an introvert and don’t do well with approaching strangers. There are rude people in AA but not all of them. I’ve experienced pressures to do service work and district work when I’m not comfortable or even far enough in my sobriety for it. A lot of narcissism and dogmatism goes on in the rooms, that their way is the only way. Fear that if you don’t go to meetings everyday or pray everyday that you are going to relapse. I’ve chosen a recovery method that has worked for me and only me, and I have a sponsor that helps me more on the spiritual side of it rather than the actual AA side. I’ve admitted I am a true alcoholic, but I have other issues I need to heal that AA can’t help me with.
I am in complete agreement with you! I experienced the same type of pressure to socialize/do service work, etc. as an introvert. I just could not stand it and also got tired of hearing that I was isolating when I was just spending time in solitude and trying to recharge. When by myself, I was not constantly thinking about drinking as they kept saying.
I think recovery should be enjoyed not have the life sucked out of it by alchoholics anonymous i would just be careful of complacency .
The life is definitely sucked right out of you while there
I was in and out AA for 10 years, i stopped drinking and went back to AA then drank again because the vibe was so bad. I can't listen to past drinking experiences anymore. People all talk the same, no open minds. Im changing my whole routine to get off this booze, im microdosing with shrooms too❤
I love you man. This is fantastic. Sending best wishes from the non city part of New York.
3:02 “…meetings for foreseeably the rest of your life…I’ve done over 50 AAs, most court appointed… don’t do well in group therapy…” etc etc.
It’s an absolute shame that this is what AA for the most part has devolved into, what I describe as poorly run group (talk) therapy, which is pretty much what the focus is in treatment centers (medical hospitals…) 🤔hmm, why so…? “working a 12 step step program” has NOTHING to do with meetings whatsoever. Don’t take my not-so-humble experience based opinion for it. On pg. 59 of the book titled Alocoholics Anonymous it says “Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery.” No mention of group therapy anywhere on the list!! I encountered the tampered/tempered version of AA you spoke about and it nearly killed me. Thank God I met a man who unashamedly showed me that it, AA is a 12 step spiritual program of action that offers a fellowship where it’s convenient to share this with other “seemingly hopeless” types. Oh and by the way, not everyone in an AA meeting is an alcoholic as described in the aforementioned book. But ahh, who needs old outdated books anyway, they’re full of worthless nonsense unlike my hat rack full of wisdom!!! (famous last words of many a REAL alcoholic)
I've been clean and sober for Four years without aa or rehab. I was an alcoholic drug addict for over twenty years. For me God delivered me because it was past the point of me giving up by myself. Drinking at least two bottles of hard alcohol and smoking two boxes of cigarettes a day. So yeah. If you are no religious then that might not appeal to people who don't believe in miracles. I also don't feel that Aa is something that would help me. 💪💯
Meshing with people hits hard for me honestly, find it extremely difficult to be open-minded and willing to be in room of people when certain individuals are nothing but toxic ( or known fact they don't like you and you don't like put simple) time and time again it honesty builds in tension within oneself to the point your better off to avoid the meetings they go to. ''Principles before Personalities''
Not like the Pub/Bar/Tavern where if you don't like someone or their toxic you can easily just jump ship to another ''Bar'' depending on where you live and from, some towns with smaller populations may only have 1-2 meetings a week where I can beat your bottom dollar that they will be filled with similar characters.
Add the above with the fact it ''get's old'' only time I saw the characters in the meetings was literally at meetings for the most part only a few people that actually hanged out with and had fun times I actually still keep in touch with on that note it very difficult to transition from partying life style with the troubles to go with it to come to meetings where that not the case whatsoever.
Reliability is generally how human beings get along with one another there honestly was very few people that came into the meetings from my background not so much looking for ''differences'' but there is massive difference between getting arrested for stupidity and losing your house, moreover to do with ''adventure''.
Once I came to put these all facts together ( that I know as ''for me'') I ceased to enter back into meetings at all, sick of the mind games sick of fake people that are not genuine ( put on a fake smile), keep everything kosher here type of attitude to once again get smacked again by adversary when I turn a blind corner.
AA is the embodiment of the beast of addiction. Addiction thrives in groups of uncertain, ambivalent people.
Helpful video, thanks.
Wow,thank-you for sharing you, re Journey through the A.A experience.I have felt the Very same way, that you have, & people kept trying to convert me to keep going back into the program.
Every time I would go back in, it just felt unhealthy for me!Not how I wanted to represent myself in my world.
I’m much happier doing it my way, which I found!!I am 4- yr plus sober& have No desire to drink!!..
Maybe I just needed confirmation from someone that it’s perfectly ok.. to do it my way😊🌸
MAKE YOUR BED! I love you.
cool.
Thank You! I related so much!
We become what we think about if you think in positive terms you will get positive results if you think in negative terms you get negative results. If your hang around negative people you will get negative results set goals and only associate with postive like minded people thats what's kept me sober for 9 years. Find out if you have mental health issues and ADHD thats a huge part of why people drink to begin with ADHD is a chemical imbalance which means you have low adoipimne. Alcohol was the solution not the problem Check and see if you have a mental illness and work on that. Great video keep growing and congrats on staying sober its hard at times and AA didn't work for me I did it on my own
I’ve been sober for almost 5 years. I am not going to identify myself as an addict or alcoholic, that’s ridiculous. I did AA for a year, then one day I looked around and I was like wtf am I doing here?? Like not to belittle anyone’s experience but I was a hardcore junky, I was homeless for 5 years, I have 6 felonies, I’ve been in and out of rehab and AA many times, like 99% of people have no clue what that’s like. How am I going to take suggestions from someone who hit rock bottom while they were attending college, living in an apartment paid for by mom and dad, and never went to rehab? Whats kept me sober is the idea that I don’t want to suffer again. When I was using I was suffering beyond belief. That’s enough for me to stay sober.
Ps no wonder you don't like aa meetings if you were sent by a court under duress. Would you go again if the option was presented or would you go to prison?
I'm glad you found something that works for you. Stay in the game, brother.
I'm a loner. I will do this on my own, that's all
AA is useful if you find social groups outside of intoxication. Also, that ancient book is actually quite informative. It's basically just real world testamonies about crazy alcoholics in the year 1930 who turned it around. But the meetings can be crazy. Keep on keeping on!
Ever been in a mental home?
Don't go to AA. It won't work for you. Its a last resort and you have plenty of other ideas to explore.
The thing that a lot of people in AA overlook is that there is only one REQUIREMENT to be a member, and that is that you must have a desire to stop drinking. Everything else is a suggestion. What I struggle with are those who want to shove sponsorship down your throat. Everybody might not need a sponsor, just like everyone doesn't need GOD, to stop drinking. Although I'm bias because I believe in God, I respect someone's right no to. As long your not drinking, you shouldn't have to fill alienate at an AA meeting just because 'm not taking all of the suggestions. They don't seem to even care that I I'm sober for over three years doing it my way.
Set up your own fellowship if you are bothered by people not being interested in the fact you are 3 years sober. I have been sober 21 years and most people aren't really interested by that fact after about 10 seconds. In aa few people are interested as it is usually in a room of sober alcoholics, so nothing special in one way, although pretty amazing like your 3 years in another way.
Were you ever praying to God when you were getting pissed in the Bar? Where you praying to God when you were partying your fucking brains out? But now you are a phony Bible Basher!!
Your input is so helpful man thank you
My dad got sober for 24 years with AA!
Then he went on a cruise and lied to his whole family. He was going for a couple of months to AA... then he relapsed again. And then again, a couple night ago. He is in detox but I don’t believe he wants to be there. If he didn’t go, he would be under a bridge. Why?! It’s a disease but why now? What changed? He knows what he can loose but he isn’t helping himself for himself. 😥
AA groups are religion based and that totally would never work for me. Been to some of those and the self proclaimed cult leader person always abuses his or her position and acts like a jerk forcing the Christian god on people that just makes me incredibly angry.
is satin beter
There's not a word in the Big Book about going to meetings or having a sponsor.
It does mention discussing things with people and meeting up with other alcoholics and trying to carry the message to other alcoholics. I.e. tell othet people if aa grounds is helping you. Well said though.
Only a whole chapter ("Working with others")and more...they termed it differently. Sponsorship and meeting work have sadly decreased with the coming of mobile phones etc and the sickness and addiction they bring.Ppl do the step work superficially and sloppily, and sponsors take short-cuts guiding openly in the steps, but not really engaging in the sponsee and looking where they are coming from at start, like the chapter"Working with others" clearly instructs. I give that we today are weaker than in -36, but think the adversary of man has tricked them.
The BB is about walking the steps, os maybe that is why the meetings are not mentioned. There need not be plates and cutlery in cookery books either.
@@Medietos page 13 & 14 big book. The key is that sobriety/recovery is based on your own relationship with your higher power, not other people or another particular person. We share or discuss with people/humans. The book sets out precisely how to recover and the spiritual program of recovery.
@@Medietos ps the chapter suggests getting the new person to read the whole big book and to then wait to see if they come back to you and want to go through step 5 with you. If not, leave them to it. Don't prod or push. I find that i am keener than newcomers and have to hold back a bit.
@@stubdo16 :I meant where the sponsor finds out about the sponsees background, talks to the family to find out what personality he is to better approach and help, and being tactful but straight/honest, and prepared to sponsor at all times. I know one can't expect that in today's stress, but still react to sponsors claiming to sponsor out of the Big book. Most are cold, not interested who or how I am, Just want to do the program, even though I say I need sponsoring to first get some sleep, food, structure a little better, in order to have energy for step work When I refer to that chapter, they look like Q marks, and the feeling I get is, they have not read that chapter, much less do they know it.I get that they can't leave their home open, give a bit of money, an d be available at nïght on the phone. but a little personal connection, meetings and care is needed... My sponsors have mostly been on he phone only, which is OK for ppl with a normal, social life..
thanks so much! I agree about not liking group therapy wholeheartedly
AA and NA worked better for me when I was first around. I only attend them now and then because a lot of the sharing and where people are at, dosen't move on. If you have recovery and keepon growing it can feel as though that person is "doing it wrong" because they are growing, changing, moving on and the core of the group members don't change, grow or move on. I also hate it when people say in AA that you can't mention drugs or the NA members don't like people mentioning AA...we're dying of a disease and arrogant members think they can play God and call the shots on what works for other people...I don't think so. I tend to go to
Al-Anon, ACA, OA and CODA meetings because they are more respectful and have clarity statements read out about not cross sharing or advice giving.
Your sobriety will be enhanced if you make your bed every day. It starts your day with an accomplishment and makes your room look more organized. Take control.
Love this video I needed to hear this.
I didn't get any support from my group.
SMART recovery for the win 🤘
I understand. I hear u
Thank you
If you are a real alcoholic healing on your own won't work long term. Lifting weights and body building is a nice hobby. A distraction really. Something to keep you occupied. Kind of like people that attend a lot of AA meetings but don't have a program of recovery and have never worked all the steps. Meetings keep them occupied but doesn't last. BUT it doesn't replace a program of recovery through AA.
Your eyes are red. Must be the koolaid!
@@katherinechase3674 Your eyes are brown. That must mean your full of sh#*.
You can not just condemn anyone to failure like this. You do not even know this person.
@@erimozata5120 His advice will kill people. He needs to be careful and told that his advice was wrong
I stopped feeling safe in AA been going hard core in AA for the first three years then went less and less and even less in the last year. The drama is the most so much drama it will drive you to drink. All those people and nobody to talk to.
Doing it on your own !...good luck with that !
It looks like he is doing great! 75% of people who quit alcohol permanently quit on their own-
DICKHEAD
Many people can do it on their own. But you wouldn't count 10 years sober without AA a valuable time right? It has to have some AA in it so that it would mean sth. Yeah, I know..
I did not got get a sober in aa.
Grew up in meetings. Developed a drinking problem for like 6-7 years. Quit. Went to two meetings, one in jail to get out of the cell. Couldn't stomach the religion. If I wanted church, I'd fucking go.
OK so it seems that this guy has not grasped the concept of the meetings which is about a different way of living. He also said that a guy was trying to get him to attend the meetings. In the AA book it says not to pressure the person (alcoholic) but instead let them come to their own conclusions. I wonder if people are negative about AA because some of its members and sponsors are not truly following the AA principals completely.
You’ve found exception. Good for you.
Aww the cat ❤️ I didn’t find aa worked and the rehab I went to was totally centered about aa. I went there wanting inspiration and I did get that off most people there but found the meetings a bit dark at times likes of incest and heavy stuff brought up, them issues should of been confided in a professional or close friend. Put me off watching older men look totally uncomfortable. Seen a death notice for a man I’d pick up local for aa had died last week RIP Micheal John xxx
Beware of the 13th steppers, Its very real and totally disgusting. Sex offenders are in there and the fact that they CLAIM to be sober are suspect. They look for people they can take advantage of and AA does not let them down.
This is a big problem everywhere. Creepy middle-aged and elderly men get to talk to attractive women who would not give them the time of day under any other circumstances.
I am seeing the same things. Are you still sober after leaving?
Love your cat
So cute, mellow old man kitty.
I went to 2 meetings. I feel the same as you tbh .
I went to AA for years until I wised up and realised half the "congregation" were predatory 13 steppers and the other half, so called "old timers", were only interested in out doing each other while sharing. I could never stay sober in AA but I've been sober without it for 15 years following a course of science based secular CBT.
Good video. I like group therapy personally. One on one becomes a chess match for me. The fellowship can be a little overwhelming. And yes half 9f the people are lying about there sobriety date. People usually figure that out after the first few years. Lol cool taco t bro! I think sobriety dates are counter productive and unnecessary. I say I am either drinking or not. And I just not to.
I dont feel that support in the meetings
Yep. All of this.
"The freedom model for addiction." Read it. It is this concept plus so much more. Get out of the "treatment and recovery trap."
OK, so I can respect your personal feeling about not being comfortable in a group environment and talking in the same environment. Valid point. But I am sure you have heard many times that it is a "spiritual, not religious" program of recovery. Most people hear the words about "the God of your understanding" and immediately go on the attack of it being a "religious cult". Perhaps if people could actually get some informed data, they would have a better understanding of the actual difference between Religion and Spirituality. I personally don't agree with everything I hear at meetings, but often hear a perspective I never considered. AA / NA is not just about not using - its about the recovery from the damage we have done to ourselves and loved ones. If we don't know whats wrong - how do we fix it? We successfully lied to ourselves all the time when using, so are we going to take our own advice when trying to stop? JMO
I'm glad you said AA doesn't work for you. That's the absolute truth AA doesn't work for anyone. I've been sober and happy as hell because I WORK FOR AA. I was a the grocery store and a lady behind me buying vodka said AA didn't work for her either. When I explained AA is for real alcoholic people and we work 12 steps to stay sober and sane at the same time. I work fo AA. She described the car she was driving and as I left the parking I saw she was behind me. I stopped to let a family of 4 cross the street, she was barrelling towards me. I was able to learn forward enough for her not to hit my car, but who knows if the drunk lady who left AA would have run over that family of 4 if I hadn't been a sober alcoholic. Good luck to you, I often 12 step alcoholic people when think they have a better way.
I heard that same shit in a "speaker" meeting and it honestly was the straw that broke the camel's back of your disgusting killer organization that has a 5-10 percent success rate by your own GSO numbers.. Your whole thing about "working for AA" is patronizing and condescending. Hey, you should not even be watching videos like this. You're clearly not spiritually fit. I'm telling your sponsor.
thanks kyle
Very interesting
Exactly man. Nice Exploited and Misfits tattoos btw.🧐
Thank man
I found AA to be depressing.