I can relate this. Every hairdresser trip feels like an impossible mission. Even though I manage to get regular haircuts, I fear that someone will judge me. Especially someone from my school who thinks it’s ok to mock your appearance or accuse you of copying the style. This happened to me and I fear that that person or people like him would see and spread rumours. I feel my hands sweating in the chair. I will try this techniques, especially ‘breaking the ice’ to boost my confidence. :)
Great video. I had the same barber since I was a teenager whom I felt fairly comfortable with. He retired 5 years ago and since then I've found it really difficult to find a new barber to go to. I resorted to cutting my own hair just to avoid the anxiety and awkwardness. Thanks for the helpful tips.
I need a haircut really bad but my anxiety is so bad I haven't been in 6 months and I sweat my ass off since its summer hiding how crappy it looks. Being a trans guy doesn't make it any easier
me but when i sit down idont like it. it’s so awkward. ik they’re just doing their job but i really dont like it, I THINK there are people staring at me but I KNOW only the hairdresser is looking at me. and it’s not even like stare looking, they’e just looking at my hair. but i still get super nervous when i ge t a hairuct
Yeah I feel like that hence why I get really scared before going to the hairdresser! However, so what if they are looking at you? It is very likely they won’t remember you! I have to get a haircut soon and I am also nervous. I would love to be able to cut my own hair but I know my social anxiety will only worsen, I will have bad hair, and I may even struggle to do job interviews in the future!
What is hard for me is finding a barber that you click with, some barbers just don’t have good chemistry with me, also it gets awkward sometimes when you’re facing another guy getting his haircut. You know, when the barber rotates the chair, and now you’re facing another guy and you have to look away for even like 5 minutes sometimes lol hate that
I’m a barber student and I have social anxiety. Lol it’s very difficult at times but it helps me as exposure therapy. Maybe I could attract anxious clients and the both of us could be at ease. Barbering is an art, but the social aspect of it is what I struggle with.
For me I have no anxiety before i got to the hair dressers. But when I get in there my breathing goes all dodgy and I just want to escape.. but my logical mind is like, huh?whats going on here there is nothing to be afraid of. Its like I have a subconscious fear I am not aware of. Any idea how to overcome this? Thanks :)
The Social Anxiety Coach- It went alright thanks! We didn’t talk very much at all, I usually just let the hairdresser do the talking. I miss my old hairdresser who was super talkative🙃
Happens to me aswell my face would start pouring with sweat for no reason literally almost every time I get a haircut that I just feel like getting up walking out running home and hide myself away, I don't know what's up with me I say to myself "Gavin there's absolutely nothing to worry about you're just getting a haircut" what makes it even worse is when there are a few people waiting to get theirs cut and they're watching me get mine cut it's so awkward I just don't know how to react it's so frustrating
I have a favourite barbers I go to. It's a long way away from where I live but I feel relaxed in there. The thought of finding a new one fills me with dread!
I have been experiencing shaking when they are about to start cutting my hair. last time my barber asked me why I was nervous and I couldn't explain it to him because it was something i could not control.
@@seantaylor407 you need to relax more often its psychological if its only happen at the barbershop, so be more careful about yourself, i have had the same issue and i'm still feeling that i'm gonna shake but its all due to stress so i relax before i get stressed every time, I'm waiting for the day that i will forget about it
Once again you hit the nail on the head. Didnt realize anyone else felt this way. I used to avoid getting my hair cut and just let my hair get long, and it looked awful, and I knew it, and it compounded my anxiety more. It got to the point that I wouldn't go out in public without a hood or hat on, for years. Recently I found a barber, an old man, and I feel much more confortable with him as opposed to a young female cutting my hair, and while he isnt great, I feel like its a good stepping stone to getting comfortable with going to a more mainstream barber/salon. Thanks for the video.
Also would like to add that I can easily tell that you actually used to suffer from SA because you highlight how common day to day interactions are so difficult. Every other youtuber I've watched uses the "party" example, where they feel awkward at a party, but parties are the easy part, have a few shots and your anxiety melts away. It's the everyday aspects that are crippling and you touch upon those perfectly.
@@AlmightyHilux yes, I have a bit of an issue with general dating coaches, men's self-improvement coaches and all kinds of therapists and people who have never had the condition trying to lecture about it. It seems to me they are trying to cash in on a "trendy buzzword". I actually find it quite insulting when people with no clue give glib advice that is miles off the mark. I wouldn't go around giving people advice on how to overcome arthritis or some other health condition I've never had. So I kind of feel they should keep their opinions to themselves unless they really know what they are talking about and/or have firsthand experience
Thanks for your comments. You're definitely not alone in having these thoughts. I know of many people with SAD who hate the barbershop experience. Sounds like you're taking sensible steps to overcome it
its not social anxiety, when i was like 9 years old my father cut my hair and i still did not like it for some reason, i cant even explain why im litteraly afraid of haircuts.
Dude in the background just staring is giving me anxiety. I don't get why people in public do this. I really dislike when you walk past that token guy at a cafe or in a waiting room that just stares at everybody who walks past and looks them up and down.
I've never been a people pleaser. I can speak my mind say exactly what I think, but I just don't tend to talk with unfamiliar people. I'm naturally asocial and extremely introverted. And because I was emotionally neglected growing up, I didn't develop social skills and isolated and felt "different", which made me extremely self-conscious. I could barely function around people, in fact. Things are better now finally in middle age. I recently learned that as a numerology life path 16/7, you can have difficulty with such, being very private, emotionally disconnected from others, secretive. I don't think in all cases, social anxiety stems from low self-esteem. But I certainly think being unable to express oneself effectively with other people and socialize damages self-esteem.
Everything you saying is understandable but for some reason not possible for me to do, I hate this feeling getting haircut due to my anxiety. Now I’m traveling in Phillippines and to get haircut here now days aren’t easy due to Covid, what I mean is it’s always lots of people sitting inside barber shop and I’ve noticed this is and having to wear that tight on the neck gown... I really hate that.
I'm just afraid I will have a panic attack in front of the barber. I want to find a way to tell them with feeling embarrassed that I have anxiety and I may need to stop for a short break.
Yes John, I know what you mean. When I was struggling, one of my biggest fears was having public anxiety attacks. In order to be less revealing, would it be possible to tell your barber that you have another problem (asthma / stomach flu etc.) and you might need to nip out for a break if it plays up?
Ed Barton - The Social Anxiety Coach thanks for the advise, my problem is I know when I return from the break I will immediately feel anxious again. Also I have this weird thing about lying. The thing is I'm fine in the dentist. I actually enjoyed getting fillings. That's because it's common for people to have a fear of the dentist. My problem with the barber is a person saying they have anxiety getting a hair cut will be weird. If I said to a barber I have anxiety getting my hair cut and they said that's totally normal I'd be fine.
@@celicacelica1 I understand about the lying. I would actually get anxiety about lying to cover my anxiety! Why do you need to hear it from the barber though? Could you give yourself that reassurance and permission to be anxious? It IS totally normal to be anxious in the barber...not many people enjoy sitting in front of their own reflection for 25 minutes, while some strange man makes inane small talk with them and messes with their hair, while other people watch!
Meisterling I've tried it and I think it's absolute NONSENSE. I talk about it in my other videos and on my blog: crushsocialanxiety.org I actually find the idea that you can solve such a complex psychological and existential issue by tapping yourself on the head and telling yourself platitudes borderline offensive
Crush Social Anxiety Thanks for the fast response. Nice to hear that you tried it. :) For me it worked and still works on other problems. I used it to drastically reduce my fear of spiders for example. I going to click on the link right now and might add another comment.
Thank you for this video. I'd always had my haircut by a family friend who was a hairdressers, right up until I turned 14 and I decided I should get it cut more locally by a barber as she lives over 60 miles away now. I had a terrible experience, probably my fault for not expressing what I wanted but I ended up with a bowl cut which was aweful for me and put me off going to a local barber since. I'm not 21 and still battling with Anxiety. Today I'm going to go and get my haircut locally, I think your tips will really help. Thank you again.
My barber is Chinese and doesn't speak English very well, I can never get him to cut enough. I try to be assertive but it's hard to tell if he understands what I'm asking or if he just wants me to come back sooner so he can make more money, very frustrating. I tell myself I'll go find another barber next time, but of course that's terrifying. Maybe the next one will do a total crap job and I'll be worse off than before. Anyway, totally relate and very glad I found your channel. New subscriber. Awesome videos, keep it up, great job.
It’s nice to know I’m not the only one.
Dang I need to get my hair cut or trimmed and I hate the inevitable small talk that gets forced on me .
Yep, hairdressers do love a bit of small talk 😄
I'm 14 and I have a fear of going to the barbers. I've always gone with one of my parents but today I have to go by myself and I'm really nervous
I can relate this. Every hairdresser trip feels like an impossible mission. Even though I manage to get regular haircuts, I fear that someone will judge me. Especially someone from my school who thinks it’s ok to mock your appearance or accuse you of copying the style. This happened to me and I fear that that person or people like him would see and spread rumours. I feel my hands sweating in the chair. I will try this techniques, especially ‘breaking the ice’ to boost my confidence. :)
Hope it helps. Let me know how you get on 🙂
Great video. I had the same barber since I was a teenager whom I felt fairly comfortable with. He retired 5 years ago and since then I've found it really difficult to find a new barber to go to. I resorted to cutting my own hair just to avoid the anxiety and awkwardness. Thanks for the helpful tips.
Thanks for your comment. I'm glad it was helpful
I need a haircut really bad but my anxiety is so bad I haven't been in 6 months and I sweat my ass off since its summer hiding how crappy it looks. Being a trans guy doesn't make it any easier
I can imagine that must be tough. Did you manage to get a cut in the end?
I always freak out when i walk in cuz everyone looks at me until i sit down
me but when i sit down idont like it. it’s so awkward. ik they’re just doing their job but i really dont like it, I THINK there are people staring at me but I KNOW only the hairdresser is looking at me. and it’s not even like stare looking, they’e just looking at my hair. but i still get super nervous when i ge t a hairuct
Yeah I feel like that hence why I get really scared before going to the hairdresser! However, so what if they are looking at you? It is very likely they won’t remember you! I have to get a haircut soon and I am also nervous. I would love to be able to cut my own hair but I know my social anxiety will only worsen, I will have bad hair, and I may even struggle to do job interviews in the future!
What is hard for me is finding a barber that you click with, some barbers just don’t have good chemistry with me, also it gets awkward sometimes when you’re facing another guy getting his haircut. You know, when the barber rotates the chair, and now you’re facing another guy and you have to look away for even like 5 minutes sometimes lol hate that
I’m a barber student and I have social anxiety. Lol it’s very difficult at times but it helps me as exposure therapy. Maybe I could attract anxious clients and the both of us could be at ease. Barbering is an art, but the social aspect of it is what I struggle with.
For me I have no anxiety before i got to the hair dressers. But when I get in there my breathing goes all dodgy and I just want to escape.. but my logical mind is like, huh?whats going on here there is nothing to be afraid of. Its like I have a subconscious fear I am not aware of. Any idea how to overcome this? Thanks :)
meditation and affirmation
Panicking. Feel like u goimg to faint
People don’t understand how bad anxiety disorders really are. Some even want to say its not real.
You really helped me. Just got my haircut and im the happiest i've ever been.
Super happy to hear this! Keep going, you can get through this
I have social anxiety and am trying my hardest to deal with it.
Haircut tomorrow!😖
How did the haircut go?
The Social Anxiety Coach- It went alright thanks!
We didn’t talk very much at all, I usually just let the hairdresser do the talking.
I miss my old hairdresser who was super talkative🙃
this is hilariously accurate.. great tips
Thanks for your comment John. Glad it was helpful
My problem is that the anxiety gets so bad while I'm getting a haircut that I start severely sweating
that's normal for me you should do it 3 times a week for the next two months and see how it goes until you're free from this burden
Happens to me aswell my face would start pouring with sweat for no reason literally almost every time I get a haircut that I just feel like getting up walking out running home and hide myself away, I don't know what's up with me I say to myself "Gavin there's absolutely nothing to worry about you're just getting a haircut" what makes it even worse is when there are a few people waiting to get theirs cut and they're watching me get mine cut it's so awkward I just don't know how to react it's so frustrating
I have a favourite barbers I go to. It's a long way away from where I live but I feel relaxed in there. The thought of finding a new one fills me with dread!
I have been experiencing shaking when they are about to start cutting my hair. last time my barber asked me why I was nervous and I couldn't explain it to him because it was something i could not control.
did you manage to control it in the end ? because i passing by the same thing rn !!! and i don't know what to do
@@Simonkaabi same i am stressing right now 🤦
@@xeno7616 dont get weaker just think you can overcome it and its will pass since its only a psychological impact..u can do it really
i’ve been experiencing same thing for about 10-15 yrs only happens when barber needs me to be still which is so embarrassing...
@@seantaylor407 you need to relax more often its psychological if its only happen at the barbershop, so be more careful about yourself, i have had the same issue and i'm still feeling that i'm gonna shake but its all due to stress so i relax before i get stressed every time, I'm waiting for the day that i will forget about it
Once again you hit the nail on the head. Didnt realize anyone else felt this way. I used to avoid getting my hair cut and just let my hair get long, and it looked awful, and I knew it, and it compounded my anxiety more. It got to the point that I wouldn't go out in public without a hood or hat on, for years. Recently I found a barber, an old man, and I feel much more confortable with him as opposed to a young female cutting my hair, and while he isnt great, I feel like its a good stepping stone to getting comfortable with going to a more mainstream barber/salon. Thanks for the video.
Also would like to add that I can easily tell that you actually used to suffer from SA because you highlight how common day to day interactions are so difficult. Every other youtuber I've watched uses the "party" example, where they feel awkward at a party, but parties are the easy part, have a few shots and your anxiety melts away. It's the everyday aspects that are crippling and you touch upon those perfectly.
@@AlmightyHilux yes, I have a bit of an issue with general dating coaches, men's self-improvement coaches and all kinds of therapists and people who have never had the condition trying to lecture about it. It seems to me they are trying to cash in on a "trendy buzzword".
I actually find it quite insulting when people with no clue give glib advice that is miles off the mark. I wouldn't go around giving people advice on how to overcome arthritis or some other health condition I've never had. So I kind of feel they should keep their opinions to themselves unless they really know what they are talking about and/or have firsthand experience
Thanks for your comments. You're definitely not alone in having these thoughts. I know of many people with SAD who hate the barbershop experience. Sounds like you're taking sensible steps to overcome it
I get my panic disorder when I go for a haircut 😩
I'm trying to find a barber, but I always sweat in a barbershop. I don't like being the center of attention in a barber chair
its not social anxiety, when i was like 9 years old my father cut my hair and i still did not like it for some reason, i cant even explain why im litteraly afraid of haircuts.
Dude in the background just staring is giving me anxiety. I don't get why people in public do this. I really dislike when you walk past that token guy at a cafe or in a waiting room that just stares at everybody who walks past and looks them up and down.
For me it’s picking what style I want. I can’t decide for the life of me.
"How do you want it done?".....In silence please.
"Err...Skin fade on the sides, grade 6 chopped up on top and no inane small talk" 😂
I've never been a people pleaser. I can speak my mind say exactly what I think, but I just don't tend to talk with unfamiliar people. I'm naturally asocial and extremely introverted. And because I was emotionally neglected growing up, I didn't develop social skills and isolated and felt "different", which made me extremely self-conscious. I could barely function around people, in fact. Things are better now finally in middle age.
I recently learned that as a numerology life path 16/7, you can have difficulty with such, being very private, emotionally disconnected from others, secretive. I don't think in all cases, social anxiety stems from low self-esteem. But I certainly think being unable to express oneself effectively with other people and socialize damages self-esteem.
Wow! You thought you were ugly, man i wish i had your hair. Great talk and true for anxiety!
anybody else’s head shake when you hear the clippers close to your head?
That happens to me😂💀
Yes and then i get paranoid that they know im shaking
me lol i hate it
I turn into a sweaty bobble head 😆 🤣 😂
I am so surprize that I am not the only one
I get so ticklish when the barber is cutting my hair. His clippers touch my head and I move away!
Everything you saying is understandable but for some reason not possible for me to do, I hate this feeling getting haircut due to my anxiety.
Now I’m traveling in Phillippines and to get haircut here now days aren’t easy due to Covid, what I mean is it’s always lots of people sitting inside barber shop and I’ve noticed this is and having to wear that tight on the neck gown... I really hate that.
Omg this is so helpful.i tought i was the only one
Glad it resonated with you
Thank you so much brother.... Now i can easily go to barber....
I want to make an appointment for a haircut and style my hair but I’m nervous
That isn’t my problem it’s how my haircut turned out and I’m scared my friends would look at me differently
Mate i really appreciate ur videos and the honesty, and 11:30 part is horribly true
I have to take diazapam to get my haircut. Same with the dentists. I would do anything to not have to take that shit
well i cut my own hair and i am pretty good at it :}
I'm just afraid I will have a panic attack in front of the barber. I want to find a way to tell them with feeling embarrassed that I have anxiety and I may need to stop for a short break.
Yes John, I know what you mean. When I was struggling, one of my biggest fears was having public anxiety attacks. In order to be less revealing, would it be possible to tell your barber that you have another problem (asthma / stomach flu etc.) and you might need to nip out for a break if it plays up?
Ed Barton - The Social Anxiety Coach thanks for the advise, my problem is I know when I return from the break I will immediately feel anxious again. Also I have this weird thing about lying.
The thing is I'm fine in the dentist. I actually enjoyed getting fillings. That's because it's common for people to have a fear of the dentist. My problem with the barber is a person saying they have anxiety getting a hair cut will be weird. If I said to a barber I have anxiety getting my hair cut and they said that's totally normal I'd be fine.
@@celicacelica1 I understand about the lying. I would actually get anxiety about lying to cover my anxiety! Why do you need to hear it from the barber though? Could you give yourself that reassurance and permission to be anxious? It IS totally normal to be anxious in the barber...not many people enjoy sitting in front of their own reflection for 25 minutes, while some strange man makes inane small talk with them and messes with their hair, while other people watch!
My heads starts to shake, which just makes it so obvious! I hate ig
I really want to go get my hair cut but not gonna lie, I got anxiety just watching this
Am I the only one that get panic attacks in the chair?
You should try EFT and let us know what you think about it in a video. :)
Meisterling I've tried it and I think it's absolute NONSENSE. I talk about it in my other videos and on my blog: crushsocialanxiety.org
I actually find the idea that you can solve such a complex psychological and existential issue by tapping yourself on the head and telling yourself platitudes borderline offensive
Crush Social Anxiety Thanks for the fast response. Nice to hear that you tried it. :)
For me it worked and still works on other problems. I used it to drastically reduce my fear of spiders for example. I going to click on the link right now and might add another comment.
Meisterling that's great. I'm glad it worked for you :)
My problem is getting a haircut
Question: How do you deal with social anxiety at the hairdresser?
Thank you for this video. I'd always had my haircut by a family friend who was a hairdressers, right up until I turned 14 and I decided I should get it cut more locally by a barber as she lives over 60 miles away now. I had a terrible experience, probably my fault for not expressing what I wanted but I ended up with a bowl cut which was aweful for me and put me off going to a local barber since. I'm not 21 and still battling with Anxiety. Today I'm going to go and get my haircut locally, I think your tips will really help. Thank you again.
My barber is Chinese and doesn't speak English very well, I can never get him to cut enough. I try to be assertive but it's hard to tell if he understands what I'm asking or if he just wants me to come back sooner so he can make more money, very frustrating. I tell myself I'll go find another barber next time, but of course that's terrifying. Maybe the next one will do a total crap job and I'll be worse off than before. Anyway, totally relate and very glad I found your channel. New subscriber. Awesome videos, keep it up, great job.