Rachael Kirkconnell: I Was Blindsided (Full Interview)
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- Опубліковано 5 лют 2025
- Join Alex in the studio with The Bachelor’s Rachael Kirkconnell. Rachael details her blindside breakup from Matt James after four years together. She discusses why they never lived together, the insecurities she struggled with in their relationship, how the breakup conversation started, and what she thought of his abrupt Instagram announcement.
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Matt breaking up with Rachael will end up being the best thing that happened to her. She deserves a balanced relationship with a man who comforts his girl when she is upset. The gaslighting is so clear from the outside. Rachael you deserve soooo much more.
100000000%%%%%%%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!❤❤❤❤
Totally agree!!
Gaslighting at its best!!!
Oh yes. Matt James fumbled her so hard.
667
“I went into the conversation irritated with him and left hoping he wasn’t irritated with me” omg why is this so true
Yes it’s always a bad sign that the power balance is off and that one person loves or is more “into” the other
This is my relationship rn 🫠
I feel lil bad this is me. Like I have my purpose and fully love myself and hobbies and community and with that I could almost care less who I lose but I can easily fill my time and get into a routine like I was when I was single. But I don’t want to weaponize it but sometimes it naturally turns into that because I’m like “yea whatever, feel free to leave me and do better”
@@nicolea458 ugh I’ve been there and it’s the pits
It’s textbook gaslighting
I once sobbed because a restaurant forgot the mustard in my takeout order. And yet, when my father in law suffered 5 years later with pancreatic cancer, I was the rock for our family and took care of him while he lived with us. One moment of overwhelm and emotion does not mean you cannot face adversity with fortitude and grace when it counts.
🙏🏼
1000% agree with this!
Amen. This!!
I too was always the one having to take accountability and yet, my ex would sweep what he did under the rug or twist it back to me.
Men dont give women enough grace when are struggling with our hormones and emotions. That time of the month can be hard and trigger us off but does not mean we cannot deal with hardships. It sounds like it was a him issue and took any excuse to leave her.
Rachael, I know it’s so difficult to go no contact, but speaking from multiple experiences, the guy doesn’t want to be the bad guy. He wants to stay in contact for him, so HE doesn’t feel bad or feel like you hate him, not for you. It’s healthier for you to close the door and let the wound heal without it being split open everytime he calls or texts. ❤️ you can do this! We love you!
Mine said to en artistic friends after he dismissed me invalidated my hurt and experience during the break up. No . I deserve better than to be keep around as a back up . I deserve better and Rachel too.
He contacts you to keep you from moving on. He wants to keep you as a backup option. GO HARD NO CONTACT!!
Can’t wait for her to realize she was always the most interesting thing about him. We were literally only following him to see her!!! We’ll keep following her regardless of whatever man is by her side
Exactly. All his videos used her as a thumbnail. And some of them seemed like he was trying to embarrass her with those mid bite photos
YES!!
I stopped following her bc I couldn’t stand seeing him on every post. I’m glad I can follow her again. She will heal and find someone who actually deserves her.
@@luckypink2012 👏👏👏
THIS. ❤
"He would give me my space" "Did you want space?" "No". That tells me everything I need to know about their relationship
THIS!!!!
This whole interview is so triggering 😢
This broke my heart.
Like can you even call it him “giving her space” or was he just avoiding having to comfort her 😀 also if it’s his job and cares so much about his content why is the pressure EVER on her ? I’m having such a hard time listening to this with how much (for obvious reasons) she’s still almost defending him.
Why are avoidants the worst
Bring her back on in 6 months so we can see her realize how much better she deserved! She’s going to be just fine and she is so beautiful inside and out ❤
LITERALLY!!! When she realizes how manipulative and emotionally abusive he was. There’s a reason you felt so insecure!! It wasn’t herself, i think it was for good reason, bc he should’ve been making sure she was secure!
Yes! I agree she def deserves better ❤
This!!!
YES
nah, i say give it a year
I feel like Alex has always been a good interviewer but she's truly become a great one. Asks the questions people want answers to but is also respectful and empathetic. She's become known as the best for a reason.
It’s insane how insecure he made her feel when she’s soooooo out of his league
HEAVY ON THIS ONE
How is she out of his league? Bcuz she’s white???????? He was a foodie, marathon runner, adventurer, traveler, goofball & he’s tall and attractive. Hope she finds herself. Stop applauding average white women bcuz they’re pretty. It’s a weakness
!!!
@@amandachi3702 how is she out of his league??? Bcuz she’s white? Be serious
@@weshouldtlkliterally no one mentioned anything about race
Alex handled this interview so gently, I respect that so much. Every time she asked about clarification about his timing and behavior, it felt like she was going to school Rachel with some facts about abusive behaviors and red flags. She showed restraint in keeping it to herself. Rachel actually believes this is her fault and she is still explaining the meaning behind why he did and said things he said. She wasn't ready to receive it. I can't wait until Rachel gets to the anger part of this break up. She deserves better.
@@AmyLicerio-v2b YESSSS THIS!!!! 👏🏻🙌🏻💯
I felt like I learned sooo much from Alex 😅
He's nothing special. Just a typical user manipulator.
as quoted in greys anatomy, "he is not the sun, you are" rachel, what made the relationship so special was YOU
I WAS LITERALLY JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS QUOTE 😭
She is saying how he feels, when she doesn't know. She's being way too charitable to the point where I think she is projecting her own kindness and empathy onto him. She knows how SHE would feel, so she's convincing herself that he is a kind person too Who feels remorse. I don't think he does. Sometimes we find out thst the good parts of a person were really just projections of our good onto them.
Yes, exactly!!!
Yesss!🎉
I literally have this tattooed on my rib cage ! Has helped me in times I needed the reminder
"Do you want space?" Excellent question, Alex!!! He lacks emotional intelligence and fails to meet your needs. Overcompensating for his lack of affection is incredibly relatable. Rachel, I love how genuine and honest you are!! The best is yet to come!❤
Her seeing the post at take off ALONE after only THREE hours of the breakup on a 12 hour flight in a foreign country (her dream place that I’m sure now holds a traumatic experience ) with no service to contact her family or friends is absolutely disgusting and so cruel. He did not care about your feelings. Lord, please protect Rachael and do not allow her to let him back in. Help her to find the strength to move on and fill her heart, mind and body with complete peace about all of this.
I was just thinking this! Rachel has said before that Japan was her dream engagement spot. For him to know this, break up with her there, and then take it one step further and announce the breakup to the world when he knew she wouldn’t have the phone service to respond is just evil. He did this to intentionally hurt her
This 100%
👏👏👏
Plus the safety risk and humiliation he wanted her to experience when she landed in America alone with it being news is so crazy.
*father god
She is giving this man a lot of grace that he has not earned.
He picked her because he could tell she would take all his crap for as long as he milked it.
They were together 4 years, I’m sure she knows better than you whether or not he deserves grace.
Shes gotta come out of it. She'll feel differently after some space from the situation.
I like the way you put that.
When I infatuate about others, what did they even do to earn all this admiration and adoration?
Nothing. 😅😅
Bingo!
THIS is how you handle a public breakup!! She did it with class & dignity and can walk away from that with her head held high🫶🏻
Like talk about take accountability????! He fumbled so hard. She is so emotionally mature.
I’m impressed. Personally, I would have acted like an absolute psycho.
@@brittneyraetodayso impressive!! ❤
I cried while listening to this episode. My past relationship was almost identical. I hope Rachael will soon come back to herself and see him for who he really is, and realize that she really didn't lose anything. His perfect person does not exist..people like him are emotionally stunted and will most likely drift through their life leaving a trail of hurt behind them, unable to face themselves and the issues they are running from. Going through something like this can really mess with your self esteem... grab on to your self love and you'll make it to the other side stronger and prouder of yourself. He never deserved her love. I honestly wish her the best.
She is waaaay too kind to him and gentle. I hope she gets every amount of love she deserves and validation.
Yes and ironically men don’t want someone who’s overly nice and catering to them. They lose attraction. I should say some men, probably not all men lose interest that way.
Unfortunately, I don’t think she is done with him yet. But I understand where she’s at. She’s not done done yet.
I wouldn’t even answer his calls.. he chose to leave, he can deal with not knowing a thing about me or how I’m feeling 😂
For real!!
It's only a week out where her brain is still scrambled from years of gaslighting. She will soon find out thst she projected her own kindness and empathy onto him out of desperation to see him as a good person. she was the good in the relationship. With time, she will realize so much
As a therapist this is CLASSIC abusive behavior! So devastating. The number of times she said she felt/feels crazy. He had to make that post to control the narrative. He was selfish and only thought about himself. He went cold and tried to find something to latch onto to blame you for him not wanting to be with you. He made you think it was you. Him not taking accountability in so many of the arguments 🚩
Every woman should read the book “Why does he do that” by Lundy Bancroft.
Rachael, you are worthy of soooo much more and the man you end up with will show you the love you deserve. Heal your heart ❤
As someone who went through an avoidant discard from my soon to be ex husband 8 months into marriage (5.5 years together)… highly recommend this book too. It made me realize how abusive his behaviors were! Should be required reading for all women.
Matt needs counselling from his traumatic childhood …unfortunately until then no woman will make him whole …that’s HIS job
I just bought that book recently. Looking forward to starting it and reading it all the way through.
Fellow licensed therapist here-thank you for sharing this and sharing this book! There were red flags all over this video for covert abuse. I completely agree. Hoping Rachael is able to see what was really going on sooner than later. Sending so much love.
I apologized for 28 years and all it got me was a husband who cheated on me because “I was the problem”! I too felt crazy all the time! I’m so sad that she had to go through this! You are not crazy, it is him that has the issue!!
I love the gentle nudges from Alex that help Rachael see the toxic behaviors that were taking place. Rachael wasn't being treated right at all and she is a little closer to seeing that now because of those kind questions/comments. Everyone needs a friend like that.
Girl when a man wants to marry you he will never leave you guessing or unsure or insecure… it is 100% clear his intentions for marriage
You can tell she was walking on eggshells their entire relationship, this is no way to feel with someone you plan on spending the rest of your life with. He is so good at gaslighting her. This break up was a blessing in disguise for her. I pray she finds someone who will make her feel seen, comfortable, safe and loved because this man is NOT it!
He was bread-crumbing her, literally
She deserves so much better !!!!!!
Yes exactly!
She needs to regain her self-confidence before she can go into another relationship. Throughout this interview, she will admit to problems in the relationship and then immediately justify Matt’s behavior. She was completely accommodating to him and he lost respect for her because of that. She would have continued in this dysfunctional relationship so it is good that he finally ended it.
I agree. I think the relationship & breakup definitely has affected her self esteem.
It is physically gut wrenching to see a beautiful, kind, sensitive, intelligent girl like Rachel doubt herself so much and give so much power to someone else who may not have treated her well or respected her genuinely. I really hope she is able to find a good therapist who teaches her tools of self-love and how to really build her own self-esteem and come into her own power. Sometimes the universe teaches us the cruelest lessons so that we complete learning what we really need to learn about ourselves and truly heal.
THIS!!!!!! 👏🏽
No literally im sitting here crying for her. I want literally just hug and hold her and tell her that in 3 yrs she will not remember this moment or that man or the feeling of this pain and she will be in a much better place
@avademarinis6468 so many of us have been where she is today and we v found our way through it and discovered a new version of ourselves. She will get there in her own way and time but man it's gutwrenching to see an older version of ourselves in her tears and pain 😢
100% and it started when he dragged her thru the mud on live tv in front of the whole country for her going to a stupid party. Who does that to someone they love?
Pure abuse. Emotional abuse. He makes me sick. And then posts about God.
He was so religious that he didn't want to live together before marriage, but still stayed in the same hotel room, was intimate with her, and kept half his shit at her place. None of our business, obviously, but I'd be curious to know how they managed their finances and the income he received from posts with her in it. She deserves financial compensation for this emotional rollercoaster
The living alone part isn’t even a red flag especially in religious practices. Alex and Racheal should be better educated on cultural differences, especially if dating another race/culture. Not everyone wants to cohabitate officially without a ring.
@@sydneybharper But he was willing to do all the things married people do without marrying her 🙄
@@purpleflrp its fucked up and wrong but she allowed all these things to happen I just hope she learns from this horrible experience and uses that knowledge for actual good not just turn into every other girl that hates men.
@@purpleflrp yeah for sure. I’m just saying in isolation, not living with someone until marriage regardless of if we share a hotel room, travel together or even mostly sleep over isn’t a red flag. But that’s just my opinion.
It’s amazing how she keeps making excuses for Matt!
She’s articulate and speaks from the heart. With time and healing, I hope she’ll recognize her worth and the manipulative tactics he used on her. Eventually, she’ll find someone equally deserving of an amazing wife and life partner, where there’ll be no uncertainty. It’s clear that she wants to grow and move on. I genuinely believe sharing her story will empower many others to break free and finally feel validated. ❤
Alex did a phenomenal job supporting her. Love love love.
I was also really impressed with the interview. There were numerous times that I had to remind myself that this breakup was so fresh. Like I was mad for Rachael and was wondering why she was being so nice about the situation. I think Alex did a good job modeling to interviewers that we can be gentle and let Rachael come to terms on her own.
I think so too. I think she gave her really good advice, She’s very articulate.
She let her speak! Love coop
yes, alex, great interview!
Her seeing his post during takeoff has me absolutely shaking. God bless this woman
My anxiety could absolutely NEVER
Same. So awful
The rage I felt for her lol the fact that he NEW she didn’t have service too is crazyyyyy
My anxiety over that wouldn’t even let me get on the plane. I would’ve had to get off lol
The fact that it's still up insane to me
It really seems like Matt didn’t appreciate Rachael for the literal treasure she is. She is so calm, kind, and mature. I think he took advantage of her kindness. She seems so genuine.
I totally I agree with you
maybe he will get what he gives. *nothing*
Sounds like he's a classic narcissist.
these convos hit really close to home. It’s so devastating and confusing when you are made to feel ashamed of expressing emotion. it does not make you incapable of handling tough situations, i think it just shows that you are human and can empathize with a variety of situations
He didn’t just fail to instill confidence in her, he stripped the confidence she already had from her. I feel so bad for her omg
It’s jarring to see how insecure he’s made her
@ 100%. And it’s obvious she doesn’t realize it
Exactly my first comment here.
He didn’t do anything to bridge that gap of doubt she had about things. He expanded it or distanced himself.
in the public bathroom with my mom as a young 20s something when she asked me if me and my boyfriend at the time were going to get married. i replied and said “if he wants to marry me.” a woman popped out of the stall and said “i think you mean if YOU want him to. if that isn’t clear to him find someone else.” changed my life forever.
oh hell ya
Those random women that pop up with words of wisdom in public bathrooms are literal angels.
This is probably the most empathetic and relaxed I have seen Alex. She is always making sure Rachael is validated in her feelings and that her opinions are ok. She did a great job holding a safe space for her this episode to make sure she was comfortable talking about something so soon after it happens and giving her time to still process even on camera. She gave great advice, alex this is great!
I hope that you find someone that gets excited to plan places to eat with you, someone who holds your hand across the table when you’re overwhelmed and says kind things to you to reassure you that it’s okay. Someone who does care and isn’t aloof or seemingly uninterested in the small things. The love of your life will love the small details you care about just as much as you do and also appreciate the effort you put in to please them. I don’t think he ever thought you needed space when you were feeling emotions (justifiably). I think he didn’t want to be around it because he’s not emotionally intelligent or in tune. It’s sad your partner would leave you alone when you’re sad and I pray you find a far better support system.
I hope she reads this 1000000 times
The classic case of a narcissist in a relationship with an anxious people pleaser. My heart goes out to Rachael.
THIS!!!
1000% - that’s all I can think of… my heart hurts for her
@@alexandramaitlen5426it’s so clear! I just pray she gets the revelation and understanding she deserves. I think Alex was trying to guide her into realizing it but it’s going to take time because she still feels the need to defend him.
So much this!
This!
This episode is genuinely going to open so many eyes. You are helping so many women stand up for themselves, and for what’s right.
My ex broke up with me in the middle of cooking me dinner on my birthday after being together for 7 years. You'll get through this girl. Stop making excuses for him. You were the most interesting thing about him.
Yup his IG stock is about to plummet. No one gonna watch his food videos without Rachael
No literally 😭 he’s so boring
If you’re still dating at 7 years it’s a HUGE 🚩
@@itsmiah2youdepends on your age and other factors whether 7 years is a red flag or not.
@@dot8209 exactly
Starting a petition to encourage Rachel to BLOCK MATT on all platforms - sign here please 🖊️😂❤
yes please count me in
@@rebeccacollins4899 💪😅
I have a feeling she’s not going to take Alex’s advice for a while and will answer his calls a time or three again, but we’ve all been there. She clearly still loves him but I can’t wait for her to realize he never loved her! Can’t wait for when she finally blocks him for good.
YES PLEASE!!! She'll be fine.❤❤❤
Im unfollowing Matt, but will of course, continue following Rachel.
The pain in her saying “I don’t think I can” go back to him broke me into pieces. 😢 we all want to give her a big hug!!
🤣🤣🤣
@@bluehibiscus502😂😂
“I’m laying in bed and I want him to comfort me, but he’s the one that hurt me. And I’m so mad at him, but I’m also still so sad. And of course I still love him, so yeah just a lot of emotions to work through.” Woah, I think we’ve all felt this. This is so relatable, yet horrible, and I hope she heals and processes and moves onto way better than this. She deserves so much better!!
Rachael is such a PURE soul. I was in a bad relationship where someone told me that my bf at the time dimmed my light. I’ve never forgotten that
This interview made me so emotional. Rachael is such a PURE soul. I was in a bad relationship where someone told me that my bf at the time dimmed my light. I’ve never forgotten that. I think that’s what happened to her. I can’t wait to see this woman glow from the inside out the way we all see her. We ride at dawn for Rachael!!!
Him falling asleep on the phone post break up and her having to hangup is insane to visualize, breaks my heart, makes my blood boil. All of the above
This pisssssed me off too!!! “And I just had to hang up” omfg. Still everything on his terms.
This broke me!! Like her STILL waiting on him. Sooooo out of his league
A perfect example of how little respect he has for her. And the fact that she didn’t even see anything wrong with it and was justifying it by saying they both had really bad jetlag is beyond disturbing and sadly, very telling of how little respect she has for herself.
That guy went on that show as a career move, and everything he’s done since has been all about him and his image. Does anyone remember when there were stories being told about him and his friend being ‘F-Boys’? Then we started reading about him being involved with charities. Which in turn changed the public’s perception of him, all image. Even down to the way he posted the break up! (Oh, am not a bad guy, don’t hate me) wtff?? It’s so sad to know that we have to deal with such selfish people who gets-away with this type of callous behaviour, people who just take, take, take. People who are soooo!!! Into themselves that the people in their lives who give their all to and for them end up with a ton of heart aches. I wish her all the best, all the peace of mind, spirit and heart and all the time she deserves to heal and stay strong! ♥️
My ex boyfriend did the same exact to me. It’s heartbreaking. 😢
The crazy thing is Rachael is quite literally one of the most beautiful woman I’ve seen. She has a warm spirit that makes her a 10. And for HER to be insecure just speaks volumes to how he didn’t encourage her forreal.
If you see this girl, I’m so proud of you for sticking with it. And that post was truly a blessing. God was holding you accountable in how much YOU deserve. Not the other way around. You better fly mama
😂 no.
“its one of those things you have to stand up for yourself, even if you dont want to” 😭❤️
This is mind blowing. Their relationship looked so “perfect” online and the whole 5 years she was straight up dealing with a narcissist
💯
And a gaslighter
💯
SOOO perfect, i would send her reels to my friend like i need this relationship
Hes a narc and she’s a bigot🤷🏽♀️
She loves him still. She’s so quick to defend him after every (somewhat) negative thing she says ❤️ I hope she has the best post breakup glow up. She deserves the world
Was listening to this on Spotify and had to come here to vent. I am so applaud at just how low Rachel has been made to feel, to think and to start believing as fact. This reeks of gaslighting, manipulation of feelings, and borderline abusive. He made her feel so insecure and crazy that she thinks she’s overreacting to what she’s gone through. This is absolutely insane. The worst part is no one knew the real extent of their relationship and problems. I just pray for her to get some counseling/therapy to help her heal from this awful relationship and person and finds peace in her heart. She seems like a really sweet person who deserves to have peace and genuine love. ❤️
Honestly, the way he broke up with her was so diabolical. Totally speaks to his character. I pray she heals and understands that she did nothing wrong and learns to fall back in love with herself. Sending so much love in such a devastating time.
Rachael - I just want you to know that the reason we followed Matt was because of YOU. Never underestimate how smart, beautiful, and interesting YOU are. Rooting for you. I hope you find your Prince Charming who treats you right!!! Thank you for your vulnerability. Love you girl!
I already unfollow him. It might be immature action but this is one way of supporting Rachael.
@@yolandatolentino8415how is unfollowing Matt supporting Rachel exactly?
Alex is such an insanely good interviewer! Her style changes based on the interviewee and in this case she is really listening and allowing Rachael the platform to tell her story ... so good!!!
This is giving me PTSD 😭 you WILL find that man that loves, respects you and loves you completely! Even if it feels like the end of the world right now, one day you will look back and think about how this experience made you grow as a person and you won’t ever let anyone treat you like you’re not worth loving
i gotta give the applause to alex for this interview.. i could tell she handled this interview with such grace knowing that it was so fresh. she made her feel comfortable in the setting & gave her the reassurance that every girl needs going through a breakup that she’s not alone!!!
& to rachel if you are reading this, you are so strong! i can’t wait to see where this next adventure of life takes you bc i know it’s going to be good!!!! i can’t wait for you to look back on this interview one day & be proud of this person you once were, but even more proud of the person you are now! we love you ❤
I love that Kelsey has a totally different perspective on ending up with the bachelor - she says that Joey picked her out of all of them so why should she worry about other women - and I think that also says a lot about Joey and the way he assures Kelsey vs how Matt treated Rachel
100% I also think him hitting up that girl during the like 5 seconds they weren’t together after the show did more damage than she realizes. Despite her attempts of justifying it by defending him, I think it was pretty detrimental with regard to their relationship foundation at the outset.
@@chloëleeonsthis! If reality steve never told her, I guarantee you Matt would have kept to himself
Oh 100% this is so important to be validating after a difficult process as the bachelor is
He has another woman on his arm days later, what does that say about Matt? Rachel is giving Matt way too much grace.
Kelsey is also a bit older and (I think) had already been through a serious relationship before Joey. They are almost the same age. For perspective, Rachael was only 23/24 when she was on the show and Matt was already 29. It’s a huge divide in terms of life experiences and being able to build confidence and trust in yourself.
The fact that Alex can speak with such kindness and love, always keeping in mind her Daddy Gang listeners and how she wants to help us all, but more importantly, she was so careful with Rachael's heart. What a perfect interview. Thank you both for such a healing conversation!
The way Alex allows her guests to talk and not talk over them means the world to me and then her reassurance at the end to Rachael that she deserves SO MUCH MORE was the cherry on top
My heart is literally breaking for her. She was so strong and brave and vulnerable. And proud of CHD for being so gentle with her.
Rachael is about to upgrade big time. She’ll be with a pro athlete or an actor within 3 months. Book it
😮
She shouldn’t though. Love Rachel but she needs time on her own to learn how to respect herself and gain self worth
doubt it. She peaked with Matt James.
Neither of those sound like upgrades. Hopefully she finds a kind, accomplished, stable and mature man who will share her goals and life desires and treat her with respect and care.
@@lowusua2416facts! An actor or an athlete is only good for someone who will settle for other women in the mix all in exchange for extreme financial stability. She is SO not that type of
Almost crying listening to her saying she felt the other women were prettier and cooler and she was just “a contestant” and “some girl.” She is so beautiful.
She's totally out of his league
She’s so gorgeous it makes me sad she even thought that.
This!! She is absolutely stunning!! That broke my heart even more. 🥺
She was my favourite from night one. She is gorgeous
I always thought she was stunning from the moment she showed up on his season. I hope she finds someone truly deserving of her 🥹
She’s giving him way too much grace. I love that Alex constantly validated her!
That’s abused and she didn’t even know it. Her self esteem is so low you can hear it in her voice; she was controlled by him and he made her feel so small and insecure. Abusers always make you feel like it’s you. Glad she got away. And by the way, you are badass girl. Thanks for sharing your story. You’re an inspiration for many young girls.
him posting right away tells me everything i need to know!!!
Player vibes
I feel so bad for her. Imagine coming home from a long flight and knowing your phone is gonna blow up.
Yep, so he can start dating new girls asap
exactly! classic matt, like she said LOL (GOOD RIDDANCE)
Right! Hours after the breakup is soooo strange. I think He was already done with that relationship. He was already checked out. He was so done that he was thinking about the followers and audience before her, her family, and her friends. He was so done that he didnt want to comfort her when she was upset. He wanted everyone to know so it could just be over completely. Either that or his emotions were just going crqzy and he made a rash decision. However, other commenters have said that his breakup post is still up so idk 😅
She doesn’t realize it yet, but this will be her biggest blessing!!! Can’t wait for her glow up!!!
yes!!!!❤❤❤
rejection is redirection...rejection is protection! the angels are protecting you Rachel!
Rachel is past her best-before date. It doesn’t get better for her.
And he'll look back someday and realize he Fucked up. It's his loss.
All relationships have struggles much bigger than HIS questioning her insecurities and minor reactions.
@@HomeSchool4YouLol what
Can’t wait to see her proposed to and glowing and happy in a couple years with the love and grace she deserves. Rachel, you are going to be just fine mama.
Alex, you handled this interview with such kindness and care! ❤
watching her defend him is insane 😭😭😭 i’m literally screaming at my phone. RACHELLL!!! THE POST IS STILL UP. HES NOT SORRY!!! I canttt. He doesn’t regret it. He left the post up for his ONE MILLION FOLLOWERS to continue to fester over. He did it to make a statement, knew it was wrong and is doubling downnnn. If he was truly remorseful he wouldn’t not only deleted the post but also posted a PUBLIC APOLOGY to you since he decided to make the situation public to begin with. He does not consider your feelings and he is not this good guy. She is giving him so much grace that he doesn’t deserve in the slightest
And the fact he’s making money from it too
What post 🥹
@Trashypanda222what money? There’s no ad attached to it and he wasn’t selling anything. What’re you talking about?
@@VMohdude-these “celebrities” and influencers typically make money on every single post they make…which varies depending on the platform and circumstances involved. It’s a post that is being shared and talked about, which brings him more attention, possibly more followers, which makes him more money.
@@Kekristine oh my god no. Firstly, we’re talking about Matt’s Instagram post. Celebs and influencers and Instagram itself, only make money from ads. That’s where the “paid advertising” tab on the top of a post means. A post about a personal romantic relationship ending makes Matt literally nothing. That post of his is being definitely shared and talked about, and arguably bringing him more followers but that’s it. Why would Instagram pay him for announcing he and Rachel broke up? That site only gets money from advertisements paying to promote their products on their site. Instagram itself doesn’t pay people to post. So please stop talking like you know how this all works because you clearly are just talking outta your ass and frankly it’s embarrassing.
She’s so gorgeous and spoke so respectfully and she deserves the world! I do think she handled this with grace, expressed her feelings but didn’t push for others to bag on him.
“Do you want space?” Perfect question Alex!!! He is not emotionally intelligent and doesnt meet your needs. Overcompensating for his lack of affection is so relatable. Love how real and honest you are Rachel!! The best is yet to come ❤
He is the one who should feel insecure! Not you! You’re amazing and beautiful! Just the way you talk. It’s obvious you have such a good heart! ❤
Going no contact is the best advice you'll ever get. Even when it's hard, stand your ground. You will find your person Rachael, because you are so deserving of being loved the way you should be. ❤
She definitely needs to block him and go zero contact. I think he’s going to realize he really screwed up and want her back.
@@kimmyfromclt100%
Sad to see how broken and insecure this man made her feel. I think she came on CHD to hold herself accountable to never take him back.
i met them in the bahamas and Rachel was SO nice and attentive and Matt didn’t really acknowledge us and was on his phone I hope she finds what she deserves shes so kind and full of love
He probably gets those interactions a lot. You’re not entitled to his acknowledgement.
@@VMohdude-man you’re really going to battle for bro in these comments 😂
@@Sarahg-gf4qi someone has too🙏 women here (in the comments) are portraying him as something he’s not. And Matt is the reason I got interested in the Bachelor world in the first place😢
@@Sarahg-gf4qi I'm a guy!! I've been in love with Rachel from the first time she stepped out of the limo on the bachelor. And I woulda done ANYTHING!!! to trade shoes with Matt and date Rachel. She's absolutely gorgeous. She's beautiful in and out!
But whilst every girl on here writes sympathy letters for Matt breaking her heart (which I hate ofc), have you seen the divorice rates of women breaking men's hearts.
So whilst all the feminists gather for a pitty party coz this is f*cked up, I wish women would keep the same energy - coz more women literally divorce men 80% of the times. That's after he gets on one knee for her, has children with her - that's breaking up a family and taking his kids away from him. Because courts tend to favor women over men, esp when it comes to child custody.
And nope, go look at the data, it's not coz of abuse, toxicity or etc.. in fact, when it comes to abuses and psychotic/narcissistic behavior, women are accountable for MOST single-handed cases of abuse or violence in relationships. Just go look at the reports.
Yeah emotionally unavailable and avoidant
This was so eye opening. I’m with my bf for 9 years and I’m still waiting in his time line of kids, engagements and marriage. This is the first podcast I can relate to so much. Thank you so much for this 🥺🩷 your amazing Rachael.
@@AlexisSereta 9 years??! You gonna make it a decade of your life ? Leave that man !!
At his grown age, making his breakup announcement on social media like that after 4 years together?? She meant nothing to him and she loved him
right and then ask “how are you?” she’s better than I am, I would have lost my damn mind 😂
@@alexbrooke8433I wouldn’t have even answered. He didn’t deserve it.
And then tarnishing the name of God and the word of God to do it is crazy knowing he actively hurt the one person who he should love the most. The fake religiosity is such a tired personality to have on social media anymore
And he’s very media trained. He knows better.
Yup he's just not that into her
I almost feel like she is describing narcissistic abuse & gaslighting 😳 I did notice that he was critical of her often in their videos. He would act like it was playful banter or teasing, but I think over time it would absolutely plant a seed in her mind that these things made her ‘silly’ or ‘weird’ & would make any person feel insecure. I hope that she finds a person that builds her up & helps her to recognize what a special person she is. She is truly so sweet & such a class act.
I definitely heard the gaslighting when he said she doesn’t take responsibility for her wrongs..
1000% narc abuse
Almost?! Nah. This is TEXTBOOK. 💯
And him calling her every couple of days to check in on her is NOT his guilt, it’s the way he reminds her she’s weak without him. Another tactic to strip away her confidence!!
@ yes! There is an agenda behind it. Like it’s a control thing or is wanting to know if she moved on so he can be like see, she is the one who was one foot out already..
Rachael being intimidated by how pretty the other girls were is wild to me bc she is genuinely one of the most drop dead beautiful people.
Yes, I hope she recognizes her worth. She has a beautiful, kind spirit
Literally!!!!!
I always thought she could literally be a model!!! She is sooo gorgeous
Hearing Rachael's perspective was eye-opening; it's incredible how quickly public perception can change. 😳💔 I'm glad she's taking the time to share her truth and reflect on the experiences she's had. 🌟
Rachel .. I just got absolutely GUTTED and blindsided by who I thought was the love of my life. On the same day you did. Listening to this has helped me heal so deeply and made me feel so un alone. You are not grieving alone and are so inspiring on how strong you have handled such a pain without sacrificing your dignity.
Blessings on your healing journey 🫶🏼
I absolutely get SO emotional and overstimulated over what is seemingly nothing, especially on my period. So normal!!! And my husband is so supportive and comforting during that time!!
Yesss 👏🏼👏🏼 secure men provide support and comfort and don’t make you feel bad
Yes! Same! If you can’t love me and comfort me through that, then what about the rest of life through ups and downs.
Yess Meto girl 🥹I feel so bad for her cause he manipulated
Yeah this was huge red flag to me.
Same!!!
Girl you deserve so much better!!!!!!!!! DO NOT GO BACK TO HIM. The man that is meant for you would NEVER leave you. Period.
Yesss, pleaseeee don't go back bc he will probably try to come back after the grass isn't greener on the other side of what he is doing now.
Posting that while she’s flying home is diabolical. I feel so sorry for her and I’m so thrilled she got out of that relationship.
How manipulative. He breaks it off. Posts a very public breakup post just hours after without notifying her, as she's sitting in her seat on her flight knowing she will not have time to process this alone and will have to face it publicly. And now he has the audacity to keep on calling her every few days to check in? I hope Rachel doesn't pick up anymore and doesn't allow him back into her life. He will continue to get what he can from her without the label and she's in a vulnerable state of mind where she might just let him. I hope she walks away now. He needs to at least have the decency to STOP contacting her. You broke up with her so you no longer have the right to have access to her, fall asleep on the phone with her, and keep checking in on her just to look like the nice guy.
Omg the fact that he fell asleep. Even that was disrespectful.
seems like he just wants her to stay obsessed with him classic narcissist
I feel like he was checking in with her to do damage control because he knows she’s going to talk. So he doesn’t want her to say bad things about him
He’s also “checking in on her” post break up NOT bc he all of a sudden cares or even feels guilty but rather his intentions are to remind her she’s still weak and weaker without him! It’s a classic narcissist tactic that continues to strip away her confidence!!
Breaking up with her while she is having a hard time after trying to HELP him find a restaurant for him to review, on her period, on her favorite country and right before going home to a baby shower and publicly announcing it to the world before she can tell her family and knowing she won’t have service for the next 12 hours is diabolical. That’s sounds like something a person that hates you would do..
The way he handled everything was so cruel and he didn't care about Rachael's emotional well being
This is just so so cruel
My ex is this way too
Yep. Reminds me of the time someone bought me my favorite takeout and dumped me in the parking lot of my job right before I had to go in for a shift. No time to reach out to anyone for support or process, just had to go in and try not to fall apart in front of strangers.
Aww boohoo 😂🤣
She needs to cut off his access to her. Don’t just tell him he doesn’t need to call, stop answering or block him. He deserves to feel the pain of losing her, not the comfort of knowing she’ll still answer every time.
I agree. When a man treats you this way, he has to lose ALL access to you. Rachael will learn to love herself & she will come out on the other side. She deserves better
Why should they cut all contact? You just sound vindictive with all the “hE nEeDs To FeEl ThE pAiN”They can still have a good non romantic relationship.
@@VMohdude-he was vindictive when he calculated the break up and the post, her cutting all contact is protecting herself from any further vindictive behavior from him. If he wanted a friendship with her he would have respected her enough to get home before humiliating her online
@ the break up literally wasn’t calculated, did you even watch this video? He isn’t being vindictive towards her, she explicitly said he wasn’t. Also he already apologized for the post and she forgave him.
I pray she NEVER takes another call or ever sees him AGAIN.
This was so pre-meditated. Man wanted to let the world know he was on the market again asap!
He tells her his post was probably a mistake...yet he hasn't taken it down or publicly said that. Poor beautiful girl..I pray she gets strong once she gets through the hurt and sees how amazing she is.... and also who he really is too..
My thoughts too. He’s probably wanted to break up for some time but felt guilty. Plainly not ready to settle down and not play the field
He publicly broke up JUST in time for when The Bachelor’s new season is trending, Matt def planned the timing of the break up. But they’re both better off - they’ll each find more compatible partners.
“Can’t see myself married to you” but good enough to basically live together for 4 years. What a douche
Very similar experience. I’ll never forget the time my ex of 7 years told me “I want to get married someday, just not to you”
He definitely was looking for an out he did her so dirty
@@bbgrl95_for not getting married? Which mostly fail nowadays anyway, you’re delusional.
@@Mirandaandmaltipoosholy shit 💔
@@Mirandaandmaltipoosmine said this too! Hahah 4 years later, that breakup was a BLESSING
Props to Alex for asking all the right questions. She navigated a very emotional and raw conversation with so much care. Also spot on with her advice for NC. Rachael will be so much better off moving on in the end!
Her story reminds me so much of my 14-year relationship with my ex-husband. Made me feel I was the crazy one, I was in the wrong, dramatic and yet I had to always apologize for his lack of accountability. 4 years is a lot but at least it is not 10+ years wasted... someone will see your worth
Rachael if you see this.. This is a blessing in disguise! You were living in fight or flight in your relationship. There’s someone out there that will take care of you the way you deserve ❤️.. take time, heal.. heartbreak often sheds light to you relearning to love yourself and knowing your worth. Hang in there!!
She felt insecure because he made her feel that way, right from the start. Life is about to get so much better for her 💖
i promise there are men out there that will comfort you about the “little things”
Absolutely!
@@authormagdaI'm a guy!! I've been in love with Rachel from the first time she stepped out of the limo on the bachelor. And I woulda done ANYTHING!!! to trade shoes with Matt and date Rachel. She's absolutely gorgeous. She's beautiful in and out!
But whilst every girl on here writes sympathy letters for Matt breaking her heart (which I hate ofc), have you seen the divorice rates of women breaking men's hearts.
So whilst all the feminists gather for a pitty party coz this is f*cked up, I wish women would keep the same energy - coz more women literally divorce men 80% of the times. That's after he gets on one knee for her, has children with her - that's breaking up a family and taking his kids away from him. Because the law tends to favor men when it comes to child custody.
And nope, go look at the data, it's not coz of abuse, toxicity or etc.. in fact, when it comes to abuses and psychotic/narcissistic behavior, women are accountable for MOST single-handed cases of abuse or violence in relationships. Just go look at the reports.
I'm a guy!! I've been in love with Rachel from the first time she stepped out of the limo on the bachelor. And I woulda done ANYTHING!!! to trade shoes with Matt and date Rachel. She's absolutely gorgeous. She's beautiful in and out!
But whilst every girl on here writes sympathy letters for Matt breaking her heart (which I hate ofc), have you seen the divorice rates of women breaking men's hearts.
So whilst all the feminists gather for a pitty party coz this is f*cked up, I wish women would keep the same energy - coz more women literally divorce men 80% of the times. That's after he gets on one knee for her, has children with her - that's breaking up a family and taking his kids away from him. Because courts tend to favor women over men, esp when it comes to child custody.
And nope, go look at the data, it's not coz of abuse, toxicity or etc.. in fact, when it comes to abuses and psychotic/narcissistic behavior, women are accountable for MOST single-handed cases of abuse or violence in relationships. Just go look at the reports.
@@authormagda I'm a guy!! I've been in love with Rachel from the first time she stepped out of the limo on the bachelor. And I woulda done ANYTHING!!! to trade shoes with Matt and date Rachel. She's absolutely gorgeous. She's beautiful in and out!
But whilst every girl on here writes sympathy letters for Matt breaking her heart (which I hate ofc), have you seen the divorice rates of women breaking men's hearts.
So whilst all the feminists gather for a pitty party coz this is f*cked up, I wish women would keep the same energy - coz more women literally divorce men 80% of the times. That's after he gets on one knee for her, has children with her - that's breaking up a family and taking his kids away from him. Because courts tend to favor women over men, esp when it comes to child custody.
And nope, go look at the data, it's not coz of abuse, toxicity or etc.. in fact, when it comes to abuses and psychotic/narcissistic behavior, women are accountable for MOST single-handed cases of abuse or violence in relationships. Just go look at the reports.
Rachel is so sweet, and she seems like a great person who got pulled into a very wild world. Literally everything from going on the show, to getting together, to breaking up decided by someone else. That sucks! That is crazy to me and she definitely deserves better then that. So now we have left the show behind, and the relationship, all we have left is her. A beautiful, kind, interesting person who loves Japan and looks way too good is a sweatshirt set. She is gonna be fine and now I can stop pretending I want to follow Matt and I can just follow her.
One day she will look back and see that his hesitations weren’t her insecurities, they were his. I pray for her healing and that she finds the truest love🤍
That's beautifully said❤😢
He projected when he said “she had a hard time apologizing”. You can’t convince me this wasn’t an emotionally abusive (possibly narcissistic) relationship. She’ll realize it in time; I think she’s already starting to.
totally. I need alex to help her see it all
I agree... I know she wants to protect him and we don't know what happened behind closed doors, but her describing their interactions made me sad for her. Hopefully she's okay.
It’s so interesting to see her say she was nervous she picked the wrong restaurant or wanted to stay quiet because it was a possibility of him being upset - speaks volumes
yup.
This woman is so good at interviewing. She needs to interview everyone.
This is a tale as old as time when you date a broken and emotionally unavailable man. A lot of us have been there. She’ll look back on this moment happy that she never married that man.
That’s what I’ve concluded as well. It’s not all men.
It’s men with broken backgrounds who haven’t done the work to realize or resolve their past experiences.
I def come from a broken background but don’t ever think about getting in a relationship until I feel like I can give my best self to the other person. Been in therapy for four years straight.
Yup! He got the outcome he wanted for the show… leaving alone! He didn’t want to commit then, and he doesn’t now! Seems crazy he hasn’t done ANY emotional labor to heal is traumas in 4 years. She’s better off!
@@LizNeptune you don’t know whether he did any emotional labor or not, based on holding out on marriage. Stop talking like you know him.
@@VMohdude-you seem to be happy to defend him. Do you know him personally?
@@karencurlymystictarot7966 ah yes, because you have to know someone to defend him from strangers on the internet making baseless accusations about his character🤡
There is NOTHING wrong with Rachael!!! Matt clearly has issues in relationships that he needs to deal with. I hope she finds someone who loves her unconditionally and gives her the validation she deserves in knowing they’re in it for the long haul, proposal and happy ending! ❤
Can’t wait for her to find an equal partner ❤ I hope talking through it with Alex has helped her realize she deserves to find someone who doesn’t make her wonder.
She’ll move onto an athlete in a month.
@@StacyNYC-f6rWe don't do this here, we are girl's girls first and foremost so let's not say things like that
I’ve never commented on anything. But I felt compelled to say this was the best episode yet… I felt like I was there hanging out with girlfriends talking about their breakup. So good and so much empathy for her. She was so introspective and I really admire that. The advice at the end was chefs kiss.. never felt condescending. Beautiful episode.
He’s making her feel as though it’s her fault that HE doesn’t feel ready. I take back further below when I said I think he’s a narcissist… He’s a full blown narcissist and I’m so happy she’s not with him. Shes going to find her partner and look back on this relationship and see what we all see now! ❤
This is textbook gaslighting. She deserves so much better
Yes 💯 Rachel you deserve so much better!!
Yes! Listening to this is honestly giving me flashbacks about being with my soon-to-be ex-husband, who is 100% a textbook narcissist!!
Girl you put too much pressure on yourself. It will take time but breaking up will be the best decision of your life. Take time to heal and grow. Believe how worthy you are! You got this
I’m so glad CHD has become a home for people to speak publicly in a setting like this.
The fact that this man tried to break her. Ladies, listen up…never let a man degrade you…you are the prize. She was too good for him.
He did her a favor! Matt was so gross with food. He chews with his mouth open and smacks 🤮