The first story sounds more like OP is calling out her husband for hypocrisy. Because of he is saying not to help the cheater sister, while he is helping his cheater mother. The way OP called him out is AH, but calling out in general is NTA, could have explained it better and not go instantly for the nuke red button.
That's what I was getting from it. OP's MIL was a chronic cheater and her husband didn't cut her off. Why should OP cut off her sister for doing the same thing?
First story OP is NTA. Just because her sister was unfaithful in her marriage is no reason to cut her off as family and it's illogical for the OPs husband to ask her to do so. Unless the sister's husband is the OP's husband's family or friend, it shouldn't affect him in any way.
I think only people who haven't been in relationships think this. It sets a president that you don't care about upholding your values and keeping people who don't, out of your life. I don't think you'd feel confident in your SO if all their friends and family were cheaters who they support
For the second story, the poster mentioned his brother working at "macca's". That's Australian slang for McDonalds. Weed is actually illegal in Australia, so I can understand why he had kicked the brother out.
This! Even in America, there are still a lot of states where it’s illegal. If there are custody negotiations in family court, a little bit of weed could mean OP losing their kid. If you live with someone, and their rules are about their kid and the child’s safety, just don’t bring it home, as easy as that. One parent can always made things hard/ will use anything to help get custody, and drug tests/ home visits happen depending on the situation. Weed or not, it’s still not such a great look, even if it’s based on bias and not law
Thanks! I’m from Canada and weed is legal, but tbh, I don’t understand why it’s illegal elsewhere. I still respect that, but it’s on the same field as alcohol to me.
I get very concerned when Jon and Riley get confused by wording and then sound board off each other. I feel like y'all clearly forgot the original point was that OP was asked to cut off her sister for cheating when her husband did not hold those standards to himself in regards to his mother's own infidelity. The problem isn't about holding the sister or mother accountable for their errors in their OWN marriages. The problem is between OP and her husband in regards to his hypocrisy. For the story with drugs; tell me you live in a green state 🤣🤣 For the states that have not passed that privilege something as light as weed is regarded the same as meth when law get involved. Especially if you're in a southern state. Yes many places have decriminalized it but for those unfortunate others OP is valid in being concerned. If his brother got busted on OP's property the cops won't care that it was his brother's. He's leaving himself open to wrongfully have his child taken away.
Story 1, NTA. The husband was being more than a hypocrite, he was being abusive. He is expecting his wife to turn her back on a sibling she loves just because he is not comfortable but it’s litereally not any different than what he did for his mom. Except in op’s case she isnt keeping the secret or making excuses for the cheater like the husband did for his mom. In essence op is being a more classy person in the situation than op’s husband was in his situation. I dont believe op should have ANY accountability for the sister,.. it’s not op’s place to hold her sister accountable, her only job is to be a sister. Because ultimately the sister has to pull her junk together and get sorted so she can continue on being a mother to the niece and nephew. People who do wrong things still deserve support from their loved ones whether we the outsiders agree or not. Op’s husband was in the wrong. He can not like the cheater sister in law but he has no business trying to end a sibling relationship that doesnt affect him personally. The SIL was not trying to get op to also become a cheater, so its not the husbands place to insert himself between them. Seems to me OP was supportive of listening to hubby when he told her about his mom,.. and it shocked him to the core when op dropped the bomb of hypocrisy not only about the comparison between his mom and SIL, but the difference of how op was supportive of him loving his mom but hubby is now not supportive of op loving her sister in this situation, and thats what wigged him out. Because in his world his mom is allowed the hall pass from the world but the world better be moral and righteous. Sorry husband of op, life ain’t like that.
What?? Isn't it TOO harsh of the husband to demand OP stops having a relartionship with her sister?? Op was just pointing out her husbands brazen hypocrisy. Even moreso when OP explains all of the positive impact his own cheating mother had on him! For him to support her niblings not having that same opportunity with their mother, is so effed! People are complex, her sister is not ALL bad, and a horrible mom in every way, just because she cheated. OP's husband is right in saying the kids need the support. The kids need support because they have been put in a no win situation by both parents, and are now being weaponized to hurt mom, which only hurts THEM, in SO many ways. They need support in continuing a relationship with their mom, and not being made to feel guilty if they still want her in their lives. They NEED their mom, and dad. Dad needs to get help asap, so he can stop continuing the pain that mom started here.
My parents are Chinese and my mom was forced to marry my dad in an arranged marriage because my dad also had American citizenship. My mom’s family wanted to emigrate. My mom was 22 and my dad was 30. My mom said that she cried often about the man she was in love with and in a relationship with before she was forced to marry my dad. Marriage lasted maybe 3 years and when I was 6 months old, my mom took a stand and divorced my dad. She didn’t cheat, she just couldn’t be in a marriage she had no say in and be controlled by a man she didn’t love. What I’m trying to say is that I understand what OP’s husband’s mom did but it was common for the time. Doesn’t make it right though.
Just because someone cheated does not mean that you cut them off, and support their children being alienated from them. That’s what you do to people who won’t take accountability for their cheating, and the fall out that follows. You cut off the people who refuse to change. Holding someone accountable and cutting them off are two different things. Tin hat: I think the husband is projecting. He would have cut off his mom if it wasn’t his mom. He had no choice in that. He thinks he has a choice in whether or not he can cut off his SIL, and is disregarding that his wife would feel differently… because that’s her sister.
Story 2: if he was in a custody fight or was always at risk of one with the mother, idc what dr*gs it was, Brother is out. Kids over brother, all the way, like Riley said it's hard to get custody back after that.
Story 1: nta. Dont shame the op john. The husband is a hypocrite. If he doesnt want anything to do with cheaters. But keeps a relationship with his mother. Shame on john for throwing op under the bus.
That's what I have been thinking. The husband's hypocrisy is the biggest red flag. He wants her to cut out a close and important family member. That isolation manipulation from the husband is the biggest red flag .
OP husband is the one carrying the little red flag. If husband mom gets to be a good mother regardless of the cheating, then the sister should be allowed to be a mother eventhough she cheated. It is NOT OP's responsability to judge her sister because at the end of the day, the sister is living the result of her own actions. The only way I would find OP a red flag is if she was covering her or knew she was cheating before brother in law found out. Otherwise, not the time. OP should not have to validate to her husband how what her sister did is wrong.
as someone who has witnessed a custody battle upclose.. second OP should've kicked him out immediately. giving him a second chance was more than he deserved. something like that, especially in a country where even the soft stuff is illegal, will ruin your custody agreement. you will be deemed unfit to parent and a danger to your kid, you'll be lucky if you even get superivised visits. custody laws/battles are no joke..
7:34 Honestly, there’s a huge chance that he’s cheating on OP he’s been raised since he was a kid that cheating is okay as long as you don’t like your partner…
YOU ARE WRONG. In story no.1 You read in the very beginning that she said, my sister was wrong. Also, she stated the husband has big mental abuse issues with Mother. Sorry, OP is not in the wrong. Family is family. His Mom her Sister is family. To state his mother is more important is WRONG.
Story #1…how is pointing out the husband’s hypocrisy being an AH? She is absolutely right and is not the AH. Supporting her sister is not the same as condoning infidelity.
It is not her place to "hold her sister accountable" also saying the mom sounds like a great person because she said 1 sentence after their wedding is a little extreme. What OP said was fair. He is being hypocritical.
Wow this was an amazing ride, I really like the last chapter with Jon and Riley but I miss Sam, hope to see him soon. Great job guys! Have an amazing new year op family.
Story 1: It was a low blow for her husband to try and tell OP what she should do with her family. Especially when his verdict made him a giant hypocrite. NTA at all. And idk, making hypothetical excuses for the mom’s cheating, when there might be excuses for the sister’s cheating as well for all we know, is a bit funky.
The first story I understand both sides of it I'm willing to bet it has nothing to do with her sister cheating on a personal level but the husband being concerned she might influence his wife to do the same
@laleona1221 how is it hypocrisy??? I just was saying I can see it being more difficult calling your mom out than your sister. I never said that op was in the wrong, just saying a point that I see everyday. I would rather yell at my sister for cheating than my mom
The reason why he did not continue working after he went for the money is because if he had then they would have said the accident wasn't that serious. He wasn't in all that amount of pain and they probably would have reduced his reward so his attorney probably told him to stay home.
First story OP said she was half Vietnamese so she understood the filial piety aspect, and she may have admitted that the same applied to her and her sister Edit: and OP’s MIL apparently bragged about how many suitors she had in Vietnam and about how OP’s FIL was the richest and kindest
3:57 she only mentioned what his Mom did because he told her that she shouldn’t see her sister. He probably does feel some type of way about his Moms cheating but I honestly don’t feel like he can be that hateful towards cheaters because he is still in regular contact with his own Mom who like I said I’m sure did some damage but it couldn’t have been that much if he still talks to her all the time. I see what yall are saying BUT I also see what OP is saying too. If husband can regularly spend time with and talk to his long time cheating Mom than OP should be able to do the same with her undisclosed amount of time cheating sister.
OP 1 is NTA. Of ALL people, her husband should realize that someone doesn't stop being a beloved family member just because they did something stupid and wrong. I also dont get where you seeing her not holding her sister accountable. She hardly talks about her sister's situation. For all we know she's holding her sister accountable in every conversation they have. Or maybe she's not. We don't know. It is entirely possible to hold someone accountable and still be compassionate and loving towards them.
You seem to be failing to understand anything, doesn't matter if she's a great mother or not she cheated repeatedly and in front of her child like it was a nudist purity contest gone wild OP's sister cheated and is getting blasted by her husband because who would ever like a cheater- And his mother is an even worse kind of cheater cause she involved children He's acting like OP's sister cheated on him and that's the problem She's also never wanted a son and blamed the dad for that and used that as another excuse for cheating If he doesn't want comments about his own unfaithful mother than he shouldn't throw stones in a glass house, It's not even glass cause what his mother did was WORSE!
You're comparing a child bridge who was impregnated at 18 by a 50 year old man, to a grown woman who was married to someone her own age, who she chose to marry, etc. OP's MIL was wrong for cheating, but her cheating came from the fact that she couldn't leave without risking losing her child, visa, home, income, schooling, etc. She cheated on a pedophile who picked her because she was barely legal, and old enough to take to the states. She was separated from her family and probably felt she was forced to stay in America for better income and opportunities for her child. OP's sister can get divorced. OP's sister is acting like the victim when she was the one who broke up the family. OP is trying to justify something currently happening by comparing it to something that happened before she was even around her husband
It's mean spirited but it's relevant and hypocritical of him once he realized it was wrong he still didn't cut his mom off like he's demanding of his wife and her sister
Story 1: NTA, the husband was being extremely hypocritical. Y'all are in the wrong for blaming OP in any way about this Story 2: It doesn't matter how "hard" the drug is or the amount, if it's found in the house OP could lose custody of his kid. John please stop immediately taking the obviously bad person's side, OP didn't overreact, if anything he was too lenient in not kicking him out he first time.
Lol! Drugs around the house with kids in it is dangerous as f*ck, even if it's a gram or less... They ingest everything they put their hands on. You're right, OP could've went way harder!!! Reminds me of the story of the dog getting out of a room and eating drugs and suffering. And they still were somehow hesitant on siding with the dog's owner...
First story OP NTA, the husband is being a hypocrite if he thinks its okay to push his discomfort onto OP's relationship with her sister. And I don't understand what you guys mean by saying that OP isn't pushing her sister to take accountability, its not her job. Her role is to offer the support her sister needs to get her stuff together. She may not agree with her sisters actions but she still need support. My sister got pregnant at 18 and I had to step in to her take care of her baby when I was only 12, I didn't agree with her actions but as her family I stepped up to offer her support.
33:25 my go-to is "oh, they had a conflict." What exactly that conflict is doesn't matter. I've used it before where the conflict was: -I don't want to be there -my period is actively trying to kill me -my sister's dog had a stroke and I'm sitting with her beloved dog for the day - I hate someone there so hard I refuse to be around them -I don't fucking want to. At all.
uh...the story with the brother and the drugs. Doesn't matter what the drugs were, the OP was concerned bout losing custody of his kid. I wouldn't have even given him a second chance. Just out the first time I saw any drugs, no matter what they were.
Story 2: the op is in Australia called McDonald's, maccas. What we aussies call it. Weed is illegal in most states still. Act does allow it for personal use not for sale
First story … why would op cut off her sister ??? maybe her sister didn’t have a good relationship and that’s why she cheated .. we need to give the sister the benefit as well as the mother …. OP could possibly be supporting her sister due to circumstances.. we don’t know if the husband was mistreating her … not saying it makes it okay but people step out of relationships for many reasons..
His mom was picked up by a 40-50 year old man at barely 18. Holding her accountable for cheating on her creepy, child bride wanting husband isn't the same as the sister who willingly got married and is now acting like a victim because of the consequences of her action. Bad take, a child bride vs a grown woman who made the decision to marry him in a free country
Yes and no. She grew up with her sister, he grew up with his mother. Both have familial links to the person, but him being only supported by his mom growing up explains why he’s blindsided
Last story: I think draw a clear hard boundary right now, that mom needs to respect OP’s girlfriend and that this is their shared home/life/etc or she we not be part of it now or anytime moving forward. Then see what she does - if she tries to push back, cancel the flight immediately. Also, we have Common Law marriage in Colorado too. Literally all you have to do is be in a relationship and say you are married in public at least once lol 😂
First story: I don't think OP did anything wrong. OP's husband is a freaking hypocrite. He has a relationship with his mother, a woman who cheated on his father his entire life. She may have been a good mom in her husband's warped opinion, but she was an absolutely terrible wife. Why can't he see that the same may be true of his sister-in-law? As far as we know, the OP's sister had ONE affair. It's very strange that the OP's husband seems to give his mother a pass for multiple affairs while he treats his SIL's one indiscretion as an unforgivable sin. And while I think having an affair isn't a way to deal with problems in a marriage, we have no idea what OP's sister's marriage was like. I also think that OP's BIL shouldn't be saying terrible things about his wife to their kids. The problems they are having doesn't make her a bad mom.
I don't think the OP from the first story is an asshole. I wouldnt ditch my sister. Cheating is wrong but there are so many factors. I love my sister and I will always be there for her.
Story 1: you said, the mother saw her husband as a “meal ticket”. Sure, she was 18 and didn’t have much opurtunities otherwise. But I don’t think this almost 50 years old man saw this barely legal girl as “his true love”. Sounds like this was a marriage of conveniece for both of them and thus I am not sure whether the same “judgement” of marital “norms” applies. That being said, I condemn dishonesty and cheating. BUT I also acknowledge that the world is not black and white, that people and their “morality” are not black and white. People should be allowed to make mistakes and be flawed and still deserve the love and support of their family members. The sister cheated on her husband. And now she is paying the price for it (hence her needing help). I don’t think she is “not being held accountable”. She is definatly suffering the consequences of breaking the trust between her and her husband. However, she did not break the trust of her sister. So why shouldn’t she be there for her?
The mom saying that she wasn't trafficd means nothing. This could have been an arranged marriage that her parents set up and never told her. The kind where the family needs money so they sell a daughter.
As other commenters have mentioned, OP in the second story is Australian, and weed is still illegal in most states here. Listening further on, though, it sounds like he was on something more serious. I haven't been around many people smoking weed but I always had the impression that it made you feel chill and laid back. And now a bit about the editing. Riley, I love you as a co-host and you're doing an amazing job of editing, but maybe you should have used a Chinese flag or map instead of the racist stereotype. On the other hand, I absolutely loved the underwater theme when John's mic failed.
You’re the red flag on this one… why question OP holding her sister accountable, but not hubby with mom? Why question if MIL may have had reasons, but not if sister might have?
The story about the brother Finn. He worked at "Maccas" this is Aussie slang for McDonald's. So this means weed is not legal here, so if he even had weed in the house for use or selling it. It would be a crime. So this explains why the older brother was worried about having it in his home. Any criminal activity in his home would could cause issues with custody of his kid.
3:35 John NO!!! Where is Sophia?! Reading comprehension skills brooo The ONLY reason OP threw in his face about his mom cheating on his dad and he never cut her off, is because he’s actively trying to have her cut off her SISTER, and depending on the family dynamics that’s probably the closest person to her in the world besides her husband, HE HAS NO FUCKIN RIGHT TO ASK HER THAT Maybe I could see it if she was being around her sister while cheating or knew and didn’t say anything. But it seems like she only knew about her sister cheating when everything came out.. not that she was lowkey helping… So no unless she added some insults into the conversation about his mom, she’s perfectly in the right and doesn’t matter how she said it 🤷🏻♀️ he’s a fuckin hypocrite so far. I swear there’s some points yall are hitting major points.. but then there’s times like this and I just question if yall really remember past feelings and things said 🤣🤦🏻♀️
Bro. TILL THE DAY HE DIED??? PENELOPE, WHY ???? Husbo is deffo not self aware. Gotta run from those that are not self aware Edit: I'm really glad husbo n wify were able to communicate and work things through. 💛 Family does make things harder lol
I think the story with the brother who has a drug issue, is from Australia. The brother Fin, works part-time at Macca’s. Macca’s is what Australian call MacDonald’s. From what can remember, weed isn’t legal down under, and therefore, weed is seen as an illegal substance and therefore, if the married bro was ‘caught’ with weed in his home he would of for sure lose any visitation rights to his daughter.
Story 1: She's TA. It's a low blow when she knows how much the husband was a victim of being groomed by his mother and is still working through therapy with regards to it. From how OP said, he's still traumatized from childhood and can't disassociate from it even now. She sounds like a ride or die for her sister, and blame the sister's husband for not being supportive of her sister's well being... when he was the guy who was wronged in the first place. What she NTA for is that she's trying to stop the sister from going through the deep end. I also think that OP's husband was triggered by the event if the first thought is to support the nieces/nephews.
Because *his* mom was abusive with *her* cheating. For decades. As far as we know, OP's sister cheated. Nothing else. If he can accept his mom, he has zero right to tell OP a damn thing.
“Great mom” “Good mom” *proceeds to involve her child into her affairs being loud to the point he’d hear her and makes a child keep an adult’s secret traumatizing him* wow John and Riley great take anything else 🎤🗑🗑?
Cheaters deserve zero sympathy or mercy, period. And while it seems the husband was hypocritical, he is seeing a psychiatrist to try deal with his issues regarding his mother (even thought it's not going that well) and is just hating cheating with a passion (while realizing the huge red flag above his wife's head).
1st story. There is a difference between her husband's mother cheating and her sister cheating. The husband, tho he was growing up with that, his parents didn't divorce and the dad didn't even know she cheated. But the sister put her kids through divorce because of her cheating and of course also hurt her husband.
I wonder if he is not OK with OP’s sister cheating because she got caught so she ruined her home with cheating but since his mom was a good mom to him and never got caught so his mom never ruined his family like OP’s sister did 9:32
Story number one, I think the point that OP was getting at is her husband can’t expect her to cut her sister out of her life when he would never cut his mother out of his life for the same thing. I don’t think OP was expecting him to cut his mother out of his life. She was just pointing out that his logic is unreasonable. You don’t cut somebody out of your life just because they’re not making the choices that you think they should be making.
In the first story, everyone is TA. The lady using something told to her in confidence against him in an argument. The lad using rose colored glasses for his mother.
Lol if you work while sueing for personal injury then you get little to no money because the argument is of you can work then you're not really injured and haven't suffered any loss to be compensated for
OP is not the a hole. Just becuse the sister is a cheater doesnt mean the children should suffer and not see their mom. So maybe he needed to hear this.
5:19 i wanna say the dad actually knew but the arm candy of a young wife and having a child with her led him to turn a blind eye. When my grandmother died we found out not only had my gpa been having an affair and was more or less married in another state. We were all so mad for my grandmother until the tapes. Turns out she knew. She met the lady and gave permission. She k ew my gpa was still able to be sexually active and she couldn't and so long as he continued supporting her as he had always done and kept money in her bank acct she didnt care. It was a wild few months.
Story 2: we're both military and any weed is too much in our home, vehicles, etc. But beyond that, it's the terms & conditions for continuing to live in that home and he broke them. 🤷🏼♀️
Drugs in general hard or not are bad for kids that’s just facts. Yes weed is an okay recreational drug but only for people whose brains have already developed and for use in moderation. Anyway hard drug or not the brother was an AH for even thinking of bringing drugs around kids, WTF is wrong with him? If he wants to do drugs bro should have gotten his own place from the beginning!
OP wasn’t harsh enough. That’s pure hypocrisy if Liam doesn’t wasn’t to associate with OP’s sister that’s one thing but insisting she cut her off is way the fuck over the line
sorry but the first story is NTA. The only thing that OP could have done differently in the situation is how she worded it. He was being a massive hypocrite; Husband wants OP to cut off contact WITH HER SISTER whom she has made no excuses for, while he used to regularly lie about where his mom was when she was out cheating on his dad. OP was 100% in the right here, although she could have said it in a lot better way.
First story Nta Could have been done a lill less blunt But the point stays ;not cutting mom out but “demanding” to cut Sil out for far less mess is just hypocritical And fair enough for pointing it out 🤷♀️
I understand hating cheaters, but you cannot expect your spouse to cut off family members who are cheaters. I feel for him, but it’s unreasonable to demand that.
The first story sounds more like OP is calling out her husband for hypocrisy. Because of he is saying not to help the cheater sister, while he is helping his cheater mother.
The way OP called him out is AH, but calling out in general is NTA, could have explained it better and not go instantly for the nuke red button.
That's what I was getting from it. OP's MIL was a chronic cheater and her husband didn't cut her off. Why should OP cut off her sister for doing the same thing?
First story OP is NTA. Just because her sister was unfaithful in her marriage is no reason to cut her off as family and it's illogical for the OPs husband to ask her to do so. Unless the sister's husband is the OP's husband's family or friend, it shouldn't affect him in any way.
IDK I blocked my friend of 20 years because he cheated on his gf. I rebuke the devil.
Thats cool, can choose friends, not family @@ThimbleFox350
@@ThimbleFox350 this is so true. However if he is treated her family that way he should expect her to treat his mom the same.
I think only people who haven't been in relationships think this. It sets a president that you don't care about upholding your values and keeping people who don't, out of your life. I don't think you'd feel confident in your SO if all their friends and family were cheaters who they support
@@ThimbleFox350this is normal, commentor is a kid or never been in a relationship 😊
For the second story, the poster mentioned his brother working at "macca's". That's Australian slang for McDonalds. Weed is actually illegal in Australia, so I can understand why he had kicked the brother out.
This!
Even in America, there are still a lot of states where it’s illegal. If there are custody negotiations in family court, a little bit of weed could mean OP losing their kid. If you live with someone, and their rules are about their kid and the child’s safety, just don’t bring it home, as easy as that.
One parent can always made things hard/ will use anything to help get custody, and drug tests/ home visits happen depending on the situation. Weed or not, it’s still not such a great look, even if it’s based on bias and not law
Thank you, I am from France and didn’t know what macca’s what
Thanks! I’m from Canada and weed is legal, but tbh, I don’t understand why it’s illegal elsewhere. I still respect that, but it’s on the same field as alcohol to me.
Mental health issues are not the same as drug use. They go together a lot, and can be confused as the other one. But there is a difference.
I get very concerned when Jon and Riley get confused by wording and then sound board off each other. I feel like y'all clearly forgot the original point was that OP was asked to cut off her sister for cheating when her husband did not hold those standards to himself in regards to his mother's own infidelity.
The problem isn't about holding the sister or mother accountable for their errors in their OWN marriages. The problem is between OP and her husband in regards to his hypocrisy.
For the story with drugs; tell me you live in a green state 🤣🤣 For the states that have not passed that privilege something as light as weed is regarded the same as meth when law get involved. Especially if you're in a southern state. Yes many places have decriminalized it but for those unfortunate others OP is valid in being concerned. If his brother got busted on OP's property the cops won't care that it was his brother's. He's leaving himself open to wrongfully have his child taken away.
Story 1, NTA. The husband was being more than a hypocrite, he was being abusive. He is expecting his wife to turn her back on a sibling she loves just because he is not comfortable but it’s litereally not any different than what he did for his mom. Except in op’s case she isnt keeping the secret or making excuses for the cheater like the husband did for his mom. In essence op is being a more classy person in the situation than op’s husband was in his situation.
I dont believe op should have ANY accountability for the sister,.. it’s not op’s place to hold her sister accountable, her only job is to be a sister. Because ultimately the sister has to pull her junk together and get sorted so she can continue on being a mother to the niece and nephew. People who do wrong things still deserve support from their loved ones whether we the outsiders agree or not.
Op’s husband was in the wrong. He can not like the cheater sister in law but he has no business trying to end a sibling relationship that doesnt affect him personally. The SIL was not trying to get op to also become a cheater, so its not the husbands place to insert himself between them.
Seems to me OP was supportive of listening to hubby when he told her about his mom,.. and it shocked him to the core when op dropped the bomb of hypocrisy not only about the comparison between his mom and SIL, but the difference of how op was supportive of him loving his mom but hubby is now not supportive of op loving her sister in this situation, and thats what wigged him out. Because in his world his mom is allowed the hall pass from the world but the world better be moral and righteous. Sorry husband of op, life ain’t like that.
Huge applause for Reilly's first tinfoil hat moment.... hopefully their will be many more 🎉
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who loves the tin foil hat moments!
What?? Isn't it TOO harsh of the husband to demand OP stops having a relartionship with her sister?? Op was just pointing out her husbands brazen hypocrisy. Even moreso when OP explains all of the positive impact his own cheating mother had on him! For him to support her niblings not having that same opportunity with their mother, is so effed! People are complex, her sister is not ALL bad, and a horrible mom in every way, just because she cheated. OP's husband is right in saying the kids need the support. The kids need support because they have been put in a no win situation by both parents, and are now being weaponized to hurt mom, which only hurts THEM, in SO many ways. They need support in continuing a relationship with their mom, and not being made to feel guilty if they still want her in their lives. They NEED their mom, and dad. Dad needs to get help asap, so he can stop continuing the pain that mom started here.
Story 1: OP is not wrong. Period. She point out the fact that her husband has double standard and he needs that reality slap
My parents are Chinese and my mom was forced to marry my dad in an arranged marriage because my dad also had American citizenship. My mom’s family wanted to emigrate. My mom was 22 and my dad was 30. My mom said that she cried often about the man she was in love with and in a relationship with before she was forced to marry my dad. Marriage lasted maybe 3 years and when I was 6 months old, my mom took a stand and divorced my dad. She didn’t cheat, she just couldn’t be in a marriage she had no say in and be controlled by a man she didn’t love. What I’m trying to say is that I understand what OP’s husband’s mom did but it was common for the time. Doesn’t make it right though.
Just because someone cheated does not mean that you cut them off, and support their children being alienated from them. That’s what you do to people who won’t take accountability for their cheating, and the fall out that follows. You cut off the people who refuse to change. Holding someone accountable and cutting them off are two different things.
Tin hat: I think the husband is projecting. He would have cut off his mom if it wasn’t his mom. He had no choice in that. He thinks he has a choice in whether or not he can cut off his SIL, and is disregarding that his wife would feel differently… because that’s her sister.
Story 2: if he was in a custody fight or was always at risk of one with the mother, idc what dr*gs it was, Brother is out. Kids over brother, all the way, like Riley said it's hard to get custody back after that.
Story 1: nta. Dont shame the op john.
The husband is a hypocrite. If he doesnt want anything to do with cheaters. But keeps a relationship with his mother.
Shame on john for throwing op under the bus.
They have really been missing the morally obviously points lately..
That's what I have been thinking. The husband's hypocrisy is the biggest red flag. He wants her to cut out a close and important family member. That isolation manipulation from the husband is the biggest red flag .
Exactly and calling OP a "bad wife" for wanting to support her sister, like what?🤦
Thank goodness I am not the only one who thinks that they have been only looking at these things where the op is always wrong no matter what
Plus it’s not like the cheating Mom only cheated for a little bit when she was 18 years old the lady cheated HER ENTIRE MARRIAGE! The whole time.
OP husband is the one carrying the little red flag. If husband mom gets to be a good mother regardless of the cheating, then the sister should be allowed to be a mother eventhough she cheated. It is NOT OP's responsability to judge her sister because at the end of the day, the sister is living the result of her own actions. The only way I would find OP a red flag is if she was covering her or knew she was cheating before brother in law found out. Otherwise, not the time. OP should not have to validate to her husband how what her sister did is wrong.
as someone who has witnessed a custody battle upclose.. second OP should've kicked him out immediately. giving him a second chance was more than he deserved. something like that, especially in a country where even the soft stuff is illegal, will ruin your custody agreement. you will be deemed unfit to parent and a danger to your kid, you'll be lucky if you even get superivised visits. custody laws/battles are no joke..
7:34 Honestly, there’s a huge chance that he’s cheating on OP he’s been raised since he was a kid that cheating is okay as long as you don’t like your partner…
YOU ARE WRONG. In story no.1 You read in the very beginning that she said, my sister was wrong. Also, she stated the husband has big mental abuse issues with Mother. Sorry, OP is not in the wrong. Family is family. His Mom her Sister is family. To state his mother is more important is WRONG.
34:45 i don’t know why but riley’s finger /visual representations of the relationships were so darn cute 😂🥺
Story #1…how is pointing out the husband’s hypocrisy being an AH? She is absolutely right and is not the AH. Supporting her sister is not the same as condoning infidelity.
Omg i busted out laughing when you pronounced "Ragrarok" as "Ragnort" 💀
It is not her place to "hold her sister accountable" also saying the mom sounds like a great person because she said 1 sentence after their wedding is a little extreme. What OP said was fair. He is being hypocritical.
Wow this was an amazing ride, I really like the last chapter with Jon and Riley but I miss Sam, hope to see him soon. Great job guys! Have an amazing new year op family.
Thanks!
Story 1: It was a low blow for her husband to try and tell OP what she should do with her family. Especially when his verdict made him a giant hypocrite. NTA at all.
And idk, making hypothetical excuses for the mom’s cheating, when there might be excuses for the sister’s cheating as well for all we know, is a bit funky.
The first story I understand both sides of it I'm willing to bet it has nothing to do with her sister cheating on a personal level but the husband being concerned she might influence his wife to do the same
I can see it that way, good ole communication would be great.
By that logic the husband is at risk of cheating because he maintains contact with his mom.
Story 1: i get his point. He can't call out his mom, but op can sure as hell give her sister hell for ruining her marriage
Sounds like hypocrisy🥴
Looks like and walks like hypocrisy too!
@laleona1221 how is it hypocrisy??? I just was saying I can see it being more difficult calling your mom out than your sister. I never said that op was in the wrong, just saying a point that I see everyday. I would rather yell at my sister for cheating than my mom
The reason why he did not continue working after he went for the money is because if he had then they would have said the accident wasn't that serious. He wasn't in all that amount of pain and they probably would have reduced his reward so his attorney probably told him to stay home.
First story OP said she was half Vietnamese so she understood the filial piety aspect, and she may have admitted that the same applied to her and her sister
Edit: and OP’s MIL apparently bragged about how many suitors she had in Vietnam and about how OP’s FIL was the richest and kindest
3:57 she only mentioned what his Mom did because he told her that she shouldn’t see her sister.
He probably does feel some type of way about his Moms cheating but I honestly don’t feel like he can be that hateful towards cheaters because he is still in regular contact with his own Mom who like I said I’m sure did some damage but it couldn’t have been that much if he still talks to her all the time. I see what yall are saying BUT I also see what OP is saying too. If husband can regularly spend time with and talk to his long time cheating Mom than OP should be able to do the same with her undisclosed amount of time cheating sister.
Story 1: NTA husbands a hypocrite Story 2: NTA I’d flat out tell my family they are at home. I’m not lying or going into why they aren’t attending.
The girlfriend in the first story did not throw a a blow by calling the mom a cheater she threw a knocked out 💪⚱️😭🤣😳💀
OP 1 is NTA. Of ALL people, her husband should realize that someone doesn't stop being a beloved family member just because they did something stupid and wrong. I also dont get where you seeing her not holding her sister accountable. She hardly talks about her sister's situation. For all we know she's holding her sister accountable in every conversation they have. Or maybe she's not. We don't know. It is entirely possible to hold someone accountable and still be compassionate and loving towards them.
You seem to be failing to understand anything, doesn't matter if she's a great mother or not she cheated repeatedly and in front of her child like it was a nudist purity contest gone wild
OP's sister cheated and is getting blasted by her husband because who would ever like a cheater- And his mother is an even worse kind of cheater cause she involved children
He's acting like OP's sister cheated on him and that's the problem
She's also never wanted a son and blamed the dad for that and used that as another excuse for cheating
If he doesn't want comments about his own unfaithful mother than he shouldn't throw stones in a glass house, It's not even glass cause what his mother did was WORSE!
You're comparing a child bridge who was impregnated at 18 by a 50 year old man, to a grown woman who was married to someone her own age, who she chose to marry, etc.
OP's MIL was wrong for cheating, but her cheating came from the fact that she couldn't leave without risking losing her child, visa, home, income, schooling, etc. She cheated on a pedophile who picked her because she was barely legal, and old enough to take to the states. She was separated from her family and probably felt she was forced to stay in America for better income and opportunities for her child.
OP's sister can get divorced. OP's sister is acting like the victim when she was the one who broke up the family. OP is trying to justify something currently happening by comparing it to something that happened before she was even around her husband
Riley is so cute, on god. Love his earnest happiness
At the beginning of the story op stated that the father never knew that his wife ever cheated. He thought she was loyal.
I don't think we have a right to judge OP'S MIL.
But OP's husband don't got no right judging her.
It's mean spirited but it's relevant and hypocritical of him once he realized it was wrong he still didn't cut his mom off like he's demanding of his wife and her sister
Thanks for the video
Story 1: NTA, the husband was being extremely hypocritical. Y'all are in the wrong for blaming OP in any way about this
Story 2: It doesn't matter how "hard" the drug is or the amount, if it's found in the house OP could lose custody of his kid. John please stop immediately taking the obviously bad person's side, OP didn't overreact, if anything he was too lenient in not kicking him out he first time.
Lol! Drugs around the house with kids in it is dangerous as f*ck, even if it's a gram or less... They ingest everything they put their hands on. You're right, OP could've went way harder!!! Reminds me of the story of the dog getting out of a room and eating drugs and suffering. And they still were somehow hesitant on siding with the dog's owner...
First story OP NTA, the husband is being a hypocrite if he thinks its okay to push his discomfort onto OP's relationship with her sister. And I don't understand what you guys mean by saying that OP isn't pushing her sister to take accountability, its not her job. Her role is to offer the support her sister needs to get her stuff together. She may not agree with her sisters actions but she still need support.
My sister got pregnant at 18 and I had to step in to her take care of her baby when I was only 12, I didn't agree with her actions but as her family I stepped up to offer her support.
33:25 my go-to is "oh, they had a conflict." What exactly that conflict is doesn't matter. I've used it before where the conflict was:
-I don't want to be there
-my period is actively trying to kill me
-my sister's dog had a stroke and I'm sitting with her beloved dog for the day
- I hate someone there so hard I refuse to be around them
-I don't fucking want to. At all.
uh...the story with the brother and the drugs. Doesn't matter what the drugs were, the OP was concerned bout losing custody of his kid. I wouldn't have even given him a second chance. Just out the first time I saw any drugs, no matter what they were.
41:11 John, if a tomato can be a fruit, I’ll let you have a peach as a vegetable
20:53 op is 100 in the right to throw someone out even for weed they HAVE CUSTODY of hus kids and wants to keep it
Story 2: the op is in Australia called McDonald's, maccas. What we aussies call it. Weed is illegal in most states still. Act does allow it for personal use not for sale
The unintentional seductive hand slide John does down his chest at 15:14 😂😂😂
OMG I CANNOT - 😂
First story … why would op cut off her sister ??? maybe her sister didn’t have a good relationship and that’s why she cheated .. we need to give the sister the benefit as well as the mother …. OP could possibly be supporting her sister due to circumstances.. we don’t know if the husband was mistreating her … not saying it makes it okay but people step out of relationships for many reasons..
Story no.2 CHILD CUSTODY CASES DO NOT ALLOW DRUGS. EVEN WEED. LOOSING YOUR KIDS OVER SOMEONE'S WEED? NO. NO. NO.
First story is nta. Her husband is such a hypocrite.
His mom was picked up by a 40-50 year old man at barely 18. Holding her accountable for cheating on her creepy, child bride wanting husband isn't the same as the sister who willingly got married and is now acting like a victim because of the consequences of her action. Bad take, a child bride vs a grown woman who made the decision to marry him in a free country
Yes and no. She grew up with her sister, he grew up with his mother. Both have familial links to the person, but him being only supported by his mom growing up explains why he’s blindsided
Last story: I think draw a clear hard boundary right now, that mom needs to respect OP’s girlfriend and that this is their shared home/life/etc or she we not be part of it now or anytime moving forward. Then see what she does - if she tries to push back, cancel the flight immediately.
Also, we have Common Law marriage in Colorado too. Literally all you have to do is be in a relationship and say you are married in public at least once lol 😂
First story: I don't think OP did anything wrong. OP's husband is a freaking hypocrite. He has a relationship with his mother, a woman who cheated on his father his entire life. She may have been a good mom in her husband's warped opinion, but she was an absolutely terrible wife.
Why can't he see that the same may be true of his sister-in-law? As far as we know, the OP's sister had ONE affair. It's very strange that the OP's husband seems to give his mother a pass for multiple affairs while he treats his SIL's one indiscretion as an unforgivable sin. And while I think having an affair isn't a way to deal with problems in a marriage, we have no idea what OP's sister's marriage was like. I also think that OP's BIL shouldn't be saying terrible things about his wife to their kids. The problems they are having doesn't make her a bad mom.
2:08 WHY WHY WHY did you guys willingly choose to put a racist caricature for the word Chinese?? 😭😭😭
Was very much wondering the same thing
I don't think the OP from the first story is an asshole. I wouldnt ditch my sister. Cheating is wrong but there are so many factors. I love my sister and I will always be there for her.
You cannot work while you are filing and going through workers comp. If you do they will throw your whole case out!
Story 1: you said, the mother saw her husband as a “meal ticket”. Sure, she was 18 and didn’t have much opurtunities otherwise. But I don’t think this almost 50 years old man saw this barely legal girl as “his true love”. Sounds like this was a marriage of conveniece for both of them and thus I am not sure whether the same “judgement” of marital “norms” applies.
That being said, I condemn dishonesty and cheating. BUT I also acknowledge that the world is not black and white, that people and their “morality” are not black and white. People should be allowed to make mistakes and be flawed and still deserve the love and support of their family members.
The sister cheated on her husband. And now she is paying the price for it (hence her needing help). I don’t think she is “not being held accountable”. She is definatly suffering the consequences of breaking the trust between her and her husband. However, she did not break the trust of her sister. So why shouldn’t she be there for her?
The mom saying that she wasn't trafficd means nothing. This could have been an arranged marriage that her parents set up and never told her. The kind where the family needs money so they sell a daughter.
As other commenters have mentioned, OP in the second story is Australian, and weed is still illegal in most states here. Listening further on, though, it sounds like he was on something more serious. I haven't been around many people smoking weed but I always had the impression that it made you feel chill and laid back. And now a bit about the editing. Riley, I love you as a co-host and you're doing an amazing job of editing, but maybe you should have used a Chinese flag or map instead of the racist stereotype. On the other hand, I absolutely loved the underwater theme when John's mic failed.
You’re the red flag on this one… why question OP holding her sister accountable, but not hubby with mom? Why question if MIL may have had reasons, but not if sister might have?
The story about the brother Finn. He worked at "Maccas" this is Aussie slang for McDonald's. So this means weed is not legal here, so if he even had weed in the house for use or selling it. It would be a crime. So this explains why the older brother was worried about having it in his home. Any criminal activity in his home would could cause issues with custody of his kid.
love the tinfoil hats
It doesn’t matter what kind of drug it was. He expressed a no drug rule in his house and his brother broke it. No further info needed!
*LET’S GO TO RILEY’S HOUSE* OK field trip time!
3:35 John NO!!! Where is Sophia?! Reading comprehension skills brooo
The ONLY reason OP threw in his face about his mom cheating on his dad and he never cut her off, is because he’s actively trying to have her cut off her SISTER, and depending on the family dynamics that’s probably the closest person to her in the world besides her husband, HE HAS NO FUCKIN RIGHT TO ASK HER THAT
Maybe I could see it if she was being around her sister while cheating or knew and didn’t say anything. But it seems like she only knew about her sister cheating when everything came out.. not that she was lowkey helping…
So no unless she added some insults into the conversation about his mom, she’s perfectly in the right and doesn’t matter how she said it 🤷🏻♀️ he’s a fuckin hypocrite so far.
I swear there’s some points yall are hitting major points.. but then there’s times like this and I just question if yall really remember past feelings and things said 🤣🤦🏻♀️
Bro. TILL THE DAY HE DIED??? PENELOPE, WHY ????
Husbo is deffo not self aware. Gotta run from those that are not self aware
Edit: I'm really glad husbo n wify were able to communicate and work things through. 💛
Family does make things harder lol
I think the story with the brother who has a drug issue, is from Australia. The brother Fin, works part-time at Macca’s. Macca’s is what Australian call MacDonald’s. From what can remember, weed isn’t legal down under, and therefore, weed is seen as an illegal substance and therefore, if the married bro was ‘caught’ with weed in his home he would of for sure lose any visitation rights to his daughter.
I heard a baby crying when the audio messed up.
I live in Asheville, NC. I can totally see John being an Ashevillian.
Where are Sam n Sophia?
They're off getting matching haircuts so they're finally completely indistinguishable from each other
@@triciad4100 don't say that, cause you'd be implying that my crush looks like a lil girl lol
Story #2 OP mentioned "maccas" which is slang for McDonald's in Australia 🇦🇺. -->so mindset all of the story there
Story 1: She's TA. It's a low blow when she knows how much the husband was a victim of being groomed by his mother and is still working through therapy with regards to it. From how OP said, he's still traumatized from childhood and can't disassociate from it even now.
She sounds like a ride or die for her sister, and blame the sister's husband for not being supportive of her sister's well being... when he was the guy who was wronged in the first place.
What she NTA for is that she's trying to stop the sister from going through the deep end. I also think that OP's husband was triggered by the event if the first thought is to support the nieces/nephews.
Because *his* mom was abusive with *her* cheating. For decades. As far as we know, OP's sister cheated. Nothing else. If he can accept his mom, he has zero right to tell OP a damn thing.
“Great mom” “Good mom” *proceeds to involve her child into her affairs being loud to the point he’d hear her and makes a child keep an adult’s secret traumatizing him* wow John and Riley great take anything else 🎤🗑🗑?
Cheaters deserve zero sympathy or mercy, period. And while it seems the husband was hypocritical, he is seeing a psychiatrist to try deal with his issues regarding his mother (even thought it's not going that well) and is just hating cheating with a passion (while realizing the huge red flag above his wife's head).
1st story. There is a difference between her husband's mother cheating and her sister cheating. The husband, tho he was growing up with that, his parents didn't divorce and the dad didn't even know she cheated. But the sister put her kids through divorce because of her cheating and of course also hurt her husband.
First story. How many times did you guys say “yeah!” Lol
I wonder if he is not OK with OP’s sister cheating because she got caught so she ruined her home with cheating but since his mom was a good mom to him and never got caught so his mom never ruined his family like OP’s sister did 9:32
Story two: best excuse is everyone is sick.
I was 11/12 when i first read this i was obsessed but also didnt realized the age gap was that large
Hey Riley! Hope we didn’t interrupt your lunch!😂
He was probably scared his wife would be influenced by her sister 17:59
37:30 let Riley meet and marry your Russian speaking cousin!! Okop would be an official family on purpose 😊❤😂
Story number one, I think the point that OP was getting at is her husband can’t expect her to cut her sister out of her life when he would never cut his mother out of his life for the same thing. I don’t think OP was expecting him to cut his mother out of his life. She was just pointing out that his logic is unreasonable. You don’t cut somebody out of your life just because they’re not making the choices that you think they should be making.
In the first story, everyone is TA. The lady using something told to her in confidence against him in an argument. The lad using rose colored glasses for his mother.
I miss saam
Lol if you work while sueing for personal injury then you get little to no money because the argument is of you can work then you're not really injured and haven't suffered any loss to be compensated for
OP is not the a hole. Just becuse the sister is a cheater doesnt mean the children should suffer and not see their mom. So maybe he needed to hear this.
5:19 i wanna say the dad actually knew but the arm candy of a young wife and having a child with her led him to turn a blind eye.
When my grandmother died we found out not only had my gpa been having an affair and was more or less married in another state. We were all so mad for my grandmother until the tapes. Turns out she knew. She met the lady and gave permission. She k ew my gpa was still able to be sexually active and she couldn't and so long as he continued supporting her as he had always done and kept money in her bank acct she didnt care.
It was a wild few months.
Story 2: OP sounds like they are from Australia. Even weed is illegal here besties
Story 2: we're both military and any weed is too much in our home, vehicles, etc. But beyond that, it's the terms & conditions for continuing to live in that home and he broke them. 🤷🏼♀️
Drugs in general hard or not are bad for kids that’s just facts. Yes weed is an okay recreational drug but only for people whose brains have already developed and for use in moderation.
Anyway hard drug or not the brother was an AH for even thinking of bringing drugs around kids, WTF is wrong with him? If he wants to do drugs bro should have gotten his own place from the beginning!
OP wasn’t harsh enough. That’s pure hypocrisy if Liam doesn’t wasn’t to associate with OP’s sister that’s one thing but insisting she cut her off is way the fuck over the line
sorry but the first story is NTA. The only thing that OP could have done differently in the situation is how she worded it. He was being a massive hypocrite; Husband wants OP to cut off contact WITH HER SISTER whom she has made no excuses for, while he used to regularly lie about where his mom was when she was out cheating on his dad. OP was 100% in the right here, although she could have said it in a lot better way.
Just because the truth hurts, doesn't make op the ahole.
First story
Nta
Could have been done a lill less blunt
But the point stays ;not cutting mom out but “demanding” to cut Sil out for far less mess is just hypocritical
And fair enough for pointing it out 🤷♀️
41:10 peaches are fruit lol
I think it’s supposed to be “bludgeoned budgie” like the bird .
Could be wrong tho
Nah the person in the first story was NTA, she had every right to call him out and bring it up.
Your take on it was dumb af...
So the custody sounds like cps or the court is involved drugs st the house, no matter what kind, could cost the dad his rights to see their kids.
Jesus and Big Protein back at it again with the back at it again🙌🏾🙌🏾🔥
I understand hating cheaters, but you cannot expect your spouse to cut off family members who are cheaters. I feel for him, but it’s unreasonable to demand that.
Where is Sam? I miss him!😢