BROOO THATS NOT WHAT IM SAYING haha - basically I’m saying that for every 4 years of a relationship people tend to stay together past cheating because the relationship has more momentum behind it. Cheating is never a good thing but sometimes with longer relationships people will look past it. -Sam
@@OKOPShowTotally get what you are saying Sam. I think people just don't want to break up after such a long time. Like they think they have been in the relationship so long that if they broke up all that time would have been wasted. Which no because you are just "wasting" more years by staying together. More infidelity is probably going to happen. Better to break up the first time, no matter how long you've been together.
@@OKOPShow it’s ok Sam we still love you bud!! When you explain it that makes more sense. I must have missed the original explanation of your cheating scale lol. Which is fine my ass misunderstands things all the time. Y’all are awesome. Ps on one of the last episodes you shared your job interview video thing (sorry I can’t think of the label of what the video was for) but it was to get hired for some company and it was a super cool idea.
Yes! I love how the pie hole jokes and vulgarity has decreased. I mean a that’s what she said or title of your sex tape is funny now and then but some of the earlier episodes were cringe.
First story: Can't believe the girls who, by OPs description, are lovely people are now perceived as less valuable for not marrying a potential cheater and a literal drug dealer and, being the ripe "old age" of 25. The way some cultures treat women is just so disheartening
It's not culture it's oppression and misogyny hidden behind the word culture. It needs to change the woman don't deserve to be looked down upon because of a loser ex partner.
Even though the guy had “permission” to sleep with other people, if he was so desperate to have her back and missed her sooo much he shouldn’t have even WANTED to sleep with someone else. He also said he regretted it yet did it twice 🙄
Well, he might've felt lonely and desperate in that moment, not knowing if she was ever going to be with him again. Remember he didn't know she missed him too and she felt so ready to get back with him before they talked it out and got back together. It's still stupid that he did it... He really can't go back on that.
@@iulia.bianca.b: But I can’t understand why being desperate and lonely should lead you to the bed of another woman. What’s wrong with just seeking company and some sort of support? And why should that automatically mean that company or support would be a woman? Have these people got no brains?
if you’re separating with the goal of fixing your marriage WHY would you sleep with other people?? it was dumb for her to give him the okay but it was dumb for him to think that sleeping with a coworker would help him at all.
It often helps men cause they often realise how much they were thinking of their SO at the time … And I’ve heard so many men and women say that - when they actually hooked up with someone else they felt empty and realised it isn’t want they wanted Sometimes it helps cause we build up the fantasy in our heads - and then that fantasy doesn’t meet up to it Or he likes it more than he likes her … and as the other person why would you want to be an option .. if they leave you for someone else cause or sec with them .. then they were never yours to begin with .. it was just your turn It can and does help some people - and it doesn’t help others That’s the point … sometimes fixing the marriage is realising it was never right to begin with But I agree that sex with someone in his life if messy as ! Go to bar and have one night stand or pay a sex worker But anyway not everyone is built the same so it’s dumb for you to assume that
Anyone who is even thinking about cheating on their pregnant partner needs to research the consequences of transferring STI's to an unborn child. It's absolutely horrific. Never risk it.
I agree with Riley about OP in the second story being hypocritical. Dude was having nightmares about his wife sleeping with other people, but didn't stop to think about how him doing the same might affect his wife 😬👀👀
I agree with Riley on the story about the husband cheating during his separation. I think the wife didn't want to make a decision for him, so she mentions that she's not cheating HOPING he would also not cheat. Meanwhile, this man is terrified of his wife cheating yet he doesn't empathize with how potentially hurt she will be and cheated... just because he can. That would be incredibly hurtful to her, because she made an effort in staying faithful even when she had a free pass to cheat but he did not. It shows that he was selfish all the time (terrified SHE would cheat but ok with him doing it to her). I think the key here is that she was not angry, she was disappointed and that's much more difficult to move on from.
I know they didn't go into specifics for story 2, but I feel like the dude was obviously entertaining the idea of messing around with the coworker (which will ALWAYS find a way to get in the way of the "main"/primary/spousal relationship, even if unintentionally), he crawled back to his wife because he realized the grass wasn't as green as he thought was over there... I truly feel for his wife and hope she'll find someone that can love and appreciate her instead of take her for granted.
In most cultures that have strict rules like that, you can have friends of the opposite sex but you don't hang out with them one on one. Group hangouts or talking on the phone is okay, but taking them on a solo outing at a fancy restaurant is absolutely not. In those cultures, it is seen as wildly inappropriate, especially if you are in a relationship.
Which is why op’s family was very sure the fiancé was on a cheaters date and not something innocent. There were no other people as chaperone. Combined with him going oh no and running with the woman out the restaurant once he saw them looking at him proves he knows it wasn’t innocent by any standards in his culture. Those girls were lucky to have op’s family standing up for them and not just gossiping behind their backs at the wedding or after. They got told before and make a better choice as a result and yet they get labeled as the bad guys because they didn’t just do as others and keep their mouths shut until the wedding was over like everyone else would do in their culture. No good deed goes unpunished. Sadness. The girls should have still talked to op’s family. They weren’t the cheater or drug dealing ex fiancé’s but it seems their culture blames women not men, so maybe the girls are getting verbally abused for not being married even if it was to a drug dealer or a cheater. They might be getting bombarded with gross talk of, “you could have been supportive and guided him away from such things” as if a man would listen to his wife in a culture that doesn’t treat women well.
@@carolday3381: What I don’t get is why, in the first instance, they were the villains and causing drama for letting Kimberly know in front of her parents (quite rightly, frankly). But we’re also the villains when they didn’t say anything! Madness! These people need to get their priorities right.
Thank you Riley to speak the truth. The problem is how can you believe a person who says "i can't live without you" and sleeps with someone else. Loving is not just words. Love from France 🇫🇷❤ You helped me so much during my pregnancy it was such a fun entertainment 🎉
Big protein's description of 2nd story's OP's wife (geeze that's a fingerful to type) being a caterpillar wanting to be held resonated with me on a molecular level. I love you guys.
I agree with Riley! if in fact you are "deathly in love with me and can't breath when I'm not around and couldn't even imagine being with someone else" then why go sleep with someone else knowing I'm waiting for you to get your act together.
She didn't say "it's OK with me if you sleep with someone else", she said "I don't have the right to tell you what to do if we're separated". Those are very different things.
@@EsoteriaHealing Ruben is from Lilo and Stitch. He's an experiment. They put his picture on the screen and John didn't know who he was so I had to tease him.
My opposite gender bff and I are obsessed with food, it's like one of the cornerstones of our friendship. We've eaten at all types of restaurants, but ALWAYS invite our partners (even though they don't always join) because the more the merrier and our partners also love food 😸
The story of the husband and wife agreeing.... is tough. Im Demisexual, I need an emotional connection before sex... Horrible thing is... our love and attraction to our partners are tied to how we see you. If you hurt us... we can turn the love off as easy as flipping a switch. If we feel as if we no longer have a connection, as if we don't know you... then there is no love. Blindsiding a demisexual is the worst thing you can do... not lying.. just blindsiding.. if they know you as a liar... then its not blind siding. Its when we look at you as if we do not know you that its a problem... I was cheated on and that person had to work so hard to win back my trust... and if they walked out the door at that time and gave up.... i would have let them leave and not even blink.
Riley, there is real love in the world outside of Reddit. Here is a happy story for you: My high school sweetheart, now husband, and I did a long distance relationship for two years. During that time, we wrote each other letters by hand every week. The letters were filled with support for each other and the path we were on to better ourselves separately but together. We are about to celebrate 17 years of dating (12 years of marriage). He is still my best friend. He has never broken my trust in all these years. He is my rock and he is still hot as hell. I plan on becoming a wrinkly old raisin with that man.
I don’t know what made her say it was ok to sleep around while they were separated but if you do it then you’re pretty much guaranteed to end the marriage. It’s going to be in her mind that if he loves her some much why would he want someone else during the separation. If it’s separation with the intent of getting back together then keep it in your pants. I’m going to have to listen to the story again because I am at a trampoline park with my kids and missed parts lol
To comment on Riley’s take: I’m whole heartedly against “testing” your partner. Either you trust them, or you don’t. If you feel like you need to do a test in order to check on the status of your relationship , the relationship is already over. And I think some people underestimate how powerful giving someone a pass is. If you tell someone that they can do something with zero repercussions, you’ve now put a planted a seed in their head that may not have been there beforehand. And had you not said anything, they wouldn’t have done it. It just seems underhanded to do something like that to someone that you’re supposed to care about.
I agree that it's not right to give someone permission to do something with the intention of punishing them if they do. However, if the only thing that's stopping you from sleeping around is permission, then you are not a good partner. After that many years of marriage, he should have valued his wife more than that. Even with her permission, he should have cared more about saving his marriage than sleeping around. It shows where his priorities were and his wife was nowhere near the top of the list.
@@Karamarika I don’t necessarily agree with that. We don’t know if he wouldn’t have slept with anyone else had she not given him the idea that he could do it without repercussions. That alone is enough for some people. It’s easy to say he just shouldn’t have done it. But that’s only the case because she turned out to not be fine with it at all.
@@Karamarika absolutely not. The only reason you aren’t sleeping around can be your in a relationship where that isn’t allowed in, and that is completely fine because your following your partners boundaries. Sleeping with other people means nothing about how you feel about other people. Sex for many people is just for fun with people they don’t love and completely different from their partners. It is incredibly toxic to lie to your partner and suggest something is okay to “test them”
@@Gayonetta5000 he should not have done it whether she was ok with it or not. Integrity isn't based on permission or acceptance from one person. I wouldn't want a partner that isn't sleeping around solely because they "can't." They should be choosing to be loyal because they love their partner, not for lack of permission.
Yay! More Sophia! "I'm not going to, but you can sleep with other people if you want." IT WAS A TRAP! As a woman, let me translate this into "man" for you: "I'm going to be super faithful to you even though we are apart, because I don't know if we will work things out or not, but I'm going to tell you that you can sleep with other people while we are apart to test your love for me." So when he said he had slept with others... yeah, he just broke her heart and because he was a stupid man who took things at face value, she walked into her own trap and has to live with that heartbreak.
Riley’s estrogen levels are letting have it and I’m here for it. Now I’m curious to know if y’all have the same cycle and synced up 😂 love the show y’all.
Cheating while separated depends on whether there is any intention of getting back together. When I separated from my first husband, it was just the first step in my divorce. We were absolutely *not* going to be reconciling. I started dating immediately. I moved on the actual divorce when I realized I was going to marry my late husband. I sorta figured it was a good idea to be divorced before I remarried.
For the last story: I really fucking hope OP finds out that this baby isn't his in the end, maybe see how he feels since "being faithful and cheating without the partner finding out/knowing is the exact same thing" and well, if he didn't know she never cheated either 🤷♀️ but also I have a feeling wife is way too good of a person to even THINK of cheating on her hubby. I hope she and the baby are doing okay, that she stays strong and leaves this prick when she finally finds out bc she WILL find out
Technically OP didn't cheat but if the goal of the seperation was to rebuild the relationship then you don't start sleeping with ANYONE! His focus should've been fixing the issues that caused the separation.
Last Story (my whishfull thinking): I hope the mother to be (preggo GF) found out about it (cheating), because she got a STD (curable) by him (Doc told her at her first preventive examination [du to blood / urin / smear test]) and thats why she didn't wanna sleep with him. She has an PI hot on his heels and sue him for every last penny he has and will ever earn for life. Thats what He deserves!
I'm with Riley, the wife who said she was "fine" with the husband sleeping with other people while separating was testing him, and then felt bad when he actually did it & of course she's blaming herself bc that was dumb.
For story 1, maybe the girls parents have to be in the room since they make the final decision to accept the marriage. It sounds like they make all the decisions until the kids are married and move out. In my culture it makes sense to talk the cousin privately and not in front of her parents. Although, what is right to someone might be wrong to someone else
The story about the separation, I don’t feel bad for the wife. She shouldn’t be punishing him for what she decided on. It’s so unfair to him. She needs to go to some therapy. She is right that she screwed herself over and instead of leaving, she needs to get a handle on herself. It’s clear he wouldn’t have slept with the coworker if he didn’t have her permission bc he said it wasn’t even what he wanted. Ugh I feel for him. I had a partner who did something similar to me, but it was because I kissed someone after he said he wanted to go on a break and see other people during it. He flipped out at me and said he didn’t think I would actually do it and how horrible I was, I must have been so desperate, I probably am lying and rly did sleep with him, etc etc. I was heartbroken and felt like such an idiot for a long long time. It’s honestly insanity inducing and a very specific kind of gaslighting. Like hey go ahead and do this, but when you do, secretly I’m going to be mad about it!
In a strict culture like OP explained, similar to mine, you do not have friends of opposite sex in which you hang out alone with. Ever. They are either your husband's friends or wives friends. Wives of husband's male friends or husbands of wive's female friends. That's how it is.
42:20 You guys are ALL wrong. If she REALLY loved him she'd be taking Therapy not divorce court. This is how SHE walks away with out any negative baggage. She can tell him that she blames herself, but she doesn't. She BLAMES HIM! She blames him for being such a weak man that all he needed to committe adultery was a period away from eachother and permission to cheat and he DID.
After hearing Riley's theiry about the culture of the first OP, versus my original theory, I'm realizing there truly are a LOT of cultures around the world that hold these sexist values 🙃 it's really hard to narrow it down!
First time I'm early!! 😁 LOVE YOUR VIDEOS I FALL ASLEEP WITH THEM ON! LOVE SEEING SOPHIA MORE ALSO! P.s I am actually a 22 year old female, my little brother used this account when he was younger so I could monitor what he was watching 🤣🤣
For the 2nd story… OP didn’t do anything wrong… they agreed to seeing other people. He didn’t cheat. He was not sneaking around and when she asked he was honest. She could not handle her choice in the agreement… it’s very sad for both of them..I don’t understand why everyone was nasty to him…
Never doubt a pregnant woman’s gut level radar. Bet she is not sleeping with him *because* she senses something is off. Or maybe gasp, she knows but understand she it too vulnerable to break away while pregnant. He might have a bigger reality check coming. Also smart to get his name cooperatively on the child’s birth certificate before parting ways.
Last story: This guy already cheats on her during pregnancy cuz she doesn't give him "enough sexual attention." Wait until the kid is born, and she'll be focusing all her attention on the newborn, recovery and sleep deprivation.... And when she has the 2nd kid, or the 3rd... This guy won't stop cheating.
Just my opinion, but I absolutely adore Sophia & Sam! The energy is awesome among all of you. Also, I WISH Riley was older (or into slightly older women😉) bc he seems like a genuinely good man. 🤷🏽♀️🥰✌🏽
20:26 when it comes to bringing up a confession/truth to the "internal community" it would likely backfire... The gal's family would rather NOT know! Knowing that a man is doing ish tends to be on the gals' fault for not holding him faithful 😞 (some culture would taint the woman for not being "desirable enough to mold/change or catch the perfect man") It's extremely sad but pride is everything, even at the expense of others (aka women)
To the last man who’s an even bigger asshole than the second to last man: you say you love your wife (which MIGHT be true… but you don’t respect her) but she does NOT love you. She thinks she does but if she doesn’t know what you’re capable of (cheating) then she cannot truly love you.
OP 2 is NOT the AH with the rules laid out PRIOR to the separation. If she changed her mind after the fact, shame on her, for giving him permission. Men will ALWAYS sleep with someone else if given the chance. He was WRONG for sleeping with anyone, especially if the plan was to work on being together in the long run. Therapy is in their future ❤
I would love to watch Sophia cook with you or while you guys read reddit stories! Also, if you do, please post the recipes! I too am an avid baker/cook ❤
Courting is from when the rich used to hook up in 1700's. It as old as the phrases "Coming Out" or "Making their Debut" as women from the ages of 16 would be introduced to court to find a match.
Story 2- the man was worried about his wife sleeping with other bc she needs an emotional connection before she will sleep with someone meaning he was afraid she’d make an emotional connection and decide to leave him for the other person if she did sleep with anyone, whereas he doesn’t need that connection so he didn’t think it was as serious for him to do it.
Oof that second story is a doozy! OP is the a-hole for sleeping with someone else during the separation since they had the intention of fixing things.... But the wife HAS GOT TO COMMUNICATE. Going on silently and refusing to be open about her feelings and needs is NOT healthy for her or the relationship. They need therapy, separately and together 😬
When I separated from my ex, there was NO working it out. I tried to get him to go to counseling with me, but his response was “I’m not going to pay someone who keeps telling me I’m the asshole”. Welllllllll…. One of us cheated 🤔 In my state you must be separated for a yr before you can divorce. 🙄🙄 so after a couple months I found a rebound. Ex wasn’t happy but we weren’t getting back together sooo… 🤷🏻♀️ After that wreck of a marriage, 15 yrs later I’m still not wanting to marry.
46:49 Most women have great intuition if you keep cheating SHE WILL FIND OUT EVENTUALLY!!! I promise she’s already suspicious of you. Why is it that your wife doesn’t want to have sex with you during pregnancy? Did she have much of a sex drive before pregnancy? Does she have no sex drive due to pregnancy ? Is she uncomfortable in general as pregnancy can be painful or uncomfortable or does sex hurt? Is she worried about the baby? Is there a medical reason why she can’t or doesn’t want to have sex? Could she possibly not want to have sex with you because she already feels like you are cheating? The reason matters because instead of cheating you could work on potentially improving your relationship so that maybe she wants to have sex. None of these reasons are a good reason to cheat on your wife especially while she’s pregnant with your baby. I understand sex is an important part of most if not all relationships it’s an important part for my husband and for myself there is a better option than cheating.
Always love having Sophia on the podcast, it's about time someone told them Sam's cheating scale was out of pocket and not okay
BROOO THATS NOT WHAT IM SAYING haha - basically I’m saying that for every 4 years of a relationship people tend to stay together past cheating because the relationship has more momentum behind it. Cheating is never a good thing but sometimes with longer relationships people will look past it.
-Sam
@@OKOPShowTotally get what you are saying Sam. I think people just don't want to break up after such a long time. Like they think they have been in the relationship so long that if they broke up all that time would have been wasted. Which no because you are just "wasting" more years by staying together. More infidelity is probably going to happen. Better to break up the first time, no matter how long you've been together.
I don't see why it's good to boost one and the need to say something negative for a other person just to make a point 🤦
@OKOPShow, I totally understand your scale, Sam! It's hilarious and can easily be taken wrong but totally get the intent behind it
@@OKOPShow it’s ok Sam we still love you bud!! When you explain it that makes more sense. I must have missed the original explanation of your cheating scale lol. Which is fine my ass misunderstands things all the time. Y’all are awesome.
Ps on one of the last episodes you shared your job interview video thing (sorry I can’t think of the label of what the video was for) but it was to get hired for some company and it was a super cool idea.
I really like Sophia joining more permanently. She’s great on these videos
Seconded! Sophia is a great addition!
I agree... She is a welcome addition to the boys club... 😊😊
Yes! I love how the pie hole jokes and vulgarity has decreased. I mean a that’s what she said or title of your sex tape is funny now and then but some of the earlier episodes were cringe.
Agreed!
First story: Can't believe the girls who, by OPs description, are lovely people are now perceived as less valuable for not marrying a potential cheater and a literal drug dealer and, being the ripe "old age" of 25. The way some cultures treat women is just so disheartening
It's not culture it's oppression and misogyny hidden behind the word culture. It needs to change the woman don't deserve to be looked down upon because of a loser ex partner.
Even though the guy had “permission” to sleep with other people, if he was so desperate to have her back and missed her sooo much he shouldn’t have even WANTED to sleep with someone else. He also said he regretted it yet did it twice 🙄
Well, he might've felt lonely and desperate in that moment, not knowing if she was ever going to be with him again. Remember he didn't know she missed him too and she felt so ready to get back with him before they talked it out and got back together. It's still stupid that he did it... He really can't go back on that.
@@iulia.bianca.b I understand desperation...but twice! That what pornhub is for. So you WON'T, do something out of desperation.
@@iulia.bianca.b: But I can’t understand why being desperate and lonely should lead you to the bed of another woman. What’s wrong with just seeking company and some sort of support? And why should that automatically mean that company or support would be a woman? Have these people got no brains?
@janicevango5791 also wasnt the other woman a coworker for 2 yrs
if you’re separating with the goal of fixing your marriage WHY would you sleep with other people?? it was dumb for her to give him the okay but it was dumb for him to think that sleeping with a coworker would help him at all.
because you asking yourself what you really want. I agree they had both acted stupidly.
My thought exactly.
It was a test.
@@lisasteel6817 10000000%
It often helps men cause they often realise how much they were thinking of their SO at the time …
And I’ve heard so many men and women say that - when they actually hooked up with someone else they felt empty and realised it isn’t want they wanted
Sometimes it helps cause we build up the fantasy in our heads - and then that fantasy doesn’t meet up to it
Or he likes it more than he likes her … and as the other person why would you want to be an option .. if they leave you for someone else cause or sec with them .. then they were never yours to begin with .. it was just your turn
It can and does help some people - and it doesn’t help others
That’s the point … sometimes fixing the marriage is realising it was never right to begin with
But I agree that sex with someone in his life if messy as ! Go to bar and have one night stand or pay a sex worker
But anyway not everyone is built the same so it’s dumb for you to assume that
Anyone who is even thinking about cheating on their pregnant partner needs to research the consequences of transferring STI's to an unborn child. It's absolutely horrific. Never risk it.
OMG Yes! The things that can happen to a child in utero....its shocking, really.
I agree with Riley about OP in the second story being hypocritical. Dude was having nightmares about his wife sleeping with other people, but didn't stop to think about how him doing the same might affect his wife 😬👀👀
I agree with Riley on the story about the husband cheating during his separation. I think the wife didn't want to make a decision for him, so she mentions that she's not cheating HOPING he would also not cheat. Meanwhile, this man is terrified of his wife cheating yet he doesn't empathize with how potentially hurt she will be and cheated... just because he can. That would be incredibly hurtful to her, because she made an effort in staying faithful even when she had a free pass to cheat but he did not. It shows that he was selfish all the time (terrified SHE would cheat but ok with him doing it to her). I think the key here is that she was not angry, she was disappointed and that's much more difficult to move on from.
Sophia having to explain the family dynamics over and over is hilarious 😂 I feel for ya, girl 🤣
I know they didn't go into specifics for story 2, but I feel like the dude was obviously entertaining the idea of messing around with the coworker (which will ALWAYS find a way to get in the way of the "main"/primary/spousal relationship, even if unintentionally), he crawled back to his wife because he realized the grass wasn't as green as he thought was over there... I truly feel for his wife and hope she'll find someone that can love and appreciate her instead of take her for granted.
If the culture doesn't want men to hang out with women, how does he even have a female best friend?
In most cultures that have strict rules like that, you can have friends of the opposite sex but you don't hang out with them one on one. Group hangouts or talking on the phone is okay, but taking them on a solo outing at a fancy restaurant is absolutely not. In those cultures, it is seen as wildly inappropriate, especially if you are in a relationship.
Which is why op’s family was very sure the fiancé was on a cheaters date and not something innocent. There were no other people as chaperone. Combined with him going oh no and running with the woman out the restaurant once he saw them looking at him proves he knows it wasn’t innocent by any standards in his culture. Those girls were lucky to have op’s family standing up for them and not just gossiping behind their backs at the wedding or after. They got told before and make a better choice as a result and yet they get labeled as the bad guys because they didn’t just do as others and keep their mouths shut until the wedding was over like everyone else would do in their culture.
No good deed goes unpunished. Sadness. The girls should have still talked to op’s family. They weren’t the cheater or drug dealing ex fiancé’s but it seems their culture blames women not men, so maybe the girls are getting verbally abused for not being married even if it was to a drug dealer or a cheater. They might be getting bombarded with gross talk of, “you could have been supportive and guided him away from such things” as if a man would listen to his wife in a culture that doesn’t treat women well.
Oppression isn't culture just feels like major sexism for no reason
@@carolday3381: What I don’t get is why, in the first instance, they were the villains and causing drama for letting Kimberly know in front of her parents (quite rightly, frankly). But we’re also the villains when they didn’t say anything! Madness! These people need to get their priorities right.
Not Riley breaking my heart with his reaction to story 2….. You’re a good guy
My daughter has the biggest crush on Riley 😂❤. He's got a good soul it seems.
I really enjoy Sophia. Sometimes it’s nice having her keep them to the story.
Thank you Riley to speak the truth. The problem is how can you believe a person who says "i can't live without you" and sleeps with someone else. Loving is not just words. Love from France 🇫🇷❤ You helped me so much during my pregnancy it was such a fun entertainment 🎉
Last story: hope the baby is not OP's kid. That would make a perfect happy family... OP truly deserves it!
Hahahaha! Yes, and certainly he would be, beyond, indignant!
I thought the same thing!
Big protein's description of 2nd story's OP's wife (geeze that's a fingerful to type) being a caterpillar wanting to be held resonated with me on a molecular level. I love you guys.
Does anyone else remember the Lilo and Stitch sandwich stacker game??? That meme just unlocked a memory lol
I agree with Riley! if in fact you are "deathly in love with me and can't breath when I'm not around and couldn't even imagine being with someone else" then why go sleep with someone else knowing I'm waiting for you to get your act together.
The Genes are strong here she does look a lot like Sam
Sam who? 🥸
She didn't say "it's OK with me if you sleep with someone else", she said "I don't have the right to tell you what to do if we're separated". Those are very different things.
last story is making me feel suddenly very violent 🤬
Riley: if she’s under 5’5 I want her to thrive
John looking snazzy as hell today, but he gets a point taken away for not knowing who Ruben is. 🥰✌️🤣
Who is Ruben?
@@EsoteriaHealing Ruben is from Lilo and Stitch. He's an experiment. They put his picture on the screen and John didn't know who he was so I had to tease him.
My opposite gender bff and I are obsessed with food, it's like one of the cornerstones of our friendship. We've eaten at all types of restaurants, but ALWAYS invite our partners (even though they don't always join) because the more the merrier and our partners also love food 😸
Love Sophia so much I can already tell she's got a cold in the very first few seconds just by her voice 😄😋 Get well soon, Soph ❤
The story of the husband and wife agreeing.... is tough. Im Demisexual, I need an emotional connection before sex... Horrible thing is... our love and attraction to our partners are tied to how we see you. If you hurt us... we can turn the love off as easy as flipping a switch. If we feel as if we no longer have a connection, as if we don't know you... then there is no love. Blindsiding a demisexual is the worst thing you can do... not lying.. just blindsiding.. if they know you as a liar... then its not blind siding. Its when we look at you as if we do not know you that its a problem... I was cheated on and that person had to work so hard to win back my trust... and if they walked out the door at that time and gave up.... i would have let them leave and not even blink.
Except there was no blindsiding there...she said he could and he did. They both regretted it but there was no blindsiding
I see ... what you are ... saying, but the... ellipses are a bit ... much.
Growing up we used the word dating to refer to not serious actions while courting is to be used when you plan on marrying the person in the future.
Riley, there is real love in the world outside of Reddit. Here is a happy story for you: My high school sweetheart, now husband, and I did a long distance relationship for two years. During that time, we wrote each other letters by hand every week. The letters were filled with support for each other and the path we were on to better ourselves separately but together. We are about to celebrate 17 years of dating (12 years of marriage). He is still my best friend. He has never broken my trust in all these years. He is my rock and he is still hot as hell. I plan on becoming a wrinkly old raisin with that man.
Girl he definitely got other ass 😂
I don’t know what made her say it was ok to sleep around while they were separated but if you do it then you’re pretty much guaranteed to end the marriage. It’s going to be in her mind that if he loves her some much why would he want someone else during the separation. If it’s separation with the intent of getting back together then keep it in your pants. I’m going to have to listen to the story again because I am at a trampoline park with my kids and missed parts lol
I love having Sophia on the show!!! Also big protein buffering between the last two stories 😂
To comment on Riley’s take: I’m whole heartedly against “testing” your partner. Either you trust them, or you don’t. If you feel like you need to do a test in order to check on the status of your relationship , the relationship is already over. And I think some people underestimate how powerful giving someone a pass is. If you tell someone that they can do something with zero repercussions, you’ve now put a planted a seed in their head that may not have been there beforehand. And had you not said anything, they wouldn’t have done it. It just seems underhanded to do something like that to someone that you’re supposed to care about.
I agree that it's not right to give someone permission to do something with the intention of punishing them if they do. However, if the only thing that's stopping you from sleeping around is permission, then you are not a good partner. After that many years of marriage, he should have valued his wife more than that. Even with her permission, he should have cared more about saving his marriage than sleeping around. It shows where his priorities were and his wife was nowhere near the top of the list.
@@Karamarika I don’t necessarily agree with that. We don’t know if he wouldn’t have slept with anyone else had she not given him the idea that he could do it without repercussions. That alone is enough for some people. It’s easy to say he just shouldn’t have done it. But that’s only the case because she turned out to not be fine with it at all.
@@Karamarika absolutely not. The only reason you aren’t sleeping around can be your in a relationship where that isn’t allowed in, and that is completely fine because your following your partners boundaries. Sleeping with other people means nothing about how you feel about other people. Sex for many people is just for fun with people they don’t love and completely different from their partners. It is incredibly toxic to lie to your partner and suggest something is okay to “test them”
@@Gayonetta5000 he should not have done it whether she was ok with it or not. Integrity isn't based on permission or acceptance from one person. I wouldn't want a partner that isn't sleeping around solely because they "can't." They should be choosing to be loyal because they love their partner, not for lack of permission.
That last story.......oooooooof!
I hope someone eventually, treats that poor pregnant woman with the love and respect you claim to have for her.
41:41 awwwh Riley really felt it. Even John was looking at Riley like this one is the one that broke Riley.
Love Sophia’s takes! Great show y’all👏👏👏
Love seeing Sophia on the show so much! She's a great host ❤️
Most of the time, I'm not in favor of serious alimony, but the guy who's cheating on his pregnant wife? I hope she divorces him and cleans him out.
The last one is insane!
Yay! More Sophia!
"I'm not going to, but you can sleep with other people if you want."
IT WAS A TRAP! As a woman, let me translate this into "man" for you: "I'm going to be super faithful to you even though we are apart, because I don't know if we will work things out or not, but I'm going to tell you that you can sleep with other people while we are apart to test your love for me." So when he said he had slept with others... yeah, he just broke her heart and because he was a stupid man who took things at face value, she walked into her own trap and has to live with that heartbreak.
A trap means the relationship was already broken.
Riley’s estrogen levels are letting have it and I’m here for it. Now I’m curious to know if y’all have the same cycle and synced up 😂 love the show y’all.
The "see ya tomorrow" in this episode was on 💯! Love you okop fam!
I love when Sophia hosts!
I checked the comments in case David Schwimmer came in with an “Actually…” haha
I’m shocked! Riley wearing gojek jacket 😅😂 Gojek just got free advertisement!
Cheating while separated depends on whether there is any intention of getting back together. When I separated from my first husband, it was just the first step in my divorce. We were absolutely *not* going to be reconciling. I started dating immediately. I moved on the actual divorce when I realized I was going to marry my late husband. I sorta figured it was a good idea to be divorced before I remarried.
Leaving is not always an option 🥺 - if she doesn’t have family, friends, or resources they feel more dependent
For the last story: I really fucking hope OP finds out that this baby isn't his in the end, maybe see how he feels since "being faithful and cheating without the partner finding out/knowing is the exact same thing" and well, if he didn't know she never cheated either 🤷♀️ but also I have a feeling wife is way too good of a person to even THINK of cheating on her hubby. I hope she and the baby are doing okay, that she stays strong and leaves this prick when she finally finds out bc she WILL find out
Experiment 625 on Lilo & Stitch was my favorite part of that whole tv show.
Technically OP didn't cheat but if the goal of the seperation was to rebuild the relationship then you don't start sleeping with ANYONE! His focus should've been fixing the issues that caused the separation.
Sam who hurt you?! 😢😂
Last Story (my whishfull thinking):
I hope the mother to be (preggo GF) found out about it (cheating), because she got a STD (curable) by him (Doc told her at her first preventive examination [du to blood / urin / smear test]) and thats why she didn't wanna sleep with him. She has an PI hot on his heels and sue him for every last penny he has and will ever earn for life. Thats what He deserves!
John be looking flyer than a fly
I'm with Riley, the wife who said she was "fine" with the husband sleeping with other people while separating was testing him, and then felt bad when he actually did it & of course she's blaming herself bc that was dumb.
For story 1, maybe the girls parents have to be in the room since they make the final decision to accept the marriage. It sounds like they make all the decisions until the kids are married and move out.
In my culture it makes sense to talk the cousin privately and not in front of her parents. Although, what is right to someone might be wrong to someone else
I'm so glad someone called out his cheating scale! 😂😂😂
Story 1: I can tell by how OP described things and how she described family that her culture is West African (Nigerian most likely).
The first story, what’s up with OP? I’m with the mom and sibling- tell it!!!! Fuck those secrets, it’s not drama, it’s dangerous.
SWOOP!! *ending music for swoop’s videos*
The story about the separation, I don’t feel bad for the wife. She shouldn’t be punishing him for what she decided on. It’s so unfair to him. She needs to go to some therapy. She is right that she screwed herself over and instead of leaving, she needs to get a handle on herself. It’s clear he wouldn’t have slept with the coworker if he didn’t have her permission bc he said it wasn’t even what he wanted. Ugh I feel for him. I had a partner who did something similar to me, but it was because I kissed someone after he said he wanted to go on a break and see other people during it. He flipped out at me and said he didn’t think I would actually do it and how horrible I was, I must have been so desperate, I probably am lying and rly did sleep with him, etc etc. I was heartbroken and felt like such an idiot for a long long time. It’s honestly insanity inducing and a very specific kind of gaslighting. Like hey go ahead and do this, but when you do, secretly I’m going to be mad about it!
It's nice having a women's perspective
In a strict culture like OP explained, similar to mine, you do not have friends of opposite sex in which you hang out alone with. Ever. They are either your husband's friends or wives friends. Wives of husband's male friends or husbands of wive's female friends. That's how it is.
Sophia I hope you feel better soon! It sounds like you’re recovering from a cold!
42:20 You guys are ALL wrong. If she REALLY loved him she'd be taking Therapy not divorce court. This is how SHE walks away with out any negative baggage. She can tell him that she blames herself, but she doesn't. She BLAMES HIM! She blames him for being such a weak man that all he needed to committe adultery was a period away from eachother and permission to cheat and he DID.
Mmmmm John in a suit got me actin unwise
That last story sounded like rage bait.
Its impossible to not do it infront of their parents it seems like this culture is really involved with the kids life
5:31 Riley's absolutely stoned 😂
“Yea, it’s just an OK house” _badum tss_
People never say what they mean. They never mean what they say. Just don't do it.
fidelityy is not all that it takes to make a relationship work.
OMG Riley you are the the best human ever. ❤️
After hearing Riley's theiry about the culture of the first OP, versus my original theory, I'm realizing there truly are a LOT of cultures around the world that hold these sexist values 🙃 it's really hard to narrow it down!
Fastest time yet! Love your content guys! Do a story about psychopaths!
Lol half of these have stories with them, good chance to learn to spot them haha
Riley’s Golden Lab energy was on full display this episode.
OMG RILEY! 😭 I seriously started to tear up when you started getting sad.
My nan and elderly relatives used to ask if I was courting 😊
First time I'm early!! 😁 LOVE YOUR VIDEOS I FALL ASLEEP WITH THEM ON! LOVE SEEING SOPHIA MORE ALSO!
P.s I am actually a 22 year old female, my little brother used this account when he was younger so I could monitor what he was watching 🤣🤣
For the 2nd story… OP didn’t do anything wrong… they agreed to seeing other people. He didn’t cheat. He was not sneaking around and when she asked he was honest. She could not handle her choice in the agreement… it’s very sad for both of them..I don’t understand why everyone was nasty to him…
Never doubt a pregnant woman’s gut level radar. Bet she is not sleeping with him *because* she senses something is off. Or maybe gasp, she knows but understand she it too vulnerable to break away while pregnant. He might have a bigger reality check coming. Also smart to get his name cooperatively on the child’s birth certificate before parting ways.
Last story: This guy already cheats on her during pregnancy cuz she doesn't give him "enough sexual attention." Wait until the kid is born, and she'll be focusing all her attention on the newborn, recovery and sleep deprivation.... And when she has the 2nd kid, or the 3rd... This guy won't stop cheating.
Pretty much. He's useless.
Sophia's throat sounds sore. Get yourself some honey girlie.
Just my opinion, but I absolutely adore Sophia & Sam! The energy is awesome among all of you. Also, I WISH Riley was older (or into slightly older women😉) bc he seems like a genuinely good man. 🤷🏽♀️🥰✌🏽
John: Stop cheating on your pregnant wife
Ssheeeesh John….fucking hot take there…. _that’s a spicy hotuh take there_
20:26 when it comes to bringing up a confession/truth to the "internal community" it would likely backfire... The gal's family would rather NOT know! Knowing that a man is doing ish tends to be on the gals' fault for not holding him faithful 😞 (some culture would taint the woman for not being "desirable enough to mold/change or catch the perfect man")
It's extremely sad but pride is everything, even at the expense of others (aka women)
Reuben (experement625) was voiced by Rob Paulsen, who voiced Yako and Pinkie in the Anamaniacs.
36:30 - I completely agree & love you for that Riley
I'm just imagining that she is under 5foot5---
IM DEAD
maturity is a myth you heard it here first.
To the last man who’s an even bigger asshole than the second to last man: you say you love your wife (which MIGHT be true… but you don’t respect her) but she does NOT love you. She thinks she does but if she doesn’t know what you’re capable of (cheating) then she cannot truly love you.
OP 2 is NOT the AH with the rules laid out PRIOR to the separation. If she changed her mind after the fact, shame on her, for giving him permission. Men will ALWAYS sleep with someone else if given the chance. He was WRONG for sleeping with anyone, especially if the plan was to work on being together in the long run.
Therapy is in their future ❤
I would love to watch Sophia cook with you or while you guys read reddit stories! Also, if you do, please post the recipes! I too am an avid baker/cook ❤
Courting is from when the rich used to hook up in 1700's. It as old as the phrases "Coming Out" or "Making their Debut" as women from the ages of 16 would be introduced to court to find a match.
Story 2- the man was worried about his wife sleeping with other bc she needs an emotional connection before she will sleep with someone meaning he was afraid she’d make an emotional connection and decide to leave him for the other person if she did sleep with anyone, whereas he doesn’t need that connection so he didn’t think it was as serious for him to do it.
Oof that second story is a doozy! OP is the a-hole for sleeping with someone else during the separation since they had the intention of fixing things.... But the wife HAS GOT TO COMMUNICATE. Going on silently and refusing to be open about her feelings and needs is NOT healthy for her or the relationship. They need therapy, separately and together 😬
He's a sociopath
When I separated from my ex, there was NO working it out. I tried to get him to go to counseling with me, but his response was “I’m not going to pay someone who keeps telling me I’m the asshole”. Welllllllll…. One of us cheated 🤔
In my state you must be separated for a yr before you can divorce. 🙄🙄 so after a couple months I found a rebound. Ex wasn’t happy but we weren’t getting back together sooo… 🤷🏻♀️
After that wreck of a marriage, 15 yrs later I’m still not wanting to marry.
There needs to be a therapy chant
46:49 Most women have great intuition if you keep cheating SHE WILL FIND OUT EVENTUALLY!!! I promise she’s already suspicious of you. Why is it that your wife doesn’t want to have sex with you during pregnancy? Did she have much of a sex drive before pregnancy?
Does she have no sex drive due to pregnancy ? Is she uncomfortable in general as pregnancy can be painful or uncomfortable or does sex hurt? Is she worried about the baby? Is there a medical reason why she can’t or doesn’t want to have sex? Could she possibly not want to have sex with you because she already feels like you are cheating?
The reason matters because instead of cheating you could work on potentially improving your relationship so that maybe she wants to have sex. None of these reasons are a good reason to cheat on your wife especially while she’s pregnant with your baby.
I understand sex is an important part of most if not all relationships it’s an important part for my husband and for myself there is a better option than cheating.
Riley how did you get that jacket!? that's so random 🤣
I got it when we were in Bali💀 (Sam and I have them) - Riley
That last story was teeth grinding.. 😬
Too many men where I live refuse to show emotion. Seeing the opposite here is really nice. :3
Riley is so friggin sweet and cute, how that guy is single is a mystery