Funny thing about the dishonorable Viking dude that died to a Scotsman’s postmortem kiss was that he didn’t die in battle, thus forever barring his soul from entering Valhalla.
I didn't even look at this from the Vikings perspective Based Scot managed to convince Odin to let him go back for 5 minutes to make sure that spineless fucker doesn't get a place in fulfilling the prophecy
Gonna nitpick here, but I'm not doing so maliciously: Valhal is reserved for some of the greatest warriors. Dying in battle wasn't enough. You had to basically be an avatar of war. Kept killing dudes after getting gutted/losing an arm kind of thing. Even then, the best of the warriors were picked first, and not by Óðinn. The Queen of the Valkyries, Bearer of Brisingamen, the Wise Witch, Noble Freya was granted first pick of the Glorious Dead and takes them to Folkvang. One can imagine that some warriors were better suited for Valhal and others for Folkvang. There's this modern perception that Valhal is the only Germanic afterlife. There are actually quite a few. Helheim, for instance, is populated in part by those who died a 'straw death', which would be dying in your bed (beds were stuffed with straw). Even had he died in battle, what little we've been told leads me to believe he a) wasn't a great warrior and b) sought the easy way out. So nah, Valhal was out of reach no matter what.
@@aethelfrithofbernicai don't know how true what you said is. I'm a skeptic, but a lazy one so I don't look into things a lot. But thank you for the comment. I might look into the after life of this culture. I'm not sure yet. Either way, very interesting stuff.
Don't forget the story of Jack Daniel ( the famous Whiskey distiller) who died after kicking his safe out of anger because he forgot the combination. He injured his big toe, it got infected, and he had to have his foot amputated. But the infection spread to his system and he died from these complications
There is also a story that shouldn't be forgotten, the death of emperor Valentinian. While meeting with some Quadi envoys he was upset at their making excuses of Quadi raids he shouted at them to the point of suffering a stroke and dying.
I can see a euthanasia company. You sit down. They hand you some drinks… Then you see drinks disappearing around the corner. Then after you’re lit you see the donkey pop his head around and smile.
Got to say, I was impressed by the sheer balls Charondas possessed. It isn't often regulators would be righteous enough to fall on their own swords to uphold the laws they make.
Got to say, there's pretty much nobody better suited than Dank to do a video on this subject, because he appreciates the dark humour in the absurdity of these deaths
On the subject I couldn't help but think of the greek dramatist, Aeschylus, the "father of tragedy", who died because an eagle dropped a turtle on his head.
He was dedicated to his job no matter what the cost! After slapping the king he could have apologised or attempted to talk his way out of it, but instead he doubled down - he'd scored the try and nothing was going to stop him getting the conversion. Absolute madlad.
That last one is similar to the case we hear in the stories of Mathias Corvinus with his court jester. Apparently, when the jester got too spicey and crossed the line, Mathias proclaimed he never wanted to see his face again, so the jester turned around and bent over (turning his ass towards the king). The king got pissed and he sentenced the jester on the spot to hanging, but the jester pleaded to atleast be allowed to pick the tree from which to hang from. The king allowed him to make his choice, so the jester spent an afternoon scouring a forest with an armed escort, eventually settling on a shrubby little random tree that could, in no way or shape or form, hold his weight. When the guards led the jester back to the king he found the situation so damn funny he pardoned the jester.
My uncle who was a bus driver passed away in his sleep. That's the way I want to go. I definitely don't want to go screaming in terror like his 47 passengers.
25:30 The funniest part about Garry Hoy was that he did everyone's favorite part of telling a joke, where you repeat it a second time even louder. In this case he actually ran at the glass and bounced off as expected, but then immediately got up and did it a second time, at which point the glass popped out and Garry fell to his death.
I wonder how much of this was caused by the fact he was probably did it regularly to the same window ? Like this was his big thing he liked to do for the new employees for a laugh
Fun fact about the Civil War death: at the time it was thought unlikely that a rifle could be deadly at a thousand yards away, in fact even today that's an impressive shot to make. However, the Confederates used the Whitworth rifle, an octagonally rifled gun that was possibly the first in the world to be reliably accurate at 1,000 yards.
The Forgotten Weapons video on the Confederate Whitworth and Witworth in general was fascinating. Despite costs being cut everywhere that wouldn't affect performance vs the standard Whitworth, they were still far and away the most expensive rifle in the CSA's arsenal, and they maximized their effectiveness by deploying small cadres of sharpshooters independently to link up with larger armies as needed. Also, Joseph Whitworth created the first standardized model for types of screw, more or less invented mass production of planed surfaces, and popularized the use of engineer's blue.
Can’t believe no one has said: Fuck around and find out. Most guns weren’t accurate at that range but there is such a thing as a lucky shot. Or a gun they may have not heard of? If I’m not to lazy I’ll edit this when I find out.
I remember the show 1000 Ways To Die and there was one episode where this guy who was camping and in a desperate attempt to get drunk he starting drinking gasoline which of course made him incredibly sick. He then proceeds to throw up into the fire and obviously you can guess what happened next. Definitely a Darwin Award worthy moment.
You know, it's so funny you mention that. I remember one of a guy who hadn't had a shit for about a couple weeks and as he tried to push out a literal football sized turd, he pushed so much and so hard that he ended up having an aneurysm while on the toilet and died. Another one involved a guy and bags of cinnamon only to choke himself to death from all the cinnamon particles in the air. I forget how the setup of that Darwin Award winner went, but it was just hilariously bad.
My mom claims that one of our ancestors drowned in a barrel of beer. I dunno if this is true but if it is, at least the man died surrounded by the thing he loved.
A guy I went to school with died of something kinda stupid. A bloody nose... After he graduated he got a job working construction. While framing a house he got a bloody nose. So he tilted his head back and started to go down stairs. Unfortunately the stairway he attempted to walk down had no stairs built yet, so he walked off a ledge and fell to the concrete below, where he died from the impact. I was friends with his brother and it was hell on him to lose his brother, who was only two years older. I remember the guy being a really good, friendly person too. It's a shame. I've almost died of stupid things multiple times too, but never a bloody nose.
@@namebrandlabel Of course not, all that does is ensure that it keeps flowing as long as possible instead of hitting a dead end and coagulating quickly.
Ah, Death. It can happen anytime, at anywhere, when you're doing anything. Sometimes you don't even get to say anything. I'll never forget my dad's last words to me. He said, "Careful son, I think thats loaded."
Same thing, tyrants are rarely actual strong people, usually just politically “strong”. Look at the Austrian painter for example, he was a little weasel that would be absolutely boned without someone else around to protect him.
@@dewolff6937 Yup, same thing happened as with Dank’s dog. A Finnish man taught his dog the “salute” and moustache man had him arrested. Here we are nearly a century later and the British government are now trying to emulate him.
@@Beepers559 I thought it was just meth but it’s hard to know for sure. Look at what the gov/media/schools do these days... brazenly lying their ass off about stuff that happened a week ago, even when there’s 4K video evidence to the contrary. The chances that they aren’t lying about at least some events that happened 80 years ago, are basically nil.
When I was a teen in the early 90s one of my hobbies was disarming WW2 Ammo, Artillery shells, etc and after a few weeks blowing it all up together. My friends still talk about my famous Star Wars explosion. ( Don't do this at home kids, I knew what I was doing and you dont)
As I recall, the parachutist had forgotten to account for the weight of the parachute itself in his calculations for the size of parachute required to slow his fall properly.
Recently in my home country, a woman jumped off an office building trying to commit suicide. She ended up landing on an elderly lady, who ended up dying in the hospital. The one trying to off herself survived.
4:55 Draco had that death by suffocation coming and one can only hope he was a victim of his own "dutch oven" (slang for flatulence odor intoxication in one's own bed sheets or blankets or clothes).
I knew a pastor years ago who told me a story about going to a carnival when he and his brother were teenagers. This would have been in the fifties. He said one of the carnies there had a declawed bear you could wrestle for money. The pastor and his brother were both big farmboys and high school wrestlers, so they thought they could win, especially when the carny said they could wrestle as a team. The pastor told me that the bear just manhandled them like children. He said he's never felt such power, and that any man thinking he could beat a bear in a fight is a fool.
The booze and bear incident reminds me of one of the few times I camped in an organized campground. My business partner and I went camping and fishing with some professional hockey player clients of ours. We were on the campground ranger's radar within minutes of arriving due to most of the hockey players having just recently purchasing all of their camping gear and all the packaging trash that was strewn around the campsite as we were setting up. We let her know that we will be picking all this up as soon as we get set up and she split. Later that evening she showed up again as we had our bar set up on one of the picnic tables and jumped our asses again. "You've got to keep all of that booze in the bear box. The bears around here are all alkies. They'll wound you for your food but kill you for that booze."
Hey Dank, I would honestly would love this to be a series. One story I think you should cover in a sequel video should be the Gaston firework accident that happened at Disney World back in 2015.
The one thing I love about all of your videos is how you leave the dumb giggles in, you fully describe one of the worst things ever and giggle like naughty school kids in the back of the class 🤣 id love to see more of these, as I’ve been watching Huggbee’s series on the same thing, it’s such a ridiculous video topic I love it
Sedgwick's last words are my absolute favorite. He was most likely, as in 99.9999% positively, shot with a Whitworth rifle which is a marvel of engineering made my an English chap named Joseph Whitworth. Whitworth is credited with standardizing thread patterns, a decent amount of machining and precision practices like triple ground plates, and the rifle was tested and fired by the Queen and smacked a fairly small target at a good distance (relative to the time period) on the first go of it. The rifle adopted due to cost and logistics (it used twisted bullets that matched the hexagonal twisted bore) but was used greatly by confederate snipers if they could get smuggled past the Union blockades.
It's interesting how much stuff the south bought from England, at one point the south was trying to buy a warship but had to go through an Egyptian company to buy it because the north told England they couldn't sell to the south, luckily the boat was not finished in time for the war
@@ViolentlyAmerican The last action of the Civil War took place in Liverpool Town Hall on 6 Nov 1865 with the surrender of the Confederate warship CSS Shenandoah. Shenandoah also fired the last shot of the war on 22 June 1865. There are some other Liverpool links to the War and the Confederacy: The opening shot of the war was fired from a cannon manufactured on Lydia Ann Street in Liverpool The Confederacy and the Union both had unofficial embassies in the city - both buildings are still there today The Confederacy's most successful commerce raider, CSS Alabama was built in Liverpool and many of her crew were from the city. The final lowering of the Confederate flag took place in the River Mersey on board CSS Shenandoah Several dozen Confederacy ships (mostly blockade runners) were built in the city, and local yards also built ships for the Union. A number of vessels including a pair of advanced warships that were intended for the Confederacy were seized by the British Government and handed over to the Royal Navy. Britain didn't recognise the Confederacy but was officially neutral in the conflict, although pressure from the Union led them to seize vessels if they were shown proof that they'd been built for the Confederacy.
@@trolleriffic i have copied from the first article Google shows when you search about the British building confederate ships. Please try to at least Google before replying James Dunwoody Bulloch, the Confederacy's chief foreign agent in Great Britain, led this effort to obtain Confederate ships in Liverpool. He particularly negotiated with John Laird Sons & Co. in Birkenhead, across the Mersey River estuary from Liverpool, to build warships for the South. British neutrality meant that warships could not legally be built in the country for either side, but Bulloch circumvented this problem by ensuring that the ships, while clearly designed for battle, were not actually fitted with armaments in Britain. Through this strategy, the ships could be presented as civilian vessels when they left British jurisdiction, but they would then travel to Terceira, a Portuguese island located in the North Atlantic archipelago of the Azores, where they were armed. Bulloch's subterfuge was blatant, but it successfully confused the legal definition of what could be defined a warship in Great Britain.
You and Huggbees should do a crossover event, he has a series on this very subject and it's HILARIOUS. Edit: He actually covers some of the same deaths like the greek who offed himself lol.
My dad new a guy that had retired from Boeing for about a week. He put a ladder up in his garage to ascend up into the loft. The ladder slipped out from under him. He smacked his face on the top rung and died instantly. Beware those grease spots on the floor my friends.
My dad's cousin fell off a scaffolding and died. Worst part is he was only there to help his brother out. Beware doing favours in dangerous environments, folks.
Sounds a little bit sus there bud don't ya think? That 100% could be a cover up/fabricated scenario. I bet he flew all those people on that list to Eggsteins Island of dirty little secrets.
My mum once told me of a thing that happened at her old workplace. Some guys were bringing in a massive, floor-to-ceiling safe when it began tipping forward. One of the guys ran forward to try and catch it; which to be fair, he did. But it didn't stop the fall of this ridiculously heavy safe. Cromch. He did not survive.
@@DDdreamer90 wow! I'm a steel worker (welder) I deal with very heavy objects all the time. If something is falling just get out of the way. These things are unforgiving. You have to just let them go. Run if you have to.
@@andrewniles1 They think he tried catching it out of reflex, without thinking about it. Something was tipping over, so he tried stopping it. It happened at an office building, so I guess the guy just didn't have enough kind of experience with heavy industry to react accordingly.
Over watching the intro like "I wonder how many of these will come from the old Horrible History books?" Then you actually showed the reaper from the show. I bloody love you man xD
Dank. Here’s some suggestions for future videos... Colton Harris Moore aka the Barefoot Bandit: Real Life GTA Character Intelsat 708: when Communist China played Kerbal Space Program in real life Mad Mike Hughes: Flat Earther that crash landed his homemade rocket Colin McCrae: Scottish Rally Car Driver Rainbow Farm Siege Cokeville Hostage Crisis Milton Bill Cooper: conspiracy radio host killed by the government Mad Mike Hoare: Irish Mercenary The Iran-Iraq War Swamp Electrocution
Jffry .... I don't understand your comment, my apologies. Are you saying he is pursuing content in regards too approaching the sentinelsse truthfully or is this just a sarcastic quip ?
@@kurtiscleary9759 Miles has said that he plans on going to the island dressed up in full plate armor and bringing coconuts as a bribe. You'll have to decide if he's serious or not, I can't tell.
@@kurtiscleary9759the person is saying they are glad Lord miles isn't dead, and that being in Afghanistan then the Afghan prison at the time, was dumb. But the poster is glad he isn't dead.
After listening to the one about the jester, you need to do one on Colonel Thomas Blood, the multi-time traitor, kidnapper, attempted thief of the British crown jewels, and the man who demanded to plead his case to the king and actually got off scott free for being such a mad lad.
Genetically breeding to end up with a particular patch of dark hair.. in a particular lip location lol.. in a particular 2D side view cube shape. That's some Dr Evil with a degree kinda work..
Danks, the story about Valerian being forced to swallow Molten Gold is most likely a complete invention by Lactantius, to turn the whole ordeal into an (almost biblical) Morality tale (based on the expression "Silenteum est Aureum").
@@CalsGirl97 Yes, and I'm pointing out where that particular story came from, and the most likely reason why it exists in the first place. I'm not saying (nor implying) Mark got anything wrong, just adding some context to that part of Valerian's (possible, but unlikely) history.
Then you realise the nation with the most murders has the death penalty and prison for life without parole. The only thing that corolstes absolutely with less crime is less things being illegal, crazy.
My favorite darwin award (which is a website from the 90s that tracks silly deaths) has to be the Australian couple. A couple left a bar and found the street to be quite comfy. So much so, that one thing led to another, and the people outside the bar got a full show. Now, the audience did shout at them to get a room and other things, but the couple were too drunk, too into it, and too full of themselves. So much so, that the bus that smashed right into them did not see, nor hear them. The driver thought they were trash on the road. A few other ones. The German plastic puppet man. A gay man wanted to gyrate up and down a large wooden stick. So he constructed a device out of German latex, and wore the suit. His testing proved quite pleasurable, perhaps too pleasurable. The stick went straight through his body when physics decided that the force that ripped through the latex was enough to make him impaled. The chainsaw farmers. A pair of farmers decided to get drunk and then do stunts of bravery. One man lopped off his arm. The other decided that was for pussy, so lopped off his head. The honorable mentioned poop drowning. A new zoo keeper who worked with animals did not realize that poop under the hot African sun tends to bake, but only on the surface. So he climbed up a ten foot tall poop pile, thinking it could support his weight. It did not. He managed to escape before dying.
I actually knew the Sigard one🤣I think its possible from the swinging motion due to running the teeth could've impaled his leg making look as if it "came to life" though rubbing those nasty nashers absolutely would've been enough to give him an infection. Lmao idk I kinda like the idea of him carelessly galloping along and that head getting one last "bite" in due to his own stupidity by letting it swing into him like that😂
The last time i tried Keto, i might have almost made it on this list lol I was taking some of that mct oil in my coffee. In my pot of coffee. Just a 5 second tight squeeze of it every day for a week. And it was a baaaaad week. It was like Montezuma's revenge, turbo edition. Turns out, youre supposed to ease into the stuff, and only have a spoonful. So my doses were several times more than normal. And that stuff will enflame your intestines and cause your body to flush it out as a response. 2 days i was shitting like never before. The second day, i was dehydrating faster than i could hydrate. I remember Realizing it was serious when i was on the toilet again for the 5th time in an hour, and i hadnt been able to hydrate. I started seeing spots. My skin was torpid and i was getting tired, slurring my words. The bathroom door, was locked and i realized id be in SOMEONEs youtube video some day if i passed out lol
Go to tryfum.com/DANKULA and use code DANKULA to save an additional 10% off your order today.
7 days for a vid that came out 4m ago
dont delete me
Uploaded on the perfect time!
Huggbees video idea.
Make this a series
Funny thing about the dishonorable Viking dude that died to a Scotsman’s postmortem kiss was that he didn’t die in battle, thus forever barring his soul from entering Valhalla.
I didn't even look at this from the Vikings perspective
Based Scot managed to convince Odin to let him go back for 5 minutes to make sure that spineless fucker doesn't get a place in fulfilling the prophecy
Gonna nitpick here, but I'm not doing so maliciously: Valhal is reserved for some of the greatest warriors. Dying in battle wasn't enough. You had to basically be an avatar of war. Kept killing dudes after getting gutted/losing an arm kind of thing. Even then, the best of the warriors were picked first, and not by Óðinn. The Queen of the Valkyries, Bearer of Brisingamen, the Wise Witch, Noble Freya was granted first pick of the Glorious Dead and takes them to Folkvang. One can imagine that some warriors were better suited for Valhal and others for Folkvang.
There's this modern perception that Valhal is the only Germanic afterlife. There are actually quite a few. Helheim, for instance, is populated in part by those who died a 'straw death', which would be dying in your bed (beds were stuffed with straw). Even had he died in battle, what little we've been told leads me to believe he a) wasn't a great warrior and b) sought the easy way out. So nah, Valhal was out of reach no matter what.
Also, Ol' Bucktooth was a Pict, not a Scot. Similar people but that's like saying the Irish and Scottish are the same.
@@aethelfrithofbernicai don't know how true what you said is. I'm a skeptic, but a lazy one so I don't look into things a lot. But thank you for the comment. I might look into the after life of this culture. I'm not sure yet. Either way, very interesting stuff.
@@comradeurod9805I always knew the scots were g*y but now I have proof..
Don't forget the story of Jack Daniel ( the famous Whiskey distiller) who died after kicking his safe out of anger because he forgot the combination. He injured his big toe, it got infected, and he had to have his foot amputated. But the infection spread to his system and he died from these complications
I feel like it’s ironic that the thing that he died from… was a safe, turns out kicking it wasn’t very safe itself
I love a drop of jasper newton Daniel 's prize winning tipple but I do wish someone had invented the steel toe cap boot at the time
i love jack daniel's whiskey, i'll drink to him next time i have a shot lol
There is also a story that shouldn't be forgotten, the death of emperor Valentinian. While meeting with some Quadi envoys he was upset at their making excuses of Quadi raids he shouted at them to the point of suffering a stroke and dying.
It's a joke about Jack Daniels that if he had dipped his infected toe in his whiskey, he would've been saved!
I'm loving how Dankula is diversifying from Madlads with equally as interesting videos.
Naw. More madlads
I remember the time before madlads, just pure memery
could do without all the politics lately.
@@grendel1100 more politics
@@xedrickOGI A M T H E S E N A T E
Nothing will ever top the death of that one philosopher who laughed himself to death at the sight of a donkey eating figs.
That actually sounds great! I'd love to go out so happily entertained that it's not even possible to sustain life.
Ah, yes, Chrysippus. To be fair, he and the donkey were both drunk at the time.
I can see a euthanasia company.
You sit down.
They hand you some drinks…
Then you see drinks disappearing around the corner.
Then after you’re lit you see the donkey pop his head around and smile.
"GIVE HIM SOME WINE TO GO WITH IT! 🤣😂
*erk"*
@@rukus9585 Ever hear of coke?
I don't do it myself, but I hear it's a hell of a mood-boost... That could very well kill ya!
The "Windmill of peace" had me spit my drink out laughing.
Dont forget the lightning bolts of friendship
What's the windmill of peace?
@@johnmcmanus2447The swastika was once considered a symbol of peace until the 3rd Reich used it.
@@johnmcmanus2447the swastika
Braunau and its bearded people.......
Got to say, I was impressed by the sheer balls Charondas possessed. It isn't often regulators would be righteous enough to fall on their own swords to uphold the laws they make.
That's one way to look at it.
Should have been called Chadrondas.
@@stinkystink9830 IF you wouldnt do the same ur the problem bro
Quite literally fall on their own sword…Or dagger…
Got to say, there's pretty much nobody better suited than Dank to do a video on this subject, because he appreciates the dark humour in the absurdity of these deaths
Huggbees also did a video on this topic and it was hilarious, dank is also great for the topic too
Gay ass comment
Triple oxymoron, nice
@@feck7733I would love to see them do a collab. It would be nice seeing both styles riffing off each other.
Sam O'nella
On the subject I couldn't help but think of the greek dramatist, Aeschylus, the "father of tragedy", who died because an eagle dropped a turtle on his head.
mf got shelled like its mario cart
The last dude had absolute balls of steel and I respect that
He was dedicated to his job no matter what the cost! After slapping the king he could have apologised or attempted to talk his way out of it, but instead he doubled down - he'd scored the try and nothing was going to stop him getting the conversion. Absolute madlad.
This comment has more likes than the actual video wtf.
You like hard balls huh
@@devoteeofmediocrity821 No it doesn't.
Not that much balls if he asked said king to bail him out on his action against another noble
That last one is similar to the case we hear in the stories of Mathias Corvinus with his court jester. Apparently, when the jester got too spicey and crossed the line, Mathias proclaimed he never wanted to see his face again, so the jester turned around and bent over (turning his ass towards the king). The king got pissed and he sentenced the jester on the spot to hanging, but the jester pleaded to atleast be allowed to pick the tree from which to hang from. The king allowed him to make his choice, so the jester spent an afternoon scouring a forest with an armed escort, eventually settling on a shrubby little random tree that could, in no way or shape or form, hold his weight. When the guards led the jester back to the king he found the situation so damn funny he pardoned the jester.
Corvinus and his father Jan Hunyadi are perfect Mad Lad material
"All I'm saying is, repeat offending is down to an all-time low." -- Dracon of Athens, pre-laundrification
Draco
If 'laundrification' isn't a word, it should be
“No heads=no head”, can confirm, the misses uses this excuse everytime…
My uncle who was a bus driver passed away in his sleep. That's the way I want to go.
I definitely don't want to go screaming in terror like his 47 passengers.
Just recline the seat, put on a Dancula lullaby and go sleepy poo before going sleepy splat. Think people, think.
I read this while riding the bus lmao
a bus driver here in vegas just hit and killed a pedestrian a couple days ago. bus driver arrested for dui. for some reason i find it relevant lol
@@doncmith8564Was the pedestrian drunk too?
Fvck you for making me laugh at that.
"Hoogie boogie nordic names" cracked me up😂 Greetings from Hoogie Boogie Norway. Love your content🤘
Best regards. Hoogie Boogie Håvard
Its funny cause it's true.
Pi piru piru pi piru pi
@@thesteamguy6171 pi piru piru piru pi piru pi
First thing i thought of
Horrible histories
@@LilDefuseKit you get your citizenship revoked and kicked out of the country if it isn't
25:30 The funniest part about Garry Hoy was that he did everyone's favorite part of telling a joke, where you repeat it a second time even louder. In this case he actually ran at the glass and bounced off as expected, but then immediately got up and did it a second time, at which point the glass popped out and Garry fell to his death.
I wonder how much of this was caused by the fact he was probably did it regularly to the same window ? Like this was his big thing he liked to do for the new employees for a laugh
Anyone else notice how Dank's eyes glaze over when he's talking in the fum ads? You know he loves his hand rolls...
They don't call him Count Dankula for nothin💀
Fun fact about the Civil War death: at the time it was thought unlikely that a rifle could be deadly at a thousand yards away, in fact even today that's an impressive shot to make. However, the Confederates used the Whitworth rifle, an octagonally rifled gun that was possibly the first in the world to be reliably accurate at 1,000 yards.
The Forgotten Weapons video on the Confederate Whitworth and Witworth in general was fascinating. Despite costs being cut everywhere that wouldn't affect performance vs the standard Whitworth, they were still far and away the most expensive rifle in the CSA's arsenal, and they maximized their effectiveness by deploying small cadres of sharpshooters independently to link up with larger armies as needed.
Also, Joseph Whitworth created the first standardized model for types of screw, more or less invented mass production of planed surfaces, and popularized the use of engineer's blue.
Also Lincoln was president not Grant, he made a rare mistake.
Can’t believe no one has said: Fuck around and find out.
Most guns weren’t accurate at that range but there is such a thing as a lucky shot. Or a gun they may have not heard of? If I’m not to lazy I’ll edit this when I find out.
I remember the show 1000 Ways To Die and there was one episode where this guy who was camping and in a desperate attempt to get drunk he starting drinking gasoline which of course made him incredibly sick. He then proceeds to throw up into the fire and obviously you can guess what happened next. Definitely a Darwin Award worthy moment.
Oh how I loved that show 😂
Man, that show on Spike TV as well as Deadliest Warrior (season 1), MANSWERS, Takeshi Castle Dub, and Bar Rescue were the GOATS of their time.
You know, it's so funny you mention that. I remember one of a guy who hadn't had a shit for about a couple weeks and as he tried to push out a literal football sized turd, he pushed so much and so hard that he ended up having an aneurysm while on the toilet and died.
Another one involved a guy and bags of cinnamon only to choke himself to death from all the cinnamon particles in the air. I forget how the setup of that Darwin Award winner went, but it was just hilariously bad.
@@Labyrinth6000the glory days of SpikeTv. Great shit.
I miss those days
Can only imagine what would be written on their headstones.
“Hans honked and honked but the stupid tree wouldn’t move.”
My mom claims that one of our ancestors drowned in a barrel of beer. I dunno if this is true but if it is, at least the man died surrounded by the thing he loved.
A guy I went to school with died of something kinda stupid. A bloody nose...
After he graduated he got a job working construction. While framing a house he got a bloody nose. So he tilted his head back and started to go down stairs. Unfortunately the stairway he attempted to walk down had no stairs built yet, so he walked off a ledge and fell to the concrete below, where he died from the impact. I was friends with his brother and it was hell on him to lose his brother, who was only two years older. I remember the guy being a really good, friendly person too. It's a shame. I've almost died of stupid things multiple times too, but never a bloody nose.
The stupid part is that you’re meant to tilt your head forward, not back, so he wasn’t even blocking his vision for any good reason.
@@liquidsnakexyou dont dump back for the grinky glug?
@@namebrandlabel Of course not, all that does is ensure that it keeps flowing as long as possible instead of hitting a dead end and coagulating quickly.
@@namebrandlabelgrinky glug 💀
bro tried to walk past the cliff like Wile E. Coyote.
Ah, Death. It can happen anytime, at anywhere, when you're doing anything. Sometimes you don't even get to say anything. I'll never forget my dad's last words to me. He said, "Careful son, I think thats loaded."
Did ya old man a favour I think 😂
Punishing the Jester was seen as more of a sign of a tyrant rather than weakness I think
Same thing, tyrants are rarely actual strong people, usually just politically “strong”.
Look at the Austrian painter for example, he was a little weasel that would be absolutely boned without someone else around to protect him.
@@liquidsnakexand he really couldn't take a joke. 😂
@@dewolff6937 Yup, same thing happened as with Dank’s dog.
A Finnish man taught his dog the “salute” and moustache man had him arrested. Here we are nearly a century later and the British government are now trying to emulate him.
@@liquidsnakexwasn’t he also on so many substances he was like a spastic chicken?
@@Beepers559 I thought it was just meth but it’s hard to know for sure.
Look at what the gov/media/schools do these days... brazenly lying their ass off about stuff that happened a week ago, even when there’s 4K video evidence to the contrary.
The chances that they aren’t lying about at least some events that happened 80 years ago, are basically nil.
Franz was only given permission by the Police to use the tower because he said he'd be using a dummy as he had done in previous trials.
Dang....I thought that was CondorMan...
>he'd be using a dummy
he did :^)
When I was a teen in the early 90s one of my hobbies was disarming WW2 Ammo, Artillery shells, etc and after a few weeks blowing it all up together. My friends still talk about my famous Star Wars explosion. ( Don't do this at home kids, I knew what I was doing and you dont)
Brother I did the same thing. And I can say I didn’t know what I was doing. And no one probably does 😂
“Death is welcome.
For living forever sucks.”- longtime fan of Highlander
🎵 When out of mens hearts, all hate is gone, it is better to die than to forever live on... 🎵
@@potto1488Not me, I'll give living for a few centuries a try then I'll get back to you..
@@stephenpmurphy591let us know how WW3 happens yea
@@unappealingpig8592 Oh shite WW3...
@@unappealingpig8592you won’t have to live long to see how that one pans out…
As I recall, the parachutist had forgotten to account for the weight of the parachute itself in his calculations for the size of parachute required to slow his fall properly.
Crossing the pond to go see Dankula would be an amazing Christmas miracle.
27:07 - Cat piss has to be one of the worst smells on Earth that you'd put up with because you love the creature that made it
looking forward to the inevitable Scotsman vs Florida Man duel with Huggbees
Claymore vs Alligator
Bitter Cold vs Sweltering Heat
Heroin vs Heroin
This is the exact same thought I had when I saw this in my feed. I see we share the same entangled brain cell.
This made me laugh way more than it should have as a florida man myself.
Recently in my home country, a woman jumped off an office building trying to commit suicide. She ended up landing on an elderly lady, who ended up dying in the hospital. The one trying to off herself survived.
Imagine failing suicide so badly that you actually kill someone else? 🤣
Whoa-menz are worthless.
Out of everyone who has ever been afraid of mice in the history of the world, that woman has the best excuse.
4:55 Draco had that death by suffocation coming and one can only hope he was a victim of his own "dutch oven" (slang for flatulence odor intoxication in one's own bed sheets or blankets or clothes).
The guy with the bear either extremely overestimated his strength or highly underestimated the powef of a bear
Yes to both. Lol.
I knew a pastor years ago who told me a story about going to a carnival when he and his brother were teenagers. This would have been in the fifties. He said one of the carnies there had a declawed bear you could wrestle for money. The pastor and his brother were both big farmboys and high school wrestlers, so they thought they could win, especially when the carny said they could wrestle as a team. The pastor told me that the bear just manhandled them like children. He said he's never felt such power, and that any man thinking he could beat a bear in a fight is a fool.
The booze and bear incident reminds me of one of the few times I camped in an organized campground. My business partner and I went camping and fishing with some professional hockey player clients of ours. We were on the campground ranger's radar within minutes of arriving due to most of the hockey players having just recently purchasing all of their camping gear and all the packaging trash that was strewn around the campsite as we were setting up. We let her know that we will be picking all this up as soon as we get set up and she split. Later that evening she showed up again as we had our bar set up on one of the picnic tables and jumped our asses again. "You've got to keep all of that booze in the bear box. The bears around here are all alkies. They'll wound you for your food but kill you for that booze."
The Eiffel Tower flight suit from the twenties cracks me up, there’s even a little cloud of dust when he hits the floor 😂
Like Wile E. Coyote!
Hey Dank, I would honestly would love this to be a series.
One story I think you should cover in a sequel video should be the Gaston firework accident that happened at Disney World back in 2015.
Got stupid deaths from horrible histories playin right now in my head
hope next time its not you~
"OH SHUT UP LOUIS!!!"
Yeah but did you know the Romans had blacks in their garrisons? Stupid deaths, stupid deaths
"Well, that's the problem with eating curry as a skeleton, isn't it? ... It goes right through you."
I was thinking of the _Dumb Ways To Die_ song by Tangerine Kitty.
the story of the head biting his leg comes from the Viking guy being delirious due to his infection, he said it bit him.
The one thing I love about all of your videos is how you leave the dumb giggles in, you fully describe one of the worst things ever and giggle like naughty school kids in the back of the class 🤣 id love to see more of these, as I’ve been watching Huggbee’s series on the same thing, it’s such a ridiculous video topic I love it
It's so awesome seeing your channel grow after all you and your wife have been through. You two deserve much success! Cheers from Nevada, USA
I feel like Dancula planned this as a Halloween video but just wasn't conscientious enough to relaese it on time.
Its nice that i can come back to this channel and see fun content. That ruby ridge video was amazing
18:05 That laugh is why I want more Count Dankula content that is not just madlads.
Sedgwick's last words are my absolute favorite.
He was most likely, as in 99.9999% positively, shot with a Whitworth rifle which is a marvel of engineering made my an English chap named Joseph Whitworth. Whitworth is credited with standardizing thread patterns, a decent amount of machining and precision practices like triple ground plates, and the rifle was tested and fired by the Queen and smacked a fairly small target at a good distance (relative to the time period) on the first go of it. The rifle adopted due to cost and logistics (it used twisted bullets that matched the hexagonal twisted bore) but was used greatly by confederate snipers if they could get smuggled past the Union blockades.
It's interesting how much stuff the south bought from England, at one point the south was trying to buy a warship but had to go through an Egyptian company to buy it because the north told England they couldn't sell to the south, luckily the boat was not finished in time for the war
@@ViolentlyAmerican The last action of the Civil War took place in Liverpool Town Hall on 6 Nov 1865 with the surrender of the Confederate warship CSS Shenandoah. Shenandoah also fired the last shot of the war on 22 June 1865. There are some other Liverpool links to the War and the Confederacy:
The opening shot of the war was fired from a cannon manufactured on Lydia Ann Street in Liverpool
The Confederacy and the Union both had unofficial embassies in the city - both buildings are still there today
The Confederacy's most successful commerce raider, CSS Alabama was built in Liverpool and many of her crew were from the city.
The final lowering of the Confederate flag took place in the River Mersey on board CSS Shenandoah
Several dozen Confederacy ships (mostly blockade runners) were built in the city, and local yards also built ships for the Union. A number of vessels including a pair of advanced warships that were intended for the Confederacy were seized by the British Government and handed over to the Royal Navy. Britain didn't recognise the Confederacy but was officially neutral in the conflict, although pressure from the Union led them to seize vessels if they were shown proof that they'd been built for the Confederacy.
@@trolleriffic i have copied from the first article Google shows when you search about the British building confederate ships. Please try to at least Google before replying
James Dunwoody Bulloch, the Confederacy's chief foreign agent in Great Britain, led this effort to obtain Confederate ships in Liverpool. He particularly negotiated with John Laird Sons & Co. in Birkenhead, across the Mersey River estuary from Liverpool, to build warships for the South. British neutrality meant that warships could not legally be built in the country for either side, but Bulloch circumvented this problem by ensuring that the ships, while clearly designed for battle, were not actually fitted with armaments in Britain. Through this strategy, the ships could be presented as civilian vessels when they left British jurisdiction, but they would then travel to Terceira, a Portuguese island located in the North Atlantic archipelago of the Azores, where they were armed. Bulloch's subterfuge was blatant, but it successfully confused the legal definition of what could be defined a warship in Great Britain.
You and Huggbees should do a crossover event, he has a series on this very subject and it's HILARIOUS. Edit: He actually covers some of the same deaths like the greek who offed himself lol.
He covered the efurt latrine disaster one of his stupid deaths videos which Dank also did a video on.
Yeah, I think it'll do well. They were pretty funny together when Dank went on the official podcast.
I think their using the same wiki list of unusual deaths
“No heads, no head” is my new favorite quote
My dad new a guy that had retired from Boeing for about a week. He put a ladder up in his garage to ascend up into the loft. The ladder slipped out from under him. He smacked his face on the top rung and died instantly. Beware those grease spots on the floor my friends.
My dad's cousin fell off a scaffolding and died.
Worst part is he was only there to help his brother out.
Beware doing favours in dangerous environments, folks.
Sounds a little bit sus there bud don't ya think? That 100% could be a cover up/fabricated scenario. I bet he flew all those people on that list to Eggsteins Island of dirty little secrets.
My mum once told me of a thing that happened at her old workplace. Some guys were bringing in a massive, floor-to-ceiling safe when it began tipping forward. One of the guys ran forward to try and catch it; which to be fair, he did. But it didn't stop the fall of this ridiculously heavy safe. Cromch. He did not survive.
@@DDdreamer90 wow! I'm a steel worker (welder) I deal with very heavy objects all the time. If something is falling just get out of the way. These things are unforgiving. You have to just let them go. Run if you have to.
@@andrewniles1 They think he tried catching it out of reflex, without thinking about it. Something was tipping over, so he tried stopping it. It happened at an office building, so I guess the guy just didn't have enough kind of experience with heavy industry to react accordingly.
i find it funny that horrible histories could be another name for absolute mad lads
Perfect timing for a Dank video, I was just now struggling to find something interesting. You got it mate!
I just came off the Brexit Survival Guide video because I was perusing his old content waiting for the new one.
If been singing the Stupid Deaths theme song for 5 minutes straight now and will continue to do so for the next 5 days.... thank you 😂
I'm seeing major crossover between the Dankula/O'Nella/Whistler and Huggbees Cinematic Universes happening in the future.
It must be done.
Over watching the intro like "I wonder how many of these will come from the old Horrible History books?" Then you actually showed the reaper from the show. I bloody love you man xD
Dank. Here’s some suggestions for future videos...
Colton Harris Moore aka the Barefoot Bandit: Real Life GTA Character
Intelsat 708: when Communist China played Kerbal Space Program in real life
Mad Mike Hughes: Flat Earther that crash landed his homemade rocket
Colin McCrae: Scottish Rally Car Driver
Rainbow Farm Siege
Cokeville Hostage Crisis
Milton Bill Cooper: conspiracy radio host killed by the government
Mad Mike Hoare: Irish Mercenary
The Iran-Iraq War Swamp Electrocution
i love watching videos like this, because they help me overcome my embarrassment over my death.
Oh no. How did you die? I'm sorry it was embarrassing, but your name will be immortal :) God bless your soul.
@@SombreroPharoah Lets just say I had an accident at the diIdo factory, working as a crash test dummy
@@SauspremeYour job sounds like a real pain in the ass
I'm so glad Lord Miles isn't in this video, a couple months ago I would've sworn he would qualify.
He's still set on his Sentinel Island expedition so there's still hope for a future feature.
Jffry .... I don't understand your comment, my apologies. Are you saying he is pursuing content in regards too approaching the sentinelsse truthfully or is this just a sarcastic quip ?
@@kurtiscleary9759 Miles has said that he plans on going to the island dressed up in full plate armor and bringing coconuts as a bribe. You'll have to decide if he's serious or not, I can't tell.
@@kurtiscleary9759the person is saying they are glad Lord miles isn't dead, and that being in Afghanistan then the Afghan prison at the time, was dumb. But the poster is glad he isn't dead.
@@kurtiscleary9759 "There's still hope" was a joke.
Been waiting for something like this. Your humor and snarky comments first perfectly with this concept. Hope you and Sue are finding sleep.
8:27 So much for "they've got us surrounded, those poor bastards" 😊
The vast majority of these I've heard before - A lot of these I remember seeing on segments of "Stupid Deaths" on Horrible Histories
It was worth staying to the end for the “so I can fight you”
After listening to the one about the jester, you need to do one on Colonel Thomas Blood, the multi-time traitor, kidnapper, attempted thief of the British crown jewels, and the man who demanded to plead his case to the king and actually got off scott free for being such a mad lad.
Just want to say that anyone should be able to and everyone should be teaching their pugs the roman salute.
If they could teach the pug how to bark, "We who are about to die, salute you!" I'd be even more impressed!
Genetically breeding to end up with a particular patch of dark hair.. in a particular lip location lol.. in a particular 2D side view cube shape. That's some Dr Evil with a degree kinda work..
My spaniel follows the way of the Austrian painter who loved that salute 😅
yea like I love how bro went from pug nasi to this
why?
'Ain, are you hangin' around the shitting log? Hoogey boogey Nordic names'
I'm done LOL 😂
I’m glad my favourite childhood show is continuing 🖤
Thousand Ways to Die, best reality show
Stupid deaths horrible history uk childhood classic
"Death is the only thing that brings me joy in life..."
-Bilbo Baggins
Now I want to see a proper EFAP x Count Dankula crossover.
Ok, Dildo. Thanks for that.
Danks, the story about Valerian being forced to swallow Molten Gold is most likely a complete invention by Lactantius, to turn the whole ordeal into an (almost biblical) Morality tale (based on the expression "Silenteum est Aureum").
I didn't hear him say that's what killed him, just mentioned it was an option
@@CalsGirl97 Yes, and I'm pointing out where that particular story came from, and the most likely reason why it exists in the first place.
I'm not saying (nor implying) Mark got anything wrong, just adding some context to that part of Valerian's (possible, but unlikely) history.
The exact same thing happened with Crassus. They said he had molten gold poured down his throat, though it's more likely he was just decapitated.
“Windmill of peace” 😂
That’s a new one
There's so many of these kinds of deaths due to stupidity. This needs to become a series.
I would recommend you 1000 ways to die, its an old show that touched on that topic.
@Labyrinth6000 I used to frequent the Darwin Awards website too. Great place for research if you want to make a series about Dumb Deaths.
Congratz Dank. This is the first time I've ever bought a YT ad product!
Was just looking for something to listen to while working. Thanks Daddy Dank ❤❤
My personal strange death i learned of was the inventor of the brasin bull was immediately used as the test subject to show that it works
"Harsher punishments usually meant fewer criminals"
And the modern west took the opposite approach
But then you realize they used horrible deaths for political prisoners with wrong think and stuff. So it also stifles anyone speaking up.
Carry the one... Add the zero.... Yeah math checks out
They tried the other approach in medieval/industrial England and France for example and actually didn’t do all that much to reduce crime
Well there can't be criminals if there are no laws for them to break
Then you realise the nation with the most murders has the death penalty and prison for life without parole.
The only thing that corolstes absolutely with less crime is less things being illegal, crazy.
I appreciate the reference to ''The Norsemen''. Truly one of my favourite shows for some reason.
The title has me singing the stupid deaths song from Horrible Histories, just excellent.
That jester was an absolute mad lad!
At 7:16 😂😂😂😂😂 As a Scandinavian, i approve of this joke😂😂 "Hoogie Boogie Nordic Names"🤣
Jesters were also the ONLY people able to deliver bad news to the king w/ out fear of being punished
They were the REAL advisors
"Life sucks, then you die." - Theme for this video
Thank you, I forgot most of these (I watched many of them on “Ripley's Believe It or Not!” the TV show and other places. Absolutely love them
I’m here for more morbid curiosity themed videos. Make it a sub-series Dank, you are gifted in traversal of the abyss 🦑👀
You got me to subscribe with that funny ass Swedish accent. Bravo dude
Darwin awards from the early internet years, but now with 100% more Scotland.
So i can fight you!!! Hilarious! I just love the delivery, absolutly classic! Keep up the great work
My favorite darwin award (which is a website from the 90s that tracks silly deaths) has to be the Australian couple.
A couple left a bar and found the street to be quite comfy. So much so, that one thing led to another, and the people outside the bar got a full show. Now, the audience did shout at them to get a room and other things, but the couple were too drunk, too into it, and too full of themselves. So much so, that the bus that smashed right into them did not see, nor hear them. The driver thought they were trash on the road.
A few other ones.
The German plastic puppet man. A gay man wanted to gyrate up and down a large wooden stick. So he constructed a device out of German latex, and wore the suit. His testing proved quite pleasurable, perhaps too pleasurable. The stick went straight through his body when physics decided that the force that ripped through the latex was enough to make him impaled.
The chainsaw farmers. A pair of farmers decided to get drunk and then do stunts of bravery. One man lopped off his arm. The other decided that was for pussy, so lopped off his head.
The honorable mentioned poop drowning. A new zoo keeper who worked with animals did not realize that poop under the hot African sun tends to bake, but only on the surface. So he climbed up a ten foot tall poop pile, thinking it could support his weight. It did not. He managed to escape before dying.
Holy crap. I'm not even halfway through. This is nuts, dude. Great vid!
Omg it’s Dank’s horrible histories. Love it
"Sometimes its the little things that get you", so funny thank you much for that dark humor .
I love mad lads but these compilation vids recently have been great. Definitely do more on crimes/mistakes/accidents. 😅
13:58 deserves an award for writing, editing and delivery. 🏆🎗🙏
That took a while for me to gain composure Dank.
I actually knew the Sigard one🤣I think its possible from the swinging motion due to running the teeth could've impaled his leg making look as if it "came to life" though rubbing those nasty nashers absolutely would've been enough to give him an infection. Lmao idk I kinda like the idea of him carelessly galloping along and that head getting one last "bite" in due to his own stupidity by letting it swing into him like that😂
Surely we're being class-ist here...the man just set the traditional standard for teeth in the UK...
I’ve been enjoying your content for years, saw you and Sue have a family…it’s just an absolute pleasure watching your videos. 👍🏻💯
After hearing about the mouse one I've developed a new phobia
The guy who died because of the mouse is the one that shook me the most. That's some painful death I do not want to endure.
The last time i tried Keto, i might have almost made it on this list lol
I was taking some of that mct oil in my coffee.
In my pot of coffee. Just a 5 second tight squeeze of it every day for a week. And it was a baaaaad week. It was like Montezuma's revenge, turbo edition.
Turns out, youre supposed to ease into the stuff, and only have a spoonful. So my doses were several times more than normal. And that stuff will enflame your intestines and cause your body to flush it out as a response. 2 days i was shitting like never before. The second day, i was dehydrating faster than i could hydrate. I remember Realizing it was serious when i was on the toilet again for the 5th time in an hour, and i hadnt been able to hydrate. I started seeing spots. My skin was torpid and i was getting tired, slurring my words. The bathroom door, was locked and i realized id be in SOMEONEs youtube video some day if i passed out lol
Those near-death shits really are quite the experience.
" He wanted to make the bear pay." Both ominous and ridiculous at the same time 😂
If I lived in that time, and people started dancing to death, I'm 100 percent believing it's the devil or a which 😂
I'm asking them where they got their drugs.
That Jester was a legend. Could you imagine him performing modern stand up comedy
I couldnt imagine hating someone so much that you trun them into a scarecrow. 😅