What do you want me to cover next?! Leave me all the comments! and thank you to Scentbird! Use SWOOP6 to get 55% off your first month at Scentbird sbird.co/3ufvdUN
Please please please cover the story of miiasauras. I’m so confused and I can’t find her videos anywhere and I think you would BEAUTIFULLY put that “story” together.
There needs to be a class in school where all the kids learn is "If an adult tells you to keep it a secret, tell another adult" over and over again starting in preschool
there are child advocacy groups that will come to schools to teach things like this, but its not standard or provided by the school. at my child's school, theres a group that teaches children about knowing which adults are "safe adults" and not keeping body secrets, etc. (starting in kindergarten) you're right though, we should be better equipping our children :(
I remember as a kid in elementary school, we had to read these little comic informational books about topics like this. Inappropriate touching from adults, how to find safety from them, drugs, etc. We definitely need to reintroduce/start these conversations again. Too many children going through abuse.
YES and if an adult says to you they want to go to your room with you and “play a game” TELL SOMEONE bc it’s not a game, it’s where they begin the abuse..
@@krystinaxxlea I think it was drowned out by media focusing on the negatives about them. Constantly gossiping about EDs, etc. They all get the treatment of “just another child star snapping”. But never about the treatment that caused the snap.
@@krystinaxxlea they’ve spoken up about it in later years. How they wouldn’t wish their childhood on anyone. They’ve spoken about times where they were so exhausted from working and how people would just tell them do it one more time because it would make everyone else SO happy. It’s scarily similar to what Jeanette is talking about, the difference being that they litterally grew up in that environment. Also- don’t blame yourself for being obsessed with them, that was Litterally their whole thing! It wasn’t until years after they stopped acting that they spoke about how they hated their childhood
@@casrrole omg!!! Thank you for replying with such detail I appreciate it! That's all so heartbreaking, it's so messed up. People wonder why child celebrities go off the deep end, I mean Aaron Carter Shia LaBeouf that Cory guy from that's so raven I forget his last name, Amanda Bynes Demi Moore Drew Barrymore Lindsay Lohan I mean the list just goes on and on. It makes you Wonder what was the difference between them and people like Hilary Duff Mandy Moore Keke Palmer Vanessa Hudgens Josh Peck and a few handful of others did to not end up that way. It definitely makes me worry for the new generation coming in like the stranger things cast, like the countdown to millies bobbybrowns 18 birthday was identical to all the count downs for all the teenage girls 18th birthday in the 2000s it just as disgusting and disturbing now as it was then. I feel like there needs to be an up roar to insure these young kids are properly protected now. We've seen to much bad shit happen when bad people run the entertainment industry, behind closed doors their dangerous and the young actors pay the price for our entertainment without our knowledge of what's actually happening. They made us complicit without being made aware which I hate.
@@krystinaxxlea i honestly think the difference would be the parents? I can’t say for sure for all of them but I know keke palmer grew up in a rather normal environment and that it was her own request to get into acting and no one pressured her to keep going, you know? Like I’m sure she’s got a few stories to tell aswell but if you have a support system at home it’s much easier to go through those feelings instead of having to hold them in until you break. Idk im just guessing but I do think it’s very sad that so many children end up having severe trauma from their time as child actors. It’s honestly something I wouldn’t want anybody to experience
The fact that Jenette's mother insisted on bathing her well into her late teens is somehow even more disturbing when you also know that in the show iCarly, the character of Freddy is also forced to be bathed by his mother, but in the show it's played for laughs how overly controlling his mother is. On top of that, Jenette's character Sam frequently makes fun of Freddy for the way his mother treats him.
Most likely the show writers had some idea of what was going on in real life, and thought it was so funny that they _"just had to"_ incorporate it into the show somehow. This is literally nothing new. Show writers often pull upon situations from their own lives to write into the show for content. Mike Scully, one of the writers for The Simpsons, wrote his experience of shoplifting as a child into the show and gave birth to the episode "Marge Be Not Proud". The head writer on The Brady Bunch would use stories his daughter told him about what was going on at school for episodes centered on the Marsha Brady character, and did this for several years before his daughter had to confront him and tell him, "My life is not fodder for your TV show" before he stopped. Jeanette was a child when filming iCarly, so she was not directly (or even indirectly) responsible for what the writers, director, or whomever added into the show - and given what we know about Dan Schneider and her mother, she most likely would not have been able to speak out about it without the threat of losing her job, and the possible "punishment" (read: abuse) that would follow.
@@cannibalisticrequiem of course she's not responsible in any way and couldn't safely speak up about it, and of course writers use what they know and often take from real life. I'm saying that it's disturbing that Jeanette had to act out scenes in which her character was making fun of the same thing that was happening to her privately. Really disturbing. It's already bad enough that all the clearly abusive behaviour from his mother that Freddy had to endure in the show was used for comedic effect at all.
Dan Schneider is STILL working in the industry. He was not canceled, he just slunk into the background and anyone who has done the things that he has done should have faced greater consequences.
Crosby was put in jail for doping a woman this guy had been doping and giving alcohol to minors he needs to be in jail he completely created suggestive p*** of minors.
Imagining being pressured to be skinny and having an ED, and then playing a character that's obsessed with food. Having it acknowledged physically, verbally or otherwise so frequently. That must have been a nightmare.
An unimaginable level of Cognitive dissonance and Shame it must have caused, on top of being parentified (made to feel like her responsibility was to financially take care of her parents) while also being forced into a coercively controlled child role. Constant emotional turmoil and confusion where dissociation was her only way out of the corner she was locked in by the person that was supposed to make her feel safe.
The fact that Miranda Cosgrove was basically the 'it' girl at Nickelodeon at that point, but was so genuine and down to earth. Gives you a little faith in humanity.
To those who haven't yet read the book, I HIGHLY recommend the audiobook that Jennette narrates herself. Having her tell her own story with her own inflections makes the story that much more captivating and emotional
Also, I feel like not enough people mention that not only were the kids homeschooled, but her mother was a severe hoarder, to the point that Jennette, her three brothers, her mother, and her grandparents all slept in the living room because their rooms were too full of junk
Before reading your comment, I was thinking "I really want the audio book, I really hope she narrates it herself" hah! it's gotta be that much more powerful. Thanks for the info.
@@maekyla_ it’s very moving. She has a very distinct way of writing, which really reflects her speech, so the way she’s delivering the words you kind of forget you’re listening to a book and not just someone tell their life story. She also gets choked up a few times, and it really hits hard
@@Lex_brooke yeah, her mother absolutely had undiagnosed mental health problems. I don’t know what those problems were exactly but I think there was a family history of OCD because her own grandfather even tried to get her mother to see that Jeanette was maybe suffering from OCD. And then after her mother died we learn that her (maternal???) grandmother is a total controlling piece of trash/narcissist. And maybe her mother also had issues concerning hypersexuality (???-I’m guessing considering what came to light after her mom died). Her mother was a fucking nightmare who abused everyone in her vicinity, but I think if someone had just forced her into getting some help for her mental health through medication and intense therapy at some point a lot of this bullshit could have been avoided.
So interesting being an early 90s kid, growing up and hearing all these teen stars having 'breakdowns' or 'addictions' and being called crazy or ungrateful, and now that many of them have grown up and recovered, they're finally able to properly speak out without being afraid or being shouted down. Now we wait another twenty years for the kids of family vlogs to do the same thing.
Family vlogssss😮😮😮 I got in a fight with a girl I was in high school with because she had her daughter as a super provocative model because she had a clothing line and thousands of her photos online by the time she was 5... It wasn't usually appropriate looking photos
The last time MY mom said "it'll be our secret" was when she was asking me to piss into a ziploc so she could pass a drug test for CPS. The last time my dad said "it'll be our secret" was when he was volunteering to drive me to/from things, just so he could stop at gas stations and get alcohol to drink while driving since he wasn't allowed to do so at home. Parents SHOULD NOT be using their children to "keep secrets." If an adult is telling you "it'll be our secret" don't fall for it. Unless it's about, say, a surprise party or a gift for someone.
Miranda didn't know everything much at all. She said that if you were a kid, you don't always have the perspective that others can be handling things worse than you. Which is what I agree with, that most kids don't tend to have this perspective.
Just a quick side note about the book cover: I love the use of pink. It was Debra's favorite color and she forced Jennette to have it as hers too. So the pink urn and the font just come off as a specific finger to her mother
Maybe her mom was a fan of Dolly Parton too cause she’s the reference for the book cover, her Jolene single cover art has the same format Jennette was inspired to use
This video actually helped me... I called the hotline number for SA victims and now I might recieve free trauma therapy... to swoop, I love you and thank you for helping me so much.
You’ve taken such an important first step toward healing, and that alone takes so much bravery and strength. I don’t know you, but I am *so* proud of you. I’m wishing you all the best, and hope that you continue to heal and find peace.
I grew up believing that setting boundaries was a betrayal to my mother. She would sit in the bathroom while I showered until I moved out. I had to sit in the bathroom when she showered. She didn’t wear clothes very often. I’m glad my dad was in the house, because she was very adamant that he not see us in any state of undress. To this day, at 46, I still have problems with setting boundaries. I still do not view my body as my own. My mother brought us up thinking that we belonged to our husbands. I’m on husband number 3. This one has helped me to set boundaries. He has also helped me to go no contact with her as well. I send hugs to anyone who has ever been abused. I brought my kids up to know that no one has the right to see, touch, anything any part of them that they did not want.
I feel u, my mom forced me to shower with her sometimes and I was extremely uncomfortable. She also touched me to check if my body was healthy, even tho we could have went to the doctors or I could have checked myself. Now I just don't know how to say no when people are getting too close, since these boundaries never existed in my home.
this sounds like covert inc*st, in case you havent heard of it. aside from that, i'm glad that you have a partner now who is helping you recover. sending love your way from another survivor ♡
My mom was always thinking the worst of me and always scared me with similar behavior. She would accuse me of doing things that I didn’t even understand and would inspect my room, body, and my clothes. I grew up so scared and confused w/out knowing anything about puberty because I was too scared to ask her cause of her accusations. As an adult she tried to control me further and have a say in my ovaries and would constantly tell me to wrap it up when I was a MARRIED WOMAN and since I grew up “religious” I thought she was against protection but now all the sudden she pushes it on me? I had to go to therapy and that’s where I found out she put me in a horrible situation due to her self interest. Took me 25 yrs to realize how evil and disgusting she truly is and I had to go no contact. She will never meet my baby angel that’s on the way.
On MDSA, I remember telling my older brother about my experiences like this. Except my mom was a nurse and we were student athletes, so that was the excuse she had to look at my "body composition". The way Jeanette describes how she felt when her mother touched her, I've never heard anyone else describe how I feel. Anyway, when I told my brother about it and how I felt violated among the other things she did. He said "but it wasn't sexual/ she was just looking/ She's your mom." Despite how she did similar things to him. And so Jeanette speaking out about this has been incredibly validating.
I read her book, it was hardcore. her mom was AWFUL. the fridge incident made me realize how entitled she was. she called jennet so many names after finding out she had a boyfriend, then said she was not her mother anymore and ended the email with an "send money to a fridge, ours broke". like EXCUSE ME?
It was heart wrenching, mind boggling and insane but its a VERY good book to learn from! It can be a case study and guidebook for child stars! That mama....and not to mention her grandma (the unofficial catalyst) were pieces of WORK!
Jeanette is an incredibly brave human being. On my own personal level, I just blocked my own mother for ... reasons ... this book completely validated my own trauma and feelings. I am not alone. We are not alone 💙 much love
“Reports filed for years….” Wow, Nickelodeon and USA Gymnastics are on the same level of dumpster fireness. Ignoring complaints of abuse for money, medals and whatnot… 🤦♀️
For me, the biggest sign of growth is that Jennette admitted during the book’s promo tour that a return to acting is not out of the question. But that it’d have to be on HER terms.
Apparently she’s an incredible director, too. I haven’t seen any of her work because I think they were all smaller, more personal projects but I have a friend who worked with her and said she was a natural. I think Shayne from Smosh also worked with her on the same project. Probably feels really good to direct for her, rather than being directed like she was on set and at home.
When my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, she was worried about my sisters and me getting breast cancer. Instead of creepy groping, my mom had all three of us feel the tumor in her breast so we'd know what to look for when we did our own breast exams.
Was abused by my mother as well. She used to make me talk "dirty" on the phone ☎️ to her boyfriends when I was 12/13. I was also very religious and "obey thy parents " was a HUGE thing! That added to my confusion 😕 .
I’m glad you call out that Jeanette was sexually abused. I feel like most of the other things I’ve watched and read about her book don’t come out and say that.
I think because it’s super confusing. Like, absolutely it is sexual abuse but for those who are privileged and never had to spend a moment’s thought in this area, it’s difficult to come to terms with maybe...? When I was listening to that part of the book I was thinking it was super fucked up that her mom did that but then brain tried to reason it out-which I very much know is fucked up because regardless of her mothers actual motives it was still sexually abusive. I spent time wrestling with the label (which again, I admit is very much correct-she was sexually abused) I sort of think others are also sort of working out what the fuck happened as well. I had to look past what her mother’s alleged intentions were. Even though it is possible for those intentions to be pure ( I don’t think that was the case)-perhaps her mother really was super terrified her children would get cancer too and she wanted to make sure it was caught early-she did these cancer checks in the worst fucking way possible and ended up sexually abusing her kids in the process.
@@PennyPennyPennyPennyPenny you are right! I was doing the same thing when I first heard it too. Trying to make it make sense somehow, but it just doesn’t!! Poor Jeanette.
@@PennyPennyPennyPennyPenny Let's re-write your first sentence Not being sexual abused is not "priviledged" it should be the normal standard not seen as a priviledge.
@@zappers8027 jus because it shouldnt be, doesnt mean it isnt. it is 100% a privilege to not even think about this kind of stuff. my bf was one of those people till he met me. most men are.
"Have you read the book?" has taken on a new meaning beyond movie adaptations. Several commentary channels have made videos on the same topic, and it was clear they had only seen clips of interviews/read articles marketing the book. Thank you for really getting into the work rather than just reporting on the headlines. This is important stuff, and we need to have meaningful conversations about these topics.
yes! after reading the book myself i was excited to see my fave commentary channels talking about it as well… only to find out they could only regurgitate the headlines and were left with questions that were LITERALLY answered as plain as day in the book
I mean, this has *always* been important beyond movie adaptations. Just look at the book Lolita. I got *suspended* in high school for “having material that promotes paedophilia.” Anyone who thinks that book is actually promoting it either never read it or clearly didn’t have the capacity to understand it, and because of that you often can’t read this literal classic book without being labeled as a paedo.
actually, it seems swoop hasn't read the book either, since she only gets into quotes from articles rather than the book itself. i read the book and there were multiple quotes that would've added to the points she was making so i think it's a shame
I mean my library has over a thousand holds on the book and the likely estimate wait time for the book when I put my hold on it was 3 months so it’s not an easy book to read if you don’t have the ability to buy it
I can empathize with that. I recently had a situation where I figured out that a friend of mine is a narcissist. And they kept tearing into me over things that were beyond my control, and I felt awful and had no clue how to deal with it. Then a friend of mine mentioned that he’s a narcissist, and it all clicked. I like to see the good in everyone, and I haven’t dealt extensively with anyone who is a narcissist. I did not have the tools to fight him. I ended up having to block him, for my own sanity
It's shit like this is why I strongly dislike the phrase "Respect your elders". You shouldn't respect someone who abuses you simply because they're older than you.
My mom used to examine me after baths when I was younger. I remember one time she did something that really hurt me and she apologized so fiercely and cried and held me saying she would never do it again. It always felt wrong, but it wasn't until that moment it clicked that what she was doing was wrong. It wasn't until maybe 2 years ago that I thought on it again and came to the realization that my mother SA'd me. This part of the doc was so helpful and so needed. Thank you for shining a light on this as it's not talked about the way it should be
My mother tried to put me into the entertainment business when I was only 15, I was not having it. I’m now 31 and refuse to talk to her still. Just because someone is family doesn’t mean they belong in your life. ALWAYS PUT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH FIRST
Always put your mental health first because literally no one else will, then those same people who wear you down will then abandon you when you crash and need the support. So yeah.
@@jesslee7985 and have the fkn audacity to act like you're unhinged or wronged them some how 🙄😭 they will literally push you over the ledge and be like "why tf are you falling" shts wild frfr
@@GaryThaSnail777 and THEN have the audacity to come crawling over and act like everything they put you through never happened when you start getting money and/or your life is getting better like nah it’s better cause you ain’t in it🙄
@@cgr4484 yesssss!!! My mama has literally told me so many times, "I'm the parent and you're the child it doesn't matter what I say to you you have no right to talk to me like you do regardless of what I say" when I come to her about stuff she said to me that really bothered me and hurt me. Like girl I'm 30 damn years old I'm not a child anymore 😒🤣 it's just crazy how they'll try to make it out that you're being disrespectful when really all you're doing is setting boundaries for yourself with them
@@GaryThaSnail777 it’s extremely sickening and toxic when they use the “parent card” and say you’re disrespecting them when you’re just trying to explain how you’re feeling and how what they are doing is being hurtful. Don’t even get me started on when you make a point and they’re clearly in the wrong and flip the tables on you with the “disrespecting your parents” card😒
I'm glad that our generation is FINALLY opening the toxic parents " pandora box " - we might actually break generational curses and heal from those traumas. I hope Jenette McCurdy continues to heal and take care of herself (and I'm kinda scared and worried for her... because you know, exposing Hollyweird never ends well..) Thanks Swoop for this amazing breakdown 💙
Doubt it…cause 1) toxic parents aren’t a new issue and 2) society will ALWAYS put parents on a pedestal. Let’s be real, if Jennette was a nobody and average her story wouldn’t be making rounds.
@@izzylandyt Hi. Toxic parents aren't a new issue, I agree but more and more people are coming upfront to share their stories on social and mainstream media. It's a huge step. I know the changes won't happen overnight but each (baby) step is important. And society is made of people. If people are willing to change (it) then there's still hope.
"our generation is FINALLY opening the toxic parents "pandora box" " Me: *thinks about all the fairytales where the actual blood related parents are abusive*
As someone who often ended up being the shoulder to cry on for my parents, I feel for Jennette when she said she wanted to keep her mom happy. I often felt like I was the only one who could keep peace in my family, and I was left to deal with their issues as if they were my own. It's an awful thing to feel like you are responsible for your parents' well-being
People complain former child stars snapping and acting out, and yet they refuse to see how much of a pattern this has become. Lindsey Lohan, Britney Spears, the Olsen Twins, Macaulay Culkin-just to name a few.
I completely agree, I've been observing this for years. When people start to realize that the parents hand wrapped their kids as gifts for that perverted industry. The sad thing is after all the cautionary tales there are still parents waiting to sign their kids up for that horrible industry. Fame should be a choice when you're old enough to make that decision for yourself.
When parents want their kids to go into acting, it can be the most horrible thing to watch. I used to work as a makeup artist on short films and on one of the sets, we had a boy and his mom there for the shoot. The mom was obsessed with telling everyone all the shows her son had acted in. While on set, she got an email for her son to go to an audition to be in a commercial for Tim Hortons (I’m in Canada). She went crazy, telling everyone what had just happened. When her son came back from set, she told him, all excited, that it was this weekend and she was so excited! Her son straight up told her no, I want to go see my friends and play this weekend. But the mom was like no you have to go to this, you can play with them at school. I can just imagine how much resentment her son had for her, and part of me wonders where he ended up in live.
Not every situation is like this (thank God) but you can tell these type of parents don't see their children as children but as cash cows and *_their_* chance to finally 'make it big'. It's fucking gross.
I think Jeanette mentions it in her book, but most child actors don't _stay_ actors once they aren't children anymore. It's pretty rare for a child star to continue into adult/professional acting.
I had an aunt that refused to let her kids watch Nickelodeon and Disney channel, as a kid i never understood why she said it was full of evil but damn... Yeah. Sorry Aunty 🤣🙃
I mean, SpongeBob was incredible and a lot of cartoons from Nickelodeon were great, and nothing to miss out on. I recommend you check out the old episodes of SpongeBob, and maybe also CatDog, Robot & Monster, The Angry Beavers, and Doug. Hey Arnold isn't really for everyone but it tackles serious issues more than a lot of cartoons do. Those are some high quality cartoons right there, and it's a shame that they also blended in on the same network with crap like iCarly and Sam & Cat. Also, Disney channel had some bad sitcoms but they were no where near as bad as Nickelodeon. Disney also tend to have way more family values in their shows than Nickelodeon did, they tried to be more family friendly, and they also did try and treat their stars a little better (other than Demi Lovato, who got the wrong end of the deal). Personally, I'd rather let my kid watch a Disney channel sitcom, like Good Luck Charlie or Suite Life, rather than one of their sexist overrated princess movies from 50 years ago. If you ever want to give one of those sitcoms a try, I recommend most of them, the only ones I don't recommend are Lab Rats and Jessie. I mean, I wouldn't go as far as to saying it's full of evil, but I knew exactly what she meant. Personally, i grew up with mostly Qubo and Sprout, so I understand that those were way better than Disney or Nickelodeon, but that doesn't mean that Disney and Nickelodeon were all full of awful shows.
@@jocelynecupcakeright before my mom passed away she got really into Hey Arnold. She’d try to get me to watch it with her but I was always reluctant. Wishing now that I did! She is very reminiscent of Jeanette’s mom, but I have the amazing opportunity of getting my closure before she unexpectedly passed. Wish I sat down and watched Hey Arnold with her! Definitely a show that tackled a lot of important issues for kids.
It’s so hard to look back at iCarly fondly - even though Jeanette was an idol to myself and many others - it’s heartbreaking to discover the hell she had to endure on the show and elsewhere in the industry - glad to know she’s happier now 💛✨
“I felt like wanting any boundary was a betrayal of her”- man I feel the in my core. I really appreciate jennette speaking up because although my situation was nothing compared to hers, there has been clear abuse that I never could make sense of until being shown directly “hey this happened to me and it was super fucked up”
i know it's been 10 months since u commented this but i just want to say there's no reason u have to say ur situation wasn't as bad . pain is pain and it fills you up evenly . comparing trauma isn't helpful to you , you deserve to be taken seriously - for every story there is one more shocking and disgusting and it wouldn't have made any of the ones told before "better".
I’m so glad my mom was aware of the dangers of disordered eating. When I suffered from anorexic tendencies, she noticed and got me help. People knowing more about eating disorders and the dangers is so SO important. Knowing how they can help is equally as important.
honestly some, i wouldn’t agree with mines approach, she’d make me sit at the table until 9 (if didn’t eat, it’d be my breakfast.) she’d tell me to take at least one bite, then can go to bed. then further and further. it was horrible t the time, but to imagine how bad it could’ve gotten, it’s probably better she did it that way.
Dan Schneider looks like that creepy old dude that hangs around all the high school parties because people his age know he’s a loser. He likes the power he has over children. Also, Swoop I love your docs. Informative but also hilarious. 😂
That's exactly how I'd describe him. Him and the creator of Ren & Stimpy (also a p*dophile) should be locked up in a prison cell and given NO FOOD! If they wanna eat, their can eat each other!
Swoop did a great job outlining EDs, but I want to piggyback on what she said and also highlight that B*nge Eating Dis*rder (BED) without the purging aspect (b*lemia) is a very real thing and affects a lot of people as well. It wasn't recognized as an ED until more recently (2012, I believe) and it isn't really talked about in media, but it's very real. I never thought that I had an ED as I was growing up because I was over-eating and overweight, but I was just as preoccupied with my physical appearance and weight as someone with an*rexia or b*lemia would have been. As Swoop said, living with an ED is hell, and I still struggle with not blaming and hating myself every day. If you have a tendency to eat large quantities of food in a very short time, eat secretly, feel immense shame around eating or your size - but you're not emaciated - you may still have an ED. And there is help and resources. ❤️
Thank you for this comment!! 🙏🏼 I struggle with this, it is a shame it's not talked about as much.. I remember being a kid and feeling so embarrassed to ask for food at a friend's or family friend's house, I hated eating around others especially the places I just mentioned. I also would get bored and just start eating, it started happening alot when I turned 11, at that time I was going through a growth spurt and would eat anything in the house but it got worse over time. Once I was a teen probably 15 or 16, I would start starving myself all day and I would only snack on granola fruit bars, (whenever I decided to come out of my room), one summer the only thing I would think about eating was the granola bars, I'd have 3 a day, and water, all summer.. I still felt disgusted with myself, like I was extremely overweight whenever I looked in the mirror or a picture not taken by me. I looked back on photos of me then and I didn't appear to be overweight at all. After that summer tho the starving would continue but then I would give into food again and eat until I felt I couldn't, (i didn't purge tho) but i would feel so much pain from being too full, and then it would go back to starving again and the cycle of that still continues.. I'm trying to work on it though.
Yes I know because I knew that purging can ruin ur esophagus and teeth. I couldn't purge after that and even stopped my cousin from purging. She is still struggling with eating tho. She doesn't like feeling full like Jennette said.
@@babiegat oh God the embarrassed to ask for food part is so real. Because so many times adults don't realize but end up criticizing our normal eating. And that ends up making is hyper aware of how we eat around people,even having shame around that. I'm sorry u had to go thru that. No person should have to. Cause eating gives us nutrition,energy and dopamine at times. You shouldn't feel ashamed of fulfill ur need. Or be shamed for not eating enough.
I put on 40lbs over 2 yrs n when I went to visit my in-laws I couldn’t help but notice my MIL only ever offered my husband breakfast and dessert 😆 I actually was floored when it became obvious
As a fat person who has struggled with ED their entire life, I wanna thank you for pointing this out. It seems like no one really cares about someone struggling with an eating disorder when you're fat: they congratulate you and push you harder instead. Most of the symptoms of ED listed in the doc just describe diet culture as a whole. It's toxic and needs to stop.
Miranda did say in an interview that she didn’t know as a kid. Ariana probably didn’t know either cause she was doing other stuff. Besides that they didn’t get alone during their time at first. However I’m glad Dan is getting the bad rep being spread. I did know about the nasty thing he did behind sets & to his cast which was disgusting
Ariana has always rubbed me the wrong way because she has never spoken on anything despite the fact that her character was probably the worst one of all. I think she wants to separate herself but at the same time fees indebted to Nickelodeon. Or maybe she just took the hush money.
@@mellyr2584 you’re spreading rumors. she was sexualized same as the rest of them, lost mac, went through a terrorist attack-everyone heals in their own way. I can’t fathom why you act like spreading shit like this brings you gossip-joy.
@@mellyr2584 Ariana didn’t care as long as she benefitted from it. She didn’t care about the abuse and unfair treatment cause she was treated better and made more money for being favored. “What a friend” 😑
I am a victim of mdsa. I'm leaving out a lot of details for my own peace of mind. I ran away from home last November 6 and when through the long legal battle to try to get justice. I screamed when I found out "there wasn't enough evidence and the case would be dropped. I turned 17 5 days ago. even when reported, who's gonna believe a mother would abuse her daughter.
I used to watch nickelodeon all the time as a kid. its absolutely disgusting to think of all the evil behind the scenes. I feel for the kids that had to endure it. I hope they heal.
I also would like to say that cancer is absolutely not something I wish on anyone. However if anyone was to pass away of it, it should be abusers. My mothers abuser passed from brain cancer and I can’t say I wasn’t happy when he did, he terrorised us for years and got away with it rather easily. God knows how many more women he abused before he passed.
@@izzylandyt im sorry you had to go through that but that’s what I love with Jeanette, that she actually talks about how you can feel guilty for being glad that someone you know passed away. It’s a very taboo thing to say you’re happy someone died but at the end of the day we can’t control how we feel. Hope you’re okay today ❤️
@@casrrole I’m not okay unfortunately. So much damage has been done, and I’m all alone. My few close friends are in different countries and I can only connect to them through internet. I managed to find a place and job though, making a bit more than before. However, I’m fighting to pay rent and I have limited energy. I can’t sleep right, can’t think, or move properly. I’m struggling to lose weight, and I’m unstable. I almost snapped or had a seizure just from trying to fold clothes (retail job) and interacting with so many people. Meanwhile folks out here demand I put in more energy and be positive when I’m running on empty. Lots of taking but no giving. At least the job I work at currently is a bit flexible and patient with me. But I’ll never be the same again. Nothing will really help me at this point - except maybe getting enough funds for rent, bills, and food, and given the chance to meet my close friends in person.
So excited for this!! I've been listening to the audio book, only halfway through, and I'm already so shocked at her story. It's ridiculous how she's being shamed for coming out with this story too. Thank you for covering this!
@@tiffprendergast there was some outrage for the title of her book and the cover, that she shouldn't say it. When you read her book though it's hard to imagine not empathizing with her. It's a very harrowing story
I am another individual who had that horrible unspeakable thought of "I am relieved my mom died." I've never been able to say it outloud because it is just such an unspeakable thing to say. When you grow up with an abusive, mentally ill narcissist, you never learn to do what makes you happy or free, you only live to please the narcissist. They mold you as a child in a way that is so abnormal that when you finally hit the real world its friends and co-workers who are usually like, "Uhm you realize this isn't normal?" My mom introduced me into active pain killer addiction when I was 14 after a surgery where I was prescribed pain killers for a span of two years....at 14. I didnt have a chance. It was my friends and my now wonderful husband who aided me to normalcy. When I read the title of this book, I never so closely related to anything.
Jenette reminds me of Carrie Fisher. The way she tells her story with the pain and the laughs, and a one woman show - definitely could be the next Carrie. Great doc Swoop.
This type of thing has been going on in the industry since Judy Garland was a child, every child star has a terrible story to tell. Simplified, it's horrendous.
I never knew foot fetishes existed until I got to college. The fact that these fetishes seem common makes it extra disturbing that Nick just let it go. SOMEONE IMPORTANT HAD TO KNOW.
Honestly for a while it made me angry with myself because when I recognized the interest my brain was like goddamnit Schneider cottony. But then I actually bother to understand what it is that drew me to it it’s a power dynamic and involves my submission. However I’m not submitting to anyone they have to earn that right
So I’m a new watcher, but I wanted to say that I loved Jeannette’s book. I have it on audible and hearing her read it was rough because I’m also recovering from an E.D. It’s the roughest part of my day everyday and while hearing it was slightly triggering it was so nice to hear someone else experienced the same thing I do. I know everyone says that, but it really does feel like you’re on an island by yourself. Love you Jeannette💜 And thank you SWOOP for the kind words and support
I just finished her book in one day...today. It really hit home with me how conflicted you can feel when your abuser is also someone you love and depend on. Good book. I am so happy she is healing and moving forward and doing life on her own terms. ❤️
It really disturbing to me that news outlets say "Her mom gave her 'exams' until she was a teenager" when really it should be "Her mom gave her 'exams' until she was nearly an adult" because when I (and most people) see that, I think till 12-13 not until 17
I started college when iCarly ended, but I grew up with many of Schneider's other shows on Nickelodeon and feet jokes were prominent. Even then I thought it was really weird and off-putting to have so many running gags surrounding feet throughout these shows long before I knew about sex or fetishes. Unfortunately, now that I understand those things, the feet related jokes and running gags take on a much more disgusting aspect as well as an understanding why those "jokes" were there in the first place. Not because kids really think toes and feet are funny, but because Dan Schneider is a creep.
"like an out of body experience" Yup, 25 years later and it never truly goes away. Was standing in line at a gas station 4 years ago and a drunk dude came up behind me REALLY close and started talking to me. my entire body froze and it took me back to "those times". had to hurry back to my truck cuz i was about to have a full blown panic attack. It was the first time it was that severe.
As someone who had an abusive mother with visions of grandure, I'd love to read Jenette's book. I can only imagine how much worse she had it, I hope she's recovered and doing well. And I hope she's an inspiration to other daughters being abused by their mothers. It "IS" o.k to be glad your mother isn't in your life sometimes. Edit: really tired of the title "mother" or even "father" being literally the only reason for enduring sick, cruel treatment.
I've been debating whether to get her book or not since I'm not usually a fan of auto/biographies. However, I'm now the owner of the Kindle and audio versions. My heart goes out to her. I felt trapped enough when I was abused by a guy who was, essentially, my stepbrother. My mother was my biggest advocate. I don't know where I'd be if the person violating my trust and boundaries was my mother.
I remember I met her at our local mall during a meet n greet and we waiting so long and were so excited and Jennette looked SO said when she signed our photo and take a photo...so heartbreaking to think she was hurting inside 🥺
What a horrendous betrayal of the gift granted to a woman when she becomes a mother. The love of money truly is the root of all evil. Hollywood is hell on earth.
It is heartbreaking, but I am so thankful for all the bravery these people are showing by speaking their Truth, doubly so to Jennette. We've always known about the horrors going on in Hollywood, but with the internet, we can 100%, clear-as-crystal, see it for ourselves. I pray that the Truth continues to be told.
14:58 - 26:30 for my fellow ed survivors and those in recovery, the mentions of triggering topics specific to jenette’s eating disorder are between these times. you are loved, and you deserve to nourish your beautifully unique body. ❤️
I've tried really hard to get through this doc and once again swoop you've covered it so incredibly well. But I've spent days trying to watch it, and days processing and thinking about things and coming to terms with the fact that my own mother has done more than I had really realized. Eye opening doc for sure... And I wonder how many others are now seeing what they've been through
I am not a survivor of MDSA (and yeah, typing that out was very difficult and I couldn't do it), but I am a survivor of verbal and emotional abuse from my mother, and even that is hard to deal with. Moms are supposed to love you no matter what; when they don't, when they abuse you in any way, you question yourself - why did that happen, was it because I was bad, what is wrong with me? I'm so glad this is being exposed, so that people can get the help they need. Thank you, SWOOP.
Why did it make me tear up to hear Swoop express concern over EDs among nonbinary and trans people? It makes me so happy to hear you see and know us, Idk sorry that just made me really happy!
I see and love you all! I hope research and data catches up to better reflect and be more inclusive when talking about challenging topics. So much more we need to do!
story time. I got my period at age 9, and had my appendix removed at 12 in an emergency surgery at 2 am. Doctors convinced it had ruptured….. Only there was nothing wrong with my appendix, it was period cramps. I don’t wish that pain on any one!!!
One if my cousins had the exact opposite of this happen. Her cramps were so awful that when her appenix ruptured she thought it was cramps and didn’t want to go to the dr who had always ignored her pain before then.
Jennette has suffered through so much, none of which she deserved. I am in awe of her resilience and bravery, and I'm so glad to hear that she's happier and healthier now. I'm glad she had Miranda to support her. I completely agree that she's chosen a path of integrity, and I'm wishing her the best in the future 💜
my mother forbid me from taking showers alone till I was 15 and on multiple occasions violated my privacy and touched me inappropriately a few times, its been hard to cope with that cause she was otherwise very abusive as well, I thought we could maybe mend our relationship but that will NEVER happen.
Savy Writes Books did a great review of her book, contrasting it with Jamie Lynn Spears book, and I am once again plugging Jennette’s own TY channel as well
I know savy personally! We had a great talk recently about the book and she really got me excited for whenever i get the chance to read it. Truly a quality human
Thank you for covering this one SWOOP. I’m looking forward to watching this on YOUR channel as you do so much research. I’ve seen other “docs” on this but so much is missing from them. I know you got us covered.
I’m wondering how Amanda wasn’t enough to expose the effects, I’m so thankful for Jennette for exposing this all finally because Ik other were scared too and I’m so happy she did (no offense or harm to those who couldn’t or were scared too) and I pray that not just Jennette but EVERY survivor of Dan Shithole
The Olsen twins tried for years to tell the truth, but think about media from about 2000-2012 or so. We constantly saw magazines make fun of how skinny the twins were & mock Amanda for “ballooning up.” Anyone trying to speak up was called entitled & unappreciative. Even when Brittney had a very public break down magazines ate that shit up.
Amanda went a little crazy and drug obsessed (less her, now that I know the reasons why she did, but I used to think she was a crazy woman until i learned the real story) and Jeanette just seemed more like a believable person, and it also happened in the 2000s for Jeanette so, it was also easier for her to get people to listen. Amanda was also not as fussed over, or seen as "attractive' as Jeanette was, so pretty privilege plays into it.
@@jocelynecupcake it does as well as contract issues and power imbalances, pretty privilege play into it as well as reputations in the media, I feel for Amanda given that she went through a lot and I feel that she went through some things with Dan as well, also with the drug addiction I’m guessing Amanda went through and is dealing with, people tend to box and disrespect addicts and make them out to be awful snd disposable people and Jennette never went through that so this whole thing is just so fucked up in many ways, pretty privilege is another add on
When you read the symptoms of ED and spoke about speaking to your loved ones... I cried. I have recovered from my multiple ED's but like Jenette mine was started by my caregiver, and in the 90s early 00s skinny was in. So we all strived to be invisible. Thank you for being so sweet about it. I am recovered but somedays it does feel like I am still recovering because I still have to watch myself
as a survivor os csa and further sa growing up, i legitimately cannot fathom how absolutely soul crushing it would be for my mother to be the person who sa'd me. my mom and i have a strained relationship due to other factors growing up... but when i began to open up about my sa, she was and still is someone i go to for comfort. without that safety blanket of my mother's love and hugs and understanding, i know i wouldn't be where i am today.
Once again you covered a sensitive topic with integrity, sensitivity, and humor. Thank you. I hope you are treating yourself well - it cannot be easy delving into these topics.
💜 Thank you for mentioning men in your eating disorder stats. Being in love with a man who has struggled with cyclical anorexia-bulimia his entire adult life, it still took a couple years after he met me to finally admit he has an eating disorder. I think the male stats are even higher but they are less likely to get help as they are more likely to be in the orthorexia camp (due to male body ideals) which, let's be honest, the medical association deems "healthy" *and* EDs are wrongfully considered "women's issues". Recovery is possible though. He hasn't binged in months despite some major life stressors. All those struggling similarly, you and him are all worthy of recovery. Don't give up. You will fall but you can get back up again and I hope you can cultivate a community of support to uplift you when you struggle
My dad has some trouble with food when I was younger. I don't know if it counted as a disorder, or just unhealthy. So I believe that a large portion of men do struggle with their relationship with food. My dad is better now, he's been eating healthy, and eating less, and it's made him really proud of himself. I wish your boyfriend the best of luck, whatever he decides to do with his body.
Icarly was my entire childhood and Sam had actually been a character I adored (and likely had a small celebrity crush on, looking back on it now). I was never aware of of the red flags when I was a teen, obviously, but when all this started coming out, all the signs were there, and it's gross to think back on all that stuff I missed. I'm glad Jeanette is in a better place now, she's living her best life, but damn. She deserves better, and so does many of the child actors who are exploited and abused. The entertainment industry needs to be better regulated, watched, ESPECIALLY when it comes to children actors and their rights.
I'm so proud of Jennette. With every problem, she pushed through and rose above. JUST LIKE YOU! I can confidently say, if I didn't stumble across your videos, I'd still be in a toxic abusive family and in active addiction! YOU'RE AN AMAZING PERSON THAT THE WORLD NEEDS MORE OF! THANK YOU!!
Honestly it’s genuinely the worst feeling having your own mother be awful, I’ve got physical and emotional scars from her. Yet no one believed me that she was a bad person I told them about how she slapped me and screamed at me and made me feel so awful about myself and I got told I was being dramatic, took my brother saying that she made him feel like a literal prisoner and made him only eat ramen noodles like once a day because he didn’t take the garbage out… she had him convinced that was normal. I’m genuinely glad she isn’t really in my life and my siblings are in way better living situation
Her book was incredible. Youre brilliant as always Swoop and i appreciate your outrage on her behalf. For additional context, her mother was also a hoarder. Most of their house was filled with her stuff. So her whole family slept on mats in the living room. I think that adds dimension to how she never had her own space. Her mom also put her on a rigorous dance training regimen to give her a "competitive edge" shortly before she started calorie restriction. I've heard her say that she's not proud of her work or her past projects, which both saddened and angered me. Because she was a great actress and she can't enjoy the satisfaction of her past work. She also said that writing always made her feel safe. I'm happy she's found the freedom to dedicate herself to what makes her happy and follow her own dreams.
I had some professional photos taken of my daughter. The company that took them was affiliated with a modelling agency. They tried for 7 months to get me to sign my 3 year old baby to their company they even tried to entice me by a free portfoilio for her and even a car to pick us up and bring us home as I don't drive. I steadfastly refused to have my daughter put into that horrible world. I worked in television and did photographic modelling when I was a teenager. There wasn't all the money in the world that would have entertained the idea of letting my daughter into that horrible horrible world.
FINALLY, a completely respectful, empathetic and factual video on what Jennette has gone through. Unlike some who didn’t bother to read the book, you made an entire documentary that spoke her words exactly how she intended. Thank you for your intelligent, empathetic words on SA and EDs, I have struggled to find UA-camrs who speak on the subject with as much understanding and poise as you, even therapists. I will be subscribing.
it's sad in a way, her legacy, what Debby will be remembered most for will be a book and play telling all the horrible secrets she tried to hide about how she hurt the person who loved her so completely and whole heartedly. I can't imagine a better karma.
Over the last week I've realized I just escaped a sexually abusive relationship, and honestly this video is so reassuring with SWOOP being so supportive of people who have experienced this stuff. Thank you, SWOOP, thank you so much.
Suddenly realizing that’s what you’ve been experiencing can be such an intense feeling. Be kind to yourself! I’m so glad you escaped. ❤️ and remember that having moments of sadness is NOT weakness, it is okay to sit with your feelings for a minute. You are so strong.
i actually never knew jeanette had ocd. being in a horrible home+ battling ocd had to have been so exhausting. i have ocd, and it is horrid, i literally wouldnt wish it on anyone. i feel for her sm :(
This kind of thing has been constantly on my mind since I found out I was going to be a mother soon. Obviously what Jeanette went though was abuse, awful, and shouldn’t have happened. I just worry about what to do for my own child. Jeanette didn’t want to act but was forced to to please her mother. My parents were the opposite, I never really stuck with any of the endeavors I tried because I would get bored or it got too hard and I just decided to stop and my parents let me. Piano lessons, martial arts, gymnastics, science clubs, leadership work, art classes…all things I tried and now wish I was good at but young me was restless and didn’t want to practice or stick by anything and my parents just let me stop… and I wish they hadn’t done that…I wish I had been pushed to finish something, continue working on a craft or skill I tried instead of giving up over and over again. Now I feel like I have no talents, no skills, and I don’t want my children to feel so far behind and have gotten though so much of life with nothing to show for it. So what do I do? Take my parents approach and just hope my child has enough self-motivation to stick though something they like and want? But what if they come to resent me for not pushing them to be the best they can be? I don’t know, I’m so stressed out about this and my baby is coming soon. I just don’t know what to do.
I have a very strong feeling that you’re going to be a FANTASTIC parent! The fact that you’ve considered all this already shows you’ve got this! Don’t stress about it you’re “doing it right”. My most important memory from growing up was simply that my mom was there, and supportive with whatever I tried. I would venture to guess that exposing your child to a variety of things will nurture their ability to try and find out over time what they like. And there’s no clock on you and finding your passions! I just started making these docs a year ago and found a love for it! It’s all in your time! Just breathe and enjoy the moments, all will work out in your time 💙
I don't want to come off as rude, but I have adhd and I ger anxious for other people when they list symptoms that I relate to. So because I would have been happy if someone pushed me in that direction before I got my diagnosis; Have you thought about talking to a therapist about this? Because truly, I don't know you, your context, your personality or your traumas, the ones you're aware of and the ones hidden beneath a surface. Maybe there is something to the thing where you have never finished what you started, because I don't think parents can really have that much influence, and I generally think everyone should at least once in their life see a therapist to just adopt this coping pattern of not feeling cornered by your future but instead starting to think that no matter what comes, you'd be able to handle it. Especially now that you will be a mom, I feel like even if I had advice for you, this is such an individual and sensitive topic, I don't think I should mess with it and give an opinion on it when I don't personally know you and have an idea what you think is best for you. You deserve true happiness, is all I will tell you, and you are good enough to achieve it as long as you don't lose your goal. I wish you the best on this journey.
@@PettyUniversity Thank you, that was so sweet of you to say. I think I am just on overdrive panic since I am 9 weeks from my delivery date. I have been panicking about a lot of things. I really do appreciate what you said though. I suppose I also do appreciate that my parents were there to talk to me and let me explore my interests and I do want that for my child as well. I will try to be more positive about it. Thank you again. 💜
@@corneliahanimann2173 Thank you for your very kind words. 💙I started tearing up as I read your response. You did not come off as rude at all, thank you for your compassionate response. I don't want to get into all of my issues or anything...but I will say that my husband has expressed similar thoughts to me about seeing a therapist and speaking to them. He has recently been to therapy and said that it was very helpful. So, I have been thinking about it. I do want to say that I appreciate all of your kind words and your response. I wish you the best as well, you are truly a wonderful person.
Remember that a child is a human being like anyone else. We all cope differently, and develop at different rates. Don’t put your shortcomings or high expectations on your child. Don’t take your frustrations out on them either.
Watching this now after quiet on set. I LOVE that swoop always includes additional information and resources for mental health issues. She’s done it in every video I’ve watched. The encouragement and love she pours into the audience is beautiful. Keep doin what you do swoop. We love you! 🫶
Talking about the SA by the mom reminded me of Rudy Farias and how he told Quanell X about the SA he suffered, but immediately retracted it being SA and the confusion around how he was feeling about it was so clear. I wish she would be charged but she won't be
while I didn't face the same type or severity of abuse that jennette did, my mother spent my first 30 years of life emotionally and mentally abusing me, sometimes turning it physical but it was mostly mental. I am also a survivor, and I am also someone who has had to deal with my mother getting a terminal illness as she was diagnosed with alzheimer's years ago. I have become her full time caregiver, and it has been emotionally draining. following jennette's story lately has made me realize that there are so many of us who have been hurt by the person who is supposed to protect us. of course I knew it before, but hearing someone being so open about it, someone I had no idea was going through it, made it real somehow. I'm so glad she made it to the other side and was able to share her story, it will help SO many people.
MDSA part really freaked me out. As I child I once asked for milk not knowing I was too big to be breast fed and my mother did it anyways and I remember as a kid thinking wait there's no milk why are we still doing this. Geez man
This problem is so entrenched in the celebrity side of things it’s disgusting and their lack of accountability is frightening. This isn’t just a problem in Hollywood, it’s also a problem in the music industry and the two overlap frequently. I will never ever forget the first time actor Corey Feldman spoke up about it and how hard they tried to silence him. It stuck with me and I mention it as frequently as I can. Britney Spears is another victim of the machine. But their insistence on pretending it doesn’t exist is so disgusting. Remember Jeffrey Epstein had his fingers in a LOT of businesses including Hollywood. Oh, and let’s not forget it’s a problem in the UK as well. They had their own in Jimmy Seville who was abusing children since the 70s and his crimes were exposed after his death. (Not that it wasn’t known. It was VERY well known) Kevin Spacey’s alleged crimes reminds me of Seville. They need to hold these people accountable!
This also happens outside of the entertainment industry and sometimes they happen within families where the predator(s) aren't held accountable and there's usually a few relatives acting as if nothing ever happened.
Remember Epstein had previously been a teacher at the super elite Dalton school in NYC. And that his close friend’s wife was so disturbed by her husband’s relationship with Epstein that she divorced him...she just waited until after Epstein died & her husband had effectively convinced the world to submit to his designs (Bill & Melinda Gates; she filed only after a public show of solidarity wrt c-19...measures). We all know the entertainment industry is dirty. But few know the same is true of the SCIENCE world (especially medical & pharmaceutical industrial complex) at the highest levels.
@@psychegoddessoflight9358 Sadly, I did not know of that... no... wait... no, you're right. I have heard of several "scientific" studies that are seriously questionable and was involved in one study when I was in elementary school that they JUST even acknowledged. I used to tell people about it but since it wasn't so wide spread nor well known... I always wondered if I had just imagined the entire thing. That was until a few years ago... when I was watching the nightly news and they spoke about a study that was done... 30 years ago and the study wasn't named but when they described the type of study that they did... I felt so vindicated. I turned to my grandmother and I told her all about my experience with such a study. She has a degree in psychology and she was very angry for me because of the psychological damage that they inflicted on children like me. We were told it was just a simple test on emotions and self-esteem in children, however, I was one of the children that was seen negatively. My answers were indicated to be concerning. Now, some psychologists say that my answers were normal for my environment and had nothing to do with my actual psychology. Yeah... adults can do some serious damage to children.
I just wanted to say thank you for your compassion and candor in discussing the mdsa issue. I can not tell you how powerful it was to see that discussed openly and not treated as a thing that does not exist. As a survivor of mdsa who was not believed as a child and is often not believed as an adult (I cannot tell you how often I've heard "a mother wouldn't do that"), it is so wonderful to feel seen and heard. Also, thank you so much for posting resources. I have been on my healing journey for several decades now and it's these sorts of resources that are invaluable. And to other survivors out there, I'm sorry that you experienced this and you are not alone. May light shine in the darkness that this creates for us and may you find a path out of it. Thank you again, Swoop. I always appreciate your empathy and compassion for dv and sa survivors, but never comment because I honestly find it terrifying to comment in public spaces. But this hit home hard and I really wanted to say thank you. 💖
Not to mention that Nick actually tried to ruin her reputation and destroy her to discredit her suffering on the studio.... I always felt for her and loved her...I hope she is doing well and is able to get passed these horrors and start living the best life the one she deserves
Such a powerful doc. I am 45 and still learn so much from you. You are amazing and handle every topic you touch with compassion, love and grace with the perfect splashes of petty. I can’t wait for my white Petty sweatshirt ❤️
Her story hits a little too close to home for me. I grew up in a religious setting (which caused an extreme amount of trauma for me), my mom was a teenager when she had me so she brought me into her pre-existing eating disorder when I was about 8 or 9. I remember weighing myself everyday and drinking "K20" which I haven't been able to find in a very long time, but I was constantly told triple digits was bad.... things got vastly worse and as dark as you could imagine and when I was 16 she kicked me out, when I was 17 I moved 1,000 miles away, which still isn't far enough for me. I haven't gotten a copy of her book yet but I love the title. I think it's important to acknowledge that not every parent is loving and caring. Not every uterus donor is a mother.
I've suffered from anorexia since middle school and even though it's wildly embarrassing to do so, since eating around others is very common, I've have brought up and told everyone I eat around my issues. Not ad nauseum and not continually, but everyone in my family (especially my husband) is aware of my problem so I cannot quietly fall back into bad habits, which try as I might, will always happen if I think I can get away with it. So I make it incredibly difficult to get away with it. I know that won't work for everyone because it is embarrassing and it took me years to come to terms with it myself, much less sharing with others, but if you can I do recommend broadcasting it to those around you just once so they can help if they notice you need help
I had no idea Jeanette was suffering like me! Not only do I have an overly controlling mother but I also had/have anorexia. This is the year I chose to finally do something about it, hearing about her recovery will help motivate me to recover myself. I'm so glad she is doing better now and I feel for her and anyone else going through this too. Thank you for talking about this Swoop!
Reading the last chapter of her book made me want to cry with happiness and pride for a woman I’ve never even met. She was so open and real about her journey that seeing the progress she’s made was so incredible. This poor woman was put through *actual hell* for the first couple decades of her life, but she was still able to build a beautiful life for herself. I really hope that her success can be an inspiration to other people that healing from trauma and treating mental illnesses is possible, and that, while the road to recovery is full of bumps and setbacks, the life you hope for is still possible. Good luck to anyone out there battling an ED, or recovering from abuse, coping with SA. You deserve to heal and have a wonderful life, too ❤
Thank you for bringing attention to ED's and providing resources to those affected. I had an eating disorder for MANY years, and I know how awful and isolating it can be, and it literally ruins ur life. The scary part is you dont even realize how bad it is when ur in the midst of things until ur on the other side and look back on ur old behaviors. Please, if any of you have a bad relationship with food, dont let it get too far, thats how it all starts ❤
You quoted Mr. Hunter S. Thompson, and that just made me love you a thousand times more! As always, amazing job on this doc! You do an amazing job bringing issues to light as well as a way for people to learn and get help.
I can relate a bit to this. When my father (abuser) died it was such a conflicting grieving process. I even though I went no contact almost twenty years ago I was both sad and relieved at the same time. I was relieved that he was gone and finally felt safe but also sad. I have some good memories of him and I mourned the father he was in those memories.
What do you want me to cover next?! Leave me all the comments!
and thank you to Scentbird! Use SWOOP6 to get 55% off your first month at Scentbird sbird.co/3ufvdUN
Ezra Miller. I can't wrap my head around his story, and you'll probably go where no one else has with it, which is why it's perfect for you
Please please please cover the story of miiasauras. I’m so confused and I can’t find her videos anywhere and I think you would BEAUTIFULLY put that “story” together.
The long overdue sienna mae part 2. Petty university kickin in I wanna make noise to drag sienna harder
Dre McCray
I am from Western New York and well one of the biggest true crime happened here The Bike Path Rapist. It was huge.
There needs to be a class in school where all the kids learn is "If an adult tells you to keep it a secret, tell another adult" over and over again starting in preschool
there are child advocacy groups that will come to schools to teach things like this, but its not standard or provided by the school.
at my child's school, theres a group that teaches children about knowing which adults are "safe adults" and not keeping body secrets, etc. (starting in kindergarten)
you're right though, we should be better equipping our children :(
I remember as a kid in elementary school, we had to read these little comic informational books about topics like this. Inappropriate touching from adults, how to find safety from them, drugs, etc.
We definitely need to reintroduce/start these conversations again. Too many children going through abuse.
Sounds like the Denmark health class for kindergarteners all about you, your body, and autonomy. We have the blueprints, we just refuse to use them 😞😞
YES and if an adult says to you they want to go to your room with you and “play a game” TELL SOMEONE bc it’s not a game, it’s where they begin the abuse..
I always tell my daughters that there’s no such things as secrets
The Olsen twins tried to tell us this years ago and people just called them weird and unappreciative. I’m glad Jeanette is speaking up
WHOA when was this what was said?! I feel stupid for not knowing about that I use to be obsessed with them when I was younger.
@@krystinaxxlea I think it was drowned out by media focusing on the negatives about them. Constantly gossiping about EDs, etc. They all get the treatment of “just another child star snapping”. But never about the treatment that caused the snap.
@@krystinaxxlea they’ve spoken up about it in later years. How they wouldn’t wish their childhood on anyone. They’ve spoken about times where they were so exhausted from working and how people would just tell them do it one more time because it would make everyone else SO happy. It’s scarily similar to what Jeanette is talking about, the difference being that they litterally grew up in that environment. Also- don’t blame yourself for being obsessed with them, that was Litterally their whole thing! It wasn’t until years after they stopped acting that they spoke about how they hated their childhood
@@casrrole omg!!! Thank you for replying with such detail I appreciate it! That's all so heartbreaking, it's so messed up. People wonder why child celebrities go off the deep end, I mean Aaron Carter Shia LaBeouf that Cory guy from that's so raven I forget his last name, Amanda Bynes Demi Moore Drew Barrymore Lindsay Lohan I mean the list just goes on and on. It makes you Wonder what was the difference between them and people like Hilary Duff Mandy Moore Keke Palmer Vanessa Hudgens Josh Peck and a few handful of others did to not end up that way.
It definitely makes me worry for the new generation coming in like the stranger things cast, like the countdown to millies bobbybrowns 18 birthday was identical to all the count downs for all the teenage girls 18th birthday in the 2000s it just as disgusting and disturbing now as it was then.
I feel like there needs to be an up roar to insure these young kids are properly protected now. We've seen to much bad shit happen when bad people run the entertainment industry, behind closed doors their dangerous and the young actors pay the price for our entertainment without our knowledge of what's actually happening. They made us complicit without being made aware which I hate.
@@krystinaxxlea i honestly think the difference would be the parents? I can’t say for sure for all of them but I know keke palmer grew up in a rather normal environment and that it was her own request to get into acting and no one pressured her to keep going, you know? Like I’m sure she’s got a few stories to tell aswell but if you have a support system at home it’s much easier to go through those feelings instead of having to hold them in until you break. Idk im just guessing but I do think it’s very sad that so many children end up having severe trauma from their time as child actors. It’s honestly something I wouldn’t want anybody to experience
The fact that Jenette's mother insisted on bathing her well into her late teens is somehow even more disturbing when you also know that in the show iCarly, the character of Freddy is also forced to be bathed by his mother, but in the show it's played for laughs how overly controlling his mother is. On top of that, Jenette's character Sam frequently makes fun of Freddy for the way his mother treats him.
I didn’t even think of that. Good point.
I didn't even thing about that!! That's so self-deprecating, and messed up when you thing about it like that
Most likely the show writers had some idea of what was going on in real life, and thought it was so funny that they _"just had to"_ incorporate it into the show somehow. This is literally nothing new. Show writers often pull upon situations from their own lives to write into the show for content. Mike Scully, one of the writers for The Simpsons, wrote his experience of shoplifting as a child into the show and gave birth to the episode "Marge Be Not Proud". The head writer on The Brady Bunch would use stories his daughter told him about what was going on at school for episodes centered on the Marsha Brady character, and did this for several years before his daughter had to confront him and tell him, "My life is not fodder for your TV show" before he stopped.
Jeanette was a child when filming iCarly, so she was not directly (or even indirectly) responsible for what the writers, director, or whomever added into the show - and given what we know about Dan Schneider and her mother, she most likely would not have been able to speak out about it without the threat of losing her job, and the possible "punishment" (read: abuse) that would follow.
@@cannibalisticrequiem of course she's not responsible in any way and couldn't safely speak up about it, and of course writers use what they know and often take from real life. I'm saying that it's disturbing that Jeanette had to act out scenes in which her character was making fun of the same thing that was happening to her privately. Really disturbing. It's already bad enough that all the clearly abusive behaviour from his mother that Freddy had to endure in the show was used for comedic effect at all.
Holy shit
Dan Schneider is STILL working in the industry. He was not canceled, he just slunk into the background and anyone who has done the things that he has done should have faced greater consequences.
He can continue running away but its not forever that he can get away wth those.
Crosby was put in jail for doping a woman this guy had been doping and giving alcohol to minors he needs to be in jail he completely created suggestive p*** of minors.
Imagining being pressured to be skinny and having an ED, and then playing a character that's obsessed with food. Having it acknowledged physically, verbally or otherwise so frequently. That must have been a nightmare.
Wishing Cancer on Cancer is Diabiacal 😈
An unimaginable level of Cognitive dissonance and Shame it must have caused, on top of being parentified (made to feel like her responsibility was to financially take care of her parents) while also being forced into a coercively controlled child role. Constant emotional turmoil and confusion where dissociation was her only way out of the corner she was locked in by the person that was supposed to make her feel safe.
In her book, it seemed like Miranda Cosgroce was one of her only friends. It’s a brief relief to learn that their friendship is real
The fact that Miranda Cosgrove was basically the 'it' girl at Nickelodeon at that point, but was so genuine and down to earth. Gives you a little faith in humanity.
@aaaaa no. They tolerated each other but they were not friends.
Yes Miranda is her friend now and tried to make sure she'll be in the reboot with the best conditions possible.
@@cassiapple3970 this!!!
@aaaaa definitely not
To those who haven't yet read the book, I HIGHLY recommend the audiobook that Jennette narrates herself. Having her tell her own story with her own inflections makes the story that much more captivating and emotional
Also, I feel like not enough people mention that not only were the kids homeschooled, but her mother was a severe hoarder, to the point that Jennette, her three brothers, her mother, and her grandparents all slept in the living room because their rooms were too full of junk
Before reading your comment, I was thinking "I really want the audio book, I really hope she narrates it herself" hah! it's gotta be that much more powerful. Thanks for the info.
@@maekyla_ it’s very moving. She has a very distinct way of writing, which really reflects her speech, so the way she’s delivering the words you kind of forget you’re listening to a book and not just someone tell their life story. She also gets choked up a few times, and it really hits hard
@@Lex_brooke yeah, her mother absolutely had undiagnosed mental health problems.
I don’t know what those problems were exactly but I think there was a family history of OCD because her own grandfather even tried to get her mother to see that Jeanette was maybe suffering from OCD.
And then after her mother died we learn that her (maternal???) grandmother is a total controlling piece of trash/narcissist.
And maybe her mother also had issues concerning hypersexuality (???-I’m guessing considering what came to light after her mom died).
Her mother was a fucking nightmare who abused everyone in her vicinity, but I think if someone had just forced her into getting some help for her mental health through medication and intense therapy at some point a lot of this bullshit could have been avoided.
@@maekyla_ I’m not entirely finished with the audiobook, but at least at one point (so far) she breaks down while reading.
So interesting being an early 90s kid, growing up and hearing all these teen stars having 'breakdowns' or 'addictions' and being called crazy or ungrateful, and now that many of them have grown up and recovered, they're finally able to properly speak out without being afraid or being shouted down. Now we wait another twenty years for the kids of family vlogs to do the same thing.
So true.
Family vlogssss😮😮😮 I got in a fight with a girl I was in high school with because she had her daughter as a super provocative model because she had a clothing line and thousands of her photos online by the time she was 5... It wasn't usually appropriate looking photos
This happens every generation
Yeah, especially Ryan Kaji(aka. Ryan’s World)
Guess you didn’t have to wait 20 years because 8 passengers kids are already speaking out😬😬
The last time MY mom said "it'll be our secret" was when she was asking me to piss into a ziploc so she could pass a drug test for CPS.
The last time my dad said "it'll be our secret" was when he was volunteering to drive me to/from things, just so he could stop at gas stations and get alcohol to drink while driving since he wasn't allowed to do so at home.
Parents SHOULD NOT be using their children to "keep secrets." If an adult is telling you "it'll be our secret" don't fall for it. Unless it's about, say, a surprise party or a gift for someone.
Miranda didn't know everything much at all. She said that if you were a kid, you don't always have the perspective that others can be handling things worse than you. Which is what I agree with, that most kids don't tend to have this perspective.
Just a quick side note about the book cover: I love the use of pink.
It was Debra's favorite color and she forced Jennette to have it as hers too. So the pink urn and the font just come off as a specific finger to her mother
I was wondering about that!
Oh wow I didn’t notice it until you said something!
It looks almost identical to dolly partons Jolene cover.
Plus the 90s magazine cover font
Maybe her mom was a fan of Dolly Parton too cause she’s the reference for the book cover, her Jolene single cover art has the same format Jennette was inspired to use
This video actually helped me... I called the hotline number for SA victims and now I might recieve free trauma therapy... to swoop, I love you and thank you for helping me so much.
I'm so sorry for what you went through *hugs if you want* the path of recovery is long and I hope you get all the help you need! 💚
You’ve taken such an important first step toward healing, and that alone takes so much bravery and strength. I don’t know you, but I am *so* proud of you. I’m wishing you all the best, and hope that you continue to heal and find peace.
💚💚💚
So proud of you for taking that step!
This is awesome. I’m so happy for you
I grew up believing that setting boundaries was a betrayal to my mother. She would sit in the bathroom while I showered until I moved out. I had to sit in the bathroom when she showered. She didn’t wear clothes very often. I’m glad my dad was in the house, because she was very adamant that he not see us in any state of undress. To this day, at 46, I still have problems with setting boundaries. I still do not view my body as my own. My mother brought us up thinking that we belonged to our husbands.
I’m on husband number 3. This one has helped me to set boundaries. He has also helped me to go no contact with her as well. I send hugs to anyone who has ever been abused.
I brought my kids up to know that no one has the right to see, touch, anything any part of them that they did not want.
I feel u, my mom forced me to shower with her sometimes and I was extremely uncomfortable. She also touched me to check if my body was healthy, even tho we could have went to the doctors or I could have checked myself. Now I just don't know how to say no when people are getting too close, since these boundaries never existed in my home.
@@derkatzenmensch220 I’m sending you hugs and mom love. Boundaries are so difficult to set for me as well. They destroyed us.
This feels disgustingly... like type of sh and I wonder how you view it as... I can't imagine
this sounds like covert inc*st, in case you havent heard of it.
aside from that, i'm glad that you have a partner now who is helping you recover. sending love your way from another survivor ♡
My mom was always thinking the worst of me and always scared me with similar behavior. She would accuse me of doing things that I didn’t even understand and would inspect my room, body, and my clothes. I grew up so scared and confused w/out knowing anything about puberty because I was too scared to ask her cause of her accusations.
As an adult she tried to control me further and have a say in my ovaries and would constantly tell me to wrap it up when I was a MARRIED WOMAN and since I grew up “religious” I thought she was against protection but now all the sudden she pushes it on me?
I had to go to therapy and that’s where I found out she put me in a horrible situation due to her self interest.
Took me 25 yrs to realize how evil and disgusting she truly is and I had to go no contact. She will never meet my baby angel that’s on the way.
On MDSA, I remember telling my older brother about my experiences like this. Except my mom was a nurse and we were student athletes, so that was the excuse she had to look at my "body composition". The way Jeanette describes how she felt when her mother touched her, I've never heard anyone else describe how I feel.
Anyway, when I told my brother about it and how I felt violated among the other things she did. He said "but it wasn't sexual/ she was just looking/ She's your mom." Despite how she did similar things to him. And so Jeanette speaking out about this has been incredibly validating.
Im so sorry no one should ever go through that and should be able to feel safe with their guardian, I really hope you’re doing well now💓
I read her book, it was hardcore. her mom was AWFUL. the fridge incident made me realize how entitled she was. she called jennet so many names after finding out she had a boyfriend, then said she was not her mother anymore and ended the email with an "send money to a fridge, ours broke". like EXCUSE ME?
Ik I was like WTF???
It was heart wrenching, mind boggling and insane but its a VERY good book to learn from! It can be a case study and guidebook for child stars! That mama....and not to mention her grandma (the unofficial catalyst) were pieces of WORK!
Jeanette is an incredibly brave human being. On my own personal level, I just blocked my own mother for ... reasons ... this book completely validated my own trauma and feelings. I am not alone. We are not alone 💙 much love
💙💙💙
I’m going to do the same to my toxic parents. It did the same for me, so we are survivors! ❤️
Sending love to you. Toxic family members are the worst. I hope you are finally healing ❤
You’re not alone, Amanda. I’ve grown a family of people that support me for over 10 years. Love to you. 🥰
Proud of you! Have you heard bad for me by Meghan trainer? I find it really validating and think you might too 😘
“Reports filed for years….” Wow, Nickelodeon and USA Gymnastics are on the same level of dumpster fireness. Ignoring complaints of abuse for money, medals and whatnot… 🤦♀️
For me, the biggest sign of growth is that Jennette admitted during the book’s promo tour that a return to acting is not out of the question. But that it’d have to be on HER terms.
Apparently she’s an incredible director, too. I haven’t seen any of her work because I think they were all smaller, more personal projects but I have a friend who worked with her and said she was a natural. I think Shayne from Smosh also worked with her on the same project.
Probably feels really good to direct for her, rather than being directed like she was on set and at home.
@@tesstucker3311 Didn’t Shayne get his start on iCarly? They probably go way back.
She's in a Netflix show *Between* that cameout in 2022. She is phenomenal in it.
@@mikankitsune0440Between actually came out in 2015! I believe this was her last big acting job.
When my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, she was worried about my sisters and me getting breast cancer. Instead of creepy groping, my mom had all three of us feel the tumor in her breast so we'd know what to look for when we did our own breast exams.
Was abused by my mother as well. She used to make me talk "dirty" on the phone ☎️ to her boyfriends when I was 12/13. I was also very religious and "obey thy parents " was a HUGE thing! That added to my confusion 😕 .
I'm really sorry 🤢🤢🤢
@@jinaolen786 thx. I appreciate that
I hope that you're OK now that is completely disgusting
Wtf is wrong with your mother?
I’m glad you call out that Jeanette was sexually abused. I feel like most of the other things I’ve watched and read about her book don’t come out and say that.
I think because it’s super confusing. Like, absolutely it is sexual abuse but for those who are privileged and never had to spend a moment’s thought in this area, it’s difficult to come to terms with maybe...?
When I was listening to that part of the book I was thinking it was super fucked up that her mom did that but then brain tried to reason it out-which I very much know is fucked up because regardless of her mothers actual motives it was still sexually abusive.
I spent time wrestling with the label (which again, I admit is very much correct-she was sexually abused) I sort of think others are also sort of working out what the fuck happened as well.
I had to look past what her mother’s alleged intentions were. Even though it is possible for those intentions to be pure ( I don’t think that was the case)-perhaps her mother really was super terrified her children would get cancer too and she wanted to make sure it was caught early-she did these cancer checks in the worst fucking way possible and ended up sexually abusing her kids in the process.
Yeah real talk. I couldn’t believe she was going through all that - especially w/ the “Creator”
@@PennyPennyPennyPennyPenny you are right! I was doing the same thing when I first heard it too. Trying to make it make sense somehow, but it just doesn’t!! Poor Jeanette.
@@PennyPennyPennyPennyPenny Let's re-write your first sentence
Not being sexual abused is not "priviledged" it should be the normal standard not seen as a priviledge.
@@zappers8027 jus because it shouldnt be, doesnt mean it isnt. it is 100% a privilege to not even think about this kind of stuff. my bf was one of those people till he met me. most men are.
"Have you read the book?" has taken on a new meaning beyond movie adaptations. Several commentary channels have made videos on the same topic, and it was clear they had only seen clips of interviews/read articles marketing the book. Thank you for really getting into the work rather than just reporting on the headlines. This is important stuff, and we need to have meaningful conversations about these topics.
yes! after reading the book myself i was excited to see my fave commentary channels talking about it as well… only to find out they could only regurgitate the headlines and were left with questions that were LITERALLY answered as plain as day in the book
I mean, this has *always* been important beyond movie adaptations. Just look at the book Lolita. I got *suspended* in high school for “having material that promotes paedophilia.” Anyone who thinks that book is actually promoting it either never read it or clearly didn’t have the capacity to understand it, and because of that you often can’t read this literal classic book without being labeled as a paedo.
actually, it seems swoop hasn't read the book either, since she only gets into quotes from articles rather than the book itself. i read the book and there were multiple quotes that would've added to the points she was making so i think it's a shame
I mean my library has over a thousand holds on the book and the likely estimate wait time for the book when I put my hold on it was 3 months so it’s not an easy book to read if you don’t have the ability to buy it
@@mausilw that's so stupid that that happened to you, the movies really made a mockery of that book
" I was playing an adult game that I didn't have the tools to play" OMG that was so profound and sad 😢 I'm proud of her for getting her voice out!!
Yesss 🎉🎉🎉🎉👏👏👏👏
I can empathize with that. I recently had a situation where I figured out that a friend of mine is a narcissist. And they kept tearing into me over things that were beyond my control, and I felt awful and had no clue how to deal with it. Then a friend of mine mentioned that he’s a narcissist, and it all clicked. I like to see the good in everyone, and I haven’t dealt extensively with anyone who is a narcissist. I did not have the tools to fight him.
I ended up having to block him, for my own sanity
It's shit like this is why I strongly dislike the phrase "Respect your elders". You shouldn't respect someone who abuses you simply because they're older than you.
Yeah
My mom used to examine me after baths when I was younger. I remember one time she did something that really hurt me and she apologized so fiercely and cried and held me saying she would never do it again. It always felt wrong, but it wasn't until that moment it clicked that what she was doing was wrong. It wasn't until maybe 2 years ago that I thought on it again and came to the realization that my mother SA'd me. This part of the doc was so helpful and so needed. Thank you for shining a light on this as it's not talked about the way it should be
Wishing you healing and happy holidays ❤
My mother tried to put me into the entertainment business when I was only 15, I was not having it. I’m now 31 and refuse to talk to her still. Just because someone is family doesn’t mean they belong in your life. ALWAYS PUT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH FIRST
Always put your mental health first because literally no one else will, then those same people who wear you down will then abandon you when you crash and need the support. So yeah.
@@jesslee7985 and have the fkn audacity to act like you're unhinged or wronged them some how 🙄😭 they will literally push you over the ledge and be like "why tf are you falling" shts wild frfr
@@GaryThaSnail777 and THEN have the audacity to come crawling over and act like everything they put you through never happened when you start getting money and/or your life is getting better like nah it’s better cause you ain’t in it🙄
@@cgr4484 yesssss!!! My mama has literally told me so many times, "I'm the parent and you're the child it doesn't matter what I say to you you have no right to talk to me like you do regardless of what I say" when I come to her about stuff she said to me that really bothered me and hurt me. Like girl I'm 30 damn years old I'm not a child anymore 😒🤣 it's just crazy how they'll try to make it out that you're being disrespectful when really all you're doing is setting boundaries for yourself with them
@@GaryThaSnail777 it’s extremely sickening and toxic when they use the “parent card” and say you’re disrespecting them when you’re just trying to explain how you’re feeling and how what they are doing is being hurtful. Don’t even get me started on when you make a point and they’re clearly in the wrong and flip the tables on you with the “disrespecting your parents” card😒
Thank you for doing a deep dive on Jennette. She didn't deserve the shit she had gone through. 💔
I'm glad that our generation is FINALLY opening the toxic parents " pandora box " - we might actually break generational curses and heal from those traumas. I hope Jenette McCurdy continues to heal and take care of herself (and I'm kinda scared and worried for her... because you know, exposing Hollyweird never ends well..)
Thanks Swoop for this amazing breakdown 💙
@@Raya-ir4tm Hi. The people you are mentionning didn't learn the lessons of their traumas or generational curses. It's never easy to break the cycle.
Doubt it…cause 1) toxic parents aren’t a new issue and 2) society will ALWAYS put parents on a pedestal. Let’s be real, if Jennette was a nobody and average her story wouldn’t be making rounds.
@@izzylandyt Hi.
Toxic parents aren't a new issue, I agree but more and more people are coming upfront to share their stories on social and mainstream media. It's a huge step.
I know the changes won't happen overnight but each (baby) step is important.
And society is made of people. If people are willing to change (it) then there's still hope.
"our generation is FINALLY opening the toxic parents "pandora box" "
Me: *thinks about all the fairytales where the actual blood related parents are abusive*
[)Anyway her
As someone who often ended up being the shoulder to cry on for my parents, I feel for Jennette when she said she wanted to keep her mom happy. I often felt like I was the only one who could keep peace in my family, and I was left to deal with their issues as if they were my own. It's an awful thing to feel like you are responsible for your parents' well-being
People complain former child stars snapping and acting out, and yet they refuse to see how much of a pattern this has become.
Lindsey Lohan, Britney Spears, the Olsen Twins, Macaulay Culkin-just to name a few.
I completely agree, I've been observing this for years. When people start to realize that the parents hand wrapped their kids as gifts for that perverted industry. The sad thing is after all the cautionary tales there are still parents waiting to sign their kids up for that horrible industry. Fame should be a choice when you're old enough to make that decision for yourself.
When parents want their kids to go into acting, it can be the most horrible thing to watch.
I used to work as a makeup artist on short films and on one of the sets, we had a boy and his mom there for the shoot. The mom was obsessed with telling everyone all the shows her son had acted in. While on set, she got an email for her son to go to an audition to be in a commercial for Tim Hortons (I’m in Canada). She went crazy, telling everyone what had just happened. When her son came back from set, she told him, all excited, that it was this weekend and she was so excited! Her son straight up told her no, I want to go see my friends and play this weekend. But the mom was like no you have to go to this, you can play with them at school. I can just imagine how much resentment her son had for her, and part of me wonders where he ended up in live.
Not every situation is like this (thank God) but you can tell these type of parents don't see their children as children but as cash cows and *_their_* chance to finally 'make it big'. It's fucking gross.
I am a full grown adult but hate when I have to do work/have overtime on weekends. Some parents smh 🤦♂
I think Jeanette mentions it in her book, but most child actors don't _stay_ actors once they aren't children anymore. It's pretty rare for a child star to continue into adult/professional acting.
I had an aunt that refused to let her kids watch Nickelodeon and Disney channel, as a kid i never understood why she said it was full of evil but damn... Yeah. Sorry Aunty 🤣🙃
I mean, SpongeBob was incredible and a lot of cartoons from Nickelodeon were great, and nothing to miss out on. I recommend you check out the old episodes of SpongeBob, and maybe also CatDog, Robot & Monster, The Angry Beavers, and Doug. Hey Arnold isn't really for everyone but it tackles serious issues more than a lot of cartoons do. Those are some high quality cartoons right there, and it's a shame that they also blended in on the same network with crap like iCarly and Sam & Cat. Also, Disney channel had some bad sitcoms but they were no where near as bad as Nickelodeon. Disney also tend to have way more family values in their shows than Nickelodeon did, they tried to be more family friendly, and they also did try and treat their stars a little better (other than Demi Lovato, who got the wrong end of the deal). Personally, I'd rather let my kid watch a Disney channel sitcom, like Good Luck Charlie or Suite Life, rather than one of their sexist overrated princess movies from 50 years ago. If you ever want to give one of those sitcoms a try, I recommend most of them, the only ones I don't recommend are Lab Rats and Jessie.
I mean, I wouldn't go as far as to saying it's full of evil, but I knew exactly what she meant. Personally, i grew up with mostly Qubo and Sprout, so I understand that those were way better than Disney or Nickelodeon, but that doesn't mean that Disney and Nickelodeon were all full of awful shows.
Damn, AUNTIE KNEW
@@jocelynecupcakeright before my mom passed away she got really into Hey Arnold. She’d try to get me to watch it with her but I was always reluctant. Wishing now that I did! She is very reminiscent of Jeanette’s mom, but I have the amazing opportunity of getting my closure before she unexpectedly passed. Wish I sat down and watched Hey Arnold with her! Definitely a show that tackled a lot of important issues for kids.
It’s so hard to look back at iCarly fondly - even though Jeanette was an idol to myself and many others - it’s heartbreaking to discover the hell she had to endure on the show and elsewhere in the industry - glad to know she’s happier now 💛✨
Jeanette is cool, Sam was a toxic bully cunt and it pisses me off how glorified she was.
“I felt like wanting any boundary was a betrayal of her”- man I feel the in my core. I really appreciate jennette speaking up because although my situation was nothing compared to hers, there has been clear abuse that I never could make sense of until being shown directly “hey this happened to me and it was super fucked up”
i know it's been 10 months since u commented this but i just want to say there's no reason u have to say ur situation wasn't as bad . pain is pain and it fills you up evenly . comparing trauma isn't helpful to you , you deserve to be taken seriously - for every story there is one more shocking and disgusting and it wouldn't have made any of the ones told before "better".
I’m so glad my mom was aware of the dangers of disordered eating. When I suffered from anorexic tendencies, she noticed and got me help. People knowing more about eating disorders and the dangers is so SO important. Knowing how they can help is equally as important.
honestly some, i wouldn’t agree with mines approach, she’d make me sit at the table until 9 (if didn’t eat, it’d be my breakfast.) she’d tell me to take at least one bite, then can go to bed. then further and further. it was horrible t the time, but to imagine how bad it could’ve gotten, it’s probably better she did it that way.
Dan Schneider looks like that creepy old dude that hangs around all the high school parties because people his age know he’s a loser. He likes the power he has over children. Also, Swoop I love your docs. Informative but also hilarious. 😂
I mean less looks like and more was
That's exactly how I'd describe him. Him and the creator of Ren & Stimpy (also a p*dophile) should be locked up in a prison cell and given NO FOOD! If they wanna eat, their can eat each other!
Everything she said
Swoop did a great job outlining EDs, but I want to piggyback on what she said and also highlight that B*nge Eating Dis*rder (BED) without the purging aspect (b*lemia) is a very real thing and affects a lot of people as well. It wasn't recognized as an ED until more recently (2012, I believe) and it isn't really talked about in media, but it's very real. I never thought that I had an ED as I was growing up because I was over-eating and overweight, but I was just as preoccupied with my physical appearance and weight as someone with an*rexia or b*lemia would have been. As Swoop said, living with an ED is hell, and I still struggle with not blaming and hating myself every day. If you have a tendency to eat large quantities of food in a very short time, eat secretly, feel immense shame around eating or your size - but you're not emaciated - you may still have an ED. And there is help and resources. ❤️
Thank you for this comment!! 🙏🏼
I struggle with this, it is a shame it's not talked about as much.. I remember being a kid and feeling so embarrassed to ask for food at a friend's or family friend's house, I hated eating around others especially the places I just mentioned. I also would get bored and just start eating, it started happening alot when I turned 11, at that time I was going through a growth spurt and would eat anything in the house but it got worse over time. Once I was a teen probably 15 or 16, I would start starving myself all day and I would only snack on granola fruit bars, (whenever I decided to come out of my room), one summer the only thing I would think about eating was the granola bars, I'd have 3 a day, and water, all summer.. I still felt disgusted with myself, like I was extremely overweight whenever I looked in the mirror or a picture not taken by me. I looked back on photos of me then and I didn't appear to be overweight at all. After that summer tho the starving would continue but then I would give into food again and eat until I felt I couldn't, (i didn't purge tho) but i would feel so much pain from being too full, and then it would go back to starving again and the cycle of that still continues.. I'm trying to work on it though.
Yes I know because I knew that purging can ruin ur esophagus and teeth. I couldn't purge after that and even stopped my cousin from purging. She is still struggling with eating tho. She doesn't like feeling full like Jennette said.
@@babiegat oh God the embarrassed to ask for food part is so real. Because so many times adults don't realize but end up criticizing our normal eating. And that ends up making is hyper aware of how we eat around people,even having shame around that. I'm sorry u had to go thru that. No person should have to. Cause eating gives us nutrition,energy and dopamine at times. You shouldn't feel ashamed of fulfill ur need. Or be shamed for not eating enough.
I put on 40lbs over 2 yrs n when I went to visit my in-laws I couldn’t help but notice my MIL only ever offered my husband breakfast and dessert 😆 I actually was floored when it became obvious
As a fat person who has struggled with ED their entire life, I wanna thank you for pointing this out. It seems like no one really cares about someone struggling with an eating disorder when you're fat: they congratulate you and push you harder instead. Most of the symptoms of ED listed in the doc just describe diet culture as a whole. It's toxic and needs to stop.
Miranda did say in an interview that she didn’t know as a kid. Ariana probably didn’t know either cause she was doing other stuff. Besides that they didn’t get alone during their time at first. However I’m glad Dan is getting the bad rep being spread. I did know about the nasty thing he did behind sets & to his cast which was disgusting
It's very clear he did this to all of them. Took advantage of these young girls in all the clips I've seen. Especially Amanda Bynes.
Ariana has always rubbed me the wrong way because she has never spoken on anything despite the fact that her character was probably the worst one of all. I think she wants to separate herself but at the same time fees indebted to Nickelodeon. Or maybe she just took the hush money.
@@mellyr2584 you’re spreading rumors. she was sexualized same as the rest of them, lost mac, went through a terrorist attack-everyone heals in their own way. I can’t fathom why you act like spreading shit like this brings you gossip-joy.
Who cares, it's about Jeannette. To each their own, I think it's more important to focus in Jeannette
@@mellyr2584 Ariana didn’t care as long as she benefitted from it. She didn’t care about the abuse and unfair treatment cause she was treated better and made more money for being favored.
“What a friend” 😑
I am a victim of mdsa. I'm leaving out a lot of details for my own peace of mind. I ran away from home last November 6 and when through the long legal battle to try to get justice. I screamed when I found out "there wasn't enough evidence and the case would be dropped. I turned 17 5 days ago. even when reported, who's gonna believe a mother would abuse her daughter.
I used to watch nickelodeon all the time as a kid. its absolutely disgusting to think of all the evil behind the scenes. I feel for the kids that had to endure it. I hope they heal.
That last line she said “I chose the path of integrity” omg..so powerful and so true I’ve always thought that of how she handled everything
I also would like to say that cancer is absolutely not something I wish on anyone.
However if anyone was to pass away of it, it should be abusers. My mothers abuser passed from brain cancer and I can’t say I wasn’t happy when he did, he terrorised us for years and got away with it rather easily. God knows how many more women he abused before he passed.
Yeah glad your mom is free of him.
@@tiffprendergast yeah me too, and I don’t feel a sliver of sadness for his family who helped him get away with his crimes for years lol
My narc father died of brain cancer. I was actually relieved, but at first I was so anxious cause I thought the family would place blame on me.
@@izzylandyt im sorry you had to go through that but that’s what I love with Jeanette, that she actually talks about how you can feel guilty for being glad that someone you know passed away. It’s a very taboo thing to say you’re happy someone died but at the end of the day we can’t control how we feel. Hope you’re okay today ❤️
@@casrrole I’m not okay unfortunately. So much damage has been done, and I’m all alone. My few close friends are in different countries and I can only connect to them through internet. I managed to find a place and job though, making a bit more than before. However, I’m fighting to pay rent and I have limited energy. I can’t sleep right, can’t think, or move properly. I’m struggling to lose weight, and I’m unstable. I almost snapped or had a seizure just from trying to fold clothes (retail job) and interacting with so many people. Meanwhile folks out here demand I put in more energy and be positive when I’m running on empty. Lots of taking but no giving. At least the job I work at currently is a bit flexible and patient with me. But I’ll never be the same again. Nothing will really help me at this point - except maybe getting enough funds for rent, bills, and food, and given the chance to meet my close friends in person.
So excited for this!! I've been listening to the audio book, only halfway through, and I'm already so shocked at her story. It's ridiculous how she's being shamed for coming out with this story too. Thank you for covering this!
Who shamed her.
@@tiffprendergast there was some outrage for the title of her book and the cover, that she shouldn't say it. When you read her book though it's hard to imagine not empathizing with her. It's a very harrowing story
I am another individual who had that horrible unspeakable thought of "I am relieved my mom died." I've never been able to say it outloud because it is just such an unspeakable thing to say. When you grow up with an abusive, mentally ill narcissist, you never learn to do what makes you happy or free, you only live to please the narcissist. They mold you as a child in a way that is so abnormal that when you finally hit the real world its friends and co-workers who are usually like, "Uhm you realize this isn't normal?" My mom introduced me into active pain killer addiction when I was 14 after a surgery where I was prescribed pain killers for a span of two years....at 14. I didnt have a chance. It was my friends and my now wonderful husband who aided me to normalcy. When I read the title of this book, I never so closely related to anything.
Jenette reminds me of Carrie Fisher. The way she tells her story with the pain and the laughs, and a one woman show - definitely could be the next Carrie. Great doc Swoop.
This type of thing has been going on in the industry since Judy Garland was a child, every child star has a terrible story to tell. Simplified, it's horrendous.
Poor Shirley temple 😢
I think every star as a story
Her performance on SVU is still one of the best kid performances on that show. She is talented I feel so bad for her 😢
All I thought about when it came to the SA she faced in her real life how disgusting it was to have her play a victim of SA on a show.
@@x..Daddy..x I doubt the svu directors knew about all that since I’m p sure that was b4 nick
Did you see her on Medium? She was so good in that too.
I never knew foot fetishes existed until I got to college. The fact that these fetishes seem common makes it extra disturbing that Nick just let it go. SOMEONE IMPORTANT HAD TO KNOW.
Are they that common? I've never experienced a real life foot fetishist
@@zanderisamazing5043 I have 💀💀 I know two people who have a foot fetish
Same with fat fetish 😱
Omgosh. Feet gross me out. I would NOT do well in a relationship with someone having a foot fetish 🤢
Honestly for a while it made me angry with myself because when I recognized the interest my brain was like goddamnit Schneider cottony. But then I actually bother to understand what it is that drew me to it it’s a power dynamic and involves my submission. However I’m not submitting to anyone they have to earn that right
So I’m a new watcher, but I wanted to say that I loved Jeannette’s book. I have it on audible and hearing her read it was rough because I’m also recovering from an E.D. It’s the roughest part of my day everyday and while hearing it was slightly triggering it was so nice to hear someone else experienced the same thing I do. I know everyone says that, but it really does feel like you’re on an island by yourself. Love you Jeannette💜 And thank you SWOOP for the kind words and support
I just finished her book in one day...today. It really hit home with me how conflicted you can feel when your abuser is also someone you love and depend on. Good book. I am so happy she is healing and moving forward and doing life on her own terms. ❤️
It really disturbing to me that news outlets say "Her mom gave her 'exams' until she was a teenager" when really it should be "Her mom gave her 'exams' until she was nearly an adult" because when I (and most people) see that, I think till 12-13 not until 17
I was waiting for you to discuss this memoir, I just finished it and it really was a tragic read that was phenomenally written
Good things come to those who wait.
I started college when iCarly ended, but I grew up with many of Schneider's other shows on Nickelodeon and feet jokes were prominent. Even then I thought it was really weird and off-putting to have so many running gags surrounding feet throughout these shows long before I knew about sex or fetishes. Unfortunately, now that I understand those things, the feet related jokes and running gags take on a much more disgusting aspect as well as an understanding why those "jokes" were there in the first place. Not because kids really think toes and feet are funny, but because Dan Schneider is a creep.
"like an out of body experience"
Yup, 25 years later and it never truly goes away. Was standing in line at a gas station 4 years ago and a drunk dude came up behind me REALLY close and started talking to me. my entire body froze and it took me back to "those times". had to hurry back to my truck cuz i was about to have a full blown panic attack. It was the first time it was that severe.
As someone who had an abusive mother with visions of grandure, I'd love to read Jenette's book. I can only imagine how much worse she had it, I hope she's recovered and doing well. And I hope she's an inspiration to other daughters being abused by their mothers. It "IS" o.k to be glad your mother isn't in your life sometimes.
Edit: really tired of the title "mother" or even "father" being literally the only reason for enduring sick, cruel treatment.
“Delusions of grandeur “
@@alivewithchrist777 Christ wouldnt hear a story of abuse and be like UMM YOU SPELLED A WORD WRONG but okay
I've been debating whether to get her book or not since I'm not usually a fan of auto/biographies. However, I'm now the owner of the Kindle and audio versions.
My heart goes out to her. I felt trapped enough when I was abused by a guy who was, essentially, my stepbrother. My mother was my biggest advocate. I don't know where I'd be if the person violating my trust and boundaries was my mother.
I remember I met her at our local mall during a meet n greet and we waiting so long and were so excited and Jennette looked SO said when she signed our photo and take a photo...so heartbreaking to think she was hurting inside 🥺
What a horrendous betrayal of the gift granted to a woman when she becomes a mother.
The love of money truly is the root of all evil. Hollywood is hell on earth.
It is heartbreaking, but I am so thankful for all the bravery these people are showing by speaking their Truth, doubly so to Jennette.
We've always known about the horrors going on in Hollywood, but with the internet, we can 100%, clear-as-crystal, see it for ourselves.
I pray that the Truth continues to be told.
14:58 - 26:30
for my fellow ed survivors and those in recovery, the mentions of triggering topics specific to jenette’s eating disorder are between these times. you are loved, and you deserve to nourish your beautifully unique body. ❤️
Hmmm? I am loved, by who exactly? A stranger on the internet who never met me before? Please... stop this hollow pandering. It's embarrassing.
@@cocogoat1111 and who hurt you, exactly? goddamn.
Thank you so much!!!! I was so scared to watch this, you have no idea how grateful I am. ❤️❤️❤️🩷❤️🩷❤️🩷❤️🩷❤️🩷❤️🩷❤️🩷🥹🥹
@@cocogoat1111 this reply is what's embarrassing tbh
just boosting this
I've tried really hard to get through this doc and once again swoop you've covered it so incredibly well. But I've spent days trying to watch it, and days processing and thinking about things and coming to terms with the fact that my own mother has done more than I had really realized. Eye opening doc for sure... And I wonder how many others are now seeing what they've been through
you will overcome!
I am not a survivor of MDSA (and yeah, typing that out was very difficult and I couldn't do it), but I am a survivor of verbal and emotional abuse from my mother, and even that is hard to deal with. Moms are supposed to love you no matter what; when they don't, when they abuse you in any way, you question yourself - why did that happen, was it because I was bad, what is wrong with me? I'm so glad this is being exposed, so that people can get the help they need. Thank you, SWOOP.
Why did it make me tear up to hear Swoop express concern over EDs among nonbinary and trans people? It makes me so happy to hear you see and know us, Idk sorry that just made me really happy!
I see and love you all! I hope research and data catches up to better reflect and be more inclusive when talking about challenging topics. So much more we need to do!
story time. I got my period at age 9, and had my appendix removed at 12 in an emergency surgery at 2 am. Doctors convinced it had ruptured….. Only there was nothing wrong with my appendix, it was period cramps. I don’t wish that pain on any one!!!
9??!
OMG 😱 I’m so sorry! Me…15 or 16, and never that bad!
Oh well at least you'll never have to suffer the pain of appendicitis 😊
I also got my period at 9-10, people always get shocked over it lol. Never had your kind of pains though. Genetics are a funny thing.
One if my cousins had the exact opposite of this happen. Her cramps were so awful that when her appenix ruptured she thought it was cramps and didn’t want to go to the dr who had always ignored her pain before then.
Jennette has suffered through so much, none of which she deserved. I am in awe of her resilience and bravery, and I'm so glad to hear that she's happier and healthier now. I'm glad she had Miranda to support her. I completely agree that she's chosen a path of integrity, and I'm wishing her the best in the future 💜
my mother forbid me from taking showers alone till I was 15 and on multiple occasions violated my privacy and touched me inappropriately a few times, its been hard to cope with that cause she was otherwise very abusive as well, I thought we could maybe mend our relationship but that will NEVER happen.
Savy Writes Books did a great review of her book, contrasting it with Jamie Lynn Spears book, and I am once again plugging Jennette’s own TY channel as well
I know savy personally! We had a great talk recently about the book and she really got me excited for whenever i get the chance to read it. Truly a quality human
Thank you for covering this one SWOOP. I’m looking forward to watching this on YOUR channel as you do so much research. I’ve seen other “docs” on this but so much is missing from them. I know you got us covered.
I’m wondering how Amanda wasn’t enough to expose the effects, I’m so thankful for Jennette for exposing this all finally because Ik other were scared too and I’m so happy she did (no offense or harm to those who couldn’t or were scared too) and I pray that not just Jennette but EVERY survivor of Dan Shithole
The Olsen twins tried for years to tell the truth, but think about media from about 2000-2012 or so. We constantly saw magazines make fun of how skinny the twins were & mock Amanda for “ballooning up.” Anyone trying to speak up was called entitled & unappreciative. Even when Brittney had a very public break down magazines ate that shit up.
@@nikkydalby7126 I never knew the Olson twins tried, either way I’m happy that it’s finally getting out and the attention it deserves
Amanda went a little crazy and drug obsessed (less her, now that I know the reasons why she did, but I used to think she was a crazy woman until i learned the real story) and Jeanette just seemed more like a believable person, and it also happened in the 2000s for Jeanette so, it was also easier for her to get people to listen. Amanda was also not as fussed over, or seen as "attractive' as Jeanette was, so pretty privilege plays into it.
@@jocelynecupcake it does as well as contract issues and power imbalances, pretty privilege play into it as well as reputations in the media, I feel for Amanda given that she went through a lot and I feel that she went through some things with Dan as well, also with the drug addiction I’m guessing Amanda went through and is dealing with, people tend to box and disrespect addicts and make them out to be awful snd disposable people and Jennette never went through that so this whole thing is just so fucked up in many ways, pretty privilege is another add on
When you read the symptoms of ED and spoke about speaking to your loved ones... I cried. I have recovered from my multiple ED's but like Jenette mine was started by my caregiver, and in the 90s early 00s skinny was in. So we all strived to be invisible. Thank you for being so sweet about it. I am recovered but somedays it does feel like I am still recovering because I still have to watch myself
as a survivor os csa and further sa growing up, i legitimately cannot fathom how absolutely soul crushing it would be for my mother to be the person who sa'd me. my mom and i have a strained relationship due to other factors growing up... but when i began to open up about my sa, she was and still is someone i go to for comfort. without that safety blanket of my mother's love and hugs and understanding, i know i wouldn't be where i am today.
Once again you covered a sensitive topic with integrity, sensitivity, and humor. Thank you.
I hope you are treating yourself well - it cannot be easy delving into these topics.
💜 Thank you for mentioning men in your eating disorder stats. Being in love with a man who has struggled with cyclical anorexia-bulimia his entire adult life, it still took a couple years after he met me to finally admit he has an eating disorder. I think the male stats are even higher but they are less likely to get help as they are more likely to be in the orthorexia camp (due to male body ideals) which, let's be honest, the medical association deems "healthy" *and* EDs are wrongfully considered "women's issues". Recovery is possible though. He hasn't binged in months despite some major life stressors. All those struggling similarly, you and him are all worthy of recovery. Don't give up. You will fall but you can get back up again and I hope you can cultivate a community of support to uplift you when you struggle
My dad has some trouble with food when I was younger. I don't know if it counted as a disorder, or just unhealthy. So I believe that a large portion of men do struggle with their relationship with food. My dad is better now, he's been eating healthy, and eating less, and it's made him really proud of himself. I wish your boyfriend the best of luck, whatever he decides to do with his body.
Icarly was my entire childhood and Sam had actually been a character I adored (and likely had a small celebrity crush on, looking back on it now). I was never aware of of the red flags when I was a teen, obviously, but when all this started coming out, all the signs were there, and it's gross to think back on all that stuff I missed.
I'm glad Jeanette is in a better place now, she's living her best life, but damn. She deserves better, and so does many of the child actors who are exploited and abused.
The entertainment industry needs to be better regulated, watched, ESPECIALLY when it comes to children actors and their rights.
I'm so proud of Jennette. With every problem, she pushed through and rose above.
JUST LIKE YOU!
I can confidently say, if I didn't stumble across your videos, I'd still be in a toxic abusive family and in active addiction! YOU'RE AN AMAZING PERSON THAT THE WORLD NEEDS MORE OF! THANK YOU!!
Honestly it’s genuinely the worst feeling having your own mother be awful, I’ve got physical and emotional scars from her. Yet no one believed me that she was a bad person I told them about how she slapped me and screamed at me and made me feel so awful about myself and I got told I was being dramatic, took my brother saying that she made him feel like a literal prisoner and made him only eat ramen noodles like once a day because he didn’t take the garbage out… she had him convinced that was normal. I’m genuinely glad she isn’t really in my life and my siblings are in way better living situation
I’m so sorry ❤️
Omg swoop you’re gonna make this blow up.
Good for her!
Her book was incredible. Youre brilliant as always Swoop and i appreciate your outrage on her behalf. For additional context, her mother was also a hoarder. Most of their house was filled with her stuff. So her whole family slept on mats in the living room. I think that adds dimension to how she never had her own space.
Her mom also put her on a rigorous dance training regimen to give her a "competitive edge" shortly before she started calorie restriction.
I've heard her say that she's not proud of her work or her past projects, which both saddened and angered me. Because she was a great actress and she can't enjoy the satisfaction of her past work. She also said that writing always made her feel safe. I'm happy she's found the freedom to dedicate herself to what makes her happy and follow her own dreams.
I had some professional photos taken of my daughter. The company that took them was affiliated with a modelling agency. They tried for 7 months to get me to sign my 3 year old baby to their company they even tried to entice me by a free portfoilio for her and even a car to pick us up and bring us home as I don't drive. I steadfastly refused to have my daughter put into that horrible world. I worked in television and did photographic modelling when I was a teenager. There wasn't all the money in the world that would have entertained the idea of letting my daughter into that horrible horrible world.
FINALLY, a completely respectful, empathetic and factual video on what Jennette has gone through. Unlike some who didn’t bother to read the book, you made an entire documentary that spoke her words exactly how she intended. Thank you for your intelligent, empathetic words on SA and EDs, I have struggled to find UA-camrs who speak on the subject with as much understanding and poise as you, even therapists. I will be subscribing.
it's sad in a way, her legacy, what Debby will be remembered most for will be a book and play telling all the horrible secrets she tried to hide about how she hurt the person who loved her so completely and whole heartedly. I can't imagine a better karma.
Over the last week I've realized I just escaped a sexually abusive relationship, and honestly this video is so reassuring with SWOOP being so supportive of people who have experienced this stuff. Thank you, SWOOP, thank you so much.
Suddenly realizing that’s what you’ve been experiencing can be such an intense feeling. Be kind to yourself! I’m so glad you escaped. ❤️ and remember that having moments of sadness is NOT weakness, it is okay to sit with your feelings for a minute. You are so strong.
i actually never knew jeanette had ocd. being in a horrible home+ battling ocd had to have been so exhausting.
i have ocd, and it is horrid, i literally wouldnt wish it on anyone. i feel for her sm :(
This kind of thing has been constantly on my mind since I found out I was going to be a mother soon.
Obviously what Jeanette went though was abuse, awful, and shouldn’t have happened. I just worry about what to do for my own child.
Jeanette didn’t want to act but was forced to to please her mother. My parents were the opposite, I never really stuck with any of the endeavors I tried because I would get bored or it got too hard and I just decided to stop and my parents let me. Piano lessons, martial arts, gymnastics, science clubs, leadership work, art classes…all things I tried and now wish I was good at but young me was restless and didn’t want to practice or stick by anything and my parents just let me stop… and I wish they hadn’t done that…I wish I had been pushed to finish something, continue working on a craft or skill I tried instead of giving up over and over again.
Now I feel like I have no talents, no skills, and I don’t want my children to feel so far behind and have gotten though so much of life with nothing to show for it.
So what do I do? Take my parents approach and just hope my child has enough self-motivation to stick though something they like and want? But what if they come to resent me for not pushing them to be the best they can be? I don’t know, I’m so stressed out about this and my baby is coming soon. I just don’t know what to do.
I have a very strong feeling that you’re going to be a FANTASTIC parent! The fact that you’ve considered all this already shows you’ve got this! Don’t stress about it you’re “doing it right”. My most important memory from growing up was simply that my mom was there, and supportive with whatever I tried. I would venture to guess that exposing your child to a variety of things will nurture their ability to try and find out over time what they like. And there’s no clock on you and finding your passions! I just started making these docs a year ago and found a love for it! It’s all in your time! Just breathe and enjoy the moments, all will work out in your time 💙
I don't want to come off as rude, but I have adhd and I ger anxious for other people when they list symptoms that I relate to.
So because I would have been happy if someone pushed me in that direction before I got my diagnosis;
Have you thought about talking to a therapist about this?
Because truly, I don't know you, your context, your personality or your traumas, the ones you're aware of and the ones hidden beneath a surface. Maybe there is something to the thing where you have never finished what you started, because I don't think parents can really have that much influence, and I generally think everyone should at least once in their life see a therapist to just adopt this coping pattern of not feeling cornered by your future but instead starting to think that no matter what comes, you'd be able to handle it.
Especially now that you will be a mom, I feel like even if I had advice for you, this is such an individual and sensitive topic, I don't think I should mess with it and give an opinion on it when I don't personally know you and have an idea what you think is best for you. You deserve true happiness, is all I will tell you, and you are good enough to achieve it as long as you don't lose your goal. I wish you the best on this journey.
@@PettyUniversity Thank you, that was so sweet of you to say. I think I am just on overdrive panic since I am 9 weeks from my delivery date.
I have been panicking about a lot of things. I really do appreciate what you said though. I suppose I also do appreciate that my parents were there to talk to me and let me explore my interests and I do want that for my child as well. I will try to be more positive about it.
Thank you again. 💜
@@corneliahanimann2173 Thank you for your very kind words. 💙I started tearing up as I read your response. You did not come off as rude at all, thank you for your compassionate response.
I don't want to get into all of my issues or anything...but I will say that my husband has expressed similar thoughts to me about seeing a therapist and speaking to them. He has recently been to therapy and said that it was very helpful. So, I have been thinking about it.
I do want to say that I appreciate all of your kind words and your response. I wish you the best as well, you are truly a wonderful person.
Remember that a child is a human being like anyone else. We all cope differently, and develop at different rates. Don’t put your shortcomings or high expectations on your child. Don’t take your frustrations out on them either.
Watching this now after quiet on set. I LOVE that swoop always includes additional information and resources for mental health issues. She’s done it in every video I’ve watched. The encouragement and love she pours into the audience is beautiful. Keep doin what you do swoop. We love you! 🫶
Talking about the SA by the mom reminded me of Rudy Farias and how he told Quanell X about the SA he suffered, but immediately retracted it being SA and the confusion around how he was feeling about it was so clear. I wish she would be charged but she won't be
while I didn't face the same type or severity of abuse that jennette did, my mother spent my first 30 years of life emotionally and mentally abusing me, sometimes turning it physical but it was mostly mental. I am also a survivor, and I am also someone who has had to deal with my mother getting a terminal illness as she was diagnosed with alzheimer's years ago. I have become her full time caregiver, and it has been emotionally draining. following jennette's story lately has made me realize that there are so many of us who have been hurt by the person who is supposed to protect us. of course I knew it before, but hearing someone being so open about it, someone I had no idea was going through it, made it real somehow. I'm so glad she made it to the other side and was able to share her story, it will help SO many people.
MDSA part really freaked me out. As I child I once asked for milk not knowing I was too big to be breast fed and my mother did it anyways and I remember as a kid thinking wait there's no milk why are we still doing this. Geez man
This problem is so entrenched in the celebrity side of things it’s disgusting and their lack of accountability is frightening. This isn’t just a problem in Hollywood, it’s also a problem in the music industry and the two overlap frequently.
I will never ever forget the first time actor Corey Feldman spoke up about it and how hard they tried to silence him. It stuck with me and I mention it as frequently as I can. Britney Spears is another victim of the machine. But their insistence on pretending it doesn’t exist is so disgusting.
Remember Jeffrey Epstein had his fingers in a LOT of businesses including Hollywood. Oh, and let’s not forget it’s a problem in the UK as well. They had their own in Jimmy Seville who was abusing children since the 70s and his crimes were exposed after his death. (Not that it wasn’t known. It was VERY well known) Kevin Spacey’s alleged crimes reminds me of Seville. They need to hold these people accountable!
This also happens outside of the entertainment industry and sometimes they happen within families where the predator(s) aren't held accountable and there's usually a few relatives acting as if nothing ever happened.
Remember Epstein had previously been a teacher at the super elite Dalton school in NYC.
And that his close friend’s wife was so disturbed by her husband’s relationship with Epstein that she divorced him...she just waited until after Epstein died & her husband had effectively convinced the world to submit to his designs (Bill & Melinda Gates; she filed only after a public show of solidarity wrt c-19...measures).
We all know the entertainment industry is dirty. But few know the same is true of the SCIENCE world (especially medical & pharmaceutical industrial complex) at the highest levels.
@@psychegoddessoflight9358 Sadly, I did not know of that... no... wait... no, you're right. I have heard of several "scientific" studies that are seriously questionable and was involved in one study when I was in elementary school that they JUST even acknowledged. I used to tell people about it but since it wasn't so wide spread nor well known... I always wondered if I had just imagined the entire thing.
That was until a few years ago... when I was watching the nightly news and they spoke about a study that was done... 30 years ago and the study wasn't named but when they described the type of study that they did... I felt so vindicated. I turned to my grandmother and I told her all about my experience with such a study. She has a degree in psychology and she was very angry for me because of the psychological damage that they inflicted on children like me.
We were told it was just a simple test on emotions and self-esteem in children, however, I was one of the children that was seen negatively. My answers were indicated to be concerning. Now, some psychologists say that my answers were normal for my environment and had nothing to do with my actual psychology. Yeah... adults can do some serious damage to children.
I just wanted to say thank you for your compassion and candor in discussing the mdsa issue. I can not tell you how powerful it was to see that discussed openly and not treated as a thing that does not exist. As a survivor of mdsa who was not believed as a child and is often not believed as an adult (I cannot tell you how often I've heard "a mother wouldn't do that"), it is so wonderful to feel seen and heard. Also, thank you so much for posting resources. I have been on my healing journey for several decades now and it's these sorts of resources that are invaluable. And to other survivors out there, I'm sorry that you experienced this and you are not alone. May light shine in the darkness that this creates for us and may you find a path out of it. Thank you again, Swoop. I always appreciate your empathy and compassion for dv and sa survivors, but never comment because I honestly find it terrifying to comment in public spaces. But this hit home hard and I really wanted to say thank you. 💖
Not to mention that Nick actually tried to ruin her reputation and destroy her to discredit her suffering on the studio.... I always felt for her and loved her...I hope she is doing well and is able to get passed these horrors and start living the best life the one she deserves
Such a powerful doc. I am 45 and still learn so much from you. You are amazing and handle every topic you touch with compassion, love and grace with the perfect splashes of petty. I can’t wait for my white Petty sweatshirt ❤️
Her story hits a little too close to home for me. I grew up in a religious setting (which caused an extreme amount of trauma for me), my mom was a teenager when she had me so she brought me into her pre-existing eating disorder when I was about 8 or 9. I remember weighing myself everyday and drinking "K20" which I haven't been able to find in a very long time, but I was constantly told triple digits was bad.... things got vastly worse and as dark as you could imagine and when I was 16 she kicked me out, when I was 17 I moved 1,000 miles away, which still isn't far enough for me. I haven't gotten a copy of her book yet but I love the title. I think it's important to acknowledge that not every parent is loving and caring. Not every uterus donor is a mother.
I've suffered from anorexia since middle school and even though it's wildly embarrassing to do so, since eating around others is very common, I've have brought up and told everyone I eat around my issues. Not ad nauseum and not continually, but everyone in my family (especially my husband) is aware of my problem so I cannot quietly fall back into bad habits, which try as I might, will always happen if I think I can get away with it. So I make it incredibly difficult to get away with it.
I know that won't work for everyone because it is embarrassing and it took me years to come to terms with it myself, much less sharing with others, but if you can I do recommend broadcasting it to those around you just once so they can help if they notice you need help
I had no idea Jeanette was suffering like me! Not only do I have an overly controlling mother but I also had/have anorexia. This is the year I chose to finally do something about it, hearing about her recovery will help motivate me to recover myself. I'm so glad she is doing better now and I feel for her and anyone else going through this too. Thank you for talking about this Swoop!
Reading the last chapter of her book made me want to cry with happiness and pride for a woman I’ve never even met. She was so open and real about her journey that seeing the progress she’s made was so incredible.
This poor woman was put through *actual hell* for the first couple decades of her life, but she was still able to build a beautiful life for herself. I really hope that her success can be an inspiration to other people that healing from trauma and treating mental illnesses is possible, and that, while the road to recovery is full of bumps and setbacks, the life you hope for is still possible.
Good luck to anyone out there battling an ED, or recovering from abuse, coping with SA. You deserve to heal and have a wonderful life, too ❤
Thank you for bringing attention to ED's and providing resources to those affected. I had an eating disorder for MANY years, and I know how awful and isolating it can be, and it literally ruins ur life. The scary part is you dont even realize how bad it is when ur in the midst of things until ur on the other side and look back on ur old behaviors. Please, if any of you have a bad relationship with food, dont let it get too far, thats how it all starts ❤
I am glad you are covering this. I bought the book and was already pissed off at her mother before I even got to chapter 5.
You quoted Mr. Hunter S. Thompson, and that just made me love you a thousand times more! As always, amazing job on this doc! You do an amazing job bringing issues to light as well as a way for people to learn and get help.
I can relate a bit to this. When my father (abuser) died it was such a conflicting grieving process. I even though I went no contact almost twenty years ago I was both sad and relieved at the same time. I was relieved that he was gone and finally felt safe but also sad. I have some good memories of him and I mourned the father he was in those memories.