You Are The Average Of The Five People You Spend The Most Time With
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- Опубліковано 25 сер 2018
- Who do you spend the most time with? Who are the people you most admire? Are those two groups of people the same?
Why not?
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Book mentioned:
The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy
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Further information:
The Difference: Living Well vs. Living Great: / the-difference-living-...
Figuring Out What It Means To Win The Game Of Life: / figuring-out-how-to-wi...
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This was initially published as an article on Medium.com by Maarten van Doorn: / you-are-the-average-of...
Author: Maarten van Doorn | maartenvandoorn.com/
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"First Who, Then What: Get the right people on the bus, then figure out where to go." - Jim C. Collins
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Book mentioned:
The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy
BUY THE BOOK ON AMAZON: geni.us/XS6O
---
Further information:
The Difference: Living Well vs. Living Great: medium.com/the-polymath-project/the-difference-living-well-vs-living-great-4b0ebfa7662d
Figuring Out What It Means To Win The Game Of Life: medium.com/the-polymath-project/figuring-out-how-to-win-the-game-of-life-1f98fea9fa7c
Nice video. Pls what is the name of the soundtrack at the end of this video. I like the music
I've spent way too much time with folks who have latched onto me, or people who I have to be around out of obligation, and not enough time with people I actually admire. I'm making that change!
I had haters and envious people around me who secretly sabotaged me..I had developed low self esteem as a result...people we surround us with play a huge part in our lives...they can build us up or completely change the course of our destiny...
i feel u dude
That is absolutely true that the people around us greatly influence us. This is why it's extremely important that we choose friends who are positive and bring us joy in life as opposed to Debbie Downer who bring us down with them.
Well someone might be a Debbie downer because they aren't mentally okay or they are depressed, then you just need to support them
What should I do?? Should I leave my house or what ?🥺🤣
Too true. It can be very isolating to move forward through life while shedding dead weight but it is so important to be in control of your peer group.
Great advice! Emotions are infectious. If you spend all your time around negative people, you will always feel down and not accomplish much.
That's why i don't like people who gossip negatively, always complaining, blaming, feeling victimized, negative outlook... It's so exausting to be around with them.
Spending my time with this channel. I have no real person/mentor to look up to for success.
good choice.
I'm in the same boat. We need to look harder.
Same
try Marie Forleo, Tony Robbins, Mel Robbins, Lavendaire, mucchelleb, Casey Neistat, Peter McKinnon, Matt D´Avella, other "real" people... they´re on youtube as well, but "real people" if you know what I mean... at least it´s easier to think of them as role models, because you see their faces, etc :)
This is so true! We must consciously filter the people we let into our life. Never settle for less than you deserve and always try to be surrounded with people that are ahead of you because that will make you improve.
If they all shared the same philosophy, then they wouldn't want to spend time with you. See what I'm saying?
Although this is quite a widely circulated rule, most people still make it to be a very trivial one, it seems. Yes, we can easily see how the people we spend our time with have an effect in shaping our lives, but changing your close knit circle is VERY difficult, for a variety of reasons. So, if you have a mentality that hungers for success and is at odds with the closest 5 people around you, it does not mean you are doomed. Instead, use this rule to your advantage.
For example, read and listen to audiobooks and podcasts all the time. Instead of chatting about useless things, listening to music all the time, binge watching TV series, replace all of them with audiobooks and podcasts. Such that the 5 people you spend the most time with listening to and thinking about become the giants of history.
Shreeyam Dahal wonderfully articulated
We also influence those around us. And weirdly I think we can choose our friends but only to an extent. I'm quite socially awkward but my best friends weren't chosen we just clicked. So I think if we don't choose who we like, to find the best people for ourself we ought to surround ourselves in the places we would likely find others who are there to push and support us.
I also think our friends influence us more than we think. For example, if they all smoke or do drugs but we don't, we wouldn't exactly move to drugs but would probably have a less serious view about drugs. Which can be good and bad, as we would be open minded to an extent. If our friends looked down on education a lot, we can still study, but from experience, it would make us take studying a bit less serious than if they did as we would have a thought on the back of our minds on if they are somehow right to not take education seriously. And if we truly disagree with them but don't word it, would we be able to be friends or to be really authentic with them?
Well put
Timeless lessons,so worth to learn in young age.
You're right. Your networks are your net worth. So, choose the right people to network with.
I'm a loner, who lives with my family mother, elder brother and a father who lives in our village. I have a miserable life for 34 years now.
did it get better?
Hi
Surround your speed with people you admire, the people who already are what you want to become. These people have already experienced the things you’re going to experience on your journey and can help you avoid the mistakes they made.
The real question becomes: where to find those people, any thoughts?
Surround your speed!? 🤦🏾♂️ *yourself
James Travis I have found them at meet-up groups and networking groups.
this channel will hit 100k subscribers so freaking fast! i am excited that i'm not the only one who values self improvement and spreads the knowledge 😉
Back again with the stellar quality content RIGHT before I sleep :)
Wow! I knew this already, but I didn't know that the influence was that powerful.
What if the people you spend the most amount of time with are also the people you don't want to spend time with? For instance same household members.
I usually dont like these inspirational videos, but of course this is a great must watch.
Thanks!
This is the truest thing on UA-cam.
Prior to me starting my agribusiness, I spent time with community friends and my family members. The moment I started it, my interactions with farmers, entrepreneurs, corporate executives increased. This changed my mindset, from a complacent people's man to an ambitious businessman.
Bravo! Such great content. Thanks team!
Love it, thank you
I love this video!! Thank you!🙏🏻❤️
Very good message for me. Thanks for your video.😀
Now I know that I have to get divorced hahaha
Martin Nicolas Selave if ya spouse is real negative or weighing you down its time for a divorce.
Martin Nicolas Selave fact. Do it. I did.👍🏼
lol is this what married life is like?
Haa haa better sharpen the axd
The Art of Improvement is one of these 5, definitely 🤩
I admire you and your content.
So important man
There should be more videos about this subject and more people speaking about this thing in their keynotes. Apparently is an easy subject, common sense pretty much. Reality is very different. It might be not super difficult to find the right people, but it's super hard to eliminate the ones who became poisonous for your existence. Especially if they are family. And it's always someone from your family as well :)
Good point!
This is #TheoryOf5 thinking love it. Awesome Book
Thank you for your uplifting Channel. 😊
Yes, the right or wrong people can make or break you when times are hard...
I have learnt this the hard way.
yes, we all have influence ....
Birds of a feather flock together.
Yes, time for changes......
I am creating positive changes.....
Utube Mentors Channels.
+Co workers,Bosses.
Mentors and Role Models.
great video
Thank you 😊
4:21 Surround yourself with people you admire
"Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are" -- Twain.
When I find 5 people that want to hang out with me on a regular basis, I’ll keep this in mind. Probably not going to be a worry in this life 😜
like will be given.
It feels like a math equation now...
Product of your family, factored by theirs and their environment.
Sum of your friends, along with theirs.
Difference of your trials and challenges.
Quotient of your realizations.
Your efforts and the decisions you've made equate to your exponent.
... but the difference is, the values constantly change for each one.
Also, the equation does not end until you die.
How can I get those 5 people in my life?
It's more easy than you think. 1. Keep watching motivational videos like this one. Look for Tony Robbins, Evan Carmichael, Dan Sullivan and so many more. 2. Make a list of who you would like to mingle with because you admire something of them. Get closer by telling them just this. Call them, write to them. 3. Do another list of people who are toxic who make you feel worst- and distant yourself from them, lessen your interactions and bonds with them. Make yourself be respected. 4. Increase your self-esteem by designing your new you. I will recommend Benjamin Hardy's book "Personality isn't permanent" to build yourself a new Pinay. 5.Always have in mind if there is a Will there is a Way!
I'm in self improvement process. My friend only wants to play Video games, if i talk to him about taking risks or doing anything else just for grow as a person, he turns conversation back to video games. Its so exhausting.
Napoleon Hill this group of people surrounding and influencing you the "Master Mind" team. Very convincing!
be the bubble that lifts the other ones up, the support raindrop on the car window
Well, often the people you spend most time with is co-workers. You hardly choose them.
I love my friends :)
Isn't it better to say that i am the average of my own environment? Since that i can see people on the internet and become like-minded like them?
Watzegik Datzegik true . Your influences make you who you are . The things you like to watch . The things you like to do the choices you make . The people you keep the closest to , etc.
This is exactly right. I'm surrounded by bad role models and people who have gave up on life.
Books = we get the brightest role models.
2:40 Associate with people that hold you to a higher standard 4:26 Surround yourself with people you admire
I hangout with myself and I admire no one, I'm fucked
So i thought its about the 5 closests friends, but this is wrong.
Its about the people generaly.
I realize know, that even your parents and other familymembers are included.
This is a very big change. Thanks
Four kids and a wife.
awww that's really wholesome! I bet your kids and wife are beautiful inside and out!!!
♥
Why not? Because friendships are way more complicated than you make them sound. I could meet someone who is just the way I want to be and not get along with them at all. Or have no interest in spending time with them. Or they with me. You don't consciously choose friends.
Does it include people that are only physically around you or this can include people who are not physically around you but you keep in touch via social media?
fangdrag social media too
Now can you make a video on how to cut friends?
In my opinion I think it's less about "cutting" friends and more about choosing your daily 24 hours wisely. The more we spend time doing positive things and putting ourselves around great people, the less time we will have for hanging out with negative people, or wasting time. For example, oftentimes I have to pass on family gatherings because I've started attending workshops. They accept this as an excuse and I don't have to worry about "cutting" anyone.
So, who am I the average of if I don't hang out with anyone outside of work? At work, I talk to people but I don't hang out with them there either. They talk too much, there into drama, and they make fun of people alot. I don't like any of that. I live in my own home and have my own garage gym. I don't go to restaurants or anywhere except bike ride down the city trails and grocery shopping.
So, who am I the average of?
It's been very few people lately.
Oh God, no!
who are the 5 people that he drew in this? It looks like MLK, Einstein, Churchill and Armstrong.. but who is the woman with the light?
oh so this is why im emotionally manipulative thnx parents
The fact that a lot if financial success is related to who someone spends time with is because rich people usually have rich friends and already have the best opportunities and easier lives because they're rich.
But it could also be a poor person who becomes rich, then acquires rich friends.
people I admire? none but myself
Why?
But the Issue for me Is I do not look up to or Admire anyone. I learn from others EXACTLY what NOT to do. There is ONE person I admire - This is Jesus b/c he understands from experience what it is like to have an abusive family; especially a biological mother.
I have no friends therefore the average of 0 is 0 thus I am nothing.
Me, too. When I'm off of work, I don't hang out with anyone. Nobody comes to my house and vice versa. I don't hang out with coworkers. As a shift supervisor, I don't talk to many coworkers because, although they're nice, they are snitches, backstabbers, and they're into drama. I have a gym in my garage. So, I don't go out at all.
So, who am I the average of?
What is your à loner?
from my experience, this is total bullshit.
As the only person I hang out with I am literally the best guy around