Its deep work to do. Sadly, many psychiatrists just push pills. Glad to see a real MD show others how to do the work. For me, my trauma just surfaced after time.
my trauma and neglect has empowered me. i'm one of those spiritual people that believes that and i help people every day with the same kind of issues that you do. just in a different way. i think that people like us should work together. medications are a stepping stone to help people deal with trauma and empower themselves and heal. we just gotta remember that healing does not mean the damage was erased. it just means that the damage does not govern our every day lives. victim mentality is not good for any of us. the idea that a mental illness makes you broken and diseased for life is not good for any of us. i find it beautiful that i'm your 333rd subscriber and that's a number that i see constantly. again, thank you for sharing. i wish i coulda had you as a psych doc at any point in my youth to tell me some of these things, lmao, but that's okay man. it's cool to hear you talk now just to validate the things that i know now. thank you so much for taking the time and effort to put your links out there.
I couldn't agree more. I'm not a clinician but I did experience psychological, emotional, non-sexual physical abuse & neglect as well as sibling bullying. I came to similar conclusions on my own long before seeking any professional treatment. It has definitely helped in my capacity to forgive, understand & have compassion towards my family & myself. I think what remains a challenge now (at age 40), is resolving the traumas I have no conscious memory of & the resulting damage I've caused by my own unconscious choices, patterns, attempts to cope etc. ie. Self-medicate, relationship attachments and so on. It's very encouraging to see both the medical & physiological communities beginning to see/understand the bigger picture, root cause & long-term effects of childhood trauma/neglect etc. We can't fix what we don't know is broken.
Thank you Rebeka! Yes, these things can be very tricky, especially if we are not conscious of them. It can be very frustrating to be driven by things that are "under the radar". It seems unwise to wallow in painful memories, however we do need to be aware of them in order to transform our lives.
Your right on! No victim & no blame, it doesn’t serve any of us in any healing. I do believe we set our lessons before birth & I also believe that without any spiritual foundation, not religion but a spiritual or higher power that you can have faith and guidance from,it will be near impossible to recover. Without self-awareness & growth it just can’t happen as it is a difficult path to choose. Thank you for what you are doing!
The road to hell sure is paved with good intentions! The parent that follows this train of thought of everyone being responsable for their own fate (the you chose your own parents idea) while the abuse is going on is being delusional with spiritual bypassing and toxic positivity. A parent telling their small child to be wiser than the abusive parent is insanity. It is mental gymnastics that lets that parent wash their hands clean and off the hook. It is abuse by proxy. And lets them have a self image of a good responsable caretaker by providing herbal oil rubs gemstones and bach flower remedies (Willow, to not be resentful about being abused...?) to help the child to become less difficult to deal with. No self awareness of their own maladaption and dysfunction. Passing on intergenerational trauma like children are a dumping ground for their own pain shame guilt so they don't have to deal with it. And when the child suffers it is labeled having a victim mentality. Parents who do this, who are fiercely in denial about having done this, and demand respect simply because they are a parent I have no respect for that. You're basically programming the child with 'you're on your own'. It is abandonment and emotional neglect and leaves scars in the psyche for it messes up the development of individuation, sense of self and personal boundaries, brain, nervous system/HPA axis, personality and the world is an unsafe place. If personality is established by age 5 why is there no mention of this in the DSM? Let that personality get disordered and slap on a highly stigmatized lable at age 20 that basically says 'a*hole'. And then after decades of numbing medication like a painkiller for the soul as a means to support your trying to play your part in the rat race this mindf*ck finally comes to the surface and there is no validation no accountability just letting you suffer on your own in this parallel universe of perception of reality and 'everything happens for a reason' like it is a highly valuable gift you must be grateful for and it is all done out of love. Dogs are raised better than that. With establishing a foundation of trust, loyalty and respect. Both ways. And if you don't heal/function properly in society you get blamed for being stuck in the past while that past shaped you into this maladapted human in the first place. I had a dog with a history of abuse and now a dog free of trauma. The difference in their level of trust and perceiving safety or threat speaks volumes. As a human you find yourself trying to navigate life with the emotional maturity of a toddler, failing socially. I can see where the extreme right and this new age thinking meet because it finds ways to justify anything. Just as the commandment honour thy mother and father is the perfect cover up for abusing children and gaslighting them about it. Good enough parenting is not some new insight, Winnicot and others proved this over a century ago. Louise Hay says we're all victims of victims. About time to break that cycle. We need to stop as individuals hanging on to this false self of being good without doing the necesary shadow work and throwing everyone else around us under the bus while we envision ourselves made of pure bright light so we get to sustain that lifestyle for no other reason than keep ourselves safe from feeling the painful stuff like hurt anger guilt and shame, using eachother as emotional vending machines. Anger is a big one. We can all work out to get it out of our system and be done with it or unite and heal in community and walk eachother home.
I appreciate this post because dialogue regarding adverse childhood experiences is essential. However, I don't believe that acting as if we chose our parents and abusive childhood circumstances can be empowering because empowerment can't be founded on falsehoods. Who would choose an abusive childhood? In order to make believe that we chose an abusive childhood, we'd have to prop up that lie with other lies; for instance, I deserved to be abused or my parents didn't know any better or some such nonsense, which really seems to set the stage for finding yourself in abusive situations in the future and rationalizing them as your choice. Fully acknowledging the abuse, recognizing that you were indeed victimized, accepting that you were abused in the past AND embracing that it was undeserved and wrong regardless of any mitigating circumstances is what can empower you to be a victim no longer. Walking through the front door when you're ready is the path to empowerment. Also, in the example with the lady in her 50s who was chronically sexually abused as a child, the belief as you point out that was likely informing her choice to be with this man she was unattracted to was installed during her abusive childhood. It's the experience of early sexual abuse (coupled with her thoughts trying to make sense of the horror she endured as a child) that established the belief that goes on to "create" this experience in her adult life. Helping her understand the dynamic-- linking the undesirable behavior (being with a man she doesn't want to be with) to the unhelpful belief to her experience of childhood sexual abuse--can become an invitation her to change.
Informative. Thank you for replying. I do think it can be empowering to go back, once ready and address childhood trauma, as stated in the reply to the ACES video, Drs and private/public services have a duty of care to children so lets say, when a child visits a Dr or goes through police procedure in gathering evidence against the abuser, the child should be red flagged so that support could be consistent throughout their adult life, limiting the negative effects of trauma such as dependence on drugs/alcohol or risk related behaviours such as being sexually or abused in their adult relationships due to "subconscious or conscious beliefs they have about themselves. The point of contact for a psychiatrists or psychologists should be at the moment the abuse is report or known by using a collaborative system, that encompasses the child and their immediate family/education. I dare say it would benefit the child but also put less of a strain on other services in the case of the child NOT being supported fully. Imagine a domino effect, how do you stop the rest falling over and effecting the next thing? By stepping in at the earliest point possible and guiding the child throughout their time in systems like education. If hope to see less crime due to early intervention, amongst other societal benefits. :) ideology? Perhaps but completely do-able if a system of care and encompassment is used by different professionals working together for the child. Ie police communicates with social services who then place counselling in the family home or school, where the school supports behaviour and drs communicate with the family and outreaches to specialised psychologists.
What do you do if in 1 house your being abused and the other house your being mocked for it and nobody wants to hear what you say. I'm 16 and need to leave both places but I'm afraid to tell someone and when i told people before they laughed at me and didn't do anything
Thank you for mentioning this. It may be helpful to start counseling at a mental health clinic with a social worker, who can notify child protective services, if necessary. You also have the option of contacting child protective services yourself. If the situation is urgent, you can go to an emergency room and ask to speak with a social worker there.
Such important issues should not be so messed up and screwed up, especially by someone showing and/or implying that they are a so-called professional, while failing society, especially children, and speaking delusionally one moment, then offering possible perspectives of reality another moment, then claiming and/or showing to have absolute answers another moment; Shame on you and anyone supporting you!
Its deep work to do. Sadly, many psychiatrists just push pills. Glad to see a real MD show others how to do the work. For me, my trauma just surfaced after time.
Thank you so much Lila! Peter
my trauma and neglect has empowered me. i'm one of those spiritual people that believes that and i help people every day with the same kind of issues that you do. just in a different way. i think that people like us should work together. medications are a stepping stone to help people deal with trauma and empower themselves and heal. we just gotta remember that healing does not mean the damage was erased. it just means that the damage does not govern our every day lives. victim mentality is not good for any of us. the idea that a mental illness makes you broken and diseased for life is not good for any of us. i find it beautiful that i'm your 333rd subscriber and that's a number that i see constantly. again, thank you for sharing. i wish i coulda had you as a psych doc at any point in my youth to tell me some of these things, lmao, but that's okay man. it's cool to hear you talk now just to validate the things that i know now. thank you so much for taking the time and effort to put your links out there.
I agree, trauma can be transformed to something positive.
I couldn't agree more. I'm not a clinician but I did experience psychological, emotional, non-sexual physical abuse & neglect as well as sibling bullying.
I came to similar conclusions on my own long before seeking any professional treatment. It has definitely helped in my capacity to forgive, understand & have compassion towards my family & myself. I think what remains a challenge now (at age 40), is resolving the traumas I have no conscious memory of & the resulting damage I've caused by my own unconscious choices, patterns, attempts to cope etc. ie. Self-medicate, relationship attachments and so on. It's very encouraging to see both the medical & physiological communities beginning to see/understand the bigger picture, root cause & long-term effects of childhood trauma/neglect etc.
We can't fix what we don't know is broken.
Thank you Rebeka! Yes, these things can be very tricky, especially if we are not conscious of them. It can be very frustrating to be driven by things that are "under the radar". It seems unwise to wallow in painful memories, however we do need to be aware of them in order to transform our lives.
Your right on! No victim & no blame, it doesn’t serve any of us in any healing. I do believe we set our lessons before birth & I also believe that without any spiritual foundation, not religion but a spiritual or higher power that you can have faith and guidance from,it will be near impossible to recover. Without self-awareness & growth it just can’t happen as it is a difficult path to choose.
Thank you for what you are doing!
Thank you Jen! The spiritual aspect definitely can help. Peter
The road to hell sure is paved with good intentions!
The parent that follows this train of thought of everyone being responsable for their own fate (the you chose your own parents idea) while the abuse is going on is being delusional with spiritual bypassing and toxic positivity. A parent telling their small child to be wiser than the abusive parent is insanity. It is mental gymnastics that lets that parent wash their hands clean and off the hook. It is abuse by proxy. And lets them have a self image of a good responsable caretaker by providing herbal oil rubs gemstones and bach flower remedies (Willow, to not be resentful about being abused...?) to help the child to become less difficult to deal with. No self awareness of their own maladaption and dysfunction. Passing on intergenerational trauma like children are a dumping ground for their own pain shame guilt so they don't have to deal with it. And when the child suffers it is labeled having a victim mentality.
Parents who do this, who are fiercely in denial about having done this, and demand respect simply because they are a parent I have no respect for that.
You're basically programming the child with 'you're on your own'. It is abandonment and emotional neglect and leaves scars in the psyche for it messes up the development of individuation, sense of self and personal boundaries, brain, nervous system/HPA axis, personality and the world is an unsafe place.
If personality is established by age 5 why is there no mention of this in the DSM? Let that personality get disordered and slap on a highly stigmatized lable at age 20 that basically says 'a*hole'. And then after decades of numbing medication like a painkiller for the soul as a means to support your trying to play your part in the rat race this mindf*ck finally comes to the surface and there is no validation no accountability just letting you suffer on your own in this parallel universe of perception of reality and 'everything happens for a reason' like it is a highly valuable gift you must be grateful for and it is all done out of love. Dogs are raised better than that. With establishing a foundation of trust, loyalty and respect. Both ways.
And if you don't heal/function properly in society you get blamed for being stuck in the past while that past shaped you into this maladapted human in the first place. I had a dog with a history of abuse and now a dog free of trauma. The difference in their level of trust and perceiving safety or threat speaks volumes.
As a human you find yourself trying to navigate life with the emotional maturity of a toddler, failing socially.
I can see where the extreme right and this new age thinking meet because it finds ways to justify anything. Just as the commandment honour thy mother and father is the perfect cover up for abusing children and gaslighting them about it.
Good enough parenting is not some new insight, Winnicot and others proved this over a century ago.
Louise Hay says we're all victims of victims. About time to break that cycle. We need to stop as individuals hanging on to this false self of being good without doing the necesary shadow work and throwing everyone else around us under the bus while we envision ourselves made of pure bright light so we get to sustain that lifestyle for no other reason than keep ourselves safe from feeling the painful stuff like hurt anger guilt and shame, using eachother as emotional vending machines.
Anger is a big one. We can all work out to get it out of our system and be done with it or unite and heal in community and walk eachother home.
I appreciate this post because dialogue regarding adverse childhood experiences is essential. However, I don't believe that acting as if we chose our parents and abusive childhood circumstances can be empowering because empowerment can't be founded on falsehoods. Who would choose an abusive childhood? In order to make believe that we chose an abusive childhood, we'd have to prop up that lie with other lies; for instance, I deserved to be abused or my parents didn't know any better or some such nonsense, which really seems to set the stage for finding yourself in abusive situations in the future and rationalizing them as your choice. Fully acknowledging the abuse, recognizing that you were indeed victimized, accepting that you were abused in the past AND embracing that it was undeserved and wrong regardless of any mitigating circumstances is what can empower you to be a victim no longer. Walking through the front door when you're ready is the path to empowerment. Also, in the example with the lady in her 50s who was chronically sexually abused as a child, the belief as you point out that was likely informing her choice to be with this man she was unattracted to was installed during her abusive childhood. It's the experience of early sexual abuse (coupled with her thoughts trying to make sense of the horror she endured as a child) that established the belief that goes on to "create" this experience in her adult life. Helping her understand the dynamic-- linking the undesirable behavior (being with a man she doesn't want to be with) to the unhelpful belief to her experience of childhood sexual abuse--can become an invitation her to change.
Thank you Dwayne for your thoughtful comments. Peter
@@goertzpsychiatry9340 Thank you, Peter, for sharing your thought provoking, substantive video.
Doing the work is so important.
Yes, as long as the work does not become overwhelming.
Informative. Thank you for replying. I do think it can be empowering to go back, once ready and address childhood trauma, as stated in the reply to the ACES video, Drs and private/public services have a duty of care to children so lets say, when a child visits a Dr or goes through police procedure in gathering evidence against the abuser, the child should be red flagged so that support could be consistent throughout their adult life, limiting the negative effects of trauma such as dependence on drugs/alcohol or risk related behaviours such as being sexually or abused in their adult relationships due to "subconscious or conscious beliefs they have about themselves. The point of contact for a psychiatrists or psychologists should be at the moment the abuse is report or known by using a collaborative system, that encompasses the child and their immediate family/education. I dare say it would benefit the child but also put less of a strain on other services in the case of the child NOT being supported fully. Imagine a domino effect, how do you stop the rest falling over and effecting the next thing? By stepping in at the earliest point possible and guiding the child throughout their time in systems like education. If hope to see less crime due to early intervention, amongst other societal benefits. :) ideology? Perhaps but completely do-able if a system of care and encompassment is used by different professionals working together for the child. Ie police communicates with social services who then place counselling in the family home or school, where the school supports behaviour and drs communicate with the family and outreaches to specialised psychologists.
Thank you for your thoughts! The current system can use some new ideas.
Thank for this information.
Thank you Justina! Peter Goertz
This was great. Thank you. What is your take on free will?
Thank you! Very interesting question. My own personal view is, that life may consist of a combination of free will and predetermination. Peter Goertz
@@goertzpsychiatry9340 I don’t agree
What do you do if in 1 house your being abused and the other house your being mocked for it and nobody wants to hear what you say. I'm 16 and need to leave both places but I'm afraid to tell someone and when i told people before they laughed at me and didn't do anything
Thank you for mentioning this. It may be helpful to start counseling at a mental health clinic with a social worker, who can notify child protective services, if necessary. You also have the option of contacting child protective services yourself. If the situation is urgent, you can go to an emergency room and ask to speak with a social worker there.
You can also talk to your counselor at school about this.
@@goertzpsychiatry9340 thank you, I'll try looking into some places
New viewer, first video.
Me: watches 20 seconds, 👍, subscribe
Thank you Amy! Peter Goertz
Stop posting links to your video as responses to comments on my channel immediately
You sound like a cry baby bitch 🤣🤣🤣 "I demand you to stop posting comments of your videos under my comments immediately"🤣🤣🤣
If it’s pertinent information and helpful to people suffering, what’s your motive???
Such important issues should not be so messed up and screwed up, especially by someone showing and/or implying that they are a so-called professional, while failing society, especially children, and speaking delusionally one moment, then offering possible perspectives of reality another moment, then claiming and/or showing to have absolute answers another moment; Shame on you and anyone supporting you!