Therapist Reacts To: Illicit Affairs by Taylor Swift

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  • Опубліковано 25 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 93

  • @servicedogkyzanna1761
    @servicedogkyzanna1761 Рік тому +311

    Love her or hate her, one has to admit that Taylor Swift is the Shakespeare of our generation.

  • @luciihornsby
    @luciihornsby Рік тому +158

    i know you're a therapist, but you'd also make a great english teacher! i'm a literature student and your analyses are always so insightful, i could never hahah

    • @mendwithmere
      @mendwithmere  Рік тому +44

      Aww thank you! My true love is writing and I’m hoping to get a book published. I didn’t realize how much I love words and meanings associated with them until I started doing these reactions! Never intended to have this channel be mainly reactions. So wild.

    • @luciihornsby
      @luciihornsby Рік тому +5

      @@mendwithmere wow that would be amazing- i'll be first in line to read your book! haha, you should come to my college classes.. we look at lots of words and the meanings associated with them😅i really want to write my third year dissertation about folklore and evermore, but i have a feeling my supervisor won't approve it🥲

  • @emmalay1962
    @emmalay1962 Рік тому +71

    I was in an affair with an older man for years, it was really toxic and he'd even call me "kid", so this song hits particularly hard! Love your analysis of the lyrics and a new perspective. :)

    • @teresabest2199
      @teresabest2199 13 днів тому

      I am currently in a relationship with an older man. He refers to me as young lady. This song is very relatable to me.

  • @luciihornsby
    @luciihornsby Рік тому +75

    i love this interpretation! this is one of my absolute favorite taylor songs; the bridge is the literally the best bridge to ever exist ahhh it's so good

  • @crystalkadletc1944
    @crystalkadletc1944 Рік тому +17

    This is one of my favorite tracks and I always thought of it as the general love affair long, but addiction gives it a new meaning for me.

  • @virginialiriano8001
    @virginialiriano8001 Рік тому +18

    You really give a different meaning toTaylor´s songs that´s something i love about you and what you do, bc this song may seem so basic like an affair, but look what kind of gem you gave us with this video. A whole new perspective

    • @mendwithmere
      @mendwithmere  Рік тому +2

      Wow. Thank you for that beautiful compliment. That’s means so much to me.

  • @davidpacheco268
    @davidpacheco268 Рік тому +40

    I had never thought about this song in the perspective of addiction, thank you for broadening my horizons!
    If I may suggest something, not that I don't love your Taylor Swift videos, I'd say you should check out J. Maya. She's an amazing lyricist and her songs are super rich. Maybe Machine Learning would be the most interesting one for you to analyze

  • @agathasophie4890
    @agathasophie4890 Рік тому +13

    I am crying!!! I never thought I could love this song more. Thank you for this analysis ☺ love from the Philippines ♥

    • @mendwithmere
      @mendwithmere  Рік тому +2

      You are so welcome and thank you for watching! Sending love to you!!

  • @leeschroeder3960
    @leeschroeder3960 Рік тому +18

    I absolutely love listening to your take on Taylor’s songs for sure gives a whole new light to her songs…would love you to do Long Live older song but absolutely amazing …a very loved classic !!! Either way keep making videos we love them

    • @mendwithmere
      @mendwithmere  Рік тому +6

      I’ve actually never heard that song!! I’ll do it!

    • @leeschroeder3960
      @leeschroeder3960 Рік тому +2

      @@mendwithmere oh wow !! It’s a classic it’s one she says is always written for her fans….please do it it’s a well known classic would be fun to see your first reaction and your spin on it!!! I can’t wait and again thanks for doing these videos for us!!

  • @TheDelicateAntiHero
    @TheDelicateAntiHero Рік тому +2

    The very first thing I thought after hearing this was addiction. It hit too close to home and then she belts out the performance of a lifetime during the Eras Tour. The poetry of the lyrics evokes imagery and truths that addicts go through. It’s genius and it actually helps me heal. Thank you for also hearing what I heard. It’s great not to be alone.

  • @screllin
    @screllin Рік тому +14

    This song breaks my heart even though I havent been through the subjects of the song 💔

  • @JenniferAnneGastelum
    @JenniferAnneGastelum Рік тому +2

    I love this. You honestly are so insightful and real. This song is absolutely heartbreaking. love it so much.

  • @poojaahuja3934
    @poojaahuja3934 Рік тому +2

    She is such a amazing storyteller ...

  • @sallytownsendart
    @sallytownsendart Рік тому

    Came straight to watch this after the Dealer video.. When you said "love doesn't hide you" that snapped me out of something I've been trying for so long to convince myself was a relationship that could someday work. If I'm honest with myself, I knew it wouldn't, and being hidden made me feel so terrible, but the rush of the crumbs of attention made me feel so great in those brief moments. That high whether from a person or a substance is so powerful. Thank you for describing this so eloquently, and helping me to continue the process of knowing what I'm worth. I just discovered your channel a few months ago and love your insights.

  • @sofiasada1815
    @sofiasada1815 Рік тому +4

    Well this just made my night! Week! Starting my late night drive back home and I look to see if you have new videos always and to my surprise it’s Illicit Affairs and I get a shout out? You’re just a cool person, smart and always on point. Your analysis is exactly what I had thought, but I love your extensive vocabulary, I always love that I learn new words listening and watching your videos. Thank you so much for this, I know how much work it must be to record these videos, so thank you for doing them, creating content is hard, and it’s much appreciated. There’s a lot of TS classics from old albums that I think would shake you, “Last Kiss”, “You are in Love”, “New Years Day”, “Cornelia Street”, “Daylight”, oh, “Ivy”!! Through the Queer Lense, did you watch “Dickinson”?? What a series, and that song had Emily & Sue all over, I mean, the lyrics are just out of this world, TS is the Emily Dickinson poet of our generation so many things to analyze, which I’m sure you would nail. Thank you for these videos, they really make me happy :) ❤❤❤❤

  • @thepurpz
    @thepurpz Рік тому +3

    There can be a ritualistic aspect to drug use, making your surroundings and settings feel comfortable and cozy. A huge contrast to something like a back alley in the cold "what started in beautiful rooms..." Sometimes the preparations - those rituals - are a part of the high. The anticipation is a major rush.

  • @justinsnelling8053
    @justinsnelling8053 24 дні тому

    My question: How does someone get so deeply wise - and so deeply creatively expressive - so young? It's a rhetorical question. I'm a 70 year old guy - I learned much early in life i'm a good observer and listener - but Ms Taylor really blows my mind - she can create these so brilliantly crafted stories and lyrics - and she is just 35 (now) - she was younger when so many of these songs were crafted. I truly believe we are lucky to live in the time of Taylor and to bask in the storytelling and the sheer genius of a woman at the top of her self understanding creative game. It is truly a great gift - like living under grace - she knows, she reveals she reflects, and she still creates. I said it before - some folks master the art of turning a lemon into lemonade - but this lady turns a whole effing lemon grove into the smoothest and finest Limoncello - and that's an art - that's a craft - that's a mastermind and a great soul - that's a woman who is wise beyond her years - and a performer too. Her struggles are our victories. Her wisdom our balm. Her genius our delight. Damn there have been so many who really misunderstood what they had held so close... But such such genius wisdom always comes with a cost - and sure being a Billionaire is a great anaesthetic to such existential angst - we are lucky she wears her heart so bravely on her sleeve so that we too are able to feel seen, understood, loved... I am not a silly old fool - but I am lucky to have lived in these times. I too am a Sagittarian - an old soul even when young - I am grateful for this gift. If Leonard Cohen speaks to heart of us gentlemen - Ms Taylor allows us a window into the poetry and reality of womanhood - and she does it with such an authentic and powerful voice too. Yes - there are many brilliant powerful and "smashing" (my Mum's favourite word for a fine lady) female singers out there - but by crikey this one shimmers like no one else...

  • @Lose2Love
    @Lose2Love 9 місяців тому

    your analysis was quite good Meredith, love the channel name too. It's sad when you give and the other person doesn't give back. and that's what most of us have lost. Also I like the way your explain complicated words simply.

  • @NeverGoodbye09
    @NeverGoodbye09 10 місяців тому +1

    I've loved this song since the first time I heard it on the day the album came out. I think I listened to it the most out of any of the other songs on the album. Now I know it's my most played song out of every other song in my music library. I felt connected to it from the very first listen.
    I think you are 100% right about an affair being a cover story in this song. This song is totally about addiction to me. I'm actually a recovering addict myself. I'm nine months and 1 day clean of absolutely everything today, my drug of choice was pain medication and I haven't had anything in nine months and one day.
    This song though. This song perfectly describes my relationship to the pain pills I took and how I felt about everything that was going on.
    Thank you for bringing the deeper meaning to the surface.

  • @LUISFELIPEVALENCADEALBUQUERQUE

    I simply love your channel. You dissect the hidden meanings so interestingly... It's just insane. This song in particular resonates with me differently. When you are experiencing a romantic relationship with someone of the same sex, it's quite close to how the scene is designed in this music. No support from your family, yourself, and even the partner in question. We both know it's illicit, and how damaging it could be if somebody finds out... but you have no choice at the end, 'cause we are entangled. You try to set boundaries, meanwhile at the core if you could choose... you would do it all over again. It's more than living for the thrill of the rush. You know it's doomed, but there's no way out but to move forward until the car crashes and everything goes down. I simply love your channel. You dissect the hidden meanings so interestingly... It's just insane. This song in particular resonates with me differently. When you are experiencing a romantic relationship with someone of the same sex, it's quite close to how the scene is designed in this music. No support from your family, yourself, and even the partner in question. We both know it's illicit, and how damaging it could be if somebody finds out... but you have no choice at the end, 'cause we are entangled. You try to set boundaries, meanwhile at the core if you could choose... you would do it all over again. It's more than living for the thrill of the rush. You know it's doomed, but there's no way out but to move forward until the car crashes and everything goes down. Thank you so much for your videos, and please do not stop!! 😆

  • @lena.mmarie
    @lena.mmarie Рік тому +6

    Amazing analysis! I would love you react to Gracie Abrams as well, especially to the song “Camden”. Her songwriting really does have parallels with Taylor’s and I think you’d enjoy her music a lot!

    • @mendwithmere
      @mendwithmere  Рік тому +1

      Yes, I have Gracie Abrams on the list. I promise it’s coming :)

  • @megurquhart3685
    @megurquhart3685 8 місяців тому +1

    Thank you for your analysis. I confess that in the several hundred times I’ve heard this incredible song I took it at face value…likely because many years ago, as a 16 year old child I was preyed upon by a trusted, decades older, man in my life. Every word in this song describes the beginning, middle and end…of his role in it…it took decades to fully recover. The desperation, confusion, and utter betrayal of the last portion of the song made me feel like she had read my journals from that time and used them as her lyrics…
    But, back to my point, your analysis has opened my eyes. And I owe you my sincerest thanks because I now understand my sister. She struggles with addiction and I’ve been struggling to know how to relate so that I can support her. Because of you I now understand that we have, although caused by different things, base emotions I common. It’s all so clear now and suddenly I know what I’m going to do and how I’m going to support her on her own journey. Bless you.

  • @alainhenrique
    @alainhenrique Рік тому

    As someone with addiction problems i always heard this song from that perspective! I relapsed last month after 3 years sober and this song breaks my heart! Thank You for this analysis!

  • @J-B-P
    @J-B-P Рік тому

    Interesting take! I’ve never thought of it this way but the double meaning definitely works. Cool perspective

  • @marinadawnhamilton-songste5554

    Thank you for this review. It is spot on and was so hard to get out of.
    It felt like a relationship but it was an affair.
    I’m relieved it is finally over. The tears 😭 are not grief any longer now that he has moved out but I do still love him.

  • @paigehelling7973
    @paigehelling7973 Рік тому +5

    I love your interpretation of the song and you made me think of the “perfume on the shelf” part in a way I hadn’t before. I’d thought that maybe she had bought the perfume excitedly with him in mind because it reminded her of him/them or something, but then she realized that she won’t be able to actually wear it because his partner might smell it on him and get suspicious, so she just has to go without and still remain a secret. It’s one of the moments in the song that gets to me, though it’s all sad.
    Do you think you could do a dual analysis of Taylor’s champagne problems in one video and then the other video being Zoe Levert’s champagne problems where she rewrote the song but from the man’s perspective? I think Zoe’s version is just as amazing as Taylor’s and is at least worth the listen if you’re not sure about doing an analysis video on it. Zoe also did a small rewrite of cardigan from August/Augustine’s POV that is just so beautiful and heartbreaking, I love it so much. Although if you do look for it on here or her tiktok which is just her name, you should watch the one where her hair is blonde and is put up. Loved this video! 🫶🫶🫶

    • @mendwithmere
      @mendwithmere  Рік тому +3

      Thank you so much for this info! I’d love to do a dual analysis! Champagne problems is one of the songs at the top of my list!! I’m sure Taylor would love that people expand on her work bc they love it.
      Also, I feel the same about the perfume. It’s really sad.

  • @zzz-cb3xe
    @zzz-cb3xe Рік тому +2

    You perspective is so interesting.

  • @Spookymama08
    @Spookymama08 8 місяців тому

    I love her song Dear John. All that would have to change would be the name, and it’s almost like she read my diary from a mirror image relationship I had at 19 years old.

  • @mikeywebb9598
    @mikeywebb9598 Рік тому

    Your editing is seriously so funny I love it

  • @nonamesgangsister
    @nonamesgangsister Рік тому +1

    Make sure nobody sees you leave
    Hood over your head, keep your eyes down
    Tell your friends you're out for a run
    You'll be flushed when you return
    Take the road less traveled by
    Tell yourself you can always stop
    What started in beautiful rooms
    Ends with meetings in parking lots
    And that's the thing about illicit affairs
    And clandestine meetings and longing stares
    It's born from just one single glance
    But it dies, and it dies, and it dies
    A million little times
    Leave the perfume on the shelf
    That you picked out just for him
    So you leave no trace behind
    Like you don't even exist
    Take the words for what they are
    A dwindling, mercurial high
    A drug that only worked
    The first few hundred times
    And that's the thing about illicit affairs
    And clandestine meetings and stolen stares
    They show their truth one single time
    But they lie, and they lie, and they lie
    A million little times
    And you wanna scream
    Don't call me "kid"
    Don't call me "baby"
    Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me
    You showed me colors
    You know I can't see with anyone else
    Don't call me "kid"
    Don't call me "baby"
    Look at this idiotic fool that you made me
    You taught me a secret language
    I can't speak with anyone else
    And you know damn well
    For you, I would ruin myself
    A million little times

  • @MichaelScarn-z2g
    @MichaelScarn-z2g Рік тому +3

    You're so smart and articulate.

    • @mendwithmere
      @mendwithmere  Рік тому +2

      Really?!? thank you☺️ I doubt myself so that feels so good. Thank you

  • @LittleSongBirdTales
    @LittleSongBirdTales Рік тому

    I love SATC. Its my favorite show of all time. Carrie is one of my style icons!

  • @tabassummostafa3093
    @tabassummostafa3093 6 місяців тому

    Sometimes you’re the sucker who thinks they’re the exception, it is what it is, sometimes you trust the wrong dude. But it’s refreshing to have a song from their angle, cause like the song highlights, they’re a victim too.

  • @pepeoctam.8327
    @pepeoctam.8327 Рік тому +1

    You're so smart 👏

  • @jeannejatico
    @jeannejatico Рік тому +5

    Please do Daylight and Call me what you want please ❤

  • @ethanhall9965
    @ethanhall9965 Рік тому

    This song reminds me of the Max show called Love And Death

  • @kakeen1977
    @kakeen1977 Рік тому

    Omg, it's 5:40am and I'm laughing so hard bc of the Karaoke clip... you should do karaoke for all of Taylor Swifts songs and add them to every video 😂😂😂😂

  • @RebekahKroezen
    @RebekahKroezen Рік тому +3

    I think this video is wrong about the perfume. I think the idea was that they picked out a perfume just for him and then couldn’t even wear it because the smell might linger and out him for cheating. She can’t leave a mark on him or his home, even a smell, because she is the other woman.

  • @jasminesubba1621
    @jasminesubba1621 Рік тому +1

    Your hair, makeup and voice just like Taylor

    • @mendwithmere
      @mendwithmere  Рік тому

      ??? Really?! I know the bangs are def similar

  • @Moonsong_
    @Moonsong_ Рік тому

    I lvoe the way you interpretate lyrics, it makes me look at them from a whole other prespective. You should react to these 3 songs if you haven't yet: Hoax (Taylor Swift), Garden song (Phoebe Bridgers) and I know the end (Phoebe Bridgers)

  • @hikuztiagoo
    @hikuztiagoo 11 місяців тому

    Hi Mere! You talk a lot about addiction and the problems with being with some with one and having one, and that reminded me of a song called "Powder" by Melanie Martinez. I think you would like a lot the lyrics of the song and would be interesting to see your reaction and point of view of the lyrics.

  • @nicvntinee
    @nicvntinee 8 місяців тому

    need the full karma cover

  • @jasmynyim
    @jasmynyim Рік тому

    I’m experiencing this kind of situation now. I broke up with this guy who’d been gaslighting and neglecting my feelings, a month ago. And we hadn’t been talking to each other since then. I went through a lot during this period of time, I can’t sleep at nights, heartbreaking, crying, struggling, self-doubting…..I hate to admit that I still can’t let him go till now. Last week he texted me saying he’s still sexually attracted to me and asking me if I wanna be ‘friends’ with him. I…said yes. Yeah, even though I knew exactly what he did to me when we’re together. I knew he only wanted physical act and he’s been using me. I knew we want different things. I knew it was toxic. But I still can’t say no to him. I guess it’s just bc I don’t wanna lose contact with him. Stupid and pathetic me.

    • @uzimanify
      @uzimanify Рік тому

      Search Matthew Hussey and see what he says. Just once may be.

  • @cristinejoymaranon7257
    @cristinejoymaranon7257 Рік тому +3

    New subscriber here :)

  • @PaigeRohloff-xb6ub
    @PaigeRohloff-xb6ub 8 місяців тому

    I wonder if she is speaking about her eating disorder as the "addiction"?

  • @babyjane534
    @babyjane534 Рік тому

    I want your actual reactions 😭

    • @mendwithmere
      @mendwithmere  Рік тому

      Hi! What do you mean? I heard the song before so it wasn’t 100% fresh

    • @babyjane534
      @babyjane534 Рік тому

      @@mendwithmere like I love watching your first reactions ❤️ like you did on some songs of midnights, btw I love your content

    • @mendwithmere
      @mendwithmere  Рік тому +3

      @@babyjane534 I’ll do more for you ♥️❤️ thank you for the love!

    • @babyjane534
      @babyjane534 Рік тому

      @@mendwithmere omg thank you so much 🥺🙏 I'm so excited!

  • @TransDragon
    @TransDragon 4 місяці тому +2

    "People that keep you secret don't care about you" I think that's very heteronormative and generalised. What about gay people who are in the closet and can't come out?

  • @taylorlester3495
    @taylorlester3495 Рік тому +1

    I love your videos! Could you do kelsea ballerini’s new EP?

  • @09jay495
    @09jay495 Рік тому

    That is a stretch- perfume, stolen stares- are these figurative?

  • @hysteric4u
    @hysteric4u Рік тому

    the karaoke clips are everythingggggg i love it haha. karaoke addict here!!

  • @tayftayf3594
    @tayftayf3594 9 місяців тому

    This is so crazy
    Just last week, i had re-watched sex and the city
    And literally a few minutes ago, i was listening to this song, and when she said the phrase "don't call me kid, don't call me baby" and then it hit me
    IT'S A LOT LIKE CARRIE AND BIG OMG

  • @poisonivy-1241
    @poisonivy-1241 Рік тому +5

    I think that the first verse is about a guy and the second one is about a girl

  • @TheGrottoGirl
    @TheGrottoGirl 11 місяців тому

    If we look at this song through a queer lens, the whole thing becomes similar to the queer interpretation of Betty.
    The person can't risk leaving behind the scent (that she picked out just for * him * -- not unlike the * him * that James saw Betty dancing with) because it might be recognized (the perfume equivalent to lipstick on the collar). Instead, her relationship with this woman must remain invisible, like she doesn't even exist.
    "You've shown me colors I can't see with anyone else" "A secret language I can't speak with anyone else" "you know damn well for you I would ruin myself" -- I don't think it's too much of a stretch to interpret these as referencing a queer love affair. The narrator is incredibly torn and confused and doesn't know what to do. She feels like she would be willing to ruin herself and her future and her career for this woman, and she's not sure if this woman understands how deep her feelings are.
    (I'm also a therapist 💕)

  • @Daffie02
    @Daffie02 Рік тому +1

    I thought this song was about her affair with Karlie Kloss.

    • @KoriJaiden
      @KoriJaiden 3 місяці тому

      They were never together

  • @adrianapichardo9727
    @adrianapichardo9727 Рік тому

    Is there a false god explanation?

  • @Juliomoura-pb3ep
    @Juliomoura-pb3ep Рік тому

    entendi

  • @roseelliott2728
    @roseelliott2728 Рік тому +3

    Really great analysis, I always thought this was about a sexual affair with a married man. I like how you tied it to drug addiction. Both soul crushing predicaments to find yourself in. ❤️‍🩹