Guantánamo: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

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  • Опубліковано 26 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 7 тис.

  • @benjones2414
    @benjones2414 4 роки тому +1973

    I love how John Oliver's Russian accent slowly morphs into german before crashing into glasgow

    • @karebushmarebu233
      @karebushmarebu233 3 роки тому +48

      A dinny hear nae weegie in his accent

    • @Lopnawe
      @Lopnawe 3 роки тому +6

      #ScotSquad

    • @sarahamira5732
      @sarahamira5732 3 роки тому +18

      @Gamer Man he was speaking in a Russian accent for a joke in the video...

    • @trentpettit6336
      @trentpettit6336 3 роки тому +11

      Actually his Russian accent morphs into German before exploding over Lockerbie...

    • @henrikl218
      @henrikl218 2 роки тому +2

      Spot on !

  • @randombencounter263
    @randombencounter263 8 років тому +2159

    If you don't know what either phrase means, waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds like an awesome time.

    • @HelgaCavoli
      @HelgaCavoli 8 років тому +21

      An activity in a prison (regardless) would hardly be called awesome.

    • @paradoxacres1063
      @paradoxacres1063 8 років тому +107

      Great for all ages.

    • @WiseSageBum
      @WiseSageBum 8 років тому +125

      Cue the 70s Surf Music

    • @RKroese
      @RKroese 8 років тому +44

      This guy got tortured in gitmo and spilled the word.
      What's the word?
      Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba... umh-baw-baw-ba-ba-uhm-baw-baw
      SURFIN' BIRD!!!!!!

    • @WiseSageBum
      @WiseSageBum 8 років тому +10

      He was water-boarded and nearly died badly.
      How badly?
      He went Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba... umh-baw-baw-ba-ba-uhm-baw-baw
      Water board!

  • @Bokuzen035
    @Bokuzen035 8 років тому +2283

    17:20 Damn that's really sad. Imagine spending your entire adult life locked up without a trial because you bought the wrong watch.

    • @Vvonter
      @Vvonter 8 років тому +78

      Isn't that the beginnings of the Miserables and the Count of Montecristo?

    • @EsquilaxM
      @EsquilaxM 8 років тому +32

      les miserables he was actually guilty, i think. though it was a loaf of bread :P

    • @martypunker
      @martypunker 8 років тому +13

      In the book, he was guilty of theft and breaking and entering and his sentence kept being extended because he kept trying to escape.

    • @EsquilaxM
      @EsquilaxM 8 років тому +2

      martypunker Ah I suspected it was something different in the book :P

    • @refragerator
      @refragerator 8 років тому +84

      I was betting this would come up in the show, sadly it didn't -but here's something that might make you feel even worse: DER SPIEGEL (a German weekly magazine) covered a story about a Guantanamo inmate a few months ago. He was (if I remember correctly) an Afghan who was innocent and basically just a super unlucky dude who got himself into this shithole of a so called prison. Last year the US wanted to set him free (after 14 years of imprisonment in Guantanamo) and _on the way to the plane he got too scared of the outside world_. He went back to his prison cell. He's a completely broken man, afraid of the world outside of that prison. He doesn't like being there, but he was too afraid to step out back into the real world. Because of both; what happened to him and that he doesn't know _anything_ about what happened in the world for almost a decade and a half. His whole story was heartbreaking, when I read about it.
      That, in my opinion, shows how completely fucked up Guantanamo is (although I'm sure it's not the only prison in the world facing something like that).
      Adding to that the problem that a lof inmates that were released over the last 5 to 6 years apparently can't be send back to their home countries, because they're a) still at war, b) those countries don't want them and c) no-one wants to risk sending them right back to their potential terrorist brethren, these fellows end up somewhere in Europe (e.g. a few were transferred to Balkan states) or god knows where, far from home, without any family, friends or contacts.

  • @paulmahoney7619
    @paulmahoney7619 4 роки тому +551

    When Cheney mentioned keeping people there until our objective is achieved, it raises the question "What is our objective?"

    • @schattentaenzerin
      @schattentaenzerin 3 роки тому +30

      Exactly. Just like the opponent of this so called "War on terror" the goals were never put on the table.
      On September 14 this year the "Declaration of National Emergency by Reason of Certain Terrorist Attacks" will have it's 20th birthday.
      I think it's time to check up on this topic.

    • @sirius1696
      @sirius1696 3 роки тому +24

      @@schattentaenzerin more terrorists exist now than in 2004, when the War on Terror started (probably because the US is the greatest state sponsor of terrorism in the world)

    • @charlleedodson
      @charlleedodson 3 роки тому +14

      The goal post keeps moving, which makes me realize it’s not about ending terrorism or killing Saddam Hussein or Osama Bin Ladin or whatever the new excuse is. It’s all about the money of the Prison Industrial Complex

    • @Mikeyprs21
      @Mikeyprs21 3 роки тому +1

      @@charlleedodson I would not be surprised by this, at all.

    • @paulmahoney7619
      @paulmahoney7619 3 роки тому +2

      @adrish bose hate is easy. Vengeance is easy. Sticking to a standard of behavior with the worst of the worst? That is something to admire.

  • @christianmartinez8700
    @christianmartinez8700 8 років тому +784

    he always kills it at the end

  • @thegoldmike
    @thegoldmike 8 років тому +1178

    I served at gitmo as a Marine (not in the prison). that place sucks balls.

    • @Zabuza3190
      @Zabuza3190 8 років тому +189

      Michael Mangold the fact that it sucks balls and you didn't even serve IN the prison tells a lot

    • @theawkwardskeleton6608
      @theawkwardskeleton6608 8 років тому +14

      Michael Mangold did the government not learn this is a horrible idea from Alcatraz?

    • @DemHighTimes
      @DemHighTimes 8 років тому +4

      *~€===3*

    • @aaaaaaaaz76
      @aaaaaaaaz76 8 років тому +2

      ~€===3

    • @chrisridge5504
      @chrisridge5504 8 років тому +4

      What do you even do here Fn Tactical?

  • @mikaelskog3326
    @mikaelskog3326 8 років тому +441

    If I was locked up for over a decade for no reason, I'd be pretty motivated to get revenge for it.

    • @satsujin-shathewitchkingof6185
      @satsujin-shathewitchkingof6185 2 роки тому +37

      Exactly,if a government scooped you up and tortured you for no reason,you'd want to see that country fall for pretty fucking good reason

    • @liamwalsh4008
      @liamwalsh4008 Рік тому +16

      "You're a danger to this country."
      "Well, I wasn't when you locked me up, but I sure as shit am now."

  • @gregknight1989
    @gregknight1989 3 роки тому +231

    Government: detains and tortures 'suspects' for years.
    'Suspects': ends up hating America and joins terrorists.
    Americans: "why do these people hate us?!"

    • @fpvx3922
      @fpvx3922 Рік тому

      Yeah, that is what I am saying for years... imagine get your family blown up by a drone and not get justice... the first drone strike of Obama actually hit a wedding of our own allies... and later he boasted how good he was with drone strikes, even though 12 year old bystander kids were labeled as terrorists so they could boast how successful they were in killing terrorists... How can these people stop this? Is it just? Liberty and Justice for all? It is no surprise to me that these people hate America... and as long as you have ignorant Americans who probably never set a foot outside their country not realize that the world is bigger than the USA (they are only 1.2% of landmass :D ) this won`t change sadly.
      Before the scandal at Abu Graibh there was not much animosity between USA and extremists... sure they kidnapped some people, then they were bought free and that was it... but after how they handled prisoners there they drew all the hate of the middle east on them. Kind of sad actually... I just wish all sides would take a few steps back and especially end this horrible situations like black sites, Guantanamo, Abi Grainh, etc... Bring them before real courts... and let all the innocents (they know they are innocent) go...

  • @Fragenzeichenplatte
    @Fragenzeichenplatte 8 років тому +1428

    Just put every American into prison. *Some* (only some) innocent people may be affected but at least there won't be any crime anymore!

    • @IkeOkerekeNews
      @IkeOkerekeNews 8 років тому +9

      Wrong.

    • @johannschiel6734
      @johannschiel6734 8 років тому +6

      Nice. Actually a way we hould think about.

    • @LizLuvsCupcakes
      @LizLuvsCupcakes 8 років тому +56

      What? People oppose that? Well, why would they, there are so many bad guys!

    • @Tuchulu
      @Tuchulu 8 років тому +112

      We're working on it... We have the highest incarceration rate in the world

    • @bookdream
      @bookdream 8 років тому +97

      0 crime, 0 drug use, 0 car crash fatalities, 0 mass shootings, why have we never thought of this before??? LETS DO THIS.

  • @siecheil
    @siecheil 7 років тому +1058

    You could waterboard Gandhi continuously and have him tell you what you want to hear. There's a video of some conservative radio host who was supportive of these methods, decided to try it and show people it wasn't torture. They had a guy from the military come out who was a professional and the guy lasted about five seconds and completely renounced everything he ever said.

    • @tekbarrier
      @tekbarrier 6 років тому +167

      Far-right radio host Bryan Fischer has said that something only counts as torture if it causes permanent physical damage. He has repeatedly said that waterboarding isn't torture, and by his logic, emotional and mental torture aren't even things that exist.

    • @criskp6861
      @criskp6861 5 років тому +4

      Interesting

    • @fandomguy8025
      @fandomguy8025 5 років тому +11

      @@tekbarrier Well it does change your brain's wiring but it's hard to say if that's damage or just a natural response.

    • @rexablett943
      @rexablett943 5 років тому +45

      kende zx - You haven’t quite got that story right lol. You’re referring to Christopher Hitchens, who is by no means a conservative. He also never claimed it wasn’t torture. He wanted to be able to speak w/ authority on the subject so he experienced it for himself. He lasted considerably less than 5 seconds.

    • @123balmes
      @123balmes 5 років тому

      @@danktonttu8504 (¥n9
      'C' s

  • @sihyuanwu5492
    @sihyuanwu5492 8 років тому +480

    Am I the only one constantly reminded of Suicide Squad when hearing the governors describe the prisoners? 'Suicide' 'worst of the worst' 'bad guys'

  • @Pit.Gutzmann
    @Pit.Gutzmann 4 роки тому +654

    The way the US talk about art classes at Guantanamo remind me to how the Nazis talked about the cultural events at Theresienstadt.

    • @PickyPaige
      @PickyPaige 4 роки тому +71

      Or China with the reeducation camps for Uyghurs.

    • @elnorton7113
      @elnorton7113 3 роки тому +20

      @@PickyPaige US concerning about Muslim human rights. US killed innocent Muslims kids, detaining Muslims, threatening Assange, but US is a human right teacher.

    • @engagementengagement8836
      @engagementengagement8836 3 роки тому +36

      @@elnorton7113 that's whataboutism and just because someone criticizes China doesn't mean they think the US is moral.

    • @sirius1696
      @sirius1696 3 роки тому +5

      @@engagementengagement8836 no, but if you believe the US despite not a single Muslim country backing it up and this information being derived from Holocaust denier Adrien Zenz and a survey based on just 8 people from one prefecture then yes, you're assumption here is that the US is a moral actor in this case because there really isn't any independent corroboration. Do you believe that the Iraqi army ripped over 500 babies out of incubators in Kuwait too?

    • @engagementengagement8836
      @engagementengagement8836 3 роки тому +4

      @@sirius1696 I never even mentioned Iraq

  • @leilacherradi3485
    @leilacherradi3485 8 років тому +761

    Now I know why this man has so many viewers. The most intelligent funny US show there is now. In 20 minutes, the man has enlightened you about a whole issue...

    • @Quettesh
      @Quettesh 7 років тому +40

      The most funny US show presented by British person :D

    • @Robbie_S
      @Robbie_S 6 років тому +3

      The most funny US

    • @tomb7088
      @tomb7088 5 років тому +1

      He misinforms people in a very humorous way.

    • @arianaellis5689
      @arianaellis5689 5 років тому +18

      @@tomb7088 Where is the misinformation in this episode? I am always interested to hear where John Oliver gets things wrong, but when I researched information, the only thing I got are that there were more forms of mistreatment and torture used on the prisoners than John Oliver listed.

    • @tomb7088
      @tomb7088 5 років тому

      @@arianaellis5689 First things first, Obama never accomplished anything other than using an executive order. If you are going to say Obama care then that was a failure of the judicial system. Even if it was just another tax, then it would have had to have been started in the House of Representatives and it was started in the Senate.
      Gitmo is not "hell's waiting room". It is a freaking resort compared to most prisons all over the world.
      And it is Constitutional. Until these persons get into the US they do not enjoy Constitutional rights. That is why Gitmo exists.
      Why doesn't he care about the cost of the massive welfare state. It is ticking along at over 3 Trillion a year right now.
      Screw the UN, they have a human rights panel that has China, Saudi Arabia and Iran on it from crying out loud.
      And Pakistan hid Osama Bin Ladin for years, so they can go F themselves.
      And most of the rest of the countries whining about Gitmo are Muslim countries and many of them support terrorism.
      At least Mr Oliver called them out for that.
      What he doesn't mention is that when the US has offered to give countries back their citizens from Gitmo, they freak out and don't want them.
      And the ones that are released, at least 30% have been caught going back to terrorism.
      So, That is 3 minutes into the video, and that is the misinformation so far.
      Oh, and they are not tortured.
      No more than the average American teenager thinks having their cell phone taken away from them is torture.
      Or the average American kid thinks its torture seeing all the presents under the tree and having to wait until Christmas morning to open them.

  • @geniemiki
    @geniemiki 7 років тому +2245

    I actually meet with a Guantanamo detainee. He's french. He hasn't done shit but he was stupid and unlucky enough to get convinced by his radicalised brother to go on a lovely spiritual trip to Afghanistan...in september of 2001.
    He stayed there for 6 years. He explained to us how he was tortured and yet never accused of anything. One time he says, some CIA trainees took him for interrogation, gave hime a map of Paris despite him never setting foot in that city and asked him to name the Immams he frequented. So he made up some bullshit names and pointed randomly on the map some Mosques that of course he made out of his ass. The CIA agents went happily to write a report about extremist Immams that don't exist, that preach radical islam in Mosques that were never built, in a country they summerise to litteraly one city. They must have felt so proud.

    • @ArgentumEmperio
      @ArgentumEmperio 5 років тому +188

      @Memestealer696
      How do you know he's lying?
      This may sound unbelievable as well but I swear on my heart it is true; one time here in Sweden, in a small village up north, when on my way back home from a boring party my parents dragged me to...
      On the highway, I met monks. Monks who wore traditional orange tibetan monk robes... on a journey from the northern part of Sweden to the south.
      I'd be willing to swear this in front of any jury, take any lie detection tests and do anything to prove it to be true if someone met me in person and asked me to do it.
      Why?
      Because as unbelievable as it may sound... it is the truth.
      We live in a world that consists of more than a house, a backyard and whoever we grew up with. Is either one of our stories very likely?
      No, but neither is it for a man to dream of going to the moon as a kid and then in his adulthood stand thousands of miles away from Earth, looking into the sky where the moon would be to see Earth instead.
      Don't call someone a lier just because you haven't experienced it. You got proof, then show it.

    • @limari95
      @limari95 5 років тому +160

      @Memestealer696 i recommend you read 'Bad Men' by Clive Stafford Smith. He's a lawyer who represented many Guantanamo inmates and talks about their stories and the treatment of prisoners there. It was very shocking to read and shows that the situation is actually worse than the picture John Oliver paints here. So I don't know if that story he's telling in the comments is true or not, but it sure sounds a lot like how most of Guantanamo's prisoners ended up there.

    • @neihuslim
      @neihuslim 5 років тому +12

      @@ArgentumEmperio I believe you about the monks. I have doubts that men went to the moon and came back.

    • @davidyang5274
      @davidyang5274 5 років тому +11

      It's not believable that the CIA didn't even know he never visited paris, that they couldn't even figure out that the name of the Mosques he named are fake. Like a simple google search would show that its fake. Its just so idiotically made up story. Even if he was a CIA trainee, if he was sent to Guantamo Bay he should be way more competent than a detective and even a 10 year old with google can figure out hes lying. Its scary how gullible people are. Both left and rights are full of idiots that will believe anything without a second thought.

    • @blixer8384
      @blixer8384 5 років тому +113

      ​@@davidyang5274"It's not believable that the CIA didn't even know he never visited paris, that they couldn't even figure out that the name of the Mosques he named are fake." Considering the exact same thing happened previously no it's not unbelievable. The US Government went on a wild goose chase looking for radicalized black converts to Islam in Montana. A state where, following a quick google search, only 0.3% of the population are Black. Furthermore the fact that Torture is used at all is a pretty damning indication of how incompetent the CIA is. Even the Spanish Inquisition knew torture was an ineffective means of gaining information.

  • @vivelaresistance3239
    @vivelaresistance3239 5 років тому +2644

    “Theoretical future President Trump.” Ah, simpler times...

  • @canisxv9869
    @canisxv9869 4 роки тому +419

    I like to think it this way: Even if they are the "bad guys". They are humans and deserve to be treated in dignity and somewhat respect. Forced confessions have been proven countless times to be extremly unreliable.

    • @purplebean8989
      @purplebean8989 3 роки тому +56

      You dont treat them with respect because THEY deserve respect, you treat them with respect because YOU are the good person. Upholding and valuing the law means not acting like the criminals.

    • @PaperRaines
      @PaperRaines 3 роки тому +28

      @@purplebean8989 couldn't have said it better. When your behaviors are indistinguishable from the criminals you condemn, you should really take a step back and examine what you're doing and why you feel so righteous in doing so

    • @saeedvazirian
      @saeedvazirian 2 роки тому +2

      @@purplebean8989 you don't decide who deserves what.

    • @saeedvazirian
      @saeedvazirian 2 роки тому +1

      But they're not the bad guys.

    • @MissCaraMint
      @MissCaraMint 2 роки тому +4

      @@purplebean8989 I agree. It is to protect ourseves and our loved ones from becoming monsters that we do not condone torture. Remember that those who’s job it would be to carry out these awful things would have to go home to their families and to society at large at the end of the day.

  • @Chadwickyboy
    @Chadwickyboy 8 років тому +2285

    Guantanamo is Orwell's Ministry of Love.

    • @sandiegopete4955
      @sandiegopete4955 8 років тому +64

      Our whole criminal justice system is the Miniluv.

    • @Al-dp7hw
      @Al-dp7hw 8 років тому +39

      It's Friendship Gulag.

    • @justarock9553
      @justarock9553 8 років тому

      Who's Big Brother then?

    • @justarock9553
      @justarock9553 8 років тому +1

      Who's Big Brother then?

    • @buttfucker69
      @buttfucker69 8 років тому +40

      Is that a joke? Look up the NSA. Look up project prism. Big brother is us.

  • @miriamwheeler8104
    @miriamwheeler8104 4 роки тому +2021

    Seeing people talking about Trump being elected as a joke in the future makes me depressed.
    edit: love this comment cause since the fucker lost everyone’s replying with how much time he has left. It’s a very cheerful countdown.

    • @isaiahharris6497
      @isaiahharris6497 4 роки тому +25

      me too buddy

    • @yasisamiei7555
      @yasisamiei7555 4 роки тому +26

      I was just about to type something similar then I saw your comment. Yes it is indeed depressing.

    • @Maxamillios
      @Maxamillios 4 роки тому +6

      Lol no kidding right?

    • @rdubs1705
      @rdubs1705 4 роки тому +37

      What an absolute disaster trump has been.

    • @isaacleillhikar4566
      @isaacleillhikar4566 4 роки тому +3

      Especially when he had info from the guy who says the kind of stuff John Oliver says happened on the moon for real.

  • @anmxl_d
    @anmxl_d 8 років тому +1216

    I wanted to sleep.
    I wanted to watch John Oliver.
    Well, fuck sleep I guess

    • @DemHighTimes
      @DemHighTimes 8 років тому +1

      *~€===3*

    • @chrisridge5504
      @chrisridge5504 8 років тому

      Fn Tactical you know this isn't the Columbine right? Get outta here.

    • @emeraldkat2167
      @emeraldkat2167 8 років тому +3

      Columbus' holiday isn't observed in every state. I live in one where they decided to get rid of it.

    • @chrisridge5504
      @chrisridge5504 8 років тому

      Emerald kat I am not in Phoenix because I am visiting Michigan for fall break but I think up there they just changed it to indigenous peoples day.

    • @emeraldkat2167
      @emeraldkat2167 8 років тому +2

      ChrisRidge Oh wouldn't that be lovely here? They just completely got rid of it here in Colorado... Not that I mind (as I am in agreement with those who say you can't discover a place that has thousands already living there), but it does suck to not have the extra holiday.

  • @vanessaheine8093
    @vanessaheine8093 4 роки тому +47

    This man’s beautiful smile after all he suffered is just remarkable.

  • @arobiteme
    @arobiteme 6 років тому +401

    Funny enough, that Casio watch is also the watch that 90% of Air Force basic trainees buy at their first shopette run 😂

    • @alicialps635
      @alicialps635 5 років тому +9

      Briana Pierce and in American prisons.

    • @seekr6964
      @seekr6964 5 років тому +4

      Briana Pierce Are you kidding...? This is like a trilogy of disturbing to me..

    • @jareddauer4015
      @jareddauer4015 4 роки тому +4

      Same with the Navy hahaha

    • @assamurai
      @assamurai 4 роки тому +25

      Came to the comments to mention this (the strap on mine from BMT broke or else I'd probably still be wearing it today). It's an insanely popular watch. They still make 3 million of them a year, and the design is 31 years old. It's on military bases for general purchase, you can still find them in Wal-Marts, searching "Casio F-91W" turns up 1.3 million hits on Google (4.4 million without the quotation marks), and an image search can pull up pictures of the watch being worn by people like Obama, Bill Gates and Ryan Gosling wearing them. They're commonly counterfeited in certain parts of the world because the design is instantly recognizable and it's a really tough, cheap and reliable watch.
      They've been used in terrorism because they have a timer function and they're EVERYWHERE. There are easily tens of millions of them in circulation not even counting the counterfeits. Arrests based on *wearing* an F-91W are absolutely ridiculous. It's like claiming an association to terrorism because somebody's wearing Levi's jeans or ate at a KFC.

    • @trypptrapp266
      @trypptrapp266 4 роки тому +11

      I used the same watch because I really liked it. Especially the timer function. But I was never arrested/detained because of it. Probably because I'm white.

  • @lindaliestman4397
    @lindaliestman4397 5 років тому +28

    John Oliver, you truly are a remarkable human being! You have a way of explaining things people need to know. Thank you for all you do.

  • @BlackEagle352
    @BlackEagle352 8 років тому +741

    it's likely that John will just disappear after that impression.

    • @DemHighTimes
      @DemHighTimes 8 років тому

      *~€===3*

    • @aaaaaaaaz76
      @aaaaaaaaz76 8 років тому

      ~€===3

    • @LennyLenward
      @LennyLenward 8 років тому +1

      I like that people are spamming dicks in the comments

    • @IanWorris
      @IanWorris 8 років тому +12

      True, but can you immagine someone closing him in Guantamo for an impression? That's so medieval. I couldn't immagine something like that there in Russia.

    • @blubbl1000
      @blubbl1000 8 років тому +7

      Or the nice lads from the KGB will make him a "plutonium favored" tea lol...

  • @ashchoosespikachu
    @ashchoosespikachu 4 роки тому +277

    Vanilla ice literally looks like a Sims character xD

  • @RockHash
    @RockHash 8 років тому +724

    How the FUCK are we spending over 7 MILLION PER PRISONER.

    • @helenanilsson5666
      @helenanilsson5666 8 років тому +30

      I was kind of expecting to find someone in the comment section who'd calculate how much that cost could buy in, say, public schools, health care, bombs - whatever it is that American's want their tax money to go towards.

    • @paxdriver
      @paxdriver 8 років тому +35

      I don't imagine the torture professional comes cheap, nor are the psychiatrists who have to look after torturer's mental health

    • @CreepyBlackDude
      @CreepyBlackDude 8 років тому +27

      What was the number he gave as Guantanamo's budget? $445 million or something like that? All to keep 63 people detained. 445 mil / 63 = A bit over 7 mil. Shocking number. I probably won't spend that much on my self in my entire lifetime.

    • @matthewbyrne836
      @matthewbyrne836 8 років тому +4

      American Conservatism currently means less regulation for business and less workers rights. Corporate interests have corrupted the Democrats, the Media, and the GOP. jill2016 .com

    • @SimAlgyaxSaTun
      @SimAlgyaxSaTun 8 років тому +4

      hahahhaahahahahahaha government got bigger with Reagan, Bush 1 and Bush 2......look it up. hahahhahahahahahahaha

  • @omarshah1614
    @omarshah1614 6 років тому +4030

    Harry Potter and the Prisoners of Afghanistan

    • @blackcountryme
      @blackcountryme 6 років тому +21

      Omar Shah prisoner from Afghanistan!!

    • @samyen3210
      @samyen3210 6 років тому +5

      Lol

    • @jeremywarner899
      @jeremywarner899 5 років тому +8

      Instant classic

    • @sumairb9978
      @sumairb9978 5 років тому +16

      Criminally underrated comment right here

    • @teja2295
      @teja2295 5 років тому +27

      I didn't know the US was rolling with dementors. Imma go practice my patronus

  • @Tiwack01
    @Tiwack01 8 років тому +43

    "Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."
    -Benjamin Franklin

  • @thereilway
    @thereilway 3 роки тому +82

    When those in favour of keeping Guantánamo hear the phrase "these people are the worst of the worst", they're focusing far too much on " the worst", and not nearly enough on the "people".

    • @MissCaraMint
      @MissCaraMint 2 роки тому +4

      I agree. Even the worst people are first and foremost people. What kind of people can we be if we treat our fellow humans like this?

  • @sergiorivaslamas
    @sergiorivaslamas 8 років тому +14

    Excellent SHOW. I love every smart joke that HE makes. I am from latinamerica and the clarity of thinking and awareness of present days of Oliver is remarkable

  • @skoony2995
    @skoony2995 5 років тому +31

    As someone who was stationed on gitmo we felt the same as that guy said. There was no happiness there, not to mention it was a career killer.

  • @aaron1325
    @aaron1325 8 років тому +778

    It's not gay if it's on the moon

    • @LunaS043
      @LunaS043 6 років тому +4

      I too watch the Achievment Hunter

    • @DRDOGGE-ep9xg
      @DRDOGGE-ep9xg 6 років тому +5

      well we've got the first true moonpie

    • @rabidrabids5348
      @rabidrabids5348 6 років тому +3

      You're ruining my childhood by arguing.

    • @blackcountryme
      @blackcountryme 6 років тому +3

      Lol, it's out of this world...

    • @brain_apostrophe_t
      @brain_apostrophe_t 6 років тому +10

      In space no one can hear you fuckin

  • @vaevictus4637
    @vaevictus4637 4 роки тому +134

    That just happens to be the EXACT Casio watch handed out to every single basic training trainee in the Air Force.

  • @allisondoak9425
    @allisondoak9425 8 років тому +130

    Cuba can give me those checks if they haven't the room.

    • @DemHighTimes
      @DemHighTimes 8 років тому

      *~€===3* *~€===3* *~€===3* *~€===3*

    • @bobbiusshadow6985
      @bobbiusshadow6985 8 років тому

      cuz not human.......bot acting out the program

  • @LatinoHeAt662011
    @LatinoHeAt662011 8 років тому +544

    When an entire nation is afraid of, or worried about a Casio watch, that is when you know it's at rock bottom.

    • @BeefPapa
      @BeefPapa 8 років тому +18

      first world issues. you have absolutely no idea what rock bottom is like.

    • @agentindiana3415
      @agentindiana3415 8 років тому +5

      #Firstworldproblems. (I live in the US! Fun right!)

    • @blorenz1011
      @blorenz1011 8 років тому +9

      There is an argument that at least third world countries aren't responsible for creating terrorism.

    • @Mach2style
      @Mach2style 8 років тому

      I wouldn't say an entire nation but, our government and martial staff do quantify it as militant gear now. Literally, you can google it and its a listed item but people shouldn't take it as a joke like you are making it. We should be aware of every possible device or method the enemy utilizes because it will be your or my life on the line when a random attacking occurs.

    • @beastmr919
      @beastmr919 7 років тому +1

      when a fucking guy say entire nation while it is an army thing then you know this comment is stupid

  • @Flight_of_Icarus
    @Flight_of_Icarus 8 років тому +1402

    "One innocent man in jail is better than a guilty man running free" That is Soviet thinking, right there people.

    • @hendrik5135
      @hendrik5135 8 років тому +104

      2,5mio - number of people in jail in the "land of the free", the US - no other country has more.

    • @RKroese
      @RKroese 8 років тому +33

      "One innocent man dead is better than a nation destroyed." - Jewish High Priest in the year 32.

    • @RKroese
      @RKroese 8 років тому +4

      Basil Ajith Wauw... I want to +100 your comment.

    • @ShadowFalcon
      @ShadowFalcon 8 років тому +27

      Iconoclasm_ close. It's actually GDR (German Democratic Republic, or East Germany) thinking.
      I mean literally.
      The Stasi prison in Berlin, called Hohenschönhausen, was essentially like Gitmo, except with more psychological torture, and less physical.

    • @Monmon-fh8zl
      @Monmon-fh8zl 8 років тому +17

      In the Cambodian genocide, they say "Better arrest (and kill) the wrong man rather than set one free".

  • @christopherprescott4221
    @christopherprescott4221 5 років тому +26

    The best expose on Gitmo I have ever seen. Well done sir.

  • @benedictschurwanz987
    @benedictschurwanz987 8 років тому +38

    There are very good reasons for having laws like Innocent Until Proven Guilty and Habeas Corpus (it being illegal to hold a person in prison without charging them with a crime).

  • @DarkKnight-uz3os
    @DarkKnight-uz3os 8 років тому +891

    18:15 his Russian accent is funny as hell

    • @DarkKnight-uz3os
      @DarkKnight-uz3os 8 років тому

      that man😂

    • @Maryfcp
      @Maryfcp 8 років тому

      Uday Bhasker q

    • @kylestubbs8867
      @kylestubbs8867 8 років тому

      Uday Bhasker I know there's irony there, but can someone explain it to me?

    • @Cosmodjinn
      @Cosmodjinn 8 років тому +4

      John's response was gold; making them disappear :P

    • @NoCokeOnlyIce
      @NoCokeOnlyIce 8 років тому +6

      Uday Bhasker it's more Hungarian

  • @carultch
    @carultch 5 років тому +181

    Is Vladimir Putin his own translator? The voice sounds just like him speaking English.

    • @jimmyoakmeister
      @jimmyoakmeister 5 років тому +21

      He does have great English, so it is possible

    • @CloudsGirl7
      @CloudsGirl7 4 роки тому +3

      Yeah, really captured the sleaze and hypocrisy.

    • @belvinnadar5782
      @belvinnadar5782 4 роки тому +35

      Putin is an ex-KGB. I'm pretty sure he knows more than a bunch of languages.

    • @MasterMinderLp
      @MasterMinderLp 4 роки тому +16

      He was stationed in East Germany so he at least speaks Russian, English and German pretty flawless

    • @adrielsebastian5216
      @adrielsebastian5216 3 роки тому +9

      His English sounds like he's talking while someone's squeezing his ballsack. I think there's a video of that.
      But his German is impeccable, unsurprisingly, he's a former KGB agent in Easy Germany.

  • @vieuxnez
    @vieuxnez 4 роки тому +288

    "It is better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer." is ... I thought... pretty well accepted? ... no?

    • @mme.veronica735
      @mme.veronica735 4 роки тому +10

      Except it's been shown that during the Bush era 26% became affiliated woth the Taliban and only ~6% in the Obama era. Is it better that 3-20 innocents suffer for one guilty

    • @TheNinthGeneration1
      @TheNinthGeneration1 3 роки тому +15

      @@mme.veronica735 the easiest way to argue against it is this: there will always be guilty people who are free regardless of our actions, so we should try and protect those who are innocent who are easier to keep free, than to harm innocents to ineffectively stop some of the guilty

    • @litmusaero2645
      @litmusaero2645 3 роки тому

      @Your Majesty, America is innocent until guilty, im not sure if any other countries are the opposite but Iran wouldn't suprise me. Or north Korea. Although I think in North Korea your just guilty

    • @michaelvaughan4140
      @michaelvaughan4140 3 роки тому +5

      @@litmusaero2645 isn't that exactly why GITMO isn't on US soil?

    • @ThunderStruck15
      @ThunderStruck15 3 роки тому

      @@mme.veronica735 so 74% and 94% didn’t?

  • @darkartsdabbler2407
    @darkartsdabbler2407 8 років тому +705

    It's kind of funny how humanity holds itself in such high regard. We think we're so smart, and cultured, and civilized.
    Hahaha

    • @gfox9295
      @gfox9295 8 років тому +37

      Well, compared to a rock... or some dirt... sure. We're very special. In the greater scheme of things.
      But... such a waste of potential.

    • @darkartsdabbler2407
      @darkartsdabbler2407 8 років тому +7

      ***** I couldn't have possibly put it any better. A waste of potential indeed.

    • @agentindiana3415
      @agentindiana3415 8 років тому +6

      what do you mean by pro global warming?

    • @agentindiana3415
      @agentindiana3415 8 років тому +1

      is that people that think global warming is good?

    • @agentindiana3415
      @agentindiana3415 8 років тому

      also i believe that while we made global warming speed up it would of happened anyway and is not a completely from us. though we did help

  • @kahukura5154
    @kahukura5154 4 роки тому +437

    "Obama's leaving, and there's still a chance his successor could be this guy"
    Me: No don't show Trump, don't show Trump, Oh come on, like salt, I mean disinfectant in an open wound (Injected to one).

    • @esobelisk3110
      @esobelisk3110 4 роки тому +5

      Zaphod Whiskers lmao

    • @Karaboo7
      @Karaboo7 4 роки тому +13

      @Zaphod Whiskers Trump has basically condemned hundreds of thousands of Americans to death, I think even if they were a "crybaby" they have every right to be at this horrific state of affairs.

    • @luminatron
      @luminatron 4 роки тому +4

      @Zaphod Whiskers Yes! Fuck that guy for hating a president that fucks poor people over! MAGA🇷🇺🇺🇸🇷🇺🇺🇸🇷🇺🇺🇸🇷🇺🇺🇸🇷🇺🇺🇸/s

    • @aaronsilvera177
      @aaronsilvera177 3 роки тому +1

      it gets worse.

    • @georgenichols7718
      @georgenichols7718 3 роки тому +1

      @@Karaboo7 Na he condemned over 500,000 people to date, because of his inactions and lies. Oh and on top of that people storming the capitol because of his months long remarks.

  • @XanderTuron
    @XanderTuron 8 років тому +443

    6:43 Ah Willem Dafoe, for when your movie needs a monster, and you don't have the budget for a costume or effects.

    • @TUCHENZ
      @TUCHENZ 8 років тому +15

      actually that's steve buscemi

    • @XanderTuron
      @XanderTuron 8 років тому

      My bad.

    • @noctuferus
      @noctuferus 8 років тому +11

      lol no it's not... that's definitely Willem Dafoe

    • @harundoener
      @harundoener 8 років тому +4

      you talking about the death note movie XD ?

    • @TUCHENZ
      @TUCHENZ 8 років тому

      wtf is death note?

  • @jentaro
    @jentaro 5 років тому +71

    "You've got a rock solid case there, Vanilla"

  • @siddharthkrishnan3317
    @siddharthkrishnan3317 8 років тому +387

    Fucking beautiful ending! LMAO

    • @kitsunefire1
      @kitsunefire1 8 років тому +45

      Really the only reason I'm voting for Hillary
      To keep John Oliver out of Gitmo
      #keepjohnsafe2k17

    • @asecrethollywoodtranny6379
      @asecrethollywoodtranny6379 8 років тому

      Trump is a new JFK.
      “This election will determine if we are a free nation or whether we have only the illusion of democracy, but are in fact controlled by a small handful of global special interests rigging the system, and our system is rigged,”
      “Our corrupt political establishment, that is the greatest power behind the efforts at radical globalization and the disenfranchisement of working people. Their financial resources are virtually unlimited, their political resources are unlimited, their media resources are unmatched.”
      “Our great civilization here in America and across the civilized world has come across a moment of reckoning. We’ve seen it in the United Kingdom, where they voted to liberate themselves from global government and global trade deals and global immigration deals that have destroyed their sovereignty and have destroyed many of those nations. The central base of world political power is right here in America, our corrupt political establishment that is the greatest power behind the efforts at radical globalization and the disenfranchisement of working people.”
      “The corporate media in our country is no longer involved in journalism, they are a political special interest, no different than any other … with an agenda, and the agenda is not for you, it’s for themselves …
      “The establishment and their media enablers wield control over this nation through means that are very well known.”

    • @kitsunefire1
      @kitsunefire1 8 років тому

      Anton Ivanov Man, you must be a riot at parties

    • @jaqenhghar4758
      @jaqenhghar4758 8 років тому +5

      Anton, your comparison isn't the least bit credible because Trump himself has a history of "rigging the system." I'm not comparing who is most corrupt between Hillary and Trump (as I support neither), but to use these quotes as attributes of who Trump is and will be..... is lying to one's self.

    • @landshark1949
      @landshark1949 8 років тому +3

      Trump doesn't know what he's doing. Hillary is corrupt. We're pretty much fucked no matter which way it goes.

  • @RadioOppy1
    @RadioOppy1 4 роки тому +125

    John Oliver: President Obama
    Random man: WOOOOOO!

  • @lonelynightm
    @lonelynightm 8 років тому +107

    You know it is bad when this isn't the first time John has been talking about Guantanamo Bay on this show...
    *See you next time this comes back on this show, because you know it probably isn't closing anytime soon.* :(

    • @DemHighTimes
      @DemHighTimes 8 років тому

      *~€===3*

    • @aaaaaaaaz76
      @aaaaaaaaz76 8 років тому

      ~€===3

    • @michaelweston2285
      @michaelweston2285 8 років тому +2

      i would hope most of the viewers don't gauge their political awareness and social constructs on things a comedian brings up on a comedy news show

    • @michaeljohnson9916
      @michaeljohnson9916 8 років тому

      The ones that don't voted for Trump. Your point?

    • @lenajohnson6179
      @lenajohnson6179 8 років тому +3

      When he's the only one talking sense than he is the only one talking sense. Our Presidential candidates are a criminal and an idiot. We're screwed. We sure as shit should not gauge our political awareness and social constructs on anything our government has been crapping out its mouth for the last decade.

  • @ProfessorOzone
    @ProfessorOzone 5 років тому +8

    I said it with Jon Steward and I'll say it with John Oliver and their staff, they are the ones that should be getting Nobel prizes!

  • @Somerandomguy524
    @Somerandomguy524 6 років тому +71

    "There is still a possibility its gonna be this guy..." the irony.

  • @antwonvalentino9866
    @antwonvalentino9866 8 років тому +56

    "we know their guilty of something" you hear that folks? Thought crime is still a crime.

    • @14Schofield
      @14Schofield 8 років тому +2

      That's not what a thought crime is. :P

    • @antwonvalentino9866
      @antwonvalentino9866 8 років тому +14

      14Schofield​ you're probaly right. I just find it funny how they make the claim of them being gulity of something, we are ALL guilty of something that doesn't justify throwing anyone in prison off the bat or hunch which ever. "We know they're gulity of something we just don't know what yet." It's almost like saying, I think they're guilty of something but I don't know what." The fact that they can make a claim like that is dangerous.

    • @ADerpyReality
      @ADerpyReality 6 років тому

      Well USA is religious

  • @Musicluver742
    @Musicluver742 8 років тому +20

    I love how John Oliver doesn't just talk about daily news but important subject matters. My cousin was stationed at Gitmo and he said it was horrific. Gitmo needs to close.

  • @saranghae2808
    @saranghae2808 3 роки тому +2

    John Oliver, I just want to say I love you. Thank you for this piece.

  • @pathacker4963
    @pathacker4963 8 років тому +216

    I was hoping hurricane Matthew would take it out.

    • @destinychild.1322
      @destinychild.1322 8 років тому +68

      You can't just make hurricane Matthew get rid of your problems America.
      It's your country fix it

    • @pathacker4963
      @pathacker4963 8 років тому +31

      As just average citizens here in the USA we really don't have much power to affect any change. Our presidential primaries should have pointed that out to the rest of the world. Most of our votes never count even when we do cast them. Money is the only thing that counts in the USA. And most of us have only enough money to pay the rent, buy a few groceries, and gas to get back and forth to work.
      We went without meals to support Bernie, but we were no real threat to the corrupt Clinton political machine.
      I upvoted you because I agree, but I just don't know what we can do about it.

    • @destinychild.1322
      @destinychild.1322 8 років тому +6

      Pat Hacker i understand Canada isn't doing too well right now either

    • @NathanCassidy721
      @NathanCassidy721 8 років тому +16

      If Hurricane Katrina couldn't take it out, nothing will.

    • @HavokMakerX
      @HavokMakerX 8 років тому +3

      armed revolt pheraphs?

  • @live_kaito_reaction
    @live_kaito_reaction 8 років тому +345

    Idk what this video is talking about, Big Boss destroyed Guantanamo Bay in 10 minutes in 1974.

  • @Hazzardworks
    @Hazzardworks 8 років тому +456

    That exact watch is on my wrist right now. Does this make me a terrorist?

    • @ApliPi
      @ApliPi 8 років тому +95

      sorry man, but you know the rules

    • @moriellymoproblems7842
      @moriellymoproblems7842 8 років тому +48

      Make Casio Great Again.

    • @SuigaRou
      @SuigaRou 8 років тому +82

      It does. Stop terroring please.

    • @neiltrichel1701
      @neiltrichel1701 8 років тому +32

      Hazzardworks given the increasingly vague definition of terrorism used in the last few years, probably.

    • @jackieboyborden
      @jackieboyborden 8 років тому +1

      Same.

  • @ioncamin5
    @ioncamin5 4 роки тому +3

    ive watched all these pieces 4 times so far in the spawn of 4 years, looking forward to the 5th, this is gold content, both funny and very educational

  • @dotter8
    @dotter8 8 років тому +59

    I used to have a Casio watch like that. It played this cute French folk song as its alarm.

    • @MagentaSpikesImprov
      @MagentaSpikesImprov 8 років тому +19

      My dad SOLD Casio watches. Haha... ahh..um. yeah.

    • @tori2dles
      @tori2dles 8 років тому +16

      Magenta Spikes - I was an NGO worker in Afgh & took in at least 25 Casio watches to give as gifts to national staff, esteemed leaders, etc. I know no one I have them to ended up in Gitmo, but that part sure made me shudder. And that was only a few months after 9/11. 😓

    • @JazzKeyboardist1
      @JazzKeyboardist1 8 років тому

      my casio watch played the history of the world theme by that French girl saying.. All we have are these stupid accents.. Yes it is good to be the king of my zip code

  • @jaungiga
    @jaungiga 8 років тому +76

    That ending, though

  • @BFFsEngineer
    @BFFsEngineer 8 років тому +617

    Damn , now that I realize, John Oliver's going into Guantanamo

    • @ee-ef8qr
      @ee-ef8qr 6 років тому +7

      You mean LitMo.

    • @MarsLonsen
      @MarsLonsen 6 років тому

      BFFs Engineer ARE YOU A MAN!?

    • @thisisabadname7599
      @thisisabadname7599 6 років тому +2

      BFFs Engineer sup engineer what's that idiot noob doing these days

    • @supergluehotty
      @supergluehotty 6 років тому +2

      Love it how every comment in respknse to this is about neebs gaming.

    • @velenceigabor1418
      @velenceigabor1418 5 років тому +1

      No, he is an important tool to keep the people calm by providing laughter.

  • @mazharrazmian
    @mazharrazmian 4 роки тому +50

    F**k man, i used to wear that watch in my high school when I was in Waziristan (near Afghanistan), these watches are SO SO common in parts of Pakistan and Afghanistan that are closer to each other.

    • @wesam6676
      @wesam6676 3 роки тому +3

      Yep that watch was super popular in the middle east in the late 90s early 2000s

    • @saranghae2808
      @saranghae2808 3 роки тому +1

      Wow

  • @vanessaaraujo5340
    @vanessaaraujo5340 8 років тому +38

    "I'm okay with a few innocent people there". What a great guy.

  • @tuerda
    @tuerda 8 років тому +26

    Paused at 12:40 to look down at my left wrist -- yup, I am wearing that exact watch right now.

    • @EVIL1357
      @EVIL1357 8 років тому

      I think I used to own one? I used to really like digital watches, I've gone analog these days, though.

    • @tuerda
      @tuerda 8 років тому

      ***** huh?

    • @bhatl07
      @bhatl07 8 років тому

      tuerda

  • @QueenMegaera
    @QueenMegaera 7 років тому +4

    An old (probably) arab man explaining his experience in Gitmo by talking in depth about Azkaban and Dementors from a UK children's book is simultaneously the most beautiful and the most tragic thing I've ever a heard. I don't care if he misspronounced it. I want to give that man a hug.

  • @dragonnestking3418
    @dragonnestking3418 5 років тому +469

    Harry Potter and the Syrian Stone
    Harry Potter and the Gitmo Secret
    Harry Potter and the prisoners of Afghanistan
    Harry Potter and the Goblet of Torture
    Harry Potter and the Order of the MAGA
    Harry Potter and the water boarding prince
    Harry Potter and the deathly isle.
    This is the Gitmo translation for the Harry Potter series, have fun reading the description as it will probably be passages of these new translations.

    • @DeeJayFM
      @DeeJayFM 5 років тому +9

      Can't wait for the movie adaptations

    • @ashenguard_1437
      @ashenguard_1437 5 років тому +2

      Yuno_Gasai r u a fan of future diary series

    • @jedediahjehoshaphat
      @jedediahjehoshaphat 4 роки тому

      I hope they make a porn parody of it soon

    • @jenygee1
      @jenygee1 4 роки тому +3

      Cant wait to read Harry Potter and the Short-shackeld prisoner!I heard it was originally a play.

    • @saeedvazirian
      @saeedvazirian 3 роки тому

      im glad torture, rape and Islamophobia is a joke to you.

  • @pietrocelano23
    @pietrocelano23 8 років тому +29

    *intro*
    John:-President Obama.
    Someone in the pubblic:-*WHOO!

    • @MysteryMii
      @MysteryMii 8 років тому +9

      Pietro Celano That person must really love Obama.

    • @saeedvazirian
      @saeedvazirian 5 років тому

      @@MysteryMii Because they're stupid?

  • @elkiness
    @elkiness 8 років тому +5

    Excellent. Good to see someone caring and understanding the important points and making them so clear.

  • @pryingeyes1551
    @pryingeyes1551 8 років тому +10

    After reading the lyrics to that Whitesnake song, and earnestly considering them for the first time. I can see how they'd be inspirational, contextually.

  • @saralawlor8389
    @saralawlor8389 4 роки тому +23

    I'm watching in 2020, and literally jumped when I heard the audience laugh

  • @penelopeclaire539
    @penelopeclaire539 7 років тому +166

    I'm going back and watching videos from before 2017. I miss the days when obama was president and there was hope that things could possibly get better.

    • @ravensalvadore7723
      @ravensalvadore7723 5 років тому +21

      I know, right? But also, it really hurts hearing John say "it's a possibility". Because now, it's a reality, and that sucks.

    • @colgantm111
      @colgantm111 5 років тому +4

      Talia Sloman-Moll not to long and trump will be out of office

    • @softyzz69
      @softyzz69 5 років тому +2

      Lmfao obama was and will always be the worst president in history hell Richard Nixon and Trump both were charged with impeachment and they are still better than barrack

    • @clockworkkirlia7475
      @clockworkkirlia7475 4 роки тому +1

      I hope that you can regain your hope. The world is still, slowly, improving. Slowly enough to make me mad, but it's not reversing as much as it seems.

    • @softyzz69
      @softyzz69 4 роки тому

      @Krista Star um no he wasn't

  • @Yakhashe
    @Yakhashe 8 років тому +22

    those henry kissinger jokes never get old xD

    • @415s30
      @415s30 8 років тому

      I work on shows and I know a guy that is a stagehand who worked at Bohemian Grove for an event, he said Kissinger and some others were drunk chasing girls around in the forest.

    • @14Schofield
      @14Schofield 8 років тому

      That's not evil enough for Kissinger. ;)

    • @MissCaraMint
      @MissCaraMint 2 роки тому

      You know I can’t help having a soft spot for the man. Whatever els he did, he is the reason my parents met. He taught a university course where my parents both enrolled.

  • @HonestArse
    @HonestArse 8 років тому +17

    ending was perfect.

  • @beatthegreat7020
    @beatthegreat7020 3 роки тому +33

    I love that at the end the audience cheered at the concept of Oliver being detained and tortured for the rest of his life.

  • @hydnk8866
    @hydnk8866 8 років тому +128

    If Donald's going to send bad dudes what about the bad gals?

    • @rodneywarren1905
      @rodneywarren1905 8 років тому +33

      If they are a 10 then they won't get sent. Otherwise they are trash as far as Donald is concerned.

    • @questal25
      @questal25 8 років тому +88

      he's going to grab them by the pussy

    • @archdukeferdinandofthe3rdc9
      @archdukeferdinandofthe3rdc9 8 років тому +59

      If they're a 10 they stay, if they're a 5 he builds a wall around them, and if they're a 1 he deports them

    • @countchocula2169
      @countchocula2169 8 років тому +2

      Softball over the plate

    • @Kenz305
      @Kenz305 8 років тому +41

      Rosie O'Donnell, Meagan Kelly, and models who gain weight will be the first sent to gitmo.

  • @ericwhite2497
    @ericwhite2497 8 років тому +78

    No discussion of the *CIA Torture Report*, no discussion of the *National Defense Authorization Act* (NDAA), no discussion of the daily beatings, the forced feeding, the sleep deprivation, the sensory deprivation, nothing. If John told less jokes and focused more on the inhumane, unconstitutional conditions of Guantanamo, then maybe, just maybe, we'd sway far more people into the "SHUT IT THE FUCK DOWN!" category.

    • @felixloewenich2202
      @felixloewenich2202 8 років тому +46

      He actually already talked about torture in another piece

    • @Damd234
      @Damd234 8 років тому +5

      Just saying, HBO(or a part of it which I can't name) controls his script, so they have could probably not allowed him to talk about it. I dunno.

    • @afgriderx3387
      @afgriderx3387 8 років тому +4

      Definitely a good start to bring awareness to the wilfully ignorant masses.

    • @s70driver2005
      @s70driver2005 8 років тому +4

      you say wilfully ignorant but coming dude do you know about every single thing going on in this country? the world? there's plenty of stuff people don't know, & that's a part if it.

    • @Cd123z
      @Cd123z 8 років тому +16

      He is a comedian, it's his job to primarily make jokes...

  • @balwanidipesh1197
    @balwanidipesh1197 8 років тому +12

    I died at the end, lmao this guy is the best

  • @MCPunk55
    @MCPunk55 4 роки тому +43

    Wow... if my dad went to America in the 90s, he'd be arrested. He had that Casio watch.

  • @ylvadahl8443
    @ylvadahl8443 8 років тому +13

    "…the keys to Azkaban will be handed over to whoever succeeds him and there is still a possibility that it will be You-Know-Who." did Mr Oliver not say.

  • @cesardelarose701
    @cesardelarose701 8 років тому +12

    when you have school tomorrow but see a john oliver upload....

    • @jerryroberts9611
      @jerryroberts9611 8 років тому +5

      But tomorrow's Columbus Day...

    • @jeffreymuu5451
      @jeffreymuu5451 8 років тому +26

      Jerry Roberts That nigga didn't do anything good

    • @jerryroberts9611
      @jerryroberts9611 8 років тому +2

      +Jeffrey Muu True true.

    • @jeffreymuu5451
      @jeffreymuu5451 8 років тому

      Could I just say why hasn't John Oliver made a video dedicated to harambe?
      And yes the cancer starts

  • @jesseekkerd
    @jesseekkerd 8 років тому +16

    "Standing up for our highest ideals, even when it requires accepting a certain amount of risk." Couldn't have said it better myself.

  • @marzizzo
    @marzizzo 6 років тому +77

    Watching 19:54 in 2018...I'm so sorry Johnny

    • @jacintovski
      @jacintovski 5 років тому +4

      2019 I'm so sorry...

    • @lorax6001
      @lorax6001 4 роки тому +3

      @@jacintovski 2020

    • @trypptrapp266
      @trypptrapp266 4 роки тому +1

      The longer it lasts, the more depressed I become

    • @diyagore1784
      @diyagore1784 3 роки тому +4

      Jan 7th 2021. I'm so, so, so, sorry.

    • @marzizzo
      @marzizzo 3 роки тому

      @@diyagore1784 what a fool i was

  • @trevorwall87
    @trevorwall87 6 років тому +6

    I was expecting queen "I want to break free" 😂😂😂😂

  • @andro7862
    @andro7862 8 років тому +373

    Guantanamo is an american gulag.

    • @davidwuhrer6704
      @davidwuhrer6704 8 років тому +32

      I am afraid I have to disagree with you there.
      The prisoners in the gulags had been found guilty of something.

    • @Not_actually_a_commie
      @Not_actually_a_commie 8 років тому +27

      +David Wührer Not really.

    • @destroya3303
      @destroya3303 8 років тому +9

      Gulags were far worse than the concentration camps. Nazis kept many hundreds of thousands of Jews alive throughout the war in work camps, while soviet gulags worked prisoners to death.

    • @DanKaraJordan
      @DanKaraJordan 8 років тому +10

      I take it that you have never read "One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich." I hate the everything about Gitmo, but we do not need hyperbole tossed in to confuse the issues. All that does is undermine and minimize the horrific suffering of people who were put through genuine Russian Gulags.

    • @dawnadriana1764
      @dawnadriana1764 8 років тому +4

      I remember a quote from that magnificent book to the effect that a man who is warm cannot feel for one who is cold. Something like that. And a perfect analogy to how we Americans, warm and fuzzy in our patriotic blankets, cannot look suffering in the face and feel anything.

  • @jjvagnar1
    @jjvagnar1 5 років тому +27

    19:38
    Watching this bit in 2019 is just excruciating ly painful

    • @heatherbedard4671
      @heatherbedard4671 4 роки тому +4

      give it a year. it gets worse.

    • @randompastahandle
      @randompastahandle 3 роки тому

      @@heatherbedard4671 don't worry, it gets better. But not back to normal. Than it just stays like that for 7 months.

  • @schattentaenzerin
    @schattentaenzerin 3 роки тому +7

    There really needs to be a "The last years tonight" show once a month that shows what happened to the all the topics and brings them back to attention.

  • @pts5217
    @pts5217 5 років тому +4

    The grandparents line was pure brilliance

  • @elliotmaher8972
    @elliotmaher8972 4 роки тому +24

    I was wearing that same exact Casio watch when I watched that. Guess it's off to Gitmo.

  • @andrewharper1609
    @andrewharper1609 5 років тому +17

    Holy .... I had one of those Casio watches when I was about seven before I got the one with a built in calculator.

  • @AFN2750
    @AFN2750 4 роки тому +45

    Remember when the problem with the president was that he couldn’t do a good thing that he tried to do? I am anxiously awaiting the time when we can once again do that with a president who is actually a human being.

    • @GM-yb5yg
      @GM-yb5yg 3 роки тому +3

      Then you are wasting away. No decent human being would want to, nor be allowed to have that kind of power. Time to realize the system is working exactly the way it's supposed to and not the way we want it to.

    • @dirrdevil
      @dirrdevil 3 роки тому +7

      Obama didn't try. Sure, Trump was worse. But don't pretend Obama really wanted to do great things, but couldn't. Democrats are just less evil Republicans; still evil.

    • @alexandrezani
      @alexandrezani 2 роки тому

      Obama did not really want to close Gitmo. If he had wanted to, he could have simply ordered the prisoners escorted on a plane, flown to the United States and let the DoJ take over.

    • @MissCaraMint
      @MissCaraMint 2 роки тому

      @@dirrdevil Oh he did try, but the made the mistake of thinking that he could bargin his way to a solution. There are people who don’t look at compromise and see good will and wisdom, but see weakness insted. The government is full of them now. The Republicans are the worst offenders, but the Democrats have started to follow. It’s pure idiosy.

  • @dagewastaken7236
    @dagewastaken7236 4 роки тому +3

    That impression of Putin was one of the funniest thing I've ever seen. BLOWS MY MIND

  • @nicolemcdonald2910
    @nicolemcdonald2910 7 років тому +21

    John Oliver’s Russian accent sounds like Mike Myers Shrek voice.

  • @tomasobroin4610
    @tomasobroin4610 4 роки тому +9

    I was a sailor stationed at Guantánamo for just over a year - it was depressing back in the 80s now even more so I suspect.

  • @scottpeterson7500
    @scottpeterson7500 5 років тому +8

    The Universal Declaration of Human Rights: read it, love it, live it 🥰🍾🥂🇬🇧

    • @sirius1696
      @sirius1696 3 роки тому +1

      Right to healthcare? Education? Housing? Take that commie shit to Cuba. Here in America it's medical bankruptcy, trillion dollar student debt, and 7 times as many vacant houses as there are homeless people. That's called freedom, son 🇺🇸 🦅🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🦅

  • @KryssLaBryn
    @KryssLaBryn 8 років тому +14

    You know, in WWII, Canada had several POW camps for the Allies. Do you know, German soldiers were so well-treated that when they were released at the end of the war, a whole bunch of them went home, saw the state Germany was in, grabbed their families, and moved back to Canada?
    Treating your prisoners *well* has a lot more positive results for everyone than treating them like inhuman monsters. Just a thought.

  • @AlexVostox
    @AlexVostox 8 років тому +99

    HOLY TARTARUS!! I WEARS THE CASIO F-91W..So, theoretically I'm freakin' terrorist!

    • @harshmellow5026
      @harshmellow5026 8 років тому +7

      Get em bois

    • @RKroese
      @RKroese 8 років тому +3

      What do you mean... theoretically? >.>

    • @bigemugamer
      @bigemugamer 8 років тому +1

      LOL XD

    • @Chartoise
      @Chartoise 8 років тому +3

      Admitted... It's one of the better Casio watches...

    • @RKroese
      @RKroese 8 років тому +3

      Chartoise I...really... REALLY...
      ...like your avatar.

  • @sphamncwango4013
    @sphamncwango4013 5 років тому +4

    4:56 just putting this here so I can come back to it every now and then

  • @filthycasuals9644
    @filthycasuals9644 8 років тому +8

    When historians talk about great orators, John Oliver should be used as a modern comparison. This piece is art.

  • @Zeiru
    @Zeiru 8 років тому +10

    "I've been shit-talking this guy for the better part of a year and I own a Casio watch."
    Guys, that's not a joke... In this context, that's terrifying in the realest ways.

  • @SirNubbin
    @SirNubbin 7 років тому +9

    I'm wearing A Casio Watch and I love Grape Nuts. I will now wait for the swat to kick down my door.

  • @GlennDavey
    @GlennDavey 4 роки тому +8

    4:30 This is why I can never show this program to my parents. I love it though.

  • @jeffreybaldwin9588
    @jeffreybaldwin9588 8 років тому +157

    If Trump really wants to keep Gitmo open, let's put him in there. He probably has a casio watch anyways.

    • @kyleprice5459
      @kyleprice5459 5 років тому

      Its a rolley not a stop watch
      Shit dont never stop

    • @adarshsatane2334
      @adarshsatane2334 5 років тому +3

      reading this in 2019 feels funny

    • @saeedvazirian
      @saeedvazirian 5 років тому

      How's this about Trump? Obama kept it open too. They're both scumbags.

    • @ddmgaming4823
      @ddmgaming4823 5 років тому +1

      @@saeedvazirian congress didnt allow Obama to...he wanted it close

    • @JacquelineUnderwood
      @JacquelineUnderwood 5 років тому

      Allegiance Commitment Via Genu Flexion presidents get four to eight years. Obama was not perfect but he did want gitmo to close and tried to get it closed. Trump doesn’t want it to close. But let’s not just base their scumbagness on only one issue. Obama did his best in the time he had to do good for the American people. Trump literally shits on low and middle class people all the time.