Can You Actually Become More Emotionally Intelligent?
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- Опубліковано 3 лип 2019
- Emotional Intelligence is something that’s talked about more and more in management and professional development courses. It seems like this ability is important - which means that some researchers have tried to see if you can get better at it.
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Sources:
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Who knew talking about kids how to deal with emotions, helped them deal with emotions? Huh wierd
this really should be something taught in all schools for a couple of years it would change the world
You want a study? Make it mandatory in the U.S. and see if it affects the number of mass shootings more than the crap measures that are slowly turning our schools into "safe & secure" gulags.
I was thinking this too.
This should really be something taught in all homes.
Alas, a lot of basic parenting unfortunately gets outsourced to teachers, who are already plenty busy.
_I wish I went to that class that helped teens solve emotional problems_
o0Avalon0o you can now by paying for a counselling and have them teach you
Schools need to focus on these kinds of practical skills, like emotional intelligence, time management, etc.
It will do just as much to make kids' minds healthier and happier as putting more information into their head.
That will require actual effort on their part so school words will never allow it. Plus their budgeting it is determined by things such as I step so they will also get less money since you're not focusing more on cramming more knowledge in you'll forget in a week for the test
Yeah but schools have always been complaining about money issues, as well as the Teachers. Sooner or later, schools around the world will focus on E.I.
Example: Many school education systems in Finland only have four hours of school, frequent and longer breaks, allowed more time to socialise and talk with their friends (the emotional intelligence part) and Teachers are trained everyday for both logic and emotional intelligence. It's the best performing education system in the world, above Asia and America namely.
So schools need to stuff money problems and follow Finland's example.
First, I agree with you. Second, this seems unlikely to happen, because schools are mostly used to train people for future careers, and because you can't really standardise test emotional intelligence. Now, there are a lot of flaws in standardised testing, and it should really be thrown away, but since it is the measure of American schools achievements, is still a very important factor in what schools teach, especially since in America those things can affect who gets government money to fund their schools.
You could make a video about emotional repression, what the consequences are and what to do about it.
Human Person like a Vulcan, those bottled up emotions will explode like an unchecked pressure cooker.
@@cryptosporidium1375 yeah, but do they? that's the question here
Human Person they do... they have ritual in which is an emotional trial by combat.
@@cryptosporidium1375 Study showed that having people release their "bottled up" emotions like anger, out by doing things like punching pillows, screaming, etc. found that the people just became MORE angry in daily life, had their tempers flare up quicker, more often. Makes sense, the brain strengthens circuits (like the "I'm pissed off", "I'm sad" circuits) the more you use them. Restraining your emotions doesn't make them build up to explode suddenly, it makes you calmer overall. The emotions become duller the less you use them, which is good for negative emotions unless you like flying into a rage or crying at the drop of a hat.
@@DrD0000M big disagree. Everyone is different but I know that bottling up my emotions never ever helped me deal with my sadness or anger. Ranting to my close friends though and having a good ol scream cry did. Maybe not for you but for me and others yeah.
I never understood how to show empathy. I felt it, but trying to console someone or even complimenting is like an anxiety causing exam. I just can't process it.
AJ G have you thought you might be a sociopath?
When I feel empathy and want to show it, I usually do one of three things:
- sympathize: if I've been in a similar situation and felt the same kind of emotion, I'll tell them. If not, then I'll tell them that. Example: "Oh damn, I know what you mean, that must get tiring after a while" or "i can't even imagine how hard it is to lose your dad."
- ask relevant questions: If you're interested in their story and want to know more, this should come naturally. If it's not really your thing you can practice by asking When, Where, Who, What, Why or How.
- Imagine what they're thinking/feeling, and ask about that. You should only do this if you have a pretty good idea of how they must be feeling. But it can be a really powerful way to connect. Example: "Damn, your estranged uncle died this week. In situations like that I always feel guilty for not being sad enough. Do you get that?"
@@hanagreg What AJ G described is the exact opposite of sociopathy. A sociopath wouldn't feel the empathy but might still try to emulate it and express it.
AJ G yeah I get that I have autism so sometimes things can get a bit tricky on the social front
@J. van der Linden-- Great insights in your comment! Just one small "quibble-y" correction: Empathy is when you feel badly for someone because you have experienced the same, or a very similar thing. Sympathy is when you feel badly for someone without having experienced a similar event of your own. You can have a deeper understanding, or sympathy, of the event if there is a similar experience of a very close friend or relative (a parent, sibling, long-time best friend or your child) who told you all the details at some point in your past.
Person with high emotional intelligence: I know that person who is frowning isn't upset at me.
Anxiety: *YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?*
I'm a bit suspicious of corporations ballyhooing emotional intelligence. I have a bad feeling that the corporations have mistaken servile submissiveness to long-running and subtle abuse (lower pay, longer hours) as some form of "emotional intelligence".
Yes, I agree completely! When my son was desperate for a job he applied at McDonald's and Taco Bell. Each company gave him a personality test as his first interview. My son had a degree already, but couldn't find work in his field, so... fast food. Anyway, both companies rejected him because every answer on his test wasn't as submissive or as weak-willed as those companies like their employees to be at all times. But getting rejected by the _fast food_ industry was a harsh blow to my son.
WWZenaDo - My area of research focus is on the development of emotional intelligence in the workplace, specifically with leaders. The biggest problems I deal with is two-fold:
(1) corporate proponents who mischaracterize what emotional intelligence actually is, and
(2) the use of poor instruments (self-reported ones in particular) to measure it.
The negative behaviors you identify for example, are actually evidence of poor emotional intelligence! People think that being servile, or soft, or being highly emotional or even highly empathetic are somehow examples of what emotionally intelligent people do, or how they behave, and nothing could be more inaccurate. Workplaces need to avoid relying on their internal HR people for answers to questions they aren’t qualified to address.
A former employer threatened my job and cited "lack of emotional intelligence" as one of the primary reasons. IDK how you can get away with accusing someone with something that is unmeasurable and unfalsifiable.
Yup. Everything that could’ve been good has been hijacked. In every aspect of life. We gotta say it out loud and bring attention to this fact for a turnover.
I´m very glad this is being talked about. As someone living with autism and training her social skills for many years, I have begun to recognise people´s emotions by their faces. Less than 5 years ago I annoyed people to no end, now I can support others emotionally. It takes much practice, but everyone can do it!
@Dream Delirium I don't, exactly. I've never seen the The Neighbourhood and had to look the whole thing up. What is so special about this puppet?
@Dream Delirium I'm sorry, I was referring to autistic tendencies. I had to dig deeper into Wikipedia than I expected to find anything about the character's personality and only went that far it after seeing your last reply.
Was the tiger unusually shy or standard childlike shy?
How?
@@TheLaly37 It comes down to talking a lot and getting experience recognising intonation and body language, as well as trying to understand why something did or did not work. Best is to practice talking with people you will never meet again, like on the bus or in the train. That way you will not have to worry about relationships going sour. Feel free to reply if you don't understand something :)
@Dream Delirium Thank you so much! I've added it to Watch Later :)
Me and my therapist spent years focusing on my emotional intelligence to help my severe depression and BPD... It has helped me so much!
I discovered this myself. I worked as a training specialist and high-level customer service handling top escalations. Those jobs were tough and gaining better EI helped me survive! I moved on job-wise but those skills I learned help me to this day. Best skill I have!
_Lt. Data has left the chat_
very nice upload keep those coming!
Why do we seek?
Is there any reason to seek a better future
if we're fully comfortable and content
with the way our body feels now?
When thoughts slow down,
you may notice that there is discomfort in the body,
which may show up in a myriad of ways:
pain, anxiety, anger, or any other sensation or emotion...
This is part of the reason that we get addicted to thought-
because it’s an immediately available way
to avoid or try to fix
the way our bodies feel.
We won't be able to rest in presence for very long
if we keep ignoring or avoiding discomfort.
Rather, we'll continue to follow thoughts about past and future...
We'll keep trying to escape...
So, how do we bring direct attention to the energies of our body?
The first step is to acknowledge that you are feeling something.
We tend to acknowledge emotions and sensations first through the mind...
We might think, "I’m angry," or "I’m afraid of what might happen,"
or we may simply notice that something is bothering us...
But we can't feel emotions or sensations through thinking.
These thoughts are narratives or labels for how we feel.
They are not the actual energies themselves.
For example, if you have the thought "I have a stomachache,"
that thought is a label for something that is actually happening in your body...
In order to actually feel or experience the stomachache directly,
you would have to bring attention down into the stomach area
and feel it without thoughts on it...
The same is true for all emotions and sensations.
Once you acknowledge that you feel something
or have been triggered/activated by someone or some event,
bring attention very gently to the body
where you feel the actual emotion or sensation...
With your attention there, feel into the sensation or emotion,
and see if you can notice the peripheral space around it at the same time.
Let the emotion or sensation just hang there in that open space,
without trying to change, neutralize, or get rid of it...
It is common to want to change, neutralize, or get rid of bodily energies.
Just notice any tendency to want to do these things.
This is resistance at work,
and trying to stop that resistance from happening
is simply adding more resistance.
Bear in mind that we give power to words, pictures, and bodily energies
by turning awareness away from them.
And we diminish their power by turning toward them
and remaining aware of them until they fade naturally.
That one simple understanding,
if turned into a daily practice,
is highly transformative.
1:35 They could just be good at lying. I've been told that many CEOs are psychopaths.
Interesting video. My E.I. is spotty at best but I try to improve all the time. I just don't like how people use it to manipulate others.
SciShow, teach us more about that topic ^^ it'll be a better world to be in
Can we have a Crash Course on EI and soft skills for the workplace? Much harder to learn than technical parts of a job.
seriously sci shows best speaker!
I'd like to see a video on which self-improvement books/methods are most effective and which are just garbage.
Brilliant!
Can you make a video clarifying the effectiveness and ineffectiveness of psychology as a science? I want to know why many psychological studies are not reproducible and the general air around it of being a pseudoscience.
Please do a video on Adlerian psychology! Alfred Adler's work is so underrated and unknown.
Can u do a video on self esteem and self worth? And why they are important in our life?
I pretty much gave up on understanding the whole "personality"/"emotional" part, since there's never really a point where you feel like your "default" self and we're just so inherently good at adapting to situations that it's almost natural having to go from one context to the next.
The problem is when you have to quickly juggle between contexts, if not outright having to deal 2+ contexts at the same time; that's when stuff breaks down hard and fast.
More like this pls. crash course: emotional intelligence? or have you guys done this already? or is there a series like this already?
Schools have been trying to teach EI for years, you know, through mandatory group projects. They usually result in one person doing all the work and developing a grudge against the stu*id-f**ks that don’t do their share.
Interesting how they never thought of actually TEACHING kids how to deal with emotions and social situations.
That's because 1: most teachers don't know how to teach that, 2: they don't get paid enough to try to learn how to teach it, and 3: there isn't enough time in the school day to teach that without sacrificing time from "more important knowledge".
Not sure if you’ve already done a video on this but a video about Distress Tolerance and how to inc your own tolerance would be interesting
I wish you did some video about coaching and how it relates to actual psychology. It's been a hot topic here in Brazil, with many people even suggesting coaching to be banned entirely from the country.
That bruise looks nasty! Those small ones are usually more painful (deeper?) unlike bigger ones where it's spread over more area :(
Thanks for making my Trekkie heart happy with the references! xD
They should teach this in school since not all kids have parents that will teach them this. It would help society a lot
I like calling it “emotional management” and of course it’s teachable! Controlling your emotions makes life FEEL better! It takes time because we have to UNlearn unhealthy patterns of thinking and behavior society drilled into us, before we can learn the skills we need!
Minor mistake noticed. The Enterprise used at the beginning was not the Enterprise Councillor Troi was on.
Yes. To this. EI is critical, and the science behind this will lead to breakthroughs in understanding consciousness, emergence, and our universe.
Can’t wait for the Picard series
0:30 great another thing working against me in the job hunt.
E.I.?
E.I.??
Oh.
- Dr. MacDonald: Project Head, Agricultural Livestock Cognition Research Team.
Damnit, I was going to make a similar joke. You will pay for your insolence!
see... this was EXACTLY what I was talking about before. . . You.. ARE everywhere(well... almost everywhere I tend to go). and Each time I see You somewhere, am gonna mark the occasion with a reply, listing the current Number of Reply it is that I've spotted You in...
Reply Number 2, Confirmed.
can you please do a video about stupidity? what research is out there about it and what do we know for a fact and what are the misconceptions that we have?
3:41 wow research does a better job than our education system does for students, why I am not supriesd?
As a survivor of extreme childhood anxiety that has grown into an adult with solidified poor brain chemistry / schema / neural pathways, I would have benefited greatly in an educational system that taught this starting in kindergarten & continued through high school. My brain is too fried from my stress response to be able to recover from myriad triggers, no matter how cognizant of them I am. Which is not helpful, considering my legion of other health issues that are triggers in and of themselves. Where were you when I needed you science?😂
2:50 best remark
Please put the title of the article before the link in the citations, it would help a lot!
wrong graphic fam thats the tos Enterprise you wanted the enterprise D from st tng
I am sure I'm not the first. Wrong ship. That was NCC-1701. Deanna was on NCC-1701D. Hey, you do cater to nerds. :P
Man, I'm glad I wasn't the first person to notice. That is one of my triggers.
One thing that makes me nervous on companies focusing on EI more is some people lose it due to life experience. The turn off their emotion due to hardship. I did this after issues in my life. I'm going to consuling for it but until mental illness is taken more serious, I have to pay out of pocket.
There needs tobe more available information about this sort of thing so everybody can have access to it & learn how to better deal with negative emotions.
Anybody else chuckle at the Trekkie reference and then clip art from the wrong tv series? Great way to start.
Could you make a video about emotional numbness? It is not feeling your emotions fully or not feeling them at all.
I think people can sometimes get caught up in all the names: General intelligence, Emotional intelligence, Personality, etc. It's good, and important, to study those things, but it's also good to see things from a simpler perspective too. It's simple: Just like if you spend time exercising your brain, and understanding logical problems from a healthy logical perspective, if you spend time exercising your emotions and understanding emotional problems from a healthy emotional perspective, you will progress and improve in professional and personal life.
I love Brett McKay's view of emotion: "Emotions are themselves neither rational nor irrational, but do play a central part in following the dictates of Reason." (www.artofmanliness.com/articles/men-without-chests/)
Emotions can not be exercised.
What if they purposely put up the wrong enterprise picture in order for us to gauge our E.I. scores by our reaction.
Throw phone across the room = needs improvement
Bitched about it to my cat = moderate score
Laughed it off = emotional Einstein
To boldly go!
Hey Scishow: any idea if the conclusion that anyone can get better at EI with time/training holds up for people with alexithemia?
So basically, pattern recognition on observable behavior, and learning the best way to respond.
I'd like to see a video about the psychology of stuttering.
Sex Ed law, in Argentina, includes this aspects as a part of the contents to work in the classroom, from kindergarden to the end if high school. However, the religious pressure against It's proper implementation is going against kids best interest and emotional development. But even with that issue, it Is possible to include emotional education in schools programs, and that would benefit the whole society in the future.
Wrong Star Ship @ 0:12. In the picture we have kirk's ship but we are talking about Picard's Crew!!
If you could recommend a good EI development (online) course?
Emotional intelligence is also a big topic in psychology, multiple intelligences are sometimes much more relevant in characterising individual-specific behaviours, which is ultimately what we need to be doing psychology for...
Can you do one psychology book recommendation video.
Idk about teaching EI in schools. Too close to home i think. 🤔 teaching parents i think would be more fruitful. Super interesting though! Thanks for sharing!😊
Topic suggestion: a more detailed look into how people who aren't working in the healthcare sector can improve their emotional intelligence :)
NOIIICE.
What if you have Alexithymia, Aphantasia and might be level 1 Autistic. I did a test some time ago and got 4 - self awareness, 4 - self management, 4 - social awareness, 3 - relationship management. I didn't think I could get any better. Do you have any website or app that you would recommend to use get better?
This sounds like the Empathy Hour I read about in - I think it was Danish schools. This is like a weekly class thing for them from the beginning of grade school. We really need this in US schools as a permanent fixture.
Can you do a video on brainspotting?
I paused this video at the beginning. Im absolutely certain. YES
Was never a big fan of Deanna. Her mother, Lwaxana Troi, Daughter of the Fifth House, Holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx, Heir to the Holy Rings of Betazed, seemed like a lot of fun though! lol
Blackboard Monitor and Commander of the City Watch
Mr Homn was a real party animal too!
@@jeffreyschweitzer8289Yeah, he could knock 'em back like water
References TNG, shows the ship from TOS. :P
What's the difference between EI and EQ? I've never heard it called EI before.
Dive within your own mind and find the madness
Strange I would have thought a high emotinality facet from openess to experience and perhaps a low selfconciousness facet from nuoroticism. Would predict emotional intelligence.
Next scishow vedio: what is energy medicine? Does it really work? What's science behind it?
Interesting. I think people should know more about this emotional intelligence. It looks to me as if most people lack empathy.
It not that most people lack empathy, most people justify not caring about empathy, usually in a selfless manner
That's not a Star Trek: TNG ship depicted in the image.
It's from the original series, decades before TNG.
if you want to get good at this read 'the path' by michael puett. its Confucianism translated properly for once. if you dont have the time to read it then just enter 'michael puett' on YT and listen to his talks. its life-changing
Alain de Botton
0:04. WRONG SHIP!
*Takes deep breath*
*Tells self not to nerd-rage*
*Tells self that no one likes a pedant*
Ignores the TOS Enterprise NCC-1701 image used in place of TNG Enterprise NCC-1701 D...
*Still comments about it*
Brit Garner is a dime 👌
How does invest in something long term, like stocks, affect the brain?
Kratom has increased my capacity for empathy.
That empathy has added a depth to my friendships I never thought possible.
Kratom is a lifesaver. I would never have gotten over my addiction without it, plus it's helped tremendously with my depression and anxiety. I'm glad to see someone else who's experienced the benefits :)
What was the curriculum about?
*YOU USED THE WRONG STARSHIP! REEEEEEEEEE!*
I just assumed everyone could read emotions but chose to ignore them, like someone who has asked their partner 1 too many times “what’s wrong?” “NOTHING!” So they quit asking.
Being excessively empathetic can be crippling, and not just in an alien-feels-pain-from-reading-minds kind of way, but in a variety of actual real-world difficulties. Is there a way to be more callous and dead inside? 🤔
The only thing I could say is you have to learn to be apathetic the trick will be switching on and off when you need it
It'd be interesting if psychologists ever got interested in emotional sensibility which would probably be a bit different from emotional intelligence which deals with managing emotions. Probably has little to no commercial use other than for the sake of consciousness and science!
That bruised arm
I'm unreasonably annoyed at the graphic of TOS Enterprise being shown when the reference is TNG. Especially with the correct bridge being shown at the end.
I can't stop watching Star Trek TNG...
Wrong Starship Enterprise!
Grong "best empath" too... that should be Guinan.
"Which one? There were five!"
@Scishow Psych
Why are there betterhelp ads on your videos? Betterhelp isn't really a great place to go for therapy and is honestly kinda scammy.
They don't select the ads.
Mr Spock."I find this video highly illogical." Tuvok."I concur." Data,"Consoler Troi. could you explain this to me?"
EI oh!
ouch that bruise
What you have to be lucky there's someone realizes I mean someone already knew he was in a bad mood for something else
Wow, wrong enterprise graphic at the beginning, but correct bridge background at the end... The editor needs to be reprimanded.
I am really bad at this. I can't read any emotion or Express any.
When you feel mediocre most of the time and with peaks of emotion that get rapidly out of control and paralyzing me.
Yeah! Autism! Yeah ADHD!
Checking out the How To ADHD channel might help you a little with it. I personally (with both ADHD and autism) have unintentionally trained myself to read emotions at what is considered a normal level, thanks to being a voracious reader and observer of acting (which isn't any guarantee for how real people are going to act in such situations, but acting is more or less standardized and a good starting point for reading people - but real people will not conform to acting trends because real people are messy and are far more complex). I don't know if it would help you any but if there are any tv/movie characters you like then trying to perform a scene of theirs might be useful. Start with only one part, e.g. what they do with their hands or mouths or eyes, record yourself privately and see how well that matches, and try to add more and more details until you can do the whole scene decently. This will not be easy, but the more you practice recognizing some collections of movements the bigger the chance your brain might create a kind of recognition for it. If it isn't possible, don't sweat it, just be open about it so people know it's an issue and not intentional behaviour for you. Good luck :/
It's sad how addicted we are to quick fixes. Emotional intelligence is like general intelligence, you know that intelligence we spend 12+ years cultivating in children...and you mean it can't be developed with one 4 hour staff retreat. You dare say!
That ship is not the Enterprise D.
Emotional Intelligence or E.I. looks like the dutch word for egg (ei).