Fun Fact: the old English man who was lecturing Alucard in the beginning of the third episode is Christopher Sabat the ACTUAL voice actor for Funimations' Dragon Ball Z's Vegeta and Piccolo! He became friends with TFS and even took an internet surname to do some off the books voice acting for them... Like All Might in their MHA Abridged first season summary.
I don't know who this "Christopher Sabat" is but this is the internet legend himself, DJ Sexidillionaire. (tfs doesn't openly say who DJS is possibly for weird legal reasons, so we keep it hush hush for those who don't get it)
I like the "we will plan around the plan that they are planing around our plan." After all, thats what they did to beat the british and french at the start of the war.
So... I don't know if you guys understood that line about Alucard sending the Pope death threats through CARRIER PIGEON. You see, carrier pigeons are special as they will always find their way back to their nest. For instance if you knew you needed to travel to Rome to get a message, but lived in Florence, you would take a pigeon from Florence, go to Rome, tie the message to the pigeon and let it go. It would fly back to Florence on instinct, saving you time. With that out of the way, Alucard has been sneaking into the goddamned Vatican, kidnapping carrier pigeons and tying messages to them. The flex is that he has been going in and out of the Vatican, unnoticed, and could assassinate the Pope at any time. That mounting dread is the metaphorical Fear Turkey.
@@CorvusCorone68 the punchline was “they just…fly right into the Vatican”, so the point seems to be about the delivery method. If you were supposed to know how carrier pigeons worked, them flying in to the Vatican would not be a surprise. It undercuts the joke, and their layers are usually meant as an additional joke. It’s fantastic trivia, but it’s not a joke.
Also, to the Catholic church, the Pope is the 'vicar of Christ on Earth'- the one who acts in Jesus' stead because he's not here. Given that, calling him "Chief Replacement" is literally accurate... but WOW is that a way of phrasing it.
The "aristocrats" scene in the beginning is actually a reference to an inside joke in the world of stand-up comics to tell one another. The setup for the joke is always the same: a family goes into a talent agency to show their act, and the punchline is that the act is called "the aristocrats". What the act is depends on which comic is telling the joke. The idea is that each comic tries to come up with the most sick, dark, and twisted things they can imagine for shock value. Very, very, very nsfw dark comedy as a way of showing off. So when Van Hellsing accuses Alucard of all the horrible acts he committed, Alucard replies "the aristocrats". To him, it's just a joke for showing off.
My man. My MAN! I'm usually the one that has to explain the Aristocrats joke. It's so refreshing to see someone else actually get it for once. I damn near pissed myself at that line when I first saw the episode and NOBODY I've watched it with has ever understood it without explanation.
@@nicophantom973 his bafflement at my infodump that episode is the most recognition I think I've ever gotten from a comment, and just from a bit of research i did to build airships in X-plane. although, the single most random bit of information that's stuck in my head also came from that. 1 cubic foot of hydrogen can lift .07 lbs useless in every situation except when you're trying to find how big an airship needs to be to lift it's own weight.
"We shall plan around the plan that they are planning around our plan" Was literally how the allies won D-day in WWII. They dripped a body dressed in a UK marine uniformin the medditeraiean and it landed on the coast of Italy (or south france or something, cant quite remember off the top of my head, but unimportant). The Axis moved troops away from normandy to go reinforce the area where they thought the landings were going to take place, and left the real landing site with only minimal defense
Not only that, but the Allies set up an entire fake launch site, complete with lights and inflatable military equipment so German recon flights would think the landing site would be several dozen miles east of where it actually was.
The "wanna see a dead body" joke is more clever than it seems. Alucard is a vampire, and thus unDEAD. He was asking if they wanted to see *him.* Then there's the airplane scene. Police Girl (Seras Victoria) can't travel over naturally running water, and ocean currents count for that, not to mention the sunlight. Alucard, however, is so powerful he isn't bound by the same rules. His coffin was on the plane, and that was enough to let him sit in the plane's seating area, next to an open window during the day with direct sunlight coming in. Alucard was also genuinely amused by The Dandy Man at first, because he wasn't being serious. Alucard doesn't much care to be serious in a fight (and his powers mean he has only had a handful of fights worth being serious about over the course of his life/unlife). Lastly, Alucard really hates the Catholic Church. Team Four Star has their issues, so Alucard was used to make a few jokes, but the character has a much bigger problem with the church for backstory reasons to be revealed later. So the jokes he makes at Maxwell (purple eyed Italian dude, not Anderson, the Scottish/Irish dude with a love of slaughtering the hell out of, well, whatever is in his sights at the time) are pretty heavy. First was the opening about dick fighting contests with women and having "the world's cruelest handicap" is him saying Maxwell has a small one, which benefits the 9 year old boy chained up in his personal private Vatican jet (pedophile joke), which was paid for by ordinary churchgoers (accusing Maxwell of financial corruption), so he could spread the word of God (accusing Maxwell of being a fake priest only in it for the money), all over his (the 9 year old boy in the jet) back (another accusation). So in two sentences, Alucard burned Maxwell five times. Alucard has a real axe to grind with the Catholic Church (not necessarily the followers, but definitely with the clergy). Oh, and why does he have a beef with the Pope, specifically, one might wonder? He probably thinks the Pope isn't holding the bad priests accountable, and thus he holds the Pope at least indirectly responsible for a number of children being subjected to something absolutely vile.
Also this episode was made and released when Benedict was the Pope. When he stepped down, Alucard's RL Twitter account gloated about it a little. And, to be fair, there's a between-episodes short that reveals that Maxwell actually despises pedophile priests as well.
And considering his own tragic life when his own Father sold him to the Turks back when he was still human. I can’t say, his hatred for the church and pedophiley isn’t miss placed.
"I love her, she's adorable" "You like police girl?" "Yes" "What's her name?" *visible lack of knowledge* Great way to start off the video 🤣🤣🤣 P.S. You'll be reminded of her name in quite a way, Kirby
@@fireball1249 attacking Alucard can be hazerdous to one's health. if they're willing to do so, the only logical assumption is that their health insurance is AMAZING enough to cover it lol
2:38 "The Aristocrats" is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up comedians since the vaudeville era. In other words... He did it as a joke 🤣
@@harrycarson6526 yeah, he talks about it on the Hellsing ultimate commentary I think episode 7 or 8. Like, the real one, not the the abridged, you can find it here on UA-cam last I checked
@@dramspringfeald I heard in the audio commentary they do talk about HSUA alot which I find mind blowning! And I definitely need to check out the official one soon! (both OG and ultimate)
@@harrycarson6526 OG is more Comedy focused a bit closer to Abridged. like OG is a 7, Abridged is an 11. While Ultimate is more "Grimdark" and Serious but with a MUCH!!! higher Budget that also took roughly 1 year per episode to produce do to money reasons. OG and Ultimate are one of Crispin's first solo projects. He's Alucard and a number of other characters in both abridged. Crispin also hosts a LOT of free and paid training and tutorials on how to get into the biz of voice work called Voice Acting Mastery. Check it out if you're interested in that kind of thing.
@@dramspringfeald Woah! that is really fascinating, I'll check that out at some point! I didn't know OG was more comedic than ultimate and yea ultimate can be really dark! and also it took much longer to make each episodes and boy you can tell!
The best part about Alucard using a carrier pigeon to deliver hundreds of death threats to the Pope is the fact that carrier pigeons are very good at finding their “home” (i.e. their coop). This means not only did Alucard train a pigeon to deliver messages, but he also has a coop hidden somewhere within the Vatican and is also recovering them each time! I don’t know if this has been mentioned yet, but a few months after this episode came out, Pope Benedict XVI (the previous Pope) actually resigned, something a Pope had not done for centuries, out of “concern for his health.” It seems Alucard’s threats got to him after all.
This is awesome getting to see her react to this. Also, if you DO manage to get her to agree to watch DBZA, you'll need to preface it by telling her that the first 10 episodes are pretty... rough. XD But assure her that it gets WAY better after that.
"What did you do?" "Alright... But you can't be mad" "*What*, did you do?" "Ok, first. I was minding my own business" "BULLSHIT!" "I was-uh!" This is a quote that will live rent free in my brain forever.
Kirsten, there's something you might like to know. The artist that made the original manga of Hellsing started off by drawing hentai. A lot of this rubs off on "Police Girl". But I do so agree with you, she is really darn cute and pretty and curvy and... quite scary later on. Also, she is NOT a full vampire yet. She has to drink the blood of a willing partner to become a true vampire. Alucard obviously is one already, so he can travel in a more normal fashion. TLDR: Police Girl needs soil with her when travelling over water since she's not a true vampire yet. Also don't worry about her name, she will burn that name vividly in your mind later on.
@@hallofguns8174 look up "the Aristocrats joke". There are many many tellings of it, all of them...well, just look it up. It will give context to the comment.
12:08 The instrumental in the background at this time-stamp is actually Alucard’s theme for the show’s OST. I forget what it’s called, but I’m sure you could find it through a basic search. Love that ragtime feel and how laidback it is~
What makes it even better is that it's from the ORIGINAL Hellsing animated series - NOT Hellsing Ultimate. Personally I feel the soundtrack from that show is MILES better than Hellsing Ultimate. Not that Hellsing Ultimate OST is BAD. Oh no - it's a good soundtrack. But Hellsing 2001 anime is JUST THAT MUCH BETTER.
Seriously underappreciated joke in this episode. "Hey guys, how's your health plan?" *Starts shooting at him in a terrified panic* "APPARENTLY IT'S GREAT!" God I love that line. Great reactions again, guys.
08:14 this scene is basically Alucard flexing. Open water and sunlight are supposedly two massive weaknesses of vampires and he can move around openly in the day while crossing open water. He's also drinking 'the blood of christ'.
The music that plays when TCF starts his walk is from the OG Hellsing anime (the one before Ultimate, the Full Metal Alchemist to Brotherhood) And its soundtrack is a BANGER !!!
Just gotta say, it's fun to see new reactions to Helsing Ultimate Abridged. About Episode 2, Carmen Sandiego is not a porn star. It started as a computer game where you travel the world trying to find and capture a master thief named Carmen Sandiego. It was really meant to teach the player about world geography. Later there was a cartoon "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?". The latest remake is on Netflix simply titled "Carmen".
5:28 love this moment between Alucard and Anderson. two aggressive individuals who wanna kill each other so badly, casually planning to try killing one another again some other time.
Oh amusing irony. The ACTUAL POPE retired, soon after this video was made. Literally one year afterward. No Pope has resigned since 1415. Every time I remember this I start giggling.
3:30 right after I saw this episode, I happened to find myself in a medical classroom with a prosthetic human body for dissection. When I saw a class of middle-schoolers walk by, I knew what I had to do. Traumatizing those children continues to be one of my favorite memories
Ya know what’s kinda troubling. The fact that Alucard asked the officers how their health plan was before shooting them, which in my mind means he probably wouldn’t have killed them if they didn’t fire upon him. Also the Frenchman is so classy while murdering a gaggle of corrupt police officers.
You are correct Dracula was based on Vlad Tepes or Vlad III or Vlad the Impaler. P.S. The difference between a blimp and a zeppelin is the Zeppelin has a ridged frame that usually contains several bags of helium or hydrogen and a blimp is just on big bag with out any frame containing the same. Though most if not any of them contain Hydrogen any more, see the Hindenburg for reasons why.
@@YukoValis Honestly never got to play the original 'Tail Concerto' for PS1(?) but played the everlasting fuck out of the Spin-off 'Solatorobo: Red the Hunter', ever since I've coincidentally stumbled upon it at my local library about a decade ago. Has been one of my all time favorite games PERIOD and I have still not given up on hoping for a sequel to it.
13:43 "Hey! Dandy Dick! You missed! Woowoowoowoowoowoowoo!!!" And that classic foley running sound up the building.... I've laughed at a lot of the rest of the dark and shock humor of this series, but THAT moment - I guess it's just such an incongruous slapstick throwback that it completely works on it's own, unsophisticated level of Looney Tunes madness. I love it and I love that Kirby loves it too. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
the difference between a zeppelin and a blimp is that a zeppelin is a rigid structure, the "balloon" is made from a rigid skeleton filled with airsacks to hold the hydrogen. A blimp simply has a large hydrogen balloon on top. Other than that they are the same.
Planning around the plans they are planning around your plans makes perfect sense. You know what they are now preparing to counter and sonypu can more easily prepare to counter that
Fun fact: the dude who voiced Van Hellsing in the opening scene was none other than Christopher Sabat. He voiced Vegeta in every official Dragonball series.
the Major's plan is as follows. Tell them our plan so they prepare for it. But after telling our plan we change them according to how they reacted to our first plan. as they try to figure out what is next. We will be planing ahead anyways... the reason it could work would be because when you do not know how your enemy will attack you are more vigilante for anything. Knowing what your enemies will do is reassuring and if the info is true then why anticipate anything else so they gave them the knowledge of an attack and watched them Prepare and respond to it while preparing the actual plan shaping it according to where is reinforced and other important factors. A good exemple is telling your friend that you will punch him but, having prepared for the punch, you could land a kick by surprise. And the major would be one step further expecting you to know the kick was comming so he would pull a gun to make sure.
To explain the Aristocrats thing at the beginning…Okay there’s this joke where you come up with the most disgusting thing imaginable and at the end the punch line is “The Aristocrats” that the simplest explanation. It’s basically the world’s oldest dirty joke. There was a whole documentary about it back in 2009 called The Aristocrats, if you’re interested. It’s a lot of fun. It has over 100 stand up comics and comedic actors like Mel Brooks, Gilbert Godfrey, and I think Bob Saget too, all discussing it and telling their own.
The difference between a Blimp and a Zeppelin is the gas used to keep the dirigible up and the construction. A blimp is just a big huge football shaped balloon filled with Helium with a carriage on the underside that has the propeller, cockpit etc... A Zeppelin has an aluminum skeleton and a bunch of sheepgut balloons filled with Hydrogen. Technically, the Hydrogen was used because Helium is a Noble Gas and rare and the supply was limited. You can get hydrogen from water. Now the problem with hydrogen is that it is such a tiny element that it can pass through even metal. So organic material was needed for the balloons and they decided upon using sheep stomachs that were chemically processed with a form of jetfuel. So... When the Hindenburg blew up, it wasn't the Hydrogen, but the flammable balloons that went first, then the Aluminum frame became molten lava because Aluminum acts like Magnesium at high temperatures. The Hydrogen didn't actually play a role in the combustion as Hydrogen has 8 times the escape velocity of air and just flew up into the atmosphere as soon as the balloons burst. All because the crew of the Hindenburg decided to land in a field during an electrical storm and lightning struck through the ground ropes. Fun times.
Cheeky dick waffle continues to be my favorite insult. I STILL use it regularly. Also among my favorite scenes in this abridged was that AWESOME scene of the original Hellsing screaming at Alucard. That voice acting was TOP NOTCH. And you felt every word ooze with some powerful emotions. (I’m an empath and praise the shit out of scenes that REALLY take me in.) Also you missed the Aristocrats joke it seems. I don’t know if you have the context but it used to be a popular joke of saying who does some VILE dark things and just capping off with the Aristocrats. Didn’t really find it too funny, but it’s just a good comeback if you ask me at least. (Not my best explanation, but words are failing me at the moment.)
@@fireball1249 it’s a mixed bag of looking at me and saying wtf, knowing the reference and saying another Alucard line, deciding to use that as a swear from then on, or saying they prefer another REALLY silly swear. Ass-banana, dicky dil, bitcherina, and bastardy are some really good ones I’ve heard.
@@fireball1249 I realize how bad those look without context except ass banana. My boss called me bastardy after I was late for work one day. (Ultimate respect for that man.) Dicky dil was a nickname I temporarily inherited when someone found out I was absolutely disgusted with pickles and that was the best comeback he could come up with to it. XD not a smart guy obviously. And bitcherina was…a fucking weird ass one I heard. He stammered for like 20 seconds and that came out. It was beautiful.
@@Kaempfdog It's cool dude, I think they're pretty humorous and harmless. If you want to use them, go ahead. They give me Lobo's "Bastitch" vibes, and I like it.
Ah good, I solved the riddle of the Giza Pyramid's function but they day's been a bit of a bummer since then... Alucard and homemade Pizza... today just keeps getting better! Oh and if you're wondering about the purpose of the non-burial pyramids thing I made it into a Meme for Discord.
Also, IDK if you can tell, but all of the phone calls between Integra and Alucard from the first two episodes were clips taken from this episode of the actual anime
Oh, she will know her name. Just wait a few more episodes and she won't DARE forget it. Edit: Ah, The Aristocrats. Forgot about that one. Brilliant and obscure enough that many won't get it without help from Google.
You should react to Beastars in 8 Minutes with Kirby, its short... only 8 minutes lol. That's another crazy weird anime I suspect TFS wants to Abridge.
I love tfs content and omg I can't wait for you guys to react to the rest of the series and waiting for the Sao abridged and dbz abridged. They rule omg they are amazing. You make sure she watches both!
@@theduckgoesmoo it means alucard would double in souls if he were to try to kill everyone, plus it's a large country, he would have to travel to many places, so it would take a lot of time for him to actually kill the entire population
hey duck, did you recognize all the TF2 references in this episode? the french mercenaries laughing, death noises in the tent, and when alucard feeds on the dandy man?
Can you and Kirby please react to Overlord, Heaven's Lost Property, and High School DXD? Not abridged I mean. You might really love Heaven's Lost Property,High School DXD,and Is This A Zombie?.
Hey, if you’re ever looking for some new stuff to react too, I have some youtubers in mind. Fawful’s Minion: a very witty countdown artist that also dabbles in reviews and character analysis for villains. Terminal Montage: A lot of his videos are like an abridged series on steroids. But he’s also done a handful of Death Battle like fight videos. Collaborating with another game named Lockstin to figure out who would win Pokémon battle royales (If you decide to check out those fights, I recommend watching the analysis videos Lockstin makes to fully understand everything that happens. And spoiler alert, they take The Pokédex entries LITERALLY. So get ready for crazy shit. Especially with the ghost and psychic types)
9:05 Kirby: "Nah fam, that level of pop-culture ignorance cannot stand. After this, we're going to watch White Chicks, spam-message the director about a sequel, get no response, write fanfiction and spam the director with that, along with our resumes. It'll be great!"
try gfuel its not bad for you. really when u work IT :D it gives energy but not the fat making kind. i legit lost weight and the iced coffee one tastes amazing :)
Fun Fact: the old English man who was lecturing Alucard in the beginning of the third episode is Christopher Sabat the ACTUAL voice actor for Funimations' Dragon Ball Z's Vegeta and Piccolo! He became friends with TFS and even took an internet surname to do some off the books voice acting for them... Like All Might in their MHA Abridged first season summary.
this speech was also work for word from the anime
I don't know who this "Christopher Sabat" is but this is the internet legend himself, DJ Sexidillionaire.
(tfs doesn't openly say who DJS is possibly for weird legal reasons, so we keep it hush hush for those who don't get it)
He's also openly stated that he would have Lani voice Piccolo if he, Chris, couldn't do it anymore. Or something along those lines.
@@keyblademasterclark So Lani is a potential fallback VA for Piccolo?
“Hey kids wanna see a dead body” is to this day one my fav lines I’ve ever heard
mine is "who gives a shit ?!" from the Major, in context its timing is just perfect ;7
It's a famous line from "Stand BY Me"
Same 🤣
I like the "we will plan around the plan that they are planing around our plan." After all, thats what they did to beat the british and french at the start of the war.
"How's your health care plan?" is my favorite "Think before you act" line
So... I don't know if you guys understood that line about Alucard sending the Pope death threats through CARRIER PIGEON. You see, carrier pigeons are special as they will always find their way back to their nest. For instance if you knew you needed to travel to Rome to get a message, but lived in Florence, you would take a pigeon from Florence, go to Rome, tie the message to the pigeon and let it go. It would fly back to Florence on instinct, saving you time.
With that out of the way, Alucard has been sneaking into the goddamned Vatican, kidnapping carrier pigeons and tying messages to them. The flex is that he has been going in and out of the Vatican, unnoticed, and could assassinate the Pope at any time. That mounting dread is the metaphorical Fear Turkey.
I mean, assuming the writers knew that and didn't just think a bird flying them in was funny for a joke
@@Xanderj89 considering all the layers for the other stuff they have in there, i wouldn't put it past them for them to have that knowledge
@@CorvusCorone68 the punchline was “they just…fly right into the Vatican”, so the point seems to be about the delivery method. If you were supposed to know how carrier pigeons worked, them flying in to the Vatican would not be a surprise. It undercuts the joke, and their layers are usually meant as an additional joke. It’s fantastic trivia, but it’s not a joke.
Also, to the Catholic church, the Pope is the 'vicar of Christ on Earth'- the one who acts in Jesus' stead because he's not here.
Given that, calling him "Chief Replacement" is literally accurate... but WOW is that a way of phrasing it.
Well, he can brainwash people so animals wouldn't be that much of a hassle...
The "aristocrats" scene in the beginning is actually a reference to an inside joke in the world of stand-up comics to tell one another. The setup for the joke is always the same: a family goes into a talent agency to show their act, and the punchline is that the act is called "the aristocrats". What the act is depends on which comic is telling the joke. The idea is that each comic tries to come up with the most sick, dark, and twisted things they can imagine for shock value. Very, very, very nsfw dark comedy as a way of showing off. So when Van Hellsing accuses Alucard of all the horrible acts he committed, Alucard replies "the aristocrats". To him, it's just a joke for showing off.
It also sums up one of the biggest changes to Alucard's personality under TFS. I won't spoil that aspect, though, just in case.
My man. My MAN! I'm usually the one that has to explain the Aristocrats joke. It's so refreshing to see someone else actually get it for once. I damn near pissed myself at that line when I first saw the episode and NOBODY I've watched it with has ever understood it without explanation.
Single most underappreciated joke in the series.
Today I learned! Cool to know, thank you
I never understood that joke AT ALL in any context it's used. Thank you.
17:11 "It's a zeppelin, not a blimp, there's a difference." You're right, Zeppelins have a rigid frame, and a blimp does not.
That and a zeppelin is basically a flying tank version of a blimp so...
@@nicophantom973 his bafflement at my infodump that episode is the most recognition I think I've ever gotten from a comment, and just from a bit of research i did to build airships in X-plane.
although, the single most random bit of information that's stuck in my head also came from that.
1 cubic foot of hydrogen can lift .07 lbs
useless in every situation except when you're trying to find how big an airship needs to be to lift it's own weight.
I knew it!
@@nicophantom973 Not really, it's literally just the German name for it. The frame is the only real difference.
@@maeschder then it needs a new name....what's "flying tank" translate into German
"We shall plan around the plan that they are planning around our plan" Was literally how the allies won D-day in WWII. They dripped a body dressed in a UK marine uniformin the medditeraiean and it landed on the coast of Italy (or south france or something, cant quite remember off the top of my head, but unimportant). The Axis moved troops away from normandy to go reinforce the area where they thought the landings were going to take place, and left the real landing site with only minimal defense
Not only that, but the Allies set up an entire fake launch site, complete with lights and inflatable military equipment so German recon flights would think the landing site would be several dozen miles east of where it actually was.
Kirby: “You haven’t seen White Chicks?”
Okay now take that feeling... and imagine it with normal food and amazing shows/movies.
Honestly! XD
I think you mean anything
@@theduckgoesmoo No, you were a happier man before Freddy Got Fingered.
You're missing out on a lot, but sometimes ignorance really is bliss.
The "wanna see a dead body" joke is more clever than it seems. Alucard is a vampire, and thus unDEAD. He was asking if they wanted to see *him.*
Then there's the airplane scene. Police Girl (Seras Victoria) can't travel over naturally running water, and ocean currents count for that, not to mention the sunlight. Alucard, however, is so powerful he isn't bound by the same rules. His coffin was on the plane, and that was enough to let him sit in the plane's seating area, next to an open window during the day with direct sunlight coming in.
Alucard was also genuinely amused by The Dandy Man at first, because he wasn't being serious. Alucard doesn't much care to be serious in a fight (and his powers mean he has only had a handful of fights worth being serious about over the course of his life/unlife).
Lastly, Alucard really hates the Catholic Church. Team Four Star has their issues, so Alucard was used to make a few jokes, but the character has a much bigger problem with the church for backstory reasons to be revealed later. So the jokes he makes at Maxwell (purple eyed Italian dude, not Anderson, the Scottish/Irish dude with a love of slaughtering the hell out of, well, whatever is in his sights at the time) are pretty heavy. First was the opening about dick fighting contests with women and having "the world's cruelest handicap" is him saying Maxwell has a small one, which benefits the 9 year old boy chained up in his personal private Vatican jet (pedophile joke), which was paid for by ordinary churchgoers (accusing Maxwell of financial corruption), so he could spread the word of God (accusing Maxwell of being a fake priest only in it for the money), all over his (the 9 year old boy in the jet) back (another accusation). So in two sentences, Alucard burned Maxwell five times. Alucard has a real axe to grind with the Catholic Church (not necessarily the followers, but definitely with the clergy).
Oh, and why does he have a beef with the Pope, specifically, one might wonder? He probably thinks the Pope isn't holding the bad priests accountable, and thus he holds the Pope at least indirectly responsible for a number of children being subjected to something absolutely vile.
Imagine being so powerful the laws of nature give you a pass
considering the real life church it's justified.
Also this episode was made and released when Benedict was the Pope. When he stepped down, Alucard's RL Twitter account gloated about it a little.
And, to be fair, there's a between-episodes short that reveals that Maxwell actually despises pedophile priests as well.
And considering his own tragic life when his own Father sold him to the Turks back when he was still human. I can’t say, his hatred for the church and pedophiley isn’t miss placed.
"I love her, she's adorable"
"You like police girl?"
"Yes"
"What's her name?"
*visible lack of knowledge*
Great way to start off the video 🤣🤣🤣
P.S. You'll be reminded of her name in quite a way, Kirby
I wasn’t picking on her I was showing how the abridged refuses to call her anything other than police girl
@@theduckgoesmoo I know, I just love the preview scenes you put in your videos, I love comedy bits like that
@Existential Crisis Core on Infinite Earths And don't you forget it.
@@deckroflegend1303 have you watched our blooper video from a couple weeks ago? It’s literally 6 minutes of nothing but funny clips like that
@@theduckgoesmoo Yes, I have, I loved that video, funny thing is I think that video is made me decide to become a patron as well 😅😅😅
"Hey guys, how's your health plan?"
*opens fire*
"Apparently, it's GREAT!"
is my second favorite line in the series. behind the flatscreen tv bit.
I don't get it.
@@fireball1249 basically saying their health plan is good by attacking him cause they’re going to test it
@@fireball1249 attacking Alucard can be hazerdous to one's health. if they're willing to do so, the only logical assumption is that their health insurance is AMAZING enough to cover it lol
@@spacezombie13 What's Health Insurance though?
Oh same 🤣
2:38 "The Aristocrats" is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up comedians since the vaudeville era.
In other words... He did it as a joke 🤣
to be fair, it also makes alot of sense if youre taking the time period hes from into consideration...
I broke when she said she danced to that song. I love how expressive her face is, it makes for great reactions.
I’m editing I actually had to go and increase the volume significantly so you could hear it I’m glad you liked that moment!
It gets better when you realize Van Helsing in the beginning is Alucards official Voice Actor.
Wait...SABAT VOICED ALUCARD!? AND IN A WAY ALUCARD IS KILLING ALUCARD!
@@harrycarson6526 yeah, he talks about it on the Hellsing ultimate commentary I think episode 7 or 8.
Like, the real one, not the the abridged, you can find it here on UA-cam last I checked
@@dramspringfeald I heard in the audio commentary they do talk about HSUA alot which I find mind blowning!
And I definitely need to check out the official one soon! (both OG and ultimate)
@@harrycarson6526 OG is more Comedy focused a bit closer to Abridged. like OG is a 7, Abridged is an 11. While Ultimate is more "Grimdark" and Serious but with a MUCH!!! higher Budget that also took roughly 1 year per episode to produce do to money reasons.
OG and Ultimate are one of Crispin's first solo projects. He's Alucard and a number of other characters in both abridged. Crispin also hosts a LOT of free and paid training and tutorials on how to get into the biz of voice work called Voice Acting Mastery. Check it out if you're interested in that kind of thing.
@@dramspringfeald Woah! that is really fascinating, I'll check that out at some point! I didn't know OG was more comedic than ultimate and yea ultimate can be really dark! and also it took much longer to make each episodes and boy you can tell!
The best part about Alucard using a carrier pigeon to deliver hundreds of death threats to the Pope is the fact that carrier pigeons are very good at finding their “home” (i.e. their coop). This means not only did Alucard train a pigeon to deliver messages, but he also has a coop hidden somewhere within the Vatican and is also recovering them each time!
I don’t know if this has been mentioned yet, but a few months after this episode came out, Pope Benedict XVI (the previous Pope) actually resigned, something a Pope had not done for centuries, out of “concern for his health.” It seems Alucard’s threats got to him after all.
I like to think he captured the local pigeons inside the Vatican and made them deliver them
Nah, the real best part is, aren't carrier pigeons believed to be extinct?
@@42ndguardian no? There's a whole championship for them and all that. And it's still a pretty popular hobby to have over here in Germany XD
This is awesome getting to see her react to this. Also, if you DO manage to get her to agree to watch DBZA, you'll need to preface it by telling her that the first 10 episodes are pretty... rough. XD But assure her that it gets WAY better after that.
Well she’ll see what they’re capable of with hellsing and trust that dbza will be on par
"What did you do?"
"Alright... But you can't be mad"
"*What*, did you do?"
"Ok, first. I was minding my own business"
"BULLSHIT!"
"I was-uh!"
This is a quote that will live rent free in my brain forever.
Wait, I forgot this was the Fear Turkey Episode
HOW DID I FORGET THIS WAS THE FEAR TURKEY EPISODE?
I absolutely love that scene 😂
Kirsten, there's something you might like to know. The artist that made the original manga of Hellsing started off by drawing hentai. A lot of this rubs off on "Police Girl".
But I do so agree with you, she is really darn cute and pretty and curvy and... quite scary later on.
Also, she is NOT a full vampire yet. She has to drink the blood of a willing partner to become a true vampire. Alucard obviously is one already, so he can travel in a more normal fashion.
TLDR: Police Girl needs soil with her when travelling over water since she's not a true vampire yet.
Also don't worry about her name, she will burn that name vividly in your mind later on.
It doesn’t *have* to be a willing partner.
@@greenrevolver30 Hm, then I misremembered that part.
@@Caldera01 there is something about a willing partner. Just not for her to go full camp. But I don’t want to give spoilers.
@@greenrevolver30 Ohhh, right, now I remember.
That "The aristocrats" joke is much funnier than most would think.
What is it? I never got that one.
@@hallofguns8174 look up "the Aristocrats joke". There are many many tellings of it, all of them...well, just look it up. It will give context to the comment.
@@Ghostrebel017 Now I kinda get it.
P.S. that was horrible.
@@hallofguns8174 Indeed. But it does make the in-show joke quite hilarious.
@@Ghostrebel017 It does, though I'm not sure it was worth it. I will never be able to unhear that.
12:08 The instrumental in the background at this time-stamp is actually Alucard’s theme for the show’s OST. I forget what it’s called, but I’m sure you could find it through a basic search. Love that ragtime feel and how laidback it is~
Left Foot Trapped In Sensual Seduction is the name of the track.
@@Admiral_Golbez oo🧐
The Hellsing ost is so good! It's one of the best things about the original series.
What makes it even better is that it's from the ORIGINAL Hellsing animated series - NOT Hellsing Ultimate. Personally I feel the soundtrack from that show is MILES better than Hellsing Ultimate. Not that Hellsing Ultimate OST is BAD. Oh no - it's a good soundtrack. But Hellsing 2001 anime is JUST THAT MUCH BETTER.
Seriously underappreciated joke in this episode.
"Hey guys, how's your health plan?"
*Starts shooting at him in a terrified panic*
"APPARENTLY IT'S GREAT!"
God I love that line. Great reactions again, guys.
Kirby's reaction to you never seeing White Chicks mirrors most of us when you say you have never seen something.
"Hey guys how's your health plan? APPARENTLY IT'S GREAT!" Is still my favorite line from the abridged
I loved this series and the best thing about it is that Hellsing Ultimate Abridged feels like watching the original just with more comedy! XD
That’s really true actually
Van Hellsing who was monologuing at the beginning was voiced by Chris Sabat who also voices All Might in My Hero Academia.
And other things
I love the "OH BOY" after Activating the Trap Card
"You activated my Alucard" is way funnier than it should be.
08:14 this scene is basically Alucard flexing. Open water and sunlight are supposedly two massive weaknesses of vampires and he can move around openly in the day while crossing open water. He's also drinking 'the blood of christ'.
No he's got his coffin with his soil.
The music that plays when TCF starts his walk is from the OG Hellsing anime (the one before Ultimate, the Full Metal Alchemist to Brotherhood)
And its soundtrack is a BANGER !!!
Just gotta say, it's fun to see new reactions to Helsing Ultimate Abridged.
About Episode 2, Carmen Sandiego is not a porn star. It started as a computer game where you travel the world trying to find and capture a master thief named Carmen Sandiego. It was really meant to teach the player about world geography. Later there was a cartoon "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?". The latest remake is on Netflix simply titled "Carmen".
5:28 love this moment between Alucard and Anderson. two aggressive individuals who wanna kill each other so badly, casually planning to try killing one another again some other time.
Oh amusing irony.
The ACTUAL POPE retired, soon after this video was made. Literally one year afterward. No Pope has resigned since 1415. Every time I remember this I start giggling.
3:30 right after I saw this episode, I happened to find myself in a medical classroom with a prosthetic human body for dissection. When I saw a class of middle-schoolers walk by, I knew what I had to do. Traumatizing those children continues to be one of my favorite memories
I love that manic giggle after Walter tells Integra about the tilted paintings. xD
Alucard is a menace and I LOVE him
Ya know what’s kinda troubling. The fact that Alucard asked the officers how their health plan was before shooting them, which in my mind means he probably wouldn’t have killed them if they didn’t fire upon him. Also the Frenchman is so classy while murdering a gaggle of corrupt police officers.
I don't get the "Health Plan" joke.
@@fireball1249 He was wondering if they had a good enough medical to account for certain death.
The "Police Girl" thing is intentional. She's even listed as police girl in the credits of the abridged until episode 7
You are correct Dracula was based on Vlad Tepes or Vlad III or Vlad the Impaler.
P.S. The difference between a blimp and a zeppelin is the Zeppelin has a ridged frame that usually contains several bags of helium or hydrogen and a blimp is just on big bag with out any frame containing the same. Though most if not any of them contain Hydrogen any more, see the Hindenburg for reasons why.
It is funny because in the show Sir Integra ordered him to Brazil, and approved of the killing he was doing.
Is that a 'Waffles' Profile picture, I see there?
@@carebloodlaevathein6732 yep yep. Waffle Ryebread. Good eye.
@@YukoValis Honestly never got to play the original 'Tail Concerto' for PS1(?) but played the everlasting fuck out of the Spin-off 'Solatorobo: Red the Hunter', ever since I've coincidentally stumbled upon it at my local library about a decade ago. Has been one of my all time favorite games PERIOD and I have still not given up on hoping for a sequel to it.
Blimps are essentially large balloons, Zeppelins are quite heavier, often larger with an internal metal frame that blimps lack.
13:43 "Hey! Dandy Dick! You missed! Woowoowoowoowoowoowoo!!!" And that classic foley running sound up the building.... I've laughed at a lot of the rest of the dark and shock humor of this series, but THAT moment - I guess it's just such an incongruous slapstick throwback that it completely works on it's own, unsophisticated level of Looney Tunes madness. I love it and I love that Kirby loves it too. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Fun fact about Dracula, the myth isn't as awful as the actual person Vlad the Impaler was.
the difference between a zeppelin and a blimp is that a zeppelin is a rigid structure, the "balloon" is made from a rigid skeleton filled with airsacks to hold the hydrogen. A blimp simply has a large hydrogen balloon on top. Other than that they are the same.
Honestly I'm happy to hear he's been spared the pain of watching White Chicks
Planning around the plans they are planning around your plans makes perfect sense.
You know what they are now preparing to counter and sonypu can more easily prepare to counter that
"The Aristocrats." That shit kills me every time.
Fun fact: the dude who voiced Van Hellsing in the opening scene was none other than Christopher Sabat. He voiced Vegeta in every official Dragonball series.
I did that once.... Came through a wall? You 2 are absolutely adorable
the Major's plan is as follows. Tell them our plan so they prepare for it. But after telling our plan we change them according to how they reacted to our first plan. as they try to figure out what is next. We will be planing ahead anyways... the reason it could work would be because when you do not know how your enemy will attack you are more vigilante for anything. Knowing what your enemies will do is reassuring and if the info is true then why anticipate anything else so they gave them the knowledge of an attack and watched them Prepare and respond to it while preparing the actual plan shaping it according to where is reinforced and other important factors. A good exemple is telling your friend that you will punch him but, having prepared for the punch, you could land a kick by surprise. And the major would be one step further expecting you to know the kick was comming so he would pull a gun to make sure.
Now I can't get the image of Casual Sexy Alucard swirling a wine glass while watching exotic dancers to that song outta my head. XD
😂😂😂
To explain the Aristocrats thing at the beginning…Okay there’s this joke where you come up with the most disgusting thing imaginable and at the end the punch line is “The Aristocrats” that the simplest explanation. It’s basically the world’s oldest dirty joke. There was a whole documentary about it back in 2009 called The Aristocrats, if you’re interested. It’s a lot of fun. It has over 100 stand up comics and comedic actors like Mel Brooks, Gilbert Godfrey, and I think Bob Saget too, all discussing it and telling their own.
I seriously can't wait to see your guys' reaction to episode 8. It's probably the best one in the series. Especially around the 3 min mark XD
The difference between a Blimp and a Zeppelin is the gas used to keep the dirigible up and the construction. A blimp is just a big huge football shaped balloon filled with Helium with a carriage on the underside that has the propeller, cockpit etc... A Zeppelin has an aluminum skeleton and a bunch of sheepgut balloons filled with Hydrogen. Technically, the Hydrogen was used because Helium is a Noble Gas and rare and the supply was limited. You can get hydrogen from water. Now the problem with hydrogen is that it is such a tiny element that it can pass through even metal. So organic material was needed for the balloons and they decided upon using sheep stomachs that were chemically processed with a form of jetfuel. So... When the Hindenburg blew up, it wasn't the Hydrogen, but the flammable balloons that went first, then the Aluminum frame became molten lava because Aluminum acts like Magnesium at high temperatures. The Hydrogen didn't actually play a role in the combustion as Hydrogen has 8 times the escape velocity of air and just flew up into the atmosphere as soon as the balloons burst. All because the crew of the Hindenburg decided to land in a field during an electrical storm and lightning struck through the ground ropes. Fun times.
Cheeky dick waffle continues to be my favorite insult. I STILL use it regularly.
Also among my favorite scenes in this abridged was that AWESOME scene of the original Hellsing screaming at Alucard. That voice acting was TOP NOTCH. And you felt every word ooze with some powerful emotions. (I’m an empath and praise the shit out of scenes that REALLY take me in.)
Also you missed the Aristocrats joke it seems. I don’t know if you have the context but it used to be a popular joke of saying who does some VILE dark things and just capping off with the Aristocrats. Didn’t really find it too funny, but it’s just a good comeback if you ask me at least. (Not my best explanation, but words are failing me at the moment.)
How do people react when you say it?
@@fireball1249 it’s a mixed bag of looking at me and saying wtf, knowing the reference and saying another Alucard line, deciding to use that as a swear from then on, or saying they prefer another REALLY silly swear. Ass-banana, dicky dil, bitcherina, and bastardy are some really good ones I’ve heard.
@@fireball1249 I realize how bad those look without context except ass banana. My boss called me bastardy after I was late for work one day. (Ultimate respect for that man.) Dicky dil was a nickname I temporarily inherited when someone found out I was absolutely disgusted with pickles and that was the best comeback he could come up with to it. XD not a smart guy obviously.
And bitcherina was…a fucking weird ass one I heard. He stammered for like 20 seconds and that came out. It was beautiful.
@@Kaempfdog It's cool dude, I think they're pretty humorous and harmless. If you want to use them, go ahead. They give me Lobo's "Bastitch" vibes, and I like it.
Ah good, I solved the riddle of the Giza Pyramid's function but they day's been a bit of a bummer since then... Alucard and homemade Pizza... today just keeps getting better!
Oh and if you're wondering about the purpose of the non-burial pyramids thing I made it into a Meme for Discord.
Can't wait to see the rest, this whole series and the original is so amazing!
Also, IDK if you can tell, but all of the phone calls between Integra and Alucard from the first two episodes were clips taken from this episode of the actual anime
Oh, she will know her name. Just wait a few more episodes and she won't DARE forget it.
Edit: Ah, The Aristocrats. Forgot about that one. Brilliant and obscure enough that many won't get it without help from Google.
HER NAME IS SERAS VICTORIA THE DRACULINA
You should react to Beastars in 8 Minutes with Kirby, its short... only 8 minutes lol.
That's another crazy weird anime I suspect TFS wants to Abridge.
I love tfs content and omg I can't wait for you guys to react to the rest of the series and waiting for the Sao abridged and dbz abridged. They rule omg they are amazing. You make sure she watches both!
They’re going to be coming out for a while!
Damn, when she said "Monster" I wasn't looking and hoped she was talking about the anime, Naoki Urasawa's Monster from 2004.
It's always an Alucard amount when it comes to collateral
Oh you like Police Girl? What's her name?
It's like the opposite of the "Oh you like frogs? name every species." memes.
Blimps are filled with hot air while zeppelins were filled with hydrogen. The more you know 🌈
I'm guessing that zeppelin is gonna crash like the Hindenburg.
The Crimson Chin was voiced by Jay Leno.
I can't wait to see what she thinks of the rest. Especially the final 3.
What a beautiful Chocolate Man... HaHa HaHa
Kirby knows all of the Crimson Chin, the 1980 that canceled including the Nega Chin
You guys got to do the rest of them
Oh we will
Police girl is my favorite too she goes by 3 names Ceris Victoria, Draculina and police girl
12:23 oh please, brazil's population might actually out number the amount of souls alucard has absorbed over 200 million
Doesn’t mean they can kill them faster
@@theduckgoesmoo it means alucard would double in souls if he were to try to kill everyone, plus it's a large country, he would have to travel to many places, so it would take a lot of time for him to actually kill the entire population
man this show is so good
kirby should play a drinking game with how many times the duck says he's never seen or tried something XD
Kirby isn’t 21 yet
@@theduckgoesmoo *surprised pikachu face*
The difference between a zeppelin and a blimp is that a zeppelin has a rigid frame.
Did you know that Vlad the impaler's real name was Dracul-a son of Dracul
hey duck, did you recognize all the TF2 references in this episode? the french mercenaries laughing, death noises in the tent, and when alucard feeds on the dandy man?
I believe zepplins are mechanical blimps while blimps are just...blimps
Can you and Kirby please react to Overlord, Heaven's Lost Property, and High School DXD? Not abridged I mean.
You might really love Heaven's Lost Property,High School DXD,and Is This A Zombie?.
Kyle at 0:41 " i was a teenager at one point"
Press x to doubt
X
9:09 same Kirby, same
This is not a big lost.
8:29 JESUS WANTS A HUG!
Fun fact the FIRST THING Police Girl says in this series is
"My NAME is Seras"
She’s police girl
Now I wanna see you guys do buzzed reactions just because you mentioned tequila xD
You see the problem with that is Kirby isn’t 21
@@theduckgoesmoo yeah that'll do it 😅
@@theduckgoesmoo Ssshhhhh… nobody has to know
This where helluva boss was born from
Have been waiting for this!!!
Hey, if you’re ever looking for some new stuff to react too, I have some youtubers in mind.
Fawful’s Minion: a very witty countdown artist that also dabbles in reviews and character analysis for villains.
Terminal Montage: A lot of his videos are like an abridged series on steroids. But he’s also done a handful of Death Battle like fight videos. Collaborating with another game named Lockstin to figure out who would win Pokémon battle royales (If you decide to check out those fights, I recommend watching the analysis videos Lockstin makes to fully understand everything that happens. And spoiler alert, they take The Pokédex entries LITERALLY. So get ready for crazy shit. Especially with the ghost and psychic types)
9:05
Kirby: "Nah fam, that level of pop-culture ignorance cannot stand. After this, we're going to watch White Chicks, spam-message the director about a sequel, get no response, write fanfiction and spam the director with that, along with our resumes. It'll be great!"
😂😂😂
Since Alucard is in Brazil in this episode, PLEASE COME TO BRAZIL DUCK
Ahhhh I’ve never had a passport
Not sure if you're aware duck, but have another listen to the screams at 13:56. You might find them a bit familiar
any word when this will continue?
Don’t know if any of y’all noticed but at 14:00 you can hear TF2 death noises
13:33 Kādokurōn-jutsu
"Bitch i eat people" ....the anime. lmao
9:05 She feels our pain
14:05 Prove it, speak French
No
Not sure if anyone else mentioned this yet, but Alucard's Twitter account is a real account.
Hey guys 👋. Appreciate the reactions keep 'em coming. Can't wait for the DBZA reactions.
These episodes can't come out fast enough
What is Alucard's ring tone?
try gfuel its not bad for you. really when u work IT :D it gives energy but not the fat making kind.
i legit lost weight and the iced coffee one tastes amazing :)