How Couples Can Create Mystery, Distance, and Intimacy Under Lockdown - Esther Perel

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  • Опубліковано 6 кві 2020
  • This is a clip from the first of my four part workshop on how to navigate the new normal during coronavirus from a relational perspective entitled "Love, Loss, Loneliness, and a Pinch of Humor Under Lockdown."
    To watch the full workshop, visit: • How to adjust to your ...
    For more from this workshop series by Esther Perel, visit estherperel.com/lockdown.

КОМЕНТАРІ • 34

  • @marcusstone6273
    @marcusstone6273 4 роки тому +23

    Hey Esther this is wonderful advice, I saw on reddit that there was a guy who roleplayed with his wife this: that his wife was a maid and she wanted to save her grandpa from CoronaVirus, and that husband was scientist who had vaccine for her grandma, and that she was willing to do anything to get that vaccine LOL... so I agree imagination is not LIMITED at all! have a happy quarantine!

    • @knightlifeuk
      @knightlifeuk 9 місяців тому

      The grandma and vaccine parts would have dried everything up in seconds in my house. Each to their own 😂

  • @musicforyourmindable
    @musicforyourmindable 3 роки тому +1

    Esther, words cannot describe the amount of gratitude I feel for your existence. Thank you 😊

  • @LalitaBanana
    @LalitaBanana 4 роки тому +20

    I love this woman so much

  • @danieldames6415
    @danieldames6415 4 роки тому +6

    Hello Esther, my partner and I live in a small town in rural South Africa. Our "lock down" period has just been extended to five weeks from an initial three weeks, two of which we have already completed. We have consciously decided to grow our relationship during this time and it is a wonderful experience for both of us...our playful interaction and the games we physically play (we were running around throwing a ball at each other in the street yesterday evening - loads of fun and laughter) are, surprisingly, the highlight of our first two weeks in quarantine.

    • @MissEiks
      @MissEiks 4 роки тому

      Daniel Dames build a fort it’s so much fun!

  • @TheCuteRibbon1
    @TheCuteRibbon1 4 роки тому +16

    Me and my partner are going through a lot of self-discovery currently, each on their own, despite living together. We regularly make agreements to leave one another alone for several days, thus spending time apart. For us it works wonders! Just an idea😊

  • @DILAN1986BEAUTY
    @DILAN1986BEAUTY 4 роки тому +2

    Love youuuu.....happy to hear you..

  • @lanehalberg645
    @lanehalberg645 4 роки тому +3

    Happy anniversary ♥️ you are an absolute pioneer

  • @gcdub3585
    @gcdub3585 4 роки тому +1

    Excellent advice as always, thank you and happy anniversary

  • @stilljenny2308
    @stilljenny2308 4 роки тому +11

    My partner lives in Canada so we’re long distance. On Friday we’re going to a zoom party for a date night. We’re getting dressed up and having drinks together 🥰

    • @MissEiks
      @MissEiks 4 роки тому +1

      j anderson I’m in Canada too and I missed the party!?!?

  • @mariacolaco6218
    @mariacolaco6218 4 роки тому +2

    Happy Anniversary may you Be blessed with many more !

  • @curbsideseat9794
    @curbsideseat9794 3 роки тому +1

    HOW SWEET WAS THAT! Date night for your anniversary. Love the (covid) creativity in your marriage.

  • @wanjiruchelagat6565
    @wanjiruchelagat6565 4 роки тому +6

    Happy anniversary Esther and the hubby!!

  • @gr8hndz4u
    @gr8hndz4u 4 роки тому +6

    Happy Anniversary ! & Many,Many more....

    • @brandynpetty6734
      @brandynpetty6734 3 роки тому

      Wake up with a cute face and beautiful smile, dear. The day awaits your specialty. Go on and explore the day! Good morning, damsel.

    • @brandynpetty6734
      @brandynpetty6734 3 роки тому

      Good morning dear,how was your rest, hope you had a wonderful night .go and explore your day

  • @geertkoops1
    @geertkoops1 4 роки тому +2

    Woooooooow,
    Great job you did by making this video.
    I presume it’s maybe difficult to have it subtitled in Spanish but it would be off enormous help for a 24 % of world population
    Thanks on forehand
    Geert

    • @otaskrebche
      @otaskrebche Рік тому

      Go to the video settings and you can get auto-translate, after activating CC (Subtitles)

  • @Angell_Lee
    @Angell_Lee Рік тому

    Thank you Esther, ps: you're so pretty! xo

  • @issetflores6643
    @issetflores6643 4 роки тому +2

    👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • @anaceciliahannickel5814
    @anaceciliahannickel5814 4 роки тому +7

    How do I get him to leave me alone... 🤔 lol happy anniversary! Love your advice

  • @RadoslavTsvetkof
    @RadoslavTsvetkof 3 роки тому

    It could work with imaginative partner. It's the dynamic between the two that brings the magic. One needs a (role)playful partner. But that is not always the case. Some ppl don't like it. For sure one could dig and find the reason for their reluctance and change it, but only if they wish. And it take time and motivation. Imaginative play works best only together.
    The second objection/consideration is that with the years passing the own imaginative worlds get well known and somewhat boring.
    With time every relation seems to need a catalist from outside. (Object, event, experience, person)

    • @RadoslavTsvetkof
      @RadoslavTsvetkof 3 роки тому

      I would add additional advise. If it doesn't work try abstention. Just abstain. After 2 days hunger even an old bread loaf tastes heavenly 🤣

  • @zlaticakaluzna8617
    @zlaticakaluzna8617 4 роки тому +1

    Hello Esther, how can I restore my partner interest by this playing for that we will go on a date if he thinks that we know each other well so we don't it. I sai to his that we can play that we don't know each other, to find new interesting things about the other, but he said that we know each other and he can not play it. What to do then?

  • @WickedKingLycoan
    @WickedKingLycoan 4 роки тому

    My relationship has suffered no end during all of this. What is your advice with a household full of 7 to 9 people (all of various ages) under one roof during this and while keeping/maintaining the spark of your relationship?

    • @grover786
      @grover786 3 роки тому

      You have to separate that life from your sensual life. Whether are kids or extended family. Have the time with them, but then find time alone in a room and pretend and use your imagination was her suggestion. Go out for a walk (safely) go to your garden. Unblock your creativity to get a period of time to yourselves

    • @WickedKingLycoan
      @WickedKingLycoan 3 роки тому

      Daps: Thank You. I’ve felt at times that I’m running ‘Boy’s Town’, and expect the ghost of Mickey Rooney to show up on my doorstep with his hobo stick to complete the picture. It’s been damned difficult, all of us stacked up like chord-wood. It has taken me a lot of time to realize, measure and make sure that my Wife gets what she needs from me, (unfortunately, Love play takes a back seat with so many of our kids, biological and adopted, have run and rampant over the household) while still respecting and giving allowance to our need for alone time and self-space. The weights on the scales can only be measured day to day, and never run on general terms or set schedules. If I’m lucky, than, like an experienced bartender, can concoct the perfect mix of solitude and togetherness. She’s My One, and I don’t want to be without Her.

  • @valerie4912
    @valerie4912 4 роки тому +4

    I want someone who will role play with me and write me love letters 🙊

  • @eriksyring
    @eriksyring 3 роки тому

    Much more effective to invite a third.

    • @Yrie27
      @Yrie27 3 роки тому

      Seems like a bad call in the middle of a pandemic