I'm Starting Over at Age 40
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- Опубліковано 8 лют 2025
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I've had to start over so many times in my life, but I never expected I'd be starting over at 40 years old. Life is changing, and so is this channel - here is why we are doing a "life reset" and what the future holds for our minimalist family. I can't wait to share all of our life updates with you going forward. :)
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ABOUT A TO ZEN LIFE
Along my journey to let go of 30 years of clutter, I accidentally became a minimalist and it was life-changing.
Before, I was an emotional hoarder with nothing but the clutter from lost loved ones - and $25,000 of debt - to my name. Now I have a beautiful home in Europe, a happy family, live debt-free, and - best of all - wake up to a life that I’m EXCITED to live every day.
My mission is to help you conquer your clutter and simplify YOUR way to a happier and better life. HERE'S OUR STORY: atozenlife.com...
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Dear Miss, I haven't watched the video yet but I know how it feels. It feels like a huge, overwhelming challenge, to reinvent and turn your life around when you're over 40.
But, it possible because others in their 70s - 90s, have done the same.
The best advice? Just do it. Don't wait. Don't over think. Do it. And then, like a surfer surfing a wave for the first time SURF the momentum. And ENJOY the adventure.
Peace and love,
David
I remember when my kids were young and we were living paycheck to paycheck. My husband said he was going to get a second job so that we could try and save money to buy a house. I told him, “no, I rather our kids have time with you while they’re young than have a house.” Best decision. Life’s too short. 😊
Its’s true!
The family unit is more important!
However, sadly families have been looked down upon for not owning land or their own homes. Looking back I took a low ball job at the school district starting at 8,000 a year. I remember asking for a raise to keep up with inflation and I was told, “NO you don’t have and education.”, but I had the same schedule as my kids so we could live in a small town, while my husband drove 120 miles round trip everyday for 30 years.
THANK GOD WE GOT THROUGH IT!
It was rough, but all worth it today!
beautiful
So wise
how wonderful for the children to actually REMEMBER THEIR PARENT WAS AROUND!!!! why is society trying to drive a wedge between children and their families!!!
@@qwertyqwert2772 because its profitable
Thanks for being so real. Seeing a influencer who doesn’t have it all figured out and is genuine is so appreciated in todays culture 🙌🏼🙏🏼💕
I’m looking at the prospect of starting over again at the age of 45 - my partner of last 22 years has just dropped the bombshell that our relationship is over! So yeah, daunting, emotional, upsetting, all that and then some! Doing it all on my own with complex health/medical/invisible disabilities is scaring the begeezus out of me!
Every morning, make a point of consciously stopping, looking yourself in the eye in a mirror, and tell yourself "You got this." Say it like you *mean* it. It may sound corny, but it *will* help keep the fear & concern in proper perspective. Best of luck to you!
45 is a good age.
I was in your shoes 8 years ago. It's not easy, but you can do it. Find a good church, mine is tiny, and a good ladies group. We all occasionally need some help. A good church is a great place to find it.
God bless.
Sorry to hear about your bombshell… sounds like there’s a lot of that going around these days! If I were you, I’d think of what makes you happy, passionate… and jump in! don’t ask for permission or apologize… you put in 22 years, live for you now ❤
Aren’t the ups and downs of life amazing!?! I’m 70 years old and I’ve sold everything and moved about 4 times! It’s an amazing learning lesson each time! I can’t wait to hear about your experiences! 💕
I'm 59. I moved from the US to the UK in my early 40s to start a new life. 8 years later my husband and I split and I moved to Ireland to start over yet again. Now 9 years later I find myself ending a chapter yet again. I'll be moving back to the UK again. Being a minimalist sure does make these international moves easier! And yes, we get better at handling the curve balls each time!
My dad is also 70 years old and turning 71 years old this November and he has 3 grown adult 👨 children but no grandchildren yet.
I'm 70 also and have lost count of the times that I have moved. My husband and I were talking the other evening about a time we were renting a small apartment in a big new city. At the time it was all hard work. But looking back, we had so many good times there, so many great memories, we realised that it was one of the BEST times of our lives! It's not about WHERE you are, it's WHO you are with.
I'm so glad Mr Zen has found a job that he enjoys again!!! Sending many well wishes to your family!
I am 53 and moved, for the 17th time, 3 years ago.
4 children, 30 years of marriage, 6 different countries.
Every time I moved, I honestly thought it was the last time.
Now, I don't care, I go with the flow! 😊
sometimes that little fantasy of staying put is what gets us through the adjustment, but us humans we are pretty resilient! I'm 65 and the changes don't suddenly stop... not one bit!
I am moving to a new country again. Your comment is encouraging.
I've been in one country now for almost 6 years and it's killing me lol. Variety is good.
HARE Krishna 🎉😂❤
😂😂😂 My husband and I have moved so many times as well! We have four kids now, and only the last two moves have we declared as the last move! But who knows! 😂 We're already talking about elsewhere. I'm aching to get us abroad! 🤞❤
I clicked on this so fast. I'm so glad everything is ok! I gotta say fair play for putting your family first! Well done 👏 you've got this! Lots of love from Ireland 🇮🇪
I did as well! I knew something wasn't 'quite right.' But SO glad that everything is ok!
I'm so emotional watching this, on your behalf, but also because I just turned 40 and we are going to be starting over in a new city soon after 10 years in our first home together. We have a lot of feelings about it. Here's to new adventures!
We’re 41, married 10 years and moving to a new state as well in 2024! Good luck on your next adventure!!
I’m joining the 40s and starting over with a big move club too, this comment section must be full of us!! Moving from US to Australia in a few weeks. Good luck to us all!!
43 wishing to move not sure where...
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
Please do not stop this Channel.... ❤
‘Change is the only constant’ - long time subscriber here. I have also learned, in my 82 years, that excitement and trepidation share the same very thin line. So glad you are landing on the excitement side for your new family adventure. Definitely A to Zen. 😘 I’ll be Watching and applauding you all the way. Much love… Susan
You had me concerned you were splitting up! The Lord is opening a new chapter in your life: your husband is fulfilled, your kids have learned amazing life skills that will serve them well in their lives, you are successful in what you do PLUS have content for weeks! It is a blessing you have each other as support. I love watching your family --- your book is still being written
I’m happy your family is still together. I hope you find a way to keep your sons German so they don’t lose it. They say if you learn language while in elementary school you can get the accent down to native.
Only the accent though. It's actually the proficiency of the native language that determines that of the foreign language.
40 years old, 50 years old, 60 years old....changes are constant. Be flexible.
I was wondering where you were. I was waiting for your video. Everything will work out.
I would never presume to tell you what to do, but if you can look at it as the next chapter vs starting over, you will realize (more comfortably for your emotions) that you’re writing your one big book of life, and not a library of different stories.
Welcome home!!!
Its always hard to move and start again i know you and your family wherever you go you will make it home as long as you are all together
Wow Marissa! So much change ❤. I’m sorry for your forever home loss but love the choice you made 😊
I also had to leave Germany bc I couldn’t get another job. It was my life’s goal. Now I am working to find a new life goal in the US :/ You are resilient! And you have each other
As someone who lived in Germany around the same time (2019-2021), I would love to hear about your reverse culture shock when moving back to the States! For me it was the grocery shopping and seeing people with overly packed carts, the huge trucks on the road, and the wide parking spots. Logically, I knew they existed, but seeing it again every day was jarring!
When I visited Germany years ago, I had to rent a car. Being in a foreign country, I wanted a car that was similar in size to mine at home so I'd feel comfortable. Little did I know that I should have gotten a small car just due to the size of the parking spaces.
I’ve never left North America, & I’m overwhelmed by the insanity. Just last week, while sitting parked, the guy next to me backs out, in his 20’ mega sized truck, while the guy behind him is backing out in his oversized pickup, & they collided. I see near collisions all the time, but that was in slow-mo.
I drive a tiny pickup, & have literally been closed in a parking spot by 4 extra long trucks parked next to & behind me, unable to move more than 2’.
And lately there appears to be a trend of making right turns from left lanes.. at red lights… in front of cars waiting on green. Same behavior whenever there’s a school bus with flashing lights. I see this every day, & I’m in a town of about 12,000.
Yes! Total culture shock!! Lack of people walking too
I have not left the United States but moved from a large packed city to a small mountain town. I had been followed home at Christmas and they tried unsuccessfully to get into my locked car, I had a flasher jump on the hood of my car. and other random things that happen in a city. I had aquired a personal safety device which broke when I moved. My stress level instantly went down after the move. It is jarring when I have to travel to a big city.
@@schnder1I'm glad you're safe now! I'm sure you've got an army of people who have your back if something ever goes wrong! Small town people take care of each other!
Change is so scary! I'm proud of you for being open to change and getting help along the way! ❤
I just turned 68. I lived in Germany for a year when 33, so I know the changes your going through. So many options at the grocery store, for one. I married at 35, 1st child 38, 2nd at 41, divorced '03, still live with ex. Life is full of changes, and ups and downs. That's what makes it challenging. You're a strong self-assured woman who beautifully articulates your life on video. Keep up the great work! I can't wait to hear your continuing story and where in the US you landed. Best regards from a kindred spirit in So. California ❤️ where I'm trying to cut the clutter in my retirement.😊
I’m Canadian and love US grocery stores 🏬 😂 There are so many options for EVERYTHING ❤ I even cross the border a few times a year to get stuff we don’t have here 🇨🇦🇺🇸
I spent over half of my life moving every few years with my spouse and kids. I really disliked repeatedly basically starting over repeatedly but we saw so many amazing places and met great people. I don’t regret a single move because of the life experiences is gave us all. I think it helped my children be able to relate to so many different types of people. This is going to be a great new adventure
Same. Military family. We have never been in any one place long enough to put down roots. It builds character and broadens your world, though.
I relate to this so much! I've moved 14 times in the last 10 years and it's mentally tolling to pick up your life and start over so often. But at the same time it's a nice reset button to declutter your life. I've learned that home is not where you put your things down but where your family is. Happy for you and the decisions you've made for your family!
I cannot wait to see your future videos on how you managed to declutter, sell, and pack your belongings once again. Wishing you and your family continued strength on this new chapter back in the US! ❤️
My heart goes out to you. Sending hugs and prayers.
Having been in your shoes throughout my husband's career, I know what you're feeling. The positivity you are exuding is the right way to approach this change and allowing yourself to grieve is a necessity. New adventures await you and your family - enjoy!!
Oh my God, this is me! I'm 40 and just moved back to the UK after 8 years in Canada. Starting over again is so hard.
All the best with your transition.
So many people are leaving Canada 🇨🇦 😢
Sounds like it was meant to be❤we only try our best in life
This video is so timely. My husband and I are at a T in the road in life, on a path we thought was straight. BUT we have not decluttered. And let me tell you, having so much stuff makes you feel stuck and like you have to stop and sit there paralyzed instead of making the turn and seeing what life holds next. Thank you for this valuable reminder. This was the reality check I needed to start decluttering TODAY.
As someone who sold everything but 4 boxes and 2 suitcases to move 4,670 miles only to repeat it again 3 years later when we needed to return to our original city, I feel for you. Please keep up the channel as I enjoy your videos. We are trying to get back to minimalism to save money ourselves. We may need another move soon anyway.
I’ve been missing you and this explains it! Can’t wait to see what this means for the future 🙏
You inspire me. Good for you, changing course is scary but can be the key to finding your new bliss. And I bet it was a lot easier to move than ever before since you’re carrying so much less baggage.
Hugs hon! Transitions are hard especially when you put down roots after seasons of incredible loss. I’m just so thankful it wasn’t a death in the extended family and you’re still making minimalism videos. Looking forward to seeing the new chapter!
I want to hug you! We just moved back to the US from being in Portugal for 2 years. I totally feel you on the grief and mourning. So many feelings!!! Hugs! God Bless You!!
We're a military family and know the bitter sweet struggles of planting new roots and time apart from loved ones. Next year we'll have lived in our 11th home in 12 years of marriage. Even though we've endured a few deployments and many detachments/trainings, we've also made huge sacrifices to keep our core family together and they've all been worth it
Thank you for your family’s service ❤
HARE Krishna ❤🎉
Best of luck to you! I have been thinking of you and when I saw you posted I couldn’t wait to hear what your change was!
It's totally valid to grieve the life you thought you would have even for something "little" as moving. I felt pretty crashed when we were told we had to leave our place a few months ago. Now we are in a new place and things are fine but it's just like that, you had other plans, you make things up in your mind and financially plan.But in the end it works out somehow and as you say, it's a new beginning. Good luck to you and you can be extremely proud of yourself and your family for taking this step.
Oh honey, I am so sorry for the hurt from the transition and leaving your beautiful home. And I am so happy for you all as a family that you have prioritized your "family time" and made the decision to move with your husband-and thankful for his new job! As a railroad wife, we have spent the majority of our 20 years of marriage with my husband working away or living away from home and me being a "solo" parent (you know, not single parent, but the only parent home to handle all the things, make all the decisions, run all the errands, go to all the appts., be at all of the games, pay all the bills, help with all the homework and make all the meals all alone). It's hard. Wish you all the best of luck and so glad to see the channel up and going again!
Wow, what a huge life change Marissa! I have been living in Spain for nearly 40 years, and moving back to the US would definitely be a major challenge. Looking forward to your future videos. Best of luck to you and your family!
I'm so proud of you guys! Change is hard, but unhappiness is harder. Blessings on your new adventure! Heck, maybe I'll run into you here in the States and buy you a tea. Rock on! 🎉
I’ve found your videos and blogs so helpful, and only recently realized you had been living in Berlin. I am from the US and lived there from 2016-2021 - and I miss it so much. I wish you all the best with your new chapter and thank you for everything you’ve shared!!
I’m glad you are honoring the grief that comes with the change of life plans. I am going through a similar phase where I need to decide where to move next. When we moved to our current home two years ago, I, too, thought that we would stay here for at least 10 years. Moving one’s roots and one’s home is truly difficult, physically, emotionally and psychologically.
I can relate so much to your experience especially on good work/financial offers versus family being together. We've gone through that long distance period (also during our second child for us) and it was overwhelming. This time around, we just moved out of our hometown of 30-years to someplace new. God knows if we'll be here for good, or like you, move back to our hometown.
Thank you for sharing this video, reminds me to always be ready for the unexpected. "Life happens."
Lots of love to your Zen family from Malaysia. ❤
Hey, Marissa! Hope you feel better soon! ❤
I've always appreciated how genuine your content is. Looking forward being part of your new journey!
I started over at 55, leaving the US and moving to Europe. Traveling light is essential :) I'm so sorry you had to move back to the states. I hope your family have very happy adventures, and maybe your path will bring you back to Germany, where you can reunite with your extended family. Looking forward to your future content.
We did this at 46. Its just a number and living a life of purpose requires us to stay flexible. So wonderful to hear your story.🙏
It's going to be alright. Trust the universe!
Somehow I had the feeling it had to do with you guys moving to a new place. And was secretly hoping that all loved ones are healthy and safe (I too went through a traumatic three year period leading to this year where i unexpectedly lost my loved ones, and that makes me always only think of the worst). Good to know that is the case.
Good luck to you and your family on this new beginning. You got this. And congrats to Mr.Zen for finding his ikigai!
How did you have this feeling? I had no clue! 😊
@Jer.616 It's more of how she mentioned that the winds are changing and that there won't be videos for a while :) moving out can be a lengthy process - packing and moving might not take much, but settling in does take a lot of time. That's why
@@solitarypilot1482 oh, I don't remember hearing her say the winds are changing and there won't be videos for a while. 🤷
@@Jer.616 ah no she did not say it in any video 😂. It was the community post that I was talking about
@@solitarypilot1482 Oh! Ok!
I just told my my older son that life isn’t just black and white. In the gray is where most of life happens ❤️ Prayers for all of you as you embark on another adventure. Can’t wait to hear more about it! Happy Sunday 🙂
You're so cute.
Feels like you are gentle soul, great friend. 😊
I know how hard transcontinental moves are (I’ve done 4 myself). I’m a European living in the US. Not lying, I miss the walk-everywhere lifestyle, but I’ve learn that my attitude makes all the difference. Wishing you the best in this new chapter, and loving that you’ll be in this time zone!
Home is where your heart is!!!
You channel is so beautiful and it makes my life more meaningful!! Thank you!!
Personally, I like new beginnings, because you take what makes you happy from your previous life and previous self, and add in new things that make you happy.
Wishing you continued success and happiness!! Thank you for sharing your family and your life with us :-))
Thank you for all this videos... It's nice to know I'm not the only one going throght out the same things... sort of...
Thanks for letting us know you are ok. Kudos to you and family for recognizing what means the most to you. Change is a mixed bag- scary and exciting. Wishing you all the best on your transition and settling into your new life!
I hope it goes from being a struggle to move again to an adventure! I thought I should stop moving all the time when I turned 40 -- and moved 10 times between 40 and 50! Then I stayed in one state for 17 years (and one apartment for 11 of those years) and was afraid that meant I'm old! When I retired I started wandering again, but COVID slowed me down. I have bought my first house at age 72 and I'm dealing with the anxiety of being settled! I love it -- and miss my wandering life -- at the same time! Wishing you the best in finding your new home place.
I was so worried when I first starting watching the video. So glad you and your family are ok. It will be adjustment moving again. But it sounds like the best decision for your family. Can't wait to see new videos of all your new adventures.
I subscribed because I want to support you! I am in a change situation and this was like a sign from God that the move of 25 min from my home is not a big deal compared to what you are going through. Hugz and wishing your family a huge success ❤
Wow! What an emotional time and transition. I hope you find happiness in your new beginnings. Funny enough, our lives seem to be always somehow in tandem as we've been recently considering a move. Hugs to you and your family Marissa. ❤️
I'm sorry for your loss and wish you all the best for your adventure ahead
I actually missed you! I’m not a long time subscriber but it’s crazy how you’ve become a part of my Sunday morning routine. When I sit down in the morning to have coffee and just relax, I also listen to you. I’m so glad to see you again. I can see that’s it’s very emotional time for you but I’m sure you will adjust well. Home is where your family is. I am a military wife so we moved a lot. Now that my husband is retiring, I’m anticipating this will be our last move. I’m also in my 40s and starting over.
Having only found your channel last week not what I was expecting! Good luck with starting over.
Good luck for your future. I hope your kids will adapt quickly and not miss Germany too much (or keep their German fluent and come back to study!).
Good for you, for starting over and doing what you need to do!
Wow! Thanks for the update. I wish all the best for you and your family. take care
Enjoy your new adventure as a family. Looking forward to following your journey.
I lived in Berlin/Germany for 25 years and never thought I would leave. Came back to Canada almost 2 years ago.
Exciting times ahead for you - best wishes for your new chapter- looking forward to your updates
I missed you. But hoped you were just on vacation, I’m blown away at the thought you are once again moving over seas. Life is such an adventure, every step is something new. Just think of the memories you are making for your kids. I look forward to making that journey with you….. no matter the stumbling stones, hills or valleys, stress is there just so we can appreciate the positive things. I wish you every blessing and hope for all the best for you and your wonderful family. Keep those videos coming. 🦋🦋🦋
Thank you for sharing. 😢I have tears . I hope all falls in the right places. Wishing you a great new beginning.
It's great to see someone taking risks like a move overseas. We moved from Canada to England 12 years ago and have often thought whether it was the right decision for us and more importantly for our children. The excitement of a new beginning also brings with it regret for me and it's THAT emotion I wish I could resolve. Thank you for sharing that very personal and raw feeling of regret. I look forward to seeing how you work through this new life chapter.
I am one of your new subscribers and began watching because I am looking at another big life change in my 60's and need to deal with my desire to hold onto things. I understand your emotions, we moved around about 15 times before setting up our "forever" home and then eventually had to leave that behind too. I don't know if it ever gets any easier, I certainly appreciate you sharing your journey and skills!
I so appreciate you and your videos - your openness and non judgement has served as a great source of support for me. My husband and I this year minimized our belongings (by 90%) and moved to Portugal. Your kindness and positive attitude will serve you well as you settle into a new chapter in Chicago. Wishing you and your family much happiness! (I have shared your channel with at least 10 friends!)
Hi Lori, thanks so much for your kind words, shares, and generous support - I truly appreciate all of it!!! Wishing you all the best in Portugal 🙏
At 39 I had to start all over. I pack all my stuff, quit my corporate job in a huge city and move to the forest. I had a very hard time to find a job and I was almost giving up and moving back to the city. I really wanted to avoid that, so I look for a job outside my comfort zone and thankfully I found something. Life is crazy and it gives you curb balls, but the main thing is to prioritize what makes you happy.
I so enjoy your videos. I am glad you put family first.
I’m so glad it was this and not something awful 😊 happening
I loved your apt so sad you had to leave it
The decor was absolutely beautiful
I was really looking forward to meet you someday in Berlin, but I am happy for you and for choosing your family over your house, I wish you luck and all the best for you ❤❤
Oh wow! That was unexpected nd amazing. We're going through somw big changes as well. We have a 10 week old daughter to add to the chaos of homesteading and homeschooling an 8 year old and a 3 year old, and my husband, ro has worked from home for 5 years now it's going to start a new job on September 1st.
I'm looking forward to your new videos! All the best.
I was so glad and excited to see you back when I opened UA-cam this morning. I wish you all the best with your fresh start and am looking forward to watching your videos.
Your precious boys are learning that when life throws us for a loop (and it always does!!), your priorities remain loving and supporting each other as a family. Life is hard. I admire that you're facing this unexpected change with strength and honesty about your feelings. ❤
Seeing the first footage of you packing up and preparing to leave got me misty-eyed...and then thinking of that picture you had of starting there forever... ❤️ Feeling for you in this change, but thrilled for your new adventure! And it will make visits with extended family all the more precious :)
Looking forward to hearing more! Praying that you are able to settle in well and make new friends in your new beginning 🥰
Good luck with everything ❤
Oh wow Melissa, big hugs! I have missed your videos (love them very much) they are not coming up on my notifications. I will reset it. Sending positive vibes to help you all settle in and get through another big change/shift. Kia kaha, kia maia, kia manawanui!
I’m 41 and starting over. Thankful I don’t have children. My last elderly family member (my father) has dementia and won’t last too long. After he dies I am taking off.
Wow! Did not expect that! I hope the move went smoothly and that you guys are enjoying your new home.
Marissa! I have Missed your Videos! You are so inspiring! Everything will work out for you and your Beautiful Family, like it always does🙏 Blessings from Los Angeles❤
Really excited to hear about your journey.
All the best to you and your family as you begin this next chapter.
Glad all is well with you and your family. Look forward to seeing new content from you.
I love that your husband listens to his intuition. 🎉
Mine is returning to America after 6 years in Europe.🎉🎉
I’m at a crossroad at my life and this video was very timely for me! Thank you for sharing.
I can completely relate to your moves! We have moved often and have even picked up and moved from Chicago to Stockholm last October! I’m 47! I’ve always said “I’m never moving again” with every move we’ve made. The joke is on me! But, it’s always an adventure and eventually the stress fades. Like you said, we have to “handle the curveballs”! Good luck to you and your family!
Exciting, yes, but I can see your how emotional your move must have been. You have a beautiful home and a beautiful family. I look forward to your next video! 😊
Welcome home 😅, so glad y’all are okay. Thank you for sharing your journey. Wishing you the best of it all👍👍
Good luck 🍀 wishing you and your family all the best!!
Of course I'm sure we'd all like to know where you're moving to in the USA! My biggest question is how you decided what to take with you - and how was it different or the same from when you packed the last time you moved overseas.
Sending hugs, best wishes and prayers from Jamaica 🇯🇲.
Hope you and the family settle back quickly and smoothly.
Can’t wait to hear more specifics about moving (what to bring, what to part with)
Wow! I hope you're settling in comfortably. Can't wait for the updates of your new home and adventures!
Omg! I saw the title of this post and I was so worried, but I tend to listen to you when I am walking. So I had to rush through my errands so that I could listen to you. . As long as you, your husband, and the boys are ok, you guys will be fine wherever you live. Looking forward to following your next adventure.