I'm Starting Over at Age 40
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- Опубліковано 26 сер 2023
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I've had to start over so many times in my life, but I never expected I'd be starting over at 40 years old. Life is changing, and so is this channel - here is why we are doing a "life reset" and what the future holds for our minimalist family. I can't wait to share all of our life updates with you going forward. :)
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ABOUT A TO ZEN LIFE
Along my journey to let go of 30 years of clutter, I accidentally became a minimalist and it was life-changing.
Before, I was an emotional hoarder with nothing but the clutter from lost loved ones - and $25,000 of debt - to my name. Now I have a beautiful home in Europe, a happy family, live debt-free, and - best of all - wake up to a life that I’m EXCITED to live every day.
My mission is to help you conquer your clutter and simplify YOUR way to a happier and better life. HERE'S OUR STORY: atozenlife.com/about-a-to-zen...
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Dear Miss, I haven't watched the video yet but I know how it feels. It feels like a huge, overwhelming challenge, to reinvent and turn your life around when you're over 40.
But, it possible because others in their 70s - 90s, have done the same.
The best advice? Just do it. Don't wait. Don't over think. Do it. And then, like a surfer surfing a wave for the first time SURF the momentum. And ENJOY the adventure.
Peace and love,
David
I remember when my kids were young and we were living paycheck to paycheck. My husband said he was going to get a second job so that we could try and save money to buy a house. I told him, “no, I rather our kids have time with you while they’re young than have a house.” Best decision. Life’s too short. 😊
Its’s true!
The family unit is more important!
However, sadly families have been looked down upon for not owning land or their own homes. Looking back I took a low ball job at the school district starting at 8,000 a year. I remember asking for a raise to keep up with inflation and I was told, “NO you don’t have and education.”, but I had the same schedule as my kids so we could live in a small town, while my husband drove 120 miles round trip everyday for 30 years.
THANK GOD WE GOT THROUGH IT!
It was rough, but all worth it today!
beautiful
So wise
how wonderful for the children to actually REMEMBER THEIR PARENT WAS AROUND!!!! why is society trying to drive a wedge between children and their families!!!
@@qwertyqwert2772 because its profitable
Thanks for being so real. Seeing a influencer who doesn’t have it all figured out and is genuine is so appreciated in todays culture 🙌🏼🙏🏼💕
Aren’t the ups and downs of life amazing!?! I’m 70 years old and I’ve sold everything and moved about 4 times! It’s an amazing learning lesson each time! I can’t wait to hear about your experiences! 💕
I'm 59. I moved from the US to the UK in my early 40s to start a new life. 8 years later my husband and I split and I moved to Ireland to start over yet again. Now 9 years later I find myself ending a chapter yet again. I'll be moving back to the UK again. Being a minimalist sure does make these international moves easier! And yes, we get better at handling the curve balls each time!
My dad is also 70 years old and turning 71 years old this November and he has 3 grown adult 👨 children but no grandchildren yet.
I'm 70 also and have lost count of the times that I have moved. My husband and I were talking the other evening about a time we were renting a small apartment in a big new city. At the time it was all hard work. But looking back, we had so many good times there, so many great memories, we realised that it was one of the BEST times of our lives! It's not about WHERE you are, it's WHO you are with.
I am 53 and moved, for the 17th time, 3 years ago.
4 children, 30 years of marriage, 6 different countries.
Every time I moved, I honestly thought it was the last time.
Now, I don't care, I go with the flow! 😊
sometimes that little fantasy of staying put is what gets us through the adjustment, but us humans we are pretty resilient! I'm 65 and the changes don't suddenly stop... not one bit!
thats interesting life
I am moving to a new country again. Your comment is encouraging.
I've been in one country now for almost 6 years and it's killing me lol. Variety is good.
HARE Krishna 🎉😂❤
I'm so glad Mr Zen has found a job that he enjoys again!!! Sending many well wishes to your family!
I’m looking at the prospect of starting over again at the age of 45 - my partner of last 22 years has just dropped the bombshell that our relationship is over! So yeah, daunting, emotional, upsetting, all that and then some! Doing it all on my own with complex health/medical/invisible disabilities is scaring the begeezus out of me!
Every morning, make a point of consciously stopping, looking yourself in the eye in a mirror, and tell yourself "You got this." Say it like you *mean* it. It may sound corny, but it *will* help keep the fear & concern in proper perspective. Best of luck to you!
45 is a good age.
I was in your shoes 8 years ago. It's not easy, but you can do it. Find a good church, mine is tiny, and a good ladies group. We all occasionally need some help. A good church is a great place to find it.
God bless.
Sorry to hear about your bombshell… sounds like there’s a lot of that going around these days! If I were you, I’d think of what makes you happy, passionate… and jump in! don’t ask for permission or apologize… you put in 22 years, live for you now ❤
I clicked on this so fast. I'm so glad everything is ok! I gotta say fair play for putting your family first! Well done 👏 you've got this! Lots of love from Ireland 🇮🇪
I did as well! I knew something wasn't 'quite right.' But SO glad that everything is ok!
‘Change is the only constant’ - long time subscriber here. I have also learned, in my 82 years, that excitement and trepidation share the same very thin line. So glad you are landing on the excitement side for your new family adventure. Definitely A to Zen. 😘 I’ll be Watching and applauding you all the way. Much love… Susan
You had me concerned you were splitting up! The Lord is opening a new chapter in your life: your husband is fulfilled, your kids have learned amazing life skills that will serve them well in their lives, you are successful in what you do PLUS have content for weeks! It is a blessing you have each other as support. I love watching your family --- your book is still being written
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
Please do not stop this Channel.... ❤
40 is still young. You and your family will do great.
I'm so emotional watching this, on your behalf, but also because I just turned 40 and we are going to be starting over in a new city soon after 10 years in our first home together. We have a lot of feelings about it. Here's to new adventures!
We’re 41, married 10 years and moving to a new state as well in 2024! Good luck on your next adventure!!
I’m joining the 40s and starting over with a big move club too, this comment section must be full of us!! Moving from US to Australia in a few weeks. Good luck to us all!!
43 wishing to move not sure where...
I’m happy your family is still together. I hope you find a way to keep your sons German so they don’t lose it. They say if you learn language while in elementary school you can get the accent down to native.
Only the accent though. It's actually the proficiency of the native language that determines that of the foreign language.
As someone who lived in Germany around the same time (2019-2021), I would love to hear about your reverse culture shock when moving back to the States! For me it was the grocery shopping and seeing people with overly packed carts, the huge trucks on the road, and the wide parking spots. Logically, I knew they existed, but seeing it again every day was jarring!
When I visited Germany years ago, I had to rent a car. Being in a foreign country, I wanted a car that was similar in size to mine at home so I'd feel comfortable. Little did I know that I should have gotten a small car just due to the size of the parking spaces.
I’ve never left North America, & I’m overwhelmed by the insanity. Just last week, while sitting parked, the guy next to me backs out, in his 20’ mega sized truck, while the guy behind him is backing out in his oversized pickup, & they collided. I see near collisions all the time, but that was in slow-mo.
I drive a tiny pickup, & have literally been closed in a parking spot by 4 extra long trucks parked next to & behind me, unable to move more than 2’.
And lately there appears to be a trend of making right turns from left lanes.. at red lights… in front of cars waiting on green. Same behavior whenever there’s a school bus with flashing lights. I see this every day, & I’m in a town of about 12,000.
Yes! Total culture shock!! Lack of people walking too
I have not left the United States but moved from a large packed city to a small mountain town. I had been followed home at Christmas and they tried unsuccessfully to get into my locked car, I had a flasher jump on the hood of my car. and other random things that happen in a city. I had aquired a personal safety device which broke when I moved. My stress level instantly went down after the move. It is jarring when I have to travel to a big city.
@@schnder1I'm glad you're safe now! I'm sure you've got an army of people who have your back if something ever goes wrong! Small town people take care of each other!
40 years old, 50 years old, 60 years old....changes are constant. Be flexible.
I would never presume to tell you what to do, but if you can look at it as the next chapter vs starting over, you will realize (more comfortably for your emotions) that you’re writing your one big book of life, and not a library of different stories.
Welcome home!!!
I just turned 68. I lived in Germany for a year when 33, so I know the changes your going through. So many options at the grocery store, for one. I married at 35, 1st child 38, 2nd at 41, divorced '03, still live with ex. Life is full of changes, and ups and downs. That's what makes it challenging. You're a strong self-assured woman who beautifully articulates your life on video. Keep up the great work! I can't wait to hear your continuing story and where in the US you landed. Best regards from a kindred spirit in So. California ❤️ where I'm trying to cut the clutter in my retirement.😊
I’m Canadian and love US grocery stores 🏬 😂 There are so many options for EVERYTHING ❤ I even cross the border a few times a year to get stuff we don’t have here 🇨🇦🇺🇸
Change is so scary! I'm proud of you for being open to change and getting help along the way! ❤
I cannot wait to see your future videos on how you managed to declutter, sell, and pack your belongings once again. Wishing you and your family continued strength on this new chapter back in the US! ❤️
I relate to this so much! I've moved 14 times in the last 10 years and it's mentally tolling to pick up your life and start over so often. But at the same time it's a nice reset button to declutter your life. I've learned that home is not where you put your things down but where your family is. Happy for you and the decisions you've made for your family!
It's going to be alright. Trust the universe!
Your precious boys are learning that when life throws us for a loop (and it always does!!), your priorities remain loving and supporting each other as a family. Life is hard. I admire that you're facing this unexpected change with strength and honesty about your feelings. ❤
I spent over half of my life moving every few years with my spouse and kids. I really disliked repeatedly basically starting over repeatedly but we saw so many amazing places and met great people. I don’t regret a single move because of the life experiences is gave us all. I think it helped my children be able to relate to so many different types of people. This is going to be a great new adventure
Same. Military family. We have never been in any one place long enough to put down roots. It builds character and broadens your world, though.
Oh my God, this is me! I'm 40 and just moved back to the UK after 8 years in Canada. Starting over again is so hard.
All the best with your transition.
So many people are leaving Canada 🇨🇦 😢
At 39 I had to start all over. I pack all my stuff, quit my corporate job in a huge city and move to the forest. I had a very hard time to find a job and I was almost giving up and moving back to the city. I really wanted to avoid that, so I look for a job outside my comfort zone and thankfully I found something. Life is crazy and it gives you curb balls, but the main thing is to prioritize what makes you happy.
Having been in your shoes throughout my husband's career, I know what you're feeling. The positivity you are exuding is the right way to approach this change and allowing yourself to grieve is a necessity. New adventures await you and your family - enjoy!!
I also had to leave Germany bc I couldn’t get another job. It was my life’s goal. Now I am working to find a new life goal in the US :/ You are resilient! And you have each other
As someone who sold everything but 4 boxes and 2 suitcases to move 4,670 miles only to repeat it again 3 years later when we needed to return to our original city, I feel for you. Please keep up the channel as I enjoy your videos. We are trying to get back to minimalism to save money ourselves. We may need another move soon anyway.
Hey, Marissa! Hope you feel better soon! ❤
I've always appreciated how genuine your content is. Looking forward being part of your new journey!
Hugs hon! Transitions are hard especially when you put down roots after seasons of incredible loss. I’m just so thankful it wasn’t a death in the extended family and you’re still making minimalism videos. Looking forward to seeing the new chapter!
Thanks for letting us know you are ok. Kudos to you and family for recognizing what means the most to you. Change is a mixed bag- scary and exciting. Wishing you all the best on your transition and settling into your new life!
I just told my my older son that life isn’t just black and white. In the gray is where most of life happens ❤️ Prayers for all of you as you embark on another adventure. Can’t wait to hear more about it! Happy Sunday 🙂
Wow! What an emotional time and transition. I hope you find happiness in your new beginnings. Funny enough, our lives seem to be always somehow in tandem as we've been recently considering a move. Hugs to you and your family Marissa. ❤️
I’ve been missing you and this explains it! Can’t wait to see what this means for the future 🙏
So happy to see you're all doing good!!! Congratulations on your new beginning!😊 it was beautiful and emotional to hear you taking heart for what your husband truly loves!
I'm so proud of you guys! Change is hard, but unhappiness is harder. Blessings on your new adventure! Heck, maybe I'll run into you here in the States and buy you a tea. Rock on! 🎉
I can relate so much to your experience especially on good work/financial offers versus family being together. We've gone through that long distance period (also during our second child for us) and it was overwhelming. This time around, we just moved out of our hometown of 30-years to someplace new. God knows if we'll be here for good, or like you, move back to our hometown.
Thank you for sharing this video, reminds me to always be ready for the unexpected. "Life happens."
Lots of love to your Zen family from Malaysia. ❤
You inspire me. Good for you, changing course is scary but can be the key to finding your new bliss. And I bet it was a lot easier to move than ever before since you’re carrying so much less baggage.
We're a military family and know the bitter sweet struggles of planting new roots and time apart from loved ones. Next year we'll have lived in our 11th home in 12 years of marriage. Even though we've endured a few deployments and many detachments/trainings, we've also made huge sacrifices to keep our core family together and they've all been worth it
Thank you for your family’s service ❤
HARE Krishna ❤🎉
I’ve found your videos and blogs so helpful, and only recently realized you had been living in Berlin. I am from the US and lived there from 2016-2021 - and I miss it so much. I wish you all the best with your new chapter and thank you for everything you’ve shared!!
I want to hug you! We just moved back to the US from being in Portugal for 2 years. I totally feel you on the grief and mourning. So many feelings!!! Hugs! God Bless You!!
Always new chapters in our life’s. New beginnings. Change is hard…acceptance is the answer to all my problems. Hope you and your family have a safe & happy new beginnings to this chapter! ❤
My very best wishes to you and your family as you make this huge change. Take extra good care of yourself, Marissa!
Wow! That is huge news. Excited for you and your family. Looking forward to your new adventures and pivots to minimalism. Thanks for bringing us along!
You’ve got this Queen. My heart hurts to see eveyone being pushed and pressured to make really rough choices to try and keep those they love healthy and safe. Hang in there/ you are a beautiful mentor and inspiration 💕
All the best to you and your family as you begin this next chapter.
Oh honey, I am so sorry for the hurt from the transition and leaving your beautiful home. And I am so happy for you all as a family that you have prioritized your "family time" and made the decision to move with your husband-and thankful for his new job! As a railroad wife, we have spent the majority of our 20 years of marriage with my husband working away or living away from home and me being a "solo" parent (you know, not single parent, but the only parent home to handle all the things, make all the decisions, run all the errands, go to all the appts., be at all of the games, pay all the bills, help with all the homework and make all the meals all alone). It's hard. Wish you all the best of luck and so glad to see the channel up and going again!
Good luck and welcome back. I completely understand about starting over multiple times. Your words of comfort was great and well needed. Thank you
I’m glad you are honoring the grief that comes with the change of life plans. I am going through a similar phase where I need to decide where to move next. When we moved to our current home two years ago, I, too, thought that we would stay here for at least 10 years. Moving one’s roots and one’s home is truly difficult, physically, emotionally and psychologically.
Ahhhh you’ve got me in tears. My little family is trying to figure things out and it’s not easy. I can’t wait to see more! I adore you!
I wish you and your family have a wonderful new beginning! This video came out on a day that i ve been feeling very stressed about the changes i need to make in my life at age 31 and it's been such an emotional booster! Thank you girl! Wish you all the best! ❤
Truly happy to see you back Marissa 😉🙏
What a hard and good decision you've taken together 😉💪sometimes it's tough but worth it !!!
Bises Marissa
Thank you for sharing this update and being honest and vulnerable. This video was very relatable.
This couldn't come on a better time. I am moving to a new place this week and needed some inspiration and motivation from someone who experienced something similar. Thanks for this video. I am excited to continue following your journey.
So excited to go along on this new venture with your family!
Thank you for sharing and welcome back! I hope you and your beautiful family find this chapter in your lives peaceful and prosperous.
Best wishes in your move and new adventure! I just recently started watching some of your videos and am enjoying them. You've been very brave and vulnerable in telling about your life. Thank you!
Woah! What a big change! Good luck as you navigate all the changes. Cheers to you and your family for taking on a brave change, and extra cheers to all the new opportunities headed your way! Welcome back 😊❤
I am one of your new subscribers and began watching because I am looking at another big life change in my 60's and need to deal with my desire to hold onto things. I understand your emotions, we moved around about 15 times before setting up our "forever" home and then eventually had to leave that behind too. I don't know if it ever gets any easier, I certainly appreciate you sharing your journey and skills!
This video is so timely. My husband and I are at a T in the road in life, on a path we thought was straight. BUT we have not decluttered. And let me tell you, having so much stuff makes you feel stuck and like you have to stop and sit there paralyzed instead of making the turn and seeing what life holds next. Thank you for this valuable reminder. This was the reality check I needed to start decluttering TODAY.
My heart goes out to you. Sending hugs and prayers.
Wow! Thanks for the update. I wish all the best for you and your family. take care
You are all so brave and I wish you and your family all the best during this next chapter. Life is for living, we grow each day and hopefully this move can allow you all to grow a little more.
Seeing the first footage of you packing up and preparing to leave got me misty-eyed...and then thinking of that picture you had of starting there forever... ❤️ Feeling for you in this change, but thrilled for your new adventure! And it will make visits with extended family all the more precious :)
Looking forward to hearing more! Praying that you are able to settle in well and make new friends in your new beginning 🥰
I LOVE THIS VIDEO!
Such meaningful reflection. I, too, am making decision to move. Painful but necessarry - your inspiration helps a lot. Much Gratitude!!
Wow, what a huge life change Marissa! I have been living in Spain for nearly 40 years, and moving back to the US would definitely be a major challenge. Looking forward to your future videos. Best of luck to you and your family!
Omgosh!! I'm shocked. But so looking forward to being with you as you navigate this new chapter. Endings and new beginnings are such a flood of emotions, I wish you and your family well.
I actually missed you! I’m not a long time subscriber but it’s crazy how you’ve become a part of my Sunday morning routine. When I sit down in the morning to have coffee and just relax, I also listen to you. I’m so glad to see you again. I can see that’s it’s very emotional time for you but I’m sure you will adjust well. Home is where your family is. I am a military wife so we moved a lot. Now that my husband is retiring, I’m anticipating this will be our last move. I’m also in my 40s and starting over.
Best of luck to you! I have been thinking of you and when I saw you posted I couldn’t wait to hear what your change was!
I'm starting over at 41 by separating from my partner of more than 20 years and moving across the US back into my family's home. Life happens.
That’s huge! Best wishes to you!! 💕
Omg! I saw the title of this post and I was so worried, but I tend to listen to you when I am walking. So I had to rush through my errands so that I could listen to you. . As long as you, your husband, and the boys are ok, you guys will be fine wherever you live. Looking forward to following your next adventure.
Oh, my gosh, Marissa, a shock indeed. I am so touched by your candor and heartfelt honesty in relating this latest chapter in your story (so far) though. All good reasons for making what had to be a difficult choice -- one based on your deeply shared values. I could relate on many levels despite our different circumstances...sometimes you just have to take the leap...again. I'm definitely looking forward to hearing more and am sending good wishes to you all across the U.S. not an ocean this time. Take care.
Thanks a lot for letting us know, dear Marissa ! Sending you lots of love from Hamburg ❤❤ good luck for another big change in your live 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀may everything be as light and 'easy' as possible 🙏🙏
Thank you for all the good vibes you and your husband have put out there and my very best wishes for your new start. 40 seems a perfect age for this, good luck!
I totally understand you as someone who’s moved around quite a bit, including internationally. All the best to you and your family as you settle down in your new life!
Great to have you back on our screens Marissa. And I’m glad your husband got a fulfilling job!
Wishing you and your family blessings on this new journey. The USA has changed dramatically since you’ve been in Berlin. Can’t wait to see your videos!!
Hugs Marissa! I moved just before my 40th too. It's hard and so many conflicting emotions. Lots of love to you and your family 💕 😘
I can feel your sadness but your ability to stay positive, embrace the future and stay focused on your family is amazing! I wish you all the best.
I'm so excited for you! You've been doing such a good job at what you do and i think this is a great opportunity however difficult it may seem at right now but im sure everything will turn for the better!
Welcome back!!! 🇺🇲❤
Thank you for sharing this. You are doing what's best for you and your family. You're keeping a positive attitude as well.🤗
I missed you. But hoped you were just on vacation, I’m blown away at the thought you are once again moving over seas. Life is such an adventure, every step is something new. Just think of the memories you are making for your kids. I look forward to making that journey with you….. no matter the stumbling stones, hills or valleys, stress is there just so we can appreciate the positive things. I wish you every blessing and hope for all the best for you and your wonderful family. Keep those videos coming. 🦋🦋🦋
I was so worried when I first starting watching the video. So glad you and your family are ok. It will be adjustment moving again. But it sounds like the best decision for your family. Can't wait to see new videos of all your new adventures.
Change is never easy. Thank you for being so open about your thoughts and feelings. Who knows how this season will turn out...What amazing memories you have of spending time with family...You have a beautiful family.
I am sorry to hear about the troubles you and your family went through until now and the tough decision you had to make. Hope it didn't remind you too much at old wounds and you can adjust to your new life slowly and be well!
Looking forward to see new content and admire you bravery. Keep up the good work and I am not only meaning the videos.
Marissa, thank you for sharing this personal story. I also got emotional - cried when you cried
Marissa! I have Missed your Videos! You are so inspiring! Everything will work out for you and your Beautiful Family, like it always does🙏 Blessings from Los Angeles❤
I’ve been watching your channel for quite sometime now and I absolutely did not see that coming. Wow! As a military family, I understand constantly moving and the struggles that come along with it. You’ve had such an amazing opportunity to live in a different country, many people don’t get to experience that. I hope that this move is your best one yet. Will you be doing a tour and sharing your new house with us when you get it? Hugs to you and I wish you a smooth transition during this momentous time!
As someone who barely moved and desperately want to leave the home country, I am excited to hear your journey!
Thks fr sharing ur journey. Wish you all the best.
It's great to see someone taking risks like a move overseas. We moved from Canada to England 12 years ago and have often thought whether it was the right decision for us and more importantly for our children. The excitement of a new beginning also brings with it regret for me and it's THAT emotion I wish I could resolve. Thank you for sharing that very personal and raw feeling of regret. I look forward to seeing how you work through this new life chapter.
I'm so very happy to see that you posted a video today!! I was missing you and wondering what was going on in your life! I hope you've landed in a good place and you all settle in well. And don't let those boys forget how to speak German! Knowing another language is super valuable.
I'm so excited for you Marissa. This was where life called you to be in this season. Looking forward to hearing the next chapter. X
Wow! I hope you're settling in comfortably. Can't wait for the updates of your new home and adventures!
Exciting, yes, but I can see your how emotional your move must have been. You have a beautiful home and a beautiful family. I look forward to your next video! 😊
Change happens. This can come as an utter shock to those of us who built or acquired a ‘forever’ home. In hindsight, it seems so obvious that change is the only constant, but that doesn’t make it an easy lesson to live through as things unfold.
I can't wait to see the new chapter in your journey. Many blessings to you and your family!
Sending hugs, best wishes and prayers from Jamaica 🇯🇲.
Hope you and the family settle back quickly and smoothly.
Welcome home! Looking forward to following this next journey with u!!❤