Part Two: Steven Seagal Is So Much Worse Than You'd Ever Imagine | BEHIND THE BASTARDS

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    Part Two: Steven Seagal Is So Much Worse Than You'd Ever Imagine | BEHIND THE BASTARDS
    In Part Two of our series on Steven Seagal, Robert is joined again by the Internet's Seanbaby and they continue to discuss Steven Seagal who is an actual monster.
    Original Air Date: October 18, 2018
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    There’s a reason the History Channel has produced hundreds of documentaries about Hitler but only a few about Dwight D. Eisenhower. Bad guys (and gals) are eternally fascinating. Behind the Bastards dives in past the Cliffs Notes of the worst humans in history and exposes the bizarre realities of their lives. Listeners will learn about the young adult novels that helped Hitler form his monstrous ideology, the founder of Blackwater’s insane quest to build his own Air Force, the bizarre lives of the sons and daughters of dictators and Saddam Hussein’s side career as a trashy romance novelist.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 127

  • @panonymousbloom5405
    @panonymousbloom5405 Рік тому +85

    I would PAY to see:
    1. Putin having to sit through an entire Seagal performance for the first time.
    2. Obama's face upon receiving a "yeah put Steven fucking Seagal in government position".

    • @redjirachi1
      @redjirachi1 2 місяці тому +3

      Putin having to sit down through an entire Seagal performance is realistically the closet amount of karma we can expect the dictator to face in his life.

  • @delusionnnnn
    @delusionnnnn 2 місяці тому +9

    The audience cheering when Steven Seagal's character got killed was my experience, too. It wasn't a lusty standing ovation or anything, but there were a number of people clapping and laughing, and I was one of them. I didn't realize he was in the movie until the opening credits, and I definitely groaned with disappointment, so the death scene was an unexpected gift.

  • @NarffetWerlz
    @NarffetWerlz 6 місяців тому +56

    From the moment the song started I felt the wind escape my lungs as if a aikido chop had crushed them. My nethers felt obliterated as if by a judo kick. I felt the life escape my body as if it were gunned down by karate.
    At that point, I understood Seagal. I _was_ Seagal. I had myself become a reincarnation of something Buddhish. 10/10 album of the year every year since it released no I wasn't paid $70000 for this because the check bounced.

  • @moorejim13
    @moorejim13 9 місяців тому +24

    The snippet of “blues” music they played literally pissed me off, like this man doesn’t know what the fuck he is doing at all.

  • @fedos
    @fedos 11 місяців тому +43

    Joe Arpaio and Steven Seagal are like the worst cop team up I can imagine.

    • @trifontrifonov4297
      @trifontrifonov4297 3 місяці тому +4

      And ironically one of them is not a cop anymore and the other should not be a cop.

  • @Dradeeus
    @Dradeeus 10 місяців тому +31

    "It's like if you randomized once in a character creator and just went with it." lmao

  • @ripvanwinkle6940
    @ripvanwinkle6940 10 місяців тому +44

    I have chickens. There is not a single container, bucket, reservoir designed by god or man that they will not find a way to shit inside of.

  • @lindsayruiz
    @lindsayruiz 10 місяців тому +49

    "The stolen valor equivalent of a Native American" 💀

    • @Saturn_dragonsillydog
      @Saturn_dragonsillydog 9 місяців тому +1

      ¿¿Stealing Valor...is same as Faking to be a 1stNation, Nishnawbe, Native (North & S. American)??
      Is that what you're stating?

    • @platedlizard
      @platedlizard 8 місяців тому +10

      @@Saturn_dragonsillydogyeah Steven fakes being a Native American. He isn’t, but pretends he is. It’s pretty gross

    • @thejason755
      @thejason755 2 дні тому

      @@platedlizardyeah, like my gf’s indigenous and i wouldn’t dream of passing myself off as native because of it. It’s mega gross, and it surprises me he doesn’t get pushback on it every-time he’s interviewed.

  • @JamesWho1
    @JamesWho1 Рік тому +66

    That Strut song is hilarious wtf was he thinking 🤣🤣🤣😂😂

    • @KYurbanHOMESTEADINg
      @KYurbanHOMESTEADINg Рік тому +13

      Imean it passes for well-produced Dancehall but still whatever guys still sociopath.

    • @hunterapena
      @hunterapena Рік тому +16

      And they said he can't do comedy

    • @erikrungemadsen2081
      @erikrungemadsen2081 9 місяців тому +5

      And remember this guy is a reincarnated Llama.

    • @JackgarPrime
      @JackgarPrime 6 місяців тому +5

      He was thinking about poonani

    • @HarryDirtay
      @HarryDirtay 3 місяці тому +2

      ​@@KYurbanHOMESTEADINgit was supposed to be the blues, not give people the blues😂

  • @Theslimslayer
    @Theslimslayer 11 місяців тому +30

    I swear, the part about his “Blues music expertise” is the funniest thing I’ve heard in so long

    • @woahblackbetty7691
      @woahblackbetty7691 9 місяців тому +10

      Steven claimed in a reddit AMA that he learned to play guitar in an "all black blues band in the 60s in Detroit" 😂 😂 wtf

    • @GlenGarcia1961
      @GlenGarcia1961 9 місяців тому

      @@woahblackbetty7691

  • @Axioanarchist
    @Axioanarchist 10 місяців тому +19

    As a former AZ resident, i will look forward to your episode on Arpaio.

  • @CooleyHigh20
    @CooleyHigh20 Рік тому +35

    I had to pause at Strut I almost died laughing in the car 😂

    • @CC-vl7tf
      @CC-vl7tf Рік тому +14

      I laughed so hard in the office that a coworker came by because she was worried I was crying

    • @erikrungemadsen2081
      @erikrungemadsen2081 9 місяців тому +8

      @@CC-vl7tfif you told your coworker you were listening to Steven Segals blues record. They had reason to worry.

    • @mattpatasnik1195
      @mattpatasnik1195 Місяць тому

      It definitely was something...

  • @davidblank420
    @davidblank420 2 місяці тому +4

    "I cant believe its not Buddha." That wss fuckin great.

  • @pennywaldrip3774
    @pennywaldrip3774 3 місяці тому +5

    Best title for the proposed "Steve Segal is a reincarnation of a lama and he must be stopped" movie: Above the Lama

  • @JacobGunner
    @JacobGunner 7 місяців тому +16

    ... I physically stopped moving or a second in utter shock over that "blues music"

  • @jdrvargo287
    @jdrvargo287 Місяць тому +4

    26:42 Oh my God, that song😂

  • @ohnoagremlin
    @ohnoagremlin 10 місяців тому +28

    odd to add but if the dude (who steven attacked with a tank) was breeding chickens for show he probably only had a few roosters, most show categories involve hens. so steve saw 100 hens and a handful of stud roosters and knew he'd be uncovering a whole cartel

    • @trevfindley5704
      @trevfindley5704 10 місяців тому +14

      Reading this comment at 20mins in, lets me know that I'm in for a wild ride with this podcast...

  • @cousinted
    @cousinted 6 днів тому +1

    That line about Steven Seagal basically being an action movie villain in real life is really spot on. Think about it, he:
    -Is a big, bloated guy with an evil-looking goatee who is constantly covered in a layer of sweat
    -Is also a textbook narcissist, to the point of being completely detached from reality.
    -Claims to be a skilled martial arts expert of the highest caliber but by all accounts is a complete paper tiger who could be taken down by someone with even passing competence in fighting.
    -Accused of multiple incidents of sexual assault.
    -Has no sense of humor and, in fact, does not seem to understand what humor is.
    -Has powerful connections to the mob, law enforcement and numerous dictators.
    -Even has diplomatic immunity like the villain in Lethal Weapon II
    I'm just waiting for the day when a news story drops that Seagal died after being kicked through a window at the top of a skyscraper by a loose canon cop who plays by his own rules.

  • @EBannion
    @EBannion 10 місяців тому +33

    "Weird how he went hard right" I mean not really, they're the side of rape apologists and that's kinda his main thing I think.

    • @d3nza482
      @d3nza482 10 місяців тому +1

      No need to even go there. SS is a poster child for toxic masculinity, a narcissist AND a pathological liar.
      It would have been amazing had he not ended up palling about with dictators.

  • @robertbensch7748
    @robertbensch7748 3 місяці тому +1

    OMG this is one of those stories that just get wilder and wilder the longer it goes on.

  • @patrickmitchell9068
    @patrickmitchell9068 Рік тому +27

    I got too ask, why the fuck was he playing police in lousiana?

    • @makeitthrough_
      @makeitthrough_ 11 місяців тому +20

      Because he found a police force dumb enough to indulge him (which, tbf, probably wasn't that hard)

    • @miguelvelez7221
      @miguelvelez7221 10 місяців тому

      ​@@makeitthrough_Not dumb. Incredibly corrupt. When a gator filled swamp is a twenty minute drive it's easy to disappear whomever you want. Not too different from our Western USA, Nevada, New Mexico, Arizona, places where miles and miles of nothing around is a short trip from any good sized town or city and this a great place to put a body no one will ever find, which cops take advantage of.

    • @ghintz2156
      @ghintz2156 8 місяців тому +3

      ​@@makeitthrough_Harry Lee LOOOOVED getting attention.

  • @iguanaboi3921
    @iguanaboi3921 4 місяці тому +3

    Driving a tank into someones house sounds like a family guy bit

    • @robertbensch7748
      @robertbensch7748 3 місяці тому

      TBH everything about Seagull sounds like it's possibly in Family Guy.

  • @popeyefeline7904
    @popeyefeline7904 Рік тому +20

    Just listened to Part 1 glad I didn't have to wait long for Part 2! Thank you!

    • @SgtKaneGunlock
      @SgtKaneGunlock Рік тому +1

      they just started uploading these to youtube

  • @PreDatoR1873
    @PreDatoR1873 10 місяців тому +4

    I was crying. The bloody chicken. Ffs Steven. 😂😂😂

  • @mrcritical6751
    @mrcritical6751 11 місяців тому +20

    Ok seriously, how is Seagal not in jail?

    • @snorpenbass4196
      @snorpenbass4196 10 місяців тому +1

      Mob connections, and when they finally abandoned him he ran to Russia, then went to the kind of place that would accept a traitor working for Russia - Conservative Rural America!

    • @justcommenting4981
      @justcommenting4981 10 місяців тому +19

      What cell could hold him?

    • @woahblackbetty7691
      @woahblackbetty7691 9 місяців тому +15

      He got put in jail but had A key do

    • @michaeldougherty6036
      @michaeldougherty6036 25 днів тому

      He's in Russia, and has been for some time. I saw a clip of him at Putin's latest shit show of a coronation. Seagal looks even fatter and weirder than ever.

  • @wolfgangsow3300
    @wolfgangsow3300 8 місяців тому +7

    "Reincarnage" would be a fitting title 😄

  • @ihatedre
    @ihatedre Рік тому +19

    Just discovered this podcast and it is amazing!
    I can already say I will be an avid subscriber!
    I just hope that Mr Steven Seagal doesn't read this and come after me 🐦🐧🕊🦅🦆🦢🦉🦤

  • @RustyShackleford101
    @RustyShackleford101 2 місяці тому +2

    Steven Segal's singing sounds like a stroke victim falling down all the stairs of the Empire State Building......

  • @patchso
    @patchso 4 місяці тому +2

    “A remarkable piece of shit.” I’ve got nothing else to add.

  • @rosskuhlman
    @rosskuhlman 9 місяців тому +5

    42:08 Flopdong has been my screen name in games since like 2005, sorry boys its taken

  • @stinky9067
    @stinky9067 Рік тому +20

    Is that a Steven seagal impersonation or a Batman impersonation? Trick question it's the same person

  • @poeticalvision
    @poeticalvision Рік тому +8

    ate the willy wonka gum LOL

  • @davidblank420
    @davidblank420 2 місяці тому +1

    When youre katamaring some Damacy and its mentioned in a pod. I thought noone else knew 😂

  • @RXbee2
    @RXbee2 Рік тому +10

    The rooster story sounded like a Segal story. 😲

  • @Tha_Pencil
    @Tha_Pencil 3 місяці тому +3

    Sex with seagal must be so disgusting I feel practically traumatized just listening to that

  • @mathewperring
    @mathewperring 5 місяців тому +2

    The theatre I was in cheered when Seigal got sucked out of the plane, but Steven wasn't there.

  • @shmehfleh3115
    @shmehfleh3115 9 місяців тому +4

    Didn't Seagal have a bromance with Kim Jong Un, too?

  • @snoopyolsey
    @snoopyolsey 9 місяців тому +3

    That widow's peak Steven Seagal has is not even real. I used to have a real 1 myself. But, it faded away with age :(

  • @VooshSpokesman
    @VooshSpokesman 28 днів тому +1

    Love from a Xanderhal and Vaush fan!

  • @AfricanLionBat
    @AfricanLionBat 11 місяців тому +5

    This was awesome. Just subscribed. How are you so criminally under subscribed?

  • @rainyfeathers9148
    @rainyfeathers9148 Місяць тому

    I saw a pig turn around, scratch it's bum on the edge of its troff then turn back around to continue eating. I said 'Ras, whe' me 'ijab, dem dutty eeeeee?'🤦🏾‍♀😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @mahtimonni97
    @mahtimonni97 3 місяці тому +2

    I *desperately* want to see Steven Seagal try to do an adaptation of a Jane Austen story. That would be the most offensive, yet hilarious thing ever.

  • @kealunleday3948
    @kealunleday3948 4 місяці тому +3

    A 40 min fart🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @emuman09
    @emuman09 Рік тому +7

    This is cool I just wish it wasn't so quiet

  • @thejason755
    @thejason755 2 дні тому

    The story about steven chasing that woman with the gun the flashlight really begs the question of if he would have shot her if he caught her? Thankfully we’ll never know, but it’s the first place my brain went when i heard it.

  • @redjirachi1
    @redjirachi1 2 місяці тому

    11:26-My question is when did that start? Who do we have to go back in time and eliminate to remove these societal evils?

  • @peterhoff6776
    @peterhoff6776 2 місяці тому

    Fullerton CA is the home of Fender Guitars, so there were absolutely high caliber guitar players of various genres passing through there. There was also a fair amount of metalwork going on in the area. More aluminum rather than steel, due to the Hughs Aircraft Company facility (later Boeing), and there was a big aluminum plant just over the hill in Corona. I don't know what that workforce looked like, but there was plenty of migration from the South to SoCal (as Prop has talked about).
    Anyway, just saying that part of Seagal's story is slightly less implausible than Robert presented it.

  • @nizloc4118
    @nizloc4118 Рік тому +9

    I mean Seagal did a bunch of stupid shit, I guess. But he got these two to talk about Fullerton and our Steel Mills for a minute. So I'll give him that.

  • @TheSynthisis
    @TheSynthisis 14 днів тому

    Gonna have to go with Steven Segals on that first issue since they're all Steven Segal.

  • @jliveless5854
    @jliveless5854 10 місяців тому

    Cool video..

  • @11myricka
    @11myricka 8 місяців тому +1

    ROBERT YOU LIVED IN THE CHICKEN HOUSE IN ARCATA? WE WERE NEIGHBORS

  • @hillside21
    @hillside21 Рік тому +5

    Coming soon: _Sheriff Ironside defeats the Ukraine!_

  • @jerkfudgewater147
    @jerkfudgewater147 5 місяців тому

    43:00 good lord

  • @throatgorge2
    @throatgorge2 10 місяців тому

    Researching the Blues? Was Steven Segal in Redd Kross?

  • @kidkous
    @kidkous 26 днів тому

    Tina Turner was an SGI Buddhist it is a Japanese Pureland offshoot not connected to Tibetan or DL

  • @CynthiaMcG
    @CynthiaMcG 4 місяці тому

    If only his previous incarnation was a Bhottisadva.

  • @JokeDeity2
    @JokeDeity2 11 місяців тому

    Robert Evans sometimes sounds like Amir Blumenfeld.

  • @ThatGuyW3s
    @ThatGuyW3s 10 місяців тому +13

    "To be fair he's only executed drug users" is the worst thing that any guest has said on this podcast

  • @TheDarthbinky
    @TheDarthbinky 5 місяців тому

    If I didn't listen to part I, does that make me a bastard worthy of my own episode?

  • @jfu5222
    @jfu5222 3 місяці тому

    I compare Steven Segal's running to Katie Sagal in the role of Peg from Married With Children.
    Edit: No offense intended to Katie.

  • @bustercherry8734
    @bustercherry8734 4 місяці тому +1

    When titling these vids, you should really have the "part 2" or whatever after what the vid is about.

  • @oscaranderson5719
    @oscaranderson5719 7 місяців тому +2

    finally, my time to shine! ahem- tanks and armored vehicles are classified by role, a tank’s role is to act semi-independently to assault targets. an armored vehicle can (and nowadays most do) have a turret and even hold their ground against tanks, but due to lighter arms/armor are less effective on the assault so are used to deploy and support infantry. this role matches police duties much better, also from the ones I’ve peeped the military will remove the turret before selling to them.
    also also treads tear up the road so police armored vehicles are usually wheeled. they still fuck up the road but a little less.

  • @daniellundberg2875
    @daniellundberg2875 10 місяців тому +1

    His name is not Pewtin

  • @HardCodedGaming
    @HardCodedGaming 5 місяців тому

    Honestly that Ukraine story around the 1-hour mark makes me feel better about the US having so many military wannabes. 😅

  • @agentorange81
    @agentorange81 9 місяців тому

    If he met the devil at the crossroads, i doubt the devil made that deal , he's purgatory bound , you cant return to sender enternally , i doubt even purgatory has an opening...

  • @stevenwortrich6014
    @stevenwortrich6014 4 місяці тому

    Who paints his hair on, everyday?

  • @play-dohsallegory3368
    @play-dohsallegory3368 9 місяців тому

    I will not stand for this slander of David Rakoff.

  • @MightyThorngren
    @MightyThorngren 5 місяців тому

    Why is there no visuals even when talking about pulling them up?

  • @Saturn_dragonsillydog
    @Saturn_dragonsillydog 9 місяців тому

    Segal is really pronounced "SEA-GULL". St. SeaGull changed the pronunciation. True.

    • @platedlizard
      @platedlizard 8 місяців тому

      Yeah they covered that in Part 1

  • @HarryDirtay
    @HarryDirtay 3 місяці тому

    Chris Kyle was a chronic liar. His memoir was full of bullshit stories, but ao was the movie about his life, and his PTSD treatment regiment which consisted of drinking and shooting guns . 😂

  • @robertnovich4137
    @robertnovich4137 5 місяців тому

    Its like Steven Sagall has eaten all other versions of Steven Sagal, so there can be only One Steven Sagal....
    Even better tbet, in a straight action movie, Liam Neeson also did the original Darkman...and did better action scenes.

  • @havanaradio
    @havanaradio 10 місяців тому

    Why is this so soft

  • @jordinagel1184
    @jordinagel1184 9 місяців тому +1

    “And ‘Asian’ is capitalized”
    … Yes, that’s how it works in English. Not sure why you felt the need to mention that.

    • @tonpear5909
      @tonpear5909 6 місяців тому

      I don't have access to the quote he read but I assumed he meant it was stylized as "ASIAN", as if to emphasize how awesome Seagal's Asian-ness was. My assumption is based on my impression that Robert the host (as well as Sean the guest who joined in the laughter) is pretty sharp.

    • @perhaps1094
      @perhaps1094 3 місяці тому

      I think they meant in all caps

    • @delusionnnnn
      @delusionnnnn 2 місяці тому

      That threw me, too, I had to double check my style guides to see if there was a major style guide not recommending names of continents be capitalized. I think consistency is more important than which guide you use, even if you use a combination or idiosyncratic personal system (as I do, largely based on Chicago). But, yeah, they probably actually did mean "ASIAN" rather than "Asian" because Steven Seagal is a mysticism-spouting orientalist racist dummy.

  • @ghintz2156
    @ghintz2156 8 місяців тому +1

    Wait...are you saying "Jefferson Paris"? We have ParisHes, not Parises...I mean, we're pretty French in this state, but we don't name our counties after the capital of France lol.

    • @tonpear5909
      @tonpear5909 6 місяців тому

      Some people say Jefferson Parish is quite Parisian.

  • @AfricanLionBat
    @AfricanLionBat 11 місяців тому +5

    The Ukraine war isn't a civil war

    • @origami_dream
      @origami_dream 9 місяців тому +12

      He's talking about the Maidan Revolution. As he says quite clearly at the start. Also called the Revolution of Dignity. Which... yeah, was a civil war, if it was any kind of war. Calling it a civil war might be disputed because calling it a war might be, but it was an act of armed, violent revolution against the government by its citizens, and violent repression of its citizens by that government, so definitely could count.
      He was *not* talking about the Russia-Ukraine War when he uses the term "civil war." Which he also makes clear is not a civil war when they transition to talking about that, saying how it's an invasion, by Russian occupiers, and about Ukraine maintaining sovereignty.
      So... yep, you're technically correct, i guess, well done. But also maybe listen closer.
      Also, it may be worth noting this was recorded in 2018. So while the Russia-Ukraine War was in a sense happening, the full-scale invasion wasn't at the time (though the occupation of Ukrainian territory had been for years and Russia was waging technological warfare and attempting to undermine their democracy [among others]).

  • @RXbee2
    @RXbee2 Рік тому +3

    About those impressions....lol Perhaps stop? 😆 🤣 😂 😹

    • @jonstarnes7905
      @jonstarnes7905 Рік тому +28

      No! They're the best part!

    • @HarryDirtay
      @HarryDirtay 3 місяці тому +1

      It's a defense mechanism, like smiling so you don't vomit😂

  • @Countraccoonula
    @Countraccoonula Місяць тому +3

    I had to listen to that song again just to really grasp that it exists. I've heard it before but sometimes I forget we live in silent hill. Steven is pyramid head