So insightful! My mom was definitely overwhelmed and no one seemed to recognize it or have solutions or approaches. She just went months between baths. Rapport, validations, familiarity and sufficient time were always in short supply with staff. Permission was completely illusive. Curiosity and questions are excellent tips. Your ideas about data, processing, being supportive are really helpful. Apologizing goes such a long way to diffuse tension. Relating - 'I forget and make mistakes sometimes.' Your words at the end about liking something about the person are challenging. Sometimes that can be the hard part... Obligation and caring, I understand. Liking can be much harder at certain stages.
If you are a caregiver, it's easy to feel very vulnerable yourself. When your loved one hasn't been themselves for a long time, it can almost be like a different person. When you see glimpses of them again it is like witnessing a miracle filled with happy and sad. Anger is a natural response at times. With my mom, I looked after her in her more advanced stages. I loved her like my own child. With my husband, I have a harder time because I have to go through each step of the decline leading up to the worst. He is not kind anymore. He is short tempered. He does very frustrating things. Under normal circumstances, those are not the qualities I would choose in a partner. That's what is hard to like. @@danielrivera4304
Thank you ladies, both of you for taking your time & doing this! I work with the elderly, at a non dementia ward - but at least 10 out of 14 clients do have some type of dementia. The worst part is how you always feel like you aren't doing anything right. When you can't calm them down or guve them any comfort.. I have a client who has lost her sight. She hallucinates A LOT. like she sits on her chair by the table & screaming for help & "no" bcs she is seeing a little boy walking out on thin ice. She think she is walking on high cliffs & will fall down a ravine. It's terrible when she is so anxious.. Sometimes it helps to say that we are inside but thats not that often. I don't like to give medications like benzos bcs they will have the increased risk of her falling for days afterwards, when her legs turns to spaghetti.. One man hallucinates & sees cats, well thats nice, so i dont correct him on that. But he also sees snakes eating the cats & people outside the window torturing the cats.. thats harder. I do have noticed how much your voice can do. Talking calmly to them can work like magic.. your mood will affect them right away. The lady is scared to walk so sometimes instead of walking with her i push her in her chair to her room & say whiiiiii & she LOVES it.. she starts to giggle so hard. But it's terrible when they are so agitated no matter what you do.. I hate it when nothing you do helps..
Everybody working with people with dementia should watch this video, so spot on and full of info. I hope UA-cam pushes this video! Just wanted to add one thing: I have realized over the years working in nursing homes, how common child sexual abuse and sexual assaults are, and it is the reason for many behaviors and much depression. People have gone through a lot in their lives, even if they never talk about it, because it is not something people used to talk about.
Most of this is based on someone who is able to communicate effectively WITH DEMENTIA. When verbal expression is limited a lot of what you've recommended is diminished. When they say no to so much, to which they don't necessarily FEEL no but their brain takes them there for various reasons. Sometimes it's exercising choice, sometimes it's an attempt to communicate something they can't access the proper way to express, sometimes they aren't connected to WHY they're saying no. Creative ways to give them incentive when they aren't connected to reason are needed. Suggestions? Ideas? Examples like aversions to water, or thinking they aren't dirty, can cause them to be very combative. My mom can become aggressively combative regarding getting clean. If they aren't able to help, participate, be involved with much... or if they are at a facility that limits them extremely as to what is available to them, options are restricted. Suggestions?
I always complimented my mother when she got clean and how great she looked. I let her pick out her clothes and comb her hair. Tell her we could go outside and it is sunny. But I need to wash up and get dressed, too. Sometimes it's better to not hover over them. Act like that person has control, not take it from them.
Must people with Alzheimer's be discussed like things? Every time I listen to these helpers I feel degraded. I am a thing that has to be tricked. Also, our ability to respond is slowed, it does not indicate we don't remember you or things. We are still human. It doesn't hurt to use a warm washcloth instead of standing in a shower. It breaks my heart.
Here's 2 FREE dementia cheatsheets for acitivies and what to do w/ challenging behaviors, download @ dementiasuccesspath.com/yt-cs
Teepa is SO fantastic! And I appreciate you very much for creating this channel.
So insightful!
My mom was definitely overwhelmed and no one seemed to recognize it or have solutions or approaches. She just went months between baths. Rapport, validations, familiarity and sufficient time were always in short supply with staff. Permission was completely illusive.
Curiosity and questions are excellent tips. Your ideas about data, processing, being supportive are really helpful. Apologizing goes such a long way to diffuse tension. Relating - 'I forget and make mistakes sometimes.'
Your words at the end about liking something about the person are challenging. Sometimes that can be the hard part... Obligation and caring, I understand. Liking can be much harder at certain stages.
Those last words were the ones that hit me the hardest.
If you are a caregiver, it's easy to feel very vulnerable yourself. When your loved one hasn't been themselves for a long time, it can almost be like a different person. When you see glimpses of them again it is like witnessing a miracle filled with happy and sad. Anger is a natural response at times. With my mom, I looked after her in her more advanced stages. I loved her like my own child. With my husband, I have a harder time because I have to go through each step of the decline leading up to the worst. He is not kind anymore. He is short tempered. He does very frustrating things. Under normal circumstances, those are not the qualities I would choose in a partner. That's what is hard to like. @@danielrivera4304
Thank you ladies, both of you for taking your time & doing this!
I work with the elderly, at a non dementia ward - but at least 10 out of 14 clients do have some type of dementia.
The worst part is how you always feel like you aren't doing anything right. When you can't calm them down or guve them any comfort..
I have a client who has lost her sight. She hallucinates A LOT. like she sits on her chair by the table & screaming for help & "no" bcs she is seeing a little boy walking out on thin ice.
She think she is walking on high cliffs & will fall down a ravine.
It's terrible when she is so anxious..
Sometimes it helps to say that we are inside but thats not that often.
I don't like to give medications like benzos bcs they will have the increased risk of her falling for days afterwards, when her legs turns to spaghetti..
One man hallucinates & sees cats, well thats nice, so i dont correct him on that.
But he also sees snakes eating the cats & people outside the window torturing the cats.. thats harder.
I do have noticed how much your voice can do. Talking calmly to them can work like magic.. your mood will affect them right away.
The lady is scared to walk so sometimes instead of walking with her i push her in her chair to her room & say whiiiiii & she LOVES it.. she starts to giggle so hard.
But it's terrible when they are so agitated no matter what you do..
I hate it when nothing you do helps..
Everybody working with people with dementia should watch this video, so spot on and full of info. I hope UA-cam pushes this video!
Just wanted to add one thing: I have realized over the years working in nursing homes, how common child sexual abuse and sexual assaults are, and it is the reason for many behaviors and much depression. People have gone through a lot in their lives, even if they never talk about it, because it is not something people used to talk about.
Most of this is based on someone who is able to communicate effectively WITH DEMENTIA. When verbal expression is limited a lot of what you've recommended is diminished. When they say no to so much, to which they don't necessarily FEEL no but their brain takes them there for various reasons. Sometimes it's exercising choice, sometimes it's an attempt to communicate something they can't access the proper way to express, sometimes they aren't connected to WHY they're saying no. Creative ways to give them incentive when they aren't connected to reason are needed. Suggestions? Ideas? Examples like aversions to water, or thinking they aren't dirty, can cause them to be very combative. My mom can become aggressively combative regarding getting clean. If they aren't able to help, participate, be involved with much... or if they are at a facility that limits them extremely as to what is available to them, options are restricted. Suggestions?
I always complimented my mother when she got clean and how great she looked. I let her pick out her clothes and comb her hair. Tell her we could go outside and it is sunny.
But I need to wash up and get dressed, too.
Sometimes it's better to not hover over them. Act like that person has control, not take it from them.
depends on the stage...
I'm gutted I missed this live. You're fantastic!
SOOO very useful info here! THANK YOU!!!!!!
Excellent video! Thank you
❤…The wisdom God has given is like Gold😊
❤my nana is 95 smart idea , my auntie has a hard time I ann man useing you’re methods my nana comes s dwn ur right
Yes, my mom
Yes
Must people with Alzheimer's be discussed like things? Every time I listen to these helpers I feel degraded. I am a thing that has to be tricked. Also, our ability to respond is slowed, it does not indicate we don't remember you or things. We are still human. It doesn't hurt to use a warm washcloth instead of standing in a shower.
It breaks my heart.
Spray them with a garden hose or pressure washer