Finding Your True Self in Cyberspace
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- Опубліковано 27 чер 2021
- In celebration of summer and Pride month we take a very personal journey into cyberspace and explore how games like Final Fantasy XIV can help queer people by providing safe spaces, community and opportunities for self-expression. Get ready to find out who you truly are, because we're jacking in!
Special thanks for providing your voices!
@pimscrypt
@CodexEntry
@AdequateEmily
@ThatJess
Aranock - / @aranock
PATREON: / transparens
TWITTER: / transparencyboo
#FinalFantasyXIV #MMORPG #Cyberspace - Ігри
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I had an all-girls night in the desolate ruins of the 1986 online game Habitat, how's your summer going?
FFXIV was the first time I played a male character, a miqo'te. I had been bottling up my dysphoria for years at that point, but running around as a catman really helped me "see" myself post-transition. I finally could comes to terms with what I wanted out of my body and my life.
Nice, friend! Glad you could have an experience like that too! :)
i don't play mmos, but i can definitely relate to the gender performance through games thing. it's why i play dress up games
It's a fun time! Animal Crossing is probably our favorite for this, haha.
Pffft people intuitively referring to me as a girl online and that feeling absolutely awesome was a major factor in me figuring out that I was one of those myself.
Like I literally kept track of how many people had referred to me which way and was happy to see girl% increase and then eventually thought "Wait hold on why is this a thing." So I went digging, insert egshell shattering noises here.
The girl% run is a legit speedrun in these games for sure. Glad you could find these worlds useful too! :)
@@Transparencyboo Oh, slight miscommunication on my part there, I've always found the stories of MMOS underwhelming and been too socially anxious to engage with the people. I just had a very similar experience on online forums.
“Gay Rome wasn’t built in a day.” might be my new favorite line across the whole channel. Marvelous work here, Alicia! Absolutely reeled me in for each second of the entire runtime!!
When I came up with that I laughed!
This was phenomenal, glad my voice is in it! When I was younger I was so terrified of people realising something about me that I always played men, but I liked playing elves who were super androgynous. When I played WoW I had a blood elf hunter and later an undead death knight, who I made in a way that was not very gender specific. I somehow did all of this without realising I was trans. Somehow thought "I don't want anyone to realise something about me if I play a girl" and did not comprehend that that thing was that I was trans. Egg moments are weird like that.
Really wish more games had nonbinary options though; I always have to choose a character that does not fit me in some way.
Oh yeah, the non binary option would be nice. I like that more games seem to be stepping into that territory though, Animal Crossing being one of the big ones that doesn't specify gender. Just rad to see you know.
@@Transparencyboo Definitely, things are improving. Would love to see games with more in depth character creators do that as well.
Half the characters I played in City of Heroes/Villains back in the day were women, the other half were androgynous robots, and that combination turned out to be pretty spot on.
Glad you had a positive experience with these kinds of games too! :D
When I was a kid I wanted to play Ultima Online so badly because I read in the manual that I there was a spell that could change my character into a girl. I was too afraid to even think of just making a female character in a multi-player game but if I could at least use this spell in private in the game that was something.
and then i was never allowed to play it and spent a lot of private time sobbing about it.
later I played ragnarok online. a game that asked you your gender when you make your account and locked all your characters to that answer forever. Once I realized this I of course had to make a whole new account so I could play as a female character. This was only the second time in my life I allowed myself to be seen as female in a social environment.
Oh yeah, these kinds of "spells" and even cartoons that have gender swap episodes often seem to have that impact on people. Powerful stuff!
I didn't even know that transgender was a thing or that transition was possible at all until I was in my 20s. Yet I absolutely devoured any media at all that depicted any kind of gender swap and I always did so in secret because I was so ashamed of myself. Hurray for being homeschooled by extremely religious, extremely conservative parents ._ .
@@dontuserachelslurs It is not that uncommon. In general, how are we supposed to know something is even a possibility if we don't have the vocabulary to articulate it, right? I did not quite understand it either until I was in my 20s too, and I was never in any religious home or anything like that. What really turned everything around for me, and gave me the words I needed was going to school reading Social Psychology, haha.
I'm really feeling the lack of nonbinary options and the hurdle of the price of fantasia potions you mention toward the end. after a few years on a dude roegadyn main, I realized some stuff about myself, and I've recently begun the arduous grind of leveling a femroe alt, in hopes that one day I can freely swap between the different the bodies to suit my mood
It is a real bummer, truly. I hope you at least get more happy with the femroe. If I wasn't playing a Lala I would definietly be one!
To some extent, this probably falls into the same category as the weird technical reasons and archaic code that makes it so they couldn't expand the armoury chest or give the bunnies hats. The game is just hardcoded to have two genders. Regardless of any intentions of the developers to change this and make clothes non gendered etc. Almost like it's some sort of reflection of society's systemic issues with binary gender etc. That said, it would be really really cool if they ever did manage to add some nonbinary options.
@@RobinOttens It's hardcoded to have genders - but can't it be hardcoded to have, at least, a third option?
Ohhhh god, biggest mood
Literally the reason I had to quit FFXIV, I kept changing gender so often it was making me go broke lol
I think games that either let you switch gender for free or make it possible to earn recustomization items ingame without spending money are better for enby players.
Tho damn man if they ever made an actual mmo with a real enby option that'd be so rad!!!
I've never been able to express myself in MMO's. I can't separate my real self from the digital one. All my fears and anxieties of interacting with other people are just as strong as IRL. I never understood how people could view it as anonymity. Like, I'm still me. I can't give that anonymity to myself. I wish I knew how.
Gosh, that is a bummer. I am sorry to hear that. I mean maybe, at some point, you'll be able to get there too. If nothing else I hope you have plenty of people around you where you feel you can be yourself genuinly. Either way I wish you all the best, because that kind of anxiety is something no one should ever have to deal with
Oh, this is fine. It is a psychology practice (I prefer to think about it as "combat psychology") right for this issue. In short, you need to make a different character that played aside of yourself.
I can lead for a bit, but it's only up to you.
I get this. >_< I know my actions will have the same impact on people whether they know me or not. They may not be able to clearly associate that impact to me because of the anonymity, but I'll still feel guilty if I make someone uncomfortable.
17:28 how did you get in a comphet relationship when you were in egg
Magic~
It's truly astounding how different people's experiences with MMOs can be. You found a new form of expression, started a relationship, and learned all of these things about yourself. Meanwhile I was in WoW pirate servers, experiencing what the universe would be like if God had given up 15% of the way through creating it, then allowed it to continue existing only as a prison for the most bizarre individuals.
I didn't learn anything.
Anyways, the video is great!
Haha, thanks, we love this comment!
I do literally want to be a potato person in real life.
... me too actually.
My girlfriend shares a name with a breed of potato. That's the closest us real life humans will ever get I'm afraid : (
those are super cool salt shakers
I know right? Very lore heavy salt shakers at that!
I've been watching this channel for months and didn't realize that Alicia is trans. This was a neat way to find out. I myself am fascinated by the way cyberspace allows people to explore aspects of themselves.
Always fun to hear I can sneak under some people's radar, haha :)
I've always disliked subscription based systems so I've always been a solo gamer but I can feel this video steadily pulling my soul to the dark side and I fear what I may soon become
If nothing else the trial gives you plenty of games with very few restrictions - play time not being one of them. So if you really wanna check the game out without any commitment you can.
Your voice is so cute and feminine, and this ws super interesting to listen to as a bi/cisgender gamer who also fell in love with the social fabric of MMORPGs like WoW and FFXIV. My first was WoW and I just remember my mind being blown seeing _real people_ running around a virtual world in real time.
My sister came out as nonbinary recently and this video made me remember being confused that she did not prefer female characters the way I did as a young kid, but later on in life when I was old enough to know her it was just so natural to see her through that androgynous lens because that's how she always chose to represent herself in our games, both in imaginary play and video games. Just by having been her sister gender I feel like girly female norms were not modeled as strictly as my own experience would otherwise have taught me had I grown up with a cis sister, and I'm actually grateful for that.
While I am not Trans, I felt like I could relate due to being bi and being able to use it as a vehicle to explore that in a way I never felt able to manage IRL, as well as due to having a long history of suffering from body dysmorphia and eating disorders, and I have found the ability to socialise in a body I am not self conscious of so freeing. I am so much bolder online not because I'm anonymous, but because its the one space in which my eating disorder or my relationship and relative comfort in my physical body is not relevant, and so I don't have to think about it the way it's always in my head IRL no matter what size I am.
Thank you for the kind words, and for sharing your own thought and feelings of course.
I... This is me. How could this video be about me.
As an older (ok not that old) but recently out trans girl this video makes me so happy, but it's also so frustrating how we can be held back by ourselves.
Final Fantasy XIV broke my shell 5 years ago, and for 5 years I tried to keep it together. Not because I loved being masculine, no, but because I was deathly afraid of being trans. Out of cowardice, lack of self esteem, perhaps even transphobia. I spent a lot of years seeing friends coming out as trans and thinking "that is so awesome!!! But it's not for me..." when it absolutely always was. I could not break the status quo, I couldn't bother my parents or my friends.
FFXIV let me keep the status quo while being myself. It's so funny on retrospect how I thought "I just want to see how I look in girl form!!" or "this is just fantasy, it's so I can like it more" were not absolutely telling signs lol. The fantasia bit rang so true to me, I was so nervous when I changed from a male Au Ra to a female au Ra. Like a genuine sense of euphoria I later felt when I realized I was actually trans. While some friends found it strange at first, since this was not something that out there, everyone just complimented my character and we moved on.
It's so funny how the fact I genuinely blushed at some random someone calling my character cute in a high end raid, or that I never minded being called she in-game all made that shell more and more brittle, but I tried to ignore it.
I'm a high end raider, I enjoy doing difficult content a lot. But this game will never ever be only that for me, it is my safe haven, my place of discovery, still my place to express myself even if I'm out, it's still the world I loved and still love to live in. I love seeing people, I love interacting and it feels even better now to be called she, and while I want to hit my younger self with a cane in their head, I'm still glad all this helped shape me who I am today.
This is very rambly and written on a cellphone so I'm sorry, but this video resonated with me immensely and I needed to get this out. Thank you so much for making it and making it so personal.
Ely is very cute, and we love her.
The shot of your character on Fenrir with sunglases and a smug look is perfection not fit for this world.
As a big fan of FF14, I found this to be an absolutely delightful video. I personally enjoy playing as a female Au Ra character in the game, not because I am trans or because I hate looking at man butt, but simply because I get a kick out of playing as cute girls. That said, it's wonderful to see FF14 and other MMOs play a part in allowing people to not only express themselves, but learn about who they truly are,. which was made evident in your personal journey which was great to see.
Cute girls are indeed good, you are very correct. And thanks for the kind words about Ely, haha!
I'm finding this channel a little late, but I love this video. The insights into MMOs and the possibilities. I absolutely explored my identity in online MMOs. World of Warcraft at first, and now more recently FFXIV. And I had the exact same experience. I started with a male character and was just like "eh.." But then I rerolled a female character and it just felt so right. Everything you described about going back to the game to be "me" and explore my identity sounds so relatable. Separating my real life world as a man, an my online world where i woman for so many years. And also like you, discovering FFXIV changed everything :) As well as being a good game all around, I've loved the community there!
Better late than never as they say, haha. I am so glad to hear others sharing these similar feelings. I suppose it makes us all feel a little bit less alone in the world, and I guess that goes well together with the possibilities with virtual worlds in general. :)
Not an MMO, but I really felt the effects of that fantasia potion barrier with the Character Edit Voucher that was eventually provided in Monster Hunter: World. I had made this increasingly-effeminate male character and generally committed to the Pink Rathian set and whatever were the cutest armor options (though I wouldn't admit it at the time). Then suddenly one of the updates gave players a free Character Edit Voucher--the only means to change a character's gender despite early access to character edits up to that point--and suddenly it was like I'd been given this magical opportunity, but one I couldn't take back.
I felt like I couldn't waste the voucher in any way despite having the option to invest in another one. At the time it seemed like a lot of commitment to undo what could have ultimately been a mistake. While dealing with this sudden awareness to a disconnect with my character I found myself less enthusiastic to go on hunts or join other players' missions. I did try making a new character (male again and even more effeminate) thinking that I could just fix things by experimenting with new builds and playstyles from the early game onward, but it didn't work. I tried a third time, but by that point I was burnt out from playing alone and decided to stop playing altogether. In retrospect it's kind of funny that being given the option to do something which would enhance my experience with the game was ultimately what pulled me away from it.
Anyways, this was just a bit of a rant. Great video as always
That is real interesting, I loved that rant! A+ rant for sure! Thank you for sharing, glad you enjoyed the video! :)
Always nice to hear how MMOs have affected people's lives. But I'm still like "Ugh... MMOs..."
One day we'll get you!
MMO requires some stuff to be powerful toy.
First of all - you need to have a safe space, wehere you'll be safe to act like you want.
For the first time, you'll be yourself. You'll try to act like you want. And only after that you'll find wilder options of virtual worlds.
BTW, youtube comments is close to be kind of ol'good forum text-based MMO game.
I think my problem with MMOs have been the gameplay. I just don't find them that engaging or exciting to play.
And on social aspects they have mirrored real life. Solitary.
@@MrRaivokasMagma > I just don't find them that engaging or exciting to play.
Engaging and excitement are based on your thoughts, so it's probably you also have IRL issues with motivation.
Can it be thing of "I need to be better for others" kind of thoughts?
In my expirience, "I can't rest because it's not everything done" may be issue too, but it may be tail of "I need be not that bad and while I'm not that good - I can't afford rest".
@@genybr When I think of what "daily games" I've played past ten years or so, Path of Exile, Vermintide and Warframe, I started thinking what makes them exciting and engaging to play? All three have something satisfying in them. Path of Exile the rush of creating a powerful character through complex interactions is satisfying, when you mow down horded of ever increasing challenges. Vermintide has very good combat, especially melee, that is satisfying and charming characters. Warframe is a thrill even on monotonous grind, when movement is so good and I've managed to keep always something to do.
No MMO hasn't really scratched that "satisfying" for me. Maybe it's nature of how they must be built? I don't know?
I am a simple man, I see ffxiv and queerness, I stop what I'm doing for the next 49 minutes to watch 👀
Hope you enjoy!
@@Transparencyboo I did indeed! 49 minutes well spent xD it made me think about my own xiv character and how I express myself through him ^^ your point about how you play a lala bc smol and cute made me realise that perhaps I’m so attached to my catboy bc as an autistic person I have trouble reading body language, but a twitch of those big miqo’te ears or a swish of a tail is much more readable and expressive to me. So, thanks for that little revelation I guess xD
@@nateahara That is really interesting! Gosh I love that stuff, haha.
just wanted to express my enjoyment for your work in comment form to boost the algorithm! I've been binging all of your essays haha. thank you!
Ah, thank you! Hope you are enjoying the binge! :)
As someone who plays as their transition goals in ff14, I thank you for this video
Aw, thank you too! We believe in you!
i remember as a kid, i asked my dad why people play as women in games despite being men. i was mainly asking this for myself. why do *i* do that? though i also wondered if my dads reasoning would help me see a new light. and his answer was literally what you said your friends said lol. "well sometimes you need something nice to look at if you're playing a game for several hours"
this sorta confused me as a kid, but i adopted that as the true reason. "i just thought women looked pretty" i was too naive to realize that i didn't play women cause i liked the look, i played women because i identified better with them. i had female friends because i felt more comfortable around them, and i adopted female usernames not because i was just playing fun, but because i felt more like myself.
i'm glad that i found this video. for ages i felt me "being trans because as a kid i played female videogame characters, and had female friends" wasn't a valid reason, though, now i see that it probably is. thank you very much.
Aw, you're very much welcome! I am glad you found your way here and that we could validate you a bit :)
So many female characters in so many MMOs (including FF14) was in hindsight a sign I really should have taken more seriously, and considering those experiences in hindsight has been a rich source of insight on where to take things in my real life now. This was a great summary of how much it can mean and your experiences definitely resonate 💜
Glad it did, Athiette! Thank you
I feel like I was rickrolled at 2:50
This video was really interesting! I also play FFXIV, though mainly from a single player perspective (the game is uniquely frustrating in that I think it's both the best and worst game I've ever played), but once in Brayflox's Longstop the healer said they were arguing with their friend if I was a catboy or catgirl and asked which one I was, and I distinctly felt as if I won the game at that moment. I cannot argue that I've also used this game as gendered performance.
In terms of single player content, the game kind of weirdly dances around queerness with Aymeric and the Exarch having PrEtTy ClEaR crushes on you regardless of gender. The game also follows in the footsteps of FFXIII by having a story that feels both meaningfully and emotionally queer and also like blatant queerbating with the Eden raids. At the same time I can say with minimal irony that Tonberries are now gay icons so I can't complain too much.
Ah, yeah, the story itself is hard to play together with others. I mean I personally enjoy that in a certain way. Then again I am a very particular kind of player that just likes having this game on in and hangout, haha. The story itself has some things that feel it should be queer, yes, I have not played the Eden raid all the way through yet, but I have heard things, haha.
FFXIV was the first mmo I played, and coincided with discovering I was trans. I started as a pink haired catboy (who lives on as an nb alt of mine, destined to become bunny twink), I used my free fantasia to become a big tough lizard man, and while I experimented with glamming him queerly like with the Uraeus Coat (ie., the Coat of Gaying) I felt detached from him, while simultaneously feeling more comfortable interacting with other players than ever before. Before FFXIV I was a mostly single player gamer.
Then my egg cracked and while exploring these new feelings I looked at my avatar, made an alt to test out a new name and cat girl look, and quickly decided this was the way; I forked over the cash for a fantasia AND name change on my main, and Alice Lufenia was born. Not only did I feel more connected to her, and eager to build lore background for her, I was also happy to see my FC mates and friends take the change in stride, simply clarifying "name change" was all anyone needed. My identity was so moldable in game no one cared beyond clarifying I'm not someone new.
That's really rad! I am glad you too could find the wonderful queer world of Final Fantasy XIV useful. And glad you FC mates were real nice about it all
As usual amazing video and yes Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts were always queer, as a cis straight guy I admit that thanks to the way the games are drawn and written with the subtext of the stories :)
Totally!
Great video! Proud to be a part of it!
You're great!!
came here from the moomin primer, sent there by jan misali, and I was, legitimately, somewhat worried this channel wasn't going to be gay enough for my liking.
I am no longer worried.
EDIT: oh cool, you're trans too! that makes a lot of sense, given the channel name.
Honestly I feel like my experiences have been very different but to be fair gaming is a bit of um... a man dominated space. Basically as a then "uncracked" egg of a trans boy I already got to play as male characters all the time in single player experiences so what few times I got to my play an MMOs I sorta got... socially pressured into playing as a girl because feminism or something. I imagine that explains why I always felt those avatars I created were bland and unfitting which unfortunately soured my experience and led me to never playing one of these games for more than a few hours.
Perhaps someday I will try an MMO again such as the one you're playing throughout this vid but ya know... this time I'll be smart and will choose to play as one of those lion men. I mean if I can be anything in a video game I may as well be a big sexy himbo that's also a fucking furry!
That is a very interesting perspective, thanks for sharing. I am glad you had plenty of other opportunities to play as characters that fit you outside of MMO's though, and like you said - maybe the buff lion men are waiting just around the corner!
Uh wow, you actually convinced me to try out FFXIV
Hell yeah! Hope you enjoy it!
When I started cracking my own egg and sharing my thoughts with my (now) gf, one of the things she pointed out to me was how in my WoW account I had over a dozen female chars and only 1 single dude, a Forsaken missing his jaw.
She (playfully) made fun of me for taking so long to realize.
MMO's are a neat way to express yourself even if you're not entirely sure what you're doing I suppose, haha.
The quality, pace of production, and insightfulness of your content inspires me to be a more productive version of myself. On top of that, I'm enjoying your catalog! I feep lucky to be discovering your work before it becomes popular
This is my favorite video so far. Thank you so much.
Thank you too! :)
The social aspect of video games, whether that be discussing my thoughts on a game or fighting games as a whole has always been on of my favourite parts of games. There is just something about playing against someone you can ask for advice on Discord or in person afterwards that is just more fun than only using the matchmaking.
I implore people to join at least 1 Discord server for the game(s) they play because honestly fighting games are 90% a social experience. I don’t really know how to word all this unscripted, but yeah social interaction and discussion is cool.
Social interaction is rad, indeed. It's pretty baller, really.
this channel is criminally underrated
A lot of people say that. All we can do is hope that people show that by sharing, liking, commenting and supporting us on Patreon. It's what might in the end make us less underrated, haha. Thanks friend
I grew with mmorpgs, ive always loved character creators and seeing all the different ways i could make a character look as a kid, when i grew up more though I started feeling very limited by the locked gender options and the very over the top sexual dimorphism that plagued the base characters, looking back on it now i really have always wanted to mix and match my characters presentation with feminine and masculine aspects, and thats how i want Myself to be! i haven't thought about it much until recently when i started playing monster hunter rise and had to completely change my characters gender Three times to get a character i actually felt comfortable with, but the limitations of these games have always affected be as a nonbinary person a Ton, even before i realized thats who i am.
whoa that was long, great video! loved hearing your experience and it made me reflect on my own! 💕
Aw, thank you, and thank you for sharing your own experiences. It is all very interesting to hear what people have to say, a lot of different perspectives out there. I am not non-binary, but I always felt the latest Animal Crossing was really good at giving you a lot of freedom. It still has restrictions, but I think it does a splendid job with what it got.
@@Transparencyboo oh definitely! i really liked the way they handed it in animal crossing new horizons, most of the time i spent in it was just making lots of fun outfits and messing around with my character 💕
this video was super good!! love the way you use your character as yourself in the video
Haha, thanks. It was basically an idea that we used in our Animal Crossing video too, which this is almost a spiritual sequel to :)
I had the same experience with MMOs! All very well stated here. Even single player games can be an avenue for expression. The other year, I got my old Xbox out and replayed Mass Effect, making Shep look pretty close to how I look now that I've transitioned. My old save was still on there, so I started it up... and Shepard looked exactly the same, even though I'd made her ten+ years beforehand. What an egg I was!
Hell yeah single player games can do that too. Sorry if we made it sound like they absolutely can't, haha. That wasn't really the intention. But yeah, creating and just playing as characters we identify with can be helpful for sure. You still negotiate gender, except with a generalized other I suppose, which is neat as heck.
Holy shit do I want to revisit Guild Wars: Factions now.
This video through, what a beautiful celebration of the wholesome side of MMORPGs. Amazing work as always! 💜💜💜
I started looking into these games partly because I was tired of only hearing about the addictive side of them. Which is important, but there is so much more to them that needs to be taken into account.
this video really resonated with me! virtual avatars as a space of trans expression is something i've thought about a lot as i continue my transition, preparing to begin HRT. what you had to say about 'implications' of the way we as trans people relate to the way other people perceive(d) our genders online, and how it's so hard to realize "what it all means" at first was very true for me, and it was lovely to see someone else express those thoughts so eloquently, putting words to my own experience.
thank you for this video! you are great.
Thank you for the kind message, and we're glad that we could put some words on what you've been feeling :) You're great too!
This is my new favorite channel. Thank you
Aw, thank you! That's very nice to hear, glad we could make some stuff you enjoy! Flyff is just such an early free to play MMO it's almost ridiculous, haha. It's a bit fun that it actually came back recently with a remaster of sorts it seems like, if you're interested in getting even more nostalgic :)
@@Transparencyboo didn't know it's back 😱
I stopped playing after they introduced skill points, instead of the system before where you leveled skills by using them.
I also don't think I could enjoy MMO's anymore, I've gotten old and don't have the patience for them anymore haha!
This is a really small thing to pick out of an overwhelmingly broad, deep, and wonderful video, but that is a HUGE grain of salt you give us at 14:52, and I'm grateful for your inclusion of different play motivations. I happen to share your point of view though -- It's just that I never actually got into playing MMOs. Like, I tried a number of times, but they just never stuck. I feel like it was always because I never found a community online there. When I was a kid, my guy friends all played as the extremely straight, broski guys that they are. I love them for who they are, but I could never really see the world through that perspective, even if I was not at all aware of that at the time. I think I unintentionally avoided it because I didn't want to play with them like that. Incidentally, they all played WoW.
Part of the alienation I felt from MMOs is also partly mechanical, I think. The gameplay loops just weren't things I felt I could express and play with myself in, no matter how good the role-play opportunities were, and at the times that I'd tried to get into them, I just wrote off my experience as not enjoying the gameplay, but as I find myself seeking more of my self in online communities, I wonder if it was actually that I didn't enjoy the players. As hear more experiences from trans women like you, I find more shared experience than not. I don't know if this means I'm trans, or if I'll just be some sort of ambiguously queer person all my life, but I'm grateful to you for sharing your story that I can see myself in it, whoever that is. I am getting to explore myself a little bit through your experience of gaming, like you got to explore yourself a little bit through your characters' experiences of games, and I'm really grateful for that.
Lovely essay! Late to the party myself, but thank you so much! I play a Hrothgar in XIV and I've always loved how a race intended to be big, fierce, and intimidating was interpreted by queer furries. So many of us express ourselves through them different and often in much softer ways and its endearing how we often pick each other out of a crowd in a sort of recognition of that. Its helped my feel a level of acceptance myself as a NB and softer person who is bigger and often interpreted in a masculine way. Looking forward to lady Hroths so more people can find something that suits themselves :)
I have to first compliment your machinimating skills, the cinematography is very clean and well done!
I'll start this off by saying I'm a cis bi dude. I generally played as guys in most games that had character creators, like Saints Row. When I initially played through FFXIV, I did it as a Hyur Highlander male. Played through the entire game up through the end of 5.0 as him. But I had some trouble connecting to the game, its story, and the world through the Highlander. I never felt like I was personally involved with anything that was happening, it was just my character that I was controlling. It was a strange feeling, as it hadn't been a problem for me in other games before this.
When the Shadowbringers benchmark had came out, I created a sleepy-looking Au Ra girl and I kind of fell in love. As I was going through ShB, the Au Ra was always kind of in the back of my mind. I didn't fantasia until way later, and I kind of regret not doing it sooner honestly, because when I finally did, everything kind of fell into place. I finally felt like I was able to properly inhabit the gameworld as an extension of myself. It made me care more about the world and the characters that lived in it. And I started having more fun exploring the different jobs, as I had a weird mental barrier that prevented me from playing a lot of the other jobs as my Highlander. She is me, and I am her. And through her, I have a much more natural time interfacing with everything within FFXIV.
My little story certainly isn't as interesting as your personal journey, but it definitely helped me empathize with what you were saying. This was a lovely video to watch.
Thank you, we put a lot of energy and time into it. The least I can hope for is that people enjoy it, and if the Animal Crossing episode is anything to go by people REALLY do. And don't sell your story short, I though it was interesting for sure! :)
This was phenomenal, thank you so much for expressing yourself through this virtual lens, it was very enlightening!
Feeling safe around people, even in the anonymity of a virtual world, feels like a fantasy in itself right now, but I remember that I used to have such spaces. I had such a community, once, in World of Warcraft of all places. I willingly... for some value of willingly, anyway... left it behind because I was too much an obsessive-compulsive completionist, and WoW added things that were in the category I cared much too deeply about, that would be forever physically impossible for me to get without being part of a more competitive group due to the mechanism for obtaining them. That, in turn, led me to leave the game itself behind, and to conclude that MMOs are not something I can really play. Even so, I miss that community, and something about how you describe FFXIV makes me want to try it, even knowing what would happen.
I will say, I always played male characters in online games, and that has never felt wrong, but in single-player games, I'll often play as a woman, and that also does not feel like it's not me. Strangely, I feel satisfactorily represented by either body. The male one I have in meatspace isn't wrong, but neither is it in some metaphysical sense right. It's just the one I ended up with. Is this what realizing you're some flavor of enby feels like? Probably. And yet, I couldn't possibly openly identify as such; not now, at least. People are far too cruel to those who deviate from their presumed "default human" template, no matter how flimsy the justification for such a template's existence may be. That's something I know all too well from other things. And, at least for now, at least on this, I can pass without burying my real self, so I will, at least for now.
Heh. I think I may have shared too much, but I don't feel driven to delete any of what I wrote, either. I suppose you can consider it a compliment that even someone who has seeming good reason to be cynical, jaded, and distrustful like me feels comfortable enough to open up somewhat here. It's a nice space you've cultivated.
The addictive nature of these games is a genuine problem, and one thing I did not mention is that it is very easy to fall too deep into them. Sometimes, if you are feeling really bad and this place makes you feel good in any way you might get lost in it. It doesn't necessarily need to be a bad thing, but it certainly can be in excess. I was there a few times, let me tell you.
It think it is nice to at the very least think about yourself in the manner you describe here, because even if you are not coming out as trans at this very moment it could be helpful to at least understand yourself and others a bit better. The more we think about it the easier it might be to come to terms with it all and find a head space where that identity feels like a possibility. It's all good~
And thank you for sharing anyway, I am glad to hear the nice words about our little space too. Means a lot, really! :)
I've had a very similar experience coming to terms with the strange meta-physicality of being "some flavor of enby", and can confirm that people are sometimes very cruel about it. Definitely follow your instincts, both when self-realizing and deciding whether or not it's safe to come out; these things are complex and beautiful, even if we have no one else in meatspace (at least for the moment) to share them with :)
Thanks for the awesome video! I've never played any MMORPGS, but I think I get how they're so freeing
...also, I can't unsee the holes in those salt and pepper shakers as the angel's faces...
They are very important lore shakers actually! :)
Thank you very much for this video. This gave a much needed retrospective for myself in a community of Harvest Moon fans in an old bulletin board system. I had such a good time with those people.
You're very welcome! Glad you liked it :)
When the triple triad music came on I instantly got anxiety that it was somehow my turn and I needed to play my card. I haven't been subbed in a couple of months.
I am sorry, haha
Great video as usual, although a bit of ramble. But who doesn't like a bit of ramble :)
I remember the christmas eve I spent reading Alicia's bachelor thesis on this subject, it was very cozy! It was also the first christmas I spent with family in femenine clothing! A special memory to me ❤ I can also say that you pushing me into FFXIV did help with me understanding my own gender identity as well, thanks for that Alicia!
Aw, thank you too!
Lovely video and so nice to hear your personal story in this way ❤️
This is such a comfortable video. Tysmb❤
Glad you liked it 🧡
40:28 Something about the Fantasia potion: You are given one as a freebie for completing the main story of A Realm Reborn. IT IS THE ONLY FREE ONE HOWEVER. Considering the pricing, i very much understand the feeling of being exploited for money. But if you change your mind, you are given one chance to use it. (it's also given to free trial players btw)
This was a lovely video, and I did find it relatable to my own experiences in a way!
While I've never really been into MMOs, I did play quite a lot of ACNH when it first released, and after a while I decided I wanted to try more "girly" outfits in-game. That definitely helped me discover that I was non-binary, since the game has basically no restrictions on gender, which kinda made me realize that maybe being just one gender or the other wasn't for me.
Once again, the video was fantastic!
This was a great and relatable video, but the most important part is at 39:25 I'm in love with shark boi
The true MVP of the video, clearly!
I can relate massively to this video. My experiences of exploring my gender identity were through the process of erotic roleplay, but I became very depressed because everyone else was doing it to relieve themselves, while I was doing it to _find_ myself. That compounded with the socially transgressive nature of lewdness and it ended up being an exhausting path to walk. What I learned about myself is that I want to be sexy, colorful, cute, pretty, a fantastical hero, and to share experiences with the individuals who I hold close to my heart.
If I let myself get too focused on society's judgement of me, then I become spiteful and misanthropic, but when I think about my romantic partner and my best friends, I feel inspired to express my true self in a way that only I can and become a much happier person. My Final Fantasy XIV character has been with me through many such developments, and she has changed vastly in appearance to suit how I was feeling in the darkest of times and in the most dazzling of times.
Once again, this is the best video to date. ;w;
I wanted to bring up three things especially on the WoW/FFXIV difference: The expressive emotes, clothing as fashion, and the permanence of characters.
Back in FFXI, I used to be a Hume (human) of what was my deal vision for a masc look. This person I was wanted to express myself in /silent emotes (so it just does the motion without the "x does a dance" in chat) but many of the emotes for a male hume was very gruff and direct in my opinion. I found that my interaction with people changed a ton and felt more like "me" when I changed to Tarutaru (Lalafell FFXIV) with much more expression on even the smallest of emotes. In FFXI, we had something called a "Taru Dance" which was a macro of emotes done with timing commands and cancels to make something personal.
I eventually moved over to wow when my friends started to play, but the emotes was very limited, especially since classes where tied to races and thus you had to pick a race for the class you wanted. The high fantasy of WoW also meant that 'cute' was limited to female models (and usually sexy was more pronouced) and not on the table as it seemed more mocking then a way to be. My RP in that world was very limited to chat only or small actions. Trying to make any change, even that of one's job required releveling of a brand new character who was a whole new personality to fit into. Each one of these personas was a part of me, but none of them was the whole me that I wanted to be.
Finally, FFXIV really expanded on what felt as my digital self realized. Everyone looks amazing, even in very basic clothing. all the emotes are expressive in nature and hand different ways of interacting with the world. The act of changing my look and still being "functional" for the game part helped marry those two sides of me.
I don't have the time anymore to enjoy FFXIV, but the time I did felt like it helped unlock my RL changes that I took afterwards.
Thank you for sharing, friend! Glad you liked the video! I rarely have time to play FFXIV either, sadly, but then again I think I got a lot out of that game either way. I don't necessarily need it as much anymore, and that is a good thing :)
I seriously want to write a 10,000 page essay on why I love this video so much but it's 2 a.m. and I don't have nearly enough coffee in me. This video explains so accurately what I've experienced in my life and it's inspiring to hear a story about someone who's gone through similar things and is now a happier better person for it. You inspire me to keep going with my journey too, even if I'm still having a hard time convincing myself if it's something I should go through with. This video and your story genuinely makes me so happy, and has also helped me realize how and why Final Fantasy as a series clicked with me haha, I absolutely loved your analysis on how the series as a whole has that LGBT coding. You have a wonderful way of showing people the magic that you see yourself. I feel a little less alone now. Totally subscribed, and thank you. I'll keep this video close to my heart for a very, very long time.
Thanks, that's very nice to hear!
About halfway through the video I started thinking “this is all cool but man as an enby person games still have limitations for me” and then you said it. I’ve done a lot for myself by writing more non-binary characters, which is a great step, but games? I’ll hold out hope that we’ll get there one day too
World of Warcraft was one of the first places I was truly myself: a woman, an explorer, and someone who loves to work well in a team.
Happy for you! ♥️
25:50 yes, they have escaped me. as I’ve never witness such a meme before, or it was so forgettable that I don’t remember seeing any of them
Interesting, lol.
"Eyyy it's me, Jucika - star of da channel!"
She owns the channel!
lalafell being very similar across their genders is so comforting for my experience in this game
Really good video. Really quite relatable. And your avatar was pretty cute! For a potato, I mean. :D
Thank you
Came from Jan Misali. Yeah, I really like what I see so far.
Welcome! Glad you liked it :)
I'm nonbinary and I still remember how heckin happy I felt as a kid when I was doing as I usually do, picking gender completely randomly based entirely on whatever had the best outfits I wanted, and I met someone who said "you're a guy pretending to be a girl right? You just don't seem like a real girl." It's so weird cos in retrospect that was obviously an insult, but at the time I was just like "hell yeah I am successfully achieving gender unknown!" haha
Tho I did tend to spend way too much on recustomizing my character to swap gender and species every week or so. That's why I had to stop FFXIV in particular, cos it was particularly expensive to get those items back when I was playing. I think you only got one free one at a level 25 quest if I remember correctly?
I figured out I was trans before I really got into any big multiplayer games and I sort of regret it. I was a single player gamer mostly, but I hear all these tales and it makes me wish that I had the chance to explore my gender in such a safe way like that. My coming out was extremely sudden and I find it easier to look at pre-transition photos of myself than _early_ transition photos because I just had no idea what I was doing.
Anyway, I started playing Final Fantasy XIV recently. My girlfriend put me on to it. It's wonderful. And while I already have my identity pretty well figured out irl, it's still fun to roleplay a character who is dramatically different from me. I'm very confident IRL, I'm forward and I make friends quickly. My FFXIV character is a bag of anxiety though. I hate using sex language to describe her in this way, but she has "bottom" energy, and it's lovely to just explore that side of expression while playing the game with my girlfriend. Our characters are pretty much a reversal of our real relationship, and it's wonderful to get to experience each other from "both sides" so to speak. I think I'll be playing FFXIV for a lot longer :)
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences 🧡
"excessively beautiful people"
"distinct smoothness"
How many times have I cited these sentiments _against_ FFX|V, in favor of the PS2-era earthy clumpiness of FFXI...
The game's just _too_ pretty! This bizarre uncanny sense that it's beyond my grasp, some ethereal dimension unfit for mine flesh. Maybe one day I'll dedicate myself to plumbing its award-winning narrative, and scorning the agedness of FFXI to disallow me those degrees of expression, but the aesthetic is nigh unapproachable by such mortals as me in this meantime.
Also the discussion about being seen as the gender of your avatar in games brings to mind many frustrating moments where I have played as female avatars, using the name "HoodieGal", and still get referred to as male by some people. My gender is literally right there in my name!!
Unreasonable. People are bad at reading. You obviously girl in every way!
i've been thinking about this video lately. i never really got into online games, but i can relate to this thru oneline friends, discord & picrew
i am still in school & i've been going to the same school for forever, so everyone around me knows my deadname. and even most ppl are respectful, ppl slip & it messes with u
but online ppl don't know that. it's super cool to me that i have actual friends who don't know my deadname. i didn't think that could happen until i move out, but it's pretty cool
and with the avatar expression, picrew lets me make pretty girls (sometimes as versions of myself) & use them to represent me so that ppl think of the picrews when they interact with me. i can live my gender vicariously thru picrew when i can't really irl
not the same thing, but this video got me thinking about it
Thank you for sharing your story. It's very inspiring.
Gosh how I wish these games could do this performative identity experiment stuff for me. I mostly can't relax to try being myself, when other people are around in any form. I'm always way too aware of my performing, and act accordingly distant or imposing, even when it's in digital dressup. I seem to have to do my soul-searching in solo funspaces, or maybe still have to learn to deal with myself or find my people. I do very much not play to my socially prescribed cishetwhiteman role in games or other entertainment, though, so I get that.
Also my cool takes on FFXIV: It's the Eurovision Songfestival of video games, and it's the most fully realized game in its mostly, charmingly baroquely, overambitious franchise.
Sometimes it is all about approach and timing. One day you might enter a game, not necessarily an MMO, with the precise right mindset at the precise right time to have it perfectly click into place to the point where you feel you can genuinly play yourself out in that space. It doesn't have to happen though, and that is legit too. The point is more that we change all the time, and so does our perspectives, so who knows. I like your cool take by the way, it is very good, haha :)
I do get wanting to do your own thing and not engaging too much with the social aspects of the game. On the other hand, I find it pretty interesting that you were always the twin that managed to make friends and stuff more easily in real life. Where I'm the one who does all that icky socializing and making friends more easily in the game and always just sort of 'borrowed' your friendships when in meatspace.
I, for one, excitedly await your Star Wars Galaxy thesis.
Don't tempt me!
@@Transparencyboo Its what I do!
Fantastic video, as always !
Most of the time, I want to play a women or any gender that is considered different than mine. Not that much for the role play or the exploration of my vision of my gender, but more to try understanding what is a gender and how it is, in fact, quite fluid. In a game where the protag is defined, choosing the women one is logical decision for me. But, this seems different when this protag is not defined, but is rather a complete avatar of myself, like in a MMORPG.
Ironically, I always find this difficult to play as another gender in those games... Because most games will make them a fetish and I will also see myself beginning to make a fetish of them, and this disgust me. I do not want to play an objectified character, nor see this part of myself. But, in fact, there is no better way to understand how it is annoying to have a body that is constantly a fetish to others, but also to yourself through the eyes of others.
I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for my beloved Lala.
Low five! ;3
Potatoe life!
Cis man here but such a nice and interesting video to listen to, also didnt think you were trans until you said it here! Great work on this!
edit: I cant forget to mention, I cannot play MMORPG because I get nervous about coming off as inept in terms of performing the more gamey functions of the game but I can easily let myself go and have great fun in VRChat for example! as cute avatars and making funny, stupid or cute voices, theres a sense of comfyness to it.
Beautiful and thoughtful video. I'd like to corroborate some of the ideas about expressing oneself with a short discussion of Warframe.
Warframe, a game where you do not even get to create your own character (except for ~~spoiler~~), but rather choose from a set of predesigned ones, that you have to work to unlock, has a *huge* community around customization and personalization of these characters. Almost anyone who has spent money on the game has spent at least some of that money on unlocking new color pallettes to personalize their character, many buy attachments or alternate animation sets to further express themselves, and the game even includes some fan-made customization options (like Mesa's best-looking hat). In this game that's all about shooting unending waves of mooks, and optimizing your armory to perfect perfomance, the community still shows a huge interest in self-expression and social interactions. Visiting a relay on the day Baro Ki'teer is set to arrive will without exception result in seing a mix of casual chatter, dance parties, and people showing off their latest customizations. The true endgame of Warframe is Fashion Frame.
Dressing up your dolls/avatars has become a big part of any game these days. But it's especially interesting to me in Warframe because most of the characters look so abstract and inhuman. You don't even have the option to play boring vanilla human, or even a muscly or sexy wish fulfilment human. Everyone who plays is forced to step into a body that is very alien and different from the meat they wear in their daily lives.
I freaking stan Fashionframe!
as I transgender person I can relate a lot to expressing myself through Roleplaying games.
while I'm not an ff14 player, between being able to wear any type of clothing in animal crossing was really something for me, I litterally had a wand outfit with a big, gothic dress called "Trans Rights", and still didn't realise somehow... it was only when my friend showed me what picrew (a Japanese doll dress up game site where users can upload their own doll makers that a lot of English speaking queer people use) and he guided me through character creation, did I realise I wanted to present and look more feminine. up to that point, everytime there was a character creator or an m/f player character choice, I would do what I thought i was supposed to do, and felt like it was forbidden to do so, and just did what i thought everyone else was supposed to do and make a shoddy replica of my own face at the time. I remeber distinctly after I had picked up some second hand gen 4 Pokemon games before I realized who I was, I really, *really* wanted to pick the girl trainer, but felt like I would be weird for choosing it when I was a "boy", even though no one was looking.
all these thoughts are kinda incoherrant, but i guess if i were to turn this ramble about my experiences into a point;
even without the aspect of being interacted with by actual people online, npc dialogue, and even just the ability to just customise and play with your appearance and gender inside of a completely safe space... it can do wonders for self exploration.
Oh for sure, Animal Crossing is amazing for that especially and I think it does a better job than most games to encourage you to think about these things simply from the structure of it all. It's a life sim that doesn't put much stock in gender, wants you to play around with clothes and be creative. It even has some social aspects, as in the villagers you interact with - not that they are real people, but I think they matter enough to people playing to make them feel 'real' in a different sense. Not only can you play around with your own gender expression, but also the other villagers as well by giving them gifts and clothes to wear. We talked a bit about this in our Animal Crossing video too, and yeah, it's just a fun queer sandbox, haha
@@Transparencyboo yea :))
FFXIV specifically somehow became a MAGNET for trans femmes, it's wild :P I never liked MMOs myself, but I definitely understand why other trans people enjoy them.
It's the best egg cracker in the world!
Watching this video and having a name similar to your avatar is a trip lol
Oh.
Hmm. This prompts some self-evaluation.
That juicy self reflection!
this was very beautiful
Hey, thanks! Glad you liked it!
(EDIT: Full thoughts at end, sorry I rambled)
I've barely just started the video but I had to come flail, I'm SO EXCITED for this! I've been a fan of your channel since the FFX Laugh video, and I went back and watched ALL your vids (excepting one or two because I haven't played the relevant games yet), I really love your content. And now you're talking about my current favorite game FFXIV! Through a queer lens! Day made & I haven't even watched it yet. XD
ETA: Wow, that was personally both really interesting and kinda sad for me. I've been playing FFXIV for only a little longer than you, I started sometime before Stormblood came out, and I mostly see my character as my character, not an avatar or extension of myself. There ARE some grey areas, he loves purple because I love purple and I dress him in ways I find aesthetically pleasing, and I think my being nonbinary has leaked into him (THANK YOU for critiquing the binariness of the game), but he's not me. I don't know if it's an autistic thing but I've never really IDENTIFIED with characters, of any kind. Also, I had no idea about the queer community in the game! I knew there are lots of queer players, but I didn't know there was a discord and stuff, that's super cool. I second the other commenter who said they never have a sense of anonymity bc of anxiety, I have a really high level of anxiety (both social and general), so I've pretty much only interacted with my existing friends I joined the game to play with. Lately I've not had contact with them so it's just been me & sometimes my fiancee who I also pulled into the game. X) I'm really quite envious of the social fulfillment people find in games like this. But it really was fascinating to hear about your and others' experiences with these things, I'm so glad you made this video. Thank you for sharing with us!! ♥
And thank you too! Actually hearing about the anxiety of social interaction in these kinds of games makes me want to dive even deeper into this rabbit hole. Because that is very interesting in general, I think it sort of goes together with the whole idea of people feeling they have a sense of personal space. It is quite real so, yeah, makes perfect sense I think.
@@Transparencyboo that's an interesting idea. For me personally, my fear is very much centered on ME, I'm incredibly self-critical & self-conscious & constantly terrified of messing up socially. But I know everyone's social anxieties are different, fueled by different issues & fears, so personal space probably does feed into it for a lot of people.
This video is my life, I related to SO MUCH of it 💕
Aw thanks, glad it resonated with you so much!
Though I still don't have this historic connection with MMO's (FFXIV was my first), I've been playing RPG's with character creators or games with the potential for 'inserts' for a long time! Hell, I've even doing a very similar thing with RP forums instead of MMO's, because I was very anxious - and to me it was always easier to express myself over text that could be edited and looked over and not 'in the moment' emotes and gameplay. I'm still working on conquering that fear of interaction and seeming 'stupid', I really yearn for that connectivity and community that people find in MMO's. I just have to get it past my anxiety brain and push forward! :D
And with gender and expression and identity: I still have a lot of similar experiences, which is so cool! Even though I started playing FFXIV (back in December of 2020) years after I firmly realized who I was as a very gender non-conforming trans guy, oh wow the gender envy and joy I feel from so many of the FFXIV races is massive in the best way. The male au ra are handsome and tall without losing that 'pretty' and smooth feel mentioned, especially when you further customize them. I love how elegant and graceful the male elezen look, and do I even need to mention male miqo'te and eventually the male viera? I'm in a constant state of 'do I want to look like that, or date a pretty guy like that?' It's a constant gay trans guy state for me!
My only real issues that prevent me from creating that 'idealized self' instead of fully fleshed out separate characters like I have... tends to be the fact that everyone is set to be so skinny. I'm plus sized/fat, and I've come a long way with learning to accept and love me and my body. Realizing I can still be pretty and feminine and myself while loving myself and while being fat! And while it might be easier to play a 'bigger' race like male roe or male hrothgar, they've never really been... me. (Not to mention the catboy /joy ear wiggles are too good! Too cute! How could I possibly give them up? :D)
There are so many unique perspectives or little joys with the trans community that play FFXIV that I've seen in so short a while! I have one friend who's been forced to play his male viera character using the female model, who created him even before the male viera were announced. And he was going to continue playing even if male viera were never a thing, because he just doesn't mind! I have another friend who would be playing with our small group, but the one thing stopping them from signing on is their dislike for the sexual dimorphism between the au ra gender 'looks', they wanted really bad to be a big, strong tall muscled lizard girl. I see and love the cute way people say the default CG trailer hyur's journey through the story, becoming more masculine looking over the years was him being on T! And I think despite the jokes people make, part of why I love this game is my ability to make my male character look feminine. I really don't like gender locked gear or the default of 'guys only look super buff and masculine, girls only look dainty and feminine' games have. XIV lets my character be a prettyboy healer in a long flowing skirt and I love it!
Though FFXIV isn't perfect - hardly anything is of course - oh wow does it bring me a lot of joy. And it's so nice to see this feeling of enjoyment and identity put into words about that ability that online games make you start experimenting with yourself! Even if my biggest wasn't MMO's, I still see so much overlap!
Thank you for sharing, friend! Loved it
There's certainly something to this. I mean, I have personally met at least three people in FFXIV who transitioned during or after the period where we played together. Obviously I can't speak for them, but I'm pretty certain the tolerant community and atmosphere of the game helped a bit there. And the game's lovely players have certainly helped me through a period of pretty deep depression. It's a safe place to socialize, experiment, and get some positive interactions and acknowledgement from likeminded people. And it takes a lot less effort and energy than real life socializing does. I could be an bouncy, helpful potato in the game, capable of making new friends to hang out with, when real life me had zero energy for any of that. Not saying that's unique to FFXIV. Other online spaces offer the same I'm sure. Though communities and social norms do differ. As you mentioned, WoW for example, has a reputation.
Even as a boring straight white guy, I do enjoy switching genders and races in FFXIV and just inhabiting a different body, and have unintentionally confused people into thinking I'm gay or a lady or whatever.
Anyhoo, fantastic video as usual. I didn't know you played FFXIV! Let us know what the cat thought of Neuromancer, she seemed to be interested. (I keep forgetting her name, even though she's mentioned in the credits for a bunch of these videos lol)
There are of course some bad eggs even in FFXIV. Especially when you get into higher tier content, but that kind of stuff usually gets shut down rather quickly. I don't think there is any community that is completely free from that kind of player, but FF does a particularly good job with it I think. And I mean, hearing from others it seems there are a lot of people who agree. Glad you too could find the wonderful world of Eorzea to be helpful! :)
Jucika loved Neuromancer, she now wants to watch all Matrix movies.
@@Transparencyboo She'll love that black cat in the first movie
It also helps that FFXIV has canonically queer characters and Yoshi-P openly supports the queer community (source: Kotaku Interview from 2019 kotaku.com/we-took-a-bold-step-this-time-final-fantasy-xiv-direct-1835098319).
Also there are nonbinary characters at least mentioned (other than the Fairies who are all NB) ao I have not yet given up on them at least abolishing the gender restrictions on the few pieces that still have it (they did it before with the bunny outfit from the Gold Saucer).
Yoshida and the team are really great honestly. I think the way they approach the players is quite something different, like I can't remember last time I saw developers on this scale be so open and candid about the development. And yeah, that interview is really great and I think it say tons. I am hopeful for the future. They might not go back and change every single piece of gear, because like Yoshi-P says it is not just a question of switching a line of code, right? It would take resources away from other things for sure. But for whatever comes in the future I hope they certainly take that approach. Just the fact that the 2B stuff was wearable by everyone was amazing, that is what real fan service looks like, lol.
A hundred pages about the complex social dynamics of Star Wars Galaxies PLEASE.
Oh boy, here we go again! *Seinfeld music plays*
This video makes me so happy!
Glad we could make you happy :)
The pipedream of FFXI getting modern upgrades where I can swap my Hume model... But then, I might be too attached to that snapshot of myself, from over a decade past. No matter how I change now and going forward, I'm not _not_ who I had been, have been. Identity is an expansion pack for my experience.
just from the title, im very excited about this one
Heck yeah
Really great video! I don't play MMO's and I think I didn't even play around with my character's gender in other character creation games that much? I did main Yoshi and King Boo in Mario Kart, which in my opinion are excelent choices for a trans masc nonbinary person. But even if it wasn't my experience I totally get why people use MMO's for experimenting with their expression and it was really cool to hear about your experience with that!
Thank you! Birdo will always be our main by the way.
@@Transparencyboo Birdo is wonderful! Also Birdo and Yoshi are T4T and nobody can change my mind on that
I remember playing kid MMOs like club penguin and Poptropica but, being the extremely antisocial kid with trauma, I would just ignore all the social parts to get to the "gameplay". I thought MMOs just weren't very good games at all.
I'm now nonbinary and have a vastly improved mental state. Getting into MMOs can be daunting because they are massive time syncs and essentially define your communal presence online, but I wonder if I got into one now, would I enjoy it?