And he's 100% right too. Cause you're alot more likely to end up in a lasting relationship since they will actually be compatible unlike when you just go chasing and take anyone that'll take you sorta thing.
Exactly. I also like that he mentions that people on video games and chat rooms because there's undoubtedly someone who watches Thor that might have a fear of social interaction, so they find it easier to be themselves in a video game or online.
Pretty much no matter what anyone might say, someone on Earth hasn't heard it before. The mistake is getting us all together on social media and then pretending like everyone's heard it all.
@@MackZZilla And the people who stick to video games or online chat rooms because Thor told them they can find a partner there are 99% less likely to find a partner than anyone doing things IRL. Just because a couple who met in a video game got married once does not mean it's in any way statistically or practically comparable to other forms of meeting people. That point was overly sugar-coated. The real advice behind "get out and do things you find fun" is that you actually need to do things where you're likely to meet people in your age range of the target sex/gender. If you don't find those things fun, you have to do them anyway, or "learn how to find them fun" if you want to be optimistic about how it works.
@@NerdOnTheStreet Actually, statistically more than half of couples these days meet online. In the US, the figure was something like 65% of all couples (that includes online dating, forums, games etc). Thinking meeting someone online is less likely than doing stuff IRL is such a boomer take at this point. It's about compatibility. If your hobby you enjoy is crocheting or gaming, you're not going to necessarily be more likely to meet someone going out and doing stuff you don't actually like - what, so you could meet someone who likes something you actually have no interest in? That's going to go down like a lead balloon. Not to mention as Thor said if you're there just to meet someone, it's incredibly obvious and reeks of desperation. Another thing to consider is that a lot of people might be kind of shy or awkward in person, but are far more sociable and relaxed on simply voice chat. I met my own fiancee of 5 years in an online game and because we're both in that space, most of our friend group who are now married or in a long term relationship met each other that way. And yes I understand that personal experience doesn't equate to statistical significance, but the point is you get to know someone a lot better when they can just be themselves and they're not an anxious wreck because they're doing something they don't want to do and have difficulty meeting new people IRL.
@@Futu06 Statistics also show that ~half of U.S. marriages end in divorce, so that figure's not super impressive (especially if it includes dating apps, which are massively broken and only getting worse). I'm not a "boomer," I'm 25 years old. My own "personal experience" with online games is that most of the time there's not even an active voice chat (if there is one at all), and you're typically cycled out between sets of entirely different players every game. I don't actually consider myself a "gamer" since I don't play very often (it feels like a waste of time unless I'm with other people), but I do play sometimes, and it's alien to me how people could form any sort of meaningful rapport via that medium, let alone a relationship. Many safety features and codes of conduct also seem specifically engineered to prevent breaking through that ephemeral, per-round level of interaction. Did you, your fiance, and the rest of your actively dating friend group all meet each other _entirely_ online? Did they all just happen to be located within a physically accessible area? Or did you happen to know some of them in person first, and gaming was a way to _stay_ connected? With regards to "lead balloons," I _hate_ running, I don't enjoy board games that much, and I don't really care about script reading, but I can meet _way_ more women (and people in general) doing any of those things than sitting in front of a screen for hours (still not many, but infinitely greater than zero). Do you think a relationship with someone you met running is going to be based entirely around running for eternity? The best time to meet partners is during school, specifically because that's when you're around other people of your own age _without_ having to come up with a reason why (and because expectations haven't yet risen to the level of "they'd better like all the same things I do"). Hobbies come and go all the time; they don't have to be your personality. And being "incredibly obvious and reeking of desperation" has lots to do with how you present yourself and very little to do with your actual intentions. I can spot insecure people from a mile away when they're dropping self-deprecating jokes about how they're single all the time-- or, conversely, when they talk about how happy and secure they are to be single all the time, while still falling over themselves to make conversation with any woman that walks into the room. Just because you're lonely and doing things to meet people doesn't mean you have to act that way. Again, it's just less cushy to explain that-- both because it's rude to point out to people when they're being cringe, and because it's legitimately unfortunate that advertising interest is seen as a negative factor. It's much easier and more well-received to just say "do what you like, and you might (or might not) meet someone."
It always amuses me because they claim they are sick of women's games so instead what do they do? They play a game of bingo card thinking if you fill up a checklist you're gonna have a high enough score to automatically get the chicks. You're literally playing a game. All you are gonna get is other players.
Don't you think its unjust though? Imagine a situation where there are two men. One of these men is literally dying of thirst. I mean he's wasting away, you can see it clearly. He needs water or he will die soon. The other man, meanwhile, is sitting comfortably in a nice pool of cool, fresh water surrounded by trees and plants. The man right next to him is dying of thirst, but the dying man is not allowed to drink the fresh water that could save his life because the water is owned by a group of people who like the man currently resting in it and for no apparent or justifiable reason, hate the man who is dying of thirst. This is unjust, yet it is how our society functions when it comes to mate-pairing. The research out there (from what few sources haven't been ideologically captured) shows that prolonged denial of sexual and emotional intimacy, in general but especially in men, leads to increased emotional and mental instability, increased risk of serious cognitive dysfunction, greatly reduced sense of contentment and wellbeing, and a drastically increased propensity for violence and actual misanthropy. Our society claims to be oh-so-empathic to the weak and vulnerable, yet when men who are actually weak and vulnerable due to female cruelty and hypergamy ask for help, they are mocked, mistreated, ignored, gaslit, disregarded, and branded as threats to women's safety merely for existing.
@@StarboyXL9unfortunately life is not fair, but its the same for men if they see a a girl acting very desperate. The good news is, the faster you get over yourself, the faster you will bounce back.
I never get bored of seeing Thor shorts on my feed, either hes talking about ferrets, working experience or wisdom of the life.... This man is the best at whats hes doing
@@master1442p what are you defining as a "problem"? Being single? Cause if that's the case, if you view being single as a problem, that's the desperation he was talking about. If you think someone joining you in life is a "fix" for your "problem" then you're missing the message and point. You don't find someone by making that your goal. You find someone by making connections, connections based off of mutual interests and personalities. Let me ask you this, do you have a close friend? A best friend? If so, did you go searching for someone to be your best friend? Think on that.
@@master1442p being single isn’t a problem, relationships are built on compatibility, respect, and communication. You won’t find that chasing after people, you find it by fostering a community and being a respectful person.
ALPHA isn't a thing, at all, not even in wolves like those losers will claim the dude who did the "study that proves that they do have alpha behavior" was done in captivity, when a colleague of the man doing it mentioned this afterward, he redid it in nature to verify, finding that in fact no, in nature that behavior is not exhibited, turns out it's just captivity, you put a bunch of animals in an area with limited resources and a fixed influx and yes a hierarchy will form quite easily, he's been trying to disprove it ever since :(
He didn't destroy any of Tate's arguments lol He simply disagreed. Not to say Tate's arguments are hard to destroy. If I sat down with him, it'd be an easy win. He'd resort to name-calling and talking down to me. That's all he can do. Dude doesn't have an ounce of intelligence or logic.
@@NerdOnTheStreet - How does that make it bad advice? Just because it has positive side effects regardless of whether or not you're successful doesn't mean it's bad advice. There is no "method" that's 100% successful. Even if it's 90% successful, that's still 10% of failures, and 90% is absurdly high. Those 10% would still be better served by doing it this way where they'd incidentally make other friends than the method of being a toxic bitter asshole who refuses introspection. That way won't work for dating, and also has the side effect of pushing friends away from you for being a garbage person to hang out with in general.
@@KingBobXVI The point of advice is to advise on how to do something/get somewhere/etc. If the advice doesn't actually increase your chances of success, then it's bad advice. Consider this: I want advice on how to better manage floor space in my living room. A UA-camr says, "paint your walls blue. Even though you might not have a better-managed floor, at least you'll have pretty blue walls." That advice is bad because it doesn't answer the question I asked, and it instead gives me an unsolicited prescription about something else. More broadly telling people not to be "toxic bitter assholes" is slightly more sound advice, although if you're going to call people who have an issue with the practicality of some advice "toxic bitter assholes," I have to wonder how positive of a person you really are yourself. (What you're really doing is projecting a negative idea of a person onto anyone who's single against their desire, which lets you both bolster confidence in your non-working advice and avoid considering larger societal reasons why people might not be able to find partners when it should statistically be easier than ever.)
His take on TikTok being forced to sell is flat out incorrect. It's his only "bad" opinion I am aware of. But then, he has no experience in targeted behavioral analytics, so he isn't fully aware of how devastating and dangerous it can be. It is an extraordinarily powerful method of radicalizing people to become hateful and encourage them to commit acts of violence against a society or segments of society. A hostile foreign government having that power over our populace is unacceptable. It is also unacceptable for China to have direct access to GPS data which exposes who works in federal buildings, courthouses, and infrastructure. edit: I responded, but it is not showing up. Very suspicious it's not showing up. Cyberdemon's response was full of logical fallacies and I explained why. If someone is invoking the "no politics rule". First, that's for Discord and live stream chatrooms. Second, this is not politics. Politics involves politicians and elections. There is no politician or election here. This is foreign affairs or foreign relations subject. No rule banning foreign affairs or foreign relations talk.
@@potato9832no one is 100% but he’s closer than anyone I’ve ever seen 😆. My understanding of his TikTok take that TikTok being forced to sell is not ideal simply because we trade one governments snooping for anothers. clearly the USA in control is a lesser of two evils but he’s saying that is also wrong for reasons, which yea I can see. I’m just not that distrustful of all things government when it comes to the US or governments in general. but you have to really get into the weeds if we start talking about government, so it’s easier to just be on guard when it comes to moves any government makes. All that said, yea I’d rather have TikTok not be a national security threat but being forced to sell still has some stink on it at a base level.
@@potato9832 Your viewpoint would be valid had the govt. not publicly admitted that they're banning it specifically because they couldn't control the Isntreal-Palestine war narrative.
@cyberdemon1702 USA is not in control of private corporations. In China, corporations are always controlled by government. In USA, corporations are regulated by state laws allowing for submitting articles of formation and licensing. The federal government regulates imports, exports, and taxation. There is NO control of the operations by state or federal government. There is a universe of difference between control and regulate. Justifying China's ability to manipulate and social engineer Americans by invoking "USA spies too" is a bad argument. For one, it's a tu quoque fallacy. Two, USA is not hostile to itself or Americans. China is hostile to USA and Americans. (A false equivalency fallacy.) Third, this is not about spying. It's about the ability to manipulate. (A red herring fallacy.) There is no stink about being forced to sell. This is not a free speech violation. Corporations don't get free speech let alone a foreign corporation; let alone a foreign corporation controlled by a hostile foreign government. This is not overreach, because the federal government places embargos and import/export restrictions on a long list of products and services. It is 100% within the purview of the US government to regulate harmful products and services entering or operating within the US edit: Removed the "attitude".
Experience can take you a long way. I'm in that middle ground at 35, and I can see how little I could see at 25, and how much further there is to go by 45 and entering the big strides of life (kids becoming people, major career progression, etc). Experience makes all the difference (though a few never use it to learn/grow sadly)
This is actually pretty trash advice. On it's surface, "don't be desperate" isn't wrong, but that's not exactly useful. Telling a mostly male audience to take up pool or MMORPGs to meet women is objectively bad advice. If you struggle to date trying to meet women at the local game store, the pool hall, or any other place that is mostly men isn't going to work. If you're not having luck getting dates going to a space with four men per woman is going to virtually guarantee you aren't even close to being the most desirable man there. If you want to give actual advice instead of servicing your own vanity you need to be honest. Men that can't get dates simply are not up to women's standards and need to improve themselves before trying to find someone. I get that Andrew Tate's guru scam purporting to teach men how to convince women to do live camming for them isn't solid dating advice, but this isn't any more realistic and it's not great for women either. Frankly, this advice is going to upset more women even if it's not as harmful. Women do not want unattractive men hassling. The fastest way to get kicked out of a social group is to be an unattractive man that hits on the women in the group. Women are just as shallow as men if not more so. I'm not going to go into all of the details, but if you're overweight, don't dress well, and don't have a solid career women aren't going to be interested even if you share similar interests. That's how you end up being friends with a bunch of women that aren't attracted to you. That's great if you want to have a front row seat to girls you like getting with other men, but not so wonderful if you value your sanity. It's not misogyny to tell men that they need to be what women want if they want to date. You want a girlfriend? Put on some muscle, get down to a maximum 15% bodyfat, dress better, get a respectable job that can provide for a family. Then you should start expanding your social circle looking for women.
Met the husband one day at an arcade. Lad saw a cute girl at a cabinet and thought that'd be a great way to start talking. He did *not* expect to get demolished and hustled so hard. We had a date or two, but mostly stayed friends. Don't wanna sour the mood so I'll skip the interrim, but almost 20 years later, he's still my best friend. Nobody will argue over dumb stuff with me like he will, nobody will tease or annoy me like he does, and I doubt anyone would put up with my absolute goblin nonsense for long, either. Not sure what's more surprising to me, that the dumbarse asked me to marry him, that I said yes, or that it was the best single decision we ever made. All I'm sayin' is... Thor's got the right of it, just talk and interact with people. You get by. And if you don't find love, maybe you'll find friends that make it worth it after all.
Youre a female and therefore your life is on easymode. No man has an easy life as average woman does. Your life experience in dating is equal to that of a male movie star.
So, I got essentially this advice 10 years ago, and took it to heart. I joined a debating club. Joined a writing group. Learned to GM Pathfinder. Joined, then tried my hand at running, a fencing club (foil). I barely made a single friend in that time. I dated one person, by accident, and they ended up stalking my family online. From the replies here, it's clear my experience is unusual. What went wrong? - I live in a town of 2,000 people - I'm homeschooled (the highly-academic, barely-social kind) - I'm possibly some kind of ND (autism, maybe ADHD; I've had trouble pinning it down precisely) - I'm terrible at establishing connections with people. As in, turned up at a conference unable to open my LinkedIn - and not expecting to need it. I'm sure Thor's advice here helps a lot of people, and I still believe there's a kernel of truth in it. But for me, specifically, it's missing something. I wish I knew what.
People like me that dont naturally make connections can easily be seen as dis genuine, im not keen on body language and im sure i can be off putting cause im usually honest to a fault. I live in a well populated and growing area and havent had much luck, when i do i tend to attract the wrong kindof people as well. Idk im at the point where im ok not being ok if that makes sense. It sucks especially if you are in fact high functioning (autistic) because most others have expectations that you think like non autistic individual. Definitely find a doctor that actually studies it and get their diagnosis if you suspect it. Best advice I can offer is trying the "shotgun method" of meeting people in a more populated area, this way if you dont gel with someone, its not a big deal.
You should try to test for adhd or autism. If you do indeed have any disorders, I think its healthy to find out asap. (I have adhd and finally being diagnosed changed my life for the better) I know a lot of people with adhd and autism tend to have more difficulties holding long lasting relationships.
I could see all of those hobbies as situations where talking to each other as yourselves would be rare, especially if you are extremely introverted. For Pathfinder, if you aren't/weren't meeting with the group an hour before to eat then try that. Debate and writing can end up exclusively about the work of you let it.
@@pinkdrink6535 I did get tested for autism, and the psychiatrist told me I could go around saying I was "recently diagnosed with autism", but that they wouldn't formally, paperwork diagnose me. I got the impression the more formal diagnosis was for accessing government support, job assistance, etc., which I don't need anyway. I'm fine in structured environments like the workplace; it's just free-form social interaction I have trouble with.
@@Virtuous_Rogue that sounds very likely. With Pathfinder, I've felt like it can be kind of a placebo social interaction - you interact in-character, and it feels real at the time, but when you leave the game table it has no lasting impact. Meeting for food is a good suggestion. My current RPG group also tends to chat a bit before and after games, which does help I think.
I really liked the nuance here. Don't do something TO meet someone. Go do a thing cause you love it and find community in others who like similar things and it might happen naturally.
Well, you can just go out and try things, maybe something will stick. No one is born with a hobby, everyone had to start at some point. That said, I get it, being a boring person myself. Time and money are also a constraint . It can get rough.
@@steellamasterthen when you decide to go do things you enjoy there's no women around anyways. Not my preference that there's no women into the things I'm into to the point they go to meetups. Autism is a curse.
@@steellamaster I'd say it depends on what you want from the other person. Like how do you envision a relationship and with who? Is it going out and having fun, or both of you staying in your own respective houses and communicating online? Because either one of those choices have their own respective concessions: If the person likes to go out, you'll have to meet them at a middle ground; if the person likes to stay in, you'll have to be the one to take initiative because they'll probably think like yourself that they are doomed
@@depressoespresso6522he'll have to be the one to take the initiative in either of those scenarios unless others see him as valuable enough to put the effort into taking the initiative with themselves.
Also note: 42 is the character code for *. * is a wildcard,, it can mean anything. Thus myself and others like to think 42 was Adam's way of saying the answer to life, the universe and everything...is whatever you want it to be. #SatreFTW #PhilosophyWithThor
For me, it feels extremely hard to just meet people. I go out and play pool with some friends, but we never interact with anyone else. And it feels bad. I've recently created a discord server, and the people I've met are awesome, but we might get one new regular member every few weeks.
The secret is to do the things alone. If you are with friends than you wouldn't give "new" people much attention. I met my wife at a party where I could have spent the whole night just talking with friends but instead I socialized and found a connection with her. Going out with friends is rarely a good chance for meeting new people unless it's a party or otherwise a mixing activity such as dancing.
@@marcthomas6437 Nobody talks to someone who's alone. Being with a group is a prerequisite for anyone to think about talking to you, because if you're not, then it means something must be wrong with you that you don't have any friends to be with. That's at least how it is in some US cities.
Why is this guy a fucking genius?? This man gives the most sage advice ive ever heard. What an absolute legend. Keep inspiring my guy youre a true inspiration to all.
Maybe your sensitivity is too high. Whenever I handwrite something with a mouse (rarely) or draw with the mouse (occasionally) I always turn my sensitivity down
I met mine on bumble, and the main reason we started chatting? I said I loved transformers, and he said he also loved transformers. We share interests in music and TV, I introduced him to my favorite show, and he also loves it. And most importantly? He's kind and respectful of my boundaries and decisions, and I am respectful of his boundaries and decisions as well.
wow, Bumble? Bumble is as much cancer as Tinder. In some countries, you cant even set area range. It tells you that there arent any people nearby, unless you drive 15+km away, then suddenly there are people in the zone you have been in. German and Swiss girls use it mainly as promoting their Instagrams, They also do not understand, that when matched, THEY have to write something first. And even if they do, they usually write just "hi/hello" or a single dot. Just like tinder, premium, which allows you as a man to have some interaction, costs depending on your age. Yes, there is age discrimination in states outside of USA. And as a male, you will have to pay more (my sister was asked for half of the price it tries to ask from me).
I've always thought of bumble. Can you elaborate on your experience with it, prior to meeting your spouse? What was the interaction like? The responsiveness? Any bots? And is it for "Asians" as all of their ads suggest? Sorry for the questions in advance.
@@BAPK1602 Dating apps are for everyone. By asking if they're for Asians, I'm sorry to tell you, but you're a bit racist (perhaps unintentionally) and nobody likes that 😬.
People asking for their boundaries to be respected just sounds like a red flag to me 😐. It's such an obvious thing to want in a relationship that it sounds weird when people praise others for it. It's like "I don't gaslight my partner and he doesn't gaslight me." It'd be weird if either partner did 🧐. It's the same thing with boundaries 🤷♂️.
Something that Thor touched on here but didn't quite lay out fully: If you meet someone you click with while engaging with your hobbies, you have that in common with them. If you meet someone just because you were looking for someone, and that person was also only looking for someone, then "not having someone" was the most you two had in common. That stuff doesn't last. Stay safe, everyone ❤
It great to have stuff in common from the start but in the end you don't marry someone for their hobby, you marry the person you see you future with, if you two love each other and willing to work together to keep the love going, you are good. Maybe trying to keep the love going is something you can have in common. But I know what you talking about too much, I'm my community it not so bizarre to marry young so you can find alot of young women/man who desperate to get married and to meet a partner,
Goddamn rights you did! That's how it's done, son! I've told my daughter a bunch of times, "If you aren't sure a boy would want to hang out with you, ask if he wants to play D&D. I'll make sure you got what you need for it to be fun." D&D is like Soylent Green! It's people! 🤣🤣
This dude is a damn psychic, literally been thinking about this for the past few days since I'm basically personifying the "Forever Alone" meme, and then Thor comes in and drops this hot piece of advice. Thank you Thor.
If you're alone you have so much freedom to go do what YOU want to do. Go find your happiness without a relationship and someone will see that and want to be a part of it. Source: married >10 years
Valid advice. This is also the same reason guys will say that if they were looking, they couldn't find a damn thing, but if they are in a relationship, it's rolling in. It's bc they aren't trying when they already have a relationship, so they're just having fun and being themselves, which girls find attractive
Yeah, that's part of it. But another part is women liking men they know are valuable. And the best way to know if a man is valuable is if he has the interest of other women. Being in a relationship naturally leads to that.
@@angelodecock6280 that implies that women are instinctively homewreckers, which I'm pretty sure is not the case. I'm pretty sure most women won't make advances on you after they know you're taken. I swear, every time someone talks about dating on UA-cam 50 guys come in with the weirdest takes on women.
This is so validating and encouraging to hear. I recently came to a similar realization after enjoying an epic weekend trip with some friends. Been spending so much of my life trying to find "the one" and it's only led to heartbreak and disappointment. Meanwhile, many great things have been happening in my life that I haven't been appreciating as much as I should because I've been too focused on trying to fill that void (or at least recapture that feeling I got the few times I've connected with someone). I realized that my singleness affords me a lot of freedoms I wouldn't normally have as a married man and that I should just embrace that fact and continue creating fun, memorable, and epic experiences for myself. Am I still open to finding someone? Of course, but I'm no longer focused on seeking her out. If it happens it happens, but if it doesn't then I've still got a pretty good life. Appreciate the positive messages, Thor! 🙏
Andrew Tate is honestly destroying young lads, i'm only 24 and almost fell into it, it's so easy to blame money fame etc for your issues in dating. Hoping the kids that have seen that crap see this video. Perfect advice
Huh, I was 25 yesterday and I’ve never had the urge to follow that guy. No judgement, well done for recognising the negative mindset and coming out better for it, but what led you to follow him in the first place? Did he just pop up in your videos and he sorta made sense to you?
@@dylanclarke9497Tate is doing what most of these (usually rightwing) grifters do. They give you an extremely simple reason why it's not your fault that you are single/lonely/unhappy. "It's the womens/foreigners/jews/gays/trans' fault" Because it's what you subconciously want to hear and there are thousands of other people like you agreeing with him, you get roped in. And when you start behaving like Tate around other people, of course they reject you (especially women), which makes you fall for his lies even more.
@@dylanclarke9497 charisma and logical fallacies. Using logic at first to prove a point but that point goes onto something completely illogical but because he uses logic at first you can almost fall for it. That’s why I think young guys fall for his crap
Cos you didn't get his point, and it's fine. He won't be 100% right in everything, but one thing he knows for sure is a hoeflation, where you have mid girls chasing top dudes😂 if you think he wrong about that ask yourself why you was single all thouse years and why girls rejected you or kept you in friends zone 🫡😆
This is so real. In my 20’s when I would regularly find myself between relationships, I realized it was often when I tried the least hardest to find someone, that I often found cooler people
Other advice: A healthy relationship is one where you're both a good part of the other person's life. Focusing on that helps alot more than asking if you're officially "dating" or whatever.
It's funny how 99% of the comments praising the video would disagree with you, because if you're a good part of the other person's life, it means they don't "love themselves enough."
I'm about 10 years older than Thor, and i can confirm that just being places you like to be and having fun with the people you meet is the best way to make friends and find partners. Not being a fucking creep at work is a close second.
Exactly, that's why we have highest rates of single people in history, lowest birthrates ever and almost non-existent marriage rates. You people are speaking out of your ass and just like him, nothing is backed up by data.
Thor couldn't be more correct here. It was when I let go of desperation and started working on myself that my wife to be showed up. As soon as she told me she liked Star Wars and video games, I knew she was the one. We connected through our hobbies just like Thor said, and 3 years later my firstborn son is almost here.
8 years ago I decided to check out a games shop to play dungeons and dragons. I bounced around a few different tables for a few years until I found a group that I became close friends with. About a year after playing with that group I bought tickets to the local fair for me and my best friend. But he couldn't make it due to school, so I invited someone from that group to go with me. We're now a couple that's been together since the start of the pandemic
i was in a bookstore, buying books and tabletop games, when the girl at the checkout asked me if i wanna join their gamenight they do at certain place at certain hour. I told her i can't, because next day i'm leaving again, since i live 1000km away and go there only for vacation few times a year... Thats how it ended.
@@MauiWowieOwie I met my girlfriend online, we would talk about things we shared an interest in and started catching feelings... I must admit its tough being in a long distance thing (I found out she's in Ukraine, while I'm central USA), but she's really precious to me and I think loving her is worth it.
I saw a video of a streamer once who said „take all the things that you look for in a partner, put them on a list and try every day to become that list“. I think it‘s great advice. Focusing on myself and following my passions worked out for me in the end. ❤
Went on a date yesterday for the first time in 10 years. It went well overall. I don’t think it’s going anywhere, but considering how long it’s been, I’m pretty happy with how it went
I still remember that feeling mate. I was out of a 7 years abusive relationship. I felt like garbage. Started dating again after a few months and it felt really awkward but I kept going. Soon after I met a fantastic girl and we clicked on tje first date. Fast forward today, we've been together for 10 years. married for 7 and we have a 6 years old son. My advice, keep going forward friend. Like Thor said in this video, try to have fun and take the positive from this dating experience. Baby steps. Hope everything turns alright for you!
@@Deceneu66thanks. I’m thankful that my reason for being out of the game wasn’t something that hard, and I’m sorry you went through all that. I’m just really bad with women in person. I can’t pick up on signals. So dating apps have been great for me because it takes the guess work out of figuring out if a woman is interested. I’m so glad you found someone and that it’s going so well! That’s incredible and I’m happy for you. Hoping to do the same before too long.
The lack of hobbies isnt the problem on my end. Its the fact that none of them are the "going out and meeting people" type of hobbies. That being said, if you do meet someone you enjoy talking with, having some obscure creative hobby does tend to make for a pretty easy topic to talk about or impress them with.
I get what you’re saying but I met my partner on an online mobile game and we’re both antisocial af. Not sure what your hobbies are but you can definitely still meet someone!
@@dylanclarke9497 Oh dont mind me, I'm not too worried on that front =P I'm a hobby smith, but I also like to dabble in a bunch of other crafts, lots of stuff u can make that people can use with that.
@@dylanclarke9497 Just because you can doesn't mean you're likely to. The unspoken other side to the "get hobbies" advice is "...that your ideal partner would enjoy" at the end. You're just relying on luck otherwise, and luck isn't real.
@@NerdOnTheStreet you can always look at it the other way and see that just because you can’t now doesn’t mean you won’t. Not sure what being negative about it will do for you but defo won’t help you find anyone.
My husband and I met in person doing a hobby, hit it off, he lived some hours away so we hung out playing WoW and other games when we couldnt make the drive to see each other. Meeting people organically instead of forcing it through apps or speed dating and other methods focused primarily on getting a mate will have much better results. :) My husband and I have been together for 14 years. ❤
I almost went with someone I met in a DnD game. We became friends through the game and in later sessions I opened up about other things that I am more interested in. They liked how passionate I was about it and the fact I was getting comfortable. They didn't share my interests, but could see the capacity for really loving something. It helps that they and I were pretty kind and understanding people who didn't take offense at people being weird or different.
You can be as charismatic and as natural as you want but regardless of what you do if there are physically no women around to see you doing things it doesn't matter how little you care about meeting someone.
To quote the advice I heard (from a vtuber of all people): "If you're miserable while you're on your own, you'll still be miserable when you're in a relationship. Having a girlfriend won't fix your self-loathing. You need to find a way to be comfortable in your own skin and love yourself without external validation."
Instructions unclear: I no longer hate myself enough to force myself to try different hobbies that women are interested in just to have a chance of meeting one instead of doing what I actually want to do which has zero interest from women (not my preference but theirs).
@@ecyor0 I mean they don’t fully define it but they definitely play a part. If you can’t reproduce or if you don’t have someone to love, you won’t be as complete a person as someone who at least has the ability to have those things should they decide they want them.
Going to hobbies only hoping to meet somebody, doesn't work. Going to hobbies because you love them, and then also meeting somebody, works so well. Many people struggle to learn that distinction.
There's no women into my hobbies or at least none into any of them enough to get involved in the communities. I've had therapists tell me to drop hobbies and pick up ones I don't enjoy as much just to meet people. Reality is complicated, sometimes you have to go the disingenuous route.
@@Stopaskingwhyandjustreadit What hobbies do you have that are so obscure you've never found women interested in them? I have female friends interested in casual gaming and competitive gaming. In war-hammer. In sci-fi/fantasy novels. In many anime/manga/LNs. In Engineering and Programming. In Wood-Working and Black-Smiting. In Digital and Traditional Painting. And in Martial Arts (mostly HEMA). These a some what broad categories in the end. And these were friends (not people I dated). But still, women I grew close to as I had fun trying out a range of hobbies. You don't have any broad hobbies that would overlap with a lot of people. The only of my interests that I've not seen any woman engage with, is Linguistics and Con-Langing. But Dublin is pretty small, so rolling the dice doesn't go super well here.
@@handsoapincmy biggest hobbies over the last 10 years have been Yu-Gi-Oh (game stores don't have women in attendance unless it's for MtG which I don't enjoy), Fighting games (might be different in your community but I've never so much as seen a woman at an event that was there by choice) and now Beyblade (currently in a lead organiser position, secured multiple sponsors for our biggest event yet leading up to X's release). I was into ballroom dancing for a good while too as I competed in highschool but I'm not really interested in women 20+ years older than me. I'm on the spectrum.
"If you want a relationship, it should be one where you can relate on shit. Find someone with shared interests."- HR91 Glad you give solid advice Thor.
It's ironic isn't it. The only way to go is to let go... it's easy to grasp, but difficult to follow. The world advises the diametrically opposite thing across all areas.
I agree with most of this. But definitely make an effort while you're out to talk to the people, and connect with them. Don't rely on getting something to just land in your lap, you may need to do a little running to catch something good.
Yep, as with most advice, moderation is key and the truth is actually somewhere in the middle. Doing whatever you want without a care won't get you a relationship, nor will seeking one out with no other goals or interests. You need to do both while balancing them against each other (i.e. choosing hobbies that are _likely_ to let you meet someone, and aiming to meet someone who's interested in at least _some_ of your hobbies.)
this is literally how i met my girlfriend. we were part of this writing forum to make ourselves better writers, and eventually we got talking together and loved each others ideas for stories. then, we decided to try and make one of our own together and it grew from there. 😊
It's not like you can't take steps to make it more likely at the same time, though. You can cast your line for as many years as you want but you'll never catch anything if there's nothing there to catch. I don't really like the way this advice is usually phrased, because it's telling people they don't need to be an active participant in the process in order to find somebody. No, you do, you just can't let it be the only reason you interact with anybody.
@@XIIchiron78Yeah, you're right. You should of course work on yourself, and try to improve what you're offering. But what this advice is saying, is that don't try and force it to happen, because desperation is very unflattering. If you're approached and turn out to be a slob or unkind, then you need to work on your personality (try to realize that people want to be treated how you want to be treated). If you're not approached, work on your appearance (work out, dress well, take care of your hygiene). But don't actively pursuit people all the time, of course you can ask someone out occasionally, but don't let it seem like you NEED it. I've hardly been single since I was 12, and I've never had to ask anyone out, or really done anything special to achieve that. I just treat people with respect and kindness.
@@Phelixc The fact that you've "hardly been single since you were 12 and have never had to ask anyone out" makes you almost unqualified to offer advice to people who don't have the same charisma/luck/whatever you credit, imo. You're just listing off things you assume are wrong with people who are single and looking.
@@NerdOnTheStreet I'm not great looking, and I'm not charismatic. And anyone who knows me, would tell you I'm certainly not lucky. What I do possess of skills though, is a calm demeanor and good listening skills which makes women comfortable around me. The fact that I'm not trying to get into their pants at any opportunity is simply enough to lower their guard (and they do have their guard up at all times usually, because of desperate men). In high school I used to be surrounded by girls every recess, because they felt comfortable enough to talk about everything with me. I'd be in a sofa with about ten to fifteen girls, just talking about relationships and day to day life. Most never showed an interest in me romantically, but others liked me for the abilities I had. Just be confident in the fact that what skills you possess, will be something a woman will find attractive. For all the female friends I've had and do have, I've learned this: there is no secret skill or trait that is one sure way to get them interested, every woman has their own preferences. But there is one surefire way to make them shy away, and that is being a pest. Confidence is key, and to find confidence, you have to believe that what you're offering is enough (it very often is). I've heard women talk about wanting nerdy, lanky, short and stocky (not all at the same time necessarily, but you understand what I mean). All traits dating apps would have you believe is undesirable traits. Most of the women I know don't want to use dating apps, because they would be inundated with request from men wanting to get into their pants. Most want a meaningful relationship before the getting into their pants part. So the boring tip that most guys struggling to find a girl hates to hear, is what is being said here: be yourself, put yourself in a position where women can find you and just be respectful. If what you have been doing hasn't worked, broaden your horizon. Join new clubs inside your field of interest (or perhaps even in the fringes of your interests), get some new clothes (if you're bad at it, ask someone you trust for help in finding clothes that you look good in) and be vigilant about your hygiene. You are good enough for someone, you just have to show yourself to that someone.
dont be afraid to engage women/men. try to look at it as "practice" if you ask a person out and they say no, well now you have some experience and maybe approach it differently next time.
As a father of three who didn't have the best parental role models you give the best advice that I want to also pass to my kids. Not just this but so much of what you say is inspiring and I want my kids to be inspired and have the wisdom you pass on.
Yes! Yes! Yes! This is how I've met all my partners (going on 20 years with my current one) and friends. You start with something in common, no pressure, and build on it. Beautiful advice.
Super important but anyone rarely listens to this. You won't get to know people with similar interests at random. and who knows, sometimes you get to know people that know people.
So very much this. I found my partner by literally just chatting in a discord server cause in that period I had a music production hyperfixation and she's a music producer. We started talking over two things: 1. I confused two English slang terms and we started joking about it and 2. we started sharing our experiences with the game RimWorld, which we both play. We started talking and hanging out more, watching stuff together, and lo and behold 4 years later we're still madly in love and working to move in together.
I tried a loooot of online dating but the only thing those apps were useful for in the end was matching with someone I already knew/met recently. It's a good way of asking out/getting asked out by someone you know without the embarrassment if one party isn't interested.
When I was in college, I was desperate to not be single. Finally was like "forget it, I must be trying too hard, I'm just going to enjoy being single." A few months later, met a girl naturally through a friend at a outdoor movie event, got to talking and just really naturally clicked. Became friends and asked her about dating. She had just got out of a bad relationship and needed some time, so I respected those boundaries and told her I was very happy just being friends with her. A few months later she asked me on a date date. We lived together for awhile and then moved to a new state together. We have been happily married for over a decade now and couldn't imagine my life without her.
*Massive* W for you being able and willing to recognize her boundaries, be a legit friend, and wait for her to come to you! :D Glad you two are happy together!
Love this advice. I see it with a lot of friends, they are desperate for a girlfriend. Once they find someone, they like the idea of them more than they actually like the person. Can’t expect to find love if you don’t love yourself :).
Sometimes just the act of expressing your hobby can lead to it I was in the hang out area of my college dorm when my future partner walked up while i was showing people weird indie horror projects. We ended up talking afterwards and i mentioned how i watched a 5 hour video discussing the history of it and i like to distill that info for ppl. They came back the next day, told me they hunted down the video, watched it, and asked if i wanted to talk about it. I said ok but lets grab food. That was our first date and neither of us realized it. We now live together. I'm watching them build a PC right now haha.
Your story makes me so happy! I feel like it exactly embodies what Thor was describing. Also, out of curiosity, what was the 5 hour video? I also dig indie horror stuff and long video essays lol
The issue is that a lot of people stop going out after a certain age. Like if your hobbies are all at home, your 30s very may well look like work-supermarket-home.. then mixing in family/a beer at the pub/discord with mates.
But also remember... this might not work either. So first and foremost try and become content with yourself as an individual. Because if you fail, then at least you're falling back on something you're okay with
Another thing to note is that a relationship is just friendship with extra stuff. You cannot be in a relationship without being in a friendship. WHICH MEANS.... friendship is the best thing to have! No matter where it takes you, cherish it! 🎉🎉🎉
@@theonlyjoe_ Only if you're specifically doing the friendship to try to aim for the relationship. I have a *lot* of lady friends. None of them called me manipulative, one even said I'm the person she felt most safe being around. Because I valued the friendship, and didn't intend to use it to leverage it into a romance. And of those friendships turned into a relationship eventually. Even me, a super oblivious Ace, was able to eventually spot the signals and go "You know, if you wanted to date, I'd be down for that".
So many people ask themselves "what if I put on the tough guy persona and it doesn't work, do I just need to be tougher?" when the real danger is in "what if I put on the tough guy persona and it DOES work?" Congratulations, you now get to spend time with someone you're hiding your real self from. Someone who likes a person that is not you. You'll probably resent them for it. Your choices are "maintain the masquerade and feel alone in your relationship" or "lose yourself in the mask and abandon your personality". Neither of these makes for connection or happiness. Neither is likely to get past a couple dates either, because authenticity does come across in subtle ways. Would you feel comfortable having a relationship with someone you could sense was hiding their true nature from you? By all means, embark on a journey of self improvement. But become a person you want to become, not a person you'll resent yourself and your partner for.
How many people, hearing this kind of advice, are going to go out and get into hobbies they don't actually care about while trying to delude themselves into thinking they "love themselves" when it's really all just a long-term act to find a partner? Isn't it the same thing?
My mindset currently by default is: I will never find someone Effectively, if I find someone, win, but the status quo is that I believe I will always be alone, and thats fine by me - I already accepted that years ago
What I find hard is that every failure - every person I get close to and ask out who rejects me or every date that goes badly - adds a minimum of a few months before I'm going to ask somebody else out, at least in my current situation.
. . . why? You're just people. People hang out. Sometimes they say awkward shit. It doesn't stop you from speaking, does it? Either way, to mix that with Thor's point: have you considered not dating or asking out these people, and instead just chilling with them, allowing whatever is to happen do so naturally?
Met my Husband through my ex. Both times we met. We met in high school and played Minecraft together along with my ex. Then later, we ran into each other again because of a different ex, and we really clicked. We really bonded over Minecraft and gaming in general as well as anime (though he’s a bit of a normie with anime, with his only cultured anime being Evangelion, and the only other anime are FMA, I *think* FMAB, and Naruto. And while FMA and FMAB are both good anime, it’s clear he didn’t watch much anime beyond that and Naruto… oh and Yugioh. So basically not much anime in his repertoire.) We don’t share all the same game enjoyments, but we both bond over games in general and the games we *do* both enjoy. Such as Terraria, Minecraft, Starbound, and Spiral Knights. So while we did technically meet because of my ex, our love of games is what brought us closer together, as well as our love of music and just… our similar values. Also I’m autistic, so I info dumped my whole life like I do with almost any potential friend… I basically speedrun the secret/life sharing that normally comes out over the span of a long time in friendship. And he prefers my sort of autistic, blunt way of talking and the fact that I’m not just agreeable/a people pleaser… anyway, yeah, we got closer through gaming.
It is fascinating to me, how good it feels to hear someone with a good sense of life, speak out healthy perspectives of life. People need to hear this more. I swear to god, people encounter this nowadays way to less. This is a heahlty outview onto life and how to handle our problems.
I love that you didn't exclude online meetings as a method of getting a relationship. Most people seem to look at online relationships with some level of disdain, but they can be just as fulfilling as face-to-face ones. The end goal is still to meet up, but it's not like you're not "really" dating until you do.
JoIn An OnLiNe CoMmUnItY!!! Yeah, no, that was my only option for most of my life and now that 2019/2020 happened the professionals suddenly changed their time from "go outside" to "spend more time online"?
@@StopaskingwhyandjustreaditTHIS. I was a lonely, scared boy until i went into online chatrooms back in 1999. I talked about Anime there (back then it was still very niche) and i met new people i clicked with. The first 4 of my relationships (and probably a dozen hookups) started of by just chatting in these chatrooms or Forums. I've been married for over 12 years now. And yes. I first met my spouse on one of these Forums back in 2001
Finding someone who’s is the complete opposite of you is actually a positive thing as well. They will not only explore your hobbies but then you get to explore theirs. Everyday is an adventure.
100000% BASED ADVICE. I met my husband in an anime discord server of all places while playing video games in VC, in the middle of the pandemic. We're both from different country that are on different continents and after coming to my country and spending 3 months face to face, getting to know each other better, he moved here and now we're 2 years happily married (3 years since deciding to be together). Neither of us were looking for someone, we just happened to be having fun in the same place, at the same time and just connected.
That really is the best dating advice in 60sec. There is always more to learn, but this is arguably the most important part and where a lot of people go wrong.
Hello there! I'm not sure if you'll be able to see/read this, but thank you so much for uploading your playthrough in full to UA-cam. I live on the other side of the world, so catching streams live is something I can't quite do. I've also been super busy so I watch your videos little by little, so as of today, I'm so glad to have finished them all. This game is something special to me, and a good part of it is because of your work in this game. It's empowering and inspiring to me! Thank you so much!! ❤
reminder that dating is not a requirement to be a fully functional adult human person if you’re just not interested in dating right now or ever that is totally OK
Every single dating coach in the world DESTROYED in 60 seconds or less
*Don’t read my name……..*
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??? I guess just speaking general knowledge/common sense is DESTORYING people
Yall turn things into stuff it's not
Alternate title:
And he's 100% right too. Cause you're alot more likely to end up in a lasting relationship since they will actually be compatible unlike when you just go chasing and take anyone that'll take you sorta thing.
@@Linkman8912 Own Tate Any% speedrun
"Don't go around chasing butterflies,
Build a beautiful garden, and let the butterflies come to you"
The butterflies are gonna do what to me???!!?
Well said!
Great saying
@@Pandainapandasuitcom to you and in waves😅😅😅
So, they'll leave when the garden is off season or when it needs tending to?
I like how compassionate he is, like "I know this is going to be really obvious for a lot of people, but some people just don't know".
Exactly. I also like that he mentions that people on video games and chat rooms because there's undoubtedly someone who watches Thor that might have a fear of social interaction, so they find it easier to be themselves in a video game or online.
Pretty much no matter what anyone might say, someone on Earth hasn't heard it before. The mistake is getting us all together on social media and then pretending like everyone's heard it all.
@@MackZZilla And the people who stick to video games or online chat rooms because Thor told them they can find a partner there are 99% less likely to find a partner than anyone doing things IRL. Just because a couple who met in a video game got married once does not mean it's in any way statistically or practically comparable to other forms of meeting people. That point was overly sugar-coated.
The real advice behind "get out and do things you find fun" is that you actually need to do things where you're likely to meet people in your age range of the target sex/gender. If you don't find those things fun, you have to do them anyway, or "learn how to find them fun" if you want to be optimistic about how it works.
@@NerdOnTheStreet Actually, statistically more than half of couples these days meet online. In the US, the figure was something like 65% of all couples (that includes online dating, forums, games etc). Thinking meeting someone online is less likely than doing stuff IRL is such a boomer take at this point. It's about compatibility. If your hobby you enjoy is crocheting or gaming, you're not going to necessarily be more likely to meet someone going out and doing stuff you don't actually like - what, so you could meet someone who likes something you actually have no interest in? That's going to go down like a lead balloon. Not to mention as Thor said if you're there just to meet someone, it's incredibly obvious and reeks of desperation.
Another thing to consider is that a lot of people might be kind of shy or awkward in person, but are far more sociable and relaxed on simply voice chat. I met my own fiancee of 5 years in an online game and because we're both in that space, most of our friend group who are now married or in a long term relationship met each other that way. And yes I understand that personal experience doesn't equate to statistical significance, but the point is you get to know someone a lot better when they can just be themselves and they're not an anxious wreck because they're doing something they don't want to do and have difficulty meeting new people IRL.
@@Futu06 Statistics also show that ~half of U.S. marriages end in divorce, so that figure's not super impressive (especially if it includes dating apps, which are massively broken and only getting worse).
I'm not a "boomer," I'm 25 years old. My own "personal experience" with online games is that most of the time there's not even an active voice chat (if there is one at all), and you're typically cycled out between sets of entirely different players every game. I don't actually consider myself a "gamer" since I don't play very often (it feels like a waste of time unless I'm with other people), but I do play sometimes, and it's alien to me how people could form any sort of meaningful rapport via that medium, let alone a relationship. Many safety features and codes of conduct also seem specifically engineered to prevent breaking through that ephemeral, per-round level of interaction.
Did you, your fiance, and the rest of your actively dating friend group all meet each other _entirely_ online? Did they all just happen to be located within a physically accessible area? Or did you happen to know some of them in person first, and gaming was a way to _stay_ connected?
With regards to "lead balloons," I _hate_ running, I don't enjoy board games that much, and I don't really care about script reading, but I can meet _way_ more women (and people in general) doing any of those things than sitting in front of a screen for hours (still not many, but infinitely greater than zero). Do you think a relationship with someone you met running is going to be based entirely around running for eternity? The best time to meet partners is during school, specifically because that's when you're around other people of your own age _without_ having to come up with a reason why (and because expectations haven't yet risen to the level of "they'd better like all the same things I do"). Hobbies come and go all the time; they don't have to be your personality.
And being "incredibly obvious and reeking of desperation" has lots to do with how you present yourself and very little to do with your actual intentions. I can spot insecure people from a mile away when they're dropping self-deprecating jokes about how they're single all the time-- or, conversely, when they talk about how happy and secure they are to be single all the time, while still falling over themselves to make conversation with any woman that walks into the room. Just because you're lonely and doing things to meet people doesn't mean you have to act that way. Again, it's just less cushy to explain that-- both because it's rude to point out to people when they're being cringe, and because it's legitimately unfortunate that advertising interest is seen as a negative factor. It's much easier and more well-received to just say "do what you like, and you might (or might not) meet someone."
"It's a real shit way to be."
Love the eloquence mixed in wth raw unfiltered truth.
It always amuses me because they claim they are sick of women's games so instead what do they do? They play a game of bingo card thinking if you fill up a checklist you're gonna have a high enough score to automatically get the chicks. You're literally playing a game.
All you are gonna get is other players.
Desperation is a stinky cologne.
*Don’t read my name……..*
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Don't you think its unjust though?
Imagine a situation where there are two men. One of these men is literally dying of thirst. I mean he's wasting away, you can see it clearly. He needs water or he will die soon.
The other man, meanwhile, is sitting comfortably in a nice pool of cool, fresh water surrounded by trees and plants. The man right next to him is dying of thirst, but the dying man is not allowed to drink the fresh water that could save his life because the water is owned by a group of people who like the man currently resting in it and for no apparent or justifiable reason, hate the man who is dying of thirst.
This is unjust, yet it is how our society functions when it comes to mate-pairing. The research out there (from what few sources haven't been ideologically captured) shows that prolonged denial of sexual and emotional intimacy, in general but especially in men, leads to increased emotional and mental instability, increased risk of serious cognitive dysfunction, greatly reduced sense of contentment and wellbeing, and a drastically increased propensity for violence and actual misanthropy.
Our society claims to be oh-so-empathic to the weak and vulnerable, yet when men who are actually weak and vulnerable due to female cruelty and hypergamy ask for help, they are mocked, mistreated, ignored, gaslit, disregarded, and branded as threats to women's safety merely for existing.
You are clearly a perpetual victim.
@@StarboyXL9unfortunately life is not fair, but its the same for men if they see a a girl acting very desperate. The good news is, the faster you get over yourself, the faster you will bounce back.
@@Ge0rge_0rwell Hello foid, I see you.
I met my wife in World of Warcraft.
Big W
*Don’t read my name……..*
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I met my girlfriend in League of Legends
W W W
Trust me bro 💀💀💀
A lot of young men out there need to hear stable voices like this. Thank you for stepping up
I never get bored of seeing Thor shorts on my feed, either hes talking about ferrets, working experience or wisdom of the life.... This man is the best at whats hes doing
Don't forget the cursed knowledge he and chat like to exchange.
Or he's saying "you can eat my whole ass" to some character in a video game, and I'm here for it
Or ruining your perception of life by figuring out that & is a stick figure dragging its ass.....
a literal god
@@yevgeniykhakhaev9788 thanks for the reminder, I had almost managed to forget this one
I like that Thor woke up one day and went "imma be one of the most wholesome and educational channels of the internet" and just goes and does it
Thor gets me stoked on life. I don't know how to put my finger on it, but he is the truth. Not many creators out there are doing anything like him.
He didn't go looking to be the wholesome channel. He just is doing what he loves.
.... :P
@@master1442p what are you defining as a "problem"? Being single? Cause if that's the case, if you view being single as a problem, that's the desperation he was talking about. If you think someone joining you in life is a "fix" for your "problem" then you're missing the message and point. You don't find someone by making that your goal. You find someone by making connections, connections based off of mutual interests and personalities.
Let me ask you this, do you have a close friend? A best friend? If so, did you go searching for someone to be your best friend?
Think on that.
@@master1442p being single isn’t a problem, relationships are built on compatibility, respect, and communication. You won’t find that chasing after people, you find it by fostering a community and being a respectful person.
I think he woke up every day and did that
Thor destroying Tate's "alpha" argument is absolute perfection
ALPHA isn't a thing, at all, not even in wolves like those losers will claim the dude who did the "study that proves that they do have alpha behavior" was done in captivity, when a colleague of the man doing it mentioned this afterward, he redid it in nature to verify, finding that in fact no, in nature that behavior is not exhibited, turns out it's just captivity, you put a bunch of animals in an area with limited resources and a fixed influx and yes a hierarchy will form quite easily, he's been trying to disprove it ever since :(
That's what being full-release lets you do💪
He didn't destroy any of Tate's arguments lol
He simply disagreed. Not to say Tate's arguments are hard to destroy. If I sat down with him, it'd be an easy win. He'd resort to name-calling and talking down to me. That's all he can do. Dude doesn't have an ounce of intelligence or logic.
Focus on improving yourself and don't go chasing women 🤔
@@bradleyamos9519 Is the alpha male hobby just about making superficial gains like money or cars, then?
This is great because even if you don't end up finding romance, you can still end up with some pretty great friends this way
Translation: This is great because even though it's bad advice, it's good advice for something different than what it's supposedly about.
@@NerdOnTheStreet - How does that make it bad advice? Just because it has positive side effects regardless of whether or not you're successful doesn't mean it's bad advice.
There is no "method" that's 100% successful. Even if it's 90% successful, that's still 10% of failures, and 90% is absurdly high. Those 10% would still be better served by doing it this way where they'd incidentally make other friends than the method of being a toxic bitter asshole who refuses introspection. That way won't work for dating, and also has the side effect of pushing friends away from you for being a garbage person to hang out with in general.
@@KingBobXVI The point of advice is to advise on how to do something/get somewhere/etc. If the advice doesn't actually increase your chances of success, then it's bad advice.
Consider this: I want advice on how to better manage floor space in my living room. A UA-camr says, "paint your walls blue. Even though you might not have a better-managed floor, at least you'll have pretty blue walls." That advice is bad because it doesn't answer the question I asked, and it instead gives me an unsolicited prescription about something else.
More broadly telling people not to be "toxic bitter assholes" is slightly more sound advice, although if you're going to call people who have an issue with the practicality of some advice "toxic bitter assholes," I have to wonder how positive of a person you really are yourself.
(What you're really doing is projecting a negative idea of a person onto anyone who's single against their desire, which lets you both bolster confidence in your non-working advice and avoid considering larger societal reasons why people might not be able to find partners when it should statistically be easier than ever.)
Bro it really isn't that deep. @@NerdOnTheStreet
@@pinkdrink6535 Don't read it then, bro.
This is always the advice I give - stop TRYING to find a date. It should be passive, not active. Great advice
I’m convinced this guy has ZERO bad takes.
His take on TikTok being forced to sell is flat out incorrect. It's his only "bad" opinion I am aware of.
But then, he has no experience in targeted behavioral analytics, so he isn't fully aware of how devastating and dangerous it can be. It is an extraordinarily powerful method of radicalizing people to become hateful and encourage them to commit acts of violence against a society or segments of society.
A hostile foreign government having that power over our populace is unacceptable. It is also unacceptable for China to have direct access to GPS data which exposes who works in federal buildings, courthouses, and infrastructure.
edit:
I responded, but it is not showing up. Very suspicious it's not showing up. Cyberdemon's response was full of logical fallacies and I explained why. If someone is invoking the "no politics rule". First, that's for Discord and live stream chatrooms. Second, this is not politics. Politics involves politicians and elections. There is no politician or election here. This is foreign affairs or foreign relations subject. No rule banning foreign affairs or foreign relations talk.
@@potato9832no one is 100% but he’s closer than anyone I’ve ever seen 😆. My understanding of his TikTok take that TikTok being forced to sell is not ideal simply because we trade one governments snooping for anothers. clearly the USA in control is a lesser of two evils but he’s saying that is also wrong for reasons, which yea I can see. I’m just not that distrustful of all things government when it comes to the US or governments in general. but you have to really get into the weeds if we start talking about government, so it’s easier to just be on guard when it comes to moves any government makes. All that said, yea I’d rather have TikTok not be a national security threat but being forced to sell still has some stink on it at a base level.
@@potato9832 Your viewpoint would be valid had the govt. not publicly admitted that they're banning it specifically because they couldn't control the Isntreal-Palestine war narrative.
@cyberdemon1702 USA is not in control of private corporations. In China, corporations are always controlled by government. In USA, corporations are regulated by state laws allowing for submitting articles of formation and licensing. The federal government regulates imports, exports, and taxation. There is NO control of the operations by state or federal government. There is a universe of difference between control and regulate.
Justifying China's ability to manipulate and social engineer Americans by invoking "USA spies too" is a bad argument. For one, it's a tu quoque fallacy. Two, USA is not hostile to itself or Americans. China is hostile to USA and Americans. (A false equivalency fallacy.) Third, this is not about spying. It's about the ability to manipulate. (A red herring fallacy.)
There is no stink about being forced to sell. This is not a free speech violation. Corporations don't get free speech let alone a foreign corporation; let alone a foreign corporation controlled by a hostile foreign government.
This is not overreach, because the federal government places embargos and import/export restrictions on a long list of products and services. It is 100% within the purview of the US government to regulate harmful products and services entering or operating within the US
edit: Removed the "attitude".
@@cyberdemon1702 I responded, but it is not showing up. If this is censorship, that's really, really bad.
This man can dish out great advice for any topic
*Don’t read my name……..*
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he's clearly been thru some shit
@@DontReadMyProfilePicture102 ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Experience can take you a long way. I'm in that middle ground at 35, and I can see how little I could see at 25, and how much further there is to go by 45 and entering the big strides of life (kids becoming people, major career progression, etc).
Experience makes all the difference (though a few never use it to learn/grow sadly)
This is actually pretty trash advice. On it's surface, "don't be desperate" isn't wrong, but that's not exactly useful. Telling a mostly male audience to take up pool or MMORPGs to meet women is objectively bad advice.
If you struggle to date trying to meet women at the local game store, the pool hall, or any other place that is mostly men isn't going to work. If you're not having luck getting dates going to a space with four men per woman is going to virtually guarantee you aren't even close to being the most desirable man there. If you want to give actual advice instead of servicing your own vanity you need to be honest. Men that can't get dates simply are not up to women's standards and need to improve themselves before trying to find someone.
I get that Andrew Tate's guru scam purporting to teach men how to convince women to do live camming for them isn't solid dating advice, but this isn't any more realistic and it's not great for women either. Frankly, this advice is going to upset more women even if it's not as harmful. Women do not want unattractive men hassling. The fastest way to get kicked out of a social group is to be an unattractive man that hits on the women in the group.
Women are just as shallow as men if not more so. I'm not going to go into all of the details, but if you're overweight, don't dress well, and don't have a solid career women aren't going to be interested even if you share similar interests. That's how you end up being friends with a bunch of women that aren't attracted to you. That's great if you want to have a front row seat to girls you like getting with other men, but not so wonderful if you value your sanity. It's not misogyny to tell men that they need to be what women want if they want to date.
You want a girlfriend? Put on some muscle, get down to a maximum 15% bodyfat, dress better, get a respectable job that can provide for a family. Then you should start expanding your social circle looking for women.
Met the husband one day at an arcade. Lad saw a cute girl at a cabinet and thought that'd be a great way to start talking. He did *not* expect to get demolished and hustled so hard. We had a date or two, but mostly stayed friends. Don't wanna sour the mood so I'll skip the interrim, but almost 20 years later, he's still my best friend. Nobody will argue over dumb stuff with me like he will, nobody will tease or annoy me like he does, and I doubt anyone would put up with my absolute goblin nonsense for long, either.
Not sure what's more surprising to me, that the dumbarse asked me to marry him, that I said yes, or that it was the best single decision we ever made. All I'm sayin' is... Thor's got the right of it, just talk and interact with people. You get by. And if you don't find love, maybe you'll find friends that make it worth it after all.
Youre a female and therefore your life is on easymode. No man has an easy life as average woman does. Your life experience in dating is equal to that of a male movie star.
Hey, good for you. And always. Always. Keep up the goblin nonsense. Have a good day :)
So, I got essentially this advice 10 years ago, and took it to heart. I joined a debating club. Joined a writing group. Learned to GM Pathfinder. Joined, then tried my hand at running, a fencing club (foil).
I barely made a single friend in that time. I dated one person, by accident, and they ended up stalking my family online.
From the replies here, it's clear my experience is unusual. What went wrong?
- I live in a town of 2,000 people
- I'm homeschooled (the highly-academic, barely-social kind)
- I'm possibly some kind of ND (autism, maybe ADHD; I've had trouble pinning it down precisely)
- I'm terrible at establishing connections with people. As in, turned up at a conference unable to open my LinkedIn - and not expecting to need it.
I'm sure Thor's advice here helps a lot of people, and I still believe there's a kernel of truth in it. But for me, specifically, it's missing something. I wish I knew what.
People like me that dont naturally make connections can easily be seen as dis genuine, im not keen on body language and im sure i can be off putting cause im usually honest to a fault.
I live in a well populated and growing area and havent had much luck, when i do i tend to attract the wrong kindof people as well. Idk im at the point where im ok not being ok if that makes sense.
It sucks especially if you are in fact high functioning (autistic) because most others have expectations that you think like non autistic individual. Definitely find a doctor that actually studies it and get their diagnosis if you suspect it.
Best advice I can offer is trying the "shotgun method" of meeting people in a more populated area, this way if you dont gel with someone, its not a big deal.
You should try to test for adhd or autism. If you do indeed have any disorders, I think its healthy to find out asap. (I have adhd and finally being diagnosed changed my life for the better)
I know a lot of people with adhd and autism tend to have more difficulties holding long lasting relationships.
I could see all of those hobbies as situations where talking to each other as yourselves would be rare, especially if you are extremely introverted. For Pathfinder, if you aren't/weren't meeting with the group an hour before to eat then try that. Debate and writing can end up exclusively about the work of you let it.
@@pinkdrink6535 I did get tested for autism, and the psychiatrist told me I could go around saying I was "recently diagnosed with autism", but that they wouldn't formally, paperwork diagnose me.
I got the impression the more formal diagnosis was for accessing government support, job assistance, etc., which I don't need anyway. I'm fine in structured environments like the workplace; it's just free-form social interaction I have trouble with.
@@Virtuous_Rogue that sounds very likely. With Pathfinder, I've felt like it can be kind of a placebo social interaction - you interact in-character, and it feels real at the time, but when you leave the game table it has no lasting impact.
Meeting for food is a good suggestion. My current RPG group also tends to chat a bit before and after games, which does help I think.
I really liked the nuance here. Don't do something TO meet someone. Go do a thing cause you love it and find community in others who like similar things and it might happen naturally.
Wait so if I naturally don’t go out and do things I’m just kinda doomed to that for eternity? That’s rough.
Well, you can just go out and try things, maybe something will stick. No one is born with a hobby, everyone had to start at some point.
That said, I get it, being a boring person myself. Time and money are also a constraint . It can get rough.
@@steellamasterthen when you decide to go do things you enjoy there's no women around anyways. Not my preference that there's no women into the things I'm into to the point they go to meetups. Autism is a curse.
@@steellamaster I'd say it depends on what you want from the other person. Like how do you envision a relationship and with who? Is it going out and having fun, or both of you staying in your own respective houses and communicating online? Because either one of those choices have their own respective concessions: If the person likes to go out, you'll have to meet them at a middle ground; if the person likes to stay in, you'll have to be the one to take initiative because they'll probably think like yourself that they are doomed
@@depressoespresso6522he'll have to be the one to take the initiative in either of those scenarios unless others see him as valuable enough to put the effort into taking the initiative with themselves.
He's like "Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy" which tells you: do not panic, everything will be OK.
Just don't forget your towel
42!!
If you can, also get yourself a Babel fish to translate women-speak
Also note: 42 is the character code for *.
* is a wildcard,, it can mean anything. Thus myself and others like to think 42 was Adam's way of saying the answer to life, the universe and everything...is whatever you want it to be.
#SatreFTW #PhilosophyWithThor
This is quality advice, once my wife and stopped worrying about finding someone we found each other. It's been 17 years now.
The same happened to me and my wife. We're together more than 10 years already
For me, it feels extremely hard to just meet people. I go out and play pool with some friends, but we never interact with anyone else.
And it feels bad. I've recently created a discord server, and the people I've met are awesome, but we might get one new regular member every few weeks.
The secret is to do the things alone. If you are with friends than you wouldn't give "new" people much attention.
I met my wife at a party where I could have spent the whole night just talking with friends but instead I socialized and found a connection with her.
Going out with friends is rarely a good chance for meeting new people unless it's a party or otherwise a mixing activity such as dancing.
@@marcthomas6437 Nobody talks to someone who's alone. Being with a group is a prerequisite for anyone to think about talking to you, because if you're not, then it means something must be wrong with you that you don't have any friends to be with. That's at least how it is in some US cities.
Why is this guy a fucking genius?? This man gives the most sage advice ive ever heard. What an absolute legend. Keep inspiring my guy youre a true inspiration to all.
This guy's writing with a mouse on ms paint is making me think that my hands are just transplants that my body partially rejects
wait a minute-he's using a MOUSE?!
@@davidshi451 not really , he has a scroll ball mouse
Maybe your sensitivity is too high. Whenever I handwrite something with a mouse (rarely) or draw with the mouse (occasionally) I always turn my sensitivity down
..You know the term "practice makes perfect"..?
Dude probably has an electronic sketch pad to accomplish the writing stuff.
I met mine on bumble, and the main reason we started chatting? I said I loved transformers, and he said he also loved transformers. We share interests in music and TV, I introduced him to my favorite show, and he also loves it. And most importantly? He's kind and respectful of my boundaries and decisions, and I am respectful of his boundaries and decisions as well.
Hell yeah
wow, Bumble? Bumble is as much cancer as Tinder. In some countries, you cant even set area range. It tells you that there arent any people nearby, unless you drive 15+km away, then suddenly there are people in the zone you have been in. German and Swiss girls use it mainly as promoting their Instagrams, They also do not understand, that when matched, THEY have to write something first. And even if they do, they usually write just "hi/hello" or a single dot. Just like tinder, premium, which allows you as a man to have some interaction, costs depending on your age. Yes, there is age discrimination in states outside of USA. And as a male, you will have to pay more (my sister was asked for half of the price it tries to ask from me).
I've always thought of bumble. Can you elaborate on your experience with it, prior to meeting your spouse? What was the interaction like? The responsiveness? Any bots? And is it for "Asians" as all of their ads suggest?
Sorry for the questions in advance.
@@BAPK1602 Dating apps are for everyone. By asking if they're for Asians, I'm sorry to tell you, but you're a bit racist (perhaps unintentionally) and nobody likes that 😬.
People asking for their boundaries to be respected just sounds like a red flag to me 😐. It's such an obvious thing to want in a relationship that it sounds weird when people praise others for it. It's like "I don't gaslight my partner and he doesn't gaslight me." It'd be weird if either partner did 🧐. It's the same thing with boundaries 🤷♂️.
I love how the best dating advice I've ever heard is from an old game dev guy
Listen to this. This advice is GOLD. This is how you create a connection, not just attraction, with people.
Something that Thor touched on here but didn't quite lay out fully:
If you meet someone you click with while engaging with your hobbies, you have that in common with them. If you meet someone just because you were looking for someone, and that person was also only looking for someone, then "not having someone" was the most you two had in common. That stuff doesn't last. Stay safe, everyone ❤
It great to have stuff in common from the start but in the end you don't marry someone for their hobby, you marry the person you see you future with, if you two love each other and willing to work together to keep the love going, you are good.
Maybe trying to keep the love going is something you can have in common.
But I know what you talking about too much, I'm my community it not so bizarre to marry young so you can find alot of young women/man who desperate to get married and to meet a partner,
I met my soon to be wife while selling her friends on a D&D campaign 😂😅
Now THAT is a story to tell the grandkids, followed by telling them about D&D and getting them into a campaign
@@tiagobelo4965 and then sell them
Online or in person?
Goddamn rights you did! That's how it's done, son!
I've told my daughter a bunch of times, "If you aren't sure a boy would want to hang out with you, ask if he wants to play D&D. I'll make sure you got what you need for it to be fun."
D&D is like Soylent Green! It's people! 🤣🤣
Selling her friends 🤨? What does that mean?
I already knew he was good but, my god this man may be the wisest man alive.
Dude's got such a smooth voice 😂
This dude is a damn psychic, literally been thinking about this for the past few days since I'm basically personifying the "Forever Alone" meme, and then Thor comes in and drops this hot piece of advice. Thank you Thor.
If you're alone you have so much freedom to go do what YOU want to do. Go find your happiness without a relationship and someone will see that and want to be a part of it.
Source: married >10 years
@@j0a3k It must be so easy to give this kind of advice on not seeking out a relationship when you're already married.
Valid advice. This is also the same reason guys will say that if they were looking, they couldn't find a damn thing, but if they are in a relationship, it's rolling in. It's bc they aren't trying when they already have a relationship, so they're just having fun and being themselves, which girls find attractive
It's also a psychological thing, women participate in mate poaching more than men. It's because the man has already been vetted by another woman.
*Don’t read my name……..*
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Yeah, that's part of it. But another part is women liking men they know are valuable. And the best way to know if a man is valuable is if he has the interest of other women. Being in a relationship naturally leads to that.
That is NOT what it is
God you people are so naive it’s hilarious.
( women like men other women like. They literally chase down married men)
@@angelodecock6280 that implies that women are instinctively homewreckers, which I'm pretty sure is not the case. I'm pretty sure most women won't make advances on you after they know you're taken. I swear, every time someone talks about dating on UA-cam 50 guys come in with the weirdest takes on women.
This is so validating and encouraging to hear. I recently came to a similar realization after enjoying an epic weekend trip with some friends. Been spending so much of my life trying to find "the one" and it's only led to heartbreak and disappointment. Meanwhile, many great things have been happening in my life that I haven't been appreciating as much as I should because I've been too focused on trying to fill that void (or at least recapture that feeling I got the few times I've connected with someone). I realized that my singleness affords me a lot of freedoms I wouldn't normally have as a married man and that I should just embrace that fact and continue creating fun, memorable, and epic experiences for myself. Am I still open to finding someone? Of course, but I'm no longer focused on seeking her out. If it happens it happens, but if it doesn't then I've still got a pretty good life. Appreciate the positive messages, Thor! 🙏
I needed this, thank you Thor. Sometimes it's easy to lose sight of the simplest concepts
Andrew Tate is honestly destroying young lads, i'm only 24 and almost fell into it, it's so easy to blame money fame etc for your issues in dating. Hoping the kids that have seen that crap see this video. Perfect advice
At this point, we don't need to say the Tate brothers are "alleged" rapists and traffickers. Those two are truthfully subhuman garbage.
Huh, I was 25 yesterday and I’ve never had the urge to follow that guy. No judgement, well done for recognising the negative mindset and coming out better for it, but what led you to follow him in the first place? Did he just pop up in your videos and he sorta made sense to you?
@@dylanclarke9497Tate is doing what most of these (usually rightwing) grifters do.
They give you an extremely simple reason why it's not your fault that you are single/lonely/unhappy.
"It's the womens/foreigners/jews/gays/trans' fault"
Because it's what you subconciously want to hear and there are thousands of other people like you agreeing with him, you get roped in.
And when you start behaving like Tate around other people, of course they reject you (especially women), which makes you fall for his lies even more.
@@dylanclarke9497 charisma and logical fallacies. Using logic at first to prove a point but that point goes onto something completely illogical but because he uses logic at first you can almost fall for it. That’s why I think young guys fall for his crap
Cos you didn't get his point, and it's fine. He won't be 100% right in everything, but one thing he knows for sure is a hoeflation, where you have mid girls chasing top dudes😂 if you think he wrong about that ask yourself why you was single all thouse years and why girls rejected you or kept you in friends zone 🫡😆
That's the best handwritten word he's ever written
LMAO! I noticed that too.
I think it's cuz he's actually trying for once instead of just writing it quickly for illustrative purposes
Probably one of the few influencers who actually speaks real common sense
This is so real. In my 20’s when I would regularly find myself between relationships, I realized it was often when I tried the least hardest to find someone, that I often found cooler people
Other advice: A healthy relationship is one where you're both a good part of the other person's life. Focusing on that helps alot more than asking if you're officially "dating" or whatever.
Some of the best relationships I’ve witnessed never started out as a relationship. Just two friends supporting eachother.
It's funny how 99% of the comments praising the video would disagree with you, because if you're a good part of the other person's life, it means they don't "love themselves enough."
I'm about 10 years older than Thor, and i can confirm that just being places you like to be and having fun with the people you meet is the best way to make friends and find partners.
Not being a fucking creep at work is a close second.
Exactly, that's why we have highest rates of single people in history, lowest birthrates ever and almost non-existent marriage rates. You people are speaking out of your ass and just like him, nothing is backed up by data.
Thor couldn't be more correct here. It was when I let go of desperation and started working on myself that my wife to be showed up. As soon as she told me she liked Star Wars and video games, I knew she was the one. We connected through our hobbies just like Thor said, and 3 years later my firstborn son is almost here.
8 years ago I decided to check out a games shop to play dungeons and dragons. I bounced around a few different tables for a few years until I found a group that I became close friends with.
About a year after playing with that group I bought tickets to the local fair for me and my best friend. But he couldn't make it due to school, so I invited someone from that group to go with me.
We're now a couple that's been together since the start of the pandemic
Cute story, I hope you two keep getting along well!
i was in a bookstore, buying books and tabletop games, when the girl at the checkout asked me if i wanna join their gamenight they do at certain place at certain hour. I told her i can't, because next day i'm leaving again, since i live 1000km away and go there only for vacation few times a year... Thats how it ended.
@GhostAeonWolf you can still keep in touch. talk online. you never know how things can end up.
@@MauiWowieOwie I met my girlfriend online, we would talk about things we shared an interest in and started catching feelings... I must admit its tough being in a long distance thing (I found out she's in Ukraine, while I'm central USA), but she's really precious to me and I think loving her is worth it.
@Armament0fJustice congrats on finding love man. Hope you two can get together in person in the near future!
I saw a video of a streamer once who said „take all the things that you look for in a partner, put them on a list and try every day to become that list“. I think it‘s great advice. Focusing on myself and following my passions worked out for me in the end. ❤
This sounds like good advice. Now I just need to work out what I look for in a partner ...
@@aracheldra8763 -Girl (Optional)
-Alive (Optional)
-Goblin
The real Thor here. Ran out of giants to slay, still helping mankind. Thanks, Odinson!
Went on a date yesterday for the first time in 10 years. It went well overall. I don’t think it’s going anywhere, but considering how long it’s been, I’m pretty happy with how it went
Pat on your back! Having the courage to do that puts you ahead of a lot of people.
Worst case scenario, you had a good time.
I still remember that feeling mate. I was out of a 7 years abusive relationship. I felt like garbage. Started dating again after a few months and it felt really awkward but I kept going. Soon after I met a fantastic girl and we clicked on tje first date. Fast forward today, we've been together for 10 years. married for 7 and we have a 6 years old son.
My advice, keep going forward friend. Like Thor said in this video, try to have fun and take the positive from this dating experience. Baby steps. Hope everything turns alright for you!
Good stuff mate
@@Deceneu66thanks. I’m thankful that my reason for being out of the game wasn’t something that hard, and I’m sorry you went through all that. I’m just really bad with women in person. I can’t pick up on signals. So dating apps have been great for me because it takes the guess work out of figuring out if a woman is interested.
I’m so glad you found someone and that it’s going so well! That’s incredible and I’m happy for you. Hoping to do the same before too long.
The lack of hobbies isnt the problem on my end. Its the fact that none of them are the "going out and meeting people" type of hobbies.
That being said, if you do meet someone you enjoy talking with, having some obscure creative hobby does tend to make for a pretty easy topic to talk about or impress them with.
Until they get bored of pretending they don't judge or understand it.
I get what you’re saying but I met my partner on an online mobile game and we’re both antisocial af. Not sure what your hobbies are but you can definitely still meet someone!
@@dylanclarke9497 Oh dont mind me, I'm not too worried on that front =P
I'm a hobby smith, but I also like to dabble in a bunch of other crafts, lots of stuff u can make that people can use with that.
@@dylanclarke9497 Just because you can doesn't mean you're likely to. The unspoken other side to the "get hobbies" advice is "...that your ideal partner would enjoy" at the end. You're just relying on luck otherwise, and luck isn't real.
@@NerdOnTheStreet you can always look at it the other way and see that just because you can’t now doesn’t mean you won’t. Not sure what being negative about it will do for you but defo won’t help you find anyone.
I've been doing things for 20 years.
Turns out you gotta actually talk to people while you do things.
People who are introverted: *my worst nightmare*
My husband and I met in person doing a hobby, hit it off, he lived some hours away so we hung out playing WoW and other games when we couldnt make the drive to see each other. Meeting people organically instead of forcing it through apps or speed dating and other methods focused primarily on getting a mate will have much better results. :)
My husband and I have been together for 14 years. ❤
I almost went with someone I met in a DnD game. We became friends through the game and in later sessions I opened up about other things that I am more interested in. They liked how passionate I was about it and the fact I was getting comfortable. They didn't share my interests, but could see the capacity for really loving something. It helps that they and I were pretty kind and understanding people who didn't take offense at people being weird or different.
Dismantling dating coaches and the Andrew Tate stereotype in less than a minute.
Well done sir, respect!
You can be as charismatic and as natural as you want but regardless of what you do if there are physically no women around to see you doing things it doesn't matter how little you care about meeting someone.
One of the only creators to give genuine advice and care for their audience. Thank you pirate boy, thank you for the advice.
Okay so this is probably some of the absolute best advice you could give on dating thank you Thorithan
To quote the advice I heard (from a vtuber of all people):
"If you're miserable while you're on your own, you'll still be miserable when you're in a relationship. Having a girlfriend won't fix your self-loathing. You need to find a way to be comfortable in your own skin and love yourself without external validation."
Instructions unclear: I no longer hate myself enough to force myself to try different hobbies that women are interested in just to have a chance of meeting one instead of doing what I actually want to do which has zero interest from women (not my preference but theirs).
Ok but when the source of that uncomfortability is from a lack of relationships, you’re screwed
@@theonlyjoe_ Which is when you need to unlearn the lie that relationships are what define your value.
@@ecyor0 I mean they don’t fully define it but they definitely play a part. If you can’t reproduce or if you don’t have someone to love, you won’t be as complete a person as someone who at least has the ability to have those things should they decide they want them.
Going to hobbies only hoping to meet somebody, doesn't work.
Going to hobbies because you love them, and then also meeting somebody, works so well.
Many people struggle to learn that distinction.
There's no women into my hobbies or at least none into any of them enough to get involved in the communities. I've had therapists tell me to drop hobbies and pick up ones I don't enjoy as much just to meet people. Reality is complicated, sometimes you have to go the disingenuous route.
@@Stopaskingwhyandjustreadit What hobbies do you have that are so obscure you've never found women interested in them?
I have female friends interested in casual gaming and competitive gaming. In war-hammer. In sci-fi/fantasy novels. In many anime/manga/LNs. In Engineering and Programming. In Wood-Working and Black-Smiting. In Digital and Traditional Painting. And in Martial Arts (mostly HEMA).
These a some what broad categories in the end. And these were friends (not people I dated). But still, women I grew close to as I had fun trying out a range of hobbies. You don't have any broad hobbies that would overlap with a lot of people.
The only of my interests that I've not seen any woman engage with, is Linguistics and Con-Langing. But Dublin is pretty small, so rolling the dice doesn't go super well here.
@@handsoapincmy biggest hobbies over the last 10 years have been Yu-Gi-Oh (game stores don't have women in attendance unless it's for MtG which I don't enjoy), Fighting games (might be different in your community but I've never so much as seen a woman at an event that was there by choice) and now Beyblade (currently in a lead organiser position, secured multiple sponsors for our biggest event yet leading up to X's release). I was into ballroom dancing for a good while too as I competed in highschool but I'm not really interested in women 20+ years older than me. I'm on the spectrum.
@@Stopaskingwhyandjustreaditwhat kind of disturbing things are you into?
@@godlygamer911I posted a reply to the other guy 10 minutes ago but I guess my experience is invalid
"If you want a relationship,
it should be one where you can relate on shit.
Find someone with shared interests."- HR91
Glad you give solid advice Thor.
Took me more than 20 years to realize this fully.
It's ironic isn't it. The only way to go is to let go... it's easy to grasp, but difficult to follow. The world advises the diametrically opposite thing across all areas.
TL;DL: Procedure for finding a bf/gf is equal to making a new friend
"you just have to do things..."
Me: [internal death screams]
I agree with most of this. But definitely make an effort while you're out to talk to the people, and connect with them. Don't rely on getting something to just land in your lap, you may need to do a little running to catch something good.
Yep, as with most advice, moderation is key and the truth is actually somewhere in the middle. Doing whatever you want without a care won't get you a relationship, nor will seeking one out with no other goals or interests. You need to do both while balancing them against each other (i.e. choosing hobbies that are _likely_ to let you meet someone, and aiming to meet someone who's interested in at least _some_ of your hobbies.)
this is literally how i met my girlfriend. we were part of this writing forum to make ourselves better writers, and eventually we got talking together and loved each others ideas for stories. then, we decided to try and make one of our own together and it grew from there. 😊
This is the truth of it, anyone struggling should take this advice to heart. Let it happen, don't pursuit it.
It's not like you can't take steps to make it more likely at the same time, though. You can cast your line for as many years as you want but you'll never catch anything if there's nothing there to catch.
I don't really like the way this advice is usually phrased, because it's telling people they don't need to be an active participant in the process in order to find somebody. No, you do, you just can't let it be the only reason you interact with anybody.
@@XIIchiron78Yeah, you're right. You should of course work on yourself, and try to improve what you're offering. But what this advice is saying, is that don't try and force it to happen, because desperation is very unflattering.
If you're approached and turn out to be a slob or unkind, then you need to work on your personality (try to realize that people want to be treated how you want to be treated). If you're not approached, work on your appearance (work out, dress well, take care of your hygiene).
But don't actively pursuit people all the time, of course you can ask someone out occasionally, but don't let it seem like you NEED it.
I've hardly been single since I was 12, and I've never had to ask anyone out, or really done anything special to achieve that. I just treat people with respect and kindness.
@@Phelixc The fact that you've "hardly been single since you were 12 and have never had to ask anyone out" makes you almost unqualified to offer advice to people who don't have the same charisma/luck/whatever you credit, imo. You're just listing off things you assume are wrong with people who are single and looking.
@@NerdOnTheStreet I'm not great looking, and I'm not charismatic. And anyone who knows me, would tell you I'm certainly not lucky. What I do possess of skills though, is a calm demeanor and good listening skills which makes women comfortable around me.
The fact that I'm not trying to get into their pants at any opportunity is simply enough to lower their guard (and they do have their guard up at all times usually, because of desperate men). In high school I used to be surrounded by girls every recess, because they felt comfortable enough to talk about everything with me. I'd be in a sofa with about ten to fifteen girls, just talking about relationships and day to day life. Most never showed an interest in me romantically, but others liked me for the abilities I had. Just be confident in the fact that what skills you possess, will be something a woman will find attractive.
For all the female friends I've had and do have, I've learned this: there is no secret skill or trait that is one sure way to get them interested, every woman has their own preferences. But there is one surefire way to make them shy away, and that is being a pest. Confidence is key, and to find confidence, you have to believe that what you're offering is enough (it very often is). I've heard women talk about wanting nerdy, lanky, short and stocky (not all at the same time necessarily, but you understand what I mean). All traits dating apps would have you believe is undesirable traits. Most of the women I know don't want to use dating apps, because they would be inundated with request from men wanting to get into their pants. Most want a meaningful relationship before the getting into their pants part.
So the boring tip that most guys struggling to find a girl hates to hear, is what is being said here: be yourself, put yourself in a position where women can find you and just be respectful. If what you have been doing hasn't worked, broaden your horizon. Join new clubs inside your field of interest (or perhaps even in the fringes of your interests), get some new clothes (if you're bad at it, ask someone you trust for help in finding clothes that you look good in) and be vigilant about your hygiene. You are good enough for someone, you just have to show yourself to that someone.
dont be afraid to engage women/men. try to look at it as "practice" if you ask a person out and they say no, well now you have some experience and maybe approach it differently next time.
As a father of three who didn't have the best parental role models you give the best advice that I want to also pass to my kids. Not just this but so much of what you say is inspiring and I want my kids to be inspired and have the wisdom you pass on.
hurt right now. been lost since my divorce. thanks for all your content pirate. your humble and loved
All the best fellow blazblue fan. The wheel of fate is always turning
Yes! Yes! Yes! This is how I've met all my partners (going on 20 years with my current one) and friends. You start with something in common, no pressure, and build on it. Beautiful advice.
Super important but anyone rarely listens to this. You won't get to know people with similar interests at random. and who knows, sometimes you get to know people that know people.
So very much this. I found my partner by literally just chatting in a discord server cause in that period I had a music production hyperfixation and she's a music producer. We started talking over two things: 1. I confused two English slang terms and we started joking about it and 2. we started sharing our experiences with the game RimWorld, which we both play. We started talking and hanging out more, watching stuff together, and lo and behold 4 years later we're still madly in love and working to move in together.
I tried a loooot of online dating but the only thing those apps were useful for in the end was matching with someone I already knew/met recently. It's a good way of asking out/getting asked out by someone you know without the embarrassment if one party isn't interested.
I need to touch grass in some different way
Run naked through a wild field of tall grass?
Weed is lowkey cheap
@@Saint_Medusa It actually is. I spend like a quarter of what I used to spend on alcohol on weed up in Canada. XD
I've been married 12 years. I will fully acknowledge my key to successes is good RNG.
It's a sad state of affairs when doing what every single one of your ancestors managed to do is now essentially restricted to lottery winners.
Honestly, I met my now wife of 6 years just 3 months after I decided I was just gonna do my thing and stop looking so hard. 😂
When I was in college, I was desperate to not be single. Finally was like "forget it, I must be trying too hard, I'm just going to enjoy being single." A few months later, met a girl naturally through a friend at a outdoor movie event, got to talking and just really naturally clicked. Became friends and asked her about dating. She had just got out of a bad relationship and needed some time, so I respected those boundaries and told her I was very happy just being friends with her. A few months later she asked me on a date date. We lived together for awhile and then moved to a new state together. We have been happily married for over a decade now and couldn't imagine my life without her.
*Massive* W for you being able and willing to recognize her boundaries, be a legit friend, and wait for her to come to you! :D Glad you two are happy together!
Love this advice. I see it with a lot of friends, they are desperate for a girlfriend. Once they find someone, they like the idea of them more than they actually like the person. Can’t expect to find love if you don’t love yourself :).
Sometimes just the act of expressing your hobby can lead to it
I was in the hang out area of my college dorm when my future partner walked up while i was showing people weird indie horror projects. We ended up talking afterwards and i mentioned how i watched a 5 hour video discussing the history of it and i like to distill that info for ppl.
They came back the next day, told me they hunted down the video, watched it, and asked if i wanted to talk about it. I said ok but lets grab food. That was our first date and neither of us realized it.
We now live together. I'm watching them build a PC right now haha.
Your story makes me so happy! I feel like it exactly embodies what Thor was describing.
Also, out of curiosity, what was the 5 hour video? I also dig indie horror stuff and long video essays lol
Lucky you. Not everyone has something just fall into them that easy.
In the end, even Andrew Tate found the people, who are interested in him, the romanian police.
You are slowly showing that you’re a genius and a treasure to humanity my guy,
my brother and his now wife met through WoW. they lived 2500 miles apart and made it work and are now married with 2 kids.
This gives me hope, my girlfriend is over 5000 miles away. It's tough meeting your love online
@@Armament0fJustice Yeah it is. XD
But it's still really worth it.
It's like a scavenger hunt, but you don't have the clues. It makes the ending that much better.
The issue is that a lot of people stop going out after a certain age. Like if your hobbies are all at home, your 30s very may well look like work-supermarket-home.. then mixing in family/a beer at the pub/discord with mates.
I met my wife on a website to learn languages, and we both started our chat by saying we weren't looking for a relationship. So yeah...checks out
But also remember... this might not work either. So first and foremost try and become content with yourself as an individual. Because if you fail, then at least you're falling back on something you're okay with
This is soooooo true. I cannot stress enough how well this technique works.
Another thing to note is that a relationship is just friendship with extra stuff. You cannot be in a relationship without being in a friendship. WHICH MEANS.... friendship is the best thing to have! No matter where it takes you, cherish it! 🎉🎉🎉
The problem is when guys try to be friends with a girl, they end up being called manipulative
@@theonlyjoe_ Only if you're specifically doing the friendship to try to aim for the relationship.
I have a *lot* of lady friends. None of them called me manipulative, one even said I'm the person she felt most safe being around.
Because I valued the friendship, and didn't intend to use it to leverage it into a romance.
And of those friendships turned into a relationship eventually. Even me, a super oblivious Ace, was able to eventually spot the signals and go "You know, if you wanted to date, I'd be down for that".
@@AegixDrakan exactly!
bro has some wisdom i like it
So many people ask themselves "what if I put on the tough guy persona and it doesn't work, do I just need to be tougher?" when the real danger is in "what if I put on the tough guy persona and it DOES work?" Congratulations, you now get to spend time with someone you're hiding your real self from. Someone who likes a person that is not you. You'll probably resent them for it. Your choices are "maintain the masquerade and feel alone in your relationship" or "lose yourself in the mask and abandon your personality". Neither of these makes for connection or happiness. Neither is likely to get past a couple dates either, because authenticity does come across in subtle ways. Would you feel comfortable having a relationship with someone you could sense was hiding their true nature from you?
By all means, embark on a journey of self improvement. But become a person you want to become, not a person you'll resent yourself and your partner for.
How many people, hearing this kind of advice, are going to go out and get into hobbies they don't actually care about while trying to delude themselves into thinking they "love themselves" when it's really all just a long-term act to find a partner? Isn't it the same thing?
Why would I need a Dad when I have you Mr.Software!
My mindset currently by default is: I will never find someone
Effectively, if I find someone, win, but the status quo is that I believe I will always be alone, and thats fine by me - I already accepted that years ago
Sounds like a lie an anxious and lonely person tells themself to keep separate from others. Get in the pool, bro. We're people, not piranhas
@@sayLeotardbutsayitChinese i mean, hearing those words you said my whole life is a reason why, but sure
What I find hard is that every failure - every person I get close to and ask out who rejects me or every date that goes badly - adds a minimum of a few months before I'm going to ask somebody else out, at least in my current situation.
. . . why? You're just people. People hang out. Sometimes they say awkward shit. It doesn't stop you from speaking, does it?
Either way, to mix that with Thor's point: have you considered not dating or asking out these people, and instead just chilling with them, allowing whatever is to happen do so naturally?
Met my Husband through my ex. Both times we met. We met in high school and played Minecraft together along with my ex. Then later, we ran into each other again because of a different ex, and we really clicked. We really bonded over Minecraft and gaming in general as well as anime (though he’s a bit of a normie with anime, with his only cultured anime being Evangelion, and the only other anime are FMA, I *think* FMAB, and Naruto. And while FMA and FMAB are both good anime, it’s clear he didn’t watch much anime beyond that and Naruto… oh and Yugioh. So basically not much anime in his repertoire.) We don’t share all the same game enjoyments, but we both bond over games in general and the games we *do* both enjoy. Such as Terraria, Minecraft, Starbound, and Spiral Knights. So while we did technically meet because of my ex, our love of games is what brought us closer together, as well as our love of music and just… our similar values. Also I’m autistic, so I info dumped my whole life like I do with almost any potential friend… I basically speedrun the secret/life sharing that normally comes out over the span of a long time in friendship. And he prefers my sort of autistic, blunt way of talking and the fact that I’m not just agreeable/a people pleaser… anyway, yeah, we got closer through gaming.
Women live life and dating on easymode, only male celebrities and extremely good looking men can experience such an easy life of an average woman.
It is fascinating to me, how good it feels to hear someone with a good sense of life, speak out healthy perspectives of life. People need to hear this more. I swear to god, people encounter this nowadays way to less. This is a heahlty outview onto life and how to handle our problems.
I love that you didn't exclude online meetings as a method of getting a relationship. Most people seem to look at online relationships with some level of disdain, but they can be just as fulfilling as face-to-face ones.
The end goal is still to meet up, but it's not like you're not "really" dating until you do.
Thor is straight up the most reasonable person on the internet
Finally someone actually explained it! This is the kind of advice I wish I knew a decade ago or more
Works only when any of your hobbies involve going somewhere and not just being at home without any interaction with people
JoIn An OnLiNe CoMmUnItY!!! Yeah, no, that was my only option for most of my life and now that 2019/2020 happened the professionals suddenly changed their time from "go outside" to "spend more time online"?
@@StopaskingwhyandjustreaditTHIS. I was a lonely, scared boy until i went into online chatrooms back in 1999. I talked about Anime there (back then it was still very niche) and i met new people i clicked with.
The first 4 of my relationships (and probably a dozen hookups) started of by just chatting in these chatrooms or Forums.
I've been married for over 12 years now. And yes. I first met my spouse on one of these Forums back in 2001
Finding someone who’s is the complete opposite of you is actually a positive thing as well. They will not only explore your hobbies but then you get to explore theirs. Everyday is an adventure.
I feel like this is something a lot of people need to hear.
This is some golden advise right there.
100000% BASED ADVICE. I met my husband in an anime discord server of all places while playing video games in VC, in the middle of the pandemic. We're both from different country that are on different continents and after coming to my country and spending 3 months face to face, getting to know each other better, he moved here and now we're 2 years happily married (3 years since deciding to be together). Neither of us were looking for someone, we just happened to be having fun in the same place, at the same time and just connected.
Youre a female and therefore have life and dating on easymode.
People should love me for who I'm not for who I'm pretending to be
That really is the best dating advice in 60sec. There is always more to learn, but this is arguably the most important part and where a lot of people go wrong.
Hello there! I'm not sure if you'll be able to see/read this, but thank you so much for uploading your playthrough in full to UA-cam. I live on the other side of the world, so catching streams live is something I can't quite do. I've also been super busy so I watch your videos little by little, so as of today, I'm so glad to have finished them all.
This game is something special to me, and a good part of it is because of your work in this game. It's empowering and inspiring to me!
Thank you so much!! ❤
reminder that dating is not a requirement to be a fully functional adult human person if you’re just not interested in dating right now or ever that is totally OK
Eurythmics, rizzics, cynics... food