My life changed for good after hearing and following his advice . I advices most of my believing friends and sisters to watch this video. I keep hearing it quite often . I agree with his advice . Only a true believer agrees with his advice. I request all believers who are getting married or already married to hear and follow his advice. I
Myself and my husband are non practising catholic,we were thinking of divorce after 5 years of marriage. This has saved my marriage, I understand now why he is always at work, I am by no means subservient but I consider my husbands feelings before I nag him.we now have a much nicer home environment and romance has returned
Secondly, regarding your point on men finding other women attractive: Here are the facts : If husbands wish to be respected by their wives, THEY TOO ought to respect their wives. One of the greatest disrespects to a woman is for her to know that her husband finds another female attractive,especially in her presence. Brothers,please keep your thoughts to yourself and keep your gazing for when you are out on your own. A WOMAN WANTS TO FEEL LIKE A WOMAN TOO...You can do this by making her believe that she is the only attractive female in the world- WE HAVE EGOS TOO!
Wrong. A wife must respect husband because he spends on her and its not vice versa. and Offcourse husband will respect wife when he is respected, he is not a mad person.
point 4 really broke my heart. It's really hard to deal with it as a (very jealous) woman :'( on the other hand, it explains why hijab and modesty uplifts the Muslim woman, and gets men to respect her. But seriously this is really heart breaking :'( understand where we come from also, women are very competitive, and it is hard to know that we will never be "enough" for our husband, that there are still other women getting his attention. HasbiAllah wa ni'mal wakeel :'(
Talha Temuri As salam muhaleikum brother... I accept the fact that you find it disturbing, but try to focus on the point of the video and not the 'side aspects'. In sha Allah, it wont disturb you that much anymore...
halima k I don't agree. If you understand the beauty of Islam then you would find everything annoying but ISLAM, if you are Muslim and makes NG this hideous comment then you will die as a munafik.
Yes, I am that wife that is telling my husband before he gets to the mistake because the mistakes that he makes would either land us in jail, kill us, or murder our marriage.. I don't know that I can whole heartedly agree for my own situation lol
Thank you! Thank You! Thank you! I am a woman and this is information that should NOT be ignored!!! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE these tips!! He is keeping it real and I am glad he was free to share this! Take it straight from the source -- Men--and stop asking your friends (women) the nature of a man! Thanks a bunch!!! May Allah increase your knowledge.
+Jai Laine WOW..., how utterly sad and undermining of women. The mind boggles. All the more reason to pay homage to my Mother who passed on her sense of self-worth for both herself and her daughters. Please, I don't mean to be patronising..., but look around you... observe, listen, watch the news, read a book or two and educate yourself for the benefit of all women! Many of us have a more global perspective which means having a CHOICE!
I think people are getting yasir wrong. He is simply telling us how men here. He is not justifying it or applauding how men are. It is all about understanding the other
Its sad to see that so many people left negative comments. May Allah reward this shaikh, he has highlighted some main issues which create arguments within a marriage. Be it silly or not but they make sense. U will only understand when your actually in that situation.
I listen both parts of this. Truth is men and women primary needs are different but on the other hand we want same things. We just have to learn to understand each other. Both men and women. Love is the key.
This is very nicely done, good for a western muslim audience, and thanks to global hedgemony, the muslim audience. And he's right, a man has a place in islam just like a woman has her own place, i see no problem in not interfering with his decisions and letting him take the final shot. I love how islam, values women to be women, and does not encourage them or force them to act like men. Alhamdulillah. I am a muslim woman.may Allah inspire our men to be real manly men :).
What I see is that you do understand the need of men, you seem to not understand that much of what you say equally apply for women too, with a more affectionate approach and kindness. Kindness is the key to intimacy, including healthy sexual intimacy, take away kindness, be grumpy, be critical and the heart is crushed and the desire will ebb away, till she performs, not engages. That is a terrible loss. Just be kind!
I am a 22 years old female and I love male psychology. I want to be a wife in which my future husband will find complete tranquility in. and I look up to Khadija RA. In syaa Allah.
This is very good and informative video mashaAllah. Since i am child of an environment of divorces , and i have observed three marriage relationships while i grew in that condition it leads me to search more about this knowledge. And wallahi, i am telling you everything that this sheikh said is subhanaAllah true. So you have to ask Allah so much to help you. like to respect someone, you need Allah so much to help you. and all the lists you need Allah so much and for all the things you need Allah so much. So if you feel you cant do it, yes guess what we cant except with Allah 's help. and knew that if your niah is good Allah will definitely help you. Even i am not married yet, i trust so much Allah on this. and i hope my comments will bring some of eye opening to people who read it. thank you. May Allah bless us with happiness and love and rahmah marital relationship
Your comment is very heart breaking to me. I do not know what is going on in your married life because only Allah knows fully your situation but I give sincere dua to Him to give you the peace and tranquility you deserve in your marriage. No one should have to compete for attention. We are all beautiful and unique and our husbands should lower their gaze as Allah has instructed them to then inshAllah there will be less problems. Please be happy my dear sister.
There are some hard pills to swallow. Mainly, I feel like this is to remind us when we forget and give us tools when we get lost. May Allah guide us and guide the Sheikh and keep us on the straight path. Marriage baffles me to be honest. Men and women are so different. It is so. so. so. hard. to be with a man, as a woman, esp. since I was raised with mostly girls. May Allah make us capable and make the path clear. Ameen.
i wish i could put these words in a cup and mix it with zam zam and get my wife to drink it..!!...wallah, she needs it....i still love her though, but this is vital. Ya Allah show all male and female the right path and to stay steadfast & in their rights and obligations.....sister dont mind my joke please, sence of humor is also vital..!!!!
Men, I got news for you...women also have desires, women also want you to take care of yourself and look good for her, and we DEFINITELY need our alone time as well. Pretty much ALMOST everything this guy said is the same for women.
I agree on all three fronts, but there are definitely things in the psyche of both sexes which are more important for each sex. For example, a woman would also be offended if disrespected, but not as much as a man would be. And a man would also be hurt if made to feel unattractive, but not as much as a woman would be. Of course these are generalisations, and of course you don't need to treat either a man or woman exactly like this for a marriage to work. But I think these are good rules of thumb, especially if a person has no idea why his/her spouse is upset
No i dont agree with you at all. I mean its even psychologly proven that men and women arent the same and also dont desire the same things as much. I think that society/people these days forget that men and women arent the same in how they think(mentally). People only think that the difference between gender is physical. We're slowly forgetting the differences of men and women which goed against our morals and values. :(
Kindah : Never go out your way or force yourself to give a man sex if you don't really want to or if you are not in the mood. Men need to learn about how to be strong without sex, they need to know that sex is not every thing......
And women often don't spend much time to beautify themselves for their husband because he often doesn't show as much appreciation for it, as her friends do at sisters only events.
+ShakirahIbaad I think you are mistaken, men have beauty paraded around them openly in non-muslim countries and are often disappointed when they do not have their visual desires catered to, not all men like the same thing, of course, but all men do like clean, effort made, a good smell, a bright smile, some love make-up and his wife to dress up at times in nice clothing etc... and vice versa.
+sham star Women like good looking men as well...maybe the guy should put in just as much effort as the women. I don't get why a woman has to cater to a man's desire without discussing the needs and desires of a woman equally. He talks entirely about men without discussing how a woman might require some romance, seduction and foreplay to get into the mood. Just taking your opinion as an example, lets say a housewife cleans the house, cooks and looks good on a daily basis. Her husband comes home and she's looking all nice and great. She's fulfilling his visual desires but what about hers? Is her husband fit, does he wear nice clothes, keeps himself groomed etc? Remember prophet yousuf had girls chasing him enough to land him in prison because the queen wanted to seduce him. Girls are just as visually lustful as men; if not more so. It's incredible to me when men talk about women and desires when statistically 70 to 80% of women don't even achieve orgasm during sex. Maybe a dude would get laid more if he thought of pleasing her first!
Farah Hafeez Yes my sister, you are so right. These Scholars love talking about the rights of men at the expense of the wives. This was not the case with our beloved Prophet pbuh. Muslim men would do well to emulate his character, particularly when it came to interacting with his wives... darulfiqh.com/the-romantic-prophet-how-to-be-romantic-your-spouse/ As for 70% of women not getting 'ultimate' satisfaction, that is a problem across the World in all cultures. Men should be 'linguistically' schooled, or in the very least 'handy' to have around to avoid being left high and dry ;)
sham star I agree that it is not a Muslim men problem. I think we need to stop using religion to differientiate between people. We are all human beings and prone to good and bad behavior. The problem is when we try to use religion as an excuse for our behaviors. I think both men and women should try to be mature adults. I don't like this man's perspective because he is describe boys rather than a real man.
I love you for the sake of Allah brother Yasir. You are one of the best scholar, that Allah has bless us with. May Allah reward you for this lecture it is as real and honest as it can get. Love ❤️. Like it or not it's the truth.
Assalamu Alaikum Everyone ive recieved a lot of comments & msgs about the humming/nasheed in the background, please forgive me coz i cant remove it...the video was produced by TheDiscoverULife and they put the nasheed in the background: i was just compiling the series into one video for your ease..am very, very sorry my sisters & brothers, i cant do anything...plz make dua for my forgiveness inshallah, Jazaks
Why is it when Muslim sheikhs try & make lectures on how woman should be in relationships to make it work there are a thousand critiques quick to slander him but if it's a female [non-muslim or muslim] writing marital/relationship books on how women should be, there is nothing but applause. Most of what he says here is the exact same thing I've read in a book [WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES] which is a best seller in the US.
I'm a still a young man not married yet, but I truly ask allah to bless me with the best wife for me, and a wife that understand and implement these things, ameeen and I ask allah the same for my muslim brothers.
Interesting. Jazaak Allah khair... Sisters who find this demeaning please remember that you do this to please Allah first and foremost so put your ego's aside. Allah has ordained that your husband is one of your keys to entering Jannah, as long as you are good to him and observe the duties Allah has set out for you - then in shaa Allah Jannah will be written for you. Subhan Allah. May Allah allows us to please our husbands and grant us Jannah, ameen.
enjoy being a servant to your husband for the rest of your life only to find out theres no heaven.. I understand why men buy these bullshit but why are women brainwashed? all islam does to women is devalue and mentally torture them.. wake up muslim women.. have some common sense this is so sad!! :(
maashaAllah this is absolutely amazing and to a great extent realistic. I like the fact that it will prevent me from circumstances of second guessing and assumptions most of the times in sha Allah. and I think that women and men have to come to a common ground to understand and appreciate each other's point of view and our biological psychological differences. We will honestly solve many problems. This is so logical in today's societies.
Peace to you all. My understanding is that this learned brother went out and did a proper research on a topic that is traditionally a taboo in most cultures Muslim or otherwise. He then mustered the courage to come on a global platform like the youtube to share his findings. It is remarkable that some people find the outcome of this research offensive. Far from being offensive, most of it is actually the brutal truth about men's and women's psychology. You could apply the outcome of this research work on any man or woman from any culture and it will fit perfectly well. My prayers are for this brother, Dr. Yasir, May Allah SWT reward him with the best of His blessings in this world and in the hereafter for this brilliant piece of work.
If my wife knew that I was driving in the wrong direction but didn't tell me out of "respect", then I would be PISSED at her for not trying to help. The whole problem with this video lies in the idea of "respect", which is clearly overrated. What one needs to focus on is LOVE because out of love will a couple become physically, mentally, and spiritually stronger. To love means to help correct your partner, and to ALLOW being corrected when wrong about something.
i love my husband so much and thats why im watching this video to become a better human being. Do not let your ego control you but have an open mind. As a revert I understand better the 2 sides of the coin especially living in usa. Women can be very disrespectful to men and is true. Please sisters if you have never had a job and you have always being taking care of then you have no idea how difficult it is for a man to find a good job etc. we are reminded to be in their shoes and men are reminded to be in our shoes.
i was lucky to have the wife i had lol...she gave me what i wanted most of the time. i have to work on my romance though, i had the most wondeful wife ever.i was lucky to have her
Asc TABARAKA-ALLAH what a beautiful lecture for those of you who listen and disagree I MAY ALLAH OPEN YOUR HEART TO THE TRUTH AND UNDERSTANDING AAMIN AL MALIK
As a teenager, hes hit the nail on point 4, a lot of men are fighting their desires sooo hard when it comes to women. Am pretty sure most of them sometimes curse the women for being an obstacle/distraction when it comes to their deen but they don't mean that =) please don't tempt men and dress modestly because It's one of the hardest thing for a man to get a picture/scene out of his head for e.g if a lady stares and smiles at you and that constantly bothers him and and makes his acts of worship to Allah very difficult with those thoughts. Majority of (good)muslim men find women in Hijab very attractive.
I don't think he meant to be completely submissive and blindly agree to whatever ur man says. I think it's more of having to pick and choose ur battles. If it's insignificant it might be a wiser choice to let him make a mistake than start something. I feel it would be better in the long run.
Too many negative comments so posting this to say THANKYOU. This is a great tips video and i think many many many men and women will relate to these problems.
WARNING! Dear brother in islam, from what I understood: 1. Respect: = don't hurt a man's ego. 2. men are created to provide. = less time spent with wife and children, to get money is showing love. 3. Sex needs. = the key to make a man, feel like a man. = the key to ignore woman's flaws. But, wife saying no. = not making him feel like a man. 4. Men find all women attractive. = the attraction to other woman is without control. = use your wife to satisfy your sudden urge to have sex. 5. Romance ----> sex = wife can never criticize what man does to romance her. = reward will be sex. 6. Beauty is the attempt to look beautiful. = wife must care about her looks, to care about her husband feelings. 7. cave time: = husband cuts himself off from family for specific problems and time. In conclusion: This is not love... this is an insecure man, making a wife a silent follower. I advise EVERYONE to learn more about love from the quran and from the prophet PBUH. Thank you.
Yasmine Almomani: sister did you ever even marry? All of what he said is correct. Actually a bitter truth! You like it or not. Even western marriage expert say the same thing just in a more hidden words. He is bluntly honest.Keep your ego in the corner and reflect for a minute. I am a women and I have seen these things in both of my marriages.
I think everyone in the comments here is getting worked up over nothing. Yes, he is generalising a lot. Yes, there probably isn't one man who needs to be treated exactly as he's said, or vice versa. And perhaps he over-states or goes overboard with his remedies sometimes But, I think he's trying to talk to people who haven't been in a relationship before and so aren't familiar with the clear and striking differences between men and women. I think it's good advice for people who are in that position - If you start off treating your spouse like this, and gradually get to know exactly how much you have to adhere to these rules for the person you're with, there's no problem. Or, if you're a spouse who can't understand why his/her spouse is continually getting upset, this highlights some of the core reasons. Basically, his framework and principles are sound, even though the details are sometimes excessive. He's probably just emphasising each point too much, in an effort to get its importance across to people who would just dismiss these parts of their spouse's psyche :)
Dua for the goodness of our family , AL-Furqan 25:74 "Wa Lladheina YaQulouna Rabbana HabLana min azwajiynaa wa dhuriyatinaQurratta a'younin wa Ja'alna LiL muttaqiyna Imaama " (And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring the comfort of our eyes;(and make us leaders of those who have Taqwa.)
Salam alyukm brother yasir .. What else can i say ... What an excellent lecture you have gave ... I'm very confident, this should by now have saved hundred thousands of marriages !! I pray to allah that he accepts your lots of efforts in delivering this beautiful lecture on "foundations of marriage" as well as i pray to allah to bless you with eternal health and happiness !! All of the things u said were heart touching ... I
Sisters we should be more loving, patient and cooperating with our husbands. Try harder to understand them better because they were created by our Greatest Majesty Allah s.w.t.
Wa Alaykum Assalam Akhi!!! Its truly awesome to hear your enthusiasm, but im sorry i havent got any such files for the matter..and i still havent got round to captioning the lectures yet. If however you do decide to manually add text in a video editor, then please send me the project file (veg, aep, wlmm) and ill have the captions done in english too A better option is to create a caption file for youtube integration, and i can sync it with this video..and add other languages too Jazakallah :)
Just so you know...women find physicality of man attractive. And if she has a husband who demands rights and knows nothing of romance, she is also struggling to lower her gaze, and stop her mind from wondering would life have been more fulfilling for her had she divorced and sought elsewhere? I sometimes think that this stamping of rights between the sexes, make for women a sense of hopelessness, a sense of her husband not making effort or giving back. And, I have heard this so many times from so many sisters, the no expectation, just the submission. Complaints that the men do not even realise that a muslim wife has a sexual identity, need, arousal etc... but that somehow non-muslim women are more sexually tuned, it is both wrong and unjust. Give what you want back!
For those of u who still have questions and complaints about how men should understand women, he made a video about that too just look in the suggested videos section. Hope that helped because i too was a little on the fence with some of his points in this video but was completely relieved when i saw the video about what men need to know about women.
I don't want my wife to treat me like a child!!! That's not respecting me that's disrespecting me! If I am wrong than she should tell me in a respecting manner as I will tell her when she is wrong! A woman can NEVER respect a man who are full of himself as a man can never respect a women who are full of herself. Ask your sisters or mums if they can respect a stupid husband or a man who has a big ego! I If we respect women they will give us their love and respect in return
Yup. Men have options. Men don't hit the biological wall as early as women do. So if a woman wants to keep her man around, she's gona have to be the best wife she can.
03:50 I would be *extremely* infuriated if I learned that the woman I love and trust did not inform me or at least at minimum suggest that I was going the wrong way. That is time and precious resources being wasted that could have been prevented. 04:05 In fact, I would also be 100% ok with following my lady's directions and suppositions and it turns out to be wrong. It's not my fault, and if I'm following her it means I'm unsure of it myself. I will gladly do it dozens of times and only if each and every time she is wrong will not not trust her sense of direction.
This is all very true. Islamic marriages are great because we follow and understand these rules. We take relationships seriously. The man is going to be a father, a protector, if I chose him as a husband I have to trust him completely and let him be my guide. Muslim men are like this exactly, especially about the respect and work. Sisters, this is how males are created. Follow these rules. And you will have a successful marriage. Point #4 does not depress me. You have to understand that Allah created men this way. Women should never degrade husbands because of this, because doing so you're degrading Allah's creation.. Be good to your husband and he will never do any harm with this burden. Men are simple. In Sha Allah you can have a successful marriage.
Yeah. Muslim men follow all these rules, for a good marriage, also follow these rules. have four so-called wives, and whores on the side. you are obligated by allah.
if my husband was going the wrong way and I didn't tell him and he found at that I knew the right way he'd be pissed lol! My Muslim husband recognizes that's he not always going to be right and he appreciates my advice. I never tell him in a condensing way but we both listen to each other because we can both be wrong and right. I'm never going to let him do whatever always cause men make dumb mistakes just like women and as a married women both me and my husband understand that and we help each other to try and make the best decisions. If your always belittling your husband and are mean to him then yes but just telling him the right way to go isn't not going to damage his ego and if it does then he needs to go do some soul searching cause that's too much! I couldn't be married to someone like that what a baby! And just saying if you know the right way somewhere tell him you'd save a lot of time and money on gas!
😂😂 right. Mash'Allah you have been blessed by both a good husband and a good sense of humour sister. P. S. I loved the part of your personality I could see through this comment.
To balance what the ustaz is saying... I believe he is presenting the cultural perspective for many Asian men. However when we look into the Quran and the sunnah of the Prophet of Islam, some parts of what he said didn't apply: "Do you see the man who makes his desire his God, the man whom Allah leaves in error, setting a seal upon his ears and heart and drawing a veil over his eyes? Who then can guide him after Allah (has withdrawn guidance)? Will you not take heed? (Surah 45/Al-Jathiya, Verse 23) "Can he who follows the guidance of his Rabb be compared to him whose erroneous actions are made to seem fair to him, and to those who follows their desires?" (Surah 47/Muhammad, Verse 14) "And who is in greater error than the man who is lead by his desires without guidance from Allah? Allah does not guide the evil-doers" (Surah 28/Al Qasas, Verse 50) However women who are challenged with living, with the type of men he described, can use what he has presented, to sustain their marriages. We all need skills. We all need some level of acceptance for the family members we have been blessed with. Acceptance of psychological conditions and the disorders that family members have, can be helpful, for us to manage the circumstance we have been presented with in this world. Nobody is perfect. And no one is stuck. If we feel that we too have some form of disorder, and cannot be a caregiver to our spouse - then Islam allows freedom of choice and divorce too.
The thing about the "not correcting your husband" is as follows... It could be that your husband makes a mistake. But the reason why many men don't like to get corrected is not because they don't like to get corrected, but it's because they want to be respected. I'll explain. Whenever you're talking to someone, and you're trying to explain him something, and the person you're talking to cuts you off in the middle of your explanation and tells you how "wrong" you are and how you're mistaken. Isn't that annoying? There is no problem in the fact that this person disagrees with you. That's not the problem. The problem is that this person doesn't even let you finish your explanation and just cuts you off in the middle. That's very annoying. Why would someone do this? For several reasons actually... It could be a person cuts you off because he doesn't respect you. He sees you as dumb person, or at least he thinks you're just not smart/responsible/mature enough. Thus he will try to correct you. If a person "actually respects" you, than he, would let you finish your explanation/talk and after that he would maybe correct you or disagree with you. But if he doesn't even give you the chance/time to finish what you're saying/doing, and cuts you off and "corrects" you, it shows this person isn't respecting you as an intelligent human being that can think for him-/herself. I honestly find it annoying as well. If I would drive in my car to the store for example. And I know the neighborhood very well. And for certain reasons I take a different road to go to the store and my wife (sincerely/patiently) asks me "where are you going?" or "isn't the store that way?", then I obviously don't have a problem with that. But if she decides to "cut me off" in the middle of what I'm doing and tries to thus correct me, it shows she doesn't trust me enough to 'not make' an obvious mistake like that. If my wife knows that I know this neighborhood, and I know exactly which way to go, in order to get to the store, than she shouldn't be impatient and "cut me off" by saying that I'm taking the wrong way. She should know better and realize that I'm most likely taking another way for a certain reason. For example, to avoid traffic jam or something like that. The fact that my wife would "cut me off" in the middle of what I'm doing shows she doesn't "really believe" in me or "trust me enough". And that's annoying. BUT... if I made a mistake, and my wife has been patient enough to wait and see what I'm doing, and than decides to sincerely and genuinely correct me, than I see no problem in that. If she tries to correct me just because she's an impatient person that doesn't respect me, than that's annoying. If she sincerely and genuinely tries to correct me, I don't necessarily see a problem with that. I just believe a person should be given the chance and time to make clear what he is doing or saying before he gets corrected.
No wonder the western world say, 'Muslim women are oppressed.' I have married for 19 yrs and I tell my husband when he is wrong and I respect him to the utmost. A married couple is not as boss and a servant, and marriage responsibilities is not for the husband alone. Marriage responsibilities is a division of labor.
This was fun to watch, but any woman who knows a man should already know most if not all of this. Inshaa Allah may those who do not know this pay close attention. A happy marriage can be gained by following these few tips.
He's explaining men that are good by default, not the exceptions to the rule. There are men that this advice wouldn't fit. He's not talking about the men who have character flaws, ego problems or don't take care of their responsibilities.
As salaamu alaikum Eid Mubarrak...This brother is giving a lighthearted lecture regarding the relationship between a husband and wife. Don't feel like this is the first and last stop to understanding of the how to give your husband or wife their RIGHTS in ISLAM. Seek knowledge in the Quran al Karim and with the Sunnah of our Prophet Muhammad Peace and Blessings be upon him. Allah subhana wa ta'ala praises His Own advice to us, for us to give one another their due rights: Surah an nisa ayah 58. Surah An-Nur ayah 30-31 tells both men and women to guard their gaze.The Prophet Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him explained in these words," Son of Adam , your first (unintentional) look is pardonable. But beware that you do not cast the second look." (AL Jassas). With my own brother (an Imam) he also gets the same complaint from many men in the Muslim community that Respect is very important. Nonetheless, many of the marriages that my family and I have witnessed crumbling starts with the glances of the eye, the wife is hurt, and its' like a wound that just can't heal. Inevitably thsi effects the respect the wife has towards the husband, the willingness to be intimate, will increase her doubt about her husbands love for her and her love and devotion towards her husband. Btw, how come this video has almost 100,000 more views as the brothers other video on what Men need to know about women.
Salam Brother. Nice lecture overall. One comment I will make is that women do think about finances and stability and long term finances. It is only natural that we think about finances for today as well as in the future for ourselves and our families and that working together as a team with husband discussing this topic is also very important. Jzk.
Timestamps: 0:42 - Respect 11:43 - Men are created to provide 16:45 - Intimacy empowers men 22:49 - Men are attracted to all women 33:26 - Romance means Intimacy for men 38:40 - Beautify yourself 42:27 - Cave Time
I also think he generalized men. There are so many different kids of men and so many different ways to deal with them and same goes for women. Some women can't handle a man so easily crushed and vice versa. So this topic has so many layers and there are so many different kids of guys out there. I'm a very strong women I could NOT handle a man that easily crushed. So this needed more time and explanation. He made me feel like men are all weak and easily crushed.
Yeah i guess he generalised a lot in both lectures, its not realistically possible to go through all the nuances and details within under an hour. If im correct, theres a more lengthy and indepth series/seminars shaykh did, except i think you need to sign up for it/pay fee. www.likeagarment.com (not sure, top of my head)
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Jazaka'Allah for this, no one will come out to tell you. And just to all the woman here, we are weak without knowledge. A lot of what has been said is simple psychology. Do we become submissive by doing what the man wants? Hell no, he just has a delicate ego. THAT makes us stronger. We should all take this and use it to our advantage. This knowledge makes us equal to men.
Zain A. Yes, indeed, but a man's ego can be very fragile towards a wife. Example: if some random person says he or she does not love you, it doesnt hurt you at all. But if your own mother says she doesnt love you, it would hit you hard, because love is something very important in a bond between you a your mother.., An ego of a man wont be damaged that quickly by any person. But for a male it is very important to have a ego in order to get female attention. This is basic biology. And if a male has a female partner, and that female partner, for which the male is most important to show a strong ego to, suddenly bashes that ego, the ego will be damaged severely.
I have a few things to say about the driving examples that i feel i should point out: 1. My country is at war. There is no petrol/ gasoline available. My husband would have to wake up really early drive to another city to fill his tank and maybe sneak in 6 liters extra. Then he would come back home at night tiered. So when he does drive us to a place and take the wrong turn i will speak up. 2. If there is an emergency there is no way that rule applies. 3. How would he feel if he found out that i knew he was going the wrong way and i let him. That would just drive the person mad. I am sorry if i sound rude or bossy but there are circumstances that would not allow me to keep quiet.
I think everybody's ego is fragile, men or women. But It is true that it is all about respecting each other. We must keep in mind that the history of women is very sad where she is buried alive, burnt alive, called witch, today used and abused as commercial products and as a sex toy, or facing domestic violence. So scholars like Sh. yasin Qadhi and other should take extra care and precautions when dealing with the issues of women. Women being emotional is her nature because she needs to be emotional to raise and understand her children it is inbuild in her nature to understand child's emotions and be a mother. Allah SWT gave 3times respect to mother over father because of the physical, emotional, psychological efforts she put to understand n raise her children. Mothers they are always occupied with something on her hand but she gets alone time when her husband n kids are at work n school. Our Prophet use to help around the house too. Husband's can arrange some alone time for women to
Okay I'm single but in the future I'm going to follow everything this guy said because I first listened to the female version and it's everything I hope my future hubby will follow. This guy knows his stuff... pray I get a riotous husband so I can dress up for him lol (or not 😏)
I loved both of the talks about men and women. Great insight! Just wonderint though why was the men's lecture 45 mins and only 28mins for the women....? I could be wrong but it seemed like he spent more time explaining more and going into much more detail with this talk....your thoughts?
Don't get me wrong here, but I think it's because women have a more difficult time accepting facts. Just look at the comments. He constantly has to "explain" why things are. While in the other video he seems to be able to explain stuff to men, and men "get it". Without being so emotional about it.
I don't agree with what was said about the man gazing at other women, that it doesn't mean he loves you any less. Listen to Mufti Menk's lecture and he says everytime your husband looks at other women the wife's value drops 5%, so true because now he's looking at something better than what he has. Everytime our husbands eyes are wandering it makes our value drop. So hard on us muslimahs living in the West because there's "eye candy" everywhere and which man isn't going to look. Insha Allah May ALLAH grant all us sisters the Jannah for having to deal with this.
In the Quran, Allah tells us men to lower our eyes and than Allah tells the women to cover themself! Maybe he forgot that point? Allah knows best but this guy is so wrong! If men can't control ourself we should read salah or read the Quran until the shaytan goes away!
My life changed for good after hearing and following his advice . I advices most of my believing friends and sisters to watch this video. I keep hearing it quite often . I agree with his advice . Only a true believer agrees with his advice. I request all believers who are getting married or already married to hear and follow his advice. I
@Maryiam Gani shut up fool
Myself and my husband are non practising catholic,we were thinking of divorce after 5 years of marriage. This has saved my marriage, I understand now why he is always at work, I am by no means subservient but I consider my husbands feelings before I nag him.we now have a much nicer home environment and romance has returned
Kelly Mcnamara That is wonderful news Kelly, I would consider you to look more into Islam it will save your marriage until eternity.😌
Secondly, regarding your point on men finding other women attractive: Here are the facts : If husbands wish to be respected by their wives, THEY TOO ought to respect their wives. One of the greatest disrespects to a woman is for her to know that her husband finds another female attractive,especially in her presence. Brothers,please keep your thoughts to yourself and keep your gazing for when you are out on your own. A WOMAN WANTS TO FEEL LIKE A WOMAN TOO...You can do this by making her believe that she is the only attractive female in the world- WE HAVE EGOS TOO!
pinkchick186 I
Wrong. A wife must respect husband because he spends on her and its not vice versa. and Offcourse husband will respect wife when he is respected, he is not a mad person.
Brutally honest yet admirably eloquent.
This is still even after 8 years, the best video I’ve seen on this topic. It’s a must watch for all women.
point 4 really broke my heart. It's really hard to deal with it as a (very jealous) woman :'( on the other hand, it explains why hijab and modesty uplifts the Muslim woman, and gets men to respect her.
But seriously this is really heart breaking :'( understand where we come from also, women are very competitive, and it is hard to know that we will never be "enough" for our husband, that there are still other women getting his attention. HasbiAllah wa ni'mal wakeel :'(
He is absolutely correct about everything. I married twice and I am a women. I have lived all this and saying from my experience.
Great advice. As a well educated british woman I agree with the points raised. Will implement these points more into my life.
background NOISE (humming noise) is so annoying........
You shouldn't have mentioned it, after your comment it made even more noticeable and annoying-_-
Talha Temuri so so annoying
Talha Temuri
As salam muhaleikum brother... I accept the fact that you find it disturbing, but try to focus on the point of the video and not the 'side aspects'. In sha Allah, it wont disturb you that much anymore...
halima k I don't agree. If you understand the beauty of Islam then you would find everything annoying but ISLAM, if you are Muslim and makes NG this hideous comment then you will die as a munafik.
halima k
Okay,
Surah al Kafiroon:
"Lakum deenukum, waliya deen."
"For you is your religion, and for me is my religion."
Yes, I am that wife that is telling my husband before he gets to the mistake because the mistakes that he makes would either land us in jail, kill us, or murder our marriage.. I don't know that I can whole heartedly agree for my own situation lol
Thank you! Thank You! Thank you! I am a woman and this is information that should NOT be ignored!!! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE these tips!! He is keeping it real and I am glad he was free to share this! Take it straight from the source -- Men--and stop asking your friends (women) the nature of a man! Thanks a bunch!!! May Allah increase your knowledge.
this is fucking bullshit. he's speaking as if all men are the same, which is obviously incorrect.
+Jai Laine WOW..., how utterly sad and undermining of women. The mind boggles. All the more reason to pay homage to my Mother who passed on her sense of self-worth for both herself and her daughters. Please, I don't mean to be patronising..., but look around you... observe, listen, watch the news, read a book or two and educate yourself for the benefit of all women! Many of us have a more global perspective which means having a CHOICE!
This is th best lecture about women and men in islam I've ever heard! JazakAllahu khair!!!
Now I understand the marriage breakdown of my parents. Thank you brother!
A great talk for both Muslims and non-Muslims. You are a great speaker, Sheikh Qadi!
I think people are getting yasir wrong. He is simply telling us how men here. He is not justifying it or applauding how men are. It is all about understanding the other
Its sad to see that so many people left negative comments. May Allah reward this shaikh, he has highlighted some main issues which create arguments within a marriage. Be it silly or not but they make sense. U will only understand when your actually in that situation.
I listen both parts of this. Truth is men and women primary needs are different but on the other hand we want same things. We just have to learn to understand each other. Both men and women. Love is the key.
This is very nicely done, good for a western muslim audience, and thanks to global hedgemony, the muslim audience. And he's right, a man has a place in islam just like a woman has her own place, i see no problem in not interfering with his decisions and letting him take the final shot. I love how islam, values women to be women, and does not encourage them or force them to act like men. Alhamdulillah. I am a muslim woman.may Allah inspire our men to be real manly men :).
AMIN...AMON...AMIN...YA RABBI!!!!
Sometimes it is too late :( inna lilah wa inna ilayhee raja'oon I wish I would've seen this lecture and got over my anger before my divorce
What I see is that you do understand the need of men, you seem to not understand that much of what you say equally apply for women too, with a more affectionate approach and kindness. Kindness is the key to intimacy, including healthy sexual intimacy, take away kindness, be grumpy, be critical and the heart is crushed and the desire will ebb away, till she performs, not engages. That is a terrible loss. Just be kind!
I am a 22 years old female and I love male psychology. I want to be a wife in which my future husband will find complete tranquility in. and I look up to Khadija RA. In syaa Allah.
This is very good and informative video mashaAllah. Since i am child of an environment of divorces , and i have observed three marriage relationships while i grew in that condition it leads me to search more about this knowledge. And wallahi, i am telling you everything that this sheikh said is subhanaAllah true. So you have to ask Allah so much to help you. like to respect someone, you need Allah so much to help you. and all the lists you need Allah so much and for all the things you need Allah so much. So if you feel you cant do it, yes guess what we cant except with Allah 's help. and knew that if your niah is good Allah will definitely help you. Even i am not married yet, i trust so much Allah on this. and i hope my comments will bring some of eye opening to people who read it. thank you. May Allah bless us with happiness and love and rahmah marital relationship
Your comment is very heart breaking to me. I do not know what is going on in your married life because only Allah knows fully your situation but I give sincere dua to Him to give you the peace and tranquility you deserve in your marriage. No one should have to compete for attention. We are all beautiful and unique and our husbands should lower their gaze as Allah has instructed them to then inshAllah there will be less problems. Please be happy my dear sister.
this is an honest lecture. sisters follow his advice, it may save your marriage iA
thebachu786 yes itss honest.i didnt like it but it makes a lot of sense
There are some hard pills to swallow. Mainly, I feel like this is to remind us when we forget and give us tools when we get lost. May Allah guide us and guide the Sheikh and keep us on the straight path.
Marriage baffles me to be honest. Men and women are so different. It is so. so. so. hard. to be with a man, as a woman, esp. since I was raised with mostly girls. May Allah make us capable and make the path clear. Ameen.
i wish i could put these words in a cup and mix it with zam zam and get my wife to drink it..!!...wallah, she needs it....i still love her though, but this is vital. Ya Allah show all male and female the right path and to stay steadfast & in their rights and obligations.....sister dont mind my joke please, sence of humor is also vital..!!!!
Amin
@@Kamal_AL-Hinai so having a shahadah flag automatically makes you ISIS ?
qash maz if it's their flag then yes. No matter where I'm it, you're raising their flag
@@Kamal_AL-Hinai no it's not. Delusional
LLMFAOOOOO yo yall still married>
Men, I got news for you...women also have desires, women also want you to take care of yourself and look good for her, and we DEFINITELY need our alone time as well. Pretty much ALMOST everything this guy said is the same for women.
I agree on all three fronts, but there are definitely things in the psyche of both sexes which are more important for each sex. For example, a woman would also be offended if disrespected, but not as much as a man would be. And a man would also be hurt if made to feel unattractive, but not as much as a woman would be.
Of course these are generalisations, and of course you don't need to treat either a man or woman exactly like this for a marriage to work. But I think these are good rules of thumb, especially if a person has no idea why his/her spouse is upset
can you guys calm down, you do realize that there is another video of him explaining what men need to know about women right
yes. And that's more appalling
No i dont agree with you at all. I mean its even psychologly proven that men and women arent the same and also dont desire the same things as much. I think that society/people these days forget that men and women arent the same in how they think(mentally). People only think that the difference between gender is physical. We're slowly forgetting the differences of men and women which goed against our morals and values. :(
Kindah : Never go out your way or force yourself to give a man sex if you don't really want to or if you are not in the mood. Men need to learn about how to be strong without sex, they need to know that sex is not every thing......
"Belive or not - most of man are not idiots" - alhamdulillah :-)
But really I love point 4.
And women often don't spend much time to beautify themselves for their husband because he often doesn't show as much appreciation for it, as her friends do at sisters only events.
Also, what if the man constantly wants alone time and it takes over most of their time?
+ShakirahIbaad I think you are mistaken, men have beauty paraded around them openly in non-muslim countries and are often disappointed when they do not have their visual desires catered to, not all men like the same thing, of course, but all men do like clean, effort made, a good smell, a bright smile, some love make-up and his wife to dress up at times in nice clothing etc... and vice versa.
+sham star Women like good looking men as well...maybe the guy should put in just as much effort as the women. I don't get why a woman has to cater to a man's desire without discussing the needs and desires of a woman equally. He talks entirely about men without discussing how a woman might require some romance, seduction and foreplay to get into the mood. Just taking your opinion as an example, lets say a housewife cleans the house, cooks and looks good on a daily basis. Her husband comes home and she's looking all nice and great. She's fulfilling his visual desires but what about hers? Is her husband fit, does he wear nice clothes, keeps himself groomed etc? Remember prophet yousuf had girls chasing him enough to land him in prison because the queen wanted to seduce him. Girls are just as visually lustful as men; if not more so.
It's incredible to me when men talk about women and desires when statistically 70 to 80% of women don't even achieve orgasm during sex. Maybe a dude would get laid more if he thought of pleasing her first!
Farah Hafeez Yes my sister, you are so right. These Scholars love talking about the rights of men at the expense of the wives.
This was not the case with our beloved Prophet pbuh. Muslim men would do well to emulate his character, particularly when it came to interacting with his wives...
darulfiqh.com/the-romantic-prophet-how-to-be-romantic-your-spouse/
As for 70% of women not getting 'ultimate' satisfaction, that is a problem across the World in all cultures. Men should be 'linguistically' schooled, or in the very least 'handy' to have around to avoid being left high and dry ;)
sham star I agree that it is not a Muslim men problem. I think we need to stop using religion to differientiate between people. We are all human beings and prone to good and bad behavior. The problem is when we try to use religion as an excuse for our behaviors. I think both men and women should try to be mature adults. I don't like this man's perspective because he is describe boys rather than a real man.
its really a great lecture. May Allah reward the shaikh for sharing these important advices
I love you for the sake of Allah brother Yasir. You are one of the best scholar, that Allah has bless us with. May Allah reward you for this lecture it is as real and honest as it can get. Love ❤️. Like it or not it's the truth.
Assalamu Alaikum Everyone
ive recieved a lot of comments & msgs about the humming/nasheed in the background, please forgive me coz i cant remove it...the video was produced by TheDiscoverULife and they put the nasheed in the background: i was just compiling the series into one video for your ease..am very, very sorry my sisters & brothers, i cant do anything...plz make dua for my forgiveness inshallah, Jazaks
Point 4 nearly killed me --'
Jazak Allah khair for such deep knowledge brother
Men should respect women too!
Why is it when Muslim sheikhs try & make lectures on how woman should be in relationships to make it work there are a thousand critiques quick to slander him but if it's a female [non-muslim or muslim] writing marital/relationship books on how women should be, there is nothing but applause. Most of what he says here is the exact same thing I've read in a book [WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES] which is a best seller in the US.
I'm a still a young man not married yet, but I truly ask allah to bless me with the best wife for me, and a wife that understand and implement these things, ameeen
and I ask allah the same for my muslim brothers.
Interesting. Jazaak Allah khair... Sisters who find this demeaning please remember that you do this to please Allah first and foremost so put your ego's aside. Allah has ordained that your husband is one of your keys to entering Jannah, as long as you are good to him and observe the duties Allah has set out for you - then in shaa Allah Jannah will be written for you. Subhan Allah. May Allah allows us to please our husbands and grant us Jannah, ameen.
Ameen
enjoy being a servant to your husband for the rest of your life only to find out theres no heaven..
I understand why men buy these bullshit but why are women brainwashed? all islam does to women is devalue and mentally torture them.. wake up muslim women.. have some common sense
this is so sad!! :(
+Goli H lmao leave our sisters alone go talk to miley Cyrus and Kim k wannabes their free right? not brainwashed at all by the TV?
Amina Alisha Amin Ya Rabbi ❤
well thats good.. Thats what God wants from us . Simple love marriage where there is difference of opinions.
maashaAllah this is absolutely amazing and to a great extent realistic. I like the fact that it will prevent me from circumstances of second guessing and assumptions most of the times in sha Allah. and I think that women and men have to come to a common ground to understand and appreciate each other's point of view and our biological psychological differences. We will honestly solve many problems. This is so logical in today's societies.
Peace to you all. My understanding is that this learned brother went out and did a proper research on a topic that is traditionally a taboo in most cultures Muslim or otherwise. He then mustered the courage to come on a global platform like the youtube to share his findings. It is remarkable that some people find the outcome of this research offensive. Far from being offensive, most of it is actually the brutal truth about men's and women's psychology. You could apply the outcome of this research work on any man or woman from any culture and it will fit perfectly well.
My prayers are for this brother, Dr. Yasir, May Allah SWT reward him with the best of His blessings in this world and in the hereafter for this brilliant piece of work.
If my wife knew that I was driving in the wrong direction but didn't tell me out of "respect", then I would be PISSED at her for not trying to help.
The whole problem with this video lies in the idea of "respect", which is clearly overrated. What one needs to focus on is LOVE because out of love will a couple become physically, mentally, and spiritually stronger. To love means to help correct your partner, and to ALLOW being corrected when wrong about something.
What if one only wants what they want, leaving the other one with no other choice but to walk away.
I think there are différences between arab, Asian men and western men. WHAT Hé explained is more for men of arabic or a sian culture.
i love my husband so much and thats why im watching this video to become a better human being. Do not let your ego control you but have an open mind. As a revert I understand better the 2 sides of the coin especially living in usa. Women can be very disrespectful to men and is true. Please sisters if you have never had a job and you have always being taking care of then you have no idea how difficult it is for a man to find a good job etc. we are reminded to be in their shoes and men are reminded to be in our shoes.
this is a must watch video...may Allaah keep guiding us, Aameen
i was lucky to have the wife i had lol...she gave me what i wanted most of the time. i have to work on my romance though, i had the most wondeful wife ever.i was lucky to have her
...what happened then? :O
You are just a nice guy who appreciates people, a lot of guys have good wives but they just don't appreciate them.
moha1900
Mashallah❤❤
Menk
what happened
Asc TABARAKA-ALLAH what a beautiful lecture for those of you who listen and disagree I MAY ALLAH OPEN YOUR HEART TO THE TRUTH AND UNDERSTANDING AAMIN AL MALIK
May Allah blessYasir qadi usthad , i need this talk badly. May Allah bless you with highest ranks of heaven!!
I just can't sit back and let him be wrong while im in the passenger seat. lol
+talkindurinthemovie lol mean either
+talkindurinthemovie thats reality about men
he is more traditional cultural talking than Islamic. how can a wife be silent when her husband is going the wrong direction.
As a teenager, hes hit the nail on point 4, a lot of men are fighting their desires sooo hard when it comes to women. Am pretty sure most of them sometimes curse the women for being an obstacle/distraction when it comes to their deen but they don't mean that =) please don't tempt men and dress modestly because It's one of the hardest thing for a man to get a picture/scene out of his head for e.g if a lady stares and smiles at you and that constantly bothers him and and makes his acts of worship to Allah very difficult with those thoughts. Majority of (good)muslim men find women in Hijab very attractive.
Wish I could have seen this video 20 years ago, then I would've understood my husband better.
Wow how old then are you like 100
Zecariah Aden Can I please ask you not to be offensive, it isn't portrayal of good mannerism that a Muslim should have.
Carbon Based Life Form that is very childish and rude...you should probably ask how old your parents are and do the maths.
Please can you repost this without the background music?
I cannot believe people are commenting about how good this video is. GOD. This is disgusting.
The more I watch this video,the more patient and happy I get🌝
its kind of absurd, to say to women to not tell no to their husband judgement, cause sometimes, men' judgement can be wrong too..
I don't think he meant to be completely submissive and blindly agree to whatever ur man says. I think it's more of having to pick and choose ur battles. If it's insignificant it might be a wiser choice to let him make a mistake than start something. I feel it would be better in the long run.
Salimah ash Shadri
+×
Exactly.
I had lots of laughter when I watched this... not because it's funny but because how true it is... and awkward but true.
i'm a woman, i need some "cave time" too.
Too many negative comments so posting this to say THANKYOU. This is a great tips video and i think many many many men and women will relate to these problems.
WARNING!
Dear brother in islam, from what I understood:
1. Respect:
= don't hurt a man's ego.
2. men are created to provide.
= less time spent with wife and children, to get money is showing love.
3. Sex needs.
= the key to make a man, feel like a man.
= the key to ignore woman's flaws.
But, wife saying no.
= not making him feel like a man.
4. Men find all women attractive.
= the attraction to other woman is without control.
= use your wife to satisfy your sudden urge to have sex.
5. Romance ----> sex
= wife can never criticize what man does to romance her.
= reward will be sex.
6. Beauty is the attempt to look beautiful.
= wife must care about her looks, to care about her husband feelings.
7. cave time:
= husband cuts himself off from family for specific problems and time.
In conclusion:
This is not love... this is an insecure man, making a wife a silent follower.
I advise EVERYONE to learn more about love from the quran and from the prophet PBUH.
Thank you.
Yasmine Almomani: sister did you ever even marry? All of what he said is correct. Actually a bitter truth! You like it or not. Even western marriage expert say the same thing just in a more hidden words. He is bluntly honest.Keep your ego in the corner and reflect for a minute. I am a women and I have seen these things in both of my marriages.
Unfortunately some men ask exactly for what he explains :(
Not some but a lot of them :(
You are another woman who wants man like a machine, wife should follow unless can lead herself ?
7
I think everyone in the comments here is getting worked up over nothing. Yes, he is generalising a lot. Yes, there probably isn't one man who needs to be treated exactly as he's said, or vice versa. And perhaps he over-states or goes overboard with his remedies sometimes
But, I think he's trying to talk to people who haven't been in a relationship before and so aren't familiar with the clear and striking differences between men and women. I think it's good advice for people who are in that position - If you start off treating your spouse like this, and gradually get to know exactly how much you have to adhere to these rules for the person you're with, there's no problem. Or, if you're a spouse who can't understand why his/her spouse is continually getting upset, this highlights some of the core reasons.
Basically, his framework and principles are sound, even though the details are sometimes excessive. He's probably just emphasising each point too much, in an effort to get its importance across to people who would just dismiss these parts of their spouse's psyche :)
Dua for the goodness of our family ,
AL-Furqan 25:74 "Wa Lladheina YaQulouna Rabbana HabLana min azwajiynaa wa dhuriyatinaQurratta a'younin wa Ja'alna LiL muttaqiyna Imaama "
(And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring the comfort of our eyes;(and make us leaders of those who have Taqwa.)
Salam alyukm brother yasir .. What else can i say ... What an excellent lecture you have gave ... I'm very confident, this should by now have saved hundred thousands of marriages !!
I pray to allah that he accepts your lots of efforts in delivering this beautiful lecture on "foundations of marriage" as well as i pray to allah to bless you with eternal health and happiness !!
All of the things u said were heart touching ... I
Sisters we should be more loving, patient and cooperating with our husbands. Try harder to understand them better because they were created by our Greatest Majesty Allah s.w.t.
Wa Alaykum Assalam Akhi!!!
Its truly awesome to hear your enthusiasm, but im sorry i havent got any such files for the matter..and i still havent got round to captioning the lectures yet.
If however you do decide to manually add text in a video editor, then please send me the project file (veg, aep, wlmm) and ill have the captions done in english too
A better option is to create a caption file for youtube integration, and i can sync it with this video..and add other languages too
Jazakallah :)
Just so you know...women find physicality of man attractive. And if she has a husband who demands rights and knows nothing of romance, she is also struggling to lower her gaze, and stop her mind from wondering would life have been more fulfilling for her had she divorced and sought elsewhere? I sometimes think that this stamping of rights between the sexes, make for women a sense of hopelessness, a sense of her husband not making effort or giving back. And, I have heard this so many times from so many sisters, the no expectation, just the submission. Complaints that the men do not even realise that a muslim wife has a sexual identity, need, arousal etc... but that somehow non-muslim women are more sexually tuned, it is both wrong and unjust. Give what you want back!
observe the arrogance in the tone
For those of u who still have questions and complaints about how men should understand women, he made a video about that too just look in the suggested videos section. Hope that helped because i too was a little on the fence with some of his points in this video but was completely relieved when i saw the video about what men need to know about women.
Give this guy a medal!!!! Loved it.
I don't want my wife to treat me like a child!!! That's not respecting me that's disrespecting me!
If I am wrong than she should tell me in a respecting manner as I will tell her when she is wrong!
A woman can NEVER respect a man who are full of himself as a man can never respect a women who are full of herself. Ask your sisters or mums if they can respect a stupid husband or a man who has a big ego! I
If we respect women they will give us their love and respect in return
+Yousafzai Khan Shhhhhh don´t question things. Muslims don´t like that lol
Point 4 killed it for me. It broke my heart.
Yup. Men have options. Men don't hit the biological wall as early as women do. So if a woman wants to keep her man around, she's gona have to be the best wife she can.
03:50 I would be *extremely* infuriated if I learned that the woman I love and trust did not inform me or at least at minimum suggest that I was going the wrong way. That is time and precious resources being wasted that could have been prevented.
04:05 In fact, I would also be 100% ok with following my lady's directions and suppositions and it turns out to be wrong. It's not my fault, and if I'm following her it means I'm unsure of it myself. I will gladly do it dozens of times and only if each and every time she is wrong will not not trust her sense of direction.
no really its true...its good to know this...atleast,we learn to adjust,to keep our relationship with husband ...
This is all very true.
Islamic marriages are great because we follow and understand these rules.
We take relationships seriously. The man is going to be a father, a protector, if I chose him as a husband I have to trust him completely and let him be my guide.
Muslim men are like this exactly, especially about the respect and work.
Sisters, this is how males are created. Follow these rules. And you will have a successful marriage.
Point #4 does not depress me. You have to understand that Allah created men this way. Women should never degrade husbands because of this, because doing so you're degrading Allah's creation.. Be good to your husband and he will never do any harm with this burden.
Men are simple.
In Sha Allah you can have a successful marriage.
Haha what? Your response changed completely 😂
Okay lady..
Oh God you're so dumb... 😖
It hurts to read your comments. Seriously
Yeah. Muslim men follow all these rules, for a good marriage, also follow these rules. have four so-called wives, and whores on the side. you are obligated by allah.
Carmen T you don't know what you're talking about.
+Hannah Hurst Don't get mad because the truth hurts.
I feel exactly the same.. it broke my heart and I actually cried while listening to this:(
May Allah help alllllllllll women
why did you
thank you for the information! It's very useful, hopefully I'll remember to keep these tips in mind for future references
This guy is so self righteous. I don't even know what to make of him.
if my husband was going the wrong way and I didn't tell him and he found at that I knew the right way he'd be pissed lol! My Muslim husband recognizes that's he not always going to be right and he appreciates my advice. I never tell him in a condensing way but we both listen to each other because we can both be wrong and right. I'm never going to let him do whatever always cause men make dumb mistakes just like women and as a married women both me and my husband understand that and we help each other to try and make the best decisions. If your always belittling your husband and are mean to him then yes but just telling him the right way to go isn't not going to damage his ego and if it does then he needs to go do some soul searching cause that's too much! I couldn't be married to someone like that what a baby! And just saying if you know the right way somewhere tell him you'd save a lot of time and money on gas!
😂😂 right. Mash'Allah you have been blessed by both a good husband and a good sense of humour sister.
P. S. I loved the part of your personality I could see through this comment.
To balance what the ustaz is saying... I believe he is presenting the cultural perspective for many Asian men.
However when we look into the Quran and the sunnah of the Prophet of Islam, some parts of what he said didn't apply:
"Do you see the man who makes his desire his God, the man whom Allah leaves in error, setting a seal upon his ears and heart and drawing a veil over his eyes? Who then can guide him after Allah (has withdrawn guidance)? Will you not take heed? (Surah 45/Al-Jathiya, Verse 23)
"Can he who follows the guidance of his Rabb be compared to him whose erroneous actions are made to seem fair to him, and to those who follows their desires?" (Surah 47/Muhammad, Verse 14)
"And who is in greater error than the man who is lead by his desires without guidance from Allah? Allah does not guide the evil-doers" (Surah 28/Al Qasas, Verse 50)
However women who are challenged with living, with the type of men he described, can use what he has presented, to sustain their marriages. We all need skills. We all need some level of acceptance for the family members we have been blessed with.
Acceptance of psychological conditions and the disorders that family members have, can be helpful, for us to manage the circumstance we have been presented with in this world.
Nobody is perfect. And no one is stuck.
If we feel that we too have some form of disorder, and cannot be a caregiver to our spouse - then Islam allows freedom of choice and divorce too.
The thing about the "not correcting your husband" is as follows...
It could be that your husband makes a mistake. But the reason why many men don't like to get corrected is not because they don't like to get corrected, but it's because they want to be respected.
I'll explain.
Whenever you're talking to someone, and you're trying to explain him something, and the person you're talking to cuts you off in the middle of your explanation and tells you how "wrong" you are and how you're mistaken. Isn't that annoying?
There is no problem in the fact that this person disagrees with you. That's not the problem. The problem is that this person doesn't even let you finish your explanation and just cuts you off in the middle. That's very annoying.
Why would someone do this? For several reasons actually...
It could be a person cuts you off because he doesn't respect you. He sees you as dumb person, or at least he thinks you're just not smart/responsible/mature enough. Thus he will try to correct you.
If a person "actually respects" you, than he, would let you finish your explanation/talk and after that he would maybe correct you or disagree with you.
But if he doesn't even give you the chance/time to finish what you're saying/doing, and cuts you off and "corrects" you, it shows this person isn't respecting you as an intelligent human being that can think for him-/herself.
I honestly find it annoying as well.
If I would drive in my car to the store for example. And I know the neighborhood very well. And for certain reasons I take a different road to go to the store and my wife (sincerely/patiently) asks me "where are you going?" or "isn't the store that way?", then I obviously don't have a problem with that. But if she decides to "cut me off" in the middle of what I'm doing and tries to thus correct me, it shows she doesn't trust me enough to 'not make' an obvious mistake like that. If my wife knows that I know this neighborhood, and I know exactly which way to go, in order to get to the store, than she shouldn't be impatient and "cut me off" by saying that I'm taking the wrong way. She should know better and realize that I'm most likely taking another way for a certain reason. For example, to avoid traffic jam or something like that.
The fact that my wife would "cut me off" in the middle of what I'm doing shows she doesn't "really believe" in me or "trust me enough". And that's annoying.
BUT... if I made a mistake, and my wife has been patient enough to wait and see what I'm doing, and than decides to sincerely and genuinely correct me, than I see no problem in that.
If she tries to correct me just because she's an impatient person that doesn't respect me, than that's annoying.
If she sincerely and genuinely tries to correct me, I don't necessarily see a problem with that. I just believe a person should be given the chance and time to make clear what he is doing or saying before he gets corrected.
No wonder the western world say, 'Muslim women are oppressed.' I have married for 19 yrs and I tell my husband when he is wrong and I respect him to the utmost. A married couple is not as boss and a servant, and marriage responsibilities is not for the husband alone. Marriage responsibilities is a division of labor.
This was fun to watch, but any woman who knows a man should already know most if not all of this. Inshaa Allah may those who do not know this pay close attention. A happy marriage can be gained by following these few tips.
He's explaining men that are good by default, not the exceptions to the rule. There are men that this advice wouldn't fit. He's not talking about the men who have character flaws, ego problems or don't take care of their responsibilities.
This has been ma marriage guide
As salaamu alaikum Eid Mubarrak...This brother is giving a lighthearted lecture regarding the relationship between a husband and wife. Don't feel like this is the first and last stop to understanding of the how to give your husband or wife their RIGHTS in ISLAM. Seek knowledge in the Quran al Karim and with the Sunnah of our Prophet Muhammad Peace and Blessings be upon him. Allah subhana wa ta'ala praises His Own advice to us, for us to give one another their due rights: Surah an nisa ayah 58. Surah An-Nur ayah 30-31 tells both men and women to guard their gaze.The Prophet Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him explained in these words," Son of Adam , your first (unintentional) look is pardonable. But beware that you do not cast the second look." (AL Jassas). With my own brother (an Imam) he also gets the same complaint from many men in the Muslim community that Respect is very important. Nonetheless, many of the marriages that my family and I have witnessed crumbling starts with the glances of the eye, the wife is hurt, and its' like a wound that just can't heal. Inevitably thsi effects the respect the wife has towards the husband, the willingness to be intimate, will increase her doubt about her husbands love for her and her love and devotion towards her husband. Btw, how come this video has almost 100,000 more views as the brothers other video on what Men need to know about women.
Salam Brother. Nice lecture overall. One comment I will make is that women do think about finances and stability and long term finances. It is only natural that we think about finances for today as well as in the future for ourselves and our families and that working together as a team with husband discussing this topic is also very important. Jzk.
Men have got to learn to take directions without getting their feelings hurt...
I,a woman, knows that respecting me is more important to me than loving me.
Beautiful lecture. I wish the humming in the background wasn’t added. No need for it.
Timestamps:
0:42 - Respect
11:43 - Men are created to provide
16:45 - Intimacy empowers men
22:49 - Men are attracted to all women
33:26 - Romance means Intimacy for men
38:40 - Beautify yourself
42:27 - Cave Time
Really good video please lose the music at the background it's annoying
I also think he generalized men. There are so many different kids of men and so many different ways to deal with them and same goes for women. Some women can't handle a man so easily crushed and vice versa. So this topic has so many layers and there are so many different kids of guys out there. I'm a very strong women I could NOT handle a man that easily crushed. So this needed more time and explanation. He made me feel like men are all weak and easily crushed.
Yeah i guess he generalised a lot in both lectures, its not realistically possible to go through all the nuances and details within under an hour. If im correct, theres a more lengthy and indepth series/seminars shaykh did, except i think you need to sign up for it/pay fee. www.likeagarment.com (not sure, top of my head)
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Mansha Allah jizak sheikh this was helpful. Insha Allah I will show so much respect my husband.
Jazaka'Allah for this, no one will come out to tell you. And just to all the woman here, we are weak without knowledge. A lot of what has been said is simple psychology. Do we become submissive by doing what the man wants? Hell no, he just has a delicate ego. THAT makes us stronger. We should all take this and use it to our advantage. This knowledge makes us equal to men.
I'm a guy, but my Ego isn't fragile at all...
Men shouldn't act like pussies, thats just not right xD
Zain A.
Yes, indeed, but a man's ego can be very fragile towards a wife.
Example: if some random person says he or she does not love you, it doesnt hurt you at all. But if your own mother says she doesnt love you, it would hit you hard, because love is something very important in a bond between you a your mother..,
An ego of a man wont be damaged that quickly by any person. But for a male it is very important to have a ego in order to get female attention. This is basic biology. And if a male has a female partner, and that female partner, for which the male is most important to show a strong ego to, suddenly bashes that ego, the ego will be damaged severely.
Thank you for the honesty it helps me as a woman understand!Thank you immensely
Peace ,
My dear sister *PLEASE* you must watch my *VERY important* videos in my *Playlists*
I have a few things to say about the driving examples that i feel i should point out:
1. My country is at war. There is no petrol/ gasoline available. My husband would have to wake up really early drive to another city to fill his tank and maybe sneak in 6 liters extra. Then he would come back home at night tiered. So when he does drive us to a place and take the wrong turn i will speak up.
2. If there is an emergency there is no way that rule applies.
3. How would he feel if he found out that i knew he was going the wrong way and i let him. That would just drive the person mad.
I am sorry if i sound rude or bossy but there are circumstances that would not allow me to keep quiet.
Thank you so much for this amazing lecture may Allah reward you brother
This man speaks from the heart
I think everybody's ego is fragile, men or women. But It is true that it is all about respecting each other. We must keep in mind that the history of women is very sad where she is buried alive, burnt alive, called witch, today used and abused as commercial products and as a sex toy, or facing domestic violence. So scholars like Sh. yasin Qadhi and other should take extra care and precautions when dealing with the issues of women. Women being emotional is her nature because she needs to be emotional to raise and understand her children it is inbuild in her nature to understand child's emotions and be a mother. Allah SWT gave 3times respect to mother over father because of the physical, emotional, psychological efforts she put to understand n raise her children. Mothers they are always occupied with something on her hand but she gets alone time when her husband n kids are at work n school. Our Prophet use to help around the house too. Husband's can arrange some alone time for women to
Okay I'm single but in the future I'm going to follow everything this guy said because I first listened to the female version and it's everything I hope my future hubby will follow. This guy knows his stuff... pray I get a riotous husband so I can dress up for him lol (or not 😏)
I loved both of the talks about men and women. Great insight! Just wonderint though why was the men's lecture 45 mins and only 28mins for the women....? I could be wrong but it seemed like he spent more time explaining more and going into much more detail with this talk....your thoughts?
Don't get me wrong here, but I think it's because women have a more difficult time accepting facts. Just look at the comments. He constantly has to "explain" why things are.
While in the other video he seems to be able to explain stuff to men, and men "get it". Without being so emotional about it.
I don't agree with what was said about the man gazing at other women, that it doesn't mean he loves you any less. Listen to Mufti Menk's lecture and he says everytime your husband looks at other women the wife's value drops 5%, so true because now he's looking at something better than what he has. Everytime our husbands eyes are wandering it makes our value drop. So hard on us muslimahs living in the West because there's "eye candy" everywhere and which man isn't going to look. Insha Allah May ALLAH grant all us sisters the Jannah for having to deal with this.
So, what happens to men being told to lower their gaze? Especially if he is married?
In the Quran, Allah tells us men to lower our eyes and than Allah tells the women to cover themself! Maybe he forgot that point? Allah knows best but this guy is so wrong! If men can't control ourself we should read salah or read the Quran until the shaytan goes away!
I found the lecture is quite hard to give but sheikh yasir did it beautifully.