Imagine being a knight in medieval times, training your whole life to meet the king and fight him in a duel. All of those years of sweat and tears, you finally get to meet him, but then he pulls out the 9 and mops you like you were a rat to him.
no matter what costume he is wearing, what roleplaying he is doing, he always has the tims on. Edit: Holy fuck dude, never expected this much likes, thank you.
Pretty sure 90% of OFFCANNY is just pure, unadulterated chaos. You can't jusy script that sort of insanity from the crazy warrior guy. He's got real serial killer vibes.
I don't even know if we're allowed to say it, but I feel like Offcanny is just the most pure, unadulterated chaos from the best days of The [redacted] mixed with the house days of [also redacted], cranked up to 11. And I love it lmao.
I thought it was chaotic in the way JackAss is or OG Filthy Frank stuff, ya know? Soon, these will be the old days, so I'm loving the chaos while it lasts.
@@badgeoshame389 yeah but filthyfrank and them were chaotic but more controlled and funny, yknow? This is just a really strange guy who may be a serial killer and some random dudes from Craigslist threatening people with knives and cutting off peoples hair with swords in really unsafe manners. You can tell that if something actually went down, there’s no control over it.
@@quantumblauthor7300 i mean how when one of them would get hurt or smth he’d be like “oh shit maybe don’t do that” instead of being the one inflicting pain like he usually is
I love how the dude said their other videos weren't so gay, but I just watched all of them and I swear they turned me gay they were so gay. Watch the stripper one and you'll understand lmfao
I think you'd love the rest of OFFCANNY's videos then, I just finished bingewatching all the vids and I got that filthy frank vibe from every one of them
3 thoughts about this videos: - very happy there's a video again - sir Dickioses is a highlight of this video - i couldn't understand a word that was said during the ad break.
15:18 “I feel like you’re blaming the gay undertones of this video on me, and I want you to know that I am - I’m not... that kinda guy.” *nods like he’s just said something profound*
Let it be known that I serve the true king @jschlatt “the merciful”. And pledge my divine allegiance to any future endeavors, all the while leading the armies of the East. -Sir Dickyosis The year of our Lord 2020
The 2 knights: *does something* Schlatt: *pulls out the Glock and shoots* This is basically everything that happened starting from 6 minutes in the video
@@spartan4648 I think it's paintball, actually. You can see him reload it later with red paintballs, and their armor has red splats on it. Kinda wish we'd seen a headshot with it lmfao would've been hilarious.
That would be awesome. Like a thousand years from now historians will go: The entire fking world burned down during the pandemic in the 2 thousands, this is our only evidence of Earth before the nukes
Jschlatt: *laughs along with the others and then suddenly shots at garett* He's such a good twisted king. Just the laugh to shoot expression change is so good.
Half of the time I genuinely couldn’t tell if they’re breaking character or taking the roles too seriously... If they even were real roles and this isn’t even an act
everyone was alive at the end but i still feel like i watched someone die
It has that aura of mild dread and awkwardness
Show this vid to lud.
Ya know
Yep
agreed charlie. agreed
Sir dickiosus of nordingcock is definitely the best character of this fairytale
Agreed
Thanks
@@mosesj2008 this is actually the man, Yo I died watching you!
@@mosesj2008 My dude you are fucking hilarious, I hope they somehow bring you back in a future video!
@@noahshipleyfolk113 yes, ‘‘tis is I. Thanks bro
Came for Schlatt, stayed for Sir Dickiosus of Nordingcock.
same bro
Same who is that guy
I wanna follow him :(
were they hired actors
He's actually somewhere in this comment section, no joke. It's deep but you'll know when you find him
Shout out to Sir Dickiosus of Nordingcock, the man stole the show
Thanks
@@mosesj2008 Everything you said was so quotable lol, a great part of what’s probably my favorite youtube video
@@mosesj2008 holy shit you had me rolling dude, loved it
I need to know who he is
@@mosesj2008 holy shit the man himself
“Do not hire thine actors from Craigslist and expect normal”
Those are words to live by
16:04
@@auh4806 ty
Imagine being a knight in medieval times, training your whole life to meet the king and fight him in a duel. All of those years of sweat and tears, you finally get to meet him, but then he pulls out the 9 and mops you like you were a rat to him.
This is about the funniest comment I have seen on any video
jesus christ.
Your majesty, thine .22
@@thebiggestbenjammin thy hath arrived with the 7.62 choppa, majesty!
he always carry that thang
"If I had a safe word, I would say it. This is not normal."
Dickyosis: "Do not hire thine actors from Craigslist and expect normal."
16:01
👊🏾
@@mosesj2008 bruh
@@mosesj2008 Live a long epic life, Dickyosis
I kid you not, I was watching the vid and scrolling through the comments, and then I read your comment the same time that part played
The other two guards stayed relatively neutral but Sir Dickyosis fully emplaced the chaotic nature of this video.
I think it fits better that way
Sir Dickyosis is the type of Craigslist actor that deserves double for his work. Such an amazing actor.
Thanks
@Alix Russo Fart noises, and McDoubles 🤷🏾♂️
@@mosesj2008 EGADS!!!
“He’s blind king.”
“He’s blind? When did that happen?”
*shoots him*
@@Xalyth8855 lol I have no fucking idea dude
Time stamp?
@@chickennuggetsarelife4535 8:59
same energy of:
"What, you egg?"
*he stabs him*
In the eyes ?
I like how everyone has a sword and Jschlatt just has a fucking gun.
Just like his ancestor George Washington would have
A king’s weapon
bro there are people watching this shit rn
no matter what ya gotta stay strapped
@@PhysicalEngineering im here from big guy’s vid
Dickiosus is known across the realm for his incredible brutality
And his vast vocabulary
And his glock
And his stunning looks
And being from the hood
Excuse you it is Sir Dickiosus
Thanks for all the love.
Sir Dickyosis
We love you
@@mosesj2008 you was actually the most fun person in this video man 😅
@@marcodenekamp had to much fun being in it😃
You had me in tears man.
This really needs pinned
I like that Schlatt can fully gear up in medieval king gear but still insists on keeping his timbs
It’s medival to him
And a glock cuz that's medieval to him too
@@jonawottjwt5135 gotta have the gat incase of a siege
And his gun
and gun
worst day of my life
Big man more 1% hats please
Don’t worry schlatt, those big strong men are always waiting for you back home
who brought the gay undertone
hi schlatt
Best*
Why is no one talking about them throwing a whole ass melon at that one guys head
BOnK
"why are you still laughing??"
That was funny
when did that happen
do you expect and less?
10:03 The way his face changes so subtly and he just shoots is so hilarious to me
Yes
@@gavin3915 Indeed
@@wadsmitter511 indubitably
@@gavin3915 Selvfølgelig
how tf is jschlatt able to act like a deranged dictator both online and in real life wtf
Because 10 big gay men
Act?
Schlatt stay Strapped thats why
He practiced by starting out as a merciless capitalistic business tycoon, then upgraded to a merciless dictator with gay undertones.
truee
Them pullin up in knight armor and Schlatt just pulling out a glock just made me laugh way too much then it should have.
Same
"Parry this you filthy casual."
@@humanperson7646 spoiler-_-
@@archangel8444 you shouldn't of went through the comment section before watching the video
@@FulToast Holy s**t, I'm f**king losing it over what you just said.
How tf they just gonna return outta the blue with schlatt lmao
Truly, smth id never think id see lmaoo
no matter what costume he is wearing, what roleplaying he is doing, he always has the tims on.
Edit: Holy fuck dude, never expected this much likes, thank you.
Probably had the Yankee hat on underneath the crown as well
A true new yorker
No New Yorker would be caught dead without the timbs, Yankees hat, and toolie.
And has a gun...
mans is also always strapped
I’m losing my mind what is this. I can’t tell what parts are scripted and what parts are just chaos. What is happening.
Pretty sure 90% of OFFCANNY is just pure, unadulterated chaos. You can't jusy script that sort of insanity from the crazy warrior guy. He's got real serial killer vibes.
I don't even know if we're allowed to say it, but I feel like Offcanny is just the most pure, unadulterated chaos from the best days of The [redacted] mixed with the house days of [also redacted], cranked up to 11. And I love it lmao.
98% of the video I didn't even know what the fuck was happening
I thought it was chaotic in the way JackAss is or OG Filthy Frank stuff, ya know? Soon, these will be the old days, so I'm loving the chaos while it lasts.
@@badgeoshame389 yeah but filthyfrank and them were chaotic but more controlled and funny, yknow? This is just a really strange guy who may be a serial killer and some random dudes from Craigslist threatening people with knives and cutting off peoples hair with swords in really unsafe manners. You can tell that if something actually went down, there’s no control over it.
"i think hamburgers and cheeseburgers work well with fries"
-George Washington
Very wise.
Ohhhh I think that was the hardest I laughed in the video
Lol i heard that as soon i read this lmao
how tf did they manage to make schlatt look like a normal, reasonable, sane human being capable of experiencing empathy
Timestamp?
@@quantumblauthor7300 The entire video
@@PolarisTheMorrigan ain't seeing it
@@quantumblauthor7300 Well, not everyone can see it don’t feel bad
@@quantumblauthor7300 i mean how when one of them would get hurt or smth he’d be like “oh shit maybe don’t do that” instead of being the one inflicting pain like he usually is
“That’s a real sword”
“T h a t s a r e a l s w o r d”
Sure is
Schlatt just shooting them randomly is killing me
It's killing them too
This one fuckin reply dude..
Just like American police 😀
@@Clickscap "YEA Heh Boi."
@@Clickscap I was about to fucking say that
BRO WAIT THIS IS WHY SCHLATT HAS BEEN POSTING PICS IN THE KING OUTFIT???? TFFFF.
The collab I never knew I needed.
lmfao yea hes strapped
Only reason i'm here tbh lol
@@Taaaamas - The OFFCANNY Boys are great. You should check out their other vids.
I'd sub, they're absolutely mad, but it's worth it
@@beachai5477 even in medieval times he’s got that thang on him
Literally any video with Jschlatt in it: “This is getting SUPER gay”
Yeah 😂
I love how the dude said their other videos weren't so gay, but I just watched all of them and I swear they turned me gay they were so gay. Watch the stripper one and you'll understand lmfao
“so hey, how do you feel about the current social economic climate”
“i believe that hamburgers and cheeseburgers work well with fries”
*walks away*
Refuses to elaborate further
He said what needed to be said
Dickiosus was on point . He knew what he was doing
😀
from da hood
@@mosesj2008 Sir, are you the fabled Dickiosus?
@@adumbooctopus1115 Tis I, humbe servant to the God King.
@@mosesj2008 HOLY SHIT!! Praise be sir Dickiosus of Nordincock.
"Hey how do you feel about the current social economic climate in America?"
"I think hamburgers and cheeseburgers work well with fries"
I think that will be my go to line from now on.
based
Yes that is what they said in the video
a man of truth
Bout sums it up
Hey, I mean... these dudes better not mess with the man who brutally murdered 15 women using nothing but his steeltoe Timberlands in 1999.
You know what they call him
@@liz_merr1003 what do they call him?
@@VANITREE You know 😳
There. Have it. 420 likes.
@@jukethebox6879 😳
‘Medieval footage’
Google: *shows realistic movie*
Bing:
Tremendously underrated Comment.
@@austinthesan-antonian3932 honestly I thought it was pretty unfunny
WHY THE FUCK DID MORE THAN 100 PEOPLE LIKE THIS, IT ISN’T FUNNY
Finally the footage im looking for
TBF the sexual assault was pretty historically accurate
"how do you feel about the current socio economic climate in america?"
"I think hamburgers and cheeseburgers work well with fries"
Honestly the smartest answer you can give
Yes, I also watched the same video that you did.
🍔🍟
@@mosesj2008 holy shit it’s him!!!
He's the man we need running this country. I'd proudly fly the flag of Sir Dickiosis
Sir Dickyiosis had the time of his life filming this
Absolutely did
@@mosesj2008 LORD DICKIOSUS OF NORDINGCOCK SPEAKS AND BRINGS US JOYUS NEWS
@@mosesj2008 PLEASE COME BACK FOR FUTURE VIDS YOU'RE HILLARIOUS
@@chiefgarvey11 I would love to, and if the gods deem it so, so will it be.
@@mosesj2008 you were so incredibly funny in this. Good luck in your future endeavors!
This is like the misfits but if they were openly gay and closeted straight instead of openly straight and closeted gay.
What?
exactly
This is correct
BRUH deadass the opposite of Misfits hahahahahaha
@@brooksy2520 bro
I like how he had a British accent, then the instant he gets a gun he goes full on hood mode, then when he looses it he goes back to British lmao
this was beautifully chaotic
K
i sack lol
isak y
penguin discord guy
Its a fuckint chaos
This is not very historically accurate.
They didn't have tomatoes back then.
the gun was the best weapon back then
I was impressed when they loaded the gun with period accurate ammunition.
tomatoes are liberal deep state propaganda
They didn’t have crack either
People actually thought that tomatoes were poisonous back then so yeah there weren’t many tomatoes
We must not ignore the greatness of Sir Dickyosis
This is very true
He was so good
Thank you
@@mosesj2008 Is that the rightful king Sir Dickyosis of Nordingcock himself?
@@mosesj2008 and subscribed. You stole the show man😂
I feel like Schlatt wasn't told to bring the gun, but he brought it anyway.
The man who brought the knife up to that man's throat, is the same kid who took lightsaber fights as a kid too seriously.
full force
He reminds me of being like 10 and the cringe of taking stuff like that too seriously.
*crackhead who brought the knife up to Jakob’s throat
Was probably told to be weird and be cringe
@@voixmin I wish that were the case but I sincerely, sincerely doubt it
Schlatt finally got his Big Hot Men
now he has 7 more to go
Imagine getting trained as knight just to be shot by a gun
That’s pretty much how the 1500s went
Samurai
They said in night class
"Do not bringeth thine sword to a gun fight."
parry this you fucking casual
Ah yes the american police system.
This was the day u realized schlatt’s glock is actually a paintball marker
Lime nah I think he has a real one jusy bring the prop one to lessen the body count on the vid
Yeah he has a real glock too
I thought it was an airsoft Glock?
@@DuckOnASkateboard im a year late but paintball co2 gun
dude moved to texas, he definitely has guns
Schlatt really did hire 3 male strippers in knights uniforms on Craig's list and I'm not even close to shocked.
😂😂
Yeah, it's just classic schlatt
Fuck this is the only place I can see sir dickiosus
I haven't seen something like this since the days of filthy frank
Frank would've called out the insane guy I feel lol.
Felt like I was back in 2016, love it
16:12 he makes the filthy frank face so you’re even more correct
I think you'd love the rest of OFFCANNY's videos then, I just finished bingewatching all the vids and I got that filthy frank vibe from every one of them
@@KingNin64Sure! I’m Gonna give them a watch. Thanks for the tip.
guys schlatt is actually barefoot in this. Those aren’t timbs, those are just his feet.
No toes? 😞
ya know why they call him steel toe?
@@skylertremblay3395 is it because of what he did to those women in 1999?
His hooves
this is my third time watching this video and I still cannot comprehend what is happening. i feel like i just witnessed a murder.
this is really just a fever dream. k never knew about this channel and I will probably never find it again but wtf happened here
@@raviosolaire this channel is an artifact, i hope you haven't forgot about it
@@zorcytox2844 ill be honest I forgot about it but this comment made me remember lmao
@@raviosolaire
Same.
@@raviosolaireremember again
Of course Schlatt has a gun, that shouldn't be a suprise.
he always keep that thang on him >:))
3 thoughts about this videos:
- very happy there's a video again
- sir Dickioses is a highlight of this video
- i couldn't understand a word that was said during the ad break.
Pretty sure its spelled Dickyosis
pretty sure its dicky o' sus
My 3rd thought would be that the guy with braids was fucking weird
@@Don-cm4qy That is all three of my thoughts on this.
@@junnKhya dicky o' was not an Impostor
15:18 “I feel like you’re blaming the gay undertones of this video on me, and I want you to know that I am - I’m not... that kinda guy.” *nods like he’s just said something profound*
Schlatt’s most recent video would prove otherwise
@@-yammie- what do you mean
@@roosahallback2588 his latest video proves that he very much does bring the gay undertones
@@-yammie- how so?
@@roosahallback2588 just... Search it?? Not that hard lol.
"I think hamburgers and cheeseburgers works perfect with fries"
I mean...... the man speaks the truth...
🙏🏾
Timestamp?
@@soviet_uniongoose6504 12:27
"I told you sir dickyosis is from the hood" , that's going on my wall
good
The entire concept of "king schlatt but with a gun" is absolutely hilarious to me
Sir Dickiosis of Nordingcock has earned my respect
He is from the hood after all
@@gub6645 the Nordingcock villages are brutal man, glad to see he made it out
THEY EDITED THE SMILE OF THE LEFT GUY ON TO THE OTHERS IN THE NEXT SCENE (1:24) IM DYING
I SAW THAT TOO. IT KILLED ME!
I WAS WORRIED ABOUT THAT LMAO
Oh lord I'm wheezing
That terrified me
12:15 That guy get s a gun and changes character completely hahaha
that's schlatt for ya
My man sir dickiosis
@@jweilageno thats sir dickiosus
11:35 you can see Schlatt genuinely thought about shooting that kids window for a second lmao
You're so right. Something about his look just shows you how much he had to fight not to do it lol
@@THEDONKAGE dude right?! I know that look cause I've been there... I mean who hasn't? 😂😂
@@THEDONKAGE I mean I wouldn’t have been able to control myself like he did
except with a real gun
@@jav2766 fatality!
Schlatts pretty smart, idk why they didn't also use guns during medieval times, easy king position
charlemagne used automatic rifles i think
@@jamesfry552 pretty sure he used lmgs specifically the m249 saw
@@luciddreamingtoohard yeah maybe dual wielded or something
Chess but awesome
Even almost 4 years later, this video is always in the back of my head. It truly is one of the funniest things I've ever watched
is anyone gonna point out how accurate schlatts aim is?
He's left handed as well
They dont call him Guns for no reason
kinda h-
Im gonna go out on a limb and say it's not his first time shooting people
@@tylerkerr225 yeah I mean, you heard about what happened in 1999 right?
surprised schlatt could aim that well ya know... with his parkinson’s n all
Don't forget about what he did to those women back in 1943
@free wifi I think it’s a bit but don’t quote me
@@ricardoronco9632 "i think its a bit but don't quote me" - ricardo Ronco 2020
@@mrlemonad6187 why would you do this to me!
@@ricardoronco9632 “why would you do this to me!” - Ricardo Rocco
this is my vote to add Sir Dickyosis of NordingCuck to the perma extras.
😃😃
@@mosesj2008 holy shit it’s HIM!!!
@@mosesj2008 my hero
@@mosesj2008 Sit Dickiousous, it is an honor
🙏
Sir Dickyosis Of Nordicum made me die of laughter when he quickly aquired the firearm from the king and started a hood man roleplay.
😎
Let it be known that I serve the true king @jschlatt “the merciful”. And pledge my divine allegiance to any future endeavors, all the while leading the armies of the East.
-Sir Dickyosis
The year of our Lord 2020
You were fucking amazing
@@madaralehehe1873 Thanks
Make them hire you again please
@@InnocentRiley Perhaps my lord will grant such a request.
Amen
like, because of the witcher soundtrack and schlatts timbs
i just noticed schlatt was wearing his timbs and im crying
Was looking for the comment about the soundtrack, thank you
Don’t forget the fable soundtrack
And oblivion.
The 2 knights: *does something*
Schlatt: *pulls out the Glock and shoots*
This is basically everything that happened starting from 6 minutes in the video
Something.
No shit.
Is he shooting blanks or am I stupid
@@misterguy1470 Airsoft
@@spartan4648 yeah I just realized, I was very confusrd
@@spartan4648 I think it's paintball, actually. You can see him reload it later with red paintballs, and their armor has red splats on it. Kinda wish we'd seen a headshot with it lmfao would've been hilarious.
12:27 this guy is so funny it’s killing me
He’s a great improv actor
Thanks
Can you tell us more about evony the kings return?
This is not the video nor collab I was expecting to see today
*Schlatt : "For Fxcks Sake , Why Is Everyone Saying I'm Gay ?! , I'm Not Gay ! "*
*Also Schlatt :* 8:20
He’s such a mood
OFFCANNY and schlatt?! Best crossover of 2020
ok redditor
@@bignicotine ok gat y y
@@spartan4648 swaos
Ikr
Sir dickyosis best crossover
I love how none of the guards fully broke character. When Dickiyosis was shooting the gun the two others just stared blankly
THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN
The boys are still alive?
@@humbertogarcia1491 barely
Girl!
**epic guitar solo**
This shit takes me back to 2014 youtube 👍
Yes.
kinda pog actually
Yeast
Yes Papa Franku and his -minions- friends
Honestly, i feel like this is a good alternative for nnn
This was both the funniest video while simultaneously scaring me for Garret's life
Garret? Jakob took all the damage here.
@@diegodeluquev1433 garret had his hair cut by a real sword. jakob only got shot a few times.
@@Storse not to mention the melon at his head
@@sleepylio yea he got fucking domed
@@sleepylio Then they rammed his head into the wood before putting him into the trap 😂
Imagine this will be the only proof humans existed
This would sum up humans pretty well
That would be awesome. Like a thousand years from now historians will go: The entire fking world burned down during the pandemic in the 2 thousands, this is our only evidence of Earth before the nukes
Not far from the truth
actually good representation
This should be picked up by adult swim and let it be aired on there. It just feels like late night vibe content
Loiter squad vibes
@@wineboba fr fr
“I think hamburgers and cheeseburgers work well with fries.” - Dickeosus 2020
Can we get Sir Dickyosis in the next offcanny video
😎
I second this motion I want that guy to come back
12:32 He speaks the truth, truly he is a Nobel wiseman.
I love that this is the first time some people are seeing Schlatt
I thought this was dead Godbless y’all are back
yes
The production quality is actually really good I'm not surprised it took this long
The real reason why there's a long break between each video is because they need therapy
9:59 I love the transition from laughing to him shooting and screaming at them
king Jschlatt surrounded by 3 of the biggest men they could find was something that I did not need, but I'm glad I found
the OFFCANNY crew finally found people that outmatch their craziness
oh boy
At 2:40 when the Viking says “With a big sword” you can hear the PHub intro playing.
I heard it lol
Dickyosis wasn't actually hired, he just knew where he was needed.
"I told you sir. Dickiosus is from the hood"
Tis I am
Yoooo it's him!!
"Does anyone see my glasses?"
*gets fucking shot*
The weak will not survive
This collab feels like a whole ass lucid dream
I know, right?
It’s even formatted like a dream, just random surreal scenes playing in random succession.
Jschlatt: *laughs along with the others and then suddenly shots at garett*
He's such a good twisted king. Just the laugh to shoot expression change is so good.
"I told you Sir Dickyiousis is from the hood"
Sir Dickyiousis was on some other shit
Very much so squire. ‘Tis I reside in a concrete forest.
I think hamburgers and cheeseburgers work well with fries
@@mosesj2008 u were amazing sir dickyiousus
@@MinuteMirror Thanks you😀
this whole video feels like a fever dream I would've had while being deliriously sick and also thirteen years old
This is what happens when you have way to many mods installed in skyrim
Half of the time I genuinely couldn’t tell if they’re breaking character or taking the roles too seriously... If they even were real roles and this isn’t even an act
9:03
"Anyone see my glasses?"
Jschlatt: 🔫😗
Sir Dickiosus carried this video
😎
Ay don’t forget jschlatt’s gun
"Yeah, You're actually bleeding"
"Where?"
"On your ear"
"What?"
"I get it"
*Laughing*
Priceless
i dont get it
@@eatnut he cant hear
@@Asdgkliq its still going over my head i dont get how its priceless
@@eatnut the joke is that when schlatt said "on your ear," he responded "what?" as if he couldn't hear him. therefore, schlatt said "i get it"
@@ghkbftuvut8851 i understand that but i still dont see where the joke is, if u cut your ear your still able to hear people?
2:40 man that’s a really wonderful beat. Probably the theme to an incredibly classy website that only the most rich and famous people can post to