Kiki, I'm so sorry about the loss of your husband. He sounded like a great guy, and I enjoyed your story about the R M Williams boots. I've been collecting for years and went through a phase of mad hauls. I've managed to slow down the collecting, as it ultimately doesn't feed the soul, but that itch to acquire is still there. And letting go is another issue. You would be an excellent coach because of your empathy and interest in the dynamics.
Great video Kiki, I only wish I could stop buying after collecting about 400 perfumes in 2 years. I feel almost embarrassed to say that all that money could buy me a new car. I would like to recommend watching one of the UA-camrs Christina Mychas (from Canada) videos, how to stop shopping and no buy habits. This might give you some inspiration and it worked for me for a while, but I am back to the old routine again. Good luck with your new venture, may be your methods will work for me better.
Thank you for your candidness and authenticity! It’s a lovely hobby but kinda pricy indeed. Some would even say frivolous.. It’s my partner who started this - unwittingly by getting me a voucher for a niche cosmetics shop back in 2019 . I had no idea there is a whole world of perfumes beyond designer fragrances. As I’ve always been on the hunt for THE scent that I’d call my signature, I easily got sucked in.. so intimidating at first (shop assistants are a bit snobby around here - I live in Brussels). I can now distinguish notes and appreciate florals and bolder gourmands. What would be nice is some advice on how to choose more wisely - projecting a bit your own style and vision on what to wear and when.. and complement with what the person is searching for. Sometimes I am only able to objectively and positively appreciate a perfume when I smell it on someone else . Or, an app that connects different communities. I’d love to know what groups exist in Belgium for swapping or sharing decants
Hey Kiki great topic! Sorry to hear about your loss, I also faced a loss and started this hobby about a year later. Maybe it’s a way to get some relief, who knows 😘 your idea seems good and useful, keep it up and see what you can do 😎
I know a bunch of people that started buying loads of perfume after a loss. I think there are some important truths to uncover if we explore this some more.
Thanks for this video and reminder. I'm sure it's more of a common problem that most think. I have the same type of personality, however I have been letting a lot of bottles go to fund new purchases.
If you enjoy perfumes, use them a lot, enjoy smelling them, get pleasure at looking at the bottles, having fun collecting perfume then don’t fight it. There are worse addictions out there. But, If it’s overwhelming you right now, give yourself a limit per month/ quarterly/yearly. I know I have a problem, but so what, it makes me happy, so stuff it 😅
Agree. I don't believe that my hobby has spiraled out of control, but that I can feel the emotional impulses and have found a way to conquer them and that I could teach and spread to others. That was the thought. The same way of thinking could be used in any area of consumption. The inspiration came from perfume so to speak. I love my collection!
The phone call at the end of your video is a sign that your ideas about managing this addiction are much needed! When I buy a bottle of perfume I think that money could also have gone to airfare, as both perfume and flights are transporting. And with some of the perfumes in my collection people around me WISH I had bought that airplane ticket instead! ✈️
You think so? Nice to hear. I understand that it will be difficult to find clients that want to sort of recover or find a better way to organise their life where they spend less and hold onto less, but it would be a service that would be bought seldom. I have some doubts, but am not exploring this territory academically and on social media to see what is already out there. Thank you for commenting!
Interesting video. You just gained a subscriber. I also ended up having some additions, I was crazy about Cinemas and Films. I even had an annual card that allowed me to go to the cinema twice day. I had to see every movie that came out. After a few years I gave up that card because the family complained that they didn't have time for her.
I limit myself to one bottle a month and tend to spend no more than $150 USD at anyone time. If I do go over, I won't buy anything the following month. Decanting has been a life saver for me too. Great topic for discussion. Cheers. 🍻
Great video, like a lot of us I am always looking for the next one and I have a “Wish list” of fragrances that I check daily for any discounts. I find more and more houses are doing smaller sizes but I usually opt for the larger size as the value is so much better - Duh! My other issue is I don’t like decants, I really must have the bottle or not at all! 😀😩
Used to feel the same way about decants, but have changed my view on them. For me they are sort of temporary. I have them just to be able to make a better decision on going for full bottle. What I don't like I swap with others. I think an important dimension in this hobby is the time we spend and the preoccupation in our minds about finding good deals etc. That comes at a cost too! All that precious time!
I have an obsessive personality also. It's so easy for me to dive into a hobby. I also love a good lineup and it's hard to not buy. I give some to my siblings but then I want to hold on to my favorites and they're all my favorites. I started collecting 3 years ago also and I’m thinking of maybe starting to review the ones I have. I joined my first swap group and I listed the one I want to sell today on poshmark. I'm trying to keep things in mind that I shouldn’t spend so much and I can’t let myself hoard. I just bought a lot of new ones on sale and I decided I won't buy another bottle until next year. Only decants or swaps. Hopefully by December I can actually clean out finished bottles. I saw someone on TikTok at an estate sale that had a lot of perfume and it made me think of what happens after.
I'll have to say that a sale sometimes get me to buy a perfume I am not sure of. Just like with clothes, my best buys have been the ones that I paid full price for. Because I am more aware and have thought it through. Thanks for commenting!
I think it is a great idea. I youse some of the things you sait too. Buy nothing that is like something i already own. Also. If i have trouble not buying something. Than i make sure to not watch UA-cam, not go to that part of a store. Not looking at websites or sales. So i am in controle of what is going in to my mind. And then later. I test myself. If my head gets troubled i know......i am not there yet. I am sorry for my terrible englisch.
Regarding perfumes, my passion has lasted more than 30 years but I have few bottles. I am a man of classic fragrances. However, I'm crazy about samples and decants to try new things. However it is difficult to get free samples in my country. If I had at least 20 or 30 samples of some collections I would be a man very happy.
@@rugby721 I don't like spending money on samples, but I probably would if I couldn't get ahold of what I wanted. I have a perfume community here in Sweden and it seems like there is always someone who can spare a few drops of whatever fragrance I am interested in. The usually we swap and I don't spend money.
Capitalism has its dark sides, unfortunately. Some of us tend to lock ourselves into a route and think we've found the route of "happines". A pleasure that for many lasts a few hours before the need for another dose appears. Such talk is important. #vicious_circle
I always think about the ones I have as being not that beautiful as the ones I don't have. If it makes sense :)) That s why I continously fight my hoarding issue with NO succes. For example, I feel that Oriana has more sillage than Love, while Love is more complex, and Sintra more tea-like. Tea in terms of 'green tea' Like that bitterish woody vibe. So... I really don't think I can, unless I find another 'thing' to replace the perfumes.
If you want them all in terms of owning and being able to wear the actual juice, then decants should do the job, right? If you only have three perfumes and love marshmallowy fragrances it would make total sense to own Sintra, Oriana and Love because you will use them and go through them, but if you have 100 fragrances that you are rotating, then decants would be enough or get one of them and decants of the other two. Would that work?
@@thehonestperfumereviewer6336 Well... I feel like decants are so deeply ugly. The labels, the bottles, the spray-er (oh, dear God, the sprayer is the worse part :)) ) I do own more than 100 full bottles, few travels and no decants, and I cannot agree more with the fact that buying similar is not the smartest thing to do. I try as much as possible to stick to travel sizes. That's the most I can do, and also to test much. As much as possible, as the excitement tends to leave the room. But I am thinking now to go for the newest Electimuss, Vici Leather, because I like it... But the most important factor it actually the novelty. Which is not a big deal in the end, right?! One month time and we'll be having at least 5 more new ones on the market. I didn't find 'the way' yet, but I am trying 🥺😵💫🙈😅
@@venusavenue1722 Decants are pretty ugly, agree! And sometimes the sprayer even smells like fish. Like there is a reaction with the juice and the plastic that gives off a fishy smell. Thank God is does not go into the juice and on to the skin.
I appreciate that you've opened up this important discussion. As Manly Scents mentioned, I would love to help out as well, being someone who has lived with obsessive/addictive behaviors, particularly with buying and collecting. I have a number of cautionary tales! The dopamine reward cycle is powerful in shopping addiction. Slowing down the 'hedonic treadmill' to a healthy pace after years of adapting to the behavior can be extremely difficult. I also see a lot of "enabling" behavior online as well, where fragrance enthusiasts may encourage reckless behaviors from their peers, albeit unwittingly. I am at hundreds of bottles (I shudder to even mention the exact amount) and this year, it really came to a head. For many of us, it is thinking that is the source and needs to be the focus; for many it could be past trauma, grief, etc; each story is unique but many of us can relate to each other's patterns of behavior and obsessive thinking. Approaching the issue compassionately and sensitively is key, and I sense you are more than capable of that. I would love to chat more! I've subscribed.
Thanks for commenting. You are so right about the enablers online. In our local group there is a lot of cheering on when someone is considering an expensive fragrance. I never do. Even if a person can afford it, it comes to a point where it doesn't make any sense. Lets keep in touch!
I love my collection too, but I can see that some of us in the community have gone past this point and it is getting out of control. I think maybe I could help them downsize and show them a way to enjoy this hobby without spending thousands of dollars. But it would of course not be for everyone.
We died, the contents in youtube still forever. Your sons will see you eveytime when they miss. May be they will buy perfumes base on your opinions. But nowsday, we ( frag. lovers ) want to know your experience with perfume. Just fun with it, make it like a hobby. We don't expect to see you have own brand perfume like jeremy or demi. It's too serious. No need to produce tons of videos. Just go on your way with happiness. Help people find suitable perfume like i found bottega from your video. Thanks Kicki ^__^ may be i try overture edp for woman from amouage soon.
Thank you for this comment. I am trying to find a way to support myself, but it is difficult. I don't want a super demanding career job, since I don't think I can handle it being alone with the house and kids. This channel is all just for fun. It makes me happy to share.
Kiki, I'm so sorry about the loss of your husband. He sounded like a great guy, and I enjoyed your story about the R M Williams boots. I've been collecting for years and went through a phase of mad hauls. I've managed to slow down the collecting, as it ultimately doesn't feed the soul, but that itch to acquire is still there. And letting go is another issue. You would be an excellent coach because of your empathy and interest in the dynamics.
🧡💜❤️ You’re telling my story. Great that you’ve posted this video. ❤️💜🧡
Same here ). Every detail is true.
Thank you for commenting!
Perris Monte Carlo! The house where Essence de Patchouli comes from.
Selling perfume decants of your collection is a great way to make this hobby continue.
Great video Kiki, I only wish I could stop buying after collecting about 400 perfumes in 2 years. I feel almost embarrassed to say that all that money could buy me a new car. I would like to recommend watching one of the UA-camrs Christina Mychas (from Canada) videos, how to stop shopping and no buy habits. This might give you some inspiration and it worked for me for a while, but I am back to the old routine again. Good luck with your new venture, may be your methods will work for me better.
Thank you for those comments and tip about Christina Mychas that I have never heard of. Will check her out!
Thank you for your candidness and authenticity! It’s a lovely hobby but kinda pricy indeed. Some would even say frivolous.. It’s my partner who started this - unwittingly by getting me a voucher for a niche cosmetics shop back in 2019 . I had no idea there is a whole world of perfumes beyond designer fragrances. As I’ve always been on the hunt for THE scent that I’d call my signature, I easily got sucked in.. so intimidating at first (shop assistants are a bit snobby around here - I live in Brussels). I can now distinguish notes and appreciate florals and bolder gourmands. What would be nice is some advice on how to choose more wisely - projecting a bit your own style and vision on what to wear and when.. and complement with what the person is searching for. Sometimes I am only able to objectively and positively appreciate a perfume when I smell it on someone else . Or, an app that connects different communities. I’d love to know what groups exist in Belgium for swapping or sharing decants
Thank you for sharing this. I spoke to JJ Colbourne this week; he's starting a support group. I shared this video with him 😉
I don't know who that is, but will check it out now! Thank you for commenting!
Hey Kiki great topic! Sorry to hear about your loss, I also faced a loss and started this hobby about a year later. Maybe it’s a way to get some relief, who knows 😘 your idea seems good and useful, keep it up and see what you can do 😎
I know a bunch of people that started buying loads of perfume after a loss. I think there are some important truths to uncover if we explore this some more.
@@thehonestperfumereviewer6336 probably someone like a psychologist would help in understanding the mechanisms. We shall see what to do about it ❤️
Thanks for this video and reminder. I'm sure it's more of a common problem that most think. I have the same type of personality, however I have been letting a lot of bottles go to fund new purchases.
Thank you for commenting! There are a lof of us out there.
If you enjoy perfumes, use them a lot, enjoy smelling them, get pleasure at looking at the bottles, having fun collecting perfume then don’t fight it. There are worse addictions out there. But, If it’s overwhelming you right now, give yourself a limit per month/ quarterly/yearly. I know I have a problem, but so what, it makes me happy, so stuff it 😅
Agree. I don't believe that my hobby has spiraled out of control, but that I can feel the emotional impulses and have found a way to conquer them and that I could teach and spread to others. That was the thought. The same way of thinking could be used in any area of consumption. The inspiration came from perfume so to speak. I love my collection!
The phone call at the end of your video is a sign that your ideas about managing this addiction are much needed! When I buy a bottle of perfume I think that money could also have gone to airfare, as both perfume and flights are transporting. And with some of the perfumes in my collection people around me WISH I had bought that airplane ticket instead! ✈️
You think so? Nice to hear. I understand that it will be difficult to find clients that want to sort of recover or find a better way to organise their life where they spend less and hold onto less, but it would be a service that would be bought seldom. I have some doubts, but am not exploring this territory academically and on social media to see what is already out there. Thank you for commenting!
Interesting video. You just gained a subscriber. I also ended up having some additions, I was crazy about Cinemas and Films. I even had an annual card that allowed me to go to the cinema twice day. I had to see every movie that came out. After a few years I gave up that card because the family complained that they didn't have time for her.
Thank you for commenting and subscribing. I think a lot of us fragheads have also been obsessive about other things.
I limit myself to one bottle a month and tend to spend no more than $150 USD at anyone time. If I do go over, I won't buy anything the following month. Decanting has been a life saver for me too.
Great topic for discussion. Cheers. 🍻
You seem to be in control, good for you! Thanks for commenting.
Great video, like a lot of us I am always looking for the next one and I have a “Wish list” of fragrances that I check daily for any discounts. I find more and more houses are doing smaller sizes but I usually opt for the larger size as the value is so much better - Duh! My other issue is I don’t like decants, I really must have the bottle or not at all! 😀😩
Used to feel the same way about decants, but have changed my view on them. For me they are sort of temporary. I have them just to be able to make a better decision on going for full bottle. What I don't like I swap with others.
I think an important dimension in this hobby is the time we spend and the preoccupation in our minds about finding good deals etc. That comes at a cost too! All that precious time!
I have an obsessive personality also. It's so easy for me to dive into a hobby. I also love a good lineup and it's hard to not buy. I give some to my siblings but then I want to hold on to my favorites and they're all my favorites. I started collecting 3 years ago also and I’m thinking of maybe starting to review the ones I have. I joined my first swap group and I listed the one I want to sell today on poshmark. I'm trying to keep things in mind that I shouldn’t spend so much and I can’t let myself hoard. I just bought a lot of new ones on sale and I decided I won't buy another bottle until next year. Only decants or swaps. Hopefully by December I can actually clean out finished bottles. I saw someone on TikTok at an estate sale that had a lot of perfume and it made me think of what happens after.
I'll have to say that a sale sometimes get me to buy a perfume I am not sure of. Just like with clothes, my best buys have been the ones that I paid full price for. Because I am more aware and have thought it through. Thanks for commenting!
You're so right, Kicki! 👍
I think it is a great idea. I youse some of the things you sait too. Buy nothing that is like something i already own. Also. If i have trouble not buying something. Than i make sure to not watch UA-cam, not go to that part of a store. Not looking at websites or sales. So i am in controle of what is going in to my mind. And then later. I test myself. If my head gets troubled i know......i am not there yet.
I am sorry for my terrible englisch.
No need to apologize. I understood what you wrote, thanks for commenting!
Regarding perfumes, my passion has lasted more than 30 years but I have few bottles. I am a man of classic fragrances. However, I'm crazy about samples and decants to try new things. However it is difficult to get free samples in my country. If I had at least 20 or 30 samples of some collections I would be a man very happy.
Interesting. Where are you from? Can you not shop for samples online from other countries?
@@thehonestperfumereviewer6336 Portugal!!! I was talking when I buy some parfum in a store get free samples. But yes I will buy online.
@@rugby721 I don't like spending money on samples, but I probably would if I couldn't get ahold of what I wanted. I have a perfume community here in Sweden and it seems like there is always someone who can spare a few drops of whatever fragrance I am interested in. The usually we swap and I don't spend money.
@@thehonestperfumereviewer6336 So Lucky Girl!!
Capitalism has its dark sides, unfortunately. Some of us tend to lock ourselves into a route and think we've found the route of "happines". A pleasure that for many lasts a few hours before the need for another dose appears.
Such talk is important.
#vicious_circle
Thank you for commenting!
I always think about the ones I have as being not that beautiful as the ones I don't have. If it makes sense :)) That s why I continously fight my hoarding issue with NO succes. For example, I feel that Oriana has more sillage than Love, while Love is more complex, and Sintra more tea-like. Tea in terms of 'green tea' Like that bitterish woody vibe.
So... I really don't think I can, unless I find another 'thing' to replace the perfumes.
If you want them all in terms of owning and being able to wear the actual juice, then decants should do the job, right? If you only have three perfumes and love marshmallowy fragrances it would make total sense to own Sintra, Oriana and Love because you will use them and go through them, but if you have 100 fragrances that you are rotating, then decants would be enough or get one of them and decants of the other two. Would that work?
@@thehonestperfumereviewer6336 Well... I feel like decants are so deeply ugly. The labels, the bottles, the spray-er (oh, dear God, the sprayer is the worse part :)) )
I do own more than 100 full bottles, few travels and no decants, and I cannot agree more with the fact that buying similar is not the smartest thing to do. I try as much as possible to stick to travel sizes. That's the most I can do, and also to test much. As much as possible, as the excitement tends to leave the room. But I am thinking now to go for the newest Electimuss, Vici Leather, because I like it... But the most important factor it actually the novelty. Which is not a big deal in the end, right?! One month time and we'll be having at least 5 more new ones on the market.
I didn't find 'the way' yet, but I am trying 🥺😵💫🙈😅
@@venusavenue1722 Decants are pretty ugly, agree! And sometimes the sprayer even smells like fish. Like there is a reaction with the juice and the plastic that gives off a fishy smell. Thank God is does not go into the juice and on to the skin.
I appreciate that you've opened up this important discussion. As Manly Scents mentioned, I would love to help out as well, being someone who has lived with obsessive/addictive behaviors, particularly with buying and collecting. I have a number of cautionary tales! The dopamine reward cycle is powerful in shopping addiction. Slowing down the 'hedonic treadmill' to a healthy pace after years of adapting to the behavior can be extremely difficult. I also see a lot of "enabling" behavior online as well, where fragrance enthusiasts may encourage reckless behaviors from their peers, albeit unwittingly. I am at hundreds of bottles (I shudder to even mention the exact amount) and this year, it really came to a head. For many of us, it is thinking that is the source and needs to be the focus; for many it could be past trauma, grief, etc; each story is unique but many of us can relate to each other's patterns of behavior and obsessive thinking. Approaching the issue compassionately and sensitively is key, and I sense you are more than capable of that. I would love to chat more! I've subscribed.
Thanks for commenting. You are so right about the enablers online. In our local group there is a lot of cheering on when someone is considering an expensive fragrance. I never do. Even if a person can afford it, it comes to a point where it doesn't make any sense. Lets keep in touch!
@@thehonestperfumereviewer6336 yes, let’s! ☺️
How do you know if people wants to get help?
I don't really. That is why I am doubting this whole thing. And if they need help, why they would come to me...
I think you are overthinking this ;). I love my collection ❤️
I love my collection too, but I can see that some of us in the community have gone past this point and it is getting out of control. I think maybe I could help them downsize and show them a way to enjoy this hobby without spending thousands of dollars. But it would of course not be for everyone.
@@thehonestperfumereviewer6336 true
We died, the contents in youtube still forever.
Your sons will see you eveytime when they miss. May be they will buy perfumes base on your opinions.
But nowsday, we ( frag. lovers ) want to know your experience with perfume. Just fun with it, make it like a hobby. We don't expect to see you have own brand perfume like jeremy or demi. It's too serious. No need to produce tons of videos. Just go on your way with happiness.
Help people find suitable perfume like i found bottega from your video.
Thanks Kicki ^__^ may be i try overture edp for woman from amouage soon.
Thank you for this comment. I am trying to find a way to support myself, but it is difficult. I don't want a super demanding career job, since I don't think I can handle it being alone with the house and kids. This channel is all just for fun. It makes me happy to share.