I am Addicted to Buying Shoes | Spendaholics | Only Human
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- Опубліковано 31 гру 2019
- Desperate to change, Adeline has just 5 weeks to crack her spending addiction and start living within her means. Despite earing £30K per year, she's managed to amass a debt of £17K. Adeline's big love affair is with shoes, and she's always looking for the newest addiction to her collection.
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#OnlyHuman #Spendaholics #ShopaholicDocumentary
I love how all the places around Brighton are so irrelevant that on tv shows they always say "near Brighton"
It's like everywhere else, even Wikipedia lookup celebrities like Charlotte Crossby will say she's from Sunderland. BUT WHEREABOUTS? Hendon, Ryhope, Ashbrook Seaham Fullwell?
I would love to see "Where Are They Now?" episodes of all the people in this show. Have they been able to pay off their debts and combat their shopping addiction? What are they up to now?
I’ve been a right saddo and found a couple of them on Instagram and are doing really well ! 🤣 xx
@@ClocloX haha you're not a saddo i'm glad you looked them up and saved us the stress.
@@ClocloX That's great, means the program worked for them!
I've not got the skill set to do it my self but it's such a great idea for a you tube channel to do follow ups for all these old shows
I feel like people who are addicted to shopping or buying things are just trying to fill a void with things or trying to forget/bury things albeit temporarily
100% accurate. Self experience
Yep!
Maria Shimajiri.
What would you say about people who collected stamps? Cars? Postcards? To the vast majority is just a hobby. Karen Evangelista doctor of psychology.
Susana Duarte.
Try 25% accurate. Read the rest of my message to Maria and you'll get it perhaps.
It's true... I do too... Or rather I did... Cold turkey for about a month now... Watching these series really helps to stay on track... I'm not in debt, always shopped within my budget, but still wayyy too much and often and for all the wrong reasons... I'm now focused on healing what's beneath it all, finally truly starting to love myself, cause apparently I didn't or else there's no void to fill..... ❤❤❤
Her husband pays the bills,food and mortgage/rent and what she earns is her spending money. I would love to have £30k to spend on myself.
She is still in debt though yikes... Damn
Geez. All of my debt is student loans and medical debt. Most of my clothes and shoes are over a decade old...and I got most of those clothes from the thrift store. I'm VERY good at taking care of what I have. I swear I have to cut more stuff every year - at least exercise and sleep are free, lol.
that is so unrealistic. No wonder she spends so much because her family take all the financial responsibility away from more.
Elisa Hamilton SO WHAT??
Its kind of sad that she actually over spending because she's trying to make herself feel better because she's unhappy with the reality that as a woman, she's not worth as much & as lovely as her husband is, he doesn't really get that she doesn't want to be a kept wife stuck in the house & instead of support for change for women, you're like, pay me to do nothing, I'd love it!
So the husband is making 120,000£ a year and they live in that dump? And she has debts? I’m confused 😅😂
That’s what I thought too. Sweet girl, but not sure why she buys so many depreciating items of style and no style for her home. The other thing, why are they suggesting she spend £50 a month more on shoes/clothes when she already has 50x more than she needs for years, instead of paying off credit cards with the £50? Just sounds like bad advice.
@@karenhollywood3523 because she’s obsessed with shoes and it’s not realistic to ask her to completely stop. They’re not trying to change their personalities just their worst habits.
I'm so lucky NEVER to be confused by a problem like that.
😢
When he was reading out ‘petite’ thinking it was the brand name 🤣🤣
I think her and her husband are so sweet and great together. Everyone has flaws but I think they are a great team.
I'm really glad she & her husband were given help & received it! So much of this overspending/hoarding seems to be rooted in trauma/pain.
I needed this because I spend a lot of money too, no debts, but I spent so much the past year.
Patricia Anne You’ve got this🙌🏻✨
Me too. Should be saving.
Indeed
I have two pairs of trainers, a smart pair for work and a weekend pair - I wear shoes until they fall apart! The shoe thing is beyond belief. I hope Adeline's doing better....
I had a marriage like this and was the most unhappiest, loneliest person on planet earth. I couldn't understand what was wrong. Years later, I read the book, The Five Love Languages and it hit me like a brick. My then husband was not understanding my love languages, just as Mark isn't understanding Adelines, and my life was running or crashing is more like it, running on an empty, unfulfilled love tank of any appreciation and understanding. It is like living life with a knife in your heart and actually hurts. If I had had this book all those years ago, we could have understood one another, and probably still been together to this day. My love language was needing touch and a real heart felt hug, but my then husband would change the oil in the car and think it was showing me love. Each partner must speak the other persons love language to each other, even if at first it feels foreign. Now when I buy wedding presents for people I buy them a copy of the book. I wish you two well.
Awww her and her husband are cute together. Good for her that she’s trying to get help. It’s really hard to ask a professional to help you STOP something that feels so satisfying and safe. I grew up poor and homeless on and off all through my childhood. When I go shopping, I feel so happy and secure. It’s like I step into an alternate universe where I can afford anything I want and I never have to worry. And the makeup and handbags I buy are like enchanted tokens from my little fantasy world lmao. Most of these comments are very ignorant and bitter. There is no reason to believe she’s stupid, 80% of the people in my country are in debt. It happens to the best of us. I don’t know if I’d call this a true addiction, but her feelings are very intense and deep and I feel for her.
I grew up very poor, and still not rich lol
But thank God my husband work very hard for my girl and i. We know we live very good, compare to a lot of peolpe! yeah sometimes i want to go to a store and buy almost everything that i want to But that is not possible, however i feel blessed and thankful that i can stay home and rise our baby girl 🙏🙏🙏🙏
@@dianaposada6781 That is a big blessing!
Love this show, especially how Jay Hunt and Benjamin Fry help each spendaholic tackle their debts and spending issues. Wish we had a similar show in my part of the world!
Eh the vacations are worth it ; the shoes not. 🤸 I wish I could go away more often .
Vacations are one of the biggest wastes of money
@@bigbeatyswollocks4859 Why do you say that
So many mindless comments. She has an addiction, she needs therapy, she needs help and she’s getting it (has got it, I know this video is old). You may not like the shoes she buys, but she does and that’s enough. As for travel, you’ll never forget the experiences you have whilst travelling, so do it!
I’m so glad to watch this because I have the same issues as she does and I want to make a change.
Me too.. love shoes and can't stop. This year i'll try not to buy any.
Seek therapy
Me2
I have the same problem, only with clothes.
I been on a no buy year and so far it’s been 25 days I didn’t buy anything other than food and I have been avoiding shopping and I saved so much money so far it’s great
This episode is 11 years old, it might as well be 30 years old considering her taste in shoes.
Funny how quickly it changes eh? So stylish then and so dated now
Seeing her fashion ‘taste’, I would’ve thought that this episode was from 2001...
It’s 2020 now.
Ha, after plantar faciatis flares, one can never wear heels again; have to wear orthopedic shoes always after that.
@@avskardi I agree, def early 2000's shoes.
I love it that she saw that marriage is a team success. Not an individual living parallel lives together.
Why not just take her cards away if you can’t handle your money but you have someone who can handle it for you don’t hold it. Don’t go out alone with all the debit cards or take cash
She has an emotional addiction.
That’s not how you deal with addictions
Because the second she has any control over money again, she'll go straight back. Maybe even worse than before.
I had a boyfriend also working in IT, and it looked like he prefers most of the time being with his stuff and video games. I always had to be the one to insit in getting out or do so something we like. And he never wanted to talk to me about his feelings. Did anyone live the same with an IT partner?
My brothers work in IT and so does my cousin, but none of us game
Meh someone choosing to spend time not with their gf dont matter the profession - find a new man, girl
The IT geeks all have a touch of autism - or as one says, they are all on the spectrum. Not Al lot but definitely some. IMHO
Thats why I avoid It geeks. They live in their own world.
This is a common complaint with most who are in the whole technology sector. I work in IT by the way and see it on a daily basis XD.
Lol i was overspending on shoes for some time in 2019 and i snapped out of it when my bank account's getting wrecked. I had like at least 3 pairs a month. Thank goodness i got out of it without debts
I am a woman, and never understood the shoe obsession some women have. I have a total of 5 pairs (winter dark and light, summer dark and light, tennis shoes).
I like shoes. But I prefer flat soles shoes. Boots like Doc Martin's. Sandshoes. Or ballet flat type shoes. I have about 20 pairs. But new pair in. Old pair out. Half of them I dont wear. But have donated or given away about 20 pairs recently. Trying to minimize clothes and shoes. And junk really haha
omg same lol it might be my habit of wearing floor-length clothing so when I look in the mirror I'm always like "meh all I need is the correct height and who cares if I'm always wearing the same shoe" lol
How exciting for you
You’d have to be feminine to get it. Though she’s not feminine herself but still
Similar. Winter runners, summer runners, slippers, dress shoes and combat boots for long walks
I love how ben is utterly clueless in ladies stuff and brands etc
Thank you, Jay and Benjamin, for teasing out the emotional reasons behind all the cases. It's helping me to learn about my own behaviour. I just keep my finances under control by thrifting.
I watched this show years ago and it fixed my overspending. Turns out I hadn't addressed the issue of my mum and dad's divorce when I had to leave everything behind in the split. I do feel sorry for the people on the show.
She has great teeth
Yes her teeth are lovely
For a britt
They look big. And too white if that's possible
@@magikarp2285 lol
@@trudesinadelaide imagine ...ewwww look at her teethhhh they are sooo whitee!!! Yuck
Just discovered the series. 11 trips in 12 months! That sounds exhausting.
I like how they don't force her to stop buying çold turkey, but just modify.
baby steps
Only but if the cold turkey is 3 for 2
@@peterhigginsson9875 True!
I really enjoyed this! Lovely girl and I'm glad that she's doing so well.
This is why you should buy quality over quantity. I have 14 pairs of heels all good quality and oldest 3 pairs are 7 years old and still in top condition
I prefer the old Canadian Til Debt Us Do Part. I feel they teach better skills and make a clear plan for debt repayment
What kind of deals is she getting on travel???? Although, abroad would include anywhere in Europe and the Chunnel exists. Being an American, just travelling across the country can be quite expensive.
Also, Americans don't vacation (go on holiday) very often, so we often do spend quite a bit of money when we do. Employers do not have to give any vacation time (paid or unpaid) and even some that get paid vacation don't take it.
For you is expensive for us europeans os quite afordable
Even if the husband is willing to paying all the bills is it fair to him that he is doing so? Over time resentment is likely to build and possibly the marriage would end. If she loves her husband she would give to the household expenses to show respect. Or, put money into a retirement plan for both of them. She should be equally concerned with her husband as she is with herself.
So nice of her. She's helping the shoes industries.
😂
That was sad tbh - I mean, I feel her i really do, it's like having problematic relationship with your parents really does set a tone for how you might behave as an adult, in a relationship especially. It's so difficult to be expected to live up to someone else's standards (in this case earnings) - I believe most of us are very self critical to begin with.
It's definitely not a healthy choice to go out and spend so much, but I mean it is obvious the real problem is something else. That emotional void, a feeling of being misunderstood, not appreciated, not enough, the list goes on.....
I hope by now she and her husband have their life sorted out.
OMG if they went through my purse closet and candle cabinets, they’d commit me😝😝😝
I'm such a candle fan too! When Bath & Body Works have a sale, I stock up big-time!
So we not gonna admit how amazing her teeth n smile are
Stunning!
A lot of guys who have been into me have just wanted to throw money /gifts at me and it is really concerning. I do think men equate love with money spent and we women do tend to equate things with happiness. It feels all very sad to me. Also yes I do think I am generalizing , but just something I have noticed.
I was just thinking about it when they were talking about her father.
Well, the book, ``5 Languages Of Love,'' (or something like that, by [something] Chapman, says that people fall into categories of showing love through 1. gifts, 2. praise, 3. physical touch, 4. quality time and 5. acts of servitude. So . . .one-fifth of people would show love through gifts, primarily. Although everyone likes all these things, a guy is gonna try . . .
Lucky u I get cheap guys , I think only one bf every gave me a gift.
You might been attract to them actually, I've only had maybe one who was buying me things. A problem for me too in the opposite side, I would like to have a balance where we could both buy gifts to each others without judging about how we are living in a society of consumers. I must send the wrong message as well when I'm saying I don't want to depend on someone.
@@jborrego2406u have to ask 😊 if he doesn't spend on you he ll do it elsewhere
I like buying work clothes (I’m a hairdresser) and work sneakers. But I never buy expensive shoes. Usually from Walmart, tjmaxx, Ross, etc. and usually on sale. They get covered in hair so fast there’s no sense in spending a lot.
Good work!
Loved this episode 😊
Jay and Ben are so likeable. They help to get their subject back on track. I'm amazed that the Husband and Father keep bailing her out. That's a dysfunctional family. Her Hubby and Dad are enablers for her overspending.
I love holidays abroad. Better than shopping binges. At least I work enough to afford my own traveling even though I am just a student, but I choose better
Imagine me spending so much money, my husband would be "bye bye you and your shoes" 👋👋
The book "30 Days to Stop Being a Shopaholic" by Harper Daniels is good. It uses a mindfulness and meditation approach to get to the root. It's fun too. It's easy to overspend without the right perspective of self.
These prices, this must be filmed 20 year’s ago.
Why are her credit cards in the kitchen drawer??? Is that just for this show, her thing, or a
English thing??
Kali Kali am English, most of us have purses like normal people
@@livwake Oh. Good to know. I happen to keep the extra cards I am not using way back in my closet and all the rest in my wallet.
Husband & I have ONE credit card, on purpose & still live a very nice life!
I don't have a credit card. And I don't feel the need for one. Last year I went to Bali for three months I didn't have one. Check out Dave Ramseys financial advice.
No fan of credit cards, i rather just have debit so can get any i need and can keep track what i spend any.
I love cute shoes too but the most I possessed at one point was exactly ten pairs... only being able to wear each shoe twice a month on average really was too much. Now at any given time I wear two pairs - slippers for close to home like next-block close, and runners for the season. My shoe cabinet holds just-in-case dress shoes, runners of the other season and a pair of walkers for those days I have to walk a LOT or be on my feet all day
I like this show, it’s also reminder for me to watch my shopping habits ☺️.
I love shoes, clothes & bags & have a great collection. BUT, I spend within my means. Get payed, pay the bills, put in to savings & then spend any leftover. I have absolutely no debt & no credit cards.
I would be afraid of roaches or bug infestations with so much clutter around :/
hahaha "petite is not the label, it's the size!" how you know benjamin is very wise psychologically but still very much a man!! i do really usually like his advice and "psychological digging," at any rate. the other guy they have on this "spendaholics" show i'm not too crazy about.
Okay I know she has a problem with spending but her husband was SOO sweet about it
Spending on travel is never badly spent
Go to Bali. Best money you'll ever spend. Trust me. I've been twice, two months the first time and three months last year.
Not very good for environment to go 11 times in a year though 😬
It is when you go in debt for it
Wait over 3k for 11 vacations?!
Wow that was amazing they figured out why. And you were doing it
My daughter loves shoes but pays little and only has a few special ones. I buy mine at thrift stores, so if they break easy to throw out. I bought one new pair recently for $4 an wore them 3 times. The sole cracked off. threw them away. now I have another pair foe $5 that are holding up well.. As a single mum. I can't afford new pairs from new stores.
I live in Tunbridge Wells! Not many shops there these days
Lmaoooooo 5:20
Gimme the labels
Okay, petite, petite
Good show for sure
I have a spending addiction and it's because of my eating habits and video game needs and my therapist says my drive is emotional witch is mostly caused by alot of trauma and adverse exsperiences
My mother is a huge enabler and an abuser and a drug addict and a spend food aholic herself me and my mom were toxic for eachother that's why I'm done putting up with her and her crazy messed up boyfriend
I love how you call the video games a need. Video games aren’t a NEED
Don't Eat Animals that’s not a real need tho!! People need food, people need shelter, people need water. Needs are things people will die with out! That’s why there’s food stamps and help with rent but people can’t get assistance with video games.
She is laughing like its funny. Her husband and father are NO help. She spends what she doesnt have and they continue to bail.
Just curious how one "accidentally" buys a pair of shoes. Could expain why I can never balance my checkbook. 🤔
I do not get it: their joint revenues are 150.000 pounds. Why should she be living like she only gets 30.000 pounds?
She's keeps his books in check cause if she didn't she couldn't keep up her addiction
She is headed for divorce. All anyone needs is one low credit line credit card. But because she lives in Europe, 11 trips for only that much wow. I live in the US and it cost me $1000 more to spend 2 weeks in the UK and Paris.
She lives in England not Europe.
Mr 5 which is in Europe
Still married 15 years later and with 2 kids too
@@JollyRogerTheDodger Ummmmm...where do you think England is
"It's better to have loved and lost than to live with the psycho the rest of your life..."
Why would there be a theme of pleasing others behind overspending? If you were trying to please other then wouldn't you not spend, especially if your spending disappoints them
I would love to run off on a weekend to a spa.
why is benginmin blinking so much when he was talking to her mom
This show is very entertaining but so unrelatable to the USA. $300-1,500 for rent? $350 for a spa retreat weekend with champagne? 🤣🤣 nope!
I hate shoe shopping. 😬 it’s always a hassle for me because I wear a 5 USA in women’s and most shoe stores I go to has 6 and up. I usually spend 70$ on a pair of shoes, but it lasts a long time so I don’t have to go back shoe shopping for a few years.
GardenRose I have the same problem. I am also a size 5 US, and order online. I know UGGs fit, and they last a long time, so the money is worth it. However, now that we are shelter in place due to the corona virus, I am so tempted to sit in front of the TV with my credit card. So, I try not to shop.
Evelyn Shore I’m like a old lady 😂 I hate online shopping I like going in stores and look around.
Try youth sizes?:)
I sold shoes for years. I know that women buy shoes to feel better. Because they work in jobs where they are treated like CRAP, or they have been through terrible financial times and finely have a BIT of money, they go wild. Buying "nice things" makes them feel safe, secure, happy. Buying a lot of food is a sign that they are trying to make up for a big emptiness inside.
I am on disability and have bad feet. I have four sets of footwear; the expensive walking shoes in a man's super wide, the expensive pair of men's sandals in super wide, the expensive pair of women's ankle winter boots in super wide, and the around the house rubber sandals in a man's size. Irony.
What shocks me is watching the husband and wife sit down to eat, AND HAVE THEIR LAPTOPS IN FRONT OF THEM!!!! NO!!! When you sit down to eat together, the laptops stay on the desks!!! You TALK to your partner over dinner!!! No wonder she shops like she does, HE IGNORES HER!!!!
One pair of designer shoes does not match the different outfits.
Merci
She really needs consistent therapy to address the reasons she shops & vacations & they could use some help in their relationship too cuz her husband is a very ignorant man.
Yeah, one reason many want in a relationship (unconsciously) is to have someone who can put yourself together and not let you do absolutely whatever you want and can. What fun is it to be with someone who never is a challenge?
I think buying a cheap 2 pound sandwich is good idea but if you have the time to make it at home ok. No need to go to strict on food.
Who has their credit card statements sitting right there on top of the dresser especially when she's married and probably doesn't want her husband to know what she's spending they should have to dig for this information
she truly is crazy
The clip of them on the carousel was so weird and creepy ahahhahaha
why not stop going to shops altogether? she does not need an clothes or shoes ... she could stay away from the shops for a year and clear her debt ... the grocer / chemist is required that is it .....
She spends like she earns the same as her husband, which in reality she should be as she works as hard as him. Its unfair that women who work as hard if not harder get far less for their time. Its outdated and needs to be changed! She seems like a lovely lady. And I hope she can get out of debt soon. I'm horrendous with money "my own" I spend pretty much everything I have on my little boy, although I do have enough to feed and house us. Apart from buying for my son I have no extra to go out and buy anything for myself lol. But that's just mums for you. As long as my son has, I'm happy. But once I've money he always gets something new, and most of the time he probably doesn't need it and I should be saving it for his future. This year I'm determined to correct my crazy spending and save it for when my son is 16 for driving lessons and a car or college. PS thier kitty is gorgeous 🙂
Disagree with paring down the food budget. Only having a 2 days worth of food on hand is not a smart plan - especially in these times when inflation and shortages are running wild. "In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil..." Proverbs 21:20
First this is not USA where shortages are a thing… second this was 15 years ago.
I love shopping too tho
@L D lol
whats with the camera
How often does she travel with her husband?
d bzennie she doesn’t seem too , just her girlfriends.
i want more
Mark needs to step up and let his wife knows he loves her!
Does she not know you can freeze most things? You can pre-make and freeze meals too. So nice to have homemade food (especially homemade soup in the winter and when sick) when you don't feel like cooking. I also 1) love cooking, especially soups, 2) broke AF, so I'm a bit biased.
For most people with a compulsion disorder, their motto is if one is good 10 is better.
her husband seems to be talking about a peer instead of his wife
It takes me three years to buy 5 pairs of footwear.
Right! This is how it should be, people are so wasteful nowadays, I wear shoes until I wear them out
When people cant think they need to call the professionals
The title....I feel so attacked lol
It's even more annoying when they don't try when they have a family
She doesn't even has taste in shoes...
Wonder if she also is addicted to watching Shoenice vids too 😎
It's a shame when people do this. Fashion trends change rather quickly lol
wow.
Mean while I save like a crazy person. And lose actual sleep over the 6 points I have on my license
She's done something to her teeth. They look kinda fake and too white. That can't have been cheap either. I do feel bad for her when she talks about her father's expectations towards her. I can somewhat relate.
Why do these shopaholics buy the ugliest things???!!!