Something I've always found very helpful is to have some basic knowledge relating to the event/gathering you're attending. For example, if you're attending an art show, spend 30 minutes learning about the artist and perhaps what inspired this certain sculpture or that certain painting. This actually gives you something to talk about to others rather than just asking a lot of questions to find out about someone.
Dr. Cooper, thank you for making these. I have autism and, in turn, struggle with social situations--your videos on etiquette are quite helpful in this regard. If you are willing to, please make more of them!
Thank you for your comment, Gregory. My son is a young adult man with autism and he really struggles with appropriate conversation etiquette and I'm searching for videos that might help him. Are there any other videos that you can suggest? If not, it's okay. Have a great day! ❤
14:09 regarding interrupting, it's also important to be aware of health issues that may be affecting someone's cognition in ways they may not even be aware of. Autoimmune neurological issues, or ADD/ADHD or other brain disorders may make it difficult for someone to not interrupt when they think of something because they're afraid they may forget it by the time you get done talking. they may also just have a hard time following a conversation in general. There can be some give-and-take here in that someone with cognitive issues could ask for help remembering what they were going to ask when you're done talking. Or the person who notices the other felt they needed to say something could take the initiative to help them create a sort of mental "bookmark" that they could both tried to return to. It seems awkward but it is part of making room for people's weaknesses. Since i have developed chronic pain issues / chronic migraines I have found that sentiment times I cannot even finish my own sentences without forgetting what I was going to say. If I think of something that is important and needs to be done or said, sometimes I have to get it out before I lose track of my train of thought again. To people struggling with brain fog, this is a constant source of stress and frustration and many times a feeling of helplessness, and we know it also frustrates those with whom we want to be able to carry on a conversation.
A very interesting series. The truth is that it is a topic that I have been confronted with lately and these tips are undoubtedly of great help. In my case I think that sometimes the simple lack of practice when it comes to starting a conversation, coupled with the fact that my interactions with other people are always in a foreign language (in this case in German) in most cases It always leaves me with the feeling that the conversation could have been carried out in a better way (on my part). I'll keep an eye out for more of this content from you.
I don't know if you've considered this, but if you're doing further videos relating to the etiquette of interaction, it would be great to hear your thoughts on how to respond when another person violates etiquette. Sometimes its on purpose and antagonistic and there are ways to de-escalate the situation. Other times its an accident, and there are things that we can to as friends to be charitable to help minimize the damage the other person may have done to themselves with their words/actions.
There's certain people at church, and mind you we only have about 20 regular attendees so they stick out, that never once have asked myself or my husband anything about ourselves, our lives, etc. This has been going on for the last 3 years we've been there as new members. They still know nothing about us beyond basic info. I always ask and listen about themselves. I'm so tired of the one sided attitude. They don't ask because they don't care
Awful :( I have “friends”, whom I’ve known for over 30 yrs - NEVER ask how anyone in my family are doing, let alone follow up on situations, check in, compliment, uplift… no reciprocating otherwise. It dawned on me like a ton of bricks and have distanced myself from them as a result I hope there has been an improvement with fellow congregants since this post Kindest regards to you
On the first time that I went to my husband and mine's new church, a woman in the restroom at the sink was trying to be friendly and complimented my dress. I have suffered from various eating disorders in my life so compliments on my appearance or what I'm wearing do not exactly sit well with me But I have learned to now recognize that generally, this is how women make conversation in our society.( I tend to avoid any situation where I would need to eat around women because generally they will bring up dieting. )
as someone who has gone through the same thing, i totally understand this. i find it difficult, too. fortunately, i don't find clothing comments bothersome anymore, but the diet and weight talk that just casually comes up.. it's so strange. however, the Lord has worked through me and my experiences. because i have learned so many lessons during my recovery from anorexia, i can encourage and guide others to healthier perspectives on their bodies and food! in fact, i have already given encouragement to my friends and acquaintances! (you do not always need to reveal your own experiences, but if you are comfortable with it, then absolutely!) the appearance-consumed culture we live in is in need of examples of godly women who do not give more attention to their looks than there ought to be, but rather receive food with grateful hearts and are absorbed with the great, praiseworthy, everlasting grace of God. ❤ i look forward to the day when the Lord returns, renewing our bodies and healing our minds. i pray that the Lord will be with you and that you would care for your body as the temple of the Holy Spirit. God bless!
Yeah people in North America usually never apologize when they have to and apologize when they don't need to. EDIT: On Americans bragging, I don't think that's an America only thing. I think it's a tourist trying to flex. It's not An American thing, it's a foreigner thing.
Your comment about people constantly apologizing for small things would actually not fit in well with people of Eastern background, unless they have assimilated well into western society. Though it is not the case with my family and I, most of the relatives that I visit would apologize for even the most minor of things to the point that it simply becomes theatrics instead of intentional acts of apology. The level of indirectness in all sorts of communication is just too great that intentions almost be damned, and what's worse is that this indirectness actually encourages even more gossip because people just don't say out loud what they're thinking. I guess that's just the way it is in Eastern culture.🤷♂
I think it possibly also depends on the sincerity in which it is offered. Your vocal inflection and facial expression / body language is going to convey the depth of one's apology as well as is the behavior going forward. bumping into each other in the kitchen mate only warrant a quick oh I'm sorry excuse me, whereas a real instance of neglect or forgetfulness might warrant a lot more contrition exhibited in nonverbals and an effort to make things right I actually doing something to make up for what you have done.
It's like Elon Musk says, the smartphone is really a cybernetic tool that increases our capacity exponentially. But being a cybernetic extension of ourselves, the feedback goes both ways. We need to make sure that the core human being is the dominant party in this situation, otherwise the phone acts more like a brain slug and turns you into a zombie.
Something I've always found very helpful is to have some basic knowledge relating to the event/gathering you're attending. For example, if you're attending an art show, spend 30 minutes learning about the artist and perhaps what inspired this certain sculpture or that certain painting. This actually gives you something to talk about to others rather than just asking a lot of questions to find out about someone.
Dr. Cooper, thank you for making these. I have autism and, in turn, struggle with social situations--your videos on etiquette are quite helpful in this regard. If you are willing to, please make more of them!
Thank you for your comment, Gregory. My son is a young adult man with autism and he really struggles with appropriate conversation etiquette and I'm searching for videos that might help him. Are there any other videos that you can suggest? If not, it's okay. Have a great day! ❤
14:09 regarding interrupting, it's also important to be aware of health issues that may be affecting someone's cognition in ways they may not even be aware of. Autoimmune neurological issues, or ADD/ADHD or other brain disorders may make it difficult for someone to not interrupt when they think of something because they're afraid they may forget it by the time you get done talking. they may also just have a hard time following a conversation in general. There can be some give-and-take here in that someone with cognitive issues could ask for help remembering what they were going to ask when you're done talking. Or the person who notices the other felt they needed to say something could take the initiative to help them create a sort of mental "bookmark" that they could both tried to return to. It seems awkward but it is part of making room for people's weaknesses. Since i have developed chronic pain issues / chronic migraines I have found that sentiment times I cannot even finish my own sentences without forgetting what I was going to say. If I think of something that is important and needs to be done or said, sometimes I have to get it out before I lose track of my train of thought again. To people struggling with brain fog, this is a constant source of stress and frustration and many times a feeling of helplessness, and we know it also frustrates those with whom we want to be able to carry on a conversation.
A very interesting series. The truth is that it is a topic that I have been confronted with lately and these tips are undoubtedly of great help.
In my case I think that sometimes the simple lack of practice when it comes to starting a conversation, coupled with the fact that my interactions with other people are always in a foreign language (in this case in German) in most cases It always leaves me with the feeling that the conversation could have been carried out in a better way (on my part).
I'll keep an eye out for more of this content from you.
I don't know if you've considered this, but if you're doing further videos relating to the etiquette of interaction, it would be great to hear your thoughts on how to respond when another person violates etiquette. Sometimes its on purpose and antagonistic and there are ways to de-escalate the situation. Other times its an accident, and there are things that we can to as friends to be charitable to help minimize the damage the other person may have done to themselves with their words/actions.
yes I have the same request!!
Interesting series.
I'm trying to get to know people as I just moved
This series was great. Do you have more planned?
Yes, I will be getting back to these.
Solid advice.
There's certain people at church, and mind you we only have about 20 regular attendees so they stick out, that never once have asked myself or my husband anything about ourselves, our lives, etc. This has been going on for the last 3 years we've been there as new members. They still know nothing about us beyond basic info. I always ask and listen about themselves. I'm so tired of the one sided attitude. They don't ask because they don't care
That is very frustrating.
Awful :(
I have “friends”, whom I’ve known for over 30 yrs - NEVER ask how anyone in my family are doing, let alone follow up on situations, check in, compliment, uplift… no reciprocating otherwise.
It dawned on me like a ton of bricks and have distanced myself from them as a result
I hope there has been an improvement with fellow congregants since this post
Kindest regards to you
On the first time that I went to my husband and mine's new church, a woman in the restroom at the sink was trying to be friendly and complimented my dress. I have suffered from various eating disorders in my life so compliments on my appearance or what I'm wearing do not exactly sit well with me But I have learned to now recognize that generally, this is how women make conversation in our society.( I tend to avoid any situation where I would need to eat around women because generally they will bring up dieting. )
as someone who has gone through the same thing, i totally understand this. i find it difficult, too. fortunately, i don't find clothing comments bothersome anymore, but the diet and weight talk that just casually comes up.. it's so strange. however, the Lord has worked through me and my experiences. because i have learned so many lessons during my recovery from anorexia, i can encourage and guide others to healthier perspectives on their bodies and food! in fact, i have already given encouragement to my friends and acquaintances! (you do not always need to reveal your own experiences, but if you are comfortable with it, then absolutely!)
the appearance-consumed culture we live in is in need of examples of godly women who do not give more attention to their looks than there ought to be, but rather receive food with grateful hearts and are absorbed with the great, praiseworthy, everlasting grace of God. ❤
i look forward to the day when the Lord returns, renewing our bodies and healing our minds. i pray that the Lord will be with you and that you would care for your body as the temple of the Holy Spirit.
God bless!
@@addisonbreton-df2fcamen
Yeah people in North America usually never apologize when they have to and apologize when they don't need to. EDIT: On Americans bragging, I don't think that's an America only thing. I think it's a tourist trying to flex. It's not An American thing, it's a foreigner thing.
Can we use profanity while communicating?
Love u ❤
Your comment about people constantly apologizing for small things would actually not fit in well with people of Eastern background, unless they have assimilated well into western society. Though it is not the case with my family and I, most of the relatives that I visit would apologize for even the most minor of things to the point that it simply becomes theatrics instead of intentional acts of apology.
The level of indirectness in all sorts of communication is just too great that intentions almost be damned, and what's worse is that this indirectness actually encourages even more gossip because people just don't say out loud what they're thinking. I guess that's just the way it is in Eastern culture.🤷♂
I think it possibly also depends on the sincerity in which it is offered. Your vocal inflection and facial expression / body language is going to convey the depth of one's apology as well as is the behavior going forward. bumping into each other in the kitchen mate only warrant a quick oh I'm sorry excuse me, whereas a real instance of neglect or forgetfulness might warrant a lot more contrition exhibited in nonverbals and an effort to make things right I actually doing something to make up for what you have done.
It's like Elon Musk says, the smartphone is really a cybernetic tool that increases our capacity exponentially. But being a cybernetic extension of ourselves, the feedback goes both ways. We need to make sure that the core human being is the dominant party in this situation, otherwise the phone acts more like a brain slug and turns you into a zombie.
I love you
GG 🎉
❤️😊❤️
❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤