Portal Cake Recipe

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  • Опубліковано 16 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,4 тис.

  • @joshd8930
    @joshd8930 3 роки тому +2192

    I love that the cake is actually pretty normal and then she starts going off about garnishes that get increasingly insane and sadistic, and this whole time she's just casually spinning around.

    • @elnico5623
      @elnico5623 2 роки тому +9

      Shaped like fish

    • @nukeninmgt1504
      @nukeninmgt1504 2 роки тому +127

      Sediment shaped sediment

    • @Redaft
      @Redaft 2 роки тому +30

      wow, you mean you watched video?

    • @bartybum
      @bartybum 2 роки тому +16

      She? Isn’t this meant to be Wheatley?

    • @nukeninmgt1504
      @nukeninmgt1504 2 роки тому +88

      @@bartybum
      That's one of the personality cores attached to Glados.

  • @DeeManDrawsIsTheBest
    @DeeManDrawsIsTheBest 10 років тому +3673

    I tried baking this cake, and let me tell you, I wouldn't recommend it to anybody.
    Tasted like fish. I think it was the rhubarb.

  • @clubkiddxx
    @clubkiddxx 8 років тому +2704

    "And sediment shaped sediment"

    • @admincloud8339
      @admincloud8339 6 років тому +71

      cross borehole electromagnetic imaging rhubarb

    • @halopro8958
      @halopro8958 6 років тому +32

      12 medium geo-synthetic membranes

    • @homuraakemi103
      @homuraakemi103 5 років тому +24

      ...Why do I get the feeling I don’t want the cake...?

    • @toast.1312
      @toast.1312 5 років тому +46

      *FISH SHAPED DIRT*

    • @Dragonborn-dc4uj
      @Dragonborn-dc4uj 5 років тому +6

      FUHCHK shaped like fish

  • @jefftheskeleton110
    @jefftheskeleton110 7 років тому +893

    At first it seems normal, then it gets weird, and THEN it goes insane

    • @MrMoon-hy6pn
      @MrMoon-hy6pn 3 роки тому +44

      Adjustsble aluminium head positioner, Slaughter electric needle injector, Cordless needle injector, needle injector driver, needle injector gun, cranium caps.
      Seems perfectly normal to me

    • @vinfinityremakerguy
      @vinfinityremakerguy 3 роки тому +26

      An *entry* called *How to kill someone with your bare hands.* Seems like this is normal too.

  • @disgal6235
    @disgal6235 4 роки тому +375

    The way it just spins makes it so much funnier and i dont know why

    • @pixelcat29
      @pixelcat29 2 роки тому +27

      I find it really cute

    • @Star.6739
      @Star.6739 Рік тому +9

      I like to think like he ate a weird cake and now all he can think is cake if you catch my drift

    • @jovankabroz6858
      @jovankabroz6858 Рік тому +9

      around the world around the world
      around the world around the world
      around the world around the world
      around the world around the world
      around the world around the world
      around the world around the world

    • @DeltaDoesGarbaj
      @DeltaDoesGarbaj 11 місяців тому +3

      ​@@Star.6739he's drunk

    • @palecaptainwolfkayls8499
      @palecaptainwolfkayls8499 Місяць тому +1

      This thing has one thought in its head, and that is not gyro stability.

  • @Fighter_Builder
    @Fighter_Builder 10 років тому +974

    *Writes down the recipe* Okay, so how do I actually cook the thing?
    Cake Core: ................
    Me: ..............................

    • @DealsFS
      @DealsFS 6 років тому +86

      Fighter_Builder with an aperture science intelligence incinerator

    • @whenthemewhen2755
      @whenthemewhen2755 6 років тому +5

      @your least favorite youtuber LOL

    • @Solais1019
      @Solais1019 4 роки тому +9

      This is where the real testing begins

    • @alex39921
      @alex39921 4 роки тому +14

      *recites recipe again*

    • @Reynard.GeorgeFox
      @Reynard.GeorgeFox 3 роки тому +3

      Wheatley

  • @marklund117
    @marklund117 8 років тому +872

    "One cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb."

  • @UnrealAngel
    @UnrealAngel 9 років тому +648

    The core forgot the fish-shaped rhubarb sediment needle injector resins.

    • @mightymouse4230
      @mightymouse4230 9 років тому +7

      Really are you serious. If I ever ate a cake with that many ingredients I would just drop dead. 😵😵😵😵😵😵

    • @UnrealAngel
      @UnrealAngel 9 років тому +20

      But hey, at least we know the cake isn't a lie.
      Its quality is.

    • @fizzytnt9456
      @fizzytnt9456 8 років тому +3

      1 cup fish-shaped rhubarb sediment needle injector resins.

    • @Deffekt
      @Deffekt 6 років тому +2

      IMPOSSIBLE XD

    • @LrdVnm
      @LrdVnm 4 роки тому +2

      I knew it tasted off.

  • @wheatley_1709
    @wheatley_1709 8 років тому +806

    "One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix."
    "One can prepared coconut pecan frosting."
    "Three slash four cup vegetable oil."
    "Four large eggs. One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips."
    "Three slash four cups butter or margarine."
    "One and two third cups granulated sugar."
    "Two cups all purpose flour."
    "Don't forget garnishes such as:"
    "Fish shaped crackers."
    "Fish shaped candies."
    "Fish shaped solid waste."
    "Fish shaped dirt."
    "Fish shaped ethyl benzene."
    "Pull and peel licorice."
    "Fish shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment shaped sediment."
    "Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish."
    "One cup lemon juice."
    "Alpha resins."
    "Unsaturated polyester resin."
    "Fiberglass surface resins."
    "And volatile malted milk impoundments."
    "Nine large egg yolks."
    "Twelve medium geosynthetic membranes."
    "One cup granulated sugar."
    "An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands'."
    "Two cups rhubarb, sliced."
    "Two slash three cups granulated rhubarb."
    "One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb."
    "One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb."
    "Three tablespoons rhubarb, on fire."
    "One large rhubarb."
    "One cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb."
    "Two tablespoons rhubarb juice."
    "Adjustable aluminum head positioner."
    "Slaughter electric needle injector."
    "Cordless electric needle injector."
    "Injector needle driver."
    "Injector needle gun."
    "Cranial caps."
    "And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals."
    "That will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.""One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix."
    "One can prepared coconut pecan frosting."
    "Three slash four cup vegetable oil."
    "Four large eggs. One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips."
    "Three slash four cups butter or margarine."
    "One and two third cups granulated sugar."
    "Two cups all purpose flour."
    "Don't forget garnishes such as:"
    "Fish shaped crackers."
    "Fish shaped candies."
    "Fish shaped solid waste."
    "Fish shaped dirt."
    "Fish shaped ethyl benzene."
    "Pull and peel licorice."
    "Fish shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment shaped sediment."
    "Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish."
    "One cup lemon juice."
    "Alpha resins."
    "Unsaturated polyester resin."
    "Fiberglass surface resins."
    "And volatile malted milk impoundments."
    "Nine large egg yolks."
    "Twelve medium geosynthetic membranes."
    "One cup granulated sugar."
    "An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands'."
    "Two cups rhubarb, sliced."
    "Two slash three cups granulated rhubarb."
    "One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb."
    "One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb."
    "Three tablespoons rhubarb, on fire."
    "One large rhubarb."
    "One cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb."
    "Two tablespoons rhubarb juice."
    "Adjustable aluminum head positioner."
    "Slaughter electric needle injector."
    "Cordless electric needle injector."
    "Injector needle driver."
    "Injector needle gun."
    "Cranial caps."
    "And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals."
    "That will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue."

    • @williamblough6415
      @williamblough6415 6 років тому +17

      That is the recipe for his cake

    • @zorpuz
      @zorpuz 5 років тому +13

      i cant believe i listened to this lol

    • @biigg22
      @biigg22 5 років тому +6

      *T H A N K Y O U*

    • @ProficientWarrior
      @ProficientWarrior 5 років тому +23

      At the end I thought it said "deep penetrations asians" I was like what the fuck??? XD

    • @XHAPPYAj
      @XHAPPYAj 5 років тому +4

      Good on you, why would you do that?

  • @theplayajam7654
    @theplayajam7654 7 років тому +1202

    The recipe seemed alright until he started mentioning fish shaped stuff and rhubarb. One thing he forgot.
    Fish Shaped Rhubarb.

    • @parrokeet9877
      @parrokeet9877 3 роки тому +15

      yes. he forgot that

    • @jaivinti7493
      @jaivinti7493 3 роки тому +27

      Fish shaped dirt
      Fish shaped fish

    • @monke7919
      @monke7919 3 роки тому +22

      @@jaivinti7493 dirt shaped rhubarb

    • @devanhinskey9001
      @devanhinskey9001 3 роки тому +14

      Fish-shaped rhubarb on fire. Shaped like fish.

    • @lamdao3375
      @lamdao3375 3 роки тому +4

      1:40 is crazy

  • @coffeetext
    @coffeetext 10 років тому +649

    Also, "an entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands'"? Sounds like something Saxton Hale would write.

    • @dankmoo
      @dankmoo 10 років тому +39

      He did.
      I'm reading it now.
      It is fantastic.

    • @nctamid604
      @nctamid604 9 років тому +7

      Invader GIR *steals and puts into a big pot full of ingredients for the cake*

    • @mommaholly
      @mommaholly 9 років тому

      +Invader GIR WATE A SECOND I KNOW YOU...INVADER ZIM THATS WHUT YOUR FROME😎

    • @whenthemewhen2755
      @whenthemewhen2755 6 років тому

      oh hey javascript, are you taking an cofee made with "RHUBARB"

    • @halopro8958
      @halopro8958 6 років тому +11

      Hello! Saxton Hale here with my new book, "How to kill someone with YOUR BARE HANDS!" Written by me, Saxton Hale! Buy it now, or I'll come to your house and give you a free demonstration!

  • @codaboi138
    @codaboi138 3 роки тому +847

    Fun fact: this dialogue is recycled from a very early scraped version of the glados boss fight where she would recite these lines. You can actually tell it's just a slowed down version of glados's voice when you listen to it with that context in mind.
    It would continue for a long time with an added "crazy vanilla cake" line, repeated a whole lot. That's what the achievement crazy vanilla cake is in reference too.

    • @Chorismos
      @Chorismos 2 роки тому +26

      How did I not notice that. Iet me fact check it. I'll edit this comment.
      Edit: It's true...

    • @ExtemTheHedgehogLol
      @ExtemTheHedgehogLol 2 роки тому +27

      It’s actually vanilla crazy cake not crazy vanilla cake

    • @whoisthisanywayhm
      @whoisthisanywayhm 2 роки тому +22

      I played portal project beta and can confirm this, I just which someone would post a video of that

    • @Adek4M
      @Adek4M 2 роки тому +5

      could you post a link with a video of that please? I'm so interested in it

    • @KirikkSiSq
      @KirikkSiSq 2 роки тому +6

      This dialogue is the only one which is better in Russian dub than in original. Russian dub of P1 is unfamous for being extremely bad, it's voiced by 1 person and it has neither glitches in test chamber nor voice changes during boss battle. Also, yesterday we were told to bring some posters to school. Today (April 1st) I sent this recipe to my class's WhatsApp chat, saying we also need this

  • @AKOSlost777
    @AKOSlost777 11 років тому +1001

    Ive followed the recipe and this looks nothing like a cake....
    It looks like a big colorful fish....

    • @halopro8958
      @halopro8958 6 років тому +63

      With Rhubarb

    • @ViolentRainbow
      @ViolentRainbow 6 років тому +37

      And needles sticking out of it

    • @grandomrye3873
      @grandomrye3873 5 років тому +25

      And I think it knows how to kill someone with it’s bare hands.

    • @jacksonbandito
      @jacksonbandito 5 років тому +12

      And a 20 foot impermeable clay layer.

    • @dantehellsing8807
      @dantehellsing8807 5 років тому +7

      That's because the cake is a lie

  • @brainmaxxing1
    @brainmaxxing1 10 років тому +1923

    Now I feel like GLaDOS wasn't lying about the cake....
    I feel like this would make a really nice cake...
    ...to kill someone in one bite

    • @OHJ4Y
      @OHJ4Y 10 років тому +39

      The cake wasn't a lie

    • @UnrealAngel
      @UnrealAngel 9 років тому +43

      U_MAN_SPARTAN_15 __ The cake's quality is.

    • @OHJ4Y
      @OHJ4Y 9 років тому +16

      Gabriel Hujjat depends if you were trying to make a poison cake (Hey, that rhymed!)

    • @UnrealAngel
      @UnrealAngel 9 років тому +15

      U_MAN_SPARTAN_15 __ One thing's for sure, it'd taste like rhubarb and charcoal.

    • @titotheturtle5779
      @titotheturtle5779 5 років тому +5

      I think the cake had a bomb in there ._.

  • @msfritz9158
    @msfritz9158 7 років тому +108

    "...and candy covered peanut butter pieces.
    Shaped like fish."

  • @Korstre
    @Korstre 11 років тому +210

    The characters of Portal always spoke in such technical manners.

    • @DeeManDrawsIsTheBest
      @DeeManDrawsIsTheBest 10 років тому +25

      Well they are robots... That's what robots do, yo! I should know, some of my best friends are robots.

    • @halopro8958
      @halopro8958 6 років тому +3

      12 MEDIUM GEOSYNTHETIC MEMBRANES

    • @ExtemTheHedgehogLol
      @ExtemTheHedgehogLol 2 роки тому +8

      In the first portal game they tried their hardest to make all the robots sound like text to speech voices. It really paid off and contributed to the overall feeling of the game

    • @ExtemTheHedgehogLol
      @ExtemTheHedgehogLol 2 роки тому

      Oh holy crap this was 8 years ago 0-0

    • @InventorZahran
      @InventorZahran 2 роки тому +1

      @@halopro8958 Shaped like fish.

  • @mhum02
    @mhum02 8 років тому +335

    Favorite things:
    1. Rhubarb
    2. Fish-Shaped Items
    3. Needle Injector
    4. Rhubarb Fish-Shaped Items
    5. Fish-Shaped Needle Injectors
    6. Sediment Shaped Sediment
    7. Cake Mix
    8. Rhubarb
    9. Fish-Shaped Cake Mix
    10. Rhubarb

    • @nickvas7034
      @nickvas7034 7 років тому +14

      All Purpose Rhubarb

    • @halopro8958
      @halopro8958 6 років тому +3

      One cross borehole electromagnetic imaging rhubarb
      Adjustable aluminum head positioner
      Slaughter electric needle injector
      Cordless electric needle injector
      Injector needle driver
      Injector needle gun
      Cranial caps
      And it contains proven preservatives and gas and oder control chemicals, that will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue

    • @whenthemewhen2755
      @whenthemewhen2755 6 років тому +5

      rhubarb on fire

    • @MacTechG4
      @MacTechG4 4 роки тому +1

      You forgot the Geosynthetic Membranes...

    • @howardvonstauffer
      @howardvonstauffer 2 роки тому +2

      11. An entry of "How to kill someone with your bare hands"

  • @NoriMori1992
    @NoriMori1992 Рік тому +62

    For the curious, the normal part of this recipe is for German's chocolate cake, a layered chocolate cake filled and topped with a coconut-pecan frosting. It's named after a guy named Samuel German, who developed a type of dark baking chocolate for the Baker's Chocolate Company in 1852. Over a century later, in 1957, a recipe called "German's Chocolate Cake", which was created by a Dallas housewife and used Samuel German's baking chocolate, appeared as the "Recipe of the Day" in _The Dallas Morning News._ General Foods, which owned the Baker's brand, distributed the recipe to many other newspapers, and it became very popular.

    • @IndoorSitup
      @IndoorSitup Рік тому

      neat

    • @sivrios
      @sivrios Рік тому +8

      actually, you mean Aperture Science's Vanilla Crazy Cake?
      Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy cake. Vanilla crazy. Cake vanilla. Crazy cake vanilla.

    • @CoreDump451
      @CoreDump451 9 місяців тому +3

      When I first moved to Germany, I went to a bakery and asked for my favourite cake "German chocolate cake". The lady pointed at all the different types of chocolate cake she has in the bakery

  • @Huvada
    @Huvada 2 роки тому +31

    It was probably for the best that Chell was never given the cake.

  • @crabapple7704
    @crabapple7704 5 років тому +220

    Employee: “Hi, how can I help you?”
    Me: “Does his store happen to have a cross borehole electromagnetic imaging rhubarb?”
    Employee: ... what the f**k

    • @MrMoon-hy6pn
      @MrMoon-hy6pn 3 роки тому +14

      "got any needle injectors, cranium caps and adjustable head positioners? Well that's a shane"

    • @dreamfirefight9456
      @dreamfirefight9456 3 роки тому +1

      This is why you buy from the dark web. They got all that stuff on there.

    • @teddys5775
      @teddys5775 2 роки тому +4

      I read the employee's lines in Seth Rogen's voice lol

    • @InventorZahran
      @InventorZahran 2 роки тому +8

      "Hi, do you happen to have any fish-shaped rhubarb in stock?"

    • @TheToadFan95
      @TheToadFan95 2 роки тому +6

      "Hi, does this store have an entry called "How to Kill Someone with your Bare Hands"?"
      "Get the fuck out of my store or else I will call the cops"

  • @andysim232
    @andysim232 7 років тому +493

    Could not find half this stuff in Tesco...

    • @halopro8958
      @halopro8958 6 років тому +27

      Have you tried Walmart?

    • @ChloekabanOfficial
      @ChloekabanOfficial 5 років тому +11

      @@halopro8958 Well have you ATE Walmart?

    • @losspol_3466
      @losspol_3466 5 років тому +5

      Maybe Lidl

    • @SnowyFoxlinn
      @SnowyFoxlinn 5 років тому +3

      DO YOU NOT HAVE WALMART OR KING SOOPERS WHERE YOU LIVE!?

    • @losspol_3466
      @losspol_3466 5 років тому +1

      @@SnowyFoxlinn missing that walmart freedom

  • @Archipelagoat
    @Archipelagoat 11 років тому +155

    i think it need some more fish-shaped dirt

    • @APerson-ok7jv
      @APerson-ok7jv 10 років тому +1

      We also need fish shapped solid waste... :\

    • @urmommy5
      @urmommy5 9 років тому +7

      More Rhubarb on fire

    • @disc1142
      @disc1142 4 роки тому +1

      Did you add the rhubarb?

    • @sovietunion7643
      @sovietunion7643 Рік тому

      kid named sediment shaped sediment

    • @Archipelagoat
      @Archipelagoat Рік тому

      @@sovietunion7643 dude I made this comment when I was 11

  • @ArcJupiter
    @ArcJupiter 9 років тому +94

    Yumm, fish shaped Ethol Benzine solid waste with a hint of rhubarb on fire.

    • @extrapathos
      @extrapathos 4 роки тому +5

      Exquisite 👌

    • @rainbowrose8802
      @rainbowrose8802 3 роки тому +2

      Yes, very commonly desired things

    • @jtk9168
      @jtk9168 3 роки тому

      SOMEBODY UNLIKE THIS RIGHT NOW.

  • @NintendoSMASH
    @NintendoSMASH 9 років тому +85

    This guy enjoys Rhubarb...

  • @hilariocitii
    @hilariocitii 4 роки тому +43

    I like how all the animations of the cores are accurate and then there is Cake Core just vibing.

  • @freya9499
    @freya9499 9 років тому +152

    I actually made this cake, tasted like rhubarb and fish mostly, i gonna die soon

    • @YisraelHhagever
      @YisraelHhagever 9 років тому

      +Casey Prumbach lol

    • @daphneedwards484
      @daphneedwards484 7 років тому +8

      how did you get sediment shaped sediment and needles tho

    • @raikkappa23
      @raikkappa23 7 років тому +4

      pharmacies and the ground

    • @ChloekabanOfficial
      @ChloekabanOfficial 5 років тому +1

      **eats the cake**
      *_[tastez liek fish shaped everithin with rhubarbz in piez, orange flavored]_*

    • @BrowncoatFairy
      @BrowncoatFairy 2 роки тому +1

      why would it taste like fish? there's no fish in the recipe.

  • @firesd7306
    @firesd7306 4 роки тому +22

    Everyone just remember that GlaDos probably heard this cake recipe 24/7

    • @FriskMeemur
      @FriskMeemur 6 місяців тому

      Probably thought "how many ingredients does this cake have?!"

  • @mcteen5198
    @mcteen5198 8 років тому +194

    Well that was the oddest cake recipe I've ever heard. :|

    • @aliensguy3840
      @aliensguy3840 8 років тому +10

      MC TEEN if you used all the ingredients listed it would be the shittiest cake in the history of the world

    • @mhum02
      @mhum02 8 років тому +15

      MC TEEN, you don't understand. RHUBARB.

    • @MrIamtheone2
      @MrIamtheone2 7 років тому +8

      not to mention you'd probably drop dead on the first bite lol

    • @st2mpz561
      @st2mpz561 6 років тому +1

      I made cake like this

    • @genericuser7924
      @genericuser7924 6 років тому +3

      I know right? Such a weird recipe! They never put enough rhubarb!

  • @cloroxbleachchocolate_synchron
    @cloroxbleachchocolate_synchron 5 років тому +56

    This sounds like a recipe of a HowToBasic video

  • @justalilcoffeecat
    @justalilcoffeecat Рік тому +18

    The way Glados says "rhubarb" has lived in my head rent free for the better part of 15 years

  • @Mario78718
    @Mario78718 12 років тому +21

    "An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands'"
    I will bet you ANYTHING that Saxton Hale wrote that.

  • @jasperheinrichs2776
    @jasperheinrichs2776 9 років тому +88

    Life goals: Learn how to talk like that.

    • @HauntFreak13
      @HauntFreak13 9 років тому +6

      Jasper Heinrichs I've got Wheatley down... now, GLaDOS.

    • @nctamid604
      @nctamid604 9 років тому +2

      ThatHauntFreak2 i've got turrets and glados

    • @mommaholly
      @mommaholly 9 років тому

      YA I WANT TO TALK LIKE HIM (not sarcasm)...IM THE SON OF THIS PROFIAL

    • @avanelletheclockfriend2515
      @avanelletheclockfriend2515 9 років тому

      "I'm different." Turret #?????

    • @halopro8958
      @halopro8958 6 років тому

      Intelligence Core
      Worked for me, thanks!

  • @RichardDong68
    @RichardDong68 5 років тому +57

    0:00-0:24 sounds all right. Everything else is probably optional.

    • @VagueNaming
      @VagueNaming 3 роки тому +6

      No, it’s all mandatory…

    • @Emeraldakafunnygamerguy
      @Emeraldakafunnygamerguy 2 роки тому +2

      @@VagueNaming Manndatory, you could say?

    • @v553
      @v553 2 роки тому +3

      Fish shaped crackers and candies are ok

    • @jacobkern2060
      @jacobkern2060 Рік тому +1

      Well they are all garnishes, so don't forget them

  • @LucarioMario
    @LucarioMario 9 років тому +42

    Taking out the random stuff makes a really good cake

    • @arielsproul8811
      @arielsproul8811 3 роки тому +3

      what is "random stuff"
      is it everything that shouldn't be in a cake at all?

    • @mykalkelley8315
      @mykalkelley8315 3 роки тому +1

      Yes, ofc

    • @BrowncoatFairy
      @BrowncoatFairy 2 роки тому +3

      ok dude, you go ahead and a make a cake with 4 eggs plus nine large egg yolks.

    • @ashsiegel381
      @ashsiegel381 Рік тому +1

      @@BrowncoatFairy the 9 egg yolks are garnishes btw

  • @kindjustanormalgalt4623
    @kindjustanormalgalt4623 5 років тому +31

    even though this recipe can kill you, can’t we just agree this is the cutest and best core?

    • @oatmeal3013
      @oatmeal3013 10 місяців тому +3

      what about curiosity core? that one's adorable

    • @archimetropolis
      @archimetropolis 3 місяці тому +1

      Curiosity core can get insufferable because it loops goes through its lines much quicker

  • @chaosriders79
    @chaosriders79 10 років тому +40

    Uhhhh... I'll pass on the cake

  • @HyperGolem
    @HyperGolem 12 років тому +19

    The cake/intelligence core got incinerated during the GLaDOS fight along with other personality cores. Wheatley (a.k.a. intelligence dampening sphere) was one of the many cores that awoke after the events of Portal 1 to maintain the facility due to GLaDOS being shut down.

  • @yos-alt
    @yos-alt 4 роки тому +8

    This core is *GENIUS*
    Now I got a chocolate deadly cake

    • @sivrios
      @sivrios Рік тому

      you mean a "vanilla crazy cake" right?

  • @slugcat-girl1661
    @slugcat-girl1661 7 років тому +7

    AWWW, there's no fished shaped solid waste at the grocery store, man I really wanted to make that cake

    • @Aristotle210
      @Aristotle210 7 років тому +1

      look in the restrooms, maybe someone ate fish

    • @halopro8958
      @halopro8958 6 років тому +1

      Fish shaped rhubarb resins work as a substitute.

  • @Paumarchgarcía
    @Paumarchgarcía Рік тому +3

    Impressive how aperture actually transfered how to basic's conscience into a core.

  • @PokemonArceus0304
    @PokemonArceus0304 11 років тому +32

    sediment shaped like sediment

  • @Pancakes4Tohka
    @Pancakes4Tohka 4 роки тому +14

    “ An entry called, _How to Kill Someone with your Bare Hands_ “

  • @borkedluck
    @borkedluck 5 років тому +15

    I like how Logic Core's middle part is just constantly spinning

  • @Armuks
    @Armuks Рік тому +5

    I just woke up from the coma after making this cake and eating it...
    ...luckily it keeps pretty well, so might as well have another piece.
    See you in another 13 years!

  • @agentburningbutters3655
    @agentburningbutters3655 3 роки тому +3

    Probebly wheatly after he lost all his fundamental knowledge in space hearing space core saying space for 9 years straight

  • @wowpoopstaylorsversion3267
    @wowpoopstaylorsversion3267 Рік тому +4

    Google Translated version:
    Transfer the brownie mixture to an 18.25 oz
    "Period," he said.
    "Three leaves and four cups of olive oil."
    "What a big egg." Delicious chocolate.
    - Three to four cups of butter or margarine
    - One, two, three cups of sugar
    “A flower has two cups.
    “For example, don't forget the jewelry.
    "Fishing Club".
    "Food of Light".
    "Grassfish".
    Like Tabata
    "Ethylbenzene has a fishy smell," he said.
    Remove the leaves and drain.
    A common factor is the size of the fish.
    "He's an athlete in the sun." Different types of fish.
    "Lemon market".
    "Alpha Line" is the name of the game.
    "Asymmetric Polyester Resin".
    "Carton" is the name.
    "Cow's milk and cow's milk products."
    "Nine Magical Fruits."
    "Twelve Chinese Geomembranes".
    "sugar in the cup"
    He said he would kill them all with his bare hands.
    - 2 cups of bread, cut into slices
    "Two and three glasses of pasta."
    "from below".
    "Wachman and the Orange Bear."
    "Three spoons, put them on fire."
    "Finding Raghu"
    "Connect the dots."
    Two tablespoons of garlic juice.
    msgstr "The best set of mignon files."
    "Electrical Theory".
    "Electric Water".
    “It's an aerosol.
    "Point the needle."
    "MU High School".
    It has proven healing properties, very rich, relaxing and aromatic.
    "Go away, because you smell like a corpse."

  • @alybe1801
    @alybe1801 3 роки тому +19

    I don't know why, but him spinning like that and saying that recipe in the laziest and most monotone tone I've ever heard just makes me laugh too much

    • @hiveemperor54
      @hiveemperor54 Рік тому

      Apparently the Cake/Intelligence Core just has slowed down GLaDOS voice lines that were scrapped

  • @eeveemaster2206
    @eeveemaster2206 3 роки тому +3

    "One cup lemon juice"
    *Cave Johnson flashbacks*

  • @YZYE
    @YZYE 3 роки тому +5

    This core starts talking about how to preserve humans which is really, really creepy, that’s what the needle injector is I’m pretty sure.

  • @bluebirbjayy
    @bluebirbjayy 2 роки тому +3

    i can see why the core became so interested in this "recipe"

    • @InventorZahran
      @InventorZahran 2 роки тому +2

      It seems to have gotten confused and mixed up the recipe with a shopping list of body-preservation equipment.

  • @miiirky1904
    @miiirky1904 5 років тому +10

    I always found this particular core very cute with his sweet little voice

    • @NIceGAl-sr5fj
      @NIceGAl-sr5fj 2 роки тому +3

      wait until u realise the last ingredients are used to preserve dead bodies

    • @miiirky1904
      @miiirky1904 2 роки тому +2

      @@NIceGAl-sr5fj hahahaha it's still cute tho, with its monotone voice. And funny

    • @pixelcat29
      @pixelcat29 2 роки тому

      Don’t forget how it spins because thats also cute

  • @ZirconiumPantsTeardown
    @ZirconiumPantsTeardown 2 роки тому +3

    “2 tablespoons rubharb on fire”

  • @davooo7
    @davooo7 7 років тому +25

    now the cake is a truth :D

  • @vickiesimpson2264
    @vickiesimpson2264 4 роки тому +2

    Glados hears this every day

  • @Generalmacka
    @Generalmacka 2 роки тому +5

    Fun fact: this is the exact recipient for the cake at the end of the game

  • @SnaeK__
    @SnaeK__ 3 роки тому +2

    Hedcrab would like that *PRETTY GOOD CAKE*

  • @quantumblauthor7300
    @quantumblauthor7300 3 роки тому +2

    By the end it really is just describing the process of preserving a corpse, huh

  • @Featherssketch
    @Featherssketch 9 років тому +5

    I love the way he says "rhubarb"
    "rhu _barb_"

  • @tastycake413
    @tastycake413 3 роки тому +4

    This core is so cute-looking, and the voice adds to it

  • @kidyomu89
    @kidyomu89 6 років тому +4

    It tasted like rhubarb, dirt, and blood. I don't remember putting so much blood in this cake.

  • @RunonTales
    @RunonTales 5 років тому +5

    So my mom went to make this cake for me for my birthday and was... intrigued once she read this recipe.

  • @LilNGaming-g9x
    @LilNGaming-g9x Рік тому +6

    Baby Wheatley making cake

  • @transbiologistthetransesto7956
    @transbiologistthetransesto7956 4 роки тому +30

    Man, other than the pecan frosting, this sounds pretty good. Plus, 9 eggs is a tad much. Closer to 4 or 5 eggs is much better, as too many or two few will mess up the taste, texture and structure.
    Can't wait to try it!

    • @tylermcewan2965
      @tylermcewan2965 2 роки тому

      ​@FizzleDrunk Well, its been 2 years so I'd say he probably didn't

    • @AlinaYourLocalUkrainian
      @AlinaYourLocalUkrainian Рік тому

      @FizzleDrunk what about the ingredients for preserving a dead body?

    • @thesaintnoodle
      @thesaintnoodle Рік тому

      no the 9 egg yolks aren't for making the cake... those are the garnish

  • @LordofDiamondsMetal
    @LordofDiamondsMetal 4 роки тому +4

    I snorted so hard when it said “pull and peel licorice”. Don’t know why.

  • @nanoatemysword
    @nanoatemysword Рік тому +2

    i actually thought at first this was normal cake

  • @ballisticblocker9163
    @ballisticblocker9163 3 роки тому +4

    Summed up recipe:
    •fish
    •dirt
    •book
    •tools

    • @F1areon
      @F1areon 7 місяців тому +1

      you forgot the rhubarb

  • @shodown17
    @shodown17 3 роки тому +2

    its all fun and games until it starts telling you how to make a human clone

  • @bliksemtroy
    @bliksemtroy Рік тому +6

    1 (18.25-ounce) package chocolate cake mix
    1 can prepared coconut-pecan frosting
    3/4 cup vegetable oil
    4 large eggs
    1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
    3/4 cup butter or margarine
    1 2/3 cup granulated sugar
    2 cups all-purpose flour
    Fish-shaped crackers
    Fish-shaped candies
    Fish-shaped solid waste
    Fish-shaped dirt
    Fish-shaped ethylbenzene
    Pull-and-peel licorice
    Fish-shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment-shaped sediment
    Candy-coated peanut butter pieces (shaped like fish)
    1 cup lemon juice
    Alpha resins
    Unsaturated polyester resin
    Fiberglass surface resins and volatile malted milk impoundments
    9 large egg yolks
    12 medium geosynthetic membranes
    1 cup granulated sugar
    An entry called: "How to Kill Someone with Your Bare Hands"
    2 cups rhubarb, sliced
    2/3 cups granulated rhubarb
    1 tbsp. all-purpose rhubarb
    1 tsp. grated orange rhubarb
    3 tbsp. rhubarb, on fire
    1 large rhubarb
    1 cross borehole electromagnetic imaging rhubarb
    2 tbsp. rhubarb juice
    Adjustable aluminum head positioner
    Slaughter electric needle injector
    Cordless electric needle injector
    Injector needle driver
    Injector needle gun
    Cranial caps

  • @1ᾧ1
    @1ᾧ1 3 роки тому +1

    Fun fact: the head positioner and the rest past that point is how to preserve a dead human body...

  • @jakethomas6123
    @jakethomas6123 9 місяців тому +3

    The quoted garnishes aren’t actually a part of the recipe. Key words: “such as”.

  • @owdub7011
    @owdub7011 Рік тому +2

    Instructions unclear: I don't know what tempurature to bake it at

  • @Jaceblue04
    @Jaceblue04 2 роки тому +3

    "Sediment-shaped sediment."
    Why do I suddenly not want the cake?

  • @twistedaxles9126
    @twistedaxles9126 3 роки тому +2

    That tiny little pause before the "shaped like fish" made me laugh for some reason

  • @pepijn23
    @pepijn23 3 роки тому +5

    Some off the ingredients are actually used to preserve a human body in the morgue before a funeral or cremation.

  • @somerandomperson6511
    @somerandomperson6511 2 роки тому +2

    Howtobasic has competition

  • @RoProReal
    @RoProReal Рік тому +3

    1 (18.25-ounce) package chocolate cake mix
    1 can prepared coconut-pecan frosting
    3/4 cup vegetable oil
    4 large eggs
    1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
    3/4 cup butter or margarine
    1 2/3 cup granulated sugar
    2 cups all-purpose flour
    Don't forget garnishes such as:
    Fish-shaped crackers
    Fish-shaped candies
    Fish-shaped solid waste
    Fish-shaped dirt
    Fish-shaped ethylbenzene
    Pull-and-peel licorice
    Fish-shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment-shaped sediment
    Candy-coated peanut butter pieces (shaped like fish)
    1 cup lemon juice
    Alpha resins
    Unsaturated polyester resin
    Fiberglass surface resins and volatile malted milk impoundments
    9 large egg yolks
    12 medium geosynthetic membranes
    1 cup granulated sugar
    An entry called: "How to Kill Someone with Your Bare Hands"
    2 cups rhubarb, sliced
    2/3 cups granulated rhubarb
    1 tbsp. all-purpose rhubarb
    1 tsp. grated orange rhubarb
    3 tbsp. rhubarb, on fire
    1 large rhubarb
    1 cross borehole electromagnetic imaging rhubarb
    2 tbsp. rhubarb juice
    Adjustable aluminum head positioner
    Slaughter electric needle injector
    Cordless electric needle injector
    Injector needle driver
    Injector needle gun
    Cranial caps
    And it contains proven preservatives, deep-penetration agents, and gas- and odor-control chemicals that will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.

    • @sheepdog1901
      @sheepdog1901 Рік тому +1

      amazing

    • @TheBreakingBenny
      @TheBreakingBenny Рік тому +2

      "As well as areas of the body that arterial embalment may have missed... and rhubarb."

    • @sivrios
      @sivrios Рік тому

      ok

  • @spicylizards4714
    @spicylizards4714 3 роки тому +2

    I used to think the core would actually say a legit cake recipe. This was before I found this video.

  • @Toon_Lucario
    @Toon_Lucario 4 роки тому +4

    Instructions unclear, I ended up building a gundam somehow

  • @zakronthesheep
    @zakronthesheep 8 місяців тому +2

    The "entry" one implies to me that it was an array or data list of some kind that got corrupted and started partially repeating, hence the fish and rhubarbs. It also mentions cranial caps and head positioners, which seem like the kind of thing you'd use to upload a person to an AI, so could be hinting towards glados's backstory

  • @bipo1040
    @bipo1040 8 років тому +9

    "DEEP PENETRATION" is my favorite cake ingredient 01:56

  • @Crimcomet
    @Crimcomet 8 місяців тому +2

    When in doubt, add more rhubarb

  • @GOOFYCAT182
    @GOOFYCAT182 Рік тому +3

    He sounds so chill I love it 😂

  • @SnaeK__
    @SnaeK__ 3 роки тому +2

    Mann, 11 years ago...

  • @hellengana5373
    @hellengana5373 10 років тому +6

    I think I need more fish shaped solid waste and orange rhubarb to make this. Period.

  • @Ice2441
    @Ice2441 13 років тому +2

    Candy Coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish.
    The fish part made me LOL.

  • @eduardosilva3255
    @eduardosilva3255 4 роки тому +5

    look's like it's also saying the materials to make a core

  • @SK-pw9id
    @SK-pw9id 4 роки тому +2

    i tried the cake and let me say that the fish shaped polymer resin and fish shaped ethyl-benzine made this recipe, the fact that i get severe internal hemorrhaging is a nice added bonus to this delicious cake. 9.75/10, would give it 10/10 but those hospital bills

  • @borgog5255
    @borgog5255 7 років тому +8

    DAMN IT I ONLY HAVE SWEET CHOCLATE CHIP COOKIES

  • @notificationguy564
    @notificationguy564 8 років тому +2

    This core is crazier than space core.

  • @TheMilitantHorse
    @TheMilitantHorse 3 роки тому +3

    _sets down massive cake filled with fish-shaped items_
    Friend: "Why does this taste like rhubarb?"
    _punches his head in with a needle gun_

  • @DoctorCal
    @DoctorCal 13 років тому +2

    Here's the way I heard it all: I ran out of time while dashing toward the incinerator carrying the blue core, and stopped to take the dog for a walk. I didn't press any key after getting my limit of deadly neurotoxin, and as I came back into the apartment, up the stairs, into my room, I couldn't help but hear enough of the recipe to realize it's going on for so long. I must have listened to it six times through before I went out looking for a video like this one. Hilarious stuff.

  • @machrazerarchive.ditchedch6040
    @machrazerarchive.ditchedch6040 4 роки тому +3

    Fun Fact! the core's voice is actually GLaDOS' but slowed down by like 20 percent.

  • @commanderAnakin
    @commanderAnakin 2 роки тому +2

    I love this little guy.

  • @hztb9918
    @hztb9918 9 років тому +15

    13 people don't like Rhubarb, Sediment, Fish and injector needle guns.

    • @ardensolari1927
      @ardensolari1927 5 років тому

      HZTB there’s eight more people that don’t like those, either. XD

  • @batfacesirbatsalot1999
    @batfacesirbatsalot1999 4 роки тому +1

    It's even funnier once you consider the circumstances in which this plays

  • @stevendamavandi3482
    @stevendamavandi3482 3 роки тому +3

    Me: *searches for cake recipe*
    Bing: *normal cake recipe*
    Google:

  • @Glocktopus1
    @Glocktopus1 2 роки тому +1

    The last few lines is about preserving a corpse but no one in the comments seem to acknowledge that

  • @pm41224
    @pm41224 9 років тому +5

    The cake is still a lie after all these years.

  • @janaki3829
    @janaki3829 Рік тому +1

    "You will be baked, and then there will be cake"

  • @bionic-tale4313
    @bionic-tale4313 2 роки тому +3

    I want to see an interaction between the Fact Core and the Intelligence core. It would be very interesting to see Fact argue with the *Cake-obsessed* Core, and would often mock or complement the cake recipe. The Intelligence Core wouldn't interact much to Fact's gibberish, however he would probably correct some of his incorrect information.