I had an existential crisis.
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- Опубліковано 30 лип 2024
- This was a very personal and vulnerable thing to share, but I hope that by doing so it can encourage some people and maybe spark some good conversations. This channel is all about community, the journey, and the growth that happens therein. While it's scary to share this video, it's also exciting to be able to share this area of growth that has been so big in my life for the past of couple of years.
I'm excited for whatever conversations may happen, but I do ask that all comments are respectful of me and others as I know religious/spiritual topics can be divisive. Generally speaking, I think most of us are going about this crazy, unique experience of life in the best way we know how - learning and improving along the way - and we deserve grace for our journeys.
- Darcie
We'd love to hear from you in the comments. You are also welcome to message us directly on Passionfroot's IG if you'd like a more private conversation. And, as always, don’t forget to give this video a like and subscribe for more! 🥳
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TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 a little introduction
01:28 My intentions for this video
03:29 Beginning the deconstruction timeline
07:29 The moment of crisis: Does God exist?
11:19 After the crisis
13:02 Seeking spiritual connection
17:09 Taking heaven off the table
19:18 Do I believe in God now?
21:28 I’m excited about this life phase
24:30 Hearing God’s voice
25:32 Exploring my spiritual journey through art
27:45 To wrap it all up…
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Music:
In Her Orbit - Ennio Mano
The Jazz Messenger - Vendla
La Fille Sans Larmes - Lo Mimieux
Visible Nostalgia - Mathilde Skonare Karlsson
Coltsfoot - Rikard From
Coniferous - Jobii
Taradiddle Paradiddle - Jobii
Onthou - Ever So Blue
Salt Lamp - Jobii
How Easy It Would Be (Instrumental Version) - Niklas Gabrielsson with Martin Landstrom & His Orchestra
#deconstruction #spiritualjourney #existentialcrisis #passionfroot
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Darcy, thank you for sharing!!!🎉
Glad you enjoyed!
Life is a series of journeys, and with each journey, we change, we grow. This is my first time here Thanks for sharing your intimate thoughts Darcy!
Thanks for stopping by!! Glad you got something out of the video :) -Darcie
@@PassionfrootCo Yes I did! 🙏
Venerable Fulton Sheen:
“He told them therefore that He was not a Teacher asking for a disciple who would parrot His sayings; He was a Saviour Who first disturbed a conscience and then purified it. But many would never get beyond hating the disturber. The Light is no boon, except to those who are men of good will; their lives may be evil, but at least they want to be good. His Presence, He said, was a threat to sensuality, avarice, and lust. When a man has lived in a dark cave for years, his eyes cannot stand the light of the sun; so the man who refuses to repent turns against mercy. No one can prevent the sun from shining, but every man can pull down the blinds and shut it out.”
This was such a needed conversation and so beautifully presented 🧡. Thank you Darcie for giving a lot of our own personal thoughts and questions a voice and safe space to be engaged with. I felt less alone after this video and feel encouraged to continue exploring spirituality for myself and in community.
You’re so kind Adjoa! Thank you for watching 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
I would love to hear about everyone else's journeys!
I’m seriously at a very similar point in my faith journey. I’ve really started to doubt the past few months after growing up in a Christian setting. Struggling to know how it’s possible that I was raised with the “right” beliefs and struggling to even know if God is real. Reckoning with the brokenness of the church, especially the Church in the US, has been very difficult. It’s really helpful to know that there are other people processing similar things. I love Mary Oliver, painting, and reading too! They have helped me feel closer to whatever it is out there even though I would also label myself as a Christian.
Thank you for sharing your story.
@@kylaroades2012 what you just voiced really echoes a lot of what’s been going through my head as well! Especially the whole “growing up with the ‘right’ beliefs” thing….I like to believe that if you genuinely seek God and/or truth, truth will meet you in your search. And you grow so much along the way too. I was fortunate enough to grow up with a really beautiful image of God/Love, and that’s what I would like to believe in. But I’m just continuing to take the time I need and do the exploration I need to do. And I wish YOU all the best in your own journey. Don’t lose heart! Being human is kind of all about “not knowing” and simultaneously getting to discover and learn as you go through life. It can be scary and exciting and fulfilling all at the same time!
Sooo I clicked on this video the second I saw it, I think because I have felt so alone in my journey. Everyone I've tried to talk to about it in my life just kind of brushes it off, although I really need to talk about the possibly most important aspect of every living thing. I don't know how to put my thoughts into words very well so bear with me. I grew up in a Christian household, going to church and having my religion made for me. I never felt very connected to Christianity or enjoyed participating in church, prayer, or anything of the sort, however, I was a super creative kid so I did love making art and being outside. Throughout middle and high school I also never thought deeply about religion but just said I was Christian because that's what I was told was the only right thing and the reality growing up. About a year or so ago I took a Geology class at college and spent many nights up late doing homework and studying the earth's formation and creation. I had been watching videos from different religious/spiritual perspectives and felt connected to more so one's belief in everything being energy and the connection we all have by being made of energy(it made more sense to me being a science lover than a powerful man-being deciding my fate). Staying up late to cram for tests about matter(observable universe material) and trying to figure out what I really am in comparison to all that surrounds me and everyone else. Trying to understand how all these atoms made of even smaller things came to form such specific things and make up the whole universe or if I am even real or a completely different something of infinite possibilities like a figment of someone's imagination or a character in a video game type thing for example. Let me tell ya, these questions do not mix well with lack of sleep. After questioning it by myself and asking a few close people but getting no answers, I was at work trying to comprehend how life is real and spiraled into an existential breakdown while hyperventilating and crying uncontrollably(girl at work that's embarrassing come on now). I got some sleep and had a few other conversations about it with people but life got pretty busy after that so I was distracted for a while even though it did creep into my mind every now and then. I learned a bit more about other religions and I don't know if religion is something I could follow. I will say I was very scared also about the concept of heaven and hell and thought maybe I should just keep "believing" so I go to heaven. I also felt that concept was holding me back. Doing more research, reading books, and poetry, meditating, and going for walks, I have felt more at peace with who I am and what I am in this life. I like the Taoism belief that "all living creatures ought to live in a state of harmony with the universe, and the energy found in it," so a form of balance. The main thing I choose to believe in is love, specifically finding it in everything, and how it really does shape a fulfilled life. I got recommended some work by Bruce Lipton recently and I really loved his explanation of what the afterlife is from a scientific perspective. He uses simple stories to explain his studies. I'm also getting into my divine feminine and what that is to me because I know I do feel connected to something when I am around or am myself an empowering, strong, creative woman. Anywho, I've never written a comment so lengthy but this really resonated with me so thank you for making this. I wish I had found it during my first breakdown lol. I feel just in the middle of my journey so maybe I'll be back with an update in a few years.
hey! really enjoyed your video.
just wanted to share a little bit of my personal experience if that's ok. I apologize in advance for my poor English, it's not my first language.
I didn't grow up religious, my parents are atheists and so is my sister; but every now and then I'd get the feeling that there's something more. I never really talked about it because it felt embarrassing; it felt like I was being irrational and emotional in a negative way, but I decided to read about religion and God.
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edit:
This is already too long, but real quick, just wanted to give some context:
I'm a physicist, and my parents are engineers and it appears my sister will be one too. I grew up around love for rationality and things of that nature; so talking about a God that works through unsolvable mysteries was looked down upon.
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turns out even though I'm not a big fan of religion, I have now faith in God. when I understood what God (at least from my point of view) is, it felt like something could flow through me. Something that connected me to everything.
It is truly great.
to me, God feels a lot like time. it flows through everything and it's effect might manifest differently on each person. the passing of time also feels different to everyone, and from what I hear from older people, it feels different to the same person as they age and change. Although differently to time, in my experience, God helps us when asked to.
It is very hard to explain, and I don't feel like I'm doing justice to the feeling, but maybe I was able to express a little bit of how I see spirituality.
this might be a life long journey, and the feeling of God might change, but in my experience it has always been good. That's why I hope you find what God feels like to you.
I also hope you're having a nice day.
I've never, ever in my life heard someone speak so much without actually saying anything.
People may be listening just because she is so cute.
I don't know how to respond to this comment but I would like you to know about the love God has for you and he's shown it through the Lord Jesus Christ who is God in the flesh, God sent his son the Lord Jesus Christ to die on the cross so that whosoever believe on him shall not perish but have everlasting life, God is not far from anyone of us and you can get to know God for yourself and when you know God and know his truth you will have peace and will be set free from the lies that this world feed our mind with, you can have true life and have it in abundance in the Lord Jesus Christ who dearly loves you
@@jaylinn416I don't know how to respond to this comment but I would like you to know about the love God has for you and he's shown it through the Lord Jesus Christ who is God in the flesh, God sent his son the Lord Jesus Christ to die on the cross so that whosoever believe on him shall not perish but have everlasting life, God is not far from anyone of us and you can get to know God for yourself and when you know God and know his truth you will have peace and will be set free from the lies that this world feed our mind with, you can have true life and have it in abundance in the Lord Jesus Christ who dearly loves you
This is a freaky coincidence. Like. Really creepy. IF there is a god out there. He is scary and I don’t like him 💀
What a pleasant video. The title intrigued me, as I've been long captured by existential though, and I'm sitting here, nigh 2:30 ante meridiem, wanting to write about this interest of mine. I like the way you present all of this, it's really comfy, and your incitements to engage are nice, so here I am.
I'm not used to expressing myself publicly, although it's but a comment section, and I'm not a native speaker so excuse some idiosyncracies.
I concur with your 'thesis' statement in the beginning, that you just want to share your journey and not prescribe beliefs to people, 'cuz really that's all I've ever wanted to do, and here you created a nice space to do just so.
I too come from a Christian background, though far from the States, and have been exploring life for some time, however I have arrived at a much more cynical outlook, atheist I'd call it, and even though I don't enjoy barging into here with such different beliefs, or lack thereof, I still think there is some merit to sharing. Made a few notes, but I may have missed some things, I'm getting real tired.
Coincidentally, I've very recently had a discussion about beliefs and the existential with a group of friends, so it's great to the same appear on my recommended tab.
What surprised me was how... well everyone but me believed in some higher power, some form of spirituality, I guess, and wouldn't you know it, this same sentiment is present here. I hope I won't appear dismissive, because I subconsciously connect my atheist beliefs with insipid and not very nice reactions to religion, and because I really don't wish to break the openness of the few interactions I've seen here. Before delving into my beliefs I think some background would be quite fitting.
So I come from the middle of Europe, from a smaller slavic state with the name of Slovakia. I was brought up Christian, though not really inside of a community and my dad is an atheist, so only my mom brought any initiative, even that wasn't with much ferver, and I was quite free to wonder with my thoughts. My prayers mostly resemble what you mentioned in the vid, attempts at conversation manifesting in pleading monologue, going to church always seemed boring, and the stories and lessons were repetitive. I guess I am too wary of various social interactions because of my avoidant attachment, and maybe som more underlying issues, but I never felt much of a connection with the people there, though that could very much be a regional thing, and we just don't do religion very well here.
Instead of existing in a Christian bubble, the world seemed more self-contradictory, paradoxical, on one side Christianity, on the other a bunch of school subjects. I'm reducing religion here a lot, yes there's so much more to it than some factoids, the community, spirituality or the sense of connection (maybe there's a term for that) to God, morality, and whatnot... but I could never entirely escape the feeling that something isn't quite right.
What set off my journey was very tumultuous, so first I'd like to say: what a treat it would be to explore these questions within a loving community and spread out over time, passively learning.
Instead... no way to sugarcoat it, I met with the death of my grandma when I was 12... which let me down a spiral of many many doubts and questions and a bout of depression, don't recommend 0/10. What I find interesting is that in your journey, you say you set aside the aspect of heaven and hell. Your comment on the fear of loss was very relatable, but unfortunately for me, at that point I didn't really have a choice to prolong my 'ignorance', I had to confront what heaven means. And that was, for my faith, the breaking point. Took a while to digest, specially for my child brain, and that feeling of getting a rug pulled from under you was everpresent, again, wouldn't recommend.
I cannot ignore all other aspects of my approach ti religion then - I did rely a lot on wanting help from God, I was incredibly insecure, I did doubt a little the many stories told by the religion, I was examining the many religious folk, teachers mostly, and what they say, how I feel about that, - a whole cluster of slowly decommissioning parts of my Christianity. Nevertheless, it was heaven clashing with existential dread which ultimately turned me away.
I don't know if I should explore this in my comment, as really what is central to your journey is spirituality, the connection to something greater, and not... utter doubts... still, to me this was unavoidable, to be met with such a conundrum made it impossible to ignore any inconsistencies. Damn I sound pedantic.
I couldn't stand not knowing for sure, it ate me from within. I don't remember how exactly I got where I got, I only remember the nightly dimness and a lot of tears, and then my beliefs. I arrived at a conclusion, the most cynical there can be, that I cannot know whether heaven exists, and such need to work with two options and make a choice: either it does or it doesn't. If it does, good, I think, if it doesn't though... we have a problem, cuz there... well... Christianity sort of breaks if it doesn't exist. At least in my head it does. If I... understand it properly, Christianity promises eternal salvation for devotion and good behaviour while on Earth. I know the sentiment that one should ignore some of their needs is very medieval, but I did consider the God's opinion before acting most of the time, and I did tread carefully my opinions and worldview in accordance to my beliefs, which was... to some degree limiting. But met with the option that perhaps it is all for naught I couldn't just stop there... I had to get to the bottom of that thought. So I... made a final... postulation - it is possible that there is no heaven and thus all christian virtues lead to nothing, and implying that my earthly life is the only period of consciousness I will ever experience, so... I should... maybe start moving away from religion, and see life as important in and of itself.
That's a lotta text... not done yet, pardon.
To me this existential crisis was truly existential, not just a revisiting of my beliefs but their complete destruction in face of the absurd notion of nothingness. I spent a lot of thought on this, mostly alone, before ever consulting a book or the breadths of internet, which I find a little empowering - to have created a cohesive sense of reality, my own philosophy.
It's always so weird trying to discuss any of this, as there is so much to talk about before even getting to the meaty parts of what I want to say, and it always brings some vestigial bad taste in my mouth, reminiscent of those many reoccurring crises. If you have read this far, and have any questions about my beliefs, as this was... very... vague, and only introductory, feel free to ask. I know it's probably overwhelming at this point, but hey, I'd also like to discuss these things, am relatively passionate about this.
Continuing I have one thing I have to talk about, from my perspective: the connection to something spiritual. In the video you spent some time talking about it, and I really enjoy the perspective of connecting through art, very interesting. I have to assent that being in nature is incredible, there is some sense of peace and belonging that is hard to put into words. But I cannot fathom that these feelings are that of... a connection to someone or something. I mean... I get it... but to me it's but a... normal? emotion. Normal in the sense that it is indeed human, by design, and exists naturally, how else, still - it is a great amount... profound. I think that's the best way to put it - profound, all these moments of connection to you, and reminders of the existential human condition to me are profound in their nature. I couldn't ascribe these feelings a semblance of connection as I've explored them from a completely different lens, but I think think I'm experiencing something similar when I go through it.
Oh there's so much more to talk about, but it's too late, and I'm lost in thought. I'd love to talk more, I hope that my different perspective will fit, though I'm aware I sometimes struggle to write all that well, excuse my egregious amount of words, and I hope my poor insight and shared journey were captivating enough to justify reading.
Have a nice rest of your day!
Wow.....first of all, I want to thank you for the time and thought poured into this response! And secondly, let me assure you that it was indeed worth reading and very interesting to me to hear your perspective. I don't think I can do justice to all the topics and points you covered with my response, but know that I read and thought about each and every word.
Something that stuck out to me was your observation that Christianity is centered around the existence of heaven. I agree AND disagree with this statement. I think heaven is so easy and appealing for Christians to focus on, and at least modern Christianity has made it into the POINT of Christianity. "Be a Christian so you can be saved" and so on. Christians (I include myself or at least my past self in this) sometimes even go so far as seeing the earth and everything that happens on it as a lost cause. Because...why should earthly things matter if it's all going to be destroyed anyway? And why should we put mental energy into trying to make the world better when the bible says it's just going to get worse and worse until Jesus comes again?
...And I think this is such a harmful mindset. Yes, heaven is pretty core to the Christian message, but I don't think it's supposed to be at the center. And I miiiight even argue that Christianity as a belief system and way of life still stands if heaven doesn't exist (this is hard for even me to write because I've gotten so much comfort out of the thought of "a future eternal, perfect life" for so many years). Let me explain...
In my journey as a Christian, and even while I've had these major questions that could make or break that belief, I've come to see that the Christian message - as it should be - centers around love and relationship, with God being the embodiment of that (because even if I feel like I could make an argument for Christianity without heaven, I don't think I could make an argument for it without God/Jesus). To really live out that message of love, the true Christian mindset I think should be focused on the HERE and NOW instead of an abstract, promised future. Instead of asking how can we save souls, we should be asking how can we grow love in our lives, how can we grow and cultivate our communities and show love to others, how can we show love to the earth and live in wholeness and harmony. Even if it's just an effort we can make in our local, immediate community, by living this life of love in the here and now, we can do so much more than trying to coax people into Christianity through fear and the promise of eternal life. That's NOT the point and that was NEVER the point.
It may sound a bit silly for me to be speaking so passionately about Christianity when I myself am questioning its validity and the very existence of God, but as I said in the video, I still really love the true Christian message as I've come to understand it. This is unfortunately not we we are seeing from Christians on a broad scale. And I believe there are many harmful teachings within Christianity (for example, I could never get on board with the idea that "sinners will burn forever." I could never make that make sense with the idea that God is a God of love. And I still have a bit of a hard time with the idea that heaven is only for those who accept God. Yeah...this is why I had to mentally take heaven out of the picture lol...). But I feel that I've been raised with a healthy view of God, and my deconstruction comes less from a place of cognitive dissonance and more from a place of existentialist thought and question.
I definitely got stuck on this one topic you brought up, so if there were any others you wanted to hear my response to, please let me know!
- Darcie
i've never found a video as accurate as what ive experienced for the past 12 years as this
i just have to say that ive been in this situation since 2011, my intrusive thoughts would always creep in to worsen it
i would always feel alone because i never had anyone in my life to talk to about it
especially as someone who lives in a catholic-centric country who studied in a catholic school born and raised in a catholic family
i remember my mom throwing me our bible and would advice me to just read it
if only this video existed when i was 15 years old instead of just hitting my head multiple times in our bathroom
i've learned to manage it 10 years later, but i'd still have episodes of it that would question morals, laws, and philosophies that would lead me to a dark place (again) consumed with intrusive thoughts
i would look at the sky and would just shout internally -- what is free will what is god where is god why are we even here and why did god choose this life for me why am i having these thoughts if god is real why is he letting me experience this hell
it's true that it really feels repetitive and claustrophobic
im glad youtube recommended me this in a drew gooden video...
and i feel so safe you're articulating everything i've thought and suffered through so well
Hi Darcy! Your experience is totally relatable and something similar I went through in my early twenties. You should totally check out videos on Near Death Experiences (NDEs)! They really helped me to cope with my existential crisis.
Watching them has been revelatory for me and shown that God does likely exist and his/her existence and love is sooo much more than any religion or human belief could ever capture. Most importantly, developing a connection with God is totally personal and can only be defined by you! So don't feel guilty if you've never heard "God's voice" before. You may never "hear" it, but that doesn't mean you can't develop a special connection with God and have him/her revealed to you in a way that best fits you! Hope that helps and know that God and the universe love you in more ways than you can expect!
,Getting to know God is more then just living out a religion that you follow, getting to know God is through reading his word the Bible because it is inspired by God and he reveals his character to us in the Bible and Jesus Christ who is God in the flesh we can know who God is and have a genuine relationship with him as our Heavenly Father and our God who loves us that he sent his one and only begotten son the Lord Jesus Christ to die on the cross so that whosoever believe in him shall not perish but have Eternal life, keep seeking God he is not far from any of us
Venerable Fulton Sheen:
“The modern man is no longer a unity, but a confused bundle of complexes and nerves. He is so dissociated, so alienated from himself that he sees himself less as a personality than as a battlefield where a civil war rages between a thousand and one conflicting loyalties. There is no single overall purpose in his life. His soul is comparable to a menagerie in which a number of beasts, each seeking its own prey, turn one upon the other. Or he may be likened to a radio, that is tuned in to several stations; instead of getting any one clearly, it receives only an annoying static.
If the frustrated soul is educated, it has a smattering of uncorrected bits of information with no unifying philosophy. Then the frustrated soul may say to itself: “I sometimes think there are two of me a living soul and a PhD.” Such a man projects his own mental confusion to the outside world and concludes that, since he knows no truth, nobody can know it. His own skepticism (which he universalizes into a philosophy of life) throws him back more and more upon those powers lurking in the dark, dank caverns of his unconsciousness. He changes his philosophy as he changes his clothes. On Monday, he lays down the tracks of materialism; on Tuesday, he reads a best seller, pulls up the old tracks, and lays the new tracks of an idealist; on Wednesday, his new roadway is Communistic; on Thursday, the new rails of Liberalism are laid; on Friday, he-hears a broadcast and decides to travel on Freudian tracks: on Saturday, he takes a long drink to forget his railroading and, on Sunday, ponders why people are so foolish as to go to Church. Each day he has a new idol, each week a new mood. His authority is public opinion: when that shifts, his frustrated soul shifts with it.”
Venerable Fulton Sheen:
“The nature of certain things is fixed, and none more so than the nature of truth. Truth may be contradicted a thousand times, but that only proves that it is strong enough to survive a thousand assaults. But for any one to say, “Some say this, some say that, therefore, there is no truth,” is about as logical as it would have been for Columbus who heard some say, “The earth is round”, and others say “The earth is flat” to conclude: “Therefore, there is no earth at all.”
It is this kind of thinking that cannot distinguish between a sheep and his second coat of wool, between Napoleon and his three-cornered hat, between the substance and the accident, the kind that has begotten minds so flattened with broadness that they have lost all their depth. Like a carpenter who might throw away his rule and use each beam as a measuring-rod, so, too, those who have thrown away the standard of objective truth have nothing left with which to measure but the mental fashion of the moment.
The giggling giddiness of novelty, the sentimental restlessness of a mind unhinged, and the unnatural fear of a good dose of hard thinking, all conjoin to produce a group of sophomoric latitudinarians who think there is no difference between God as Cause and God as a “mental projection”; who equate Christ and Buddha, St. Paul and John Dewey, and then enlarge their broad-mindedness into a sweeping synthesis that says not only that one Christian sect is just as good as another, but even that one world-religion is just as good as another. The great god “Progress” is then enthroned on the altars of fashion, and as the hectic worshipers are asked, “Progress towards what?” The tolerant answer comes back, “More progress.” All the while sane men are wondering how there can be progress without direction and how there can be direction without a fixed point. And because they speak of a “fixed point,” they are said to be behind the times, when really they are beyond the times mentally and spiritually.”"
the 6 reasons you are going to Islamic hell, I posted to this comment, as my others were being blocked.
1) no belief in Allah = no salvation
2) Presumption of Allahs mercy for choosing the wrong religion
3) To impugn the known truth of islam
4) Envy of muslims living better lives you
5) stubbornness in sticking to your false Christian religion.
6) refusal to repent for following a false religion
I was hoping you would take the hint when I quoted the quran that all religions are equally as compelling and that you're simply quoting from a book of fairytales and magic, but your obviously a bit slow and stupid.
✨🦋
Since we are posting quotes, GK Chesterton said the skeptic is just smart enough to take apart a car, but not enough to put it back together again, so they just stand at the side of the road trying to look in deep thought because asking for help would expose them.
This is a good quote actually and it stuck with me after you commented yesterday! I do see the danger of this kind of complacency happening in a time of questioning like the one I’m going through, and this quote was a wake up call to me. The one thing I’ll say is that I’m in conversations with many other people about this journey, Christians and non-christians. I think reaching out to community is very important. However, I also see that some of my spiritual practices have slipped away, and this is a reminder for me to not let uncertainty be the excuse for letting that happen.
-Darcie
@@PassionfrootCo Look up The Church Fathers.
I was taught that all religions are looking at the same thing, and I recently converted to the Catholic faith, which is sort of reversing the family teaching of universalism for a more orthodox way. So, the opposite of you in a way. Christianity always seemed off to me, but what I have found in the Catholic faith is so ancient and beautiful. I think what is important is intentionality and consciously choosing our faith, or lack of it, not as a way to defy parents (something I have allowed to guide me at times), or for some other reason, but as an active choice.
My advice on this, is to really read the Bible and seek a relationship with God and let him be your teacher and to really understand who God reveals himself through the Bible and the Lord Jesus Christ
Thank you for sharing a bit of your experience! I love that you were able to find your own way into what rings true to you. I do feel like all or most religions are looking at the same thing as well, just from different angles. I do also believe there is one universal truth, but that’s an incredibly hard (impossible?) thing to find because we have such a limited perspective (and SO MANY perspectives too!) here on tiny earth 😅
I don't know if it could answer questions you have or anything but the Bock Saga might be worth looking into. Pretty sure it'll be the craziest story you'll ever hear, but perhaps due to that very thing and its own internal logic, the story might just be true. Good place to start is first Welcome to Hel, then Welcome to Altlantis and then Welcome to Rajasthan by Jim Chesnar. interesting stories at least if nothing else.
After a brief google search…wow this does indeed look crazy. Thank you for the recs!
God Himself To St Catherine Of Siena on you:
"Do you know dearest daughter, how I raise the soul out of her imperfections? Sometimes I vex her with evil thoughts and a sterile mind. It will seem to her that I have left her completely, without any feeling whatever. She does not seem to be in the world, because she is in fact not there; nor does she seem to be in me because she has no feeling at all other than that her will does not want sin. I do not allow enemies to open the gate of the will that is free. I do let the devils and other enemies of humankind beat against other gates, but not against this, which is the main gate guarding the city of the soul. I do not will the soul’s d4th as long as she is not so stpd as to open the gate of her will. They cannot enter unless her own will chooses to let them in."
Hopefully at least some of the messages I posted showed up.
Hopefully you can choose God over meaningless trends on tik tok spurred by sxual s1n.
I feel like there's so much I could respond to in this video because I've gone through some similar stuff.
Heaven was always confusing to me and didn't seem like somewhere I'd want to go. What I, as a kid, understood to be the key promise of Christian life (marriage) was going to be taken away from you and then you would sing worship music (the worst kind of music) for eternity.
Encountering Christian apologists through books was a terrible experience if it was meant to be edifying to faith haha. By the time I was taking theology classes at the private Christian college I attended, I was checked out.
I'm not sure I ever "lost" faith. It seems more accurate to say that it never was a part of my life and so what constituted "deconstruction" for me was simply walking away from the community that reveled in it as a baseline for their life, something which I simply can't engage with.
I don't fully know your experience, but if Christianity was only a religion with a set of rules that you had to follow, I want you to know being a Christian means to have a relationship with God and know him and who he reveals himself in the Bible and in the Lord Jesus Christ who is God himself and the idea of Heaven to most people is in the way how you describe it but if you ask a Christian to really draw or describe heaven they probably couldn't because it's inexpressible, it's not something we can really Imagine or think of and as you continue to grow in Christ your view and understanding about faith and God and the Lord Jesus Christ starts to change, another thing I want to point out the Bible uses metaphor to help us understand things like Christ calling us his sheep or to be like dove it's not a literal thing but it helps us understand what the writers are saying and in the same way the people who wrote about Heaven are trying to help us understand through words like crowns and other words
@@MarRee-zi3ri yeah i heard that from everybody growing up. "Christianity aint a set of rules"
jesus aint revealed shit to me when I read the bible. Ecclesiastes was the best book
@@wigglewigglewigglewiggle your sxual s1n explains everything.
God Himself To St Catherine Of Siena on you:
"I do not allow enemies to open the gate of the will that is free. I do let the devils and other enemies of humankind beat against other gates, but not against this, which is the main gate guarding the city of the soul. I do not will the soul’s d4th as long as she is not so stpd as to open the gate of her will. They cannot enter unless her own will chooses to let them in."
Thank you for sharing a bit of your story! I giggled while reading your understanding of heaven because I can relate to it on some level😂 (especially the whole marriage thing - that’s just confusing lol). I think I said this in the video - I feel like heaven has been too focused on in some Christian messaging. Not only is there the fear-driven message of “making it to heaven” and “being saved from hell,” but also heaven, assuming it’s real, is something so far outside of our understanding that it’s almost silly to try to explain what it’ll be like and to dwell on it. I think Christianity would benefit so much by having more of a focus on living and loving well in this life as opposed to getting saved for the next life. That’s where I’m at currently, at least.
Thank you so much for sharing. I grew up in evangelicalism myself, a very fundamentalist strain. I have left Christianity but discovered God (for lack of a better word). Mysticism is a means of knowing rather than believing. There are ways to know by direct experience. If your heart longs for truth and the true God, you will seek and you will find.
Thank you for being so open and real. It takes courage.
Thank you so much for your encouragement and also for sharing a little of your story! That’s what I choose to believe too - what you seek you will find ❤️ if God exists, and if I want to find him, he will meet me there. -Darcie
mysticism is VERY dangerous.
Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists. A baby feels hunger: well, there is such a thing as food. A duckling wants to swim: well, there is such a thing as water. Men feel sexual desire: well, there is such a thing as sex. If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is a fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing. If that is so, I must take care, on the one hand, never to despise, or be unthankful for, these earthly blessings, and on the other, never to mistake them for the something else of which they are only a kind of copy, or echo, or mirage. I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find until after death; I must never let it get snowed under or turned aside; I must make it the main object of life to press on to that other country and to help others do the same.
C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
the inability to acieve 100% satisfaction or 100% happiness doesnt necessarily indicate that you weren't made for this world, I don't see how that would follow, it could possibly be that it's evolutionarily advantageous to constantly keep wanting to get better or achieve higher states and levels because it makes us feel like we're making progress and this helps survival of the species.
@@brianbridges8124 "You Made Us For You O Lord, And Our Hearts Are Restless Until They Rest In You."
@@brianbridges8124 darwin's intent was to pretend he was "meaningless" like the animals he studied when he was deathly sick and disowned by his family.
@@brianbridges8124 why? Catholics took his slves away and he wanted revenge for being made desitute.
@@brianbridges8124 Why did it get popular? english elite wanted their slaves back, and if they couldn't have their plantations they would settle for inhuman factory work instead.
you are just following a trend.
shme Is The Natural Response to you doing the unnatural.
you would be ashmed if you never heard of God.
do you try and scare and preach to everyone about your subjective interpretations of one religion out of thousands,
@@brianbridges8124 Not one thing I said is "subjective."
@@brianbridges8124 you have nothing without The Church.
You're good, extremely knowledgeable and you have a very high quality background music, leave a link to those fine artists