Just some prospective from an old man, 1 of my worst heartbreaks was 6 months before I meet my wife of 20 years and counting. We are blessed with 2 great children and every year gets better.
Please never delete these videos or private them- I seriously come back to them all the time. When I feel low about my situation I just watch these to stay positive.
I think people are following your journey and your life more than ever now. Including myself. And I say this because what you're currently going through is relatable to everyone.
I think it's extremely inspirational and informational to show the process while actually in it. The person I thought was the love of my life broke up with me 3 years ago and I'm still single. Her explaining ways to love yourself really are mandatory in recovery and rediscovering happiness without that person.
How you get over it: 1. don't text him 2. don't text him back 3. don't call him 4. don't call him back 5. don't view his social media 6. Vent about now, but in 30 days don't mention it. 7. don't try to make him jealous because he doesn't give a fuck. 8. don't get wasted, it's not healthy. 9. Hang out with your friends often. 10. Pray about it Good luck, you're a beautiful woman.
I was in a relationship for 8 years, I felt like I grew up with that person & did basically everything with that person. When he ended things it was quick and out of nowhere & I completely felt like I was dying. I spent a day literally getting dolled up to just break down & cry..I cried so hard I couldn't catch my breath. What helped me was letting myself grieve. I let my self go thru these stages of sadness, emptiness, resentment, anger, and then let it go.. I told myself one day that I did enough & was enough. & when the time would come I would try again with someone else. I let myself reach goals & get pampered, have girl time, all this helped. You will get thru this. Trust me but first go thru it your own way and then when ur ready get off the sad horse and get it Nikki!!! All love ❤️😊
So true. I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 19, and it may not seem like much, but being single in my high school years, focusing on school, and excelling in my first year of college really did wonders for my confidence and letting me feel like I could do what ever I wanted to do. That way, when I met my current boyfriend, I was already so sure of myself and I knew that even if I was by myself, I'm capable of loving myself and providing happiness for myself.
1) make a list of every reason you broke up and why it wasn't working. look at it every time you feel bad and just want them back to make the pain stop. 2) think back to another time when you were absolutely devastated/heart broken. you're over that now. you'll get over this too. 3) look at the big picture. yeah it sucks. don't feel bad for feeling pain, but recognize that it will end. you just have to get through one day at a time. 3) keep busy. if you're lying awake agonizing over it, read a book. 4) get some separation. either in the form of literal distance or in a new person. if nothing happens to change the way you see that person, you'll always think of them as the person you love. time apart and/or crushing on someone new accomplishes this. 5) get angry. this is counter intuitive, and you should never actually act on it. but if you can get angry at the person for not treating you how you should be treated, it's an easier emotion to deal with than hurt. being hurt and sad leads to obsessing and moping. being angry leads to saying fuck it and moving on.
Personally, I find peace knowing that my story is already written. There's a plan for your life and all of the trials and tribulations are just part of it. Heartbreak allows you to dig deep and become the best version of yourself. Use it as fuel to excel and push forward. You'll be stronger in the end.
If you believe your life is predetermined then you're fucking deluded, you can do what you want with your life there's no predetermined plan for your life, but you can create your own plan
Do you actually know how beautiful you are? Not because of the vulnerable, raw, heart-wrenchingly human thing you are going through, but because you are sharing it with so much honesty and in such a genuine way. I have even more respect for you than I had before; and that was A LOT!
Thank you so much for making these two videos. I am 99% sure that I am going to leave my husband. We have been together for nearly 10 years, married for 6 1/2. A 18 months ago, I think he just stopped loving me. He has admitted to being unfaithful once (says it was a drunken 1 night stand) but I suspect it is much more than that. Things have gotten to the point where the relationship is borderline abusive. I love him so much and I would give absolutely anything to make him love me like he used to. It is so hard, but I know I need to go. If I don't, I am going to become a shell of a person. I don't know why I am leaving all of this in a comment on a you tube video, but for some reason I just need get this out into the universe, I guess. Anyway, thank you for helping me see life afterwards is possible. I feel a little less alone and it makes coping with the pain just a little easier.
Jen Everyday this hurts to read. You need to do what's best for you. You might be leaving him physically but your husband sounds like he's already left emotionally, and that can be even more painful. Good luck, you're a beautiful person
Nikki you are truly going to help so many people. I think especially younger girls who may be dealing with their very first break up and can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. You're so beautiful inside and out, and have a heart of gold yourself. Much love, xox.
You're amazing ❤️ I totally agree about giving it your all at the gym and spending time with friends. Maybe try something you've never been before or go on a trip!
Time heals but only if you don't see him on social media/in person ever. His presence just brings back so many memories and "what ifs" that you'll continue to dwell whether you want to or not.
I felt so many different emotions watching this video. Sad, angry, empowered, and happy. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. I think it's so fucking wonderful that you're keeping yourself going and pushing through this tough time. You're such a goddamn inspiration. You're a beautiful person both inside and out. I seriously wish the best for you. I'm looking forward to you taking us through the next chapter of your life with you. Keep your chin up and stay strong girl. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Something that helped me when my dad passed away was FORCING myself to listen to insanely happy and upbeat music whenever I felt really low. I'd have bad spells of crying (and that's okay! Let yourself go there every once in a while) but I'd always turn on a feel good song and make myself listen to it all the way through. By the end, I didn't feel like crying anymore. Stay strong, girl
Had an awful breakup in May from my ex gf and I used these tips along the journey: 1. Take life day by day and don't think too far ahead. 2. Forgive the other person. You may have some sort of hatred towards them but you must forgive them to move on. 3. Going for long walks, runs or dedicating yourself to the gym def takes your mind off things. It really lit a fire in me to become really fit and that's where I am now! 4. Going off number 3, find a hobby or goal to work toward and dedicate yourself to it. 5. Spend time with friends and family. These people will support you no matter what. 6. Love yourself. Time heals eventually. I still feel somewhat hurt a tiny bit from it all but you learn a lot about yourself through this life lesson. It really puts a chip on your shoulder, which has motivated me so much :-) You'll be fine, Nikki!
The reason why people love you so much is because you're so down to earth, relateable and inspiring! The thing that helped me most was surrounding myself with my girlfriends and just go out and have fun. Drink a little too much one night, eat icecream, kiss a random guy at a bar(lol) and just be goofy and fun and in a sense, free! Enjoy this time in your life! You're a babe and it's time to do you! xoxo
When my ex and I broke up I found that throwing myself into cooking really helped. Maybe it was a control thing but something about finding new recipes, following them, and ending up with yummy food was oddly comforting. I am so glad you included feeling pretty/worthwhile because post breakup I spent way too long being a slob and moping. It really did not help and I wish I would've snapped out of it sooner! Also, my favorite coping skill is going to the beach. I live in Florida so I'm lucky that's pretty easy to accomplish. Loved this video and look forward to part 2! 💕
My boyfriend and I broke up 2 weeks before Valentine's day.. what helped me the most was to be present. Recognize and fully acknowledge each feeling and give it it's proper attention. I used to pressure myself to "be strong" but burying, pushing aside, or distracting myself from feeling a particular feeling isn't healthy. So let each feeling have center stage and accept that it's OK to slide backwards with all the feels. Even sliding backwards is progressive for the soul if it's allowed.. that's what I'm learning and what's been helping me.
My heart aches for you! You deserve the best and one day you'll find that. Also i cannot stress how much we all appreciate your openness and honesty, so rare to find on youtube these days
my coping includes volunteer work. It gave me a beautiful perspective of how fortunate I am and how I needed to appreciate the things I had in my life.
Nikki! Seriously - Stop working out at the gym, stop hanging at his house and stop being his 'friend'. He will never miss you if you're always (or even sometimes) around. If you're around he has the best of both worlds. He gets to see you and be your 'friend' but doesn't have the emotional ties of being 'with you/ together'. You have to be strong and step away from him and everything he does. Anyway... wishing you the best!
For some reason I love nikki even more now. I love the idea of Nikki finding herself, Im so excited to see where this journey takes her. Im sure so much personal growth is going to happen and it makes me so excited to see! Go Nikki, go!!!
Write. It's so therapeutic. I really recommend writing letters to him or to yourself. You'll never send them, but it's a way of getting it all out. It can be whatever you want: sad, angry, harsh, loving. It's YOUR letter. I have found that it really helps me through. I hope you try it out. Keep shining, Nikki.
Agreed! When the feelings are fresh or overwhelming, or you just want to work through them because you can't distract yourself any longer.... I write, usually not something for other person to read (but maybe) and I feel like writing always helps me find some perspective or resolution.
Never ever heard of your channel until I had a really bad break-up. Glad I found it. Heartbreak is torture but it brings out the best in you once it empties you dry. It's one of those things that matures you like none other.
Nikki, I have always loved you from the first video I watched of yours (I then literally proceeded to binge watch all of your videos) but I am gaining a newfound love and respect for you from these past two videos. This video in particular really shows a different Nikki. Idk what it is, but something about you is different in a good no a great way. You seem calm and at peace with the situation and just ready to tackle the world. It is so inspiring to watch and I wish I could come up with a different word other than inspiring because that word is so cliche and overused but you are an inspiration and a beautiful, strong, and independent woman. Can't wait to see what this new chapter holds for you ❤️❤️
Put your energy in decorating your new place! I try to start DIY projects or I paint when I'm heartbroken. It takes time but in that time start saying "Yes" to travel opportunities and anything that will bring to new places and meeting new people. When I had my last breakup I was a mess but started getting more modeling opportunities. It wasn't a lot of work but the experience and traveling was enough for me to regain my confidence in myself and meet new people.
I just got broken up with a month or so ago and I completely can relate to what you are going through, Nikki, but you are strong and courageous and beautiful inside and out. Nothing can stop you from moving forward. I've learned that when I'm sad or starting to think about my ex, I just text one of my best friends or call them and I ask them how they are doing. Your friends are going to be there for you through it all so just take advantage of their presence. Surround yourself with positive people. I also try and journal daily. Writing helps me figure myself out and when you've finally moved on you'll be able to look back at all your entries and realize that while in the moment it was hard and terrible, it wasn't that way forever. Lots of love being sent your way.
Sleeping alone is the worst feeling, when you were so used to having the person you love next to you 😔 everyone has been there. Nights are the worst for sure, when going through a breakup. Just surround yourself with friends and family Nikki. Your gonna be just fine 👍🏼
this helped me: not to think the person is lost,some ppl compare it to a lost like someone died. what you do have in common is that, wherever you are, you're under the same sky.
Hey Nikki I just wanna say I always thought you were down to earth and motivating but after this week my respect for you has risen and I love ya more keep doing what your doing and you will become stronger and go so far in life xx
To cope with the breakup what I did was keep myself busy. Remember that idle hands keep the mind wondering. Keep yourself as busy as possible write down goals you wanna accomplish for you and that would make you happy. I wrote down daily, weekly, monthly and yearly goals and before I knew it I was fine. I also went to the gym a lot and spent a lot of time with friends and family because they brought so much joy and laughter. I feel like being surrounded by loved ones and just getting back to focusing on yourself, enjoying life and taking everything one step at a time helped a lot. The more your focus on your past the more likely you are to not focus on your future. You're a beautiful woman and I've been following you for so long Nikki everything will be okay.
When I feel stressed out of overwhelmed or sad I like to go to church, because it's easy to get caught up in your busy schedule and it's nice to here a message from God. Today I went back to church for the first time in a few months and I actually cried because the message spoke right to my heart and made me feel good again. ILY Nikki!
Nikki don't forget the recovery process is slow. Before getting it over, you need to get through it. There is a slight difference. I think you are trying to hurry things up, like you are avoiding feeling/expressing pain. You are trying to hard to feel better. Don't be so hard on yourself. The first step is to accept that is over, and you will probably need to think a lot about it, till you are done with it. Don't expect him to chance his mind in a future. Don't keep hopes. Let the sadness and anger flow. Cry as much as you need and talk as much as you want about it. The idea is not to get depressed. The intention is to assimilate the situation and the emotions that come with it. In order to move on, you first need to feel it so you can feel relief. Spend some days alone and some other days with your friends and family. Keep going to the gym. It is OK if you want to stay away from UA-cam or social media for a few days or weeks. Avoid contact with him for a while, you can be friends in a future, but not now! That will just make things harder for you. Once you feel better, try new things: eat something different, travel to other countries, learn a new sport or about something that calls your attention. Good luck (:
I find the best way to cope with these kinds of emotions is writing your feelings out, which usually turns into poetry. You're amazing and such an inspiration. Thank you!
Nikki- I think this breakup may be a blessing in disguise for you. I have been following you for awhile and every now and then you talk about how you love to write and wanted to be a writer. I think this would be a perfect time for you to invest in your writing again. You have such a strong voice and I guarantee people would love to read what you write whether heartbreak related or not.
So weird seeing you in a video completely without CG, I like it. My gf used to tell me like "oh hey did you see Nikki's video the other day?" But now I'm like "BABE I SAW IT 12 SECONDS AFTER IT CAME OUT, GET ON MY LEVEL!" Also the new apartment looks awesome, like one of those Manhattan-style lofts. I will now proceed to close UA-cam and hold back tears of envy.
I'm not even going through a break up but thank you for just being so freaking positive in a really hard situation instead of crippling yourself. Podcasts help from keeping your mind off of things when you're realizing your sitting in self pity thoughts a little to long.
You are so strong girl! This is the best advice! One thing I love to do when I'm feeling sad is to write in a journal. I write out my feelings, some goals I want to achieve, places I want to visit in the world, anything that takes my mind away from the sadness! I hope this helps you!
I don't think I've ever made a comment on your videos, but I just want to say I love you and I have been following you for a longggg time. I almost feel like I'm going through this breakup with you because I've been keeping up with your relationship for so long XD I know this sucks for you, but I'm proud of you for keeping your head up and coping in a positive way. It's inspiring how strong you are, and you inspire me as a woman, as I'm sure you do for all of the other women/young girls that watch your vlogs. Much love!
Talking to new people. Dealing with the emotions of the break up but also just getting around new people of the opposite sex can be refreshing. It doesn't take away from the history of that person but it can help you realize there is a whole world of people you will connect with out there. People who make you smile and care about you!
When my mom died working out was the best way for me to relieve stress and anxiety and sadness. Always felt better afterwards. Honestly, counseling helped as well - having someone to vent to that isn't your friend with a biased opinion is so helpful! You are strong, and beautiful and you're doing soso well!
I'm going through a horrible breakup at the minute as of yesterday, I watched this about a month ago when I thought everything was roses but I've gone back to it now hoping it's going to help! I'm trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel 😕 nothing more depressing! Maybe it's too raw atm to think positively I don't know! You have such a positive outlook on things! Thank you nikki X
Absolutely love this! I've been struggling for the past 6-8 months with the feelings I've had for someone I've been with for over 3 years. It's always scary to actually be on your own, but once you realize you're amazing just by yourself, without anyone, you can do anything. I usually cope by doing things that I love-- reading, writing, being outside, being with family, etc.
breaking up with someone after 8 years , who you work with almost everyday is extremely difficult. I feel bad for anyone who has gone through that. not easy to do at all
i am a mess. My boyfriend just broke up with me in our college library. You are my biggest inspiration and I've felt so lonely because my friends are busy but your videos always help me. Thank you so much xoxo
Little is more comforting when experiencing something like this than having someone else who understands and is coping alongside you (even if it's across the country). Thank you for sharing this; you don't know how much you are helping others by being so transparent about your pain, and accepting it, but refusing to let it crush you. Sending you so much love and good vibes
Always remember it's easier to let things go, simply because they are heavy. You can only control yourself, and your reactions - not others actions. Some day someone - the one - is going to treat you better than you ever imagined.
That's exactly what I said!!! Ha! It's true Nikki, plus it might spark some healthy jealousy and you might gain some extra newfound confidence and a little self esteem boost!
Would probably not be the greatest idea. It could become a very destructive path. I've seen girls go there and it turned out to do more damage than healing. It often turns in to a way of boosting your self-esteem, but the high is gone just as fast. It is much better to actually take some time to come to terms with the fact that it is actually over by yourself before you get out on the meat market again. This wasn't just some 1 month fling. This was a serious long-term relationship, it leaves traces.
you are so fucking strong for being so open and vulnerable. you're going to help so many people to realize that nobody's life is perfect and really shitty shit happens to everyone. heartbreak is fucking hell but you're going to get through it and come out stronger and better than ever on the other side. i so admire you for this. you're a beautiful person
First of all Nikki I'm astounded with how you are handling this, all I can see is positive vibes shining through you! Any time I'm in a rough patch meditation, prayer, yoga, & JOURNALING helps me. Journaling I think is my biggest go to just because it's so freeing.
Great job on staying positive! 4 yrs ago I got out of a 8.5yr relationship. Long story, but I'll spare the details. Anyways I had to rebuild my self and life. The first thing I did was look at it as a new beginning and what I wanted to do for myself. I started my bucket list. I did a one yr and a 5 yr. It's fun to look back on the list and see things you have accomplish. The list helped me to stay focus and gave me something to look forward to. One of my things I did was go skydiving. I was supposed to get married and since it didn't happen. I went skydiving on the date of wedding and over the venue. It was my symbolic way of letting everything go and trusting in God. Not sure what your religious beliefs are, but if you do believe in God. Please remember he'll never give you more than you can handle and he gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers. It's just going to take time to heal. YOU GOT THIS :)
I lost my boyfriend to cancer in summer 2014 it was very hard but I survived it with focusing on myself! I spend a lot of time with my family because I felt that was good for me. I already have been working out, but I also had an eating disorder at the same time. I realized I have to work on myself and that's what I did - I concentrated on myself. Now I am happy again, I have someone amazing on my side and he accepts and loves me the way I am that's what I do to! I learned to love myself, love life and how important it is to do what makes me happy! So I totally agree with Nikki! The best way to go trough heartbreaks or any kind of hard time is to focus on yourself and on what makes YOU happy! Love the video! I love it how you keep real and share your feelings! Keep it up!
Watched it when it first came out, but came back to it, because I'm dealing with my own heartbreak and need some Hot Mess Express advice 💕🍍 love you Nikki, thank you
That townhouse is BEAUTIFUL! Full of light and positivity! I feel like this will be the year of Nikki!! Focus on you and what makes you happy! You've got this! I create, I bake (GIVE 99% of it AWAY), draw, I've even written a ridiculous book that will never see the light of day. Just gotta get those raw emotions out, like you already are, and put them to good use. Also Gilmore Girls, binge watch it during cardio. You're going to get through this, and you're going to be better and stronger for it! Ramble done!
When I have a heartbreak situation, meditation (in the sun) and writing help me a lot. I'll do yoga, breathe, reflect on how I feel, reflect on life in general, and then write down my feelings. It really helps to work them out and move forward!
Having a Mantra helped me a lot through a really tough patch... mine was; Perfer et obdura, dolor hic tibi proderit olim. (Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you.)
I don't have any tips to add, recently got hit with the same exact thing and i'm still in phase one of not getting out of bed. crippling anxiety and paralyzing sadness. thank you for sharing with us, clearly some of us need the help also.
For me, (I mean, I haven't had a heartbreak in a while but I have been in funks) it sounds silly but keeping with routine is key. Because it gives you a semblance of control when you realize only a very small part of your life has changed. And cleaning. Oh my god cleaning has saved me from the weeps so many times. I just put on some awesome music (Billy Joel!) and clean my entire apartment. It makes me feel awesome.
you're so put together and intelligent Nikki. You're hard work does not go unnoticed babe and it is truly crazy how influential you are. I'm a 21 year old female college student and I've followed you from the beginning. you've been an enormous inspiration through extremely tough times in my life. Don't ever change. I'm glad you know yourself well enough to do what is right for you
one of my coping mechanisms is to continue in my usual, daily routine. when i get sad about something, its easy for me to become extremely unproductive and just mope around all day. but i find that when i continue doing what i normally do throughout the day, it takes my mind off the situation
*Music* is *Medicine*! I laid in bed all those lonely nights blasting music through my earphones, and just singing/acting out any song that I listened to (quietly or silently), but with *passion*. It seems as though it made all the hurtfulness leave my body & mind, then allowed me to relax & go to sleep. Hope this helps! And just know everything will be okay. :)
This is so powerful!! Thank you so much for putting this out there. 💛 I'm not going through heartbreak in love but definitely in other aspects of my life and this helped so much to hear what you are doing to help. You're amazing! Keep it up! Xo
I`m not picking sides, but what CG probably doesn`t realize is that Nikki was a part of his brand, if we can call it that, or appeal. She was one of the reasons that made him what he is today.
+SemuckiProductions he put in effort to launch all of his businesses, he always came across as business orientated and respected his friends, he still does. His hard work brought him success not going out with a good looking girl. You're only disliking him now because of this break up.
hey girl.. i just got out of a 5 year relationship. I can really relate to these videos youre making! Thank you for being so vulnerable with us. I moved across the country alone after a break up and it has done so many amazing things for my life in the last year. Its good to know someone felt the same way that i felt when my heart was broken. Youre lucky you have good friends who are there to support you. Youre going to be great! You have an amazing life. Super jealous of your new place!! Things will fall into order when they need to. Took me a long time to realize that. Going through an experience like this is seriously life changing, but you really can discover how strong you are as a person and its honestly fulfilling to see how far youve come after such a devastating time in life. Love you Nikki!! love your videos! They are so helpful with my fitness journey :)
Just some prospective from an old man, 1 of my worst heartbreaks was 6 months before I meet my wife of 20 years and counting. We are blessed with 2 great children and every year gets better.
crying, thank you so much for this comment
Thank you for this. It gives me hope and a light at the end of the sadness.
Thanks. Needed that man. Hope you're well.
Omg I wish 😢
beautiful thank you for sharing this
Please never delete these videos or private them- I seriously come back to them all the time. When I feel low about my situation I just watch these to stay positive.
Pickeledcoconut
I Am right there with you!
Same here!
Yeah that's why I am here now
Same 😂❣️
Hell yes
I think people are following your journey and your life more than ever now. Including myself. And I say this because what you're currently going through is relatable to everyone.
agreed
+drivenpoet exactly. Most of us have recently gone through this exact thing, and some people may be going through it right now
I think it's extremely inspirational and informational to show the process while actually in it. The person I thought was the love of my life broke up with me 3 years ago and I'm still single. Her explaining ways to love yourself really are mandatory in recovery and rediscovering happiness without that person.
I agree!!!
Yes!
How you get over it:
1. don't text him
2. don't text him back
3. don't call him
4. don't call him back
5. don't view his social media
6. Vent about now, but in 30 days don't mention it.
7. don't try to make him jealous because he doesn't give a fuck.
8. don't get wasted, it's not healthy.
9. Hang out with your friends often.
10. Pray about it
Good luck, you're a beautiful woman.
and you're going to be sad, it's natural, don't avoid it.
No you got that wrong ,is like don't black out when you get drunk we all know 🤪 what happen
Prayer is the only thing that truly heals a heartbreak
Amen
So true that's what happened to me and God has healed me to be the happiest I've EVER been in my whole life. He is faithful
+Kriston Bhattan Lets pray for her. :)
I agree
+BadMannerKorea that's your opinion and you can keep it to yourself. I hope you find G-D eventually.
I was in a relationship for 8 years, I felt like I grew up with that person & did basically everything with that person. When he ended things it was quick and out of nowhere & I completely felt like I was dying. I spent a day literally getting dolled up to just break down & cry..I cried so hard I couldn't catch my breath. What helped me was letting myself grieve. I let my self go thru these stages of sadness, emptiness, resentment, anger, and then let it go.. I told myself one day that I did enough & was enough. & when the time would come I would try again with someone else. I let myself reach goals & get pampered, have girl time, all this helped. You will get thru this. Trust me but first go thru it your own way and then when ur ready get off the sad horse and get it Nikki!!! All love ❤️😊
A few years being single will do wonders. Some of the happiest moments of my life have come when I was single. Enjoy the time.
+jmarcguy SO TRUEEEEEEE
so true!
agreed! 👍
So true. I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 19, and it may not seem like much, but being single in my high school years, focusing on school, and excelling in my first year of college really did wonders for my confidence and letting me feel like I could do what ever I wanted to do. That way, when I met my current boyfriend, I was already so sure of myself and I knew that even if I was by myself, I'm capable of loving myself and providing happiness for myself.
This comment is gold.
1) make a list of every reason you broke up and why it wasn't working. look at it every time you feel bad and just want them back to make the pain stop.
2) think back to another time when you were absolutely devastated/heart broken. you're over that now. you'll get over this too.
3) look at the big picture. yeah it sucks. don't feel bad for feeling pain, but recognize that it will end. you just have to get through one day at a time.
3) keep busy. if you're lying awake agonizing over it, read a book.
4) get some separation. either in the form of literal distance or in a new person. if nothing happens to change the way you see that person, you'll always think of them as the person you love. time apart and/or crushing on someone new accomplishes this.
5) get angry. this is counter intuitive, and you should never actually act on it. but if you can get angry at the person for not treating you how you should be treated, it's an easier emotion to deal with than hurt. being hurt and sad leads to obsessing and moping. being angry leads to saying fuck it and moving on.
Sarah Coulson thank you
Personally, I find peace knowing that my story is already written. There's a plan for your life and all of the trials and tribulations are just part of it. Heartbreak allows you to dig deep and become the best version of yourself. Use it as fuel to excel and push forward. You'll be stronger in the end.
Truth
If you believe your life is predetermined then you're fucking deluded, you can do what you want with your life there's no predetermined plan for your life, but you can create your own plan
Adam Craig I'm with you. Just trying to spread some positivity.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. That's totally fine. Therefore, why I prefaced my initial comment with "personally"...
Chelsea Shamy I specifically chose to direct my comment towards Adam Craig but that is fine.
Do you actually know how beautiful you are? Not because of the vulnerable, raw, heart-wrenchingly human thing you are going through, but because you are sharing it with so much honesty and in such a genuine way. I have even more respect for you than I had before; and that was A LOT!
I really think shopping helps me get over anything that upsets me!
Lol
Hell yea. Agreed 1000%☑️☑️☑️
I'm a guy. I never understood how it helps? lol can someone explain..
+Ayub Alom Im a guy with style I think. Its the thrill of looking good in new things and being more attractive
me to then i am upset and broke. lol
Thank you so much for making these two videos. I am 99% sure that I am going to leave my husband. We have been together for nearly 10 years, married for 6 1/2. A 18 months ago, I think he just stopped loving me. He has admitted to being unfaithful once (says it was a drunken 1 night stand) but I suspect it is much more than that. Things have gotten to the point where the relationship is borderline abusive. I love him so much and I would give absolutely anything to make him love me like he used to. It is so hard, but I know I need to go. If I don't, I am going to become a shell of a person. I don't know why I am leaving all of this in a comment on a you tube video, but for some reason I just need get this out into the universe, I guess. Anyway, thank you for helping me see life afterwards is possible. I feel a little less alone and it makes coping with the pain just a little easier.
Jen Everyday this hurts to read. You need to do what's best for you. You might be leaving him physically but your husband sounds like he's already left emotionally, and that can be even more painful. Good luck, you're a beautiful person
Bloody Gold Digger ! Money Money Money !
Jen, hoping everything went well for you. Live a life you LOVE.
Jen Everyday n I am just reading this... how are YOU doing ??? .... (going through almost same situation)
So sorry 😞
Nikki you are truly going to help so many people. I think especially younger girls who may be dealing with their very first break up and can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. You're so beautiful inside and out, and have a heart of gold yourself.
Much love, xox.
You're amazing ❤️ I totally agree about giving it your all at the gym and spending time with friends. Maybe try something you've never been before or go on a trip!
*done
+SophiaMarina where did you travel to?
this is such a great video nikki omg so proud of you for being so positive😭💖💖💖
❤
For a person that has lost the man she loves, you are dealing with everything so well. Your a strong gal, keep it up 😊
Time heals but only if you don't see him on social media/in person ever. His presence just brings back so many memories and "what ifs" that you'll continue to dwell whether you want to or not.
I love that you're so independent and looking after yourself first now! Focusing on you!
I felt so many different emotions watching this video. Sad, angry, empowered, and happy. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. I think it's so fucking wonderful that you're keeping yourself going and pushing through this tough time. You're such a goddamn inspiration. You're a beautiful person both inside and out. I seriously wish the best for you. I'm looking forward to you taking us through the next chapter of your life with you. Keep your chin up and stay strong girl. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Something that helped me when my dad passed away was FORCING myself to listen to insanely happy and upbeat music whenever I felt really low. I'd have bad spells of crying (and that's okay! Let yourself go there every once in a while) but I'd always turn on a feel good song and make myself listen to it all the way through. By the end, I didn't feel like crying anymore. Stay strong, girl
Had an awful breakup in May from my ex gf and I used these tips along the journey:
1. Take life day by day and don't think too far ahead.
2. Forgive the other person. You may have some sort of hatred towards them but you must forgive them to move on.
3. Going for long walks, runs or dedicating yourself to the gym def takes your mind off things. It really lit a fire in me to become really fit and that's where I am now!
4. Going off number 3, find a hobby or goal to work toward and dedicate yourself to it.
5. Spend time with friends and family. These people will support you no matter what.
6. Love yourself.
Time heals eventually. I still feel somewhat hurt a tiny bit from it all but you learn a lot about yourself through this life lesson. It really puts a chip on your shoulder, which has motivated me so much :-) You'll be fine, Nikki!
The reason why people love you so much is because you're so down to earth, relateable and inspiring! The thing that helped me most was surrounding myself with my girlfriends and just go out and have fun. Drink a little too much one night, eat icecream, kiss a random guy at a bar(lol) and just be goofy and fun and in a sense, free! Enjoy this time in your life! You're a babe and it's time to do you! xoxo
+Lindsay Christine Janoy cresva is more inspiring.
When my ex and I broke up I found that throwing myself into cooking really helped. Maybe it was a control thing but something about finding new recipes, following them, and ending up with yummy food was oddly comforting. I am so glad you included feeling pretty/worthwhile because post breakup I spent way too long being a slob and moping. It really did not help and I wish I would've snapped out of it sooner! Also, my favorite coping skill is going to the beach. I live in Florida so I'm lucky that's pretty easy to accomplish. Loved this video and look forward to part 2! 💕
My boyfriend and I broke up 2 weeks before Valentine's day.. what helped me the most was to be present. Recognize and fully acknowledge each feeling and give it it's proper attention. I used to pressure myself to "be strong" but burying, pushing aside, or distracting myself from feeling a particular feeling isn't healthy. So let each feeling have center stage and accept that it's OK to slide backwards with all the feels. Even sliding backwards is progressive for the soul if it's allowed.. that's what I'm learning and what's been helping me.
+Jenn Vee one of the best ways to be present is through meditation! Great advice :)
My heart aches for you! You deserve the best and one day you'll find that. Also i cannot stress how much we all appreciate your openness and honesty, so rare to find on youtube these days
my coping includes volunteer work. It gave me a beautiful perspective of how fortunate I am and how I needed to appreciate the things I had in my life.
Nikki! Seriously - Stop working out at the gym, stop hanging at his house and stop being his 'friend'. He will never miss you if you're always (or even sometimes) around. If you're around he has the best of both worlds. He gets to see you and be your 'friend' but doesn't have the emotional ties of being 'with you/ together'. You have to be strong and step away from him and everything he does. Anyway... wishing you the best!
For some reason I love nikki even more now. I love the idea of Nikki finding herself, Im so excited to see where this journey takes her. Im sure so much personal growth is going to happen and it makes me so excited to see! Go Nikki, go!!!
Your new town home is beautiful, you're so strong for sharing all of this. I just want to give you a big hug ❤️❤️❤️
Write. It's so therapeutic. I really recommend writing letters to him or to yourself. You'll never send them, but it's a way of getting it all out. It can be whatever you want: sad, angry, harsh, loving. It's YOUR letter. I have found that it really helps me through. I hope you try it out. Keep shining, Nikki.
Agreed! When the feelings are fresh or overwhelming, or you just want to work through them because you can't distract yourself any longer.... I write, usually not something for other person to read (but maybe) and I feel like writing always helps me find some perspective or resolution.
Man... I adore you with all my heart. You're an incredible soul. I'm sending all my love your way, you deserve the world.
Never ever heard of your channel until I had a really bad break-up. Glad I found it. Heartbreak is torture but it brings out the best in you once it empties you dry. It's one of those things that matures you like none other.
Going to church and spending time with family is always therapeutic
Nikki, I have always loved you from the first video I watched of yours (I then literally proceeded to binge watch all of your videos) but I am gaining a newfound love and respect for you from these past two videos. This video in particular really shows a different Nikki. Idk what it is, but something about you is different in a good no a great way. You seem calm and at peace with the situation and just ready to tackle the world. It is so inspiring to watch and I wish I could come up with a different word other than inspiring because that word is so cliche and overused but you are an inspiration and a beautiful, strong, and independent woman. Can't wait to see what this new chapter holds for you ❤️❤️
Put your energy in decorating your new place! I try to start DIY projects or I paint when I'm heartbroken. It takes time but in that time start saying "Yes" to travel opportunities and anything that will bring to new places and meeting new people. When I had my last breakup I was a mess but started getting more modeling opportunities. It wasn't a lot of work but the experience and traveling was enough for me to regain my confidence in myself and meet new people.
I just got broken up with a month or so ago and I completely can relate to what you are going through, Nikki, but you are strong and courageous and beautiful inside and out. Nothing can stop you from moving forward. I've learned that when I'm sad or starting to think about my ex, I just text one of my best friends or call them and I ask them how they are doing. Your friends are going to be there for you through it all so just take advantage of their presence. Surround yourself with positive people. I also try and journal daily. Writing helps me figure myself out and when you've finally moved on you'll be able to look back at all your entries and realize that while in the moment it was hard and terrible, it wasn't that way forever. Lots of love being sent your way.
Don't be afraid to cry in front of us shows how raw and real it is and how you're human too
Sleeping alone is the worst feeling, when you were so used to having the person you love next to you 😔 everyone has been there. Nights are the worst for sure, when going through a breakup. Just surround yourself with friends and family Nikki. Your gonna be just fine 👍🏼
This hit me so deep in the feels.. Its so true
So so so damn proud of you for putting all of this out there! 😘😘 so much love we are sending you Nikki!
this helped me: not to think the person is lost,some ppl compare it to a lost like someone died. what you do have in common is that, wherever you are, you're under the same sky.
I just wish you the best in life. You honestly deserve it! Keep fighting
"Don't let the heart break win. You're better than that." Means so much to me!!!
Hey Nikki I just wanna say I always thought you were down to earth and motivating but after this week my respect for you has risen and I love ya more keep doing what your doing and you will become stronger and go so far in life xx
+Kirstin Young I couldn't agree more! it's really nice to see her focusing on herself and still doing the things that make her happy
To cope with the breakup what I did was keep myself busy. Remember that idle hands keep the mind wondering. Keep yourself as busy as possible write down goals you wanna accomplish for you and that would make you happy. I wrote down daily, weekly, monthly and yearly goals and before I knew it I was fine. I also went to the gym a lot and spent a lot of time with friends and family because they brought so much joy and laughter. I feel like being surrounded by loved ones and just getting back to focusing on yourself, enjoying life and taking everything one step at a time helped a lot. The more your focus on your past the more likely you are to not focus on your future. You're a beautiful woman and I've been following you for so long Nikki everything will be okay.
Nikki's track and field form tho...spints looking good michelle ;)
agreed
Askhodgetwins for advice
👌👌😂😂😂
Right! 😂😂😂 Give her some tip
Lol he's going to ask to get some bbc and get cream pied ..
LMFAO
+Ben Sandoval (SandovalFitness) All she really needs is some REAL FUCKIN FOOD GOD DAMMIT
Never clicked a notification so fast in my life
I know the feeling. I even paused my tv show lol.
+aidanandres Same here i clicked so fast
Same here!!
When I feel stressed out of overwhelmed or sad I like to go to church, because it's easy to get caught up in your busy schedule and it's nice to here a message from God.
Today I went back to church for the first time in a few months and I actually cried because the message spoke right to my heart and made me feel good again.
ILY Nikki!
WE'RE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU NIKKI 💖
Nikki don't forget the recovery process is slow. Before getting it over, you need to get through it. There is a slight difference. I think you are trying to hurry things up, like you are avoiding feeling/expressing pain. You are trying to hard to feel better. Don't be so hard on yourself. The first step is to accept that is over, and you will probably need to think a lot about it, till you are done with it. Don't expect him to chance his mind in a future. Don't keep hopes. Let the sadness and anger flow. Cry as much as you need and talk as much as you want about it. The idea is not to get depressed. The intention is to assimilate the situation and the emotions that come with it. In order to move on, you first need to feel it so you can feel relief. Spend some days alone and some other days with your friends and family. Keep going to the gym. It is OK if you want to stay away from UA-cam or social media for a few days or weeks. Avoid contact with him for a while, you can be friends in a future, but not now! That will just make things harder for you. Once you feel better, try new things: eat something different, travel to other countries, learn a new sport or about something that calls your attention. Good luck (:
beth9015 True. Happiness and excitement are unfortunately fleeting. So if you keep chasing happiness you'll never be truly satisfied.
they'll get back together for sure.
Agree with u
Nah
+skeche I wouldn't if I was her for the good for both of them if God's planned to bring them back it will happen but don't try to force it
+S Shah god does not exist 666
I hope not. Nikki deserves the world. She's smart, funny, beautiful, and genuine AF. She deserves someone who will love her as much as she loves them.
I find the best way to cope with these kinds of emotions is writing your feelings out, which usually turns into poetry. You're amazing and such an inspiration. Thank you!
Nikki- I think this breakup may be a blessing in disguise for you. I have been following you for awhile and every now and then you talk about how you love to write and wanted to be a writer. I think this would be a perfect time for you to invest in your writing again. You have such a strong voice and I guarantee people would love to read what you write whether heartbreak related or not.
So weird seeing you in a video completely without CG, I like it. My gf used to tell me like "oh hey did you see Nikki's video the other day?" But now I'm like "BABE I SAW IT 12 SECONDS AFTER IT CAME OUT, GET ON MY LEVEL!"
Also the new apartment looks awesome, like one of those Manhattan-style lofts. I will now proceed to close UA-cam and hold back tears of envy.
Cool story bro
I'm not even going through a break up but thank you for just being so freaking positive in a really hard situation instead of crippling yourself. Podcasts help from keeping your mind off of things when you're realizing your sitting in self pity thoughts a little to long.
You are so strong girl! This is the best advice! One thing I love to do when I'm feeling sad is to write in a journal. I write out my feelings, some goals I want to achieve, places I want to visit in the world, anything that takes my mind away from the sadness! I hope this helps you!
rich piano should mate with nikki to confuse the break up..right babe?
Yep, that's the best possible scenario goddamnit!!!!
I CAN'T BREATHE
You have to shock the breakup, keep it guessing.
#Thebestpossiblescenariogodamnit.
yep
so much yes pedro so much yes
I don't think I've ever made a comment on your videos, but I just want to say I love you and I have been following you for a longggg time. I almost feel like I'm going through this breakup with you because I've been keeping up with your relationship for so long XD I know this sucks for you, but I'm proud of you for keeping your head up and coping in a positive way. It's inspiring how strong you are, and you inspire me as a woman, as I'm sure you do for all of the other women/young girls that watch your vlogs. Much love!
Talking to new people. Dealing with the emotions of the break up but also just getting around new people of the opposite sex can be refreshing. It doesn't take away from the history of that person but it can help you realize there is a whole world of people you will connect with out there. People who make you smile and care about you!
When my mom died working out was the best way for me to relieve stress and anxiety and sadness. Always felt better afterwards. Honestly, counseling helped as well - having someone to vent to that isn't your friend with a biased opinion is so helpful! You are strong, and beautiful and you're doing soso well!
I'm going through a horrible breakup at the minute as of yesterday, I watched this about a month ago when I thought everything was roses but I've gone back to it now hoping it's going to help! I'm trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel 😕 nothing more depressing! Maybe it's too raw atm to think positively I don't know! You have such a positive outlook on things! Thank you nikki X
Jasmine G hope you're okay now ♥️
1. Journal is key
2. Talk it out and say everything you feel with someone close like a family member
3. Meditation
TeamNIKKI we love you forever! As all your fans said, start your own gym clothing line...you have international fans who would love to rock your brand
Absolutely love this! I've been struggling for the past 6-8 months with the feelings I've had for someone I've been with for over 3 years. It's always scary to actually be on your own, but once you realize you're amazing just by yourself, without anyone, you can do anything. I usually cope by doing things that I love-- reading, writing, being outside, being with family, etc.
breaking up with someone after 8 years , who you work with almost everyday is extremely difficult. I feel bad for anyone who has gone through that. not easy to do at all
So proud of you my friend, you are beautiful inside and out and helping loads of people with this video! 💖
+CathBastien exactly
who are we talking about
i am a mess. My boyfriend just broke up with me in our college library. You are my biggest inspiration and I've felt so lonely because my friends are busy but your videos always help me. Thank you so much xoxo
Thank you !! it was so tough but i definitely learned a lot about myself and became happier !
How long did it take you to get over him?
Little is more comforting when experiencing something like this than having someone else who understands and is coping alongside you (even if it's across the country). Thank you for sharing this; you don't know how much you are helping others by being so transparent about your pain, and accepting it, but refusing to let it crush you. Sending you so much love and good vibes
Yes, losers like to be with losers. I on the other hand roll with Charlie Sheen, WINNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Always remember it's easier to let things go, simply because they are heavy. You can only control yourself, and your reactions - not others actions. Some day someone - the one - is going to treat you better than you ever imagined.
They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new
Dude
lmaooooo!
That's exactly what I said!!! Ha! It's true Nikki, plus it might spark some healthy jealousy and you might gain some extra newfound confidence and a little self esteem boost!
+Nietzsche Prime it revolting
Would probably not be the greatest idea. It could become a very destructive path. I've seen girls go there and it turned out to do more damage than healing. It often turns in to a way of boosting your self-esteem, but the high is gone just as fast.
It is much better to actually take some time to come to terms with the fact that it is actually over by yourself before you get out on the meat market again. This wasn't just some 1 month fling. This was a serious long-term relationship, it leaves traces.
You're glowing😭 you look amazing Nikki and you're so strong💜🙏
+Kathryn J (Littleandfit) Not as strong as the Sith Lord aka the human bean aka Janoy Cresva.
+Mike O'Tren lol
you are so fucking strong for being so open and vulnerable. you're going to help so many people to realize that nobody's life is perfect and really shitty shit happens to everyone. heartbreak is fucking hell but you're going to get through it and come out stronger and better than ever on the other side. i so admire you for this. you're a beautiful person
hang in there girl! we got your back!
I usually cope by going for a long drive somewhere by nature or a lake. Put the windows down and take a deep breath and relax.
You look extra beautiful in this you're glowing
I agree! She looks gorgeous
First of all Nikki I'm astounded with how you are handling this, all I can see is positive vibes shining through you! Any time I'm in a rough patch meditation, prayer, yoga, & JOURNALING helps me. Journaling I think is my biggest go to just because it's so freeing.
Great job on staying positive! 4 yrs ago I got out of a 8.5yr relationship. Long story, but I'll spare the details. Anyways I had to rebuild my self and life. The first thing I did was look at it as a new beginning and what I wanted to do for myself. I started my bucket list. I did a one yr and a 5 yr. It's fun to look back on the list and see things you have accomplish. The list helped me to stay focus and gave me something to look forward to.
One of my things I did was go skydiving. I was supposed to get married and since it didn't happen. I went skydiving on the date of wedding and over the venue. It was my symbolic way of letting everything go and trusting in God.
Not sure what your religious beliefs are, but if you do believe in God. Please remember he'll never give you more than you can handle and he gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers. It's just going to take time to heal. YOU GOT THIS :)
I lost my boyfriend to cancer in summer 2014 it was very hard but I survived it with focusing on myself! I spend a lot of time with my family because I felt that was good for me. I already have been working out, but I also had an eating disorder at the same time. I realized I have to work on myself and that's what I did - I concentrated on myself. Now I am happy again, I have someone amazing on my side and he accepts and loves me the way I am that's what I do to! I learned to love myself, love life and how important it is to do what makes me happy! So I totally agree with Nikki! The best way to go trough heartbreaks or any kind of hard time is to focus on yourself and on what makes YOU happy!
Love the video! I love it how you keep real and share your feelings! Keep it up!
Watched it when it first came out, but came back to it, because I'm dealing with my own heartbreak and need some Hot Mess Express advice 💕🍍 love you Nikki, thank you
That townhouse is BEAUTIFUL! Full of light and positivity! I feel like this will be the year of Nikki!! Focus on you and what makes you happy! You've got this! I create, I bake (GIVE 99% of it AWAY), draw, I've even written a ridiculous book that will never see the light of day. Just gotta get those raw emotions out, like you already are, and put them to good use. Also Gilmore Girls, binge watch it during cardio. You're going to get through this, and you're going to be better and stronger for it! Ramble done!
GO TEAM NIKKI!!!!!!!!!!!
Girl sometimes ya just gotta get up - And wash that man right outta your hair...,,lol
So Proud xx
1. I go to the gym
2. I go shopping
3. I go to meet up with my friends
4. I go to see my mum
5. Eat ice cream 😹
You have never looked so beautiful! 😊😊 Keep shining bright! Your a real inspiration.
When I have a heartbreak situation, meditation (in the sun) and writing help me a lot. I'll do yoga, breathe, reflect on how I feel, reflect on life in general, and then write down my feelings. It really helps to work them out and move forward!
Having a Mantra helped me a lot through a really tough patch... mine was;
Perfer et obdura, dolor hic tibi proderit olim. (Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you.)
Seems like if Niki takes this channel in the right direction, this break up will allow it to grow in a way it never could have in Christian's shadow.
+Rob Hunt But still nothing compared to Janoy Crestovinia
+Mike O'Tren it piss
I don't have any tips to add, recently got hit with the same exact thing and i'm still in phase one of not getting out of bed. crippling anxiety and paralyzing sadness. thank you for sharing with us, clearly some of us need the help also.
I'm sorry for you 😞
+Kelly Louise
+Kelly Louise Make sure you eat at least 8 meals a day...Come on!! do what ever it takes.
I really admire how strong you are being and how open you are to all of us.
You're amazing for making this video
For me, (I mean, I haven't had a heartbreak in a while but I have been in funks) it sounds silly but keeping with routine is key. Because it gives you a semblance of control when you realize only a very small part of your life has changed.
And cleaning. Oh my god cleaning has saved me from the weeps so many times. I just put on some awesome music (Billy Joel!) and clean my entire apartment. It makes me feel awesome.
This is more relatable for people compared to CGs materializes life. So if this series helps ppl keep doing it
you're so put together and intelligent Nikki. You're hard work does not go unnoticed babe and it is truly crazy how influential you are. I'm a 21 year old female college student and I've followed you from the beginning. you've been an enormous inspiration through extremely tough times in my life.
Don't ever change. I'm glad you know yourself well enough to do what is right for you
one of my coping mechanisms is to continue in my usual, daily routine. when i get sad about something, its easy for me to become extremely unproductive and just mope around all day. but i find that when i continue doing what i normally do throughout the day, it takes my mind off the situation
*Music* is *Medicine*! I laid in bed all those lonely nights blasting music through my earphones, and just singing/acting out any song that I listened to (quietly or silently), but with *passion*. It seems as though it made all the hurtfulness leave my body & mind, then allowed me to relax & go to sleep. Hope this helps! And just know everything will be okay. :)
cool story bro
This is helping me so much right now
This is so powerful!! Thank you so much for putting this out there. 💛 I'm not going through heartbreak in love but definitely in other aspects of my life and this helped so much to hear what you are doing to help. You're amazing! Keep it up! Xo
I`m not picking sides, but what CG probably doesn`t realize is that Nikki was a part of his brand, if we can call it that, or appeal. She was one of the reasons that made him what he is today.
I agree
I don't agree, CG is independent and people respect that
+G-Money she definetly attracted a lot of people to the brand as well
+G-Money She was the only thing that made him seem human. imo. now he just seems like a part of a corporate machine. boring
+SemuckiProductions he put in effort to launch all of his businesses, he always came across as business orientated and respected his friends, he still does. His hard work brought him success not going out with a good looking girl. You're only disliking him now because of this break up.
0:46
I thought my cat meowed but it was yours lol
AlbertsStuff wow hi
can you film you moving in to your new place??!!?!?!
hey girl.. i just got out of a 5 year relationship. I can really relate to these videos youre making! Thank you for being so vulnerable with us. I moved across the country alone after a break up and it has done so many amazing things for my life in the last year. Its good to know someone felt the same way that i felt when my heart was broken. Youre lucky you have good friends who are there to support you. Youre going to be great! You have an amazing life. Super jealous of your new place!! Things will fall into order when they need to. Took me a long time to realize that. Going through an experience like this is seriously life changing, but you really can discover how strong you are as a person and its honestly fulfilling to see how far youve come after such a devastating time in life. Love you Nikki!! love your videos! They are so helpful with my fitness journey :)