Let's Play Cop Simulator.exe (a game I made up)

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  • Опубліковано 4 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 846

  • @tommoore8341
    @tommoore8341 2 роки тому +4076

    Your suspicions were correct when you hypothesised people would be more distressed by you having eyebrows than not having them.

    • @LC-le9ew
      @LC-le9ew 2 роки тому +95

      I think the one on the right was trying to crawl away. 😂

    • @oldguy9051
      @oldguy9051 2 роки тому +37

      And that's /*exactly*/ why he put them on.

    • @snerls
      @snerls 2 роки тому +130

      Wait, didn't he-
      no, no that can't be right,
      he's always had-
      but...
      What have you done.

    • @γιώργοςγιόφτσος
      @γιώργοςγιόφτσος 2 роки тому +41

      @@snerls exactly my reaction

    • @trinacairns9509
      @trinacairns9509 2 роки тому +49

      I have to keep reminding myself to look at the rest of his face... look AWAY from the eyebr... NO! not to look at the other eyebrow! :-D

  • @dromankass8655
    @dromankass8655 2 роки тому +1213

    It was so often the way, Captain Vimes thought, crimes were solved by chance events; the footprints found under the window, the dog that barked in the night, the wind that blew leaves into a significant pattern, or a member of the right ethnicity being found within 5 miles of the crime scene and no alibi.
    - Extract from 'Men At Arms' by Terry Pratchett.

    • @AlbertaGeek
      @AlbertaGeek 2 роки тому +120

      Always upvote Pratchett. I still haven't started _Raising Steam,_ the last of his I have left to read. Because if I finish that one, then for me there will be no more new Pratchett novels. As long as there's one of his I haven't read yet, then the journey really isn't over. Maybe some day I'll start the book, but not today.

    • @nicolaim4275
      @nicolaim4275 2 роки тому +35

      @@AlbertaGeek You're not alone in that thought process. I started reading, but I never finished the book.

    • @jennys1983
      @jennys1983 2 роки тому +31

      @@AlbertaGeek I’m the same with The Shepherd’s Crown. I went to an event at Waterstones in Manchester when it was released, and Rob signed it … but I just can’t bring myself to read it. I haven’t been to any conventions since, either.

    • @LoveProWrestling
      @LoveProWrestling 2 роки тому +23

      I'm also holding The Shepherds Crown back to stave off the day when there is no new Pratchett to look forward to.

    • @BorgPrincess
      @BorgPrincess 2 роки тому +29

      I've read Raising Steam, but am holding back Shepherd's Crown for that exact reason. It does say something about an author when fans act like this, so they literally don't have to live in a world without any new books by him to read. ❤️

  • @alberteinstein1620
    @alberteinstein1620 2 роки тому +2366

    The real suspect has a shady background but has too much power to outright arrest? No access to vital proof or information? An homeless guy is being framed for the murder? Man, the new Ace Attorney sure looks promising!

    • @webbowser8834
      @webbowser8834 2 роки тому +59

      This really is just 1-5, isn't it?

    • @parsnipguy2986
      @parsnipguy2986 2 роки тому +33

      Don’t worry Al , he probably means he’s meant to arrest the sick homeless man for other reasons unrelated to the murder!

    • @octochan
      @octochan 2 роки тому +49

      I can't wait to see this character's breakdown animation

    • @somethingclever4297
      @somethingclever4297 2 роки тому +13

      @@octochan the chief or Hunter Knifeman?

    • @somethingclever4297
      @somethingclever4297 2 роки тому +68

      The name Hunter Knifeman probably would fit right in with ace attorney.

  • @nefariousyawn
    @nefariousyawn 2 роки тому +1719

    You put a lot of work into this one. I can tell because you brought out the good eyebrows for that extra production quality. 10/10 best cop simulator of 2022.

    • @DissociatedWomenIncorporated
      @DissociatedWomenIncorporated 2 роки тому +55

      Those are bullet proof eyebrows, they’re being worn for safety reasons.

    • @timopper5488
      @timopper5488 2 роки тому +6

      @@DissociatedWomenIncorporated
      We knew that.

    • @kashiichan
      @kashiichan 2 роки тому +7

      @@timopper5488 I didn't! I'm so glad this game includes the latest technologies; my simulated cop deserves only the best.

    • @geekdivaherself
      @geekdivaherself Рік тому

      Whaddya think: are they made of his own hair snippets or MS Paint?

  • @SingleTrack66
    @SingleTrack66 2 роки тому +640

    I remember the difficulty levels for this game were:-
    Easy - Canon
    Medium - Columbo
    Hard - Ironside
    Playing whilst navigating the Police Department in a wheelchair was so infuriating.
    In fact I never did figure out how to get back up the stairs from the interrogation basement.

    • @meganparrish807
      @meganparrish807 2 роки тому +30

      In Nightmare Mode you had to deal with zombies and solve the case.
      I died so many times but it was good fun!

    • @polycatmagic1236
      @polycatmagic1236 2 роки тому +31

      Yeah, see you had to finish a certain sequence of events before you went downstairs or else the elevator wouldn't work. I guess they never fixed that bug?

    • @brianedwards7142
      @brianedwards7142 2 роки тому +17

      You need the Quincy dlc.

    • @brainlock72
      @brainlock72 2 роки тому +13

      NYPD Blue: you get to be racist AND nekkid!

    • @bamleith3095
      @bamleith3095 2 роки тому +26

      hey on Columbo difficulty you can only see half the screen

  • @philipsalama8083
    @philipsalama8083 2 роки тому +305

    "He *will not* accept bribes."
    You know, this guy seems kind of alri-
    "...From Mexicans."

  • @hotelmario510
    @hotelmario510 2 роки тому +889

    "The rehab that rich people go to when they say something racist" made me laugh so hard I thought I was going to asphyxiate.

    • @lkeke35
      @lkeke35 2 роки тому +41

      That internet rehab where they disappear for a few weeks, then come back and just start saying racist things again, as if last time didn't happen!

    • @SpaceLanceFTW
      @SpaceLanceFTW 2 роки тому +8

      I thought he said "the rehab rich people go to *where* they say something racist"

    • @Wednesdaywoe1975
      @Wednesdaywoe1975 2 роки тому +37

      @@SpaceLanceFTW We call that Twitter.

    • @etsequentia6765
      @etsequentia6765 2 роки тому

      @@Wednesdaywoe1975 Twitter is where self-identified anti-racists gather to say the most racist things.

  • @dennyaaa
    @dennyaaa 2 роки тому +532

    "Do you want to serve the law, protect the innocent from evil and be a true inspiration for generations to come?"
    "OR DO YOU WANT TO BE A COP?"

    • @iambicpentakill971
      @iambicpentakill971 Рік тому +29

      "Do you want to serve the law, OR protect the innocent from evil and be a true inspiration for generations to come?"

    • @Sonny_McMacsson
      @Sonny_McMacsson Рік тому +6

      I want to protect capital and its owners.
      Edit: o->a

  • @NezumiWorks
    @NezumiWorks 2 роки тому +1936

    Finally, a game with no politics forced into it.

    • @rubywest5166
      @rubywest5166 2 роки тому +268

      Are you serious? No politics in this game? Did you not hear the guy talking about a guy called Mohammed?
      Now call him something nice and American like Maurice or Ronald or Ted, and now you got a nice, non-political game!

    • @viiranen
      @viiranen 2 роки тому +62

      @@rubywest5166 i hope you understand that the whole video itself is political. If you do and im reading you wrong here, i am sorry, sarcasm is hard to read through text and have a nice day

    • @viiranen
      @viiranen 2 роки тому +1

      Finally! A video game with zero politics that only has white men in positions of power! Truly we have been deprived of such a treat by the left for too long

    • @BillPeschel
      @BillPeschel 2 роки тому

      I'm sure the prominent politician's son named "Hunter" has absolutely nothing to do with real life.

    • @jonathankent1517
      @jonathankent1517 2 роки тому +92

      @@rubywest5166 I think they're being sarcastic.

  • @deborahcornell171
    @deborahcornell171 2 роки тому +498

    This man is such a pro at doing various accents, writing, defining & emphasizing eyebrows...all those wildly creative things.💙

    • @karenl6908
      @karenl6908 2 роки тому +5

      Well, they were invisible to begin with, so it was pretty easy to emphasize them!

    • @KyleJMitchell
      @KyleJMitchell 2 роки тому +4

      Note to self: To improve the quality and reach of your podcast, try emphasizing your eyebrows.

    • @deborahcornell171
      @deborahcornell171 2 роки тому +2

      @@KyleJMitchell
      Hey, can't hurt!😉

  • @Horatio787
    @Horatio787 2 роки тому +44

    When you realize Ace Attorney's lack of procedure wasn't an exaggeration as long as it's not happening in a court room.

    • @hallidayoawoaw
      @hallidayoawoaw 2 роки тому +1

      For real!
      Thank you very much for mentioning it, I couldn’t for the life of me remember the name!

  • @AtheistOrphan
    @AtheistOrphan 2 роки тому +222

    In the early nineties I was arrested, and for my second and final interview they actually gave me the ‘Good Cop/Bad Cop’ treatment, with the ‘Good Cop’ saying that he was my mate, and he only wanted to help, whilst the ‘Bad Cop’ actually threatened me with physical violence. I didn’t think such things existed in real life!

    • @laurelgardner
      @laurelgardner 2 роки тому +77

      They sure do! That's also how the US two party system works!

    • @mbryson2899
      @mbryson2899 2 роки тому +65

      I was sweated in interrogation three times. My better half only got it once.
      I detest interrogation rooms and their childish tactics. It's insulting, but worst of all they rearrange everything you say or don't say to build their rickety frame.
      When the actual culprit got cocky and bragged, basically confessed, they got him. No apologies to us, though, they were "just doing their job." Lazy mental midgets.

    • @AudieHolland
      @AudieHolland 2 роки тому

      @@laurelgardner This is how I imagine it works:
      Republican: Listen, we're gonna screw you over, like we always do. So vote for us!
      Democrat: No, of course we would never do that! We won't, ever, screw you over.
      Following elections: Both *screw the public over*
      Republican: Hey at least I'm honest

    • @grasstoucher52
      @grasstoucher52 2 роки тому +23

      That's the kind of thing that would make me paranoid that they were secretly expert manipulators merely PRETENDING to be incompetent hacks to lure me into a false sense of security. I know they're not, but still

    • @AtheistOrphan
      @AtheistOrphan 2 роки тому +19

      @@mbryson2899 - Thanks for the reply. I can empathise, my case went to Crown Court where I was unanimously acquitted on all charges. ✊👮🏻‍♂️

  • @drewsanvicente7137
    @drewsanvicente7137 2 роки тому +807

    I kinda wanted to see the detective choose the "elaborate philosophical rant" option instead of being a cop.

    • @quentra4304
      @quentra4304 2 роки тому +205

      Just play Disco Elysium

    • @piccalillipit9211
      @piccalillipit9211 2 роки тому +152

      " ACTUALLY, I HAVE RESERVATIONS ABOUT THE POLICES ROLE IN PROTECTING CAPITAL " I loved that...

    • @Toporshik
      @Toporshik 2 роки тому +20

      @@quentra4304 came down to write this exact response!

    • @hazukichanx408
      @hazukichanx408 2 роки тому +11

      @@piccalillipit9211 Glad I'm not the only one who's been thinking that!

    • @piccalillipit9211
      @piccalillipit9211 2 роки тому

      @@hazukichanx408 - I listened to a pod cast on policing in the middle ages in Britain and it TOTALLY changed my attitude to police and prison. It's all total bullsh!t.
      Police are there to protect rich people's property and the capitalist system and prisons DONT WORK. What about the kids and the wife of the guy you lock up for stealing - why do THEY get punished??? why would putting a guy in a room wiht lots of skilled criminals be a GOOD IDEA at any time???
      FYI - the pod cast was We're Not So Different by Luke Waters & Eleanor Janega - policing in medieval times. Its a great listen.

  • @oldsteempunk6728
    @oldsteempunk6728 2 роки тому +37

    I'm surprised detective McClunkey managed to find another job after failing to clean up Mos Eisley

  • @voldlifilm
    @voldlifilm 2 роки тому +132

    The "will not accept bribes. From Mexicans" was fantastic. Now that's the kind of moral ambiguity that make good cop shows.

  • @piccalillipit9211
    @piccalillipit9211 2 роки тому +85

    *ACTUALLY, I HAVE RESERVATIONS ABOUT THE POLICES ROLE IN PROTECTING CAPITAL*
    Total genius...!!!

  • @ireallyshouldntbehereltd7814
    @ireallyshouldntbehereltd7814 2 роки тому +147

    Ah, I see the dynamic, tenacious duo Joe Crime and Emilio Punishment have returned. Good work ABK. Good. Work.

    • @bdp8102
      @bdp8102 2 роки тому +13

      Not as good as Jim Far and Nancy Fromthemaddingcrowd, aka Crime Guys: Miami

    • @timopper5488
      @timopper5488 2 роки тому +1

      Yes, I really enjoyed the Joe & Emilio cop simulator.

    • @thedativecase9733
      @thedativecase9733 2 роки тому +2

      I'd forgotten about Emilio Punishment! What a cop!

    • @thedativecase9733
      @thedativecase9733 2 роки тому +1

      @@bdp8102 Yes the swing of Nancy's beautiful hair. Unforgettable.

  • @missaeon
    @missaeon 2 роки тому +87

    I've always thought you do a great American accent, but now I see you also have a grip on the foundations of our policing

  • @DeclanMBrennan
    @DeclanMBrennan 2 роки тому +67

    Best ginger cop in the business. 👏👏
    Why don't we all have fun with other possible options ?:
    (1) Trust your gut
    (2) Gather actual evidence
    (1) Wait for lawyer to arrive and ensure the suspect knows his rights
    (2) Point out all the dangerous sharp corners in the interview room.

    • @ethelredhardrede1838
      @ethelredhardrede1838 2 роки тому +10

      Officer Sean trusted his gut and now he mainlines Pepto Bismal.

    • @DeclanMBrennan
      @DeclanMBrennan 2 роки тому +1

      @@ethelredhardrede1838 lol

    • @nicholasfortier2660
      @nicholasfortier2660 Рік тому +1

      (1) Knock on the door
      (2) Kick the door open and shoot anything that moves
      *What do you yell before doing this?*
      (1) "Police!"
      (2) "Pizza!"

  • @namethathasntbeentakenyetm3682
    @namethathasntbeentakenyetm3682 2 роки тому +19

    I too, have reservations about the police's role in protecting the interests of capital.

  • @ComicalRealm
    @ComicalRealm 2 роки тому +621

    "A good cop can't sleep at night because he's missing a piece of the puzzle. And a bad cop can't sleep because his conscience won't let him" - Chief Clarence "Clancy" Wiggum

    • @mzmadmike
      @mzmadmike 2 роки тому +98

      Bad cops don't have consciences.

    • @chronicthingz
      @chronicthingz 2 роки тому +71

      "and the dirty cop can't sleep because he is the missing piece of that puzzle"
      -master oogway

    • @amityislandchum
      @amityislandchum 2 роки тому +2

      @@mzmadmike That's a common misconception. The fact is that no cops have consciences.

    • @biggestastiest
      @biggestastiest 2 роки тому +42

      like any cop has a conscience. lol

    • @dillasoul2228
      @dillasoul2228 2 роки тому

      I thought it was because the chief was so far up their asses, that anytime they tried to fall asleep they can hear him screaming from inside their chest cavity

  • @dion789
    @dion789 2 роки тому +73

    This detective has an even fiercer moustache than the one in Ryan's universe, so I guess he must be the highest ranking of all.

    • @bakethehake
      @bakethehake 2 роки тому +24

      Understanding UA-cam comments that don't explain context is super easy, barely an inconvenience.

    • @bobbyfeet2240
      @bobbyfeet2240 2 роки тому +9

      Unexplained references are TIGHT.

  • @YuiWrong
    @YuiWrong 2 роки тому +126

    I appreciate you gluing sausage links to your eyebrows for this video. Real dedication to the craft

    • @Emiliapocalypse
      @Emiliapocalypse 2 роки тому +2

      Is that what they are?? My phone screen is cracked and I can’t see what they are

    • @monkeytennis7477
      @monkeytennis7477 2 роки тому

      That's exactly what I thought also! They are rather meat-like in appearance.

  • @Songbearer
    @Songbearer 2 роки тому +89

    Disco Elysium's writing went downhill after Ubisoft bought out ZAUM

    • @wilsan806
      @wilsan806 2 роки тому +16

      The pale represents EA

    • @zanite8650
      @zanite8650 2 роки тому

      Ooh, Disco Elysium/ Arcane crossover. I'd love to see what Aspects say, Jinx has.

    • @Whitecroc
      @Whitecroc 2 роки тому +2

      @@zanite8650 Hand/Eye Coordination, Inland Empire, Interfacing and Half-Light. Especially Half-Light. That's about it.

    • @chrisf1600
      @chrisf1600 2 роки тому +3

      Gotta admit, the part where the Insulindian Phasmid emerged from under the desk was awesome

    • @MCVessels
      @MCVessels 2 роки тому +1

      @@chrisf1600 C'mon, everybody knows those don't really exist.

  • @coffeeguyd
    @coffeeguyd 2 роки тому +71

    As someone who used to be in law enforcement and has since quit the field entirely after finding themselves in numerous similar situations, this is hilariously-yet-nauseatingly accurate!

    • @McFlingleson
      @McFlingleson Рік тому +9

      As someone who used to want to be a cop, and tried to be one, this comment makes me really glad that didn't work out.

    • @aturchomicz821
      @aturchomicz821 10 місяців тому +1

      Good ending?🥺

  • @elwoodwharton8173
    @elwoodwharton8173 2 роки тому +75

    Eyebrows on point ☝️

    • @GalinaEv
      @GalinaEv 2 роки тому

      Need more like >:

  • @thegnarledpirate9198
    @thegnarledpirate9198 2 роки тому +51

    His fake eyebrows are a symbol of power and showcase his superiority over us.

  • @rosskwolfe
    @rosskwolfe 2 роки тому +83

    I would be willing to pay $20 US for this to be made into an actual game that lasts at least 5 minutes.

    • @AlbertaGeek
      @AlbertaGeek 2 роки тому +13

      $20 Canadian and every path ends in an apology.

    • @xanthman7528
      @xanthman7528 2 роки тому +4

      disco elysium sort of fits the bill

    • @suneenough
      @suneenough 2 роки тому +5

      "This is the Police" and Disco Elysium both hit some key notes

  • @Hugh_Jas
    @Hugh_Jas 2 роки тому +46

    I can't tell if the eyebrows are holding you out of the uncanny valley or pushing you into it... in other words, they're perfect!

  • @ApickleWithAm4
    @ApickleWithAm4 2 роки тому +32

    I also have reservations about the police’s role in protection of capital

    • @MossyMozart
      @MossyMozart 2 роки тому

      PhrygianLion - I f you are talking about the Capitol Building, the police were the only ones trying to protect it.

    • @crow-jane
      @crow-jane 2 роки тому +10

      @@MossyMozart Capital, with an A, is used to refer to property and resources of monetary value. Another way of phrasing the same sentiment might be, “The cops exist solely to protect property”. Hope that clears things up for you.

    • @flibberfrogman5508
      @flibberfrogman5508 2 роки тому

      @@crow-jane capital with an A is also used for capital as in capital city in the rest of the world. I don't know why the US decided to spell it with an O.

    • @JZsBFF
      @JZsBFF 8 місяців тому +1

      Okay, the programmer couldn't spell but that doesn't matter since cops can't read.

  • @RadishTheFool
    @RadishTheFool 2 роки тому +207

    I so appreciate you calling out 'not a team player' and especially 'not a good fit' for what they really mean. I can't believe 'they're just not like us you know' is still something companies/organizations can and will say out loud.

    • @ImperativeGames
      @ImperativeGames 2 роки тому +12

      But he is still a cop - because he won't touch a son of politician ^^

    • @LordVader1094
      @LordVader1094 Рік тому +4

      Still a cop tho lol

  • @mdog86
    @mdog86 2 роки тому +7

    Alasdair with eyebrows is so unsettling lmao, definitely wasn't expecting that so it caught me off guard haha

  • @Thomas-lu6gd
    @Thomas-lu6gd 2 роки тому +15

    “Detective, am I gonna have to come over there and alienate you from your species-being? ‘Cos if you don’t get in line right this second you’re gonna go from false consciousness to unconsciousness.”

  • @RelativelyBest
    @RelativelyBest 2 роки тому +29

    It couldn't be Hunter Knifeman, he has several alibis: He's white, popular, his family is rich and his dad is a politician. You ask any of the right people and they'll tell you he couldn't possibly be the killer.

  • @SebastianGrimthwayte
    @SebastianGrimthwayte 2 роки тому +74

    Laugh.
    Realize how on-point this is.
    Cry.

  • @SheeplessNW6
    @SheeplessNW6 2 роки тому +9

    ACAB - by which, of course, I mean Alasdair Cares About Beards

  • @interestingusername306
    @interestingusername306 2 роки тому +15

    Oh god he's probably going to poison that homeless man with "home made apple schnaps".

    • @KittyKatty999
      @KittyKatty999 Рік тому

      Ah, the game with the dreaded "Salt Arc" XD

  • @potentiallyunfunnyguy9716
    @potentiallyunfunnyguy9716 2 роки тому +10

    Man, Police Quest's remaster sure seems a lot more... topical, than I remember.

  • @kakosynapanthma3300
    @kakosynapanthma3300 2 роки тому +61

    I swear you are such a breath of fresh air in the worldwide comedy scene

  • @Vamilator7165
    @Vamilator7165 2 роки тому +7

    Hey it's like that mission in L.A. Noire where your boss tells you he's got your back no matter who you point the finger at, then when you accuse the family father instead of a bum, he chews your ass up like cheap gum

  • @cheegrysomit
    @cheegrysomit 2 роки тому +7

    i love how you thought "no, this character needs eyebrows"

  • @LeRoiEnJaune
    @LeRoiEnJaune 2 роки тому +13

    "Arrest a homeless man with mental problems?" What is this, Disco Elysium?

    • @ben_dover33
      @ben_dover33 2 роки тому +4

      Or L.A Noire, there's an actual mission where you pin the murder of a white woman on a mentally unstable homeless dude.

    • @LeRoiEnJaune
      @LeRoiEnJaune 2 роки тому

      @@ben_dover33 Or that one with Matt Parkman where you can pin it on the creepy pederast.

    • @MCVessels
      @MCVessels 2 роки тому +3

      Detective, you know you can't pay for your hotel room by charging yourself with crimes and having the department bail you out. That's not how this works.

  • @Geskipt
    @Geskipt 2 роки тому +39

    'Mohammed... not a team player.' Big oof, great comedy!

    • @cometmoon4485
      @cometmoon4485 2 роки тому +2

      I don't get that line. Is this some kind of reference?

    • @octochan
      @octochan 2 роки тому +18

      @@cometmoon4485 It's how organizations justify letting go of people who are visible minorities or any other marginalized group when there isn't a good reason. These people are 'not a team player', they're 'not fitting in' - because all the people in the majority group treat them differently or make them feel unwelcome. But the organization has plausible deniability that they're not discriminating when they do this.

    • @sean668
      @sean668 2 роки тому

      @@cometmoon4485 It's an excuse to keep the non-white people out

  • @Emiliapocalypse
    @Emiliapocalypse 2 роки тому +21

    Who needs an interrogation when you can just let your eyebrows do the talking

  • @flurglhinge3051
    @flurglhinge3051 2 роки тому +24

    I'm so glad that you feel comfortable enough with your community to stop shaving your eyebrows

  • @mikehoncho8004
    @mikehoncho8004 2 роки тому +25

    That the detective is a rookie paired with a grizzled veteran who is about to retire AND there are jurisdictional entanglements involving the feds AND that the detective's father and grandfather were cops that no one or everyone cared for AND that the detective was recently schooled in the latest technology which has been resisted by the department must be understood.

    • @johnvanek9514
      @johnvanek9514 2 роки тому

      What???

    • @Resi1ience
      @Resi1ience Рік тому +2

      @@johnvanek9514 I'm trying to decipher this one, too.
      1: The detective is a rookie.
      2: He's paired with a grizzled veteran.
      3: The veteran is about to retire.
      4: There are jurisdictional entanglements involving the feds.
      This is where it gets confusing.
      5: The detective's father and grandfather were cops.
      6: Either no one or everyone cared for said cops.
      7: The detective was recently schooled in the latest technology.
      8: The department has long resisted these technologies.
      Conclusion: This must be understood.

  • @coffic
    @coffic Рік тому +2

    I love how the whole game is "cop attempting to do their job, being defeated by upper management"

  • @gudmundur-heimisson
    @gudmundur-heimisson 2 роки тому +7

    It’s nice to hear your native accent after so many videos with the weird British one.

  • @gavingleemonex3898
    @gavingleemonex3898 2 роки тому +3

    Get out there and arrest the guy who rejected your niece, stepdaughter, daughter, ex-wife, or current wife. Arrest him reeeeaaallll good.

  • @dogfat.
    @dogfat. 2 роки тому +8

    Dreamed a few weeks ago that I met Alisdair sitting at a picnic table by a merry-go-round and told him I'd "always thought he'd make a lovely witch."

    • @thedativecase9733
      @thedativecase9733 2 роки тому

      At least you didn't dream about his sperm donation like that Swedish person.

  • @noisepuppet
    @noisepuppet Рік тому +4

    Got caught watching this at work and the boss chopped my ass off and sold it as a floor model at a substantial discount

  • @StygianEmperor
    @StygianEmperor 2 роки тому +8

    GOD DAMMIT MACLUNKY YOU’RE A LOOSE BLASTER CANNON! Hand in your badge and your DT-12: You’re outta the Mos Eisley Security Agency!

  • @lennertvandyck5185
    @lennertvandyck5185 2 роки тому +30

    And all of a sudden, there were eyebrows. Perched above his beautiful eyes they stood, as if their ginger appearance would go unnoticed.

  • @madiantin
    @madiantin 2 роки тому +5

    Oh my gosh the eyebrows! The social commentary! I love it so much.

  • @jonathankent1517
    @jonathankent1517 2 роки тому +58

    Rich people go to rehab, poor people go to jail.

    • @lc9072
      @lc9072 2 роки тому

      As a Canadian, this simply isn't true here. The rich go to rehab, get out and continue being evil scumbags or regular people, the poor go to rehab 12 times, are given a house, go to jail go to rehab another 12 times, go to a shelter, go to the street where they have a nurse check up on them every day and give them meds and methadone, get another house, go to rehab another 4 times, go to jail, and then finally die tragically because nobody ever though to just put them in a mental institution because "Der fweedumb, dey gotta have freedumb" even tho that just hurts others and themselves. Im Canada we dont have non mentally ill homeless people, most mentally ill are on disability or in shelters, street residents are 99% the most severely unstable people. they need institutioms where they can be fed and medicated and live with dignity. Sincerely , someone who's actually worked on the streets with homeless people and in clinics with the addicted. We need mental institutions, it's disgusting that we prioritize peoples freedom over living safely and with dignity, and if you ask street people, most are are ther execute they simply don't want to live by shelter rules, which are by and large extremely minimal. They simply need to be cared for mentally and physically in an institution.

  • @BertoxolusThePuzzled
    @BertoxolusThePuzzled 2 роки тому +9

    I love how it starts as a parody but becomes a satire. Bravo good sir, bravo

  • @nathangamble125
    @nathangamble125 2 роки тому +6

    It's basically Police Quest!
    Those were cool games. Police Quest II had a great intro as well (it was one of the first PC games to use MIDI and FM synthesis).

  • @veritasreigns
    @veritasreigns 2 роки тому +561

    Timely and sensitive satire. Terry Pratchett would be proud. (Also the eyebrows are kinda weird, are they like specially made?)

    • @MossyMozart
      @MossyMozart 2 роки тому +139

      @veritasreigns - The brows are available at the Cop Macho Shop and Donut Emporium over on 5th & Baloney.

    • @ABeckettKing
      @ABeckettKing  2 роки тому +625

      I love that you think it's possible to buy ginger eyebrows off the shelf.

    • @Imurai
      @Imurai 2 роки тому +39

      @@ABeckettKing well, you are much more likely to buy them than say, the Mexicans.

    • @buttsufancypantsu1644
      @buttsufancypantsu1644 2 роки тому +39

      @@ABeckettKing Could be that they came from a homeless man who has mane-tal problems

    • @TheZetaKai
      @TheZetaKai 2 роки тому +17

      @@ABeckettKing An underserved market, to be sure.

  • @cmay7429
    @cmay7429 2 роки тому +12

    EEEEEEK!. Can we have another interactive murder mystery with this?! Can we?! CAN WE?!!!!!!!!!!
    Also, can't put my finger on it, but your forehead really looks great in this vid.

  • @harrygreenfeld4964
    @harrygreenfeld4964 2 роки тому +5

    I'm not sure you're given enough credit for how dark and satirical you can be. This was genius.

  • @heyitsmikegaming
    @heyitsmikegaming 2 роки тому +11

    The real suspect was the friendships we made along the way

    • @MCVessels
      @MCVessels 2 роки тому +2

      Thank God there was a homeless guy to pin it on.

  • @Simon_Nonymous
    @Simon_Nonymous 2 роки тому +27

    As an ex UK cop, I can only grimace at how close to the truth this is.

  • @CaptWesStarwind
    @CaptWesStarwind 2 роки тому +9

    When you realize that the entire plot of the drug ring being uncovered in The French Connection stems from Gene Hackman's character being a racist.

  • @Standub
    @Standub 2 роки тому +2

    This is hilarious, as usual, and it's also interesting to breakdown the elements.
    On the surface it's a cop game/movie parody, as we go deeper it becomes a relevant social commentary on inequality, corruption, racism and police brutality.
    In majority of ABK sketches, the characters have names, distinct personalities, and the story keeps being consistent no matter how absurd things get, such attention to worldbuilding is admirable.
    Compare the plot of rich mayor's son Hunter Knifeman, and knife as murder weapon, combined with district attorney shutting down the case and chief of police being complicit while admitting that entire department is incompetent - with many trials and incidents of recent years and past decades where there's obvious evidence that's being dismissed for political reasons, power of personal connections and big money.
    Obligatory - the eyebrows are cherry on the top!

  • @sygmarvexarion7891
    @sygmarvexarion7891 Рік тому +4

    Forgot to add "The mayor is breething down my neck."

  • @brick6347
    @brick6347 2 роки тому +2

    I watched at 240p with my phone on the other side of the room for the authentic MegaCD interactive movie vibe.

  • @theobrominator
    @theobrominator 2 роки тому +5

    At first I was hoping it’d be a parody of “haunted” games with lore about children in a mental facility, but those eyebrows are way more haunting than that 😫

  • @hanklestank
    @hanklestank 2 роки тому +2

    Alasdair Beckett-King has always had eyebrows, thick, voluptuous red eyebrows, and any rumors to the contrary are vicious lies, started by Big Eyebrow.

  • @gemmareid7929
    @gemmareid7929 2 роки тому +1

    Only on the third watch did I spot the 'v 1.3.12' gag, masterfully done

  • @RegretfulDeadMan
    @RegretfulDeadMan 2 роки тому +28

    There's going to be a DLC that's set in America, although it's just a first person shooter.

    • @dfrag3603
      @dfrag3603 2 роки тому +12

      Don't believe this guy -- the trailers are all guns and action, but there's a game-breaking bug in the actual DLC that locks your controls out once you start any scenario. Spent 40 minutes looking at a cutscene of my guy just standing around.

    • @hughcaldwell1034
      @hughcaldwell1034 2 роки тому +5

      @@dfrag3603 This made me laugh as hard as the video itself.

  • @DanteCorwyn
    @DanteCorwyn 2 роки тому +9

    Did say the same thing on Twitter, but I've started playing Disco Elysium and I'm waiting for this conversation to happen.
    If you made this into a full blown game, I'd buy it.

  • @ReezeGoingSenseless
    @ReezeGoingSenseless 2 роки тому +2

    I really appreciate the ginger Eyebrows to accentuate...the Eyebrows, on...the Ginger.Well done.

  • @Germania9
    @Germania9 2 роки тому +7

    This Alasdair lad is like the Weird Al of the 2020s

    • @ABeckettKing
      @ABeckettKing  2 роки тому +13

      Weird Al is still alive, but thank you?

    • @octochan
      @octochan 2 роки тому

      Imagine what a collab could look like!

  • @Fridge_Fiend
    @Fridge_Fiend Рік тому +3

    Wow I had no idea ABK was so into cops, he got this super accurate

  • @theintern2960
    @theintern2960 2 роки тому +2

    "Planting evidence? Now you're thinking with that flawless, un-metaphored ass."

  • @YourCapyFrenBigly_3DPipes1999
    @YourCapyFrenBigly_3DPipes1999 2 роки тому +6

    Had no idea you were so based and aware, ABK.
    That'll be 10 gold stars to you.
    Here we go-
    ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
    There!
    You deserve them.

  • @jjju3
    @jjju3 2 роки тому +4

    by god, they've un-paganda'd the copaganda genre

  • @BirthquakeRecords
    @BirthquakeRecords 2 роки тому +16

    This rules. The immersion is SO DEEP. It’s like I’m actually a cop! **shudders**

  • @Biodeamon
    @Biodeamon 2 місяці тому

    I love that pause at the mohammad joke like determining whether or not to make a spicy joke

  • @noaccount4
    @noaccount4 2 роки тому +6

    If you pick none of the options and do nothing for 5 minutes your boss commends you for doing a good job and you get a promotion

  • @neenajaydon9641
    @neenajaydon9641 2 роки тому +9

    I didn’t realize I wanted ABK and Jesse Cox to make an FMV together, but here we are

  • @Cancun771
    @Cancun771 2 роки тому +7

    Inching ever closer to political satire, I see.
    If ever so slowly.
    Good, good.

  • @erikcarlsson2518
    @erikcarlsson2518 2 роки тому +4

    I'm disturbed by the space in the filename.. But that's a nice Hunter reference you got there, would be a shame if something happened to it.

  • @greenhowie
    @greenhowie 2 роки тому +2

    David Cage is shaking with fear at this new auteur game designer

  • @alzahir
    @alzahir 2 роки тому +5

    So that's how you get the *good ending*!! Thank you, mate! 💜

  • @MrBigCookieCrumble
    @MrBigCookieCrumble 2 роки тому +4

    "I'm gonna use my _Good_ eyebrows for this one!" - ABK

    • @nicholasvinen
      @nicholasvinen 2 роки тому +2

      Those eyebrows have been in his family for 150 years. His great grandfather wore them into battle.

  • @shanesullivan460
    @shanesullivan460 2 роки тому +2

    WHOA, this dude is doing for eyebrows what Ryan George did for mustaches!

  • @jamesshillinglaw6884
    @jamesshillinglaw6884 2 роки тому +21

    4/10 No jokes about donuts.

  • @catfish552
    @catfish552 2 роки тому +8

    ABK going straight for the throat.

  • @joshuacr
    @joshuacr 2 роки тому +1

    Let's play Fooly Cooly, the cop investigation version.
    God those eyebrows are horribly perfect.

  • @hannahpumpkins4359
    @hannahpumpkins4359 Рік тому

    LMAO! I live in Chicago and your depiction and accent are spot on for the Windy City!

  • @KeithFraser82
    @KeithFraser82 Рік тому +4

    Press X to get paid to look the other way.

  • @troodon1096
    @troodon1096 Рік тому

    This reminds me of several of these kind of games where you have an illusion of choice, where no answer is the right answer, or the plot plays out the same regardless of what you choose.

  • @janicepepper4382
    @janicepepper4382 2 роки тому +1

    He does bits about not having eyebrows in his standup. Funny stuff!

  • @stranglewankhitman4936
    @stranglewankhitman4936 2 роки тому +1

    God I miss '90s FMV games. Though they seem to be having a resurgence lately, this is very much like the old ones I remember :D

  • @kjamison5951
    @kjamison5951 2 роки тому

    This was a bit too highbrow for me … darn spell-checker… there was a bit too much eyebrow for me…
    Cracking sir, cracking! Thank you very much! More please!

  • @ShakeyBox
    @ShakeyBox 2 роки тому +3

    Thank you again for your contributions to reality.

  • @geekcat7211
    @geekcat7211 2 роки тому +1

    You, sir, never fail to entertain. Thank you.

  • @A_Toastonawhiteplate
    @A_Toastonawhiteplate 2 роки тому +6

    The real suspects are the friends we made along the way

  • @richbuilds_com
    @richbuilds_com 2 роки тому +65

    I now feel fully trained to be an American Cop. Where do I get my gun!

    • @iambicpentakill971
      @iambicpentakill971 2 роки тому +49

      Anywhere you want, really.

    • @wbbartlett
      @wbbartlett 2 роки тому +15

      Walmart

    • @tyrant-den884
      @tyrant-den884 2 роки тому +3

      nah, mate, you need to watch your series of videos about the seual pleasure you will feel from killing (this is a thing) first.

    • @grasstoucher52
      @grasstoucher52 2 роки тому +5

      Hallway vending machine, every floor

    • @hughcaldwell1034
      @hughcaldwell1034 2 роки тому +7

      One in every six packets of Cornflakes.