Thank you so much to Aura for making this video possible! To support finding peace and improve your mental wellbeing, get started with Aura today for free. The first 500 people to use my link will also get 25% off + free trial to the Aura membership: www.aurahealth.io/jasmyne - Jasmyne 🩷
How to solve: 1. acknowledge you have a problem 2. delete social media 3. acknowledge potential romantizicing 4. dont need to make your entire life about enterianing men to find love 5. revaluate the quality of your life without male attention 6. nurture your relationship with God. 7. nurture platonic relationships 8. take control over your confidence
Seek God first. Marriage is divine. I wanted to get married at 18. I'm now engaged at 48 to the most amazing woman I've ever met, a divine blessing. I wasted years as a playboy now I'm a Christian God blessed me.
Psalm 118:8, 9 "It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man. It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in princes"🙏🏼💕
I actually really dislike being hit on. Being stared/gawked at is annoying/creepy after a while. It's so important to love yourself (not narcissism) and have confidence in your identity especially in Christ. Thanks for this. 💗
good to know. never hit on a woman got it. but then don't ever expect for someone like me to pay attention to you either. some women are so clingy when they feel you have something they don't but the question is would they like you if you didn't. other women will be mean to you get others to turn against you and talk both behind your back and to your face. but when you kind of ignore that they will be angry that you are not as hurt by it as they would like. I honestly wish I wouldn't be sexually attracted to women or (or anyone else for that matter) to me only good thing about testosterone is strength. but that strength comes with a price. but you are right about one thing it is important to love yourself. something that people who actually suck know better than those who don't so it is important to realize one's own worth especially if you are surrounded by assholes be it men or women
@@bartangel4867 jeez Louise dude, they struck a cord with you… just because some women don’t like being hit on doesn’t mean all women don’t either. Most men just don’t know how to take rejection or read body language. If she doesn’t seem into it say “well hey have a great day” and walk away. Don’t keep thinking you’ll convince them.
I wish men would put as much thought into dating as we did. They will gas up women left and right and then once they get her, they just change their mind on a whim. It was never love, they were just horny or bored or lonely, or all of them. And I hate the damage it does to women who just want to feel loved and safe.
I think women long for safety because the world can be a more dangerous and hostile place if you're a woman, especially if you're going around and being single and still trying to have fun and enjoy your life. So we seek out relationships in the hope they will give us security and that makes us feel more insecure, because men don't experience that same hostility when they go out into the world alone and assert themselves. If women focused on making and saving money, and accepting and being accepted by other women irrespective of male validation, we would start to feel more at ease and we wouldn't feel the same type of longing or even desperation in our relationships.
But like she said we have to actually care about the men that we interact with (brothers in Christ, right?) and not just be in it for ourselves and seeking comfort, security or validation.
True...for me especially as an introverted woman, this is the biggest fear of mine when it comes to relationships. Hence why I regard true masculinity and courtmanship very highly, but it's very rare.
@@frankturner316I completely agree, as a guy, I’m definitely trying to live my own life, and not seek validation. I also try to be respectful of women without being creepy. Sometimes I would say it’s pretty difficult because I tend to overthink things a lot. So I don’t know if I am coming off as creepy or not. I would say as a guy who’s trying to be a solid dude it’s hard when you have “nice guys”, and overly aggressive dudes. TBH I’m at the point of just being nice to women, and not asking them out unless they make a clear message to me that they are interested.
OMG! The wanting male attention to replace your father's attention was real. When I realized I wasn't looking for that type of attention until after my father passed away, such a game changer!
Diagnosis Idolize male attention: 1. "I wonder if he thinks im pretty" 2. want attention of men you're not attracted to 3. more social when men are present 4. poor boundaries with men 5. have sex and get into relationships quickly/ use sex as levarage to keep men interested 6. hard time rejecting men 7. tailor appearance to what uill be appealing to men 8. perosnality changes based on the guy your'e talking to 9. directionless without make attention/approval 10. improve yourself only to be more attracrive to men 11. get easily attached 12. become more alert when men are around 13. don't have quailty relationship with father 14. desire male attention even when marrried or in a relationship 15. struggle with your faith 7/15 = idolize men
I can take a compliment or two but after that it just becomes uncomfortable and creepy. Be yourself and stay prayerful. In time, you will find/be found by the right one.
Thank you so much for this video. I realize i am "boy crazy" but i am not acting on it, i am not currently dating or avtively looking for a man, but in my mind idolizing relationship is very harmful and makes me very miserable. A useful resource on the topic is "Get Lost" by Dannah Gresh, is a book targeted to girls but the principles are true to any single woman. If anyone is interested in reading it with me, i'd love to!
I felt attacked for a second omg it’s not other men’s desire that I crave, I just struggle with needing my man’s attention 24/7. I’ve identified it stems from daddy issues and the fear of being someone not worth loving. I pray I find confidence and you have strength to get through the tough time you’re having. I know you’re strong!
You have such amazing, balanced takes. I feel like idolizing male attention is often perpetuated among trad influencers, so this is a breath of fresh air. Your hair also looks lovely by the way.
7am here and I really didnt like being called out this early in the morning...... I needed it though 😢 Thank you Jasmyne 💗 She's right. This IS life changing.
thank you Theodora I needed this at this time. Ive been working on myself finally for the first time. My mood always depends on the external things.. more so how a man treats me/ gives attention
The tip to delete social media really hit home. I definitely have a problem of idolization, but moreso with other women than men, I’ve noticed. I admit I am kind of jaded about men. I feel as if I have non-romantic limerence for this one particular influencer, and I guess I think of her as perfect because I don’t actually know her, and I never will. She’s everything I wish I could be, beautiful, rich, carefree, a traveller. And if I know I can never be that, I just waste my days being an observer of it, in envy and admiration.
I didn't delete social media, but I reduced usage. I haven't posted since 2022 or early 2023. I still scroll on occasion for recipe videos on food pages, wholesome family life videos, life updates of acquaintences, but I have time limits. If I take photos, I share directly with my family, bf, and close friends I regularly spend time with. Too much social media use can cause negative envious thoughts and attention seeking behaviors, constantly watching how many likes and comments you get (idolatry).
I'm not a Christian, but I love your channel and have followed you for ages now. I was always very soft and feminine, but I was hiding it because I felt scared and also compelled to behave in a more independent way due to societal values and upbringing. You have no idea how many times I've rewatched your videos. And also Teal Swan. I don't agree with everything she says, but she also taught me a lot. I'm currently realizing how much I'm struggling with this issue. Maybe it's because I had no parents since they abandoned me. Bullying, being naive, and being used by people broke me in so many ways that I hadn't even perceived. I think women and men relate to a lot in this video. I do believe in something, in Gods, in the Source, and ever since I connected and talk to Source every day, many things have changed in my life. It gives me a sense of peace and being loved. So yes people it does help!!♡ I'm going to write down every single question you said and ponder about it. ❤ thank you... Really... Thank you so much Jasmyne. You bring light to his 🌎.
This video is incredible and what I needed. I am a model and I grew up being seen as my appearance. No one really knew me so I always took so much validation from my external features. But that never lead to true confidence, some time ago I started praising myself as how a parent would have done for different things which helped me grow in confidence. But one major thing is I get anxiety being around a lot of people, and how I would calm myself is by controlling my appearance. I’ve since started wanting something more than that. A true confidence that is more than what’s on the outside. Something that never fades. I love this video so much and I started having a lot of these questions recently so this video came in perfect timing.
This came at such a perfect time for me. I do struggle with low self esteem and i always chase after attention and validation from certain men, im doing it at the moment with someone. Its something that i need healing from my Heavenly Father 🙏
I needed this!!! Thank you! Also, fellow Orthodox sister here ❤☦️ It is so nice to have found a femininity page with a woman who is Orthodox like myself
Honestly one of your best videos! So much of this advice can be applied to anyone struggling with idolatry of any kind. I love that you advise women to build competency in something but not for the sake of attracting external validation. I know that's a tough one for me.
she made a good point. sometimes we as women crave the attention of bad boys because they are the ones who are more masculine, assertive in what they want and protective
I always thought there was something wrong with me because I like having crushes, but when I find out guys like me, I lose interest (if I had any) or I just start getting annoyed with them. I had no idea there was a name for this, limerence, thank you so much for helping me understand this!
I appreciate this content because i have been struggling and am struggling with this issues. I have realized that learning about healthy relationships and how they really do come out of nowhere makes it easier to not focus on that and know that good men aren’t rare. It s so easy to hate on (bad) men while wanting a good one which create a dichotomy and anxiety / stress about dating. You want so much to find the good one that you end up pushing this want and idealization on someone that just isn’t it. To see women talking about good love really ease the heart! So this would be my advice to anyone sharing my struggle!
I'm really glad I found a Christian perspective on this because as a Christian who dose seek male attention I've tried to fine answers and get a solution on my own. All the advice I got was vary pagen but this really put it into perspective.. it's not just a me thing it's a worldly thing and the answer is God...I got a vary good conviction out of this thank you sister in Christ ❤️✝️
This needs talked about so much! 💞 I wish I would have known this knowledge in my teenage years 😢 but I'm grateful I get into grow into my womanhood knowing it now! 💕
This was me since I was a young, young girl and into my early twenties. Just boy crazy. I believe it stemmed from having a mostly absent father and craving something missing. I sacrificed my purity, dignity, friendships, and opportunities for that idol. I’m almost thirty and still look back with sadness for the desperate girl I was. Jesus saved me from that idol and is helping me to forget the shame of my youth. Wonderful women on the internet, like yourself, have helped me heal the broken and sinful thoughts that led to that lifestyle. I am now married to the best man I’ve ever known (other than Jesus), but I still have to be on guard against this. This is important. Thank you for speaking on it ❤
Something to add that may help someone: God revealed to me one day about this topic that when we idolize male attention we make them objects, and because we dont see how they are a PERSON we can see them as disposable- hence why some of us may drop them the second they “aren’t fulfilling enough” or “just not who we thought they were”. Sometimes we may even make male attention our gods, because humans were made to serve God, when we dont have God in our life we will scavenge to find someone or something to fill those shoes. If nothing does, we feel directionless or numb. God told me that these kinds of idolizations, make them either disposable or self-disposing worthy, damages you and that person. See them for the beautiful images of God they are and how they are deserving of respect, because God is The Great Artisan.
This video came at the right time! I'm finally content with being in my single girl era because I know I have so much personal and spiritual growth to do for when I am ready for a relationship, which will only be for the purpose of marriage. But even still, when I was younger and less confident, never the girl guys liked in school, anytime I got male attention I ate it up and tho my self-esteem is better, I constantly worry what guys think of me in public like a persistent thought in the back of my mind. I try to ignore it, but it's so hard to get rid of but I'm still trying to get better every day so thank you for making this video
Thank you for bringing up Teal Swan's idea of 'containment'! When I saw her video about the topic, it resonated so deeply with me and was by far the best description of what I personally am looking for in a man -- but I also felt torn as a Christian woman since Teal Swan seems to espouse a very different worldview. But I'm glad to hear you also saw wisdom in it.
Thank you so much for this!!! I really needed this video! I've decided to take an extended break from dating, seeing as I started to feel more jaded about dating after constant rejection. I've found that my life feels a lot more peaceful and I have a lot less highs and lows when I don't focus on the things I don't have, ESPECIALLY male attention. I definitely need to pray more and it feels nice to appreciate time with my son, friends, and family.
Very well done video! This was the therapy session I needed. I've struggled with this all my life. The part about not getting enough attention from your father hit hard. My dad was present but not tuned in with us growing up. I never realized that would be enough to cause daddy issues. Also the way you described why we tend to desire the more aggressive/jerk type guys helped me perfectly understand why I always fall for the nate Jacobs and bryce walkers of the world 😭 it makes sense and I hate it. If I could give this video a million thumbs up, I would. Thank you so much, Jasmyne!
Wow this is one of the best videos on youtube about this topic it covers every aspect/corner!! Gave me goosebumps at some points, thank you for putting this together!! THANK YOU for talking about God, this was so much more relevant! GOD SAVED ME FROM WANTING MALE ATTENTION/ BEING BOY CRAZY!!!
Thank you so much for speaking on this! This feels so much like big sisterly advice from a big sister I never had! Without trauma dumping, I was just rejected really rudely by a man I put on a pedestal and I realized that I really dont have a good opinion of myself... Which is why I liked a slightly awful man in the first place... someone who would have never liked me in the first place. I find that I have this dissonance within myself that I really crave male attention, validation, and intimacy, but when I receive it im disgusted. Life is so interesting...
I don't wanna all the men around me attention i just want to be loved by one at least once in my life I've never felt that always felt unseen unloved and questioned myself if i am unlovable, every time i like someone he ends up liking one of my close friends
Omg this video was so good! Thank you for sharing. Thank you for finding the correct headspace to share this profound message even in the midst of your real life circumstances ❤ you're awesome!
The way I ran omw, glad to see u back , I hope all is well with you and thank you for taking the time to drop a video 😞☺️❤️ Okay let me go back to the video 😂😊
I haven't been on your channel for a while, and today I randomly had the thought to search it. This has been such an immense help. So many things that I knew already but was not acknowledging were addressed. The most significant of all was having God in the center of your life. When I look back at times when my priority was God, the inner peace I felt was incomparable to that of having male attention. It may not be the same level of excitement, the same hit of dopamine you get from having male attention, but its tranquility, proper security. You don't seek anyone's validation so deeply, let alone that of men, because you know there's something that is everlasting. Something that will give you a sense of stability that cannot be accomplished through any other means, as everything else is fleeting. Thank you so much for this, I hope you know how much benefit you have brought through the sharing of these wisdoms
Jasmyne, I am so glad you made this video. This is such a big problem for me and probably many others, and it isn’t spoken about enough. I’m not Christian but it is clear there is value in your words.
thank you. this really was life changing. I've been really struggling with all of this lately and about to blow up my life again because of it so this video came at the right time for me. I never comment on videos but I needed you to hear from someone whose life you touched how much you covered and how well you covered it with this topic. you're amazing, so wise and smart.
❤I’m so happy you decided to grace the world with yet another healing video. I just love your content! I for one am going through this journey. The more I focus on God and my mental wellbeing, the less anxious I become. Not idolizing my marriage causes me to be more attractive naturally. I now have the ability to choose if and when I want to share my peaceful energy. 😊 To just Be.. is the most rewarding gift of being a woman.
🎉🎉 Welcome back Sister. I missed you. I kept checking back and forth on your channel for new video. I was happy to have seen a notification today ❤. Cheers to more. God bless you . And you hair has grown longer ❤🎉
It is very refreshing to see videos of femininity that also talk about our relationship with God. If there is something I learned, it is that the most important thing is that we are his beloved daughters, so Jasmyne, thank you very much for this video, it is what I needed!
THE HAIR ! Gorgeous. But really this episode was so needed, growing up I had low self esteem and I also was very familiar with the “true love” thing that induced my want for male attention aswell, this was a needed episode that I believe was God answering my prayers
Thats why unassertive guys are so not the business , they fail to provide the male containment.. and i thought i was delusional all this while .. thanks for verbalizing my thoughts
I am not a Christian so therefore I do not agree with a few points in this video but this honestly really opened my eyes. This is something I have struggled with for most of highschool, and thanks to your video I may not have to struggle with this anymore. Thank you!
you are precious and pretty. know your true value even if people would not acknowledge. be careful, take care of yourself. i wish the best, health, wellbeing, blessings and all good
This goes along with the point that you bought up about nuturing your relationship with God, but I just wanted to add to what you said about taking control over your confidence! Though, yes, it is very helpful to find confidence through self care (you should be taking care of yourself; you deserve it ❤️) I've found that true confidence comes from security in Christ. That confidence that I continue to develop in God is what changed the standard that I have for myself and others. (Ex: wanting to take care of myself and expecting respect from others.) So basically in short: Seeking confidence in God FIRST = confidence in self.
Seeking therapy could also be a part of deliverance. Processing thoughts/behaviors/ and/or emotions with an unbiased, nonjudgmental person can help get to the root.
I hate men perving at me in public but I am obsessed with finding a bf on dating apps. It's so hard to find someone. Eh. I wouldn't be rushed if I wasn't soon 35 and want another child.
I love your channel and your content. I actually feel like I’m not wasting my time when I watch your videos. I’m 23 years old, I live in my father’s house, both parents and I’m saving sex for marriage, I can admit with all the marriage content that I consume through social media had cause me to be anxious, then I’ll forget about the beauty of patience that my parents instilled in me. I learned some things in this video and I can say that single hood is what you make it. Thanks again beautiful!!!! Your hair looks amazing.
Yay!! Now! This what we came for!💅 Is this like, Decentering men? Cause I really want to do that in a healthy way (not hating men), but also in a general spiritual sense, like decentering people's expectations from my life.
Look how beautiful you look ❤️ your hair is growing so much, you look like you have been taking the necessary steps to take that self care break to heart. Proud of you mama. ☦️
Absolutely needed these words today! I’ve been struggling the past couple of months with my solo identity and recently found myself backsliding into old male attention habits from my youth rather than depending on God. Thank you for posting and giving a new sense of strength.
Would you be interested in sharing how you achieved this hair style? We have the same curl pattern, so I would love to try this!! I have enjoyed your hair videos in the past. You look absolutely stunning.
@@JasmyneTheodora That was my guess!! Yay, I’m so excited to see it! I loved this video too. Amazing topic & so important for us girls who are still single.
Oh my! I have been checking if you'll post from time to time. I immediately clicked on this when i saw it. 😂 It's like my youtube belongs to you now. Thank you for being such a good influence
Thank you so much to Aura for making this video possible! To support finding peace and improve your mental wellbeing, get started with Aura today for free. The first 500 people to use my link will also get 25% off + free trial to the Aura membership: www.aurahealth.io/jasmyne
- Jasmyne 🩷
How to solve:
1. acknowledge you have a problem
2. delete social media
3. acknowledge potential romantizicing
4. dont need to make your entire life about enterianing men to find love
5. revaluate the quality of your life without male attention
6. nurture your relationship with God.
7. nurture platonic relationships
8. take control over your confidence
Seek God first. Marriage is divine. I wanted to get married at 18. I'm now engaged at 48 to the most amazing woman I've ever met, a divine blessing. I wasted years as a playboy now I'm a Christian God blessed me.
Psalm 118:8, 9
"It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man. It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in princes"🙏🏼💕
Man as in mankind or humans, not man is in the gender
I actually really dislike being hit on. Being stared/gawked at is annoying/creepy after a while. It's so important to love yourself (not narcissism) and have confidence in your identity especially in Christ. Thanks for this. 💗
Totally agree! And thanks for watching!
Same....I don't like the cheesyness too...
good to know. never hit on a woman got it. but then don't ever expect for someone like me to pay attention to you either. some women are so clingy when they feel you have something they don't but the question is would they like you if you didn't. other women will be mean to you get others to turn against you and talk both behind your back and to your face. but when you kind of ignore that they will be angry that you are not as hurt by it as they would like. I honestly wish I wouldn't be sexually attracted to women or (or anyone else for that matter) to me only good thing about testosterone is strength. but that strength comes with a price. but you are right about one thing it is important to love yourself. something that people who actually suck know better than those who don't so it is important to realize one's own worth especially if you are surrounded by assholes be it men or women
Same. I prefer meeting guys online honestly, and getting to know them before meeting up
@@bartangel4867 jeez Louise dude, they struck a cord with you… just because some women don’t like being hit on doesn’t mean all women don’t either. Most men just don’t know how to take rejection or read body language. If she doesn’t seem into it say “well hey have a great day” and walk away. Don’t keep thinking you’ll convince them.
The hair 😍
IKR ITS GORGEOUS 😁💗
I wish men would put as much thought into dating as we did. They will gas up women left and right and then once they get her, they just change their mind on a whim. It was never love, they were just horny or bored or lonely, or all of them. And I hate the damage it does to women who just want to feel loved and safe.
Laugh= love, idk what happened there lol
I think women long for safety because the world can be a more dangerous and hostile place if you're a woman, especially if you're going around and being single and still trying to have fun and enjoy your life. So we seek out relationships in the hope they will give us security and that makes us feel more insecure, because men don't experience that same hostility when they go out into the world alone and assert themselves.
If women focused on making and saving money, and accepting and being accepted by other women irrespective of male validation, we would start to feel more at ease and we wouldn't feel the same type of longing or even desperation in our relationships.
But like she said we have to actually care about the men that we interact with (brothers in Christ, right?) and not just be in it for ourselves and seeking comfort, security or validation.
True...for me especially as an introverted woman, this is the biggest fear of mine when it comes to relationships. Hence why I regard true masculinity and courtmanship very highly, but it's very rare.
@@frankturner316I completely agree, as a guy, I’m definitely trying to live my own life, and not seek validation. I also try to be respectful of women without being creepy. Sometimes I would say it’s pretty difficult because I tend to overthink things a lot. So I don’t know if I am coming off as creepy or not. I would say as a guy who’s trying to be a solid dude it’s hard when you have “nice guys”, and overly aggressive dudes. TBH I’m at the point of just being nice to women, and not asking them out unless they make a clear message to me that they are interested.
that movie 'he's just not that into you' really felt like a slap across my face back in my middle school days haha, glad i watched it
Yes, me too! Haha. Incredibly helpful message.
I'm definitely going to see it. Wild was also a movie about a chaotic woman that hit me so hard. It's with Reese Witherspoon
@@poppyzol it was an awful movie straight up just misogynistic
My advice for everyone: focus on God inseatd of on men, and the right man may come along. Also ask God for help to find the right man.
OMG! The wanting male attention to replace your father's attention was real. When I realized I wasn't looking for that type of attention until after my father passed away, such a game changer!
Im so sorry for your loss. God bless you sweetheart
My problem isn’t wanting all male attention, my problem is when I know 1 likes me I’m expecting him to be obsessed 🙄🥴
😆 I dont think you’re alone there!
I do too because why wouldn’t he be? Lol
Same
Same here girl 😂
I deleted social media in 2020 (if I remember correctly). I just have UA-cam and Pinterest. It made everything so much better.
Me too cause tiktok broke my mental health but I went back a few months later to social media.... Biggest mistake of my life
Diagnosis Idolize male attention:
1. "I wonder if he thinks im pretty"
2. want attention of men you're not attracted to
3. more social when men are present
4. poor boundaries with men
5. have sex and get into relationships quickly/ use sex as levarage to keep men interested
6. hard time rejecting men
7. tailor appearance to what uill be appealing to men
8. perosnality changes based on the guy your'e talking to
9. directionless without make attention/approval
10. improve yourself only to be more attracrive to men
11. get easily attached
12. become more alert when men are around
13. don't have quailty relationship with father
14. desire male attention even when marrried or in a relationship
15. struggle with your faith
7/15 = idolize men
Hi gadegedegadeda o
I can take a compliment or two but after that it just becomes uncomfortable and creepy. Be yourself and stay prayerful. In time, you will find/be found by the right one.
🙌
Ooh if you are not attracted him then it’s creepy..
this came at such aright time....truly, Everything falls into place at the right time
she's an icon
she's a legend
and she is the moment
JASMYNE IS BACKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you so much for this video.
I realize i am "boy crazy" but i am not acting on it, i am not currently dating or avtively looking for a man, but in my mind idolizing relationship is very harmful and makes me very miserable.
A useful resource on the topic is "Get Lost" by Dannah Gresh, is a book targeted to girls but the principles are true to any single woman.
If anyone is interested in reading it with me, i'd love to!
yesss pleasee!!
That’ll be awesome!
Sounds great! I've just ordered it
I have just realized how boy crazy I am too. How are we gonna read it together?
@@alicia_nicole let me know if you want tò join
As a male Christian its lovely hearing the female christian perspective on these topics it gives me insight.
I felt attacked for a second omg it’s not other men’s desire that I crave, I just struggle with needing my man’s attention 24/7. I’ve identified it stems from daddy issues and the fear of being someone not worth loving. I pray I find confidence and you have strength to get through the tough time you’re having. I know you’re strong!
When I’m ovulating, it’s when I feel the most lonely and makes me the most boi crazy
That is totally normal haha. At least you know it’s your hormones!
Ohh me too! It's terrible, sometimes I think I could sleep with anyone who is attractive while ovulation
Wow look who we got here 🥰
🫡🫡🙋🏽♀️
You have such amazing, balanced takes. I feel like idolizing male attention is often perpetuated among trad influencers, so this is a breath of fresh air.
Your hair also looks lovely by the way.
7am here and I really didnt like being called out this early in the morning......
I needed it though 😢
Thank you Jasmyne 💗
She's right. This IS life changing.
thank you Theodora I needed this at this time. Ive been working on myself finally for the first time. My mood always depends on the external things.. more so how a man treats me/ gives attention
You're so welcome! Deliverance is possible!
The tip to delete social media really hit home. I definitely have a problem of idolization, but moreso with other women than men, I’ve noticed. I admit I am kind of jaded about men.
I feel as if I have non-romantic limerence for this one particular influencer, and I guess I think of her as perfect because I don’t actually know her, and I never will. She’s everything I wish I could be, beautiful, rich, carefree, a traveller. And if I know I can never be that, I just waste my days being an observer of it, in envy and admiration.
I didn't delete social media, but I reduced usage. I haven't posted since 2022 or early 2023. I still scroll on occasion for recipe videos on food pages, wholesome family life videos, life updates of acquaintences, but I have time limits. If I take photos, I share directly with my family, bf, and close friends I regularly spend time with. Too much social media use can cause negative envious thoughts and attention seeking behaviors, constantly watching how many likes and comments you get (idolatry).
Thank you! I’m an orthodox Christian myself and I find this very helpful that you discuss “girly” things involving God in it 🙏🏻
HAIR IS GROWING LONG AND HEALTHY 👌🏽👌🏽
This video slapped me in all the ways
@@EmilyChieng nah fr
I'm not a Christian, but I love your channel and have followed you for ages now.
I was always very soft and feminine, but I was hiding it because I felt scared and also compelled to behave in a more independent way due to societal values and upbringing.
You have no idea how many times I've rewatched your videos. And also Teal Swan. I don't agree with everything she says, but she also taught me a lot.
I'm currently realizing how much I'm struggling with this issue. Maybe it's because I had no parents since they abandoned me. Bullying, being naive, and being used by people broke me in so many ways that I hadn't even perceived.
I think women and men relate to a lot in this video.
I do believe in something, in Gods, in the Source, and ever since I connected and talk to Source every day, many things have changed in my life. It gives me a sense of peace and being loved. So yes people it does help!!♡
I'm going to write down every single question you said and ponder about it. ❤ thank you... Really... Thank you so much Jasmyne. You bring light to his 🌎.
@@royalindication By trusting in God, you have finally found the right path.
This video is incredible and what I needed. I am a model and I grew up being seen as my appearance. No one really knew me so I always took so much validation from my external features. But that never lead to true confidence, some time ago I started praising myself as how a parent would have done for different things which helped me grow in confidence. But one major thing is I get anxiety being around a lot of people, and how I would calm myself is by controlling my appearance. I’ve since started wanting something more than that. A true confidence that is more than what’s on the outside. Something that never fades. I love this video so much and I started having a lot of these questions recently so this video came in perfect timing.
This came at such a perfect time for me. I do struggle with low self esteem and i always chase after attention and validation from certain men, im doing it at the moment with someone.
Its something that i need healing from my Heavenly Father 🙏
How do i get skibidi rizz
Right there with you. 🙂
The “how to find deliverance” section of this video was absolutely everything. THANK YOUUUUUU
This was a hard video to watch, but one I need... thank you❤
I needed this!!! Thank you! Also, fellow Orthodox sister here ❤☦️ It is so nice to have found a femininity page with a woman who is Orthodox like myself
Welcome!! 🩷☦️
Honestly one of your best videos! So much of this advice can be applied to anyone struggling with idolatry of any kind. I love that you advise women to build competency in something but not for the sake of attracting external validation. I know that's a tough one for me.
When you started listing the “WHYs” 😭😭 how do I relate to so many
Off topic, but the skin is glowing, the hair is growing, God's grace is clearly shining through you❤
Totally random but your hair looks great, grew so nicely too. ☺️💕🙏
Thank you so much! Trading my wash n gos for flexirod sets. Loving it
@@JasmyneTheodora I came here to comment the same thing
@@JasmyneTheodora Can we please get an updated hair routine?!!!
Yes!!
she made a good point. sometimes we as women crave the attention of bad boys because they are the ones who are more masculine, assertive in what they want and protective
Then you try to change us based on your own insecurities then we leave or ghost.
I always thought there was something wrong with me because I like having crushes, but when I find out guys like me, I lose interest (if I had any) or I just start getting annoyed with them.
I had no idea there was a name for this, limerence, thank you so much for helping me understand this!
I appreciate this content because i have been struggling and am struggling with this issues. I have realized that learning about healthy relationships and how they really do come out of nowhere makes it easier to not focus on that and know that good men aren’t rare. It s so easy to hate on (bad) men while wanting a good one which create a dichotomy and anxiety / stress about dating. You want so much to find the good one that you end up pushing this want and idealization on someone that just isn’t it. To see women talking about good love really ease the heart! So this would be my advice to anyone sharing my struggle!
Thank you for this. Was just praying about this this morning
Wonderful!
I'm really glad I found a Christian perspective on this because as a Christian who dose seek male attention I've tried to fine answers and get a solution on my own. All the advice I got was vary pagen but this really put it into perspective.. it's not just a me thing it's a worldly thing and the answer is God...I got a vary good conviction out of this thank you sister in Christ ❤️✝️
This needs talked about so much! 💞 I wish I would have known this knowledge in my teenage years 😢 but I'm grateful I get into grow into my womanhood knowing it now! 💕
May God protect you and fill you with peace and healing and allow you to rise above the attacks as you serve as a mighty warrior in His kingdom😊
This was me since I was a young, young girl and into my early twenties. Just boy crazy. I believe it stemmed from having a mostly absent father and craving something missing. I sacrificed my purity, dignity, friendships, and opportunities for that idol. I’m almost thirty and still look back with sadness for the desperate girl I was. Jesus saved me from that idol and is helping me to forget the shame of my youth. Wonderful women on the internet, like yourself, have helped me heal the broken and sinful thoughts that led to that lifestyle. I am now married to the best man I’ve ever known (other than Jesus), but I still have to be on guard against this. This is important. Thank you for speaking on it ❤
This is so true I remember before I was saved how desperate I was for male attention/validation thank you Jesus for changing me!! 🙏🏽❤
Wait but what if you got -1000 ei ei ei Skibidi aura debt and banned from tiktok rizz party 😦😢
Something to add that may help someone:
God revealed to me one day about this topic that when we idolize male attention we make them objects, and because we dont see how they are a PERSON we can see them as disposable- hence why some of us may drop them the second they “aren’t fulfilling enough” or “just not who we thought they were”.
Sometimes we may even make male attention our gods, because humans were made to serve God, when we dont have God in our life we will scavenge to find someone or something to fill those shoes. If nothing does, we feel directionless or numb.
God told me that these kinds of idolizations, make them either disposable or self-disposing worthy, damages you and that person. See them for the beautiful images of God they are and how they are deserving of respect, because God is The Great Artisan.
This video came at the right time! I'm finally content with being in my single girl era because I know I have so much personal and spiritual growth to do for when I am ready for a relationship, which will only be for the purpose of marriage. But even still, when I was younger and less confident, never the girl guys liked in school, anytime I got male attention I ate it up and tho my self-esteem is better, I constantly worry what guys think of me in public like a persistent thought in the back of my mind. I try to ignore it, but it's so hard to get rid of but I'm still trying to get better every day so thank you for making this video
I needed this right now. Pray for me please yall.
Thank you for bringing up Teal Swan's idea of 'containment'! When I saw her video about the topic, it resonated so deeply with me and was by far the best description of what I personally am looking for in a man -- but I also felt torn as a Christian woman since Teal Swan seems to espouse a very different worldview. But I'm glad to hear you also saw wisdom in it.
Thank you so much for this!!! I really needed this video! I've decided to take an extended break from dating, seeing as I started to feel more jaded about dating after constant rejection. I've found that my life feels a lot more peaceful and I have a lot less highs and lows when I don't focus on the things I don't have, ESPECIALLY male attention. I definitely need to pray more and it feels nice to appreciate time with my son, friends, and family.
Very well done video! This was the therapy session I needed. I've struggled with this all my life. The part about not getting enough attention from your father hit hard. My dad was present but not tuned in with us growing up. I never realized that would be enough to cause daddy issues. Also the way you described why we tend to desire the more aggressive/jerk type guys helped me perfectly understand why I always fall for the nate Jacobs and bryce walkers of the world 😭 it makes sense and I hate it. If I could give this video a million thumbs up, I would. Thank you so much, Jasmyne!
Wow this is one of the best videos on youtube about this topic it covers every aspect/corner!! Gave me goosebumps at some points, thank you for putting this together!! THANK YOU for talking about God, this was so much more relevant! GOD SAVED ME FROM WANTING MALE ATTENTION/ BEING BOY CRAZY!!!
Thank you so much for speaking on this! This feels so much like big sisterly advice from a big sister I never had!
Without trauma dumping, I was just rejected really rudely by a man I put on a pedestal and I realized that I really dont have a good opinion of myself... Which is why I liked a slightly awful man in the first place... someone who would have never liked me in the first place. I find that I have this dissonance within myself that I really crave male attention, validation, and intimacy, but when I receive it im disgusted. Life is so interesting...
I don't wanna all the men around me attention i just want to be loved by one at least once in my life I've never felt that always felt unseen unloved and questioned myself if i am unlovable, every time i like someone he ends up liking one of my close friends
Loved this! Thank you it was so helpful. "You will not miss God's plan for you!"
Omg this video was so good! Thank you for sharing. Thank you for finding the correct headspace to share this profound message even in the midst of your real life circumstances ❤ you're awesome!
The way I ran omw, glad to see u back , I hope all is well with you and thank you for taking the time to drop a video 😞☺️❤️
Okay let me go back to the video 😂😊
Ohhhhh im so honored 🥹 hope you enjoy!
11:24 giirrlll this explains my lifeee
You hair has gotten so long and it’s so luscious 🥰
I haven't been on your channel for a while, and today I randomly had the thought to search it. This has been such an immense help. So many things that I knew already but was not acknowledging were addressed. The most significant of all was having God in the center of your life. When I look back at times when my priority was God, the inner peace I felt was incomparable to that of having male attention. It may not be the same level of excitement, the same hit of dopamine you get from having male attention, but its tranquility, proper security. You don't seek anyone's validation so deeply, let alone that of men, because you know there's something that is everlasting. Something that will give you a sense of stability that cannot be accomplished through any other means, as everything else is fleeting. Thank you so much for this, I hope you know how much benefit you have brought through the sharing of these wisdoms
omg i do every single thing you said in the diagnosis😩
I’ve been there! It gets better if you work it, girly!
Jasmyne, I am so glad you made this video. This is such a big problem for me and probably many others, and it isn’t spoken about enough. I’m not Christian but it is clear there is value in your words.
thank you. this really was life changing. I've been really struggling with all of this lately and about to blow up my life again because of it so this video came at the right time for me. I never comment on videos but I needed you to hear from someone whose life you touched how much you covered and how well you covered it with this topic. you're amazing, so wise and smart.
So glad I could help 🥹
❤I’m so happy you decided to grace the world with yet another healing video. I just love your content! I for one am going through this journey. The more I focus on God and my mental wellbeing, the less anxious I become. Not idolizing my marriage causes me to be more attractive naturally. I now have the ability to choose if and when I want to share my peaceful energy. 😊 To just Be.. is the most rewarding gift of being a woman.
You convinced me with the question on the video. Gonna watch now. Truly appreciate your page!
🎉🎉 Welcome back Sister.
I missed you.
I kept checking back and forth on your channel for new video.
I was happy to have seen a notification today ❤.
Cheers to more.
God bless you .
And you hair has grown longer ❤🎉
It is very refreshing to see videos of femininity that also talk about our relationship with God. If there is something I learned, it is that the most important thing is that we are his beloved daughters, so Jasmyne, thank you very much for this video, it is what I needed!
THE HAIR ! Gorgeous. But really this episode was so needed, growing up I had low self esteem and I also was very familiar with the “true love” thing that induced my want for male attention aswell, this was a needed episode that I believe was God answering my prayers
Thats why unassertive guys are so not the business , they fail to provide the male containment.. and i thought i was delusional all this while .. thanks for verbalizing my thoughts
My pleasure!
I am not a Christian so therefore I do not agree with a few points in this video but this honestly really opened my eyes. This is something I have struggled with for most of highschool, and thanks to your video I may not have to struggle with this anymore. Thank you!
this video came on the right time ,God bless you
I need this today 😭
Hope the video helps ❤
you are precious and pretty. know your true value even if people would not acknowledge. be careful, take care of yourself. i wish the best, health, wellbeing, blessings and all good
This goes along with the point that you bought up about nuturing your relationship with God, but I just wanted to add to what you said about taking control over your confidence! Though, yes, it is very helpful to find confidence through self care (you should be taking care of yourself; you deserve it ❤️) I've found that true confidence comes from security in Christ. That confidence that I continue to develop in God is what changed the standard that I have for myself and others. (Ex: wanting to take care of myself and expecting respect from others.) So basically in short: Seeking confidence in God FIRST = confidence in self.
Seeking therapy could also be a part of deliverance. Processing thoughts/behaviors/ and/or emotions with an unbiased, nonjudgmental person can help get to the root.
I hate men perving at me in public but I am obsessed with finding a bf on dating apps. It's so hard to find someone. Eh. I wouldn't be rushed if I wasn't soon 35 and want another child.
Skibidi aura rizz Fanum Taxed
I completely understand where you’re coming from !
Basically, ladies, let’s know our worth and value before falling for a random man and eventually disrespecting yourself ❤❤❤
Jasmyne we NEED those episodes on spotify !!
Brilliant take on all of it - Limerence, Masculine Containment, attraction to bad boys, dad issues, all the self-reflection questions - bravo! 😊👏
I love your channel and your content. I actually feel like I’m not wasting my time when I watch your videos. I’m 23 years old, I live in my father’s house, both parents and I’m saving sex for marriage, I can admit with all the marriage content that I consume through social media had cause me to be anxious, then I’ll forget about the beauty of patience that my parents instilled in me. I learned some things in this video and I can say that single hood is what you make it. Thanks again beautiful!!!! Your hair looks amazing.
Thank you so much jasmyne. ♥️
your hair looks so good pls drop the curly hair routine
This was like a free therapy session. Thank you so much❤❤❤
We missed you!! Your videos are always so genuine and well articulated-- you've helped me a lot. Take whatever breaks you need, we all support you 💕
Thank you! Will do!
hi jas, can you make a video about waiting until marriage? i noticed you said we should abstain from it so i wanted to hear your input ☺️ thanks 🦋
Yay!! Now! This what we came for!💅
Is this like, Decentering men?
Cause I really want to do that in a healthy way (not hating men), but also in a general spiritual sense, like decentering people's expectations from my life.
It’s essentially about being able to live without always worrying about men desiring you!
Unrelated but....the hair waaw😍😍😍😍 you're so beautiful it's unreal😍😍
Look how beautiful you look ❤️ your hair is growing so much, you look like you have been taking the necessary steps to take that self care break to heart. Proud of you mama. ☦️
Im half way the video and its SO GOOD and full of wisdom🙏🏽💙. Love LOVE you're hair and dress!
I've missed your videos! Thank you for being such an inspiration to me 😊
Wow, thank you! ☺️
Absolutely needed these words today! I’ve been struggling the past couple of months with my solo identity and recently found myself backsliding into old male attention habits from my youth rather than depending on God. Thank you for posting and giving a new sense of strength.
I missed you so much ❤❤ glad to see you back
😊 that means so much, thank you so much for being here
Need to listen to the end section of this every day
Would you be interested in sharing how you achieved this hair style? We have the same curl pattern, so I would love to try this!! I have enjoyed your hair videos in the past. You look absolutely stunning.
I’m planning to do a video on it! It’s a flexirod set on blown-out hair.
@@JasmyneTheodora That was my guess!! Yay, I’m so excited to see it! I loved this video too. Amazing topic & so important for us girls who are still single.
Oh my! I have been checking if you'll post from time to time. I immediately clicked on this when i saw it. 😂 It's like my youtube belongs to you now. Thank you for being such a good influence
You look beautiful Jasmyne, I love the hair ❤
New subscriber catching up🙋🏽♀️ argh thank you for this❤️🥹
This has really made me dig deeper into what could be the reason behind it. Thank you!!!💕
I'm so glad!
Ur hair is gorgeous I’ve noticed it’s gotten so much longer since u last posted 2 months ago. Do u have any hair growth tips.