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Why Do We Blame Victims of Sexual Violence?
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- Опубліковано 2 лип 2021
- This week, The Swaddle team explores our attitudes towards sexual violence, and what makes victim blaming so rampant in India.
Edited by: Neha Shekhawat
Scripted by: Anushka Dias
Presented by: Anahita Sachdev
Visual research: Samiksha Mathur
Produced by: Shrishti Malhotra
Creative Supervisor: Karla Bookman
Want to learn more about the research in this video? Check out these readings:
-Eckman, Zoë. "An Oppressive Silence: The Evolution of the Raped Woman in Medieval France and England." PDF). Historian: Journal of the Undergraduate History Department at New York University 50 (2009): 68-77.
-Sinha, Kanad. "Be It Manu, Be It Macaulay: Indian Law and the Problem of the Female Body." J. Indian L. & Soc'y 5 (2014): 61.
-Gupta-Cassale, Nira. "Bearing witness: Rape, female resistance, male authority and the problems of gender representation in popular Indian cinema." Indian journal of gender studies 7, no. 2 (2000): 231-248.
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" if a woman is asking for it, she could just ask for it"- Vir Das
@Посейдон Афродита Дионис true
Damn true
damn straight
Yes!
Because it is always available
I was wearing SCHOOL UNIFORM when a guy dared his friend to touch my breast and I was unaware of that fact. He did that. When I told one of my teachers, she said "give him a last warning, if it happens again then we will inform the principal". Hihi I didn't stop there, I went to another teacher and told her the incident and she took a stand. Those two boys faced amazing consequences. Hihi. But what's worse was some of my classmates including girls telling me "ki tumko itna kuch karna nhi chahiye tha." I don't regret my decision.
Remember, there is no "2nd chance" for such bullshit activities.
And you shouldn't regret it. You were right
@@shinchannohara2102 thank you 💞😊
@@diyasingh7365 wow so brave 🔥
What punishment those morons were given?
That's good, more power to you
@@sanchitachaudhary4196 don't let it slide next time, people tend to take us for granted, shove that in their face
Why does a woman's 'honour' come up in court? Why does SHE have to defend her 'character'? Makes me furious to think of how unfair it is
There is a landmark judgement involving a football player . That judgement laid out instances where the past history can be used
@@taylorswiftrox6382 what’s the name of the case?
Exactly like why are we adding that innit it's two different things, visti blaming is so common in our society and people take it as a part of culture when it's not.
EXACTLY!!! like if a woman has had boyfriends in the past and if she's a virgin or not, how does that matter? if she's been sexually assaulted how does her 'character' or the number of men she has slept with matter? i am just so tired of this mindset that if a girl is promiscuous, she's inviting rape.
Wait for Sexist creeps to come and explain
Waiting for haters to blame feminism for sexual crimes
I swear 😂
Lol there are men telling how feminism is destroying the country 😂😂
@@veda8780 they just can't handle women at their full potential and blame us for their incompetence
@@veda8780 and I heard a men telling "feminism is cancer " 😂😂
@@Queen-db9yj Can't believe how blind they are. Those idiots are never going to understand the value of feminism.
"Boys will be boys ,then where are the wise men?"- TAYLORSWIFT
Queen always says the right thing👑 ❤
@@theswiftie6654 Yes they do❤
@@factshouse3690 kya 🤣😂.... matlab kuch bhi
Boys will be boys, girls will be women
~dua lipa
@@phenomenalphysics3548 👑
When there's a murder we don't blame the person killed, if a shop is robbed we don't blame the person robbed, we don't say that the shop keeper had the items on display or how they displayed it, they don't say that the person killed pissed the killer off or was a vulnerable target, we don't blame any other victims of crime, why only victims of sexual assault are blamed and have their character Questioned, There's a murderer, a robber and a rapist
This👏👏👏👏👏
So true🙌🙌🙌
speaking faxx sis !
I don't understand ppl who say it's nature of that's how men in nature behaves I would wanna be a bird next time except for roosters
@@cristinewithnoh840 me too!!
Unfortunately, we live in a society where a woman is shamed for no fault of hers and men are let scott-free just because, well, "Men will be men".
Well that’s a very very generic statement. Without some context it seems meaningless.
Yes instead of victim blaming, raise better sons who don't harass, violate consent
@Dr strange ठीक है डाक्टर जी। जैसी आपकी आज्ञा। 😬
go and open any meme page on instagram....it's filled with this comment "men will be men"....and they are proud of this.....
Which earth you're living on?
In school, girls are given more instruction when it comes to being safe but boys are not taught to stop acting like (fill in the blank with the choicest of expletives). It would’ve helped us so much.
Every gender should be taught about it.
@@shinchannohara2102 girls are alrdy taught wearing skirts below knee length, wear covered clothes etc I remember when we were 14 we girls always wanted to do a different hairstyle other than 2 braids so we decided on school destival practice day we all of our section will do 1 single ponytail. We did that not only all the girls of my section got punished for trying ponytail but the ma'am said we are trying to attract guys with it. This MORAL POLICING is INTENSE yet Boys are not taught that EVE TEASING is NEITHER A FORM OF COURTSHIP NOR ITS SOMETHING EQUIVALENT TO COMPLIMENTS
@@mimis.5139 I didn't mean that every gender should be morally policed. What I meant that there should be awareness about this .
Don't be too fake ... In our school Bois' head were Banged to wall for even talking unnecessary absurd things to a gal
@@villain2617 if the things they said weren't problematic then your school was kinda abusive
Unfortunately we live in a world where being sexually abused is the victims fault. *REMEMBER* the perpetrators is always at fault, never the victim!!!!!!!
@@jonron3805 There are so many actually ...the recent case of Hathras ...read about it ..it was just unfair man ...so unfair ....at the end they destroyed all the evidences and said rape never happened they even killed that girl ..I believe they killed her and then burned her body without her family's consent and any rituals...it was horrible but nothing happened to those rapists ...
@@jonron3805 I myself was assaulted by one of my male friend but I was the one ended up being blamed for everything ..I was only seventeen at that time and was so clueless and he was 21..they questioned my character and what not ..It was really hard for me to prove that I was molested by him ... till this day no one asks him anything but they have no hesitation when asking me about it ...
It wasn't first time I was assaulted ..I was first assaulted when I was 9 years old my brother was there too and we were in temple and that guy just came to us and started asking some random questions and then just pulled me and kissed me in front of my brother who is younger than me ..we both were clueless and after that he again tried it many times but I just ran away from him ...
And once I was in 9th grade. I was 13 at that time and one of my classmates came to my house when I was alone and tried to break the lock and broke so many things outside my house ...I called my mother and she asked our neighbours for help .. when this incident spreaded in school ..my teachers called me and scolded me for flirting and seducing him ...I cried whole day that day ...I was so ashamed to talk to anyone so I kept quiet ...no one asked that guy anything ..there are many more incidents which I can't write here ...
@@jonron3805 when we think about assault.. What generally comes to mind is brutally raped and killed. But sexual assault by definition an act in which one intentionally sexually touches another person without that person's consent, physically forces a person to engage in a sexual act against their will.' If we take the more un noticed instances like a male family member of a girl assaulting her and the girl reaches out to someone, i kid you not 9 out of 10 times people fail to believe the girl or think that she must have done something provocative. This is just one of the many instances.. If a women in assaulted in the workplace or catcalled in the streets and talks about it, she often gets blamed for dressing or behaving inappropriately. I hope i gave you a practical case where the assaulter was NOT shunned.
@@jonron3805 and yes people do condemn the assaulter and openly sympathize with the victim.. But mostly when its too late. Like the victim had been brutally murdered. Often these same people will go and defend assaulters they think are nice men who would never abuse anyone, and even worse blame the women who have been abused. This is just a result of rape culture which is unfortunately too rooted in our society that we fail to even notice its harms. So my point is you cannot go around pretending that victim blaming does not exist. It does and its problematic on so many levels.
@@iampigoinkoink5185 i am so sorry you had to go through all that. Ik u know this by now. But it aint ur fault. ❤
i hate how men and the state still have sm autonomy over a woman’s body and morality, it’s disgusting.
Its thought provoking....makes you question the kind of world you are living in??
@@esharoychoudhury4119 indeed
Why can't we say no one has right on anyone? Don't you think identification is the source of differentiation? "Its a humble question"
Truly
@@vishalpujar8632 It's because it's mostly men who are violating boundaries of women and other men.
The clothes the victim was wearing and why they were out at that time don't matter. IT 👏 WASN'T 👏 THEIR 👏 FAULT👏, PERIODT!
Exactly .
I completely agree with you
Periodt! Rapists rape people not cloth and the society still victim blaming
@@abbasmalaika2880 exactly. Society needs to know better
ur absolutely right.👍
"we are protecting you by putting restrictions" we don't need you to protect us, we can protect ourselves. We need you to not harm us.
I needed this
I have never spoke to a single girl who hasn't faced sexual harrasment. And that speaks volumes about the kind of society we live in.
The ONLY person at fault when someone is sexually harassed is the assaulter. The victim is NEVER at fault. Remember that.
Edit: I agree that there are other factors which may lead to a sexual harassment case (protecting assaulters, letting convicted assaulters out of prison, etc.) However, the ultimate reason someone gets harassed is because the assaulter chose to do it. It's their fault, periodt.
but there are some cases which proves ur statement wrong🙏
Not really
There are many at fault
Constitution of the country as this keeps repeating (one of the assaulter was let away in Nirbaya's case as he was a minor)
Society in which we live in, as the rapists are guarded and protected (even children are getting raped and the society still blame the victim's family)
Finally the assaulter who is a psychopath, who deserves to die no matter whether he/she feels guilty or not
“sexual harassment” is a very broad term. If you meant “rape” then your statement is correct. But if someone reports “flirting, staring or hugging” as “sexual harassment” then your statement MAY NOT ALWAYS be correct.
@@yadaKiKhula Hugging with out consent is s€xual harassment
@@femmefatale3598 yes it can be. That why I said “may not always”.
One thing,we blame the woman because she provoked men.... but can anyone justify the point for a 3 month old baby girl...who doesn't even know to talk...oh the diaper on her must have provoked the man👍🏻wow
Thanks swaddle for bringing this up ❤️ we shouldn't blame the victim but blame the person who did this henious thing
This is just so disgusting 😞, some demons just literally r*pe the innocent animals. I just wish those perverts just rot themselves to death.
Sabse jayada rape kis umar ki ladki ke saath hota
It's not their fault however don't be surprised when it happens as much as you would normally.
The problem with rape is that people make it about losing "izzat" but it is all about "consent"
If people understand this much...
This.
This.
this.
This.
This.
Marital Rape should be considered a crime and Domestic Violence should be actively reported to reduce such crimes against women. If we keep blaming victims of Sexual Violence then we can never evolve into a modern, developed nation and a mature democracy.
I recommend you look up Deepika Narayan Bhardwaj on UA-cam. What are your thoughts on what she is saying? I would like to know.
@@saimaharaj109 she's an MRA and doing a great job at it probably but that shouldn't sabotage the issue of men assaulting women
The dislikes are from those people who blame victims for the reason of sexual violence.
Keep those people fry in hot oil
All of my friends has their own set of stalkers ,some long term ,some short term . Can't tell it to parents because , jhutha ilzam laga rahi hai, victim-blaming, I remember my parents telling me tumhare peeche hi ladke kyu padte and the high chance of loosing basic FREEDOM like morning walks, going outside alone, and so much more. I thank pandemic I don't have to go outside for classes and don't have to cry everyday to sleeping :)
Your height is very good.
Tumhare parents toh khatarnak h
Even if im walking naked down the street if i say no it means no why is the womens charachter needed if she said no and he continues anyways then its rape doesnt matter if she was drunk wearing short skirts or in a sari
even in that case! at any moment does anyone (and especially some disgusting men) owe, or have rights on others bodys? our bodys are to anybody but ourselves!!! even if a woman is half or fully naked you don't have the right to sexualize her, no it's not normal to ask her for sex just because she is naked and if you can't see any woman without considering her as a sex object, then you are the problem, not her
zyada ni ho gaya didi?
@@rachatmokrani3248 oh come on. Did you actually say “even if a woman is half or fully naked you don’t have the right to sexualise her”? I can understand and fully support a statement like “even if a woman is half or fully naked you don’t have the right to rape her”. But if you are naked on the street then it’s is definitely going to draw attention and there will be sexualisation obviously. It’s just human nature. Men and women are attracted to each other. And it’s not like men can look at a naked woman and then decide whether to get attracted or not. It’s happens naturally at a subconscious level. The further action definitely can be and should be controlled. But the subconscious attraction simply cannot be controlled.
A women walking naked on street is like putting deer infront of hungry lion. Definitely it is going to attack it
@@sadiqahmed1648 Creatures who attack are not humans and they should be locked away.
I think the root cause Is that parents teach daughter that how to behave and protect their selves and not their son that how to respect girls and how to make these society safe for females.
exactly, but am not going to do that. if I have a son in future I will always teach him how to respect women.
I have a 5 year old son, and I will teach him to respect women.i will teach him how to behave
*I have a question for those who firmly believe that it's always "Women's own fault causes rape"*
Then explain it to me when a 10 year old child / a 70 year old grandma / a diseased or handicapped / or one who's body got raped after death
*WHO'S FAULT IS IN ALL THESE CASES*
Ok so do u think it is a biological or moral problem with men? What's the solution?
@@sadiqahmed1648 have utmost self control.
The person who assaulted was morally and legally wrong. However the protector of these people too has a responsibility of building sufficient protections around the vulnerable. When people know such dirty things happen in the world they cant wash their hands of the responsibility to protect just by saying that the assaulter is morally wrong so I do not have to build protections around the vulnerable.
@@sadiqahmed1648 The solution is to "educate" men and make them aware. Schools/Guardians should focus on the all-round character development of men and not just remain limited to academics!
@@sadiqahmed1648 so do you think it's women's prb biological and moral
I really wish your content is aired on national television. Our small minded, primitive society and politicians need to see this. Well done Swaddle! 🙂👍🏼👍🏼
Oh just imagine
Our parents gonna watch it
People gonna watch it
And LEARN
I wish this happens someday
Once a guy in my class said to my friend, "tere sath aisa kaam kar dunga baithte waqt sharmaegi" to which I replied, " tujhe aisi jagah marungi kabhi baap nhi ban paega". The whole class including his friends started laughing.
Aur le pange 🤡
Pls-💀💫
Bro, I wish to have your confidence, screenshoting this 😂
Reply
So he said that he'd make your butt hurt, and you replied back that he will never become a father? Lmao
It's bollywood movies which promote this mindset that stalking and eve-teasing is normal and consent is not required. This would've majorly contributed to Indians mindset
@Red Carpet they used to since just a few years ago
@Red Carpet i don't think it was long ago when kabir singh was released and pati patni aur woh was released.
bollywood movies make teens think stalking, saying 'i'll kill myself if you don't love me back' 'i'll harm myself for you' ' you need to do whatever i say' is ok when its not. the 'i'll break your seal' and constant jokes about women's body is disgusting, homophobic, trans-phobic and dehumanizing women jokes are not okay. and its teens who say these things and they think it makes them "cool"
@@shobharani8397 i am a student myself and I've heard alot of 'ill break your seal' comments ABOUT ME and all the other guys just laugh it off? They're just threatening to rape me nd it's a joke??? Even I told the teachers but they didn't do anything except slapping them but they continue to do it again and again.
I stopped going to morning assemblies and be near guys because of how scared I felt.
@@shobharani8397 ^-^ I'm happy you found your comfort in them. I too decided to stand up for myself after I came to know about them. I always blamed myself since I was 5 for all the sexual harrasment and abuse I faced. I decided to stand up for myself and feel powerful because I have a voice which should be heard, as they said. My parents did not do anything when I told them. Whenever I see the harraser he gave a creepy smile, but after I felt worthy, I screamed at his face in public to make him embarrassed and it worked. he doesn't do that anymore.
I still haven't recovered from what has happened to me for years and still happens but due to pandemic we don't even go out so I'm okay but now I know how to believe in myself I'd never blame me for what had happened. I've learned to accept myself, still on the path to love myself. let's all learn to accept ourself so it wouldn't be hard to stand up for yourself without wanting other people to do it for you ♡
@@shobharani8397 omg you're so sweet T^T borahae! i hope you're doing good too and you're comfortable. wanna be friends though? do you have insta?
It's really sad to hear whenever a girl is sexually harassed then people even our leaders as well started blaming n judging girl's character & her outfit. Don't know when these stupid mindset bunch of idiots will grow up. 🙄 THIS VIDEO IS REALLY NEEDED. INDEED.
Blaming rape/sexual assault victims is the thing that angers me the most....I just can't express how much.....and the people who do that don't know what do they lack the most sympathy, humanity, common sense or all of it?? How does those who label themselves as "human beings" can not sympathize with the most horrible thing that can happen to a woman??? Also how casually people make excuses for such barbaric acts is equally horrifying and makes you question humanity.
Exactly most of the times it's women protecting men after such cases and it makes my blood boil, we are in 21rst century but the brain such people who led looks like they were from 10000s years ago
its not hard to dress decently
@@sugarhiccup2584 Congratulations, you totally missed the point 👏🏻👏🏻
@@leedlbagginshield8492 its still not hard to dress decently..for you and yourself
@@sugarhiccup2584 And it still doesn’t justify rape and abuse
Once me & my friends were playing in my garden & there were some guys at a distance who started waving hi & passing comments on us. We were just 12-13 at that time so we told my mother about it. My mother, instead of confronting those guys, told us that we should get inside the house. I swear her action hurt so badly that now I know if something like that happens to me again, my parents would be the last ones to know (or I might not even tell them).
@@Rahul-ho8dx Pehli baat, humlog (mai aur mere dost) unlog ko jaante tak nahi the. Aur agar koi hume roadside chhapri ki tarah Hi bolega ya wave karega, to wo *bilkul* galat hai. Aur shayad aap ye nahi padhe ki wo log comments bhi pass kar rhe the. So definitely their actions were not comfortable to us
@@Rahul-ho8dx you're a very cheap person how could u even defend such behaviour by saying that kya pata ussko kids psnd honge? Wtf Shameful
@Akansha Paul true
@Akansha Paul No. I'm not going to provide any sort of clarification to people like @Alone rider . I just hope nobody from his family has to face catcalling in the name of someone being *"Sweet or Friendly"*
@@Rahul-ho8dx shut up dude. Everyone is seeing your mentality
Women need to take charge of changing their culture one family at a time.
1. Marry only once u r independent
2. Find a partner that shows utmost respect and care, zero tolerance
3. Take risks
4. Don’t b afraid of failure
5. Don’t have kids unless u have complete commitment and devotion of a partner for at least a period
6. Help/encourage girls/women when they fight for themselves regardless of them winning or loosing at their task/purpose
7. Expect basic decency standards from boys/girls towards their own self respect, if anyone puts them down fight for their dignity to show how important self respect is. Never let anyone talk down to them
8. Education and diversity training is essential to compare and contrast own culture. It’s important to see what strengths and weaknesses r in ur own family/country/culture to lead a healthy life
Most importantly, don’t talk down to YOURSELF. And forgive urself, learn and do better once u know better.
I totally agree with you
Add one more point in our list, that women are also sexual beings. They also love sex as much as men i.e women should have a knowledge of sex education.Most of the Indian women even don't know what is clitoris is.
Add one more point
9) *The Guy must be handsome as* _Zayn Malik and Hrithik Roshan_ .... *Otherwise a female would never marry or even talk to him*
@@villain2617 or maybe he should have self respect (that is too have dignity in themselves and put forth their needs reather then giving their self respect to the girls they are chasing) and should have a equality mind that "We both are needed in this world and all the genders too, no gender is superior and no gender is inferior" and maybe should know what is toxic masculinity and what is them, and to be able to fight for him and in return he just needs just a lil bit of support from us(the women)
@@geetkahar nothing matters just the boi needs to be Handsome ... A woman always chooses a Handsome Abusive boi over A Decent Cooperative and Respectful Boi ... I see this everywhere ..... Those who smoke, drink, Stalk and cat call gals r always in relationship - notice this around you
I still remember the incidence happen to me when I was just a teenager. I was going to my relatives house with my family in bus when a man start staring at me. He was staring at me so intensely that even if someone stand between us he pushes that person aside so that he could stare at me. I was sitting exactly opposite of his seat and this incident was watched by whole bus including my parents and yet my father told me it was my fault that I was seeing him and it was my fault that he stare at me. Because apparently if wasn't watching him then I wouldn't have known that he was staring at me than hence proven that it was my fault 👍
Tf? Its defenetly not your fault! You should've spoken gurlll... Its quiet disturbing that your father said that 💔
@@jinhitofficial6881 well I am now a spoken person but at that time I wasn't that great to deal with such situations. I grew up in such circumstances where I grew up believing that if someone molest u then u should run away instead of fighting. Maybe it's not there internation because they grew up with mentality too. No one make them understand it's wrong from another person end not our fault.
@@stutikhanna987 💔Hope you're doing good now...
chappel kholke lagana tha dono ko hi
It's all because Men Are Never taught to ask woman about her consent and they just think that she ✌ my woman ✌ and I can do anything to her whenever, whatever and wherever I want. This is the basis of a marriage.
But no one thinks that how traumatic it is when you are forcefully ask to do which is out of your imagination you can't even have control over your body, even if it's yours. there is a constant feeling of that ""your body is here to serve men"" and this is the disgusted feeling ever.
And women are taught to take men's consent before sex? Just face it, nobody cares about consent in India
This is why people nowadays prefer love marriages
It's better to know someone from a long ago their personality, their perspective, their manners, and lot more ...... 👍
If men are brought up with the same restrictions the women are then I am sure, society will be a good place to live.
What makes you think men don't have restrictions?
@@Nimish204 i said "SAME" restrictions. I am not saying boys dont have any
@@apporvaarya different sure by but not any better
@@apporvaarya nah, More like both having no restrictions(mostly) Like in Europe and in the west. This option seems better
So basically, from medieval times to now, the victim is blamed for the perpetrator's promiscuity? Have we really evolved?
Indeed,we have evolved,but unfortunately in backward direction
Unfortunately the more world i see, and i hate to admit ...the more disappointed I get.
The boy's upbringing is to be blamed. And the boy/man himself. I say this cause I come from.a house where the boy is God and I was treated like crap. I can see the impact of this on my brother who is a real MCP. I believe my brother was probably born a bit bad (meaning his personality was not that great anyways) and my mom's upbringing created a monster.
And why I say my mom's upbringing? Cause she shames anyone who wears revealing clothes, including my niece. And says such disgusting things about those girls. I am ashamed!
Internalized misogyny 🤦♀️ misogynistic anties are also to be blamed.
Same. My mom shames my friends for their clothes, their short hairs, and their upbringing☹️
@Impersonal Immigrant Not really but their mentality is young people's enemy. Blame it on patriarchy 🤦♀️
Cut ties with your brother.
People should always know that nobody has right over others personal space or body irrespective of what ye or she is wearing one who crosses the personal space of other is wrong . Its the assaulter who has invaded the personal space of the victim and not vice versa.
its not hard to dress decently
@@sugarhiccup2584 neither is it to just mind your own business and let people live as they want .
@@Shkk well then be ready for the consequences tbh.
@@sugarhiccup2584it's not hard to not be a rapist :)
All you have to do is not rape see? easy peasy lemon squeezy
@@sugarhiccup2584you genuinely think clothes are the reason for rape?? You’re so naive lmaoo. It never was about the clothes at all. Never and will never be
It doesn't matter how many sexual partners the person had, it dosent matter what they are wearing, it doesn't matter where they go, it doesn't matter who their friends are, doesn't matter how you're related to them - ANY NON-CONSENSUAL SEXUAL ACTIVITY IS A CRIME
Exactly.
so true
It does matter in terms of putting you in danger.
Yeah, he is committing the crime but the victims is being foolish too.
@@CaptainBones222 typical victim blaming. Most rapes are done by people the victim knows and trusts like a family member, friend, family friend, not strangers.
@@therealgrimreaper68 Most car crashes happen between sober drivers. Should we stop telling people not to drive drunk? The reason why most rapes happen between people that know eacy other is becuase people spend most of their time with people they know.
Not because the people you know are more likely to rape you.
It is still foolish to be out alone at night even if most rapes are not recorded in those situations. It is foolish to be out during a thunderstorm even if being struck by lightning is rare.
I believe that people are not even aware of the term consent because of which such crimes happen .....
I know what is consent.
@@Rahul-ho8dx congratulations
@@Nimish204 let us have a party together🦸🥳 🧥🥳 🤹.
@@shobharani8397 Bahut cringy lagta jab tumlog Party ko Pawri bolti ho .... Pata nhi hasi bhi kaise a jata hai tumlog ... Kya kar sakte hai pure India me tumhare jaise Normie hi bhade huye h
I think it shouuld be taught in school as very important Topic and Every boy should or Must know abut it Even in Rural Government Schools And Colledges
Honestly whenever anyone says that her clothes were provocative I always womder how did my ankle length school uniform manage to do the same provocative thing.
I'm so sorry. How are you today?
2:42 whenever I see some stranger looking at me or my clothes in public places, I deliberately make eye contact with them and they look away
Avoiding eye contact will make them think that I'm ashamed of what I'm wearing and they think they have the right to ogle. Toxic nature of the society 😔
Make eye contact to assert your dominance. The other person will automatically look away. Lol
@@aarush3603 exactly
Otherwise it'll be that the girl is ashamed of the clothes she likes and wants to wear
@@sup4818 don't tell lies . U too feel good n horny when strangers look at ur short clothes n nude parts of ur body. U just do the hypocrisy of anger but silently u loves it. Pyaar wala gussaa.
@@gauravsrivastava9149 wtf ? What kind of disgusting creature are you ? Do you think it's your right to start at someone and make them uncomfortable. I hope one day y'all will start seeing women as humans rather than just objects meant to satisfy your sexual needs.
@@gauravsrivastava9149 yeah sure
I like it when some strange narcissistic man looks at me while I'm buying bread from a shop wearing shorts and a t shirt in Lucknow's summer.
Please do me a favor and stay in a little bubble your parents created for you cause people like you spoil everyone's day
You know, there was person in my section in school, who thinks people shoud use rape as a torture method, I mean whats wrong with him? Rape is a very bad thing, but torture method, rape, what???? This mentality of people thinking rape is to be used as punishment is like leading factor to rape. I mean whattt?? This is so wrong!
So many people are like this. There are many other sick mentalities. Like once I was talking to a stranger online on domestic violence. In the flow of words, when I asked him what is his thought on rape, he said, when men can't get sex legally, they try to have it by force. Then I asked what is this legal sex, he said a wife. If he marries a woman, it is perfectly fine to use her body according to his needs.
I agree man. The answer is to sexual assault isn't more sexual assault.
Can you make a video about people who believe "love only happens once". This mentality can emotionally distress people. I have seen people living with their abusive partner because of this mentality. And some people even refusing to move on because of this
It's always been easier that way to shift blame.
The video couldn't be more right !! If a dog gets mad , it is killed ; if I a person goes mad , that person should be sent to rehabilitation but when it comes to sex violence suddenly the blame is busted on the victim ! If the guy behaving unacceptably than he should be guarded inside the house not the person whom he misbehaved !!!
It also happens to little girls who don’t even understand the meaning of any of this.
It happened to me when I was less than 5 yrs and yeah I didn't know what it was, so told my mom only when I was 20.
@@user-bw8yn3zr1s I am so sorry that that happened to you. 😞
Something I learned not to blame myself if anything happens
A big reason for many victims not coming forward and lodging a complaint is our movies which shows wrong things like her character will be questioned, she will be shamed etc which is not the case now. There are some recent progressive movies also but majority are contrary. Thanks to the new laws.
To let everyone know these cases are being dealt with more concern and sympathy towards the women compared to yester years. It is an offence to talk about the victim character, reveal her name. Public is not allowed to view such proceedings. Never be scared to get your offender behind bars
Yes I agree. Even news papers and channels cannot reveal the victims identity as ordered by the supreme court.
Yeah but there's still a big problem of revealing the alleged rapists face before judgement. I' don't know when that will be corrected
unless everyone talks about this freely in their homes nd school's collages etc this is not gonna stop at all we need to educate more people about this please spread the word
The editing and research that goes behind every video on this channel is mind boggling..why don't they have like millions of subscribers?
I remember I was around 10 or 11 and two of my neighbors aged between 14-16 used to harass me by saying "mujhe kiss karona or mujhe hug karona" and stuff like that. I was so dumb back then that I used to take it as a joke but now that I look back at it I feel really disgusted
Disgusting. How could a person do that and feel No guilt or humanity whatsoever?
👏😐
I never understood this victim blaming behavior. I was Like what kind of a dck would do that.
Hey abdul. I see you in pinecreek videos 😀🤘
Yes! Thanks
Nirbhaya ke case mein bhi toh aisa hi hua tha.....woh ek Rapist ke interview bhi lia gaya tha, us harami ne tho kaha tha....ki *"Aisi Larkio ke saath aisa hi hona chaiye, yea kiyun itni raat tak ghoomti reheti hain?"*
@@arb1897 uss ch**ye ne toh yeh bhi bola tha ki "agar ek shareef ladki raat ko akele ghoomegi toh kya hoga" itni bhudhi kahan se laate hai log pata nahi?
@@pichis7497 yea Mentality bara hi Intersting hain, you really think they should have got Hanged? They deserve, they really do.......but I think, ki unko Life Imprisonment mein dalkar, inks upar Research karna chahiye, ki kiyun? Yea aurto ko Raat ke bakt hi, inke Taraf ki Izzat marr jaati hain?
Victim blaming is very common in India.
A woman's character or sexual history has nothing to do with sexual violence.
I want to share my experience. In our school teacher arrainges lectures about sexual harassment only for girls and not for boys! Where they used to tell us how to talk, how to wear cloths etc. At last our teacher asked us for questions, I asked a question to lecturer that why do we blame only girls for rapes and why don't we teach boys how to behave , how to talk with girls, etc.. Then our teacher didn't answer my question and told to sit down. No one listened my question.
From that time I am angry on this rubbish mindset..
The answer is can girl rape a boy ?
@@mrtriyja7800
Respected sir, even boys do face sexual harassment. These lectures imp for them also..
@@sakshijadhav5554
Technically no .
It's very rare .
That's the difference between male and female.
They r not equally vulnerable .
Don't believe what bs
PROSTITUTE MEDIA feeds you .
About women power blah blah ....
@@mrtriyja7800 you really are living in the other dimension aren't you?
@@rashishree721
I just tell the harsh reality without flip flop .
Point me where I am wrong .
Maam
How did your family and friends react to the first instance of sexual harassment you experienced? I keep thinking back to that. It was so formative and such a big part of this attitude to holding women responsible for sexual crimes rather than holding perpetrators accountable.
the family will tell the survivor to stay indoor and will not take any legal action against the preparator.
@@shobharani8397 same
I didn't tell them at all. What's the point? It's not like anything could have been done.
i did once when i was 8 they didn't do anything, i said once again when i was 12 they didn't do anything. so i stopped saying.
It's appalling that even in the executive and judiciary there is always a policing of the survivor's "character" making it seem as though sexual violence to some people are more justified than others. Society as a whole needs re education on such matters.
I used to think not looking the eyes of a boy was something I came up with myself during school days to protect myself. Hearing that said here, I don't know what to say. I wonder if I was subconsciously made to think that was how I should behave.
I am atleast glad I got out of that mindset and I know the familial life society wants me to have is not worth going through all of the biases they are going to suffocate me with again. I'll escape this. 😐
Rape isn't always about sex.. It's about power.. So it doesn't even matter what we wear.. It's just an excuse to justify their shitty mindset and actions.
I'm feeling guilty as a men by reading comments even though i haven't Ever did anything wrong with girls
because of few whole community is being blamed And innocent are suffering 😢
Laws are actually made to protect the accused and harras the victim even more...
Except if the accused is innocent. Then the accused must pay
Obviously! Laws, army, police were created to hold the status-quo of government by force and not to help common people.
Those who dislike this knowledge video must known as ' धरती का बोझ'
So ture
Recent incidents of victim blaming only show us how far we are from change
THIS IS BECAUSE THE EGO OF SOME PEOPLE IS SOO FRAGILE THAT EVEN WOMAN TRYING TO SEEK JUSTICE IN THE SOCIETY AND THE COURT FEELS THREATENING TO THEM
The victim is never at fault. It's only and only the assaulter's fault.
Everyone school and parents must now teach boys how to behave.
Women do not need protection when you all men try to ask for our consent & understand our emotions. A true Women always need love and respect.
We will learn to defend ourselves, they must learn to respect everyone
First women should learn to respect men , love his soul not his money, he is a human being not a Bank ,
If she treat him as King then he will treat her as Queen ...it comes both the way
@@moMdaD-fm3ng what does that have to do with rape? 💀
@@sampriyasingh5600 so did I said anything related to rape? ☠️
SOCEITY: Take responsibility for you sexual assault.
*me takes out my swords and knifes*
ME: SURE!!!!
(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง
@morir perra ayy
@@normalguy11.11 ayy
@Shalini Gautam modern problems modern solutions
As you should queen 😌
I have this habit of zoning out and humming a song, even when I'm in public. My mom always scolds me because "boys can consider humming songs as invitations"
@Idont Evenexist I'm sorry it happened. But I tried to explain to mom and kinda understands now. Like I have been trying to change her thinking, little by little.
@Idont Evenexist kids?😂😂 arent you like 15?
I feel that sexual crime against women is so rampant that instead of better enforcement of laws, the easy route always ends up being blaming the girl. Every argument, justification, logic dies in the face of, " par izzat toh tumhari gyi na, uska toh kuch nahi hua". It's so frustrating!.
I think without consent no one does anything.
@@mrtriyja7800 criminals take consent of their victims, yeah sure
Women in saree, salwar kameez and burqa get raped. Children get kidnapped from places filled with people. People who lock their houses also become victims of theft. All of the above does not imply you would not take precautions. Start being logical. Instead of actively protecting your children by not sending them out alone, why don't you teach kidnapper not to kidnap? Because in that case you are logical. However, when it comes to women, all the logic evaporates. Now don't say that women are not children and they have agency. This is not a question of agency. It is a question of safety and precautions.
Exactly....this same mindset also appears in many other incedents at small level
when someone steals man's wallet,pulls jewellery of a woman, in a fight if boy is beaten then family members says it's your fault you shouldn't have to be there......
It's always easier to fix the blame than to fix the problem.... and nobody seems interested in fixing this particular problem , anyway . Perpetrators have been encouraged by this attitude and only become bolder .
I think that most of the people who are commenting here are not like that in real life. If we want change in our society then we should first change ourselves.
Change society's mind
Why do we victim blame?
The answer is simple: It's a defense mechanism, because we don't like to think that bad things can happen to us.
I was abused when I was a child, now who is to be blamed..?
You should study the teachings of Lord Krishna.
When he was born, death was waiting for him. However, he did not walk down the path of evil.
Often times, people bring up their traumatic childhoods as a way to justify themselves doing evil actions as adults.
Your abusive relatives are probably dead, it's time for you to move on and build a future for yourself.
@@saimaharaj109 get lost
Sita ko bachane ke liye ram the
Draupadi ko bachane ke liye Krishna the
Hame bachane ne ke liye koi nahi??
Aur inme kabhi nahi bataya ki Sita ya draupadi ki galti thi....
So now why are the victums blamed? ??? 😩
Ram tested sita to see if she was virgin. He made her walk on fire path to prove that after he saved her from raavan. Sita walked without getting a single scratch then killed her own self since her husband didnt trust her thats the story ive heard
but men ko bachane ki liye koi nhi hai. not a single law for men.
@@user-vw2bn6qi2l
Ram did trust Sita it was the people of his kingdom that didn't trust Sita!! So Sita performed the Agni pariksha
He never ever distrusted Sita. He just wanted to regain the respect society has given to Sita before. Its just to clear the doubts in the mind of people. It is clear that it was "Raj Dharma
@@user-vw2bn6qi2l your story you have heard is wrong agni pariksha was done to replace fake Sita with real one.
@@redpilled4872
Thats also true... government has not taken any action
ya u are also right 👍
Yes so true all these things are so commonly seen and the worst part is that feeling of helplessness that comes with it ..
Gender neutral laws are the need of the hour
Absolutely
Nahi hoga
Which law r u referring to as being one sided?
@@RojaJaneman rape law
@@RojaJaneman
1.) rape law
2.) sexual harassment
3.) voyeurism
4.) stalking
5.) domestic violence
In India legally all these crimes can only be committed by men and victims are always women. This needs to be gender neutral so that everyone can get justice and every criminal is punished irrespective of its gender.
Here I want to register an incident that happened in our state,a 17- yr old girl was harassed by her teacher.At first,the teacher used to flirt with her through chatting,and then taught lessons private and later he harassed her.When she complained it to the principal,she gave irresponsible and worst answer like,"You are equally guilty for replying to his flirts and going out with him(even though for learning).,Just leave this issue,also will u question things that happen to u in public like buses and trains.....That girl was really very depressed for months and committed suicide later...This was filed as a case and spoken all over the state but later people have forgotten and there was no clear judgement to the injustice happened to the girl as they framed the guilt on that girl itself.I really shame on our society who just blame the victims and leave the perpetrators
The fact that this channel has not monetised themselves came as a shock to me. The respect grew unlimited then.
*The Post is Sensitive So I won't Troll Anyone Today* 🔥....
_Waiting for community Post_
best bro..My respect for you 📈🤩✌
@@tanveerfarooqui1901 wait for community post graph with go down
@@villain2617 nope. That would be an open arena so I wouldn't blame you there (unless it's something really offending)but you keeping your boundaries here is what is admirable.. so respect remains 📈🤩✌
@@villain2617 so you are a normal dude, after all.
Bhai😂
Ijjat🙏
The scary part is this getting normalised in the society..
Can you please make a video on the thing where people say,"ek aurat ki sabse badi dushman ek aurat hi hoti he." This is just irritating.
I think this line is true.
@@surbhikumari870 how? any example
@@ToT109 In my society one girl was wearing shorts and there were two aunties who started talking about her they said that how shamelessly she is wearing shorts the ways they looked her made me her so uncomfortable there many examples.
Kuch galat nahi h uss statement me
sadly but this line is true .. :)
It's never the victim's fault
Our motive should be changing the society but until it's done, at least our legal system should use brains to give rulings but apparently 'Rational Decisions' is too much to ask from Indian Legal System.
Thanks for taking such an initiative and speaking out on these topics! Unfortunately, the society we are in still continues questioning a woman's morality by playing this blame game. But when people like you try taking steps to reiterate some basic sense and sensitivity to the society, I believe we can dream of a world where a woman can confidently walk out, any time of the day!
When I was sexually harassed, people told me I should have just enjoyed it because she was a woman.
@@Nimish204 this society is so messed ypu know it makes where a man is stereotyped has s hyper sexual creature where he should enjoy sex even when it's against his consent.
1.) if man gets raped by woman he supposed to enjoy.
2.) if woman gets raped by a Man then she attracted him he was unable to control.
So in both cases society only blames the victim not the preparater not one who has invaded the personal space of someone.
That thing..dont make an eyecontact with males is really true I'm an adolent and belive me when I was 12-13 I've accidently made an eyecontact with a male and I was laugh for an another reason...but everyone was staring me as I've done a crime....all the blame was on me no one was accepting that their brain is dirty, not of ammature 12-13 years old girl and that was really painful...
blaming the victim is just like if someone is robbed it's his/her fault that they are rich.
I'm so grateful to this channel for just existing.
the v first time i was non consensually felt up was at the age of six, it took me five fucking years to realise that was my first encounter w assault and it didn't stop there. the fact, people constrain women to homes and their definition of "safe clothes" tells me more abt the flawed society we live in, rather than as they say, the "character" of a woman.
The most heartbreaking thing is that you won't even remember at eleven the name of your friends you had at six but you remember this disgusting thing.
A 6 year old assaulted you??? In senior kg?? Hmmm...??
@@giornogiovanna4117 umm.. Read their comment again😅
@@giornogiovanna4117 They said that they were assaulted at the age of six and not by someone who was six
Just like to add that before any opinions are formulated regarding any crime that the narrative in congruence with the evidence is established first.
Too many people pick their sides based on conjecture or even opinions before the actual story comes out.
Ofcourse, beyond that - blaming a victim over the degeneracy of a sex offender is something you'd only expect to see holding ground in this country.
☺️ couldn't agree more. 💞
Thanks for taking my suggestion! (probably): why women's character is questioned first?
The criminal must commit to the crime for the crime to occur. It just can't be victims's fault.
i want you to raise this topic that why females of a house are called as IZZAT bcoz when we say beti ghr ki izzat hoti ha that is where all begins bcoz then a girls body her choices everything about her bceomes the property of their family n khaandaan and thats the biggest problem why girls r blamed...being a girl i dont want to be called as izzat of my family..i want to be an individual who has her own personal choices n stand for herself..but jab aapko ghr ki izzat baap ki pagdi vgerah vgerah bolte ha to koi ye ni dekhta ke samne wale ne aapke sath galat kiya sirf ye dekhte sbhi ki hmari izzat gyi ha or us ldki ko apni authority property bana liya jata ha..or isliye use blame kiya jata ha
Thank you so much for covering this topic. Keep up the great work. :)
take me from written swaddle is going to play a big role in changing peoples mindset in india
Even if they do people arent willing to change except few 😵
Please make this in hindi🥺
I need to send it to many people
Please make a video on, "Why indians are so obsessed with fair skin?"
Thanks, Anurag! Stay tuned over the next few drops 😉
Generally fair skinned people are smart as i observed them .
Just an observation .
@@mrtriyja7800 😂😂 Lol
@@normalguy11.11
Yeah , I mean just look at how many inventions Africans did.
You guys are doing a great job! Keep it up ❤️
The last line literally gave me goosebumps 🥺❤️