Brandon's Cult Movie Reviews: SORCERESS
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- Опубліковано 15 жов 2024
- I tackle the crazy Roger Corman produced fantasy movie "Sorceress", which features horny goat men, permed barbarians & flying blue lion gods! Although oddly enough, no sorceress...
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Who says a movie called "Sorceress" actually needs to have a sorceress in it? Not Roger Corman!
Roger Corman's favorite spell is Titticus Appearicus
Hey Brandon. If you're looking for cult movies, use the Vudu streaming app. It's free.
Hey Brandon! I have a question. You made a review for 3 Tales from the Crypt movies,but why didn't you review the 1972 Tales from the Crypt movie from Britain? It's on youtube for free btw.
I know right!!
Will you do William Fridckin's another masterpiece: Sorcerer(s ·1977)?
Wait the villain's name is Trigon??? Guess that's why he wants her daughter back, he wants to turn her into Raven.
I’m sick of cheating on him with the monkey
That line is genius
The best part of these 80's swords-&-sorcery ripoffs is definitely the Boris Vallejo poster art. I loved that guy as a kid.
David Hanson so very true.
'80s.
They feel like the paintings of Frank Frazetta.
CapMar-Vell92 Returns
That’s who Boris was influenced by most.
I’m 26 now, but it brings me so much nostalgia from when I was kid in Brazil. All of these corny movies Brandon reviews would play on some random channel down there back in 2001. Prob was too young to have watched them tbh 😂
I saw this in the theater when it was released... with my mom... who was psychotically prudish lol. But she taught Latin, Spanish, English and had taught college Mythology classes. She wasn't embarrassed anymore when Pan showed up and she was like, "Oh! A Satyr!".... and began to rattle off tidbits of mythological lore IN the theater. The audience was comprised of fans of such things lol.
Watching this with your mother was probably excruciatingly awkward, I bet, once it got to the part where Mara is getting some D and her twin moans all over the floor...
I begged my mother(teacher) to take me to Conan when I was 11. Oh she tried dragging me out of the theater 3 different times... Lol
Pando is a satyr, and him being a pervert is really the closest this movie gets to being historically accurate.
You mean Mythologically correct.
To be fair, i wouldn't resist the charm of twin blonde ass kickers.
Yum yum.
@@MinscFromBaldursGate92 I wouldn't either, especially if one is a redhead ...
It's not history. Also I'm pretty sure girls like these would only touch you with a 2x4. 🤣
The twins were smokin hot, shame they weren't in more movies, they at least deserved someone better than Brilo -cles McGooberDouche as they're.....love interest?........toyboy?......semi-Intelligent walking dildo?
I'll bet Pando is a distant relative of Torgo. They even have the same legs.
@Van Maiorano Nah, each step would just make MEME goat sounds.
theblocksays Or replace the goat sounds with desert rain frog sounds...
Torgo was actually meant to be a satyr like Pando, but the leg prosthetics didn't really work. Of course, that was the least of Manos's problems...
I'm so glad these comments have some MST influence to them.
@@BeeDub57 The prosthetics worked fine-the actor was just a knob and wore them backwards. Most likely because he was tripping balls on tabs the entire time.
"Hello girls. You may remember me as Hindu Chris Christopherson from earlier. But apparently, I'm Moses now."
Check this one out. He's been a singer/songwriter/Hollywood player for years. www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/11316168/kris-kristofferson-talks-about-hit-movie-a-star-is-born-barbra-streisand-and-johnny-cash/
I thought of Moses when I first saw Corona or whatever his name is.
I feel like Pando can be explained by an old rule of Latin American film making: "The comic relief in a low-budget Mexican movie SHALL be a creepy perve."
You don't believe me? Just watch a few. You will.
The "dwarf" guy looks cool. He looks like a life size version of an old Ral Partha Dwarf D&D mini.
He was suppossed to be a viking I think.
@@arcotroll8530
Could be both.
Dwarf vikings are a thing in fantasy
@@thatonea-hole Yes, but a tall dwarf? Can you think of a bigger oxymoron?
@@walbergverissimo2815 what
I thought he was the dwarf pc from Golden Axe.
I suggest Brandon review the bad, but good-hearted, sword & sorcery fantasy film "The Barbarian Brothers". It stars the identical twin bodybuilders Peter & David Paul. This movie has more manly-male awesomness than any fantasy film ever made!
It also stars Michael Berryman, who played the bald bug-eyed cannibal in the original "Hills Have Eyes".
Damn, I really miss all these 80s D&Desque flicks.
It took oh only 40 years to convince girls to play D&D.
What’s really sad is that the cat god vs witch head fight was still better effects than the dragon fight in Mortal Kombat Annihilation
Or the Cyber-Ninjas fighting, which still look worse than the Luke Cage vs Scorpion fight, or the Sub-Zero vs Scorpion fight in the TV series. :/
Nah. At least those things could move, somewhat. Here the bat-lion-taur thing just snarls at the Two-Face lady head until she explodes.
Later on that scene will be in another movie Wizards of the Lost Kingdom and shown on the recent MST3K. Anyway just check that out if your interested.
At 8:12 old girl in the back in the yellow dress couldn't hold herself back from laughing at dudes acting skill 🤣😂
A Brandon Tenold upload is perfect for brightening up a gloomy day.
You must live in Ohio if it's gloomy out.. lol
@@Buckeye_4_Life_ I live in Western PA and yep gloomy and gross haha.
@@andrewbard4648 it gets old doesn't it..? I live in western Ohio..I took a week trip last year to Pheonix Arizona and I did not want to come back.
@@Buckeye_4_Life_ I'm from Maine and holy damn u made up my mind I'm moving back this summer. The weather here suuuuucks!
@@andrewbard4648 Well I wouldn't think Maine would be mutch better..?
Ah this movie takes me back to the 80s, where I watched it as a little girl child.
I'd say the "lion monster" is a Manticore, but I can't tell if it has a scorpion tail.
It could be, but it also has a torso growing out of the place where the lion head would be, and the wings are attached to that... Also no, has no scorpion tail. I dunno why a god named Vital looks like this...
Well, manticores weren't always depicted with scorpion tails. Though, the fact that it has wings also makes it resemble a lamassu, an Assyrian protective deity, which would make more sense in this context.
@@RelativelyBest Yeah I got lamassu vibes from "Vital" or whatever its name is.
I saw this movie on UA-cam listed as “Educational”. It was very educational. After it was over I knew what boobs looked like.
That's VERY educational!
Just like the Barbarian, I too didn't know what a woman was.
You never get too old to be educated. You can go on learning throughout your life.
4:37 So this is where Aphex Twin got his Window Licker look from!
"An d this chick who brought some black bars with her". 😂
Greatest male perm in film
history
1-Shelly+ friday 13th part 3
2-Akton-starcrash
3-erlick-sorceresses
Brandon, you lovely, lovely man you. Now that you've made me aware of this fine piece of cinematography I have ordered a DVD copy from eBay, and I'm now sitting here rubbing my hands in glee in anticipation of its arrival.
16:35 So now we know what happens when you try to summon 2 final fantasy summons at once! You get THAT abomination!
I wonder if it's as strong as Bahamut... Or if it's effectively worthless in battle 🤔...
“They are....gIrL cHiLdReN.”
Such a natural way of speaking.
So it Goes Dialogue 101
They keep saying that a lot of times in the movie. Makes me think the scriptwriter was mexican too... or did not speak english well.
Swift Nimblefoot I think they were trying to go for what they thought of as a more FaNtAsY uNiVeRsE way of speaking, and they just failed miserably.
Brandon's easily the best of the niche film review group of tubers and he deserves way more subs than he's got.
16:38 “Heart of a lion, and the wings of a bat, because it’s Midnite!”
Considering the Swastika was also a symbol of good luck & its on a dice. [& its not set in the 1930,s] Its safe to say that Erlick was into good fortune especially when he scored a 2 for 1 deal with the twins.
This movie is DnD. The orphans on a quest join other warriors of questionable morals one by one? Definitely an honorary campaign.
@Bonewulfe -- actually had a GM rip this movie's storyline right off, but they made the female leads NPC's we had to protect. Almost had a Tpk at the end(we were dumbbells and left the Maguffin Twins at camp "for safety reasons")...
Nowhere near enough collateral damage for one of our campaigns,looking back....our "heroes" usually caused more devastation than the bad guys. Pretty sure we drove the DM nuts too
"Roll to see if I'm getting drunk!"
That was always a large part of it
@@johnnysizemore5797 Heh, were the pervy undead wights?
These two also played the stripper twins in the 80's Mike Hammer movie "I, The Jury".
Please do Sword & The Sorcerer...that’s a damn cult classic!
That's my favorite 80s B-movie flick!
I’m not really sure how your videos hadn’t popped into my UA-cam feed until around 2 weeks ago but I’m really glad they have cause they’re cracking me up and they’re keeping me very entertained during this whole pandemic thing. Thank you!
Wasn't it established that the villain had 3 lives? He was snuffed twice, meaning there is still a chance for a sequel. Oh, boy....
Kinda figures that Jim Wynorski could only count to 2.
So this is the Corsican sisters?
I so appreciate these sir.
Once again, in the midst of watching some old vids and this new one pops up. Day is made👍
I keep imagining Pando's head peaking around the corner in Eraserhead.
There were less sorceresses in this film than I was expecting
I think the guy next to Erlick at 7:46 needs a black box, just in case.
love bargain basement chewbacca
I see that Traigon was a graduate of the Count Zarth Arn (Starcrash) school of movie villain speechmaking
Never heard of this movie but now need to listen to the soundtrack, James Horner is one of my favorite composers.
Heh, I knew the soundtrack sounded familiar. Like Horner's work from "Battle Beyond the Stars". :D
Nergalsama01 yeah, he was known for recycling tunes, still one of my faves though.
@@Nergalsama01 I think it is from that movie.
Black boxes: My work is never done.
I have been hoping for YEARS that you would review this film! I'm simply too poor to pay you to do so. Thank you, Brandon!
Me and my best friend saw this in theaters when we were in our early teens. First R rated film I am not mistaken. As cheesy as it is I enjoyed it back then.
Awesome! Evil Dead and Iron Maiden references in one video.
I remember renting this as a kid. My mom was less than pleased. Not sure if I should be proud or ashamed that I've seen nearly every movie you've covered thus far. Too many late nights with TNT, USA Network, Cinemax,etc... I also had a top notch local video store. Good times, Great oldies!
Also, didn't Crona mention that he'd kill the Sorcerer three times, and that the one in the opening was just the first? Did that ever mean anything? Are we to assume sometime in the future the big bad comes back to life and tries to sacrifice his daughter again, and needs to be put down a third time?
I literally came here today thinking "I hope there's more hilarious, shitty fantasy movie reviews." Thank-you, Brandon. Thank-you. 😌
#MagicReasons
This is a criminally under-subbed and viewed channel. I would never waste an hour + on some of these movies but I would watch a 20 minute show breaking it down in a hilarious way. DECAPITATIOOOOON
"The two who are one"? More like the two who have four, amiright? 🙄😬
.... your not wrong
Now you should do the other Sorceress. Or how about any Julie Strain movie, given how sick she is? She's probably been in more "cult" movies than anyone.
Oh, goodie! The black box will be doing overtime!
:)
"Just stand there and be pervy. It's what you're good at."
Was he talking directly to me there?
Reliving my teen years watching these"movies"is enjoyable and discovering this channel and host just adds to my entertainment. I never thought I'd encounter someone from Sask. making this kind of ...? Snarky Saskatchewan Sarcasm-master, my hat is off to you! I'm telling my sister (who still lives out there) to check your channel and see what she has to say. I think she will have a good laugh at least.Where do you send these from? If you live up north of P.A., I understand some of why as l also had the experience of spending my demented childhood and teen years being dragged up in a shitty little town that will remain unnamed. What a fun time that was watching these movies at two in the morning(except for the fact that there were more ads than movie). Still, when that's all there is to watch you just have to make the best of what it is and try to enjoy(however that may be). I wish this kind of show was around back then and am quite pleased to see it now-best of luck and fortune in the future!
Love this movie!! And Deathstalker! And Conquest! And...
The lion killing the witch - "super easy, barely an inconvenience"
07:15. Who are we kidding, B? That's like every school exam EVER!! :P
Thank you, I wasnt the only one thinking of Army of Darkness reference. And the villain look like a Mexican Laurence Fishburne.
Did anyone notice that Corman used James Horners score for "Battle Beyond The Stars"? Well, he cannibalized effects and props from "Battle" for "Galaxy Of Terror", gotta give him credit and props for stretching his budgets.
8:27 "Doublemint commercials must be as confusing as hell to them"
Mostly because there'd be tiny people in a glowing box singing to them, but hey, maybe the twin thing too.
Fantastic movie, I bought this on vhs not to long ago, I love the subtle connected universe of roger corman's sword and sorcery movies.
Heh, I am proud to have riffed well when our imitation William Katt kicked Miguel Fuentes by saying, "Perma Man!"
" meanwhile in iron maiden cober álbum" jajaja you are the best saludos brandom🙋
Roger Corman has produced 415 movies. It’s crazy to think he produced classics like Silence of the Lambs and Little Shop of Horrors
I love cheesy eighties movies, and this one is one of my faves. I am also a big Roger Corman fan, it started with the original Little Shop of Horrors...and I have been hooked ever since.
Trivia: there's a theory that Torgo from Manos was originally supposed to be a satyr.
Favorite Brandon line on here "And who the hell is this old hippie fuck!?" @ 2:24
2:26 - Holy marshmallowy badger dung. I thought that was Neil Breen when I heard the voice, but it had too much inflection to be the real Neil.
2:08, Tragons Choice!😂
The one movie Corman disowned. They don't make them like this anymore. And its on Amazon Prime for members.
Bought this movie in February it was good fun. It was bugging me throughout the movie that the helmets the Sorcerers men are wearing looked similar to the helmet Frodo wore at Morder to hide from the Orcs.
I watched this on Amazon Prime and I think that was what made me think that I'd seen you review this before when this review started.
4:37 That's either a faun or a satyr. It's basically a mythological representation of an out-of-control id (and/or libido). See also Pan. And they even named him "Pando!"
5:46 Before there was the Bill of Rights, there was the Magna Carta.
9:29 "Orangutan," not "orangutang."
12:27 No Crimson Twins reference?
17:34 Billy Idol borrowed that gesture from Elvis Presley.
yes yes I remembered this movie, I watch it as a kid. And what what triggered my memory back: THE IMPALING scene!!!!
Finally, a movie that I have actually seen beforr being reviewed!
I've seen Wizards of the Lost Kingdom and I love the cat god thing. If Roger Corman was going to rip off footage, I'm glad he used that footage.
7:38 She forgot to bring her black box to work.
Your videos never get old! I can’t remember the first video I saw from you a couple months ago but I’m glad I took the chance to watch it
Started watching your content a couple weeks ago. Have you by chance done a video on the film "Krull"? Watching your content has me watching some movies I have never heard of.
When they said they felt the same sensations we all knew were this was going
I talked the rest of my D&D group into seeing this with me during its theatrical run. One of them said afterward, "I am never letting you pick movies for us again."
"Meanwhile in an Iron Maiden album cover..." PLOL spit-take on computer keyboard... check.
14:00 Aaaaand again a Milestone of Cinema
Good re-use of the Battle Beyond the Stars music there Roger.
It's amazing how sometimes people will pick the most painful ways to kill themselves. At least on Beowulf Anthony Hopkins jumped out the window.
That hurts alot actually. You don't always die directly when you hit the ground.
Slu p4life yes.... MIDSOMMAR comes to mind...
"And this chick who brought some black bars." Stop it now! I'm cracking up! 😆
Hey Brandon, I hope you're doing ok during these pandemic times
7:40 - Pat Kilbane: "With this ring, I thee wed."
Chia Pet: "With this ring, I thee wed"
... 9 months later
6:52 - "NO GOD..... NO GOD! PLEASE NO! NO!... NO!... NOOOOOOOOO!".. senior
I would love to see you do movie comment during entire movies, you are the king of comedic snark.
Please do a review of Hobo With a Shotgun
It's a terrible movie, but well, it delivers what it promises, have to give it that. I think it's a waste of time reviewing movies that are bad on purpose. It's like making fun of how ridiculous a clown looks; um, they're meant to be that way, what's the point in pointing that out?
Troodon how is it a terrible movie? It’s an over the top grindhouse/ exploitation film (which is a nonsensical genre on it’s own) that doesn’t take itself seriously. It’s like evil dead 2 or army of darkness, you perceive it as a horror film, but then comedic elements are implemented and gratuitous violence and gore are so over the top it’s comical,
Ahh 80s Barbarian cheese movies, an old favorite :D
Traygon: BISHA SHAI'TAN ELASH NI'ID I SUMMON THEE...LOKAR!!
I saw this video once - and forget it. Now i see this video again. And your reaction at 4:39... timeless.
Ha! I just finished a marathon of every video on your channel. Then this showed up in my recommendations. 👍
Sorceress is one of the best Roger Corman movie since Forbidden World.
Wait wait wait wait wait...
Why is the "Battle Beyound the Stars" theme playing in this movie?! Ah, that Corman 🤣
The "lion monster" looks like one of my flying mounts from World of Warcraft...
This film should be best explained after several very large drinks and having your stomach pumped is the added bonus
I've been looking forward to this since you did Deathstalker! Hope you get to do Wizards of the Lost Kingdom, which used the stock footage from here.
This just feels like a porn film collided with a LARP
i cracked up at Miguel Angel Fuentes' dub voice
You should review Rock and Rule. It's definitely up your alley for your channel
My god.. When I saw this in the 1980s, I thought it was the worst movie ever made - bar none. I've seen it a couple of times with friends when we've had a Bad Movie Night - but we haven't done that for a long time. Seeing the clips in your "review" brought it all back - and plenty that I didn't remember! What a wonderful walk down a godawful side alley off of Memory Lane! Thank you for remembering this piece of schlock!