WE REACT TO REN: SU!C!DE - THIS HIT US HARD...
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- Опубліковано 8 чер 2023
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It's real. He wrote the last verse a lot later, after the Knox Hill interview. He said he recorded it raw without going back over it and perfecting it like he usually does. I don't think you can perfect something like that without losing the feeling of it
He has a comment in the original video comments that tells the story
@@QDog915 It is a text there too, but it is not pinned.
This is what Ren said about his friend Joe.....
Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write.
Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday.
I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again.
This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary.
Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe.
Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then.
On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left.
Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late.
Joe’s body was never found.
Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe.
As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.
My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew.
Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came. This will be my next release. You can turn on notifications by following the link in the comments below
During this campaign I will be raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I'll also be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the 'Freckled Angels' album directly to Joes family as a nice surprise gift. I will include links to the RNLI donation page below where 100% of the money will go to support them, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video, and have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of all the money raised.
Turn on notifications for the video here: ua-cam.com/video/n3JNtfi4Vb0/v-deo.html
Raising money for RNLI :
www.justgiving.com/page/ren-gill-1685546882254?Link&/ren-gill-1685546882254&
Freckled Angels album: renmakesmerch.com/products/freckled-angels-cd
��Presave Suic*de: found.ee/ren-suic-de
@@hilarycharman-2924 Thank you for posting this & I had been wanting LINKS to Rens Merch... bought the 3 CD bundle & Skreech & Jenny dolls ... & will continue in my $upport for REN however I can.
It's real he lost his best friend, the last verse is a tribute to his friend he lost
Hi guys, 7 days ago Ren posted this on his channel:
"Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write.
Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday.
I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again.
This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary.
Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe.
Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then.
On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left.
Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late.
Joe’s body was never found.
Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe.
As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.
My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew.
Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came. This will be my next release. You can turn on notifications by following the link in the comments below
During this campaign I will be raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I'll also be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the 'Freckled Angels' album directly to Joes family as a nice surprise gift. I will include links to the RNLI donation page below where 100% of the money will go to support them, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video, and have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of all the money raised."
Seeing a fat tear running down on Erics face, then looking at Kyle seeing him with red, glossy eyes. Respect, don't play it off. This is what a real reaction is, never fear to show it. This is what real art does to people.
This is Rens year tbh
definitely
I agree 100%
He definitely deserves it.
For sure
No, every year was Rens, your only now just realising it.
Ren doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve. He rips it from his chest and puts it on display for the world to see, to relate with, to have compassion for, to give hope, and tell you that YOU'RE NOT ALONE!! This is what the world needs. 💙💜
Wow! Well said… 💔❤️🩹❤️
That "weird turn" is exactly what it feels like on a day to day when you've lost someone close. You're going on about your business, having a great bouncy day, and then BOOM! One thing triggers a memory and before you know it, you're crying your eyes out. And that great mood of 2 minutes ago seems ages away.
I couldn’t agree more
You nailed that perfectly. My 13 year old son died (of natural causes)and you just summed up what my life is like almost daily since he's been gone......
Sorry for your loss
This comment is way too raw. So relatable. So true.
SUCH
a good way to explain it
Rest in peace Joe Hughes. Freckled angel. You are missed
If you are reading this you are loved. You would be missed. You are here for a reason. Love you All
Ren and Joe (the friend who is forever missing) will save so many people with this song and the conversations it is opening up in all corners of the internet today. It is incredibly important to see guys especially be openly vulnerable when listening, and not ashamed to talk about it. All the reactors who are helping normalise that are the lifeboats out there waiting for the lost.
And for those who find themselves in the water where Joe jumped, Ren has just raised 10k for the RNLI who helped search for him. He will be taking them the money in person in the next few weeks. He donated all the money from the premiere as, well as launching the fundraiser in Joe's honour.
The description on this video will tell you their story.
If my brother knew people like Ren existed, he wouldn't have left this planet the way the song portrays. I honestly believe he lost hope for humanity. I'm so grateful Ren is here to save others!!
@@arielbussart1305 The end part where he's grieving for Joe, IMO that's something that could help a desperate unhappy person take just a minute to think of who they're leaving behind. It took me a 2nd listen, but it's beautiful. I'm sorry for your loss ❤
Beautiful. In the end, Ren raised 21,000 pounds for the volunteer organization who searched for Joe’s body. I believe he also gave several thousand pounds of the profits from this song and “For Joe” to help out Joe’s parents. He is a stellar artist and human-being… 💔❤️🩹❤️
True, if i would've heard this song one day later it would've been to late. a huge thanks to Ren, because slowly everything is going a little bit better
@@Joy-wc4pw Thank you for using the last ounce of energy you had to be part of the world by listening to Ren, and letting his words, his music, and his story slowly anchor you back in. We're so glad you stayed.
It's Ren's birthday today and I have seen lots of people posting tributes, but this is the best.
Every life can only be lived one day at a time. It adds up, my friend. Keep going. ❤️
This song hits hard for those of us that have lost people to suicide. Especially when you read Ren's pinned comment on the song. Explains so much. 🌹🔥❤️
There isnt a pinned comment for me. Can you copy it please?
@@Rakku Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write.
Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday.
I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again.
This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary.
Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe.
Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then.
On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left.
Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late.
Joe’s body was never found.
Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe.
As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.
My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew.
Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came.
During this campaign I will be raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I'll also be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the 'Freckled Angels' album directly to Joes family as a nice surprise gift. I will include links to the RNLI donation page below where 100% of the money will go to support them, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video, and have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of all the money raised.
"it never really felt like the right time" hits me so fucking deep. Thats the only reason im still here.
watching reactions of Ren i can honestly say hes the master of tears and silence. the end of almost every video is silence from reactors. this one being true about his best friend really hits home
Agreed and I’d add breathing to that list. I find myself taking a deep breath with him when he does as well as holding my breath without noticing, and he uses it well in songs like Sick Boi when the therapist does the “breathe in, breathe out”
I'm sure that Joe loved Ren as much as Ren loved Joe and that he didn't intend to become Ren's cross to bear. It's unfortunate that those contemplating their end are so tortured by their demons that it doesn't occur to them that their decision will affect their loved ones for the rest of their lives. 😥💔
We do...
@@JournalsInTime Then why?
@Terry Allen often the pain becomes so great that it overshadows even the fact of hurting those close to us. And that knowledge adds to the cycle of pain too. And around and around we go...its not rational but its the reality some of us live in
Imagine hating yourself so deeply, that you know within yourself that it is selfish of you to exist a moment longer and burden the people you love. It's not that it doesn't occur that the act of us dying may hurt you, it's the personal knowledge that us existing will simply hurt you even more. We'll never get it right, we'll never make it better, we'll never be good enough to make it worth it. Better to end it all, and rip the bandaid off.
I don't think it's fair to say that people who contemplate ending their own life don't realize that their loved ones will be affected. Sometimes it's that very guilt that keeps them from doing it. Those that do it anyway don't do it because they don't realize. It's because they've convinced themselves that their loved ones will recover and be fine, or will even be relieved. They believe so little of themselves and their value in the world that they truly believe that everyone is better off without them and their selfish issues. It's not a lack of awareness.
It's real, he wrote the story in a few places. He also tells the whole story in the Knox Hill interview, and then that last verse was written after the interview and added to this song
Eric messing about with the chair like a happy child while Kyle is doing one of the most professional ads I’ve seen has to be the best start to my day that I’ve had so far😂 which is probably needed for such a heavy song like this one
also a small fact about the final verse, Ren had an interview with Knox Hill on his channel and they spoke about one of Ren's friends who committed suicide and he was too late to save him, apparently after that interview, Ren went and wrote that the last verse
Thanks for the heartfelt reaction guys.
this was real . Ren close friend lost his life from jump off a bridge like years ago when they where teens . He got a phone call in December from a friend of his and tell him what happens , and Ren run to the bridge he was to late . Ren has a page u can donate for his friend that he lost . His body was not found .. when I hear this song last night I close my eyes and I was tearing eye …
RENs story about Joe is in a lot of his posts recently leading up to this song. Very good to check it out 🫶🏻
I also have lost someone this way. Thanks for your awesome reactions ❤ much love
Rykerroad : this is a banger... unless it gets devastating.
Ren fans : wwaaiitt for it...
Great reaction brothers! Appreciate you boys! 👌🤌🤙🔥❤️
An absolute brutal reaction. And you both still look cool.
L8ve how Ren is bringing out everyone's vulnerability . ❤
Beautiful and Heartbreaking,R.I.P Joe Hughes ❤❤❤❤
Looking into both your eyes at the end showed the hurt everybody felt when watching this.i can't relate to this song as I've never lost anyone in that way but I been literally sat on a bridge myself ready to jump but knowing my son would be left without a father stopped me and the thought of the damage I would cause to others by jumping.
You aren't alone. I (Eric) struggle with the same thing. But my kids keep me here.
@@Rykerroad then I have big respect for you.i was in a similar situation to ren I got misdiagnosed with depression for 13 years and found out I had bipolar/PTSD and bpd all at same time so hit me hard but keep your head up man be proud your here and what you have acheived
@@Rykerroad also forgot to mention thankyou for being real men and bearing your souls in front of everyone.although I didn't cry at the track as I'm quite numb due to meds I did cry seeing you two hurting and that takes balls and real compassion so thankyou
Thinking of my daughter is what keeps me here. My husband died in my arms after a severe seizure and the ptsd, panic I'd feel every day, my depression, the guilt I couldn't save him, made me want to leave this earth. I couldn't bear to think my little girl wouldn't have either parent so that is more than enough to keep me here and push through and get the help to be a good mom for her.
I'm so sorry we are all struggling with these thoughts. Robert, I'm so glad you finally got properly diagnosed.
Eric and Kyle, I second Robert in saying thank you for your real and raw emotions❤
@@Rykerroad Same, but in my case it's my nephews. And a vow I made to myself MANY years ago now, that no matter how bad it get's? no matter How badly I don't want to live or be here... the Grim Reaper had better come get me himself... for I will fight tooth and nail until he does... Then I will give up the fight. but until then?
I will LIVE, I will LAUGH and I will LOVE! And on the days I can't do it for myself? I will do it for THEM! They ARE my life. MY life, is not mine to give. I suppose you can say I have given the rights to my life to them... I don't and will never regret that fact.
Ren he wrote this on his community page, about the song
Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write.
Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday.
I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again.
This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary.
Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe.
Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then.
On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left.
Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late.
Joe’s body was never found.
Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe.
As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.
My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew.
Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came.
During this campaign I will be raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I'll also be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the 'Freckled Angels' album directly to Joes family as a nice surprise gift. I will include links to the RNLI donation page below where 100% of the money will go to support them, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video, and have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of all the money raised.
Turn on notifications for the video here: ua-cam.com/video/n3JNtfi4Vb0/v-deo.html
Raising money for RNLI :
www.justgiving.com/page/ren-gill-1685546882254?Link&/ren-gill-1685546882254&
Freckled Angels album: renmakesmerch.com/products/freckled-angels-cd
Presave Suic*de: found.ee/ren-suic-de
I have listened to this song many times since it dropped and every time I cry with Ren, for Ren. I can't relate to losing some in this way but when I hear his pain I can't help but empathize deeply.
I will never tire of the chair pitch intro. 😂 Nice video guys. Very insightful. Ren has done a couple of interviews, the one with Knox Hill I think he touched on the circumstances of his friend's death. Worth checking his interviews out. He's been through so much and it adds a whole new depth to his lyrics once you know these things. He also wrote a song for his friend, titled "Freckles Angels". There's a live performance of it that is chilling.
What a beautiful soul this artist is!❤
"Unless this is devastating by the end..."
Oh my sweet summer child xb
When you said you were glad it was over, I knew exactly what you meant. That was my initial reaction. Such raw and real pain!
Then I went back and listened again. And again. And saw so much beauty and humanity in those moments. What a gift Ren has given us all!
It was a beautiful and heartfelt reaction 😢❤❤❤ Thank you, guys.
Watching a dream. YES! this gave me so much " waking life" vibes. Incredible
It's about his friend Joe it's totally real he was running to get to Joe but Ren was too late to save him and his body was never found
if you've listened or reacted to Forgot To Be Me with Chinchilla that song is sung live from the bridge Joe jumped from which makes that song more heart breaking when you know the background to the video
Another great reaction
The visual of this video is sick and Ren us becoming my fav new artist his lyrics resonate with a lot of people getting emotional is a norm
This is as real as it gets. So raw. I have never seen or heard anything like it
I'm a fan of Ren. I love Ren, and one of the reasons is; He is real. He shows what he is and what he feels. He dares to break the silence and talk about difficult subjects. The things we in today's society prefer not to show. On social media, we prefer to exhibit success and joy. But the comment trackers under Ren's music and under reaction videos give me hope.
Thanks for you 2. Great reaction. and all that needed to be said has been said ❤
When you loose someone close to you. You can't stop re-thinking what could have been done differently.. And it`s not a choice.. Its just there all the time.. What if.. Great reaction.. Shit i love Ren
Survivor's guilt is a real thing and some days is a real bitch to see the light at the end of the tunnel
Listen to the guilt Ren is feeling to not make it to the bridge in time to save his friend. He talks about it in his interview with KnoxHill. I hope he has found peace making this song in his honor. We have to let this guilt go or it will eat you alive. Obviously Ren has had unresolved feelings . Rest easy Ren , we all feel your pain.
A great testimony of true friendship and how the loss of your friend affects your life and every aspect of your every day ,reminiscing things and why's..
Ever since that song dropped i cry my eyes out,his amazing view about music changed my life and perspectives about friends,family..even death
Thank you❤
Wow ❤… I clicked on this video out of curiosity… I’m 58 years old and lost touch with the Music industry for a while now, Never heard of this REN but my oh my What a talent…❤
You two slayed it with this reaction. And man Ren is a poet.
It opens up so happy and catchy and even sounds like a song the radio would play.
I have never ever witnessed this amount of teary-eyed people after a track drop 🥺 he made every single one of us cry, face our emotions and sit with it
This song was about his best frien Joe who was unfortunately never found after he must have jumped off a bridge and rentrying to get there in time
Rens best friend Joe jumped from a bridge. Ren received a call and ran the 5 minute journey. Ri going Joe all the way. He was too late, Joe's body was never found. Joe is Rens freckled angel. ❤ we all wept last night. This song shows the devastation left by suicide, years and years later. RIP to Joe and my brother Mike ❤
And my best friend Caldonia ❤
So raw…as someone who’s lost several ppl to self harm…you hear your own heartbreak reflected in his anguish. So real. You can hear it.
This song definitely hits deep for a lot of us. Bet you wished you would of done this reaction last instead of the first one of the night
Oh no we prefer to do sad ones first. That way we can end happy.
That makes sense! I figure the next reaction you’d look like you were crying and all red-eyed
@@Rykerroad Happy ending? Well we all like one of those ahem.
As an unaliving survivor...this song hit me hard...i cant relate to the statement "it never felt like the right time" but the hook sure is catchy anyways...but the last bit talking about his best friend always gets me.
Specifically the line "to look down at tranquility...one movement to expose our fragility"...I cant even tell anybody how happy and peaceful I felt while I was dying...makes me cry every time.
My best friend committed suicide in January. This hits so deeply with me. I was supposed to be with him the night before and couldn’t make it. I miss and love you Tony.
I empathize… Lost my best friend to suicide under similar circumstances in 2015.
I was supposed to meet up with her but let work get in the way and bowed out. It is so f**king hard but we cannot let the guilt we feel take over our lives.
I struggle to this day.
I struggle and cry as I write this.
Just know that I’m sending you positive, healing energy and I’m so sorry for your loss and pain. You are not alone.
I lost my friend to suicide. It's still has an effect on me to this day.
The thing that hurts me the most is this guy helped ME get over my attempt but I couldn't help him from doing the same..... Miss you buddy 😭
I’m sure 8000 others will let you know but this is real. He lost his friend Joe. It’s a tragic event, as every single suicide is. Love to all watching, commenting and just passing through ❤
'Unless its devastating by the end, this has a great groove to it'
Me : oh lord you have no idea ... poor souls 😅
He's heavy! Hard not to relate to him, his style, lyrics, everything!
Im so glad yall saw this. I was stoked when i fi ally got to see it even tho it truly gutted me. MY kids father " un- alived himself" and the pain that comes 4rm it rrm everyone involved is just gut wrenching. I remember amazing happy moments to from b4 so i try to remember those instead, but Ren is just amazin with lyrics and music. And the visual affects are amazeballs in this! I absolutely love this video even tho it kills my heart to know his own struggles of loss. truly breaks my heart, but im also glas he is able to start getting the spiritual, mental, ohysical, and emotional help he needs and has been getting. The breakdown is so sad but its still my fav part because even speaking it out loud once helps a tiny bit each time and although it MEVER FULLY will go away, its good to be able to let out some of the pain by sharing it sometimes. YOU GOTTA JUST REMEMBER THE GOOD DAYS and remember were fragile and were o ly on this earth for a small graction of time b4 were gone.... so love your fambam and show them you care, cuz no ones promised 2morrow. BUT UUGH
I LOVED THIS SONG. Its a tear jerker, but i still love it and glad hes strong enough to be able to make it, because even making the song is an act of healing. Bravo! I love ren! Can never get enough lol
Sometimes these songs just open wounds and punch you in the gut when you least expect it. Felt that one too hard.
This song is… something else. In a good way. I didn’t see that ending coming…
Great reaction, guys
Is to his friend that he lost he jumped off the bridge and he witness him doing that and he was late to grab him and he feels responsible for it.... There's a couple of songs dedicated to it... Like how to be and freckle angel
Such a raw song, an emotional gut puncher from Ren's heart and clearly tortured soul. Still reeling from the first listen. A beautiful tribute to his friend.
I am suffering myself from double depression, chronical depersonalization, anxiety disorder and a chronic pain disorder. Suicide thoughts (but not plans) are a regular part of my life. In 2020 I lost a brother in mind and heart by suicide.
I never had anyone I could have so much fun with and do stupid / crazy things. That's something I never do but with him it was possible.
And we shared our dark side, told us about our demons.
It still hurts as hell and just thinking about that one movement and what came next (he killed himself with a rope) makes me feel miserable and sad and empty. I can feel so much with what describes here.
This hit so hard. This hit so deep!
So honest. So true. So brutal. So painful: Emotionally and even physically.
Your body missing so we never got to wave to the hearse....kills me, my mom has been missing for 20 years...possible muder, possible suicide, or just left to go on to some other end....ren is amazing. Dont fix it in post..
Great reaction fellas ya still managed to make me smile
This is a beautiful master piece
when he’s talking about looking down and seeing tranquility, i really felt that. i was that person on the edge of a bridge once. just one push and i’d be gone. someone saw me and stopped me and talked to me. without her, i wouldn’t be here.
Ren is the one true artist of our time - the one true reflection of human nature
Yeah this was a doozy! I literally bawled like a baby and still cry when I watch these but I love to watch people really feel music the way I do! It’s the soundtrack of my life!! It’s literally my love language… might be my only language 😂😂 thank you guys so much for this tho I’m so happy that we found Ren he is changing the world, the conversation and awareness to the wrong in the world and the pain we suffer as a consequence
The last section was added last min, Its about his best friend Joe Hughes that jumped off a bridge years back. He has talked briefly about it I. Interviews and even made a post on his account.. it’s a song that opens eyes and touches hearts and each time you give it a listen and see reactions you feel so much more of it..
Ren might be the future of music. He is so talented, smart, relatable, everything. I really hope he is safe and healthy.
The 'we'll fix it in post' comment as you're both balling your eyes out! We were all crying too! Love you guys!
This is a true story of his friend jumping to his death , Ren ran to get there to stop him and missed by minutes.They never found his body ,he is doing a fund raiser right now for the rescue team that looked for him for a week . He wrote a song that was played at his funeral called freckled angels . It is beautiful
That last section rips your heart out. It's sad that it's so awkward to hear someone be that vulnerable.
Ren is a Welsh singer from my country from Wales and the town hes from is Bangor and his number 1 in the charts 🔥🔥🔥
I watch you guys before I watch the actual video, best reactions on UA-cam, love you guys!
I like how he used the Ai drawings for the clip. In the beginning its like his emotions shooting out of him randomly then at the end its like his face is shifting between pretty much the "everyman", everyone thats felt the hit of losing someone that way. It almost becomes less about conveying the emotion and more representing us all who have felt that sting.
Thank you guys!
Thanks guys, much love!!
As someone who has lost 2 people who were close to me to suicide, I wasn't expecting it to cause me to cry for the first time in over a year. I lost both my parents due to suicide, and I've been right on the edge of it myself, but I've slowly found reasons to keep going forward, and to those who feel alone in the battle with the demons that plague our mind, you are not as alone in the darkness as you think. Please reach out, you are more loved then you could ever imagine.
I would love to see Ren and Tyler Joseph from Twenty One Pilots do a collaboration... Great reaction guys!!!
This hit me hard I remember listening to this song holding back tears ren has so much talent
Congrats in the sponser!
What an amazing song! Instantly on my playlist.
Great job guys!
When someone close removes themselves from this plane, it is a punch in the gut, and you cannot breathe. He gave you a perfect sample of what it is like.
Bro. I'm crying. This song gave me the tears I needed to let out.
When your bucket of emotions get to full, You got to let it out. This is a key to let tears out.
Hi Ren, made a numb heart.. And This... This let me cry for the first time in a long time. Thank you Ren.
I laughed hard at. "Don't worry I'll make us look cool! We'll fix it in post."
"Don't worry, I'll make us look cool" !!!!!!!!!!! Man, Ren is killing us with his artistry !!!
I'm loving the "A Scanner Darkly" style art in video.
Seeing you guys keep it real and authentic here was massive. Like Ren's lyrics- this is what tough looks like: willing to be vulnerable and feel the feels.
Thank you for your insights and also please don't stand on chairs!
This song will save lives. This will start important conversations.
woo i was waiting for a reaction
Oh god, REN is just the best, he is strong, beautiful, humble,talented, gifted& he comes along once in a generation. He is helping so many people now. Love you man ❤
If you search Joe Hughes Bangor Wales you will see the full story of rens friend. He was turned away from medical help his friends was late to get to him and he chose that way out 😢
Great reaction guys. Love how genuine you both are ❤
I love this song and music video, it's so real and raw. reading the details of the music video about how this song came to be contributes to the tears for the 2nd half.
Loved watching this! I'm just blown away with every song Ren releases and it's amazing to see reactions from other people and say "yesss!!!"
Oh my goodness!! That twisted my heart and gut at the same time. What an excellent reaction guys!
Much love ✌️♥️
The first time I heard this I was not prepared for the end of the song. Raw emotion and vulnerability, Ren is so open about all he has gone through and writes these beautiful songs, lyrics and music that fills my 59 year old heart.
I love Ren. This song moves me deeply. I am just glad he is on the road to a happier life!
Watching various reactions to this song, I'm struck by how deeply people are touched by Ren's words. His willingness to be vulnerable is helping us all to feel more connected, I think.
I agree. His music hit me in a way other artists haven't.
Ren recorded the poem at the end line by line as he wrote it thats why it is so raw
Rip Joe Rip my bestie Caldonia
love you guys. just felt strongly after this that I needed to tell y'all that. I kind of stumbled into the "reactor" world by accident along the way but on a quest to hear music that I had not heard before and open myself up to more that I had shut out when younger I found reactors were my substitute for someone to discuss things I was discovering ... some years down the pike from then they were super popular. I was alone in my quest and no one was interested in hearing or discussing what I was finding. Not sure what first got me with you guys but I can tell you I have more fun with y'all and Ren as well as FIR ..Ronnie Radke. When I saw t hat you guys were taking on this song I felt I could hear it again and just know I was in a safe real place. Such a powerful emotional song and both of you had such real and "appropriate" responses to it. It made me know how much I appreciated your channel. And I wasn't sure I had ever told you.
The story behind this and this video truly are something so special.
This got me tearing up too. It is so relatable. I've been sick for a long time and so have several of my family members. It is such a hard thing to go through, especially when there's no hope of getting out. I can empathize with him 😔
I've watched this twice and will watch it again. You guys are absolutely amazing.
So raw and heart wrenching!
I love this video fellas,raw emotions is what makes it authentic, truly appreciate your take on music,thanks for the videos
Love the genuine reaction.. I can't listen to it without being teary eyed. His verses are sick, and so real.
He is a genius...great reaction guys
Follow Ren for years, watched him in Brighton first off before he started blowing up, so pleased he is....dude is fcking amazing
Heartfelt reaction guys 😢❤ i appreciate you letting us see your raw real emotions ❤😊