Are homeschoolers properly socialized?
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- Опубліковано 21 сер 2024
- You know you’ve heard it: “I don’t homeschool because I want my kids to learn how to socialize with their peers.” Or something like it. I am a firm believer that that just isn’t a good enough reason, and is honestly, just not true.
That said, this video isn’t about coming at anyone who doesn’t homeschool for other reasons. Not everyone can, or has a desire to. And there are plenty of people out there who wish they could and they simply can’t. Know that I am NOT coming at you.
This video is out of the norm for me. Let me know if you like it.
#crunchymom #homeschool #wildandfree #silkybecauseistilluseabank
Song "Into the Wild" by Graham Colton
Licensed through Musicbed
What people don’t know is that there’s a whole underground society of homeschoolers who socialize together. We are at the park, the zoo, or the museum DURING THE WEEKDAY and have the entire place to ourselves. Even better, we have the professionals who work there to ourselves. They’re busy answering questions and providing resources on a one-on-basis because our kids are actually interested and aren’t just there for a mandatory field trip. Both of my kids have professional jobs now, no student debt, and are actually moving into a house together soon. Yeah, they want to be roommates on purpose. I didn’t move the school into our house, I moved learning into our home. And they are both very thankful for that.
People also have NO CLUE how many of us they run into on a daily basis, because we don't walk around with neon signs reading "I'M A HOMESCHOOLER" 🤣 I'm a homeschool/unschooling graduate, with a college degree in psychology and a master of arts in child development. Now I unschool my daughter, who clearly was not going to thrive in a traditional school setting; we aren't *incredibly* busy, but we still have things going on almost every day, from online classes to meetups to a self-directed education center that she gets dropped off for twice a week.
School breaks are by far the worst, because all our normal activities are canceled and everyone else is enjoying our favorite hang outs!
I laugh when people assume our kids are all trapped in the house for the exact same amount of hours as public school kids are in the classroom. It’s just a different wavelength!
Stealing the phrase "underground society of homeschoolers". Haha it's so true though!
I agree, and it's great! I probably would have thought more about it if that were the case years ago. I just don't like being judged (especially by someone I've never even met) for not homeschooling. Therefore, I'm a bad parent.
I love, love, love this!
-a former Homeschooler and now Homeschool Mom
I was homeschooled, and I WASN'T properly socialized. There was a big learning curve when I started at a brick and mortar high school, and I was very lonely as a child. I had my siblings (all brothers, and I'm still close to them) but no friends who were girls.
Do I think homeschooling can work? Absolutely. But it shouldn't be done unless you 1.) aren't completely overwhelmed with other commitments or mental health issues, 2.) Are able to tap into some sort of supporting community, and 3.) Are able to realistically regularly leave the house /get your children into extracurriculars of some sort (volunteering, scouting, improv theatre, a paying job, SOMETHING). Homeschooling may be, indeed, the best fit for your family and kids. But make sure you have the resources to do it.
My mom homeschooled because she thought it was the best option, but she HATED it. She felt trapped, overwhelmed, and she was miserable (and we could tell). I have a lot of memories of feeling really, REALLY bored and stressed and trapped. When she finally got desperate enough to put us in school (I was in high school), I LOVED the consistency, routine, and the chance to actually DO stuff beyond curriculum workbooks. It made up for struggling to connect with my peers.
On the other hand, my sister in law and several family friends homeschool, and they do great with it. I've actually been shocked to go to their houses and see their kids doing a million and a half different things and being obviously happy and pursuing their own interests, and the mothers being happy and engaged too. I know it can be done well, and both mom and kids can flourish.
At the end of the day, do the best you can with the resources you have.
(And I see and appreciate the birthing video thing...I was able to shut up an annoying boy in class once (he was trying to get my goat) by telling him random facts about the process of giving birth ("Dude, I can TELL YOU THINGS about the mucus plug..."). Mom was a homebirther (me too!)).
i had a very similar homeschooled experience as a child and went to a public school in 10th grade. i never thought i would homeschool my 4 kiddos but here i am on year 6 of homeschooling. our homeschool looks very very different then what i was raised in. like anything else, there is a right and a wring way to do it. and like anything else, you're heart condition matters. thanks for sharing you're story 💜
I also had a similar experience, my mom did her best but only had a 10th grade education. Once I went to highschool I thrived. But I have made the decision that I will homeschool my kiddos after preschool.
@@calicarolinagirl i don't think only having up to a 10th grade education would be an issue. anyone can take curriculum and teach from it. all the answers are in the teacher keys. i think personally and whether you have the gift of teaching are much larger hurtles overcome.
I really appreciate reading your perspective on what not to do. I am on my 4th year of homeschooling my kids and I am constantly looking for comments like this one so I can make sure that I improve and make my kids homeschool experience a positive one.
This is the best thing I have ever read about homeschooling, and I appreciate your full perspective beyond words. I have a feeling this is what most if not all previously homeschooled people mean when they say “I was homeschooled, don’t do it.”
I left my job as a teacher to homeschool my children. I would get the same criticism. They will never be socialized they would say then in their next breath would say how polite and kind my kids were and what a large vocabulary they have.😂
Same here!
Me too
What a relatable comment lol 😅
Lol!! Exactly!! 😂😂😂
baaahaaa that's exactly what happens 😂
I was a teacher for 14 years and now I’m a homeschool mom to my 5 kiddos. I will never go back to the conventional classroom.
Agreed. I’m still teaching in a public school, but I’ll be done in a few years. I’ve already told my kids (ages 19-23) that I’ll be homeschooling my grandkids (should any of them decide to have kids.)
@@angelat.8997 What if they don't want that?
@@aryabiss9445 we can ask you the same. What if public school kids don’t want that? Do you pull them out of public school because that’s what they want?
Same! Except I taught for only 5 years. I’ve been homeschooling for the past 5 years now.
@@JuniperLynn789I mean yeah.. if a public school kid doesn't want to be in public school and you have the resources to either do online or homeschool then go for it.
As a person whose education included both conventional school and homeschool, I think that the key is doing what is best for each of your children individually and taking it year by year. There are benefits and drawbacks to all schooling options. While homeschooling was very beneficial to my older brother, it suffocated me. I needed to learn in a group of students. I was heavily involved in our church and sports, but it was not enough for me socially. I learned best from someone who is not my mom (who was a trained teacher) and with a group of my peers. My brother learned best through books and self directed exploration. What is best for one child is not always best for another.
💯 Yes! I attended public school, private school, and home school. Everyone has to pick what is right for their child and their family. My mom was part of a community that stressed home schooling and she felt a lot of pressure to home school us. It was not her calling, she was trying to contort herself into a mold she didn't fit in because she thought it was what was best for us. In the end it did much more harm than good.
My personal favorite was public school, as was my siblings, because it had the most diversity. We were more accepted by our peers. In my experience private schools and home school groups were more insular, homogenous groups except in major metropolitan areas. I simply didn't fit in with that group. I'm really thankful my parents figured out which schooling environment fit best for our family.
No matter what anyone chooses for their family, I would suggest socializing outside of one specific group. If the children go to public school, maybe try a church or community group. If they are home schooled maybe try an after school program aimed towards the public school crowd. The ultimate goal is for them to be prepared for adulthood. Part of that is for the children to grow up being capable of working and interacting with all kinds of people. No matter what though, don't try to force something that isn't a good fit.
So I was public schooled and my husband was homeschooled. He is charismatic and so good at confrontation and I run and hide when the JW’s pull up (seriously guys, I live in the woods for a reason). I always tell people that you can be weird and socially awkward no matter where you get your education. Also “I don’t want my kids to be weird”, idk if you noticed but kids are naturally weird.
if I lived in the woods I wouldn’t be too happy with JWs getting on my property either! That’s wrong of them.
Yeah, missionaries come since not all people living in the woods are there to avoid interaction. I'm not a JW, but I apologize in behalf of them for any anxiety caused! ❤
I think that sometimes school can bury who you actually are due to wanting to conform to everyone else, and then you spend your twenties and thirties refining who you were, then you're weird. I think being weird and different is good and it leads to innovation. I hope I can instill that in my kids.
Homeschool can be good, but I don't think it's for every kid. It really depends on their at home relationship with their parents and their needs as an individual. Not every family can afford homeschool as well.
There's definitely pros and cons to it.
I home schooled both of my children from first grade through high school, I don’t regret any of it. There were days that were very hard, my son especially didn’t want to follow directions sometimes, but we made it through and I wouldn’t trade those years for anything. Science experiments at the kitchen table, art projects, reading together, I was very blessed to be able to do that. They’re both successful adults now by successfully mean happy and fulfilled. They both graduated with honors from universities, they both have a variety of friends. You’ve got this momma!!❤️
Me too. Socially awkward as a non-homeschooler. I homeschooled my two boys, who are now adults, one is in the Air Force and the other works in his dad’s business. One is outgoing and extroverted while the other is shyer and introverted. They went to church, played on sports teams, and were in Civil Air Patrol. They had plenty of socialization! I feel that they are well-rounded young men!
Was homeschooled from K-12 and am currently in college to become an engineer. Loved my time as a homeschooler and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. I see things differently from others my age and it’s often for the better. My views on individuality, self esteem, relationships, and success were all shaped during my time at home and I am so thankful for that. And I also got the same comment and still do, “well weren’t you socialized?” Just keep pushing through and ignore those people that lack the social skills themselves to realize what an asinine question they are asking, and continue being a unique and individualistic homeschooler!
I also use the college experience of my brothers to point out the benefits of homeschool. One of my brothers often got comments in college, because he would wear real clothes to school like polos or button down shirts. He was always at the top of his classes and on the dean’s list, so I guess homeschool works. (He’s an engineer and got a great job out of school. All my brothers have done very well in college, and are very sociable!)
@@Rosie_Cbecause getting dressed up to go to a lecture beyond the first few days is weird, this is why homeschooling is bad. These people don’t learn social rules and end up getting what’s basically Asperger’s
@@liammadden7572 Why is it weird to dress respectfully? Your carriage says much about your mindset and attitude towards whatever you are doing. Also, I know many people who were homeschooled and have excellent social skills. Much of that has to do with how a person is raised. There are plenty of people who went to public school who have limited social skills.
@@liammadden7572I am at a loss as to your connection between dressing how you please and lack of social skills. There are many people in public schools that dress differently and do not conform to the standard garb, however they are not viewed as socially incapable according to the logic you have put forth. Taking pride in your appearance and dressing to please yourself is the mark of a well developed self esteem and an awareness of your own emotional needs. And your conclusion that you will somehow “get Asperger’s” is asinine at best and shows the weakness of your argument. I suggest in future you fine tune your opinions before putting them onto a public platform.
@@Rosie_CI completely agree with you! Additionally, homeschoolers are far less likely to suffer from peer bullying compared to their public school counterparts which in many situations leads the public school child to be less developed socially for their future interactions.
Homeschooling is not black and white, there are some parents who will do it right, and some people who can't as much, and you have to find when you start not being able to. My mother in law stopped at high-school for my boyfriend's family, because it would be too difficult for her, and I understand that. As long as you educate them well, you're not doing the wrong thing by homeschooling them.
Thankfully these days there are SO many resources making homeschool much easier for family's everywhere! The thought of high school gives me anxiety but my oldest child just finished first grade and I have great faith that come those high school years even more resources will be available!
I am a high school teacher and I have had former home school kids that parents did an awesome job, as well as others... including some scary neglect and abuse. There is the whole range of homeschooling experience out there.
It's also not all-or-nothing - you don't need to know the material to homeschool your child, you just need to be willing to learn it alongside them and help them find the supports they need. Homeschooling is so ultimately flexible and can fit any style or method that works best for each family - and when it stops working, it's wonderful that we have a public education system for those who need and want it :)
It's the same thing with school. I was homeschooled on and off and went to private and public schools. There are bad and good teachers. I thought everyone knew that. Of course there are some parents that'll get it wrong and some right. That's like that in everything.
@@katecraig2974 Part of the problem with evaluating home education is that it is a self-defining movement. So people call themselves home schoolers when they are really doing no home education, don't intend to educate, and only use the label to avoid scrutiny. This is definitely a problem that the home school community needs to recognize and work with law enforcement to fix, but these are usually not actually home schoolers but "counterfeit" home schooling families. Home schooling can be poorly done, but the abuse and neglect is about people pretending to home school in order to get away with crimes.
I am graduating from “home-school” in a couple weeks. Yes, I am more socially-awkward with kids my own age, mostly because of the cultural gap between public school and homeschool culture. But adults are always blown away by how well-spoken I am. Few people my age actually talks to adults or new people or speak without being prompted in new situations. I always do. My homeschool friends are similar. And I have plenty of homeschool friends, because it really isn’t about being “socially awkward,” it’s just that public school kids are very different from us. Also, none of my friends drink, do drugs, or have s*x, and we all have excellent grades and are going to good colleges. Homeschooling works, y’all!
You point out something that I think people often misunderstand. Not fitting into to the culture created at public school does not make you awkward or weird. There is no other time in life where that culture exists either. Rather you were raised to be comfortable interacting and communicating in “the real” world that for some reason everything thinks you won’t be able to handle?….. lol coming from someone who was homeschooled until high school and am currently a homeschool mom. Congrats on college!
Yes! When I transitioned from college to the full-time workforce I realized that I had no experience interacting with adults as their peer. I had worked in several part-time jobs, but I was always treated as a kid, and I had accepted that. Socializing with fellow adults of different ages was really weird for the first few years. My kids now socialize with all ages. I hope it helps them build their identity in a more realistic atmosphere.
There's definitely a gap depending on the family and what kids are exposed to between homeschoolers and public school kids as far as pop culture goes. It's not necessarily a bad thing but when you already feel a bit alienated from your peers, not knowing the current popular lingo, etc. can feel like such a burden. As an adult, not so much. It gets better.
Happy to hear all of that, although there’s nothing wrong with having sex with someone you care about once you’re mature enough to make that decision together (and take care to use the proper protection)
@@xhappyponyxwasmyoldname1395 only have sex when you're ready to have a baby and are in a committed relationship for the baby's sake and stability. The only time you're in a committed relationship is when you are married.
I’m an only child, and my parents were so busy pursuing their dream careers that homeschooling was not an option. I don’t think my parents would’ve been particularly good at it anyway. Luckily, they sent me to a great school, and learning was often a magical experience for me- we had fascinating field trips, and I still have lifelong friends from those days. I loved being in a classroom setting with 10-20 other kids, bantering and collaborating and competing, joking around, and having crushes. Given how introverted my parents were, school was the best opportunity for me to interact with a larger community of diverse people and learn how to navigate social politics.
Yess! That is one big positive thing about school... Sadly, in the area where I live (smallish town) I've found that many white families have decided to homeschool their kids because of "changing demographics" 😮 they don't want their kids to be part of a diverse community 😢 they're afraid that having exposure to people that have a different culture would "corrupt" them😒 I think that deep down they're just racist😕
I know that many people benefit from homeschooling and they do it for the right reasons.
I was socialized by a gaggle of siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles (50+ people) of a variety of age ranges, personalities, interests, and strengths. I was socialized by a co-op with an age range from 0-18. I was socialized by the opportunity to take college classes in high school due to academic excellence and by early (legal) employment due to extra free time.
One of my friends, a public schooler, was socialized by bullies, by drug users and underage drinkers, by kids swearing and talking about sex. They were hardly ever exposed to people in a different age group. It significantly marred their adult life, by their own admission.
Yes! Children acting as each other’s role models doesn’t work. We all need role models we can admire.
Exactly!!
Doesn't necessarily mean their aren't pros and cons to both sides
@@tacobell1299 Never said there wasn't. Just provided a personal anecdote with no implied conclusons.
I think you can have that healthy influence from your home life, and then be exposed to the influence of your peers at school. You can't hide sex and drugs from someone forever, they will eventually go out into the world and by not being given a chance to either experiment or turn down the offer, they might feel like they missed out so they need to make up on lost time. I went to public school, was exposed to sex and drugs, didn't partake in either, and now happy as an adult who didn't partake anyway. I had healthy influence from my parents and my huge extended family at home, and also had like unbreakable friendships that I have kept for 10 years from school. It's so invaluable to allow your kids to make such strong bonds to soemone who isn't fsmily in my opinion, it really made me a person who able to interact with all sorts of peoples and ideas, because I was exposed to so many different kinds, and excericse my free will on wether I'd accept them into my life or not. Now as an adult I am confident in making the right decisions becaue I had so much practise in school while I was still with my parents
Weird, awkward, socially inept people exist everywhere- I went to a Charter School, had homeschool friends, public school friends, and private school friends. A mix of friends is good, and every kid is different, and benefits from different school settings. I ADORED my charter school, and my brother would've been devastated to have to home school, but that doesn't mean that everybody needs that:D
So so true!!! There are socially inept people everywhere. Public school doesn't fix that....nor does anything else..
Yea I'm inept and awkward because I learnt to fear other people based on my experiences in school. Probably would've been better off home
@@snoozyq9576where you wouldn’t meet people at all
I enjoyed my time at public school very much! My parents were both working and we could have never afforded to homeschool, it is a huge privilege to be able to. If you have the choice, I would strongly advice to involve the kids into the decision-making and reevaluate every now and then.
There are programs out there that give parents money to buy curriculum. The one we use gives $1,700 per year per kid. There's also lots of good curriculum out there and it's free. You just gotta search it out.
Yes, sister! Homeschooling is the future, and encouraging and assisting other parents in their homeschooling journey is the best way we can help families and communities. The best part about homeschooling is that people can take matters into their own hands and help their children personally. All walks of life can do this!
I was a substitute teacher. Even expensive private schools have kids parked in front of Chromebooks all day, with kids toggling between "working" and messing around on their phones during class time. It is extremely difficult to manage, and my patient, capable teacher friends were often deeply discouraged by the end of the day. Some teachers are on their way out of the field because of the impossible expectations of administration and an education model that will be inadequate for more students than not. Many children and teens are far below standard for their ages (8th graders reading at 2nd grade level, etc.) and lack the means to find tailored tutoring to improve.
Thankfully, there are many other parents homeschooling, or learning about it as an option, for however long they can. Co-ops abound! For me, I am glad that no-tech/low-tech lifestyles are peacefully gaining traction. This is the avenue I will take with schooling after witnessing behavior/learning issues directly related to excess technology exposure.
Parents, you are not helpless. We can acknowledge the "world", "culture" and "society" without immersing ourselves and our children in it. Times are changing for the better (in some ways), and homeschooling is/will be a big part of that progress.
I'm all for people doing what they need to do and what feels best for them and their kids. But so many parents that are engaged and active with their children are no longer in the school system, and it feels harder on parents that are still there. So many of my friends in our area that home school are so deep in their own echo chambers, I can't help but feel their kids are in for a rude awakening when they go off to college and find out other perspectives and ways of life exist.
I begged my parents to home school me through the middle school years, so I might do that for my children if they are faced with the same obstacles I was faced with; but I'm not going to make that decision lightly or as a trauma response to my own experiences in middle school. I really like our school district at the elementary level, and will just play it by ear. But I believe education is in and out of a classroom, and my children come home with great conversations from things they heard or experienced at school.
Man, it can't be the future unless we can afford for most families to have one parent stay home. Do you not understand that most people cannot afford that and/or work in careers that can't be done remotely? If not most, the majority. We need to have better support for families, financial intensives, etc, so it's available, if it is indeed the future.Or maybe only Some families will get the great benefits of this that you proclaim (and I agree, when it works). It's like you want all the poor kids to go to public school because both their parents have to work outside the home?
I think people also don't recognize how toxic the social culture can be now. I'm a gen z'er and my public school experience from middle school on was insane. I was smoking every day by 14. Terrible drama all the time. I mean it was insufferable. And many teachers had no healthy boundaries and would pick fights with students or tell us really inappropriate things/jokes about their private lives. I'm sure not all schools were like this, but instead very large ones with no community or accountability.
My condolences for your loss of childhood. I hope you can heal from the trauma and find the life path that works for you. It’s your life. Don’t let anyone else tell you how to live it.
This story tracks with my experience. A fellow homeschooling mom was telling me the other day that parents nowadays don’t seem to realize that pressures on school kids are much worse than when we were in school.
My teenage daughter participates in a student theater organization where she’s the only homeschooler. I have been surprised by how unhappy her fellow teens are. At one point, there was someone in crisis crying through every meeting. A friend’s daughter, at a different school, has been suicidal for at least two years now, engaging in self-harm, in and out of all the treatments, now on ketamine. A classmate of hers recently died of a fentanyl overdose in the school bathroom. I also hear of high schoolers taking amphetamines to be able to keep up heavy academic schedules. I knew a few people like this in college and even in grad school. In the end they didn’t go far.
@@pechaa @pechaa thank you for your kind words. I was saved and transformed by Jesus Christ and my life is awesome now 😎 not without any struggles, but I have a solid ground to let go of the past. I did make it out pretty well, but a lot of mine and my husband's friends have gone down really bad paths or overdosed. There is this enormous pressure on college and success and being important, but no sense of any identity and love for life/others. I suspect a large part of this is tv/media glorifying mental illness, drug use, and social drama. Nobody is giving positive attention to kids seeking peace with others and finding inner happiness. It's all about strife.
I plan on homeschooling my kids too. Seems like a better use of time anyway. Sorry to hear about your friends' children. I hope there will be some kind of reckoning soon and people realize something isn't working.
Public schools vary today just as they did when I was growing up (I’m a xennial- in between gen x and millennials). I went to a small town public school where we all knew each other fairly well. There was a crowd who smoked and drank and a few tried marijauna. That wasn’t my crowd and I was also very involved in Young Life (Christian youth group) so was hanging out with like minded kids from my school and the local regional school in the next town over. My son now attends public school and we are in a smaller town than where I grew up. His graduating class is about 21 kids. Mine was 56. His school is prekindergarten through 12th grade, all in one building (sectioned out so first graders don’t run into high schoolers in hallways but the gym, cafeteria, library is all shared by everyone). So they all know each other there too. He does report kids vaping in the bathroom but says it’s not anyone in his class (freshman) or anyone he is friends with. Teachers don’t pick fights with the students (I’m surprised this happens anywhere) and he has really great teachers. Yes, social life for teens can be toxic these days. But it’s all about having a relationship with your kids where you talk to them, get to know their friends and become involved in the school as much as possible.
I volunteered in the classroom some years, events they put on, working the book fair, etc. I make sure to have conferences with teachers. I have to be extra involved when it comes to his 504 plan due to his ADHD. But my son is growing up having parents that care about what he’s doing, monitor his social media, and just talk with him. He recently had his first real romantic relationship- didn’t last terribly long, but when it ended he wanted to talk it out. We have been talking about it off and on and it’s helping him process. I know my mom was super involved in my life too and I had a great high school experience. I would never homeschool my son as he’s a huge extrovert who needs social interaction. He would have withered on the vine even if we had been in groups and co-ops and all that. He needs to be with other kids 6 hrs a day. I’m also too much of an introvert and need alone time to recharge from his extroversion!! Lol
@@amypetersen1668 curious what year were you born?
@@dallasoch not sure why it matters. I mentioned I'm a xennial- look that up to find the small range of years
you guys are just too sweet! i understand people worry about socialising because in school environments theres usually a lot of unhealthy conflict, but school trauma needs to be unlearned and shouldnt be a mandatory life experience. Love the videos!
Thank you for this. Calling a normal high school situation "being socialized" is actually pretty scary. Home schoolers can function in the real world just fine - and that is what matters in the end. Not everyone or every family is created equal - and as such, that goes for regular school as well.
I have 5 kids - all are normal and function in the 'real world' of life. All five are college grads and have jobs. One is working on a doctorate. We did home schooling for grades 7 and up after going to public school here in Poland for elementary school - plus I worked with them in reading and math and other things in their first few grades so they would be able to be fluent in English at a native level.
I love this! I just finished first grade with my first of 4 children to homeschool and I have already learned so much in the realm of science and social studies! So many parents mention their lack of patience is what stops them from homeschooling. I think it is the most inaccurate idea that one must master patience BEFORE homeschooling- it comes as you go! We literally learn alongside our children!
Good for you! I’ve been a nanny for 10 years and watched the harm it does to children because parents have no patience and no desire to put in the effort to acquire some. My mother raised 6 sons and 2 daughters - she was an excellent example of patience to me.
If you take account of the fact that you need a university degree(at least in all the countries I've been to) to be able to legally teach to kids, homeschooling really makes no sense. Homeschooled kids will still attend the standard final exams to make sure they are on the same level as kids their age throughout the years(don't know how it's done in the US). Maybe you can get away with elementary, but when you get to high school it gets hard....all the high level math and statistic, chemistry, geology, astronomy, ALL of world history, ecc. Even just knowing all the literary currents contestualized in each time period, through different cultures, is not a easy task. How do you do it? Do people hire private teachers for different subjects when it gets hard?
@@giobach3622 My family was so fortunate to have an excellent teacher in our homeschool group (not university educated at all, but incredible in every subject). My parents are both very intelligent, so my dad would help if we had trouble in high school. I can tell you this - all 5/6 of my brothers who have graduated high school after being home schooled their whole lives, have done excellently well in college and been at the top of their classes. The quality of public education in America is rapidly declining. I graduated high school in 2009 and I rarely encounter anyone in life who got a better education than I did. Another huge plus is that I continue to teach myself new things all the time.
I am a homeschool graduate and I thought of course I was going to homeschool my kids. Then we had six, two with significant special needs. We have homeschooled the first four at least one year, and the oldest two graduated from a homeschool hybrid program. It is such a blessing to spend more hours with your kids, especially in elementary school, but there's also no shame in choosing whatever option is best for your kid in their specific circumstance.
I was homeschooled. I was not properly socialized. My mom tried, but my social anxiety was strong, so between church (where I spoke to no one), the homeschool group we occasionally attended and my lack of siblings or other playmates, I grew up with next to no experience with human beings. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy my homeschool years. But yeah. Now I live alone and foster kittens because people are scary. No, I’m not exaggerating.
You probably would have had issues with that even in public schools
@@SAHMmiller oh, without a doubt.
I went to public school. I was bullied for years and ended up with social anxiety
Ps: I'm sorry for what you've been through
Be thankful to your mom who homeschooled you. It doesn’t sound like public school would have been a good fit for you. Kids are cruel and ruthless.
THIS IS WHY HOMESCHOOLING IS BAD! Homeschool kids never end up well rounded because there’s no chance to learn about real life. You can’t have a ‘girlfriend’ in 1st grade you hold hands with for like a day, you can’t mix one of every food in a chocolate milk carton during lunch w ur best friend and call it ‘the concoction’ you can’t learn to properly question authority or see the failures of its enforcement. You can’t get judged from an objective standpoint by people who don’t know or share the same values as you. Just send kids to school
I went to public schools from grade 0 to the end of university. I'm now a high school teacher. You'd think all those years of socialisation would make me less awkward, but nope.
I was put into a Homeschool co op after covid hit and it helped me TREMENDOUSLY! I have health issues and probably wouldnt have been able to get through conventional school and Graduate and now thx to homeschooling im off to college to persue the life I want to live! I couldnt be more thankfull to my parents, especially my Mom!
I'd love to homeschool, but my husband is stuck on the "socializing" argument too. I'm happy for you that you and your family get to try out that path for yourselves! I'm sure you'll do a great job ❤ and you're already educating so many people on your channel! 😊
I started out homeschooling for academic reasons, stayed for the superior socialization and emotional development that homeschooling provides in a functional family.
Do you have a local co-op group? Perhaps visiting with them would help change your husband’s mind. Homeschooled kids get socialization with ALL age groups. They learn how to interact on so many more levels than just their own age. Also, point out that colleges really like seeing “homeschooled” on applications as homeschooled kids are better equipped!
@@amykat5 I second this! Showing him a healthy thriving group of people that you can socialize your kids around would be awesome.
I was lucky enough to have had a year of homeschooling as a kid. It was my favorite year of schooling I ever had. I absolutely loved it. I was ahead of my peers (for the first and only time in my life), I did half the school hours they did, I went on so many cool field trips they didn’t, it greatly boosted my confidence and self worth, and didn’t socialize any less. In fact, I found that I had way more time to socialize than my peers, and couldn’t because they were in school. I feel so fortunate that I get to homeschool my own kids now. And it’s way easier than you think it is. You don’t have to be smart to homeschool. You just have to be open to learning. Most of the time, I’m learning with my kids. And that is really cool.
Yes!!! I had to relearn some things in order to teach my daughter! 😄
@@amykat5yes! I’m re learning fraction grids😆
I really love the clarification in the description. I really want to homeschool my kids, but I'm too sick. Curse chronic illness. Hopefully one day I'll be able to get control of my health well enough to start homeschooling. For now I'm grateful to live in a fairly good school district and that my kids have good teachers who understand them. Hopefully next school year will go as well as this one
I'm really proud of you putting your children ahead of yourself. You look like you're doing a great job. Keep up the good work! 💪🏻
Somebody who was homeschooled here. There are definitely ways to socialize homeschooled children. Groups, friends, etc. I was NOT given proper social outlets. Being homeschooled made it way for my controlling father to limit my access to the outside world. Overall homeschooling makes me nervous because it becomes easier for users and abusers to hide and control the people around them.
Agreed, we homeschool and love it and my son gets a lot of socialization. However, I think of my own childhood, school was my only outlet because of the abuse at home and I doubt I would have made it to adulthood if I was homeschooled. I don't know what the answer is there, but you have a valid point.
@@kileyholmes3980 I appreciate the rational response! Overall I lean towards oversight on homeschooling. This took place in Texas, there is none. I think there should be mandatory evaluations for all students (not just homeschooled) to check on academics and mental/physical health. That would go a ways to help prevent what I went through.
I am so sorry you had such a crappy awful experience. Lest we forget all of the horrible things that happen at public schools. How many teachers have molested children? It's actually more common than is commonly known. How about teaching inappropriate things? I had a teacher who would yell "sex" to get our attention. I also had a middle school teacher go into graphics about sex without our parents knowing. Also, they have an average of less than 40% of kids actually proficient in core curriculum. Why do we let public schools can get away with this, why worry so much about homeschooling and then say that public school is better?
@@BradKandyCroftFamily Both should be monitored more closely than they are. I was molested by my father and this is part of why I’m weary. In a school, in theory, there should be other adults to talk to when things happen. For homeschooled children the parents are able to take all other adults out of the equation and make it easier to abuse them.
I was partially homeschooled and it didn’t work for me. Mainly because of the lack of a social life. So I spent most of my years in public school. But people should do what works best for them. Homeschool, Public School, Private School, etc. are all good options.
My daughter asked me to homeschool her and I told her that if she wanted to live on the streets because I can't afford rent, sure. Homeschooling is an excellent option for those that can afford it...not a great option for most of society. Schools also perform a basic role that many parents need who both work. Furthermore, many schools act as a safe haven when there is abuse or violence in the home and schools are a resource for kids living in poverty. Schools provide therapy and counseling to children and sometimes their parents. They pass out clothes to the kids who can't afford them. Homeschooling is great but please don't undervalue already undervalued teachers who fill so many roles for so many kids who wouldn't have anything without them. I also know someone personally who homeschooled and didn't teach her children anything. Her homeschooling also delayed one of her children's diagnosis with autism which delayed him beginning therapies (which the public schools provide free of charge during the school day).
I started homeschooling durning Covid and noticed such a HUGE difference in my kids behavior and mood! We will NEVER EVER GO BACK!!! ❤
My favorite reason for homeschooling is "I don't want to just do school with my kids, I want to do life with my kids".
And yes, I am socially awkward as heck, and I went to traditional schools. My 10 year old homeschooler can have a conversation on any topic, with anyone. She can also do cool homeschooly stuff like identify medicinal plants, administer advanced first aid, explain how alpacas breed, etc. The usual 😅
I feel for kids who are socialized with only people their own age. Homeschoolers get to have peers of all age!
I love that they get to go to the bank, the mechanic, to take the same foot steps that their father takes through the day.
My favorite teacher of all time ... is a grandfather that lives across the street from me. His grandsons take every step he does with much joy ... working on brakes for an elderly woman who can't afford to have them done ... they help him with landscaping ... measuring and building projects. One day they had sewing machines out mending sails for the sail boat. I see them keeping journals and doing accounting on spreadsheets. They are all under 12. It is beautiful and thrilling. I love to watch them learning so much.
They all listen to their grandpa speak with the neighbors, and they are all very social. They hire construction help. They go to the post office to send large packaging and deal with UPS. They shop ... for groceries ... for building supplies at home building stores ... hardware stores ... car part stores ... socializing all the way throughout their travels.
On the same journey as you with two young ones just like you, just starting the homeschool thing. Don't have everything figured out but this is a time we will all treasure forever. My kid also has a personal relationship with the fishmonger Yaniv😂. Didn't realize other people's kids did that too! Your videos are so lovely thanks❤
I mean, I was/am socially awkward and homeschooled. We didn't get out much and as a teen in particular, that really bothered me. However, I found out as an adult that I'm autistic (and likely also have ADHD, what a fun combo!). So there was good reason for my awkwardness besides being at home a lot. It would have been there whether I was in public or private school or homeschooled. Different neurotype. 🤷♀️
I've been told that I don't love my kids enough to homeschool them. There weren't the resources available then, and I didn't feel qualified. Besides, most kids (or maybe it's just mine) listen to someone other than their Mom a lot more. I was lucky enough to be able to be a full time Mom, since my Hubby had a good job. For that, I'm thankful.
To a one, my children are grateful that I did not homeschool them.
I'm sorry you were told that - maybe that person was just having a bad day? Public / Home school is not a marker of your love for your children and you should never be (or feel) judged in that way. People just do some things differently, that's all!
A good, loving mother does her best to make her children feel loved and secure regardless of their circumstances. She feeds, cherishes, teaches and plays with them the best she can and should never be compared to others. Don't feel guilty or be so hard on yourself, your children need YOU, no one else can be the precious Mum you already are to them 🥰❤️
You go girl!!
I homeschooled my kids K - 12. Imperfect as it was, it was wonderful. They are well adjusted adults who know how to socialize with all ages not just their peers. Keep up the good work!
I love this video. I was homeschooled all my life and I love meeting new people. I have rich and poor friends, friends across the political aisle, homeschool and public school friends and my daughter is just like me. Last year a lady kept walking by our house so my daughter said, “Hi, I’m _____, I’m 3, how old are you?” And with that we got our first friend from California and today they came to church with us!
Thabka for making this video! I was homeachooled until 10th grade, I had 3 years of public school. I remember being applied by how the kids at public school acted and talked to the teachers. I loved learning. I am 100% going to homeschool my kids because the school systems are not trustworthy in my opinion. I know many kids who went to public school who are less adjusted and have a harder time in thier adult life. There are so many benefits to homeschooling. And a lot of times homeschooled kids come out more educated than those who attend public schools. I cannot recommend enough!
I'm homeschooling my kindergartener this year!! It's intimidating but exciting at the same time 🥰🥰
I give everyone who homeschools major props. It’s not for everyone. I’m a teacher and wanted my children to go to a conventional school. I went to a small, Christian, private school growing up and while I will never regret my education, there were opportunities that were not afforded to me because the school just didn’t have the resources. I want my kids to be able to experience what many public schools have to offer that many private schools don’t and experiences that may be difficult to find as a homeschooler.
I was homeschooled until high school and absolutely loved it. As a kid who was not typical, I needed the extra time and space to learn and flexibility to grow at my own pace. I would not have thrived in a school environment. I would have probably caused a lot of trouble. Even when homeschooling, my mom had such a hard time with me at times, but because of that one on one time and my mom’s determination I was able to make progress and I went to a private high school and graduated with honors and went to college and graduated as well. I’m so grateful to my mom for all the time she put into us. Some people act like she did nothing at all with her life because of the time she put into her family. they don’t really know her or understand her value…and honestly that is their loss.
I'm a homeschooling mom, and I used to be a college professor. Best choice I ever made!
I've been homeschooled since I was six years old and am now almost finished, with my eighteenth birthday just two months away. And one skill that I see a lot in homeschoolers is the ability to socialize with people vastly outside of your age group. it's really cool to see teenagers who know how to talk actively and respectfully with adults, joke with their friends their age and then go and play soccer with nine year old kids. I think that for the most part, it is a myth that homeschoolers are not properly socialized and I feel blessed that my education was stranger, funnier, more specialized, and so much more interesting then the one I would have otherwise had.
I am very grateful for my homeschool education. I have a much closer relationship with my mom and adults in my life because of it. I wouldn’t say I wasn't properly socialized, but I will say that despite my parents attempts to keep me involved with activities with my peers, I suffered from extreme loneliness and what is likely chronic depression. I also wasn't diagnosed with autism until I was 18, and while I'm glad I wasn't coddled or sheltered from life as I've seen happen with kids who are diagnosed early on, it was extremely painful and traumatic being unable to make any close connections with peers until about 15 or 16, and not understanding why. Of course, an autism diagnosis is about $1000, and we're very lucky we could make do to afford it at the time, but if you can afford it, it's worth it. Not being homeschooled for religious reasons was also a wall between me and other kids, which may or may not be an issue. I realize I've been rather negative, I am very grateful for being homeschooled, and I wish that my mental health issues hadn't gotten in the way of continuing my education like that through high school. Mostly, I just wanted to tell you my experience. I guess, just make sure you're socializing too. There's whole networks of moms, both new and veterans, to talk to.
I desperately want your life with the simplicity and beauty but as a single mom, marketing manager for an auto group I never can. You are amazing. Keeping doing you.
I think something that's a huge concern for me with homeschooling is kids who don't have loving homes and will be stuck in a toxic environment. Especially with queer kids. Some kids parents aren't great and their only escape is school. But on the other hand their are some great parents out there that are loving twords their kids and will do great as home school teachers. I think online school should also be a huge option some kids go at their own pace and need different things to accommodate for that.
Dude just send kids to normal schools. We have this pathological need to be right about something, be ‘smarter than the masses’ when really the majority are in the same place. Let the smart people figure out how to make your kids learn. The power is on, the food from California is still fresh and the military is 20 yrs ahead of the competition. They’re doing a good job let the system work for once.
The opposite can be a concern too. Public schools can be a toxic environment. When I went to high school in the 2010s, boys would watch p*rn on the school computers, I saw girls get sexually assaulted IN CLASS and nobody did anything, and of course there was bullying.
I went to a nice school btw and the teachers were great, it was the students who made the experience awful.
Sometimes school can be an escape, but unfortunately for kids already under stress from bad situations at home school often becomes additional stress because of the problems there and because the social climate these days often means any kid already struggling becomes a target. Abuse and bad homes are terrible, but unfortunately you can't usually fix that with a public school. Healthy community and extended family is the best chance at fixing it, but even in home school communities we really don't have that consistently these days. Really sad.
What you're not considering is the reverse is also true. Those students stuck in public schools that don't support them are trapped in a traumatic toxic environment.
@@liammadden7572depends on the kid. I'm autistic. If I have an autistic child, I'm home schooling. There is no way on this planet that I would ever be comfortable sending an autistic kid to school. It was horrible.
My husband and I were both homeschooled. We met at Chemistry co-op in highschool. Plenty of socialization for my dad 😅
I also started my area's homeschool highschool book club, rode horses, volunteered with disabled riding program, baby-sat enough I could buy a used car at 16, got 23 credits, started a job at 17 and got straight A's enough for a college scholarship... But no let's make them attend the school they don't want to do and resent, it'll totally help.
You go girl!! I wish I had home schooled from the start!! Home school kids are kids who know how to converse with people of any age and they are usually much more willing and even HAPPY to do so! I’ve seen it over and over again in different families! Love this video! Love them all! I laugh so hard at most all of them, being crunchy myself, its good to laugh at myself! 😉❤️
We have homeschooled for five years. My kids have tons of social outlets including church, sports, and art classes. My daughter volunteers at our local art center every week (she is 12) and helps clean, maintain the garden, and stick the gift shop. Everyone that walks in she handles at the reception desk. One day she came home after chatting with the mayor. I’m proud she is learning to interact with both kids her age and younger and older and adults in a variety of settings.
The key thing you pointed out is that the parents will need to double down on efforts to get their kids socially interacting with peers. Haggling with the fish monger is certainly a good lesson to learn, but if their social interaction is limited to lesson's in micro economic commerce they're going to struggle interacting with peers in purely social situations.
I was exclusively public schooled, and so was my husband. We are both awkward weirdos. So were all the bullies in school, and the high school kids who picked their nose (yup, that happened), and the teachers who sleep with their students (sometimes that makes the news, most of the time it doesn't). How about the kids with no friends? There were a TON of those kids? Is that just the byproduct of proper socialization?
Emily, this video encourages me to be faithful to persevere! I’ve been homeschooling my boys for five years now. There’s been uphill battles, A-HA moments, breakdowns and breakthroughs! Everything else in between. I would NOT change one single thing about. Like you said, every challenge has been a learning opportunity, sometimes easy, sometimes hard. I’m so thankful for my boys. I love them fiercely and so grateful I got to be there when they learned to read or figured out a math concept on their own. Thankful I got to be there for them to come up to me and say “mom, will you play with me?” Or “mom, will you read to me?” If they turn out awkward or socially inept, I don’t care! That’s what makes them unique and unlike the rest of the world. Thanks again. ♥️
I was homeschooled K-12 (I'm now 35 and a Mom of 2). I frequently had shocked looks when I told people I was homeschooled as I was growing up.
"But you're so normal/social/confident/smart/outgoing, etc.!" Yeah, because I've been given the opportunity to socialize outside of my peer group. I hung out with kids younger than me, older than me, my age, and adults. I know how to interact with a whole range of people. I had a VERY active social life, even though I only had one other homeschooling friend in high school. Youth groups, lessons, church activities, etc.
I'm now homeschooling my kids. And it's amazing! Socializing won't be a problem and what a blessing to be the one who gets to pour into my kids the way my Mom did for me!
I homeschooled my kids through the 90’s. There are pros and cons. We had to at the very least, meet state standards, which was super easy because standards are pretty low bar. Then we got to add in extras… a lot of trips, art, reading, Latin French, sign language, nature studies, music etc. the kids were pretty self directed and surprisingly spent a fraction of the time on sit down learning that schools do and they were still ahead. They spent a lot of time outside. They did little league, soccer, swim lessons with all of the rest of the kids… also snowboarding, biking and skateboarding. They did summer camp and a lot of community volunteer work as well. They had friends across all age groups and did exceptionally well when they did dip into school. One thing they learned well was how to interview and present themselves, due to the inevitable questions of why they were not in school whenever we were out and about. We did things with a couple of local homeschool groups, but a majority of local homeschoolers were extremely religious, so after a while, that wasn’t a good fit for us.
If you can make through junior high, that would be the ideal situation. High school is definitely more fun in person!
My kids all graduated from my homeschool. One has graduated from college, 2 are still in college. I don't regret it and they still say it was the best thing for them ever. Weird kids are going to be weird no matter where they go to school. 😂 embrace it, parents.
Love it!
Respectfully, I’m not a huge fan of this one. I believe that for some children, homeschooling is a good option. Even so, this often leads to their younger siblings being homeschooled by default, which might not be the most ideal choice for their individual personalities.
Public schools aren’t perfect, of course they’re not. If they were, teachers wouldn’t have to beg for a higher budget. Yet, they ensure 7+ hours of direct, semi-supervised peer interaction which is far more than the hours most homeschooling parents manage to schedule (and no, siblings don’t count. Siblings are your siblings, not necessarily your friends. Usually in this situation they also grew up exactly how you did, which doesn’t add much diversity into the pot of experiences here).
Another thing about public school: your children will meet children of different races, religions, sexualities, genders, family backgrounds, etc. This isn’t to say your homeschooling bubble doesn’t already have this, but it might not. Can you confidently insist your kids have cultivated an understanding of economic disparity when so many of the other children they meet also have parents who are lucky enough to not both work? Does your bubble enable them to meet peers who you consider to be unconventional? Are they allowed to make online friends? Are you okay with them having the screen time and agency to do so? These are important questions for this day and age.
Homeschooling is the right option for many families. Yet, this felt like a PSA that was entirely focused on the wishes of the parent (rather than the needs of the child), simplified for those with the ability to homeschool or who already agree with you on the topic.
Thank you. It’s so hard to find any homeschool criticism around here.
Yes!
Find peace with your choices, or you will forever be triggered by the mere mention of something different than what your family chose to do.
BEST time of my life having my "sidekicks" with me as much as possible learning everyday, because in a few years snap! the nest is empty -- now negotiating meal dates with them to stay connected. New Subscriber here, so you're clearly risen to YT Popularity. Love, 90's Crunchy Mama 💞
Just here to say that I went to a regular school for the first 4 years of my school life, and then my parents switched us to homeschool. I had SO many socially awkward classmates at my first school and along with useful stuff I also learned a lot of garbage. After homeschooling the rest of my education, I became a teacher. I never had trouble with the social skills needed to be one, as a matter of fact, after being a teacher for five years, I realized I wanted my children to be homeschooled as well, because the education system is so messed up.
Honest question, what do you personally think is messed up about the school system? (I assume you are in the states?) You have unique perspective as someone who was public and homeschooled and has worked in it as a teacher.
@@madisonlimb It would be very hard to write what all goes on in a-- not only brief-- but also non-controversial way. A lot of what the education system is pushing into kids goes strictly against my faith and beliefs, and to tell everything that happened and goes on would just not fit all here. Also, is very controversial, and I wouldn't want to start that kind of threat here. But aside from that, there is a very deep loss of what the true role of a teacher vs. a parent is. The education system is pushing to take over parenting kids and dismiss parents as the true authority and responsible adults in charge of their own children. Granted, there are parents that like that and prefer to have the school take over raising them and they just drop their kids off and pick them up everyday. But there are parents that want to be very involved with their children's upbringing, and schools are very unsupportive of it. Now, that is only my experience, in a couple of schools, so take it with a grain of salt. 😊 But I see the trend surpass more than just the schools I worked at. It was enough for me to know that I wanted to be the parent that was in charge of my children's upbringing, and to me that meant homeschooling them. Hope that answers your question a bit?
Idk, I had a formerly-homeschooled coworker who could barely open an email, thought the world was like 30 years old, and all kinds of wild beliefs. I think as long as you’re teaching them properly, and not using it as an opportunity to isolate them, that’s your choice.
i was homeschooled and then went to school but i have to say i did prefer having a tutor at home and then i met other kids who were homseschooled and they were very strange.
I think it’s interesting you blame being homeschooled for this. I’ve seen public schooled adults who couldn’t do those things either.
That’s not a homeschool thing that sounds like a cult thing to me.
@@sadiemcc9363 you might be onto something sadie
Should meet my son, can work in several computer languages, build computers from scraps, understood Folding at Home when he was 12, loves Ubuntu and makes awesome jam and goat cheese .
Yes!!!! I constantly tell people your school setting doesn’t determine introvert/extrovert/socially awkward/social “normal”- that’s just who you are innately
True! I know some people who are truly socially awkward and went to public school. I also know a lot of homeschoolers and they definitely aren’t weird. I went to public school and am a super introvert who has a fine social life but I don’t love to “people”. My son also attends public school and is the most extroverted and outgoing person I know. He’s very social and always has to be doing something with friends or on his phone with friends (he’s an only child so no siblings to play with). The personality you are born with can be affected by poor socialization, but it won’t totally change who you are
There is a beautiful song called "When I leave the room" by Natalie Grant. One line says, "you'll have a seat to the front row of everything I don't know." And I think it's so amazing. We don't have to know everything - our job is to instill a love of learning and teach them how to find the answers to things they don't know.
I love this so much!
For those public schooled parents out there doubting their ability to homeschool, perhaps it's time to reevaluate your trust in a system that left you feeling not qualified to teach your own children.
For me, homeschooling is a gift.
Especially of time.
An average child enrolled in public school from K-12 will spend a minimum of 16,000 hours away from home. That's not counting extracurricular activities or homework hours. 16,000 hours amounts to more than a year and a half away from home- during the most magical and crucial growing years for a person.
Children raised in homeschooling families are in the real world every day, this way they are even more prepared to thrive.
We're meant to be connected in our families, not separated into our individual compartments (kids go in the school box, parents go in the work box, grandparents go in the retirement home box). We have so much to gain from being together. ❤️
Thank you for this video.
It's true I was homeschooled from 4th to graduation. My social skills are horrible when u are only socialized the way your mother wants you socialized.
My husband was homeschooled. It was the adults who were homeschooled that changed my mind. They were all different and had flaws, but they just seemed so well-adjusted and comfortable in their own skin. They could jump into conversations with people of all ages. I started to be able to tell which adults were homeschooled even before they told me. We are 6 kids and 11 years into homeschooling now and it has been the most beautiful family adventure we've ever experienced (and we started below the poverty line on government assistance, so it's not just for the upper middle class).
It's definitely not just for middle class families! When my mom started homeschooling us, we were below the poverty line, too.
I was homeschooled and I plan on homeschooling my children. I didn't go through a shock with socialization, have a bachelor's degree, and a good paying job. My parents were told off by family members that I was being deprived and that they were doing me wrong. Now, as an adult, they tell my parents that they did a great job with me. I loved being homschooled, you learn things that are not taught in public schools and I was able to go to places with my mom while my dad worked. My mother also got talked down about not working to homeschool me but, she told me she never regretted it, even more so now seeing how I turned out. I've had cousins almost in tears tell me that they wish their mothers were at home with them due to what the ended up experiencing.
In my opinion, homeschooling is a beautiful thing when it's done right. You are able to teach your children what you want them to know and the information is not going through someone else's filtering system.
I was a public school kid, and I was lucky to go to a really good public school. When I went to college i met a LOT of homeschool kids. None of the homeschool kids i met had social anxiety or trouble socializing. I on the other hand couldnt order a pizza over the phone. Luckily I was able to overcome that in college and really came out of my shell. I went from panic attacks over presenting in high school to being a really confident and relaxed public speaker in college and integrated into the workplace well afterwards. Academically, I believe public school is great for average students, but kids below average struggle to get their needs met and kids above averagen are often held back. Additionally, the school day and homework is just way too long. I spent way too much time doing repetitive busy work on stuff i understood really well, i could have accomplished so much more and still did well academically if I wasn't constrained to busy work that wasted my time and my teacher's time. We currently live in an area with a public school that does not perform well, so due to both mine and my husband's experiences in the public school system, the people we've met, and where we live, we will be homeschooling.
In my personal experience of being home-schooled up until Junior year, yes it makes you more socially awkward. I went to the homeschool co-ops once or twice a week, and had some after-school activities, but nothing will beat being able to be around the same people for 6-8 hours almost every single day.
I was public schooled my whole life and I am more awkward than 98% of the homeschooled people I have met. (I went to a Christian college, I've met a lot of them)
I've only recently found your channel - I homeschooled my kids, and we did a *ton* of socializing, especially when they were young. It does get harder when you get to middle/high school and they need friends based on common interests rather than 'you're the same age!' But it can be hard in school too, especially if you're quirky (I went to public school, I was quirky and it doesn't cure the condition! LOL). Anyway, they have all graduated from college now and are successful, well socialized adults. Your channel gives me some nostalgia, even if I was only crunchy-adjacent. ☺
I was homeschooled from kindergarten to 12th grade, and it's one of the things I am most grateful for in life. I LOVED being homeschooled. I grew up with flexibility, freedom, and a way to build my own sense of responsibility. If I wanted to do my math outside on the swingset, I could. If I wanted to double up and finish my spelling early, I could. I genuinely love learning now, I have a wonderful relationship with my family, and I feel able to do whatever I decide to put effort into. Thank you for sticking up for homeschooling! Keep at it!
I was homeschooled 1st-12th I am 26 now. I have a lot of friends a good job and I never have regretted being homeschooled. It’s funny, when people find out I was homeschooled they gape and say “ I never would have guessed! You are so well adjusted”. My parents did a good job I guess😅
I went to public school and am still socially awkward and big time introvert. My husband was homeschooled and he can talk to anyone and makes friends everywhere. It’s not the “school”, it’s one’s personality.
There are a BUNCH of social issues that public and even private school students. Bullying, toxic social media interactions, transgender indoctrination, peer pressure for drugs and sex, making fun of kids who excel academically, etc...Obviously, homeschooling won't protect kids from everything, nor should parents try. Socialization is about quantity AND quality. We wouldn't expect a parent to let a bully hang out with their kid, even if the kid has no friends.
I think one of the most wonderful thing is the fact we have options. Each and every family can choose what is right for them. I mean, stop and really think about it. You have the absolute joy to homeschool your children or child with whatever curriculum works for you, they can do a hybrid if the corporation you live in will work with you, use private or parochial school or public school. You can use what suits you/your family/child best. That is an amazing gift. Whatever the case may be - our kids deserve a childhood full of education, fun & play along with healthy boundaries to live a fulfilled life.
I think it depends on the family and their reasons for homeschooling, as well as the parents educational background, whether the kids will truly benefit or not, from homeschooling. We went to church with a large family that homeschooled, and they were socially awkward by default because their education centered on the Bible, and they only hung out with either their family, or church members their family approved of. I think the awkwardness started with the parents though, because they made awkward choices for their kids, like putting the kids in adult Bible study classes because " the kids knew more about the Bible than their peers", but REALLY, the parents were in the class with their kids, and praised and rewarded them for being little " know it alls" and were oblivious themselves as to how awkward the other adults felt having smug little kids in a class reciting things, and not being able, as adults, to discuss nuanced topics about Bible passages, or ask legit adult questions because they had to be mindful that there were children in the room. ( Kids were age 7-10, so pretty young). I have seen some of the curriculum the Bible based homeschool parents use, and it is concerning in areas like minimizing slavery and the Holocaust, and teaching strict creationism and that evolution is not real. So, yeah it's not just about awkwardness, it's about where that awkwardness comes from, and what curriculum is being used.
Also, I have met a few parents who, educationally were ill prepared to homeschool and did so because their kids were constantly in trouble and getting kicked out for things like fighting and stealing. Those parents are not your typical homeschool parents, and they were the first to admit that it kept their kids from trouble in the short term, but in the long run, it's unclear if it just prolonged the kids getting help they may have needed for things like anger control, and truly learning proper social skills.
Motive matters with every choice. I knew some folks who chose public school programs because teachers and admin gave them pats on the back for having such "gifted" children that the schools kept away from the "riff raff" -- can have a similiar effect to what you are describing. That's not a school choice thing, that's really just about parental narcissism and control. As regards the parents "home schooling" because the kids are expelled, that's one of the things I find most reprehensible about our public school system, every child should have the right to a public education and home school should only be a free choice made by a family that thinks it is best for them, never a coerced or forced decision. The schools have no right to refuse education to some children over others.
This is why I am terrified of homeschooling. I want my kids to be able to make their own choices about their lifestyle, for example my cousins were forced into heavily Christian homeschooling, and they may be smart but they are socially awkward and they haven’t been in very many real life situations! Public school can be a nightmare sometimes but it taught me a lot of life lessons that my cousins don’t know. If I were to homeschool I would have to find a way for my kids to still be able to meet all different sizes, shapes, and types of children and adults. It seems like that is hard to find in small homeschool groups.
I think your story really drives home the point that kids will be as weird as their parents, and the weird families are the ones that stand out. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had people be surprised when I say I was homeschooled because my family is so “normal”
I'm not going to disagree that those parents made a lot of mistakes. The weird thing is to highlight that their failings across many choices highlights an "issue" with homeschooling. Do we use the stories of horrible bullies and say "parents you better be careful of putting your kids into a traditional school! We know of this one family that let their child be a nasty monster and THEY public schooled!"
No, we don't. In fact, you could so easily say that the major issues with school shooters, bullying, and abysmal test scores could be linked to the very hands off approach parents can take when the school takes over most of their responsibilities with their children. But we dont all jump up and say traditional schooling is ok for a select few but overall a questionable choice. How many other areas do we have this response to the things that are socially common vs uncommon?
@@ruthdurfee4439" we", as in society at large, actually have that response in a lot of areas, if you stop and think about it. Although, I'm not quite sure you get the full point of my post. There are a lot of reasons people homeschool, and the outcomes are sometimes questionable, but not always. As I said, I've known some very bright, capable parents who chose to homeschool because they could, and had/have the money and time to do things to really broaden their kids horizons, like traveling and learning as they travel across the country and around the world. That's different than feeling forced to because your kids behavior is causing frustration at school, or because you want to keep your kids in a bubble and only teach them what you want them to know. The last one is super culty, and not just weird or awkward, but potentially harmful. Think about all the Duggar kids and how the older girls have been sharing the damage done to them because their parents were strict, staunchly religious, and homeschooling helped them to keep their kids not only sheltered, it kept them from seeing the truth that what was happening to them was emotional abuse, and led to their vulnerability to be sexually abused by their own brother.
I was homeschooled growing up, and it was seen as “unusual” or “weird.” I have 3 kids myself now, and I LOVE homeschooling them! The stigma has also died down, it’s not as “unusual” to homeschool, at least where I live in Iowa. I never regretted being homeschooled and not going to a traditional school, we had plenty of activities to keep us busy and socially engaged. And even though my oldest just only finished Kindergarten, I loved every minute of teaching her this year, and am looking forward to the years to come!
I was homeschooled for 2 years of my life. While I loved my several years of private Christian elementary, homeschooling helped me develop a sense of self, taught me what I loved, and gave me confidence to enter an urban public school with what I needed the most: an identity.
Don't forget all the free resources that are provided to you by your public library. There is tons of classes offered and if not talk to your local librarian. There are great resource.
I am, too. I went to public school my whole life and I'd probably be LESS weird had i been homeschooled. Im sending my granddaughters to private Christian scholl because I don't have the discipline or patience anymore to home school and i know it, but i want them to be in a place im more comfortable about their education and what they're being exposed to daily. I'm not a fanatic, it just seemed like the best compromise between the two. My youngest, who is 4, has ADHD and the 7 year old would never be able to concentrate, either in a homeschool environment. I admire anyone who can do it and do it correctly.
Edit: please excuse the no capitol letters and the misspelling. My autocorrect has a mind of its own this morning, and I don't feel like correcting all of it. ❤
Homeschooling isn't about discipline or patience any more than parenting is. If you are raising them, saturate the environment with books and opportunities to try things, just reading with them and pointing out sight words will give them a major boost. Consider the school as daycare and real education is with you, you will be amazed
@@cherylcarlson3315 we read a lot as it is my favorite pastime. I'm just pointing out that I don't feel able to make sure her lessons are done in a timely manner and without my losing patience trying to teach her and help her while her younger sister is running around. We live with my son, but he works and their mother is no help. Obviously , or I wouldn't be raising them. I have sight words taped on just about everything in our home, and they both go on hunts every day to find the words I give them. I do believe that discipline and patience are a large part of parenting, though. This being my second go around, I am doing things a lot differently than I did the first time and it seems to be working better. Patience is a large part of effective parenting in my opinion. As is discipline. It has to be consistently done, but I have learned as I've gotten older that it can be much more gently done.
I only know one set of kids who were homeschooled, they went to my church. Considering their behavior, i assumed they got kicked out of public school and this was the only option. Never found out if that was true or not and they disappeared from church at some point so I'll never know.
Still, I can honestly say that for those two, homeschool just meant leaving them at home without getting called by the school. I don't know if anyone ever checks in on homeschooled children, but someone should probably call every now and again to make sure they aren't just being left home alone without repercussion.
Why the heck would any parent just leave their kids at home alone and call it homeschool?! I for one, don't want the government all up in my business. However, I would never leave my kids alone so I can go to work. I want to stay home with my kids and experience life with them!
Yes, people check in on homeschooled children... LOL I live in a highly regulated state where my children have to take standardized tests periodically and they have to be interviewed by an approved evaluator with experience in education. I have to show 180 days of work and give them a portfolio of our work all year long- then that gets sent to our local public school. All of this comes after I inform our school district of my intentions year after year. There are VERY FEW states that do not require anything...
Why would someone leave their children at home alone and not educate them when the public school system provides free education and free babysitters!? It's best not to assume their situations- perhaps they were both struggling with mental and behavioral issues and it was BEST for THEM to stay home! They probably avoided lots of judgment and people thinking things like this about them... and who knows maybe they left church for similar reasons.
@@mountainmama7155because not everyone's home life is good. Some kids genuinely need public school for this reason. Some kids have abusive families and their escape is going to school. Which is extremely sad and unfortunate
I homeschooled all four of my kids from preschool through high school. If I had to do it all over again, I would still homeschool. I might make a few changes here and there, but overall it was one of the best experiences of my life. Now all my kids are grown and out of the house and I feel so blessed to have had all that extra time with my amazing kids. Now my kids are getting married and having kids of their own and they want to homeschool their kids too. I get the wonderful opportunity of coming alongside them to encourage them, and pray for them, and assist them if they need it. Homeschool rocks!
We homeschooled our kids from kindergarten through their senior year of high school. It was one of the very best parenting decisions we ever made. All three of our kids are now attending college, work part-time, have active social lives and are happy and thriving. They have always been very adept socially. I would 100% home school all over again
I am homeschooled and every time someone asks me how I make friends I tell them, well, on Monday I go to Forest school and on Tuesday… just because I’m homeschooled doesn’t mean I don’t leave home!🙄
As a mom whose child just graduated public school I would give anything to go back and homeschool to have all those special moments. We lose so much time with our kids while they are in school.
As a former home educator I totally agree with your video. I home educated my sons, here in the UK when there weren't many people doing it. The couple of main questions I was asked were:
1. Is it legal?
2. What about socialisation?
Then my kids were grilled:
1. So what do you learn at home?
2. Will you sit exams?
3. Do you miss school (my youngest went to school for about a year - well it was nursery - he was 4 when he was withdrawn)?
Homeschooled by my mom my whole life, I will always be grateful to her for that. Homeschool does not work for everyone, everyone's kids and families have different needs, the important thing is to have those options and resources available to you for what you need. Homeschooling is a big commitment, For the first several years my mom had to put so much time and dedication into it, when we got older she was able to pull back, as we were old enough to know what we needed to do and get it done. She would print up a schedule every week of tests, quizzes, required work and reading and then she would trust us to manage our time with it. I wasn't always perfect at that, but it helped me learn some skills of dividing my time up. And like mentioned in the video, we were often finished with all our work at noon, and could go with our parent on outings.
The VAST majority of parents are not capable of teaching their child a single subject, let alone every subject needed to meet appropriate standards and be successful in society. At the end of the day, how well you’re socialized takes a back seat to whether or not you actually got a decent education. I was homeschooled K-12. Ask me how I know.
Homeschool mom for 13+ years. Totally agree. It’s so worth it ❤
Maybe if you selfishly want to have your kids childhoods all to yourself. Let them go. You don’t own them.
Actually, they have more confidence and socialized than a lot of their public schooled friends…yes they do have friends. Many!
@@MustardseedMomma68 I’ve seen research to suggest otherwise. You do know what research is, right? 😂
@@MustardseedMomma68 every mom thinks their kid is great, but when they get to the workforce, I hope they know how to function
@@MustardseedMomma68 Confidence doesn't mean intelligence or social skills. And yeah, you would have confidence if you had only had your mom telling you how wonderful you are your whole life. You would have no idea that you are just like everyone else.
I really enjoyed this video and agreed with it. I especially loved the ending about the journey and the fun of not having all the answers. That is definitely where it is for me ❤
Socialization questions as a mom who homeschools and who was homeschooled always makes me laugh. It is one of the stupidest questions because when in ones adult life are they stuck in a room with people who are their own age, all day - every day? But, I usually try to be kind to the poor souls who don't know what socialization actually means.
As a teacher, I have always supported my homeschool friends in any way that they need. I know that every parent isn’t able to homeschool, but those that do, I support. I wanted to homeschool my own son, but that didn’t happen for financial reasons at the time. I have always wondered, where do you buy your dresses. I love them. ❤
Homeschool for the win!
I've known awkward kids who went to public school, and socially adept kids who were homeschooled.
I was homeschooled for 12 years, spent 1 year (2 semesters/4 classes), doing dual enrollment at the local technical college, and went to a 4 year university, and graduated with a B.S.
We just finished our 6th year of homeschooling, and my first year schooling 4 kids simultaneously (with a toddler along for the ride). It was a lot, but it's awesome. I've taught 4 kids how to read now, which is such an amazing feeling when your kids figure it out. My oldest 2 read constantly and devour books like crazy, and my younger 2 are getting there, but just need experience and practice.
Socialization? My kids can come with me to the doctor's office, and sit calmly while they wait to be called back. They can come with me grocery shopping and be helpful and engaging, without me having to keep them entertained, or constantly correcting them (most of the time, they are kids). I actually enjoy spending time with them, and they enjoy spending time with each other.
If you think you can't do it, I'd urge you to find out more information. It's not as hard as you may think!
Homeschooled for 17 years! Best decision we made for our family. You got this!
Before ever having children myself, I taught math to public, private, and homeschool kiddos. That experience solidified my desire to homeschool. We are on year two of homeschooling and we all love it. It’s been such a blessing to spend so much time with my kids and get the chance to take learning with us wherever we go.
Thanks for talking about this. Emily, you are probably easing into this but I encourage you to look into unschooling. It’s magical! My unschooled son started his own business at 11. He is BRILLIANT! He learns about everything that interests him and a lot about what interests his dad and I, just because he is around us all of the time. We do fun things together and make sure to expose him to different experiences so that he is more well rounded.
i did that.
I am unschooling mom at heart. But both my kids wanted and needed very structured programs with others teaching them. They were great with me when they were little but craved the school experience. I am grateful we could afford to send them to programs. They didn't like being homeschooled when they got older so they both attended structured programs. My oldest ended up going to school at 8th grade; and my youngest is now in a high school program for homeschoolers. I think if kids thrive with that style it is awesome. My kids were just not into it.
I liked this format!! I think you made good points!
I didn’t, I found it preach-ey
@@Blue-sy1gh ok, cool!
We are a Classical Conversations homeschool family and we LOVE it. Huge answer to prayer and it fully meets our need for community while still schooling at home. 🏡
I attended both conventional schools and was homeschooled for part of my childhood. I was awkward and poorly socialized even during my conventional years. If anything, I did better socially once I was out of the regular school environment. Overall, my experience being homeschooled was positive.