History's Best(?) Couples - Valentine's Day Special

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  • Опубліковано 19 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 3,2 тис.

  • @OverlySarcasticProductions
    @OverlySarcasticProductions  4 роки тому +8911

    Oops! Looks like Blue scheduled this video about ten hours early. Nobody panic! -R

  • @Ellie._dav.s
    @Ellie._dav.s 4 роки тому +4153

    Caesar really pulled a “your mama” on Brutus

    • @robertlewis6915
      @robertlewis6915 4 роки тому +199

      Even worse, he apparently did it accidentally.

    • @janaterbio8010
      @janaterbio8010 4 роки тому +104

      @@robertlewis6915 I'm not even gonna act surprised. That sounds just like what he'd do.

    • @gwenward2141
      @gwenward2141 4 роки тому +93

      Isn't there a historical theory that Brutus was actually Cato's Wife's son by Caesar? So, the poor boy had to listen to his dad embarrass him in front of all his friends...

    • @pumpkinprincess3786
      @pumpkinprincess3786 4 роки тому +42

      no wonder he wanted to stab him

    • @belafeldbusch3397
      @belafeldbusch3397 4 роки тому +39

      Not only did he pull a “your mana” but he pulled the mother of all “your Mamas”

  • @teodoraristic822
    @teodoraristic822 4 роки тому +5600

    "The emperor only had eyes for one person, his son"
    *oh no*
    " 's wife"
    *oh ok*

    • @mozarteanchaos
      @mozarteanchaos 4 роки тому +407

      dodged a bullet there

    • @bapabs
      @bapabs 4 роки тому +512

      @@mozarteanchaos from a bullet to a hammer

    • @prawnchips9461
      @prawnchips9461 4 роки тому +652

      not as bad, but still *oh no*

    • @teodoraristic822
      @teodoraristic822 4 роки тому +503

      @@prawnchips9461 dodged a warhead but stepped on a landmine

    • @FortunateSon-mo9zi
      @FortunateSon-mo9zi 3 роки тому +163

      Saying, "It's my son's wife," has the same energy as, "We're only adopted siblings."

  • @Limrasson
    @Limrasson 4 роки тому +3045

    "Everything is the World is about sex. Except sex. Sex is about power."

    • @ADeeSHUPA
      @ADeeSHUPA 4 роки тому +21

      uP

    • @joshuajordan6278
      @joshuajordan6278 3 роки тому +43

      -Oscar Wilde (IIRC)

    • @AkilahOsa
      @AkilahOsa 3 роки тому +16

      Well this is accurate to a fault!🤔😌😅

    • @AnimatedPurp
      @AnimatedPurp 3 роки тому +23

      Wait why is this a line in Janelle Monáe's Screwed

    • @thatdude1853
      @thatdude1853 3 роки тому +7

      Frank Underwood. You are a person of vulture.

  • @clarenceonyekwere5428
    @clarenceonyekwere5428 4 роки тому +4102

    Cato: Read the letter out loud
    Caesar: um, yeah.. no
    Cato: READ THE LETTER
    Caesar: I really don’t think that’s a good idea
    Cato: READ IT
    Caesar: If you insist...

    • @elijahpadilla5083
      @elijahpadilla5083 4 роки тому +678

      As the letter is being read . . .
      Cato: You can stop now, Caesar.
      Caesar: *keeps going*
      Cato, positively writhing: P L E A S E

    • @clarenceonyekwere5428
      @clarenceonyekwere5428 4 роки тому +500

      @@elijahpadilla5083 Caesar: *Keeps reading the letter, slowly*
      Cato: *dies slowly *
      Brutus (under his breath): One day you will pay for this...

    • @4thScrivener
      @4thScrivener 4 роки тому +233

      @@clarenceonyekwere5428 Brutus: im so gonna stab this guy

    • @clarenceonyekwere5428
      @clarenceonyekwere5428 4 роки тому +248

      @@4thScrivener on the fateful ides of March
      Brutus: *stabs Caesar* For reading THAT LETTER
      Caesar: How was that my fault? HOW.. *Dies of being blamed for something that wasn’t his fault... and a few stab wounds*

    • @uber__1400
      @uber__1400 4 роки тому +59

      top ten pictures before disaster

  • @riptidesatyr7736
    @riptidesatyr7736 4 роки тому +3437

    “The real sorrow here is the decline of good governance.”
    One of blue’s biggest fears, that and the ocean

    • @noytelinu
      @noytelinu 4 роки тому +54

      And modern history

    • @randomcartoon8901
      @randomcartoon8901 4 роки тому +81

      @Vice- Virgo
      THE DEEPER YOU GO THE MORE NIGHTMARES THERE ARE! THERE'S ALWAYS A BIGGER FISH!

    • @blackvial
      @blackvial 4 роки тому +16

      @Vice- Virgo he had to watch Aquaman on a tiny screen inorder to not pass out from some of the scenes

    • @PregnantOrc
      @PregnantOrc 4 роки тому +9

      Second only to the fear of inadequate dome maintenance

    • @jordinagel1184
      @jordinagel1184 4 роки тому +14

      To be fair, the deep, open ocean IS damn scary

  • @merrittanimation7721
    @merrittanimation7721 4 роки тому +3336

    "Caesar! Are you passing notes in the Senate!"
    "N-no!"
    "I'm gonna have to send you to the Consul."

    • @maddie9602
      @maddie9602 4 роки тому +58

      This comment is criminally underrated.

    • @beanieboi5477
      @beanieboi5477 4 роки тому +34

      Why is this great and horrible at the same time

    • @ajaxhopper9859
      @ajaxhopper9859 3 роки тому +66

      Brutus: "Is there anything you'd like to share with the class, Caesar?"
      Caesar: "Ummm... nope"

    • @PeterEmrys
      @PeterEmrys 3 роки тому +49

      Brutus: "Really? Why, embarassed?"
      Caesar: "Oh no, I'm proud, this is for your sake"

    • @CollinMcLean
      @CollinMcLean 2 роки тому +1

      @@willo90li You say horrible... I say funny as hell...

  • @Voltaire-bo6dh
    @Voltaire-bo6dh 4 роки тому +2974

    Caesar was "every man's woman and every woman's man"; even in bed the roman dictator proved adaptive.

    • @tomaszzalewski4541
      @tomaszzalewski4541 4 роки тому +15

      He wasn't emperor....

    • @fatrooster4632
      @fatrooster4632 4 роки тому +141

      @@tomaszzalewski4541 He was emperor in all but name

    • @Voltaire-bo6dh
      @Voltaire-bo6dh 4 роки тому +73

      @@tomaszzalewski4541 Well he was a dictator of the republic due to the whole emergency action/powers thing. In that, he ruled as an emperor.dictator and allowed for Augustus to become emperor., with many textbook emperors taking his name as a title tzar/kaisar or conflated themselves with Caesar to reflect Caesar's style of rule etc. So while Rome, during his dictatorship, was a republic in name it functioned as an empire/dictatorship making him an emperor by proxy. You could of course make the argument that he died too soon ,but he did declare himself dictator for life ,and as we know that always has hawkish action. At any rate, even though Caesar acted as a emperor, I should have used dictator, thanks for correcting me though.
      Lastly, Suetonius, the guy in the "every man's women" quote casually called him emperor in his book the "Twelve Caesar's" and was considered to be an emperor by peers like him. The only thing that prevented an official notation of the title was Caesar's untimely death; after all Rome had been stormed on before and it not like the guy who crossed the Rubicon and defeated Vercingetorix with the most galaxy brain strat ever couldn't overtake the senate. The only thing stopping him was a lack of time and the negative political impacts that Caesar would have suffered if it was done too quickly, tarnishing his political appearance. But doing authoritarian power grabs got him killed in the first place so I guess it wasn't meant to be.
      P.S. the cult of Ishtar's practices were crazy and a good read to if your looking for more stuff along these lines.

    • @jasonbelstone3427
      @jasonbelstone3427 4 роки тому +56

      @@tomaszzalewski4541 Correct. He just sat in a special, non throne, golden chair, and was instrumental to the selection of consuls over an entire empire.
      EDIT: Just Caesar doing inconspicuous Caesar things.

    • @zoeshamowie5525
      @zoeshamowie5525 4 роки тому +29

      We love a verse King.

  • @rinflame44
    @rinflame44 4 роки тому +2721

    "The only thing Caesar couldn't smash was Parthia." - somehow deserves its own T-shirt.

    • @Betrix5060
      @Betrix5060 4 роки тому +52

      To be fair, it's only because he died before getting the chance to make his attempt.

    • @FortunateSon-mo9zi
      @FortunateSon-mo9zi 4 роки тому +25

      @@Betrix5060 That's probably for the better. It's pretty likely that he would share the fate of Crassus and get his heavy infantry shredded by the Parthian horse archers. Would've suprised them more than those Charlies ever suprised my squad...

    • @Betrix5060
      @Betrix5060 4 роки тому +15

      @@FortunateSon-mo9zi I mean he had both Crassus's and Anthony's experiences to learn from. Not to say he would've done spectacularly, but the Romans were nothing if not adaptable.

    • @waterbear46
      @waterbear46 4 роки тому +13

      @@FortunateSon-mo9zi I don't think so. Crassus got himself into that situation by carelessly marching into desert. Caesar was always patient and careful to not put himself into disadvantage. Plus he had Crassuso's experience to learn from, so he would know what to expect from parthians. Romans were extremely adaptable and rarely made the same mistake twice and given how smart Caesar was I really doubt he would repeat the same mistakes.

    • @neutralfellow9736
      @neutralfellow9736 4 роки тому +4

      @@FortunateSon-mo9zi Look up Publius Ventidius Bassus, who was a mere officer of Caesar... Also, ffs Cassius defeated the Parthians just one year after Carrhae...

  • @Petrico94
    @Petrico94 4 роки тому +4088

    "It's okay to be gay, but only if you're the top." Definitely sounds like the Romans. One part progressive one part mental gymnastics why it's okay for Rome to take everything but not the greeks

    • @mjbull5156
      @mjbull5156 4 роки тому +78

      It was not mental gymnastics, it was a largely different values system.

    • @christiandauz3742
      @christiandauz3742 4 роки тому +58

      They don't care if someone is Black, Womam or/and Atheist as long as they get the job done
      Success is the ultimate paradime of Rome until KKKhristianity came
      I wished Rome chose Industrialization instead of Christianization. The world would be a better place

    • @Petrico94
      @Petrico94 3 роки тому +169

      @@christiandauz3742 No, Romans care if you're not Roman. They especially care if you're a woman. Can't say I know their policy on atheism but as soon as Khristianty started to take off they really hated it.
      Sorry pagans didn't invent coal sooner (?)

    • @christiandauz3742
      @christiandauz3742 3 роки тому +7

      @@Petrico94
      History wouldn't change if Caesar was black. Washington on the other hand...

    • @Petrico94
      @Petrico94 3 роки тому +18

      @@christiandauz3742 Is it still Washington if he's born black?? For that matter is it even still Caesar if he's born... what the hell are you putting in my head?

  • @russergee49
    @russergee49 4 роки тому +4792

    “Why can’t you just let this poor library ace live his life?”
    I never thought I’d relate so hard to a sentiment directed at Louis XVI

    • @twoscarabsintheswarm9055
      @twoscarabsintheswarm9055 4 роки тому +55

      I mean, I related to when he got his head y'know

    • @drawapretzel6003
      @drawapretzel6003 4 роки тому +15

      pretty sure he was speaking about himself, but okay

    • @Anon-pq6jd
      @Anon-pq6jd 4 роки тому +12

      I feel called out 😭

    • @justsomeguyanimations
      @justsomeguyanimations 4 роки тому +129

      When he said ace I just thought he meant someone who thrived in a library. It somehow didn't occur to my dumb brain that he meant asexual

    • @Mx.Phoenix
      @Mx.Phoenix 4 роки тому +53

      @@justsomeguyanimations same and I AM asexual 😆

  • @riptidesatyr7736
    @riptidesatyr7736 4 роки тому +2771

    “The Emperor only had eyes on one woman, his son’s *wife*,”
    You know that’s not the *worst* choice...

    • @Striker2054
      @Striker2054 4 роки тому +364

      At least they didn't get all Habsburg in this one.

    • @Striker2054
      @Striker2054 4 роки тому +43

      @Vice- Virgo Yeah.

    • @gostovahs8121
      @gostovahs8121 4 роки тому +212

      "tell me about it" says Oedipus (who hopes he's answering in the right direction )

    • @jamesphillips531
      @jamesphillips531 4 роки тому +86

      God damn these anime plots are getting really realistic

    • @vlgnetdragon9757
      @vlgnetdragon9757 4 роки тому +28

      And thus the ntr begins.

  • @chrisc9526
    @chrisc9526 4 роки тому +4439

    "Why y'all being homophobic to Caesar?"
    "Homophobic? Naw, its fine he's gay, he's just a bottom."
    Impeccable

  • @jordansalt6709
    @jordansalt6709 4 роки тому +1795

    Romans: so you did it with a guy? cool
    Dude: yeah, I was on bottom
    Roman: HA! Gayyyyyyyy!

    • @prawnchips9461
      @prawnchips9461 4 роки тому +169

      i want to see Romans' reaction on "power bottom"

    • @desmondgentle1474
      @desmondgentle1474 4 роки тому +38

      Six seasons and a movie!

    • @ADeeSHUPA
      @ADeeSHUPA 4 роки тому +6

      @@prawnchips9461 Indonesian

    • @ojutay8375
      @ojutay8375 3 роки тому +9

      @@prawnchips9461 still receiving so still unacceptable

    • @mackenziewoloschuk7375
      @mackenziewoloschuk7375 10 місяців тому +1

      What if Caesar mentioned he topped from the bottom? What would they say then cuz I'm curious now lmao

  • @kevinmerlos409
    @kevinmerlos409 4 роки тому +1901

    As a wise man once said: “learning is fun, and learning demands sacrifice.”

  • @leem6218
    @leem6218 4 роки тому +2801

    Marie was 15 when they married, and she spent nowhere near what some of the other nobles spent on clothes. Marie gets dunked on a lot, but it wasn't her fault. Her last words were to her executioner, apologizing for stepping on his toes.

    • @Hey-Its-Dingo
      @Hey-Its-Dingo 3 роки тому +591

      A lot of women in positions of power get blamed for the crime of "some very rich man wanted to bone her when she was underage"
      ...
      And WAY too many of them died when they were still kids.

    • @NapaCat
      @NapaCat 3 роки тому +135

      @@Hey-Its-Dingo her husband was 15.

    • @carlirvinenicolas7874
      @carlirvinenicolas7874 3 роки тому +66

      @@NapaCat So blame it on all the older nobility?

    • @redrubyrose618
      @redrubyrose618 3 роки тому +24

      Also didn't they use his oldest son got him Sexually Assaulted by many prostitutes only for him to die of probably an STD or somethin

    • @riakun
      @riakun 3 роки тому +77

      I recently watched an entire documentary on her. It was incredible what she went through before her execution.

  • @nitrocharge2404
    @nitrocharge2404 4 роки тому +4020

    History's true greatest couple: Diogenes and his barrel

    • @marocat4749
      @marocat4749 4 роки тому +71

      Not tragic enough XD

    • @bforblitz4847
      @bforblitz4847 4 роки тому +184

      @@marocat4749 How about Diogenes and his bowl? I heard they went through a nasty break up, but that could just be rumors

    • @marocat4749
      @marocat4749 4 роки тому +58

      @@bforblitz4847 Heard something too,poor bowl. Bowl deserves more.

    • @benjiusofficial
      @benjiusofficial 4 роки тому +15

      It is said he was in it all the time.

    • @Gold23228
      @Gold23228 4 роки тому +18

      Him and public jerking /shitting when wanting to make a statement is cute too

  • @PsychShrew
    @PsychShrew 4 роки тому +784

    "Morning is a stretch, because she woke up around noon"
    Big mood

    • @gunnarschlichting9886
      @gunnarschlichting9886 4 роки тому +42

      From another comment, she was 14 and he was 15 at the time, so not really surprised lol. She's literally a teen partying it up, while he's awkward and wants to spend his time alone.

  • @sammather8295
    @sammather8295 4 роки тому +1327

    “The emperor only had his eyes on one woman, his sons wife”. This is how you get assassinated in Tang Dynasty China. But the son didn’t do that, so big props to him for both not starting the civil war and not joining it once someone else started it.

    • @clayxros576
      @clayxros576 4 роки тому +107

      His son probably had a brain, extremely rare in that environment.

    • @sarahcole9661
      @sarahcole9661 4 роки тому +34

      Wu Zetian would be concerned by and also somewhat proud of Lady Yang, I imagine

    • @adamwu4565
      @adamwu4565 4 роки тому +11

      He had other wives and concubines to commiserate with.

    • @adamwu4565
      @adamwu4565 4 роки тому +40

      @@sarahcole9661 A very similar thing happened to Wu Zetian herself. She entered the courted as a minor concubine of the very old Emperor, and got yoinked by his son, the Crown Prince. Though he waited for the old man to die before officially marrying her.

    • @sarahcole9661
      @sarahcole9661 4 роки тому +2

      @@adamwu4565 yes, that’s why I brought her up

  • @jasonblalock4429
    @jasonblalock4429 4 роки тому +475

    "Every woman's man, and every man's woman" is one of the best lines I've heard in awhile. I guess Rome just didn't appreciate switches.

    • @gewreid5946
      @gewreid5946 4 роки тому +14

      Would that be too bold as a T-Shirt line?

    • @jasonblalock4429
      @jasonblalock4429 4 роки тому +15

      @@gewreid5946 On someone who looks like Orlando Bloom? No. On everyone else? Yes.

    • @rezandrarizkyirianto-1933
      @rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 4 роки тому +12

      Rome is all for domination

    • @simonschnedl
      @simonschnedl 4 роки тому +5

      @@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 But being dominated is a big no-no!

  • @hellNo116
    @hellNo116 4 роки тому +4213

    Sappho was so iconic that an entire sexuality was named after her place of origin. Imagine being this cool

    • @hellothere2464
      @hellothere2464 4 роки тому +360

      and women that are in love with women are generally called sapphics!

    • @amylee2739
      @amylee2739 4 роки тому +396

      I also love that the mlm term is Achillean, and wlw is sapphic

    • @sapphogrove5242
      @sapphogrove5242 4 роки тому +25

      thanks 😎/j

    • @Slm99
      @Slm99 4 роки тому +109

      We live for sapphic bisexuality

    • @robertmiller9735
      @robertmiller9735 4 роки тому +32

      Or that she was the only female gay writer anybody could think of, until recently?

  • @theraginginfernape9496
    @theraginginfernape9496 4 роки тому +3569

    Can we get F's in the chat for Blue, who literally had to research the dong size of a dead king?

  • @NoblesseOblige-17
    @NoblesseOblige-17 4 роки тому +857

    "This is why I can't stand the hyperfixation on famous figures OR media's obsession with edgy 'realism' for that matter, because it's almost always just SEX. Find any other interest! Anything is more interesting than this vapid bedroom mania."
    YES! Thank you! Preach!

    • @ButterflyScarlet
      @ButterflyScarlet 4 роки тому +106

      This exactly! Media hyper-focuses on sex like it's the only thing that matters in life and as if everyone is destined to turn into a drooling idiot over it. Like damn ya'll ain't got hobbies? Friends? Literally anything else going on?? Smh

    • @marocat4749
      @marocat4749 4 роки тому +13

      Like poison man, he has a really interstiing hobby unrelated. And nero was an actor and artist.

    • @DiamondAppendixVODs
      @DiamondAppendixVODs 4 роки тому +38

      Sure sex is cool and all but like, yeah, why is it such a big point to news media or creative media? There's so much more to life than sex, even though it's important for making more humans, and keeping yourself sane

    • @elisac9635
      @elisac9635 4 роки тому +25

      As an ace librarian myself, I approve this message.

    • @7emidio
      @7emidio 4 роки тому +8

      Because, well, sex sells and a lot of people love to talk about it a tad too much? Not unhappy by being the case, for obvious reasons, but I can understand the annoyance since while I love seeing it, I'm not a biggest fan of talking, and when it comes to famous figures, I tend to go for a more machiavellan, cinical and cold aproach, which is exactly why I watch OSP, because they do the exact opposite and it saves me for being gloom and doom every time I think about history, which I do quite a lot, so... yeah.

  • @syph3r_63
    @syph3r_63 4 роки тому +861

    "Or deeply destructive at worst"
    Goddamn it Aphrodite, can't you just chill out for once?

    • @Striker2054
      @Striker2054 4 роки тому +89

      Aphrodite: "But... cute couple!"

    • @syph3r_63
      @syph3r_63 4 роки тому +84

      Everyone else: No, no, no- APHRODITE DROP HELEN RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME-

    • @CrimsonBlasphemy
      @CrimsonBlasphemy 4 роки тому +52

      Aphrodite Areia (Aphrodite the Warlike): *eyes filled with the fires of a 1000 burning ships*, Just try and stop me.

    • @thomaskilmer
      @thomaskilmer 4 роки тому +28

      There is an entire video on this channel about how the answer to that is NO

    • @teridactyl1250
      @teridactyl1250 4 роки тому +27

      Aphrodite: *drops Helen over troy* ‘whoops-‘

  • @seanmcloughlin5983
    @seanmcloughlin5983 4 роки тому +2194

    Can we take a moment to appreciate how badly Marie Antonette has been treated over the centuries, she was blamed for everything wrong with France, as an out of touch aristocrat who was then guillotined and spent the next 300 years as the villain when irl she was just showy princess who didn’t know much about politics since she was a TEENAGER FROM A FOREIGN COUNTRY!

    • @gracegaskell8068
      @gracegaskell8068 3 роки тому +159

      Although, according to a documentary I watched once by Lucy Worsley (very good, you should check it out) she was actually quite politically savvy, things just kept going wrong because of the people around her.

    • @kelseymedoff8472
      @kelseymedoff8472 3 роки тому +254

      Okay, okay, okay, I tried really really hard not to go full on history major nerd rant, but I gotta.
      Marie Antoinette was actually smart, but was also 14 and distinctively NOT FRENCH. The Court of Versailles absolutely hated her because she was specifically an Austrian princess, and France and Austria were not buddies and did not have a history of being buddies. People straight up thought she was a spy for her brother (the HRE). Fun, really actually crappy story when you dig into it, story: at one point, a con-woman and her accomplice had tricked a clergyman to pay for a diamond necklace as a gift for Marie Antoinette, and had paid a prostitute to impersonate Marie Antoinette to get this diamond necklace from the clergyman. When the con fell apart and things came to light, Marie Antoinette was partially blamed for the affair despite being IMPERSONATED AND COMPLETELY INNOCENT (this affair is called the Diamond Necklace Affair btw, and there's a really bad historical drama movie about it that my French Revolution prof had us watch the trailer to before we could talk about the actual affair). The French absolutely hated Marie Antoinette, and its actually really really unfair to her and how common thought views her now.

    • @seanmcloughlin5983
      @seanmcloughlin5983 3 роки тому +107

      @@kelseymedoff8472 Definitely, I didn’t mean to say she wasn’t intelligent, just not the vain cruel person history and media portrays her as, yeah I saw Extra Credits talk about the affair of the diamond necklace, she didn’t do anything wrong but was blamed for all of Frances problems because of her being a scary foreigner with mind control boobs.
      History has a serious problem of demonizing women as we see with our girl Cleopatra.

    • @MrX-hz2hn
      @MrX-hz2hn 3 роки тому +32

      @@seanmcloughlin5983 "Demonizing women"...? Please, your programming is showing.
      1. "History" has no problems or agendas. "Historians", on the other hand, do have agendas. Contemporaneous accounts tend to be more valued due to higher perceived accuracy, but they are the least likely to be objective and unbiased.
      2. Cleopatra was a big player going for all the marbles in an unforgiving game. If you believe for one second that she would shy away from using her mind control boobs to her advantage, you should not be allowed to play outside. The fact that she, by all accounts, managed to seduce not one but two married men who just so happen to be two of the most powerful men in the then known world (Ceaser and Anthony) and persuade them to aid her in attaining the throne and keeping it speaks not only to the power of said mind control boobs but also her skill and willingness to use them.
      3. Scapegoating, character assassination, black propaganda are tools as old as time. The victors get to pay for the "histories" to be written. Cleopatra was not demonized because she was a woman, she was demonized (by roman sources) because she lost. Elizebeth won and was "Gloriana". Catherine the "Great" won and was lionized. Victoria ruled a world-spanning Empire and named an age.

    • @heinoustentacles5719
      @heinoustentacles5719 3 роки тому +4

      Boy I love Mary Antwanet

  • @theemries4766
    @theemries4766 4 роки тому +1154

    Poor Cato... got the whole “That would be your sister” routing.

    • @Striker2054
      @Striker2054 4 роки тому +95

      Julius *to Cato* :Remember this moment next time I tell you to drop it.

    • @ironlynx9512
      @ironlynx9512 4 роки тому +79

      Caesar: Now listen up Cato. Or steamy love letters starring your half sister will be the SECOND worst thing to happen to you.

    • @hailghidorah2536
      @hailghidorah2536 4 роки тому +19

      @@ironlynx9512 The Cassius has already entered the base.

    • @starwarsnerd100
      @starwarsnerd100 4 роки тому +21

      “Indeed, and now Caesar is here to **** US.”

    • @hailghidorah2536
      @hailghidorah2536 4 роки тому +12

      @@starwarsnerd100 “YOU SEE WHAT HE HAS DONE TO POMPEY!”

  • @jove3403
    @jove3403 4 роки тому +2586

    new theory: the French revolution happened because everyone was jealous of Louis' massive baguette

    • @ultimatebishoujo29
      @ultimatebishoujo29 4 роки тому +49

      Lol

    • @artofthepossible7329
      @artofthepossible7329 4 роки тому +197

      Considering the stereotypes of French lovemaking and changing governments, I feel this has a good cultural basis.

    • @C.V317
      @C.V317 4 роки тому +211

      Some clarity: Louis’ baguette wasn’t big, it’s more like the crust was a bit too crispy. He had phimosis, which narrows the foreskin tightly. Because of that, an erection, which would normally pull the foreskin back, would cause immense pain and sometimes bleeding. The surgery to fix the issue was little more than an adult circumcision.

    • @epsilon-eleven
      @epsilon-eleven 4 роки тому +130

      @@C.V317 Sacre bleu, that's horrifying

    • @Fisinocean
      @Fisinocean 4 роки тому +77

      @@C.V317 thank you for the gross clarofication which we all *DO NOT* need

  • @pinkwings8036
    @pinkwings8036 4 роки тому +648

    Marie Antoinette waking at noon to hot chocolate before frolicking in lace, silk, and pearls through her romantic cottagecore garden is how I want to live my life.

    • @leeguo9443
      @leeguo9443 3 роки тому +26

      Historical speaking...their condition wasn't clean..

    • @samrevlej9331
      @samrevlej9331 3 роки тому +20

      No you don't. Because that money was made off the back of 95% of the population, huge debt, and also slavery.

    • @LordVader1094
      @LordVader1094 3 роки тому +19

      @@samrevlej9331 Speak for yourself lmao

    • @sleepingguard01
      @sleepingguard01 3 роки тому +11

      @@samrevlej9331 luxury always occurs at someone’s expense…

    • @glasscardproductions4736
      @glasscardproductions4736 3 роки тому +7

      ​@@samrevlej9331, you know as well as I do that anyone, including you & I, would gladly become the Monarch of an empire of their choice and engorge themselves in their new slave-gotten luxuries.

  • @eview.753
    @eview.753 4 роки тому +641

    Julius Caesar: *bangs a king*
    All of Rome: Silence, Bottom!

    • @jahajesper
      @jahajesper 4 роки тому +20

      @Saiyasha27 nope he found his daddy
      i am very sorry for that joke

    • @erikgardner4777
      @erikgardner4777 4 роки тому +13

      @Saiyasha27 so he was a power bottom

    • @morganrobinson8042
      @morganrobinson8042 4 роки тому +19

      @@erikgardner4777 He claims decent from Aphrodite, I'm guessing it's a family trait.

    • @thethirdsicily4802
      @thethirdsicily4802 4 роки тому +2

      @@jahajesper Mithridaddy?

    • @giboi03
      @giboi03 4 роки тому +11

      WHY CAN'T WE JUST CALL HIM A SWITCH-

  • @damiwayne8289
    @damiwayne8289 4 роки тому +1028

    Imagine being one of three thousand concuibines realizing that literally not one of you was good enough for him XD

    • @noytelinu
      @noytelinu 4 роки тому +40

      Well, could have been worse. Could have been a peasant

    • @robertmiller9735
      @robertmiller9735 4 роки тому +101

      I should think most of them would be relieved; it's unlikely many had chosen that career...

    • @rueluxprince6982
      @rueluxprince6982 4 роки тому +71

      I think they would've been fine. They get to live in luxury and look at pretty girls all day and pursue whatever hobby they want. That's the dream

    • @iie2850
      @iie2850 4 роки тому +52

      being a chinese concubine seems sick af. your whole job is to pull off bomb outfits and look good all the time while skillfully getting away with the occasional political assassination. i would trade a thousand office jobs for that.

    • @janaterbio8010
      @janaterbio8010 4 роки тому +23

      Ehhh... I'd say that despite of not receiving the Emperor's favor, concubines get to live a life of luxury.

  • @KianaWolf
    @KianaWolf 4 роки тому +1931

    "Anything is more interesting than this vapid bedroom mania."
    Me, an asexual: *solemn nod and sigh*

    • @FortunateSon-mo9zi
      @FortunateSon-mo9zi 4 роки тому +75

      Hey, as a straight person that is too scared of emotional damage to get a GF, I can relate with you. Just know that God loves you! :)

    • @lmbusiness5300
      @lmbusiness5300 4 роки тому +121

      I'm not even ace but I still get sick of people using sex as a substitute for. You know. An actual interesting plot.

    • @AnaxErik4ever
      @AnaxErik4ever 4 роки тому +50

      me, a demisexual: *gives grunt of sharing awkwardness and pain* *big sigh*

    • @amandak.5967
      @amandak.5967 3 роки тому +34

      Me, as a fellow ace: yup. I'd prefer dragons :)

    • @amandak.5967
      @amandak.5967 3 роки тому +18

      @sugar kooky Everything is better with cake XD

  • @PsychShrew
    @PsychShrew 4 роки тому +599

    Future historians researching the present won't be able to tell if that bit about dropkicking couples is a joke or not because Blue sounds as serious as he always does. Amazing presentation.

    • @logosgal
      @logosgal 4 роки тому +63

      Are you accusing him of being overly sarcastic??

    • @charlieterry8506
      @charlieterry8506 4 роки тому +22

      @@logosgal IT FINALLY HAPPENED!

    • @mindlessmusings1221
      @mindlessmusings1221 4 роки тому +13

      Do you not dropkick opposing couples on Valentine's days?

    • @TwistedIdiot02
      @TwistedIdiot02 4 роки тому +8

      @@mindlessmusings1221 No, that's what the bat is for.

    • @sarahcoleman5269
      @sarahcoleman5269 4 роки тому +5

      300 years from now: "The 21st Century Historian, Blue, put it best when..."

  • @rampagerslife
    @rampagerslife 4 роки тому +590

    "also discovered _gay_ first person poetry"
    me sipping coffee at that moment; * almost chokes *

  • @calamityjenn
    @calamityjenn 4 роки тому +863

    Louis XVI had neither "pee pee too big" nor "pee pee too small." He had a condition where skin was connected on his member in a way that made "standing at attention" painful. It was only after Marie Antoinette's big brother came and realized the situation that Louis allowed the surgery his doctors had been trying to convince him to undergo for years previously. Badda bing, badda boom, their first child, a daughter, was born the next year.

    • @unlucky_2nd897
      @unlucky_2nd897 3 роки тому +148

      He suffered from pee pee sweater too small

    • @jovindsouza3407
      @jovindsouza3407 3 роки тому +8

      @@unlucky_2nd897 😞

    • @esppupsnkits4560
      @esppupsnkits4560 3 роки тому +92

      @@unlucky_2nd897 i love that description for this, err, INTERESTING medical condition

    • @crackgoat9780
      @crackgoat9780 3 роки тому +167

      Dude got his pp sweater trimmed pre anesthesia. The only pain killer he would have had access to was booze and gritting his teeth. So he received big ouch time.

    • @squibble311
      @squibble311 3 роки тому +37

      why did you have to tell me this

  • @nicolefrench6326
    @nicolefrench6326 4 роки тому +1177

    caesar is a bottom and king louis had a package so big he couldnt hit. why did i need to know these things LMAOO

    • @achintyanaithani889
      @achintyanaithani889 4 роки тому +120

      We aren't sure about Caesar. Trusting his opponent's propaganda is like believing that Clinton really kept children caged in a pizza parlour.

    • @Valery0p5
      @Valery0p5 4 роки тому +47

      And maybe the queen of France was a bit too comfortable with her noblewomen "friends", her rivals said back then.

    • @Alias_Anybody
      @Alias_Anybody 4 роки тому +42

      Also, if i'm not mistaken, the issue with Luis wasn't strictly the size but also a pretty bad case of phimosis. Not nearly as funny.

    • @RockPokTaoFong
      @RockPokTaoFong 4 роки тому +13

      @@Alias_Anybody well for my own sanity I'm not googling thimrosis

    • @jakkaljakobie8774
      @jakkaljakobie8774 4 роки тому +7

      @@Alias_Anybody mind if I ask what phimrosis is? I do not want to Google that.

  • @me0101001000
    @me0101001000 4 роки тому +987

    "Okay to be gay, but only if you were the top"
    *bottom bullying intensifies*

    • @vedritmathias9193
      @vedritmathias9193 4 роки тому +102

      Careful...
      They might like it.

    • @me0101001000
      @me0101001000 3 роки тому +56

      @@vedritmathias9193 that's what I'm counting on 😁

    • @avaanime7292
      @avaanime7292 3 роки тому +10

      @@vedritmathias9193 😶

  • @forresttoyne8559
    @forresttoyne8559 4 роки тому +317

    "I am frankly shocked our disaster species was every allowed to make it this far" my new favorite osp quote

    • @BeeWhistler
      @BeeWhistler 4 роки тому +2

      A t-shirt of that would make bank.

    • @paigelego4027
      @paigelego4027 4 роки тому

      Merch! Merch! Merch! Merch! Merch!

  • @togu_mak245
    @togu_mak245 4 роки тому +430

    "Every woman's men, and every man's women" im gonna put that on my tinder bio

  • @abbycaldwell3166
    @abbycaldwell3166 4 роки тому +334

    This video is honestly so validating to my little aro/ace heart between Blue's realism rant and his declaraction that Louis XVI was a library ace.

  • @Rick586
    @Rick586 4 роки тому +680

    Blue: "Of those 3,000 concubines, the emperor only had eyes for one person..."
    Me: "Oh, that's nice!"
    Blue: *"... his son's wife."*
    Me: 0.0

    • @ultimatebishoujo29
      @ultimatebishoujo29 4 роки тому +17

      Yikes

    • @NoName-dx1no
      @NoName-dx1no 3 роки тому +15

      I mean she was one of the 4 great beauties of China not that it justifies anything but kinda explains it

    • @Rick586
      @Rick586 3 роки тому +19

      @@NoName-dx1no "The Emperor's wife is one of the most beautiful women ever" absolutely sounds like propaganda XD

    • @NoName-dx1no
      @NoName-dx1no 3 роки тому +12

      @@Rick586 that kinda does lmao, I mean that doesn’t stop the emperor from simpingfor her lol. Also I’d like to point out that she’s the most beautiful for that time period if she were in modern day China I doubt she’d be as complimented for being so beautiful because the beauty standards in China right now is having a skinny figure while in the Tang Dynasty it was being chubby and having some fat on you, so obviously the ones who are rich would be in the 4 greatest beauties list lol.

    • @shanedoesyoutube8001
      @shanedoesyoutube8001 3 роки тому +4

      @@NoName-dx1no tang dynasty beauty standard
      乇乂ㄒ尺卂 ㄒ卄丨匚匚

  • @InuandKagomeForever
    @InuandKagomeForever 4 роки тому +637

    'Let the poor library Ace live his life!'
    Mood, honestly

    • @emilybarclay8831
      @emilybarclay8831 4 роки тому +10

      God that’s me trying to write a dissertation in a pandemic

    • @me0101001000
      @me0101001000 4 роки тому +1

      @@emilybarclay8831 good luck on your dissertation!

    • @emilybarclay8831
      @emilybarclay8831 4 роки тому +1

      @@me0101001000 thanks :)

  • @winterspectre
    @winterspectre 4 роки тому +686

    "LET THIS POOR LIBRARY ACE LIVE HIS LIFE!"
    Why did you call me out like this ;-;

  • @johnyricco1220
    @johnyricco1220 4 роки тому +191

    The lesson from the capture of Louis XVI was don’t escape in a fancy carriage if you’re fleeing the country. 50 years later King Louis Philippe successfully escaped to England in a plain carriage.

    • @NouriaDiallo
      @NouriaDiallo 4 роки тому +25

      And don't stop to have a lavish meal at an inn because you're feeling hungry...

    • @meggoldnight
      @meggoldnight 4 роки тому +25

      @@NouriaDiallo Also don't pack a huge goddamn wine wrack and the crown jewels....seriously...

    • @matthewmuir8884
      @matthewmuir8884 4 роки тому +20

      @@NouriaDiallo And don't pay for the meal with a coin that *your own face* is printed on.

    • @thunderbird1921
      @thunderbird1921 4 роки тому +4

      How did Charles X avoid being killed? He might have been more hated than Louis Philippe became (LP had many of the deposed king's ministers thrown in prison also).

    • @matthewmuir8884
      @matthewmuir8884 4 роки тому +7

      @@thunderbird1921 Charles X probably used his telepathy to avoid his death, like he did in the third movie.

  • @nicolebee3283
    @nicolebee3283 4 роки тому +301

    I cheered when you said you’re doing a history maker on Sappho

  • @Dead-or-Alive1985
    @Dead-or-Alive1985 4 роки тому +531

    "Why can't you just let this poor library ace live his life??"
    MOOD

    • @Magali_theRecordKeeper
      @Magali_theRecordKeeper 4 роки тому +26

      Agreed. And as a librarian, I want that on a shirt (I'm demi, myself, but still it's on the spectrum)

    • @faithwright7958
      @faithwright7958 4 роки тому +4

      Not to be offensive, but what does asexuality have to do with libraries?

    • @Gibusnipu
      @Gibusnipu 3 роки тому +23

      @@faithwright7958 maybe they just happen to be a librarian, who happens to be asexual?

    • @SeraphimCramer
      @SeraphimCramer 3 роки тому +14

      @@faithwright7958 I don't know a ton about the asexual community, but I'm guessing "library ace" is a term for an introverted asexual who prefers books & studying over people.

    • @heinoustentacles5719
      @heinoustentacles5719 3 роки тому +3

      @@SeraphimCramer average introvert

  • @basementdwellercosplay
    @basementdwellercosplay 4 роки тому +813

    Romans gay love life sounds like an aggressive wrestling match both yelling "I'm a top"

  • @Grim_Sister
    @Grim_Sister 4 роки тому +170

    “Men of Rome, watch out for your wives! We’re bringing the bald adulterer home!”
    I wish I was half as sassy as the Romans

  • @DisneyFanatic2364
    @DisneyFanatic2364 3 роки тому +436

    "Why can't you just let this library ace live his life?"
    Me (an ace person): ...Oh shit.

  • @equinoxomega3600
    @equinoxomega3600 4 роки тому +227

    Minor nitpick: Austria didn't have a queen. Maria Theresa was arch-duchess of Austria in her own right (although she also held the titles of queen of Bohemia, Hungary, .... and lots of other titles), but she styled herself as Empress (of the Holy Roman Empire), because she got her husband Francis elected Holy Roman Emperor (since only a man could hold that title).

    • @ee8942
      @ee8942 4 роки тому +3

      Yes that was quite disappointing

    • @runningcommentary2125
      @runningcommentary2125 4 роки тому +4

      I think she was also technically 'King' of Hungary.

    • @ee8942
      @ee8942 4 роки тому +8

      @@runningcommentary2125 you're thinking of Jadwiga, 'King' of Poland- Maria Theresia was apostolic Queen Regnant of Hungary

    • @Alias_Anybody
      @Alias_Anybody 4 роки тому +5

      Yeah, calling her queen of Austria is weird, de jure she was arch-duchess and de facto everybody called her Empress, even her arch-nemesis Fritz the Great.

    • @1notdeadfred
      @1notdeadfred 4 роки тому +2

      @@runningcommentary2125 Would that be a political title situation like in the Enchanted Forest Chronicles, where King of the dragons is the name of the job and has nothing to do with gender?

  • @pearlexquisite935
    @pearlexquisite935 4 роки тому +386

    This really should be histories most cursed couples

    • @Dave_Sisson
      @Dave_Sisson 4 роки тому +10

      Ha, You haven't seen a properly cursed historic couple until you've seen Abelard and Heloise.

    • @FortunateSon-mo9zi
      @FortunateSon-mo9zi 4 роки тому +7

      @@Dave_Sisson For those not familiar with the story, well... Heloise's dad made Abelard do the snip snip.

  • @Emily-tv1iz
    @Emily-tv1iz 3 роки тому +168

    You know, if they had mentioned Marie's age when we learned about the French Revolution in history I can confidently say a lot of students would've had *very* different opinions about her.

    • @anna_in_aotearoa3166
      @anna_in_aotearoa3166 3 роки тому +39

      Agreed! Makes you feel even more sorry for these two... Louis was only 15 when they married I believe, an age where lots of guys are only just starting to get past the "ick girl cooties" stage! As for having a whole prurient gang of courtiers stalking your teenage love life & knowing that anything you do or don't do will a) impact the royal succession and b) affect how well your subjects think you're reigning... as Blue would say, *That's a yikes!* 😬

  • @Nimssssy
    @Nimssssy 4 роки тому +425

    blue's text rant about sex in historical realism made me, a history loving ace, very happy

    • @beatthegreat7020
      @beatthegreat7020 4 роки тому +40

      Not even ace, but I feel so validated by it.

    • @7emidio
      @7emidio 4 роки тому +3

      What is an "ace"? would google it, but I have a feeling that it would conflict with other more mainstream definitions of it

    • @Nimssssy
      @Nimssssy 4 роки тому +18

      @@7emidio short for asexual!!

    • @7emidio
      @7emidio 4 роки тому +8

      @@Nimssssy OH, NOW I GET IT. sorta, for I'm not one, but even I know sexuality often is, well distracting. Most get over because they enjoy it, but if one does not, all it remains is the discraction, and then being annoyed from it is only natural

    • @hailghidorah2536
      @hailghidorah2536 4 роки тому +2

      Time stamp?

  • @boxofstuff994
    @boxofstuff994 4 роки тому +568

    Isn't this channel just solely dedicated to explaining how our disaster of a species survived this long

    • @FirebladesSong
      @FirebladesSong 4 роки тому +46

      Explaining or just being very confused like the rest of us?

    • @boxofstuff994
      @boxofstuff994 4 роки тому +20

      @@FirebladesSong you have a point there

    • @Le_Codex
      @Le_Codex 4 роки тому +35

      @@FirebladesSong Overly Confused Productions

    • @7emidio
      @7emidio 4 роки тому +8

      Let's just hope that alien species found about us, but happen to be more inteligent, so they may actually know the answer, 'cause cleary we're too of a mess to understand ourselves, let alone save ourselves

    • @nyx8389
      @nyx8389 4 роки тому +5

      We're probably doomed, but yeah this channel just describes how we managed to make it this far.

  • @FeyPax
    @FeyPax 4 роки тому +138

    Cesar: I can ASSURE you, you do NOT want me to read you this letter.
    Cato: do it
    Ceasar: bet 😒

  • @juliakovacs4885
    @juliakovacs4885 4 роки тому +527

    Next Year: History's Most Murderous Couples

    • @drose6437
      @drose6437 4 роки тому +20

      Genghis khan and borte

    • @gamechanger8908
      @gamechanger8908 4 роки тому +18

      Remember how Borte was impregnated by her kidnappers yet Temujin kept the kid

    • @marisp2588
      @marisp2588 4 роки тому +4

      🙌 THIS 🙌

    • @Kartissa
      @Kartissa 4 роки тому +1

      Hasn't he already done a video in the Borgias?

    • @omnicupid6694
      @omnicupid6694 4 роки тому

      Yes

  • @jeannette3138
    @jeannette3138 4 роки тому +229

    At school, my teacher taught me Marie-Antoinette way-of-life bankrupted France to the point we did the Revolution ! I know I was a kid but come on ! I could have understand concept of war, crop failure, financial crisis and shitstorming about rich kids.
    Hope teachers nowaday don't say that anymore.

    • @KumaoftheForest
      @KumaoftheForest 4 роки тому +4

      Let them eat cake

    • @vinny9868
      @vinny9868 4 роки тому +54

      No way a single woman could bankrupt an entire country. That just sounds like excuses.

    • @gorrilazbro1330
      @gorrilazbro1330 4 роки тому +6

      I mean she did spend a fuck ton of the court budget

    • @jeannette3138
      @jeannette3138 4 роки тому +33

      @@gorrilazbro1330 yeah but historians did count and it was not more crazy than what our current poticians spent. France was already in financial crisis due to US war and the two precedent kings's government. Building Versaille left a huge National Debt bigger than Marie-Antoinette

    • @jeannette3138
      @jeannette3138 4 роки тому +4

      @@KumaoftheForest It's a BRIOCHE, petit margoulin ! 😁😂
      (This one is fake news btw)

  • @NoName-yl4pz
    @NoName-yl4pz 4 роки тому +246

    I read history for the plot, not the sex scenes
    -Ace history nerd

  • @scytale6256
    @scytale6256 4 роки тому +164

    Blue: "Did you ever hear the Tragedy of King Louis the Magnum Dong?"

    • @witheredbonnie9268
      @witheredbonnie9268 4 роки тому +23

      I wouldn’t blame you. It’s a story teachers don’t tell

    • @auroragamer1
      @auroragamer1 4 роки тому +5

      @@witheredbonnie9268 1. *It's not a story a teacher would tell you
      2. (continuing) It's an Overlysarcastic legend.

    • @matthewmuir8884
      @matthewmuir8884 4 роки тому +8

      @@witheredbonnie9268 Actually, my high school history teacher told the class about it; it wasn't that it was big, but that the foreskin was too stiff, causing immense pain and bleeding.

    • @Josh-zx3rc
      @Josh-zx3rc 3 роки тому

      @@matthewmuir8884 he should have said ouch pp deformed, also Jesus that sounds terrible

    • @matthewmuir8884
      @matthewmuir8884 3 роки тому +1

      @@Josh-zx3rc Yeah; though the good news for him was that it was easily fixable via a bit of surgery, and after he got the surgery, they started having kids.

  • @christopheredwards8219
    @christopheredwards8219 4 роки тому +279

    "The only one he had his eyes on was his son's wife."
    *"That's a yikes."*

  • @DianaDxD
    @DianaDxD 3 роки тому +97

    Finding out that Caesar was made fun of not because he was bisexual but because he was a bottom is honestly the best thing I've ever heard in my life🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @jonribeiro266
    @jonribeiro266 4 роки тому +235

    *Blue brings up tragedy*
    Me: Ten bucks says it's in France
    *Blue says it's Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette*
    Me: TWENTY bucks says he's bringing up his pp

    • @blackvial
      @blackvial 4 роки тому +19

      You should go to Los Vegas

    • @peterwindhorst5775
      @peterwindhorst5775 3 роки тому +1

      It could be worse - Nicholas II and Alexandria.

  • @jamesonbetts1832
    @jamesonbetts1832 4 роки тому +673

    The last time I was this early, Constantinople was being sacked by the venetians.

    • @Konstantinos1648
      @Konstantinos1648 4 роки тому +3

      If you mean 1204 then it was not the Venetians it was the crusaders to place a Byzantine prince on the throne because he promised money

    • @dylantennant6594
      @dylantennant6594 4 роки тому +4

      The last time I was this early the Persians were sailing up the Aegean.

    • @its_lb
      @its_lb 4 роки тому +6

      Last time I was this early, Blue was burning the library of Alexandria

    • @fullmetalalchemist9126
      @fullmetalalchemist9126 4 роки тому +1

      🤐😫🙈🙉🙊

    • @shrimpisdelicious
      @shrimpisdelicious 4 роки тому +1

      Too soon.

  • @matthewmuir8884
    @matthewmuir8884 4 роки тому +101

    One interesting and weird historical couple I once learned about was Edward the Black Prince and his wife: Joan of Kent. They grew up together and they got engaged without telling the king, but that's not even the most interesting part: while she was known as the most beautiful woman in England, the English Nobility didn't like that Edward married Joan for two reasons: her being an English Noblewoman meant they gained no French land from this, and Joan was a widow with a *very* bizarre marital past:
    When she was a teenager, she eloped with a knight (Thomas Holland) who later had to leave to fight in the Hundred Years War. While he was away, her parents, not knowing about the elopement, arranged her to marry this other guy that was after her family's wealth (they were the richest landowners in England outside the monarchy), and Joan had to keep her mouth shut out of fear that, if she revealed that she already had a husband while he was away on campaign, her family would essentially write a few letters and say, "Not anymore." Once Thomas returned to England, she immediately declared that he was her real husband. The matter was taken to the Church and the guy her parents had married Joan off to actually tried to have her held captive to keep her from testifying, but the Church ordered him to release her. Rather than rule in favour of the angry, wealthy and influential noble families, the Church ruled in favour of the happy couple and said that the elopement was a valid marriage so the second marriage was invalid and void. So Joan's 'second' marriage was annulled and she and Thomas were ordered to be married in the church.
    So... yeah; the happy couple got to stay together, and then Edward married her after Thomas died.

  • @jovindsouza3407
    @jovindsouza3407 4 роки тому +140

    Okay that incident with Caesar and the letter almost made me die laughing

    • @logion567
      @logion567 4 роки тому +12

      @Vice- Virgo "stab at it"
      Heh.

  • @Freekymoho
    @Freekymoho 4 роки тому +320

    It's funny that Blue thinks he's dunking on Caesar, when he's really just highlighting how much of a stud he was

  • @seneca983
    @seneca983 4 роки тому +206

    Fun fact: In Finland and Estonia Valentine's Day is called "Friend's Day".

    • @FortunateSon-mo9zi
      @FortunateSon-mo9zi 4 роки тому +33

      It would honestly be hilarious if the countries of Estonia and Finland married. Not even the people, just the countries. And when the priest says, "You may kiss the (insert gender here)," they just force some of the soil of the two countries together like a kiss. TBH I'd pay to see that.

    • @seneca983
      @seneca983 4 роки тому +38

      @@FortunateSon-mo9zi You just need to search for some Hetalia fanfic or fanart.

    • @crafty7angel
      @crafty7angel 3 роки тому +16

      @@seneca983 the fact that this was my first thought

    • @Grim_Sister
      @Grim_Sister 3 роки тому +3

      In Israel it’s “Love Day” or “Love Holiday”.
      “Lovers Holiday” if you wanna be extra fancy

    • @dewmilk17
      @dewmilk17 3 роки тому +6

      That’s actually adorable

  • @Maninawig
    @Maninawig 4 роки тому +303

    We need a "Parthia, the only thing Ceasar couldn't smash" shirt.
    And possibly a 3 legged Louis the 16th, but that might be going too far.

    • @robertlewis6915
      @robertlewis6915 4 роки тому +5

      Parthia*

    • @Maninawig
      @Maninawig 4 роки тому +2

      @@robertlewis6915 fixed it. Thanks.

    • @atheistsgod
      @atheistsgod 4 роки тому +1

      Three legged Louis the 16th camp chair. XD You're welcome. XD

    • @robertlewis6915
      @robertlewis6915 4 роки тому

      @@Maninawig You're welcome.
      Also, I just realized Caesar is misspelled.

    • @Maninawig
      @Maninawig 4 роки тому +1

      @@robertlewis6915 twas spelled phonetically lol. Thanks for the update.

  • @Mike-ij4rq
    @Mike-ij4rq 4 роки тому +153

    So Roman politics was basically the same as a middle school locker room

    • @ultimatebishoujo29
      @ultimatebishoujo29 4 роки тому +8

      lol ya pretty much

    • @anthonythompson6053
      @anthonythompson6053 4 роки тому +10

      Feels like hardly anything’s changed lol
      Except for fewer murders

    • @FortunateSon-mo9zi
      @FortunateSon-mo9zi 4 роки тому +2

      I'd agree with that, all the petty arguments and short-sighted decisions. God, it reminds me of the First Crusade.

    • @Mike-ij4rq
      @Mike-ij4rq 4 роки тому +1

      @@FortunateSon-mo9zi I guess not working together is just in European nature

    • @FortunateSon-mo9zi
      @FortunateSon-mo9zi 3 роки тому

      @@Mike-ij4rq I guess so...

  • @sriramramesh5318
    @sriramramesh5318 4 роки тому +85

    "How our disaster species survived this long" is a question I ask myself every day

  • @xaviersaavedra7442
    @xaviersaavedra7442 4 роки тому +251

    Me: happy “St.” Valentine’s Day
    Every one: oh you’re so romantic

    • @xaviersaavedra7442
      @xaviersaavedra7442 4 роки тому +5

      @cak01vej
      That’s the pure bruh moment.

    • @twoscarabsintheswarm9055
      @twoscarabsintheswarm9055 4 роки тому +1

      @cak01vej ok bro, please can people stop bringing up topics that don't need to be brought up?

    • @jordinagel1184
      @jordinagel1184 4 роки тому +2

      @cak01vej which of the many burnings is that?

    • @jordinagel1184
      @jordinagel1184 4 роки тому +3

      @cak01vej uhm... I was being facetious (you know, considering how many times the “eternal city” was sacked, plundered, or otherwise burned), no need to start of so hostile

  • @yotamravid3159
    @yotamravid3159 4 роки тому +101

    "The only thing Caeser couldn't smash was Parthia" Holy f*ck that's accurate

  • @Kilthan2050
    @Kilthan2050 4 роки тому +70

    "Cursed with forbidden knowledge"
    Some sort of deal with an eldritch horror? Nope, French Monarch Dong.

  • @R4yj4ck
    @R4yj4ck 4 роки тому +282

    “Ouch pp too big”
    The internet has lied to me.

  • @Jono997
    @Jono997 4 роки тому +144

    Cyan: "Hey, honey, are you okay?"
    Blue: "No."

    • @carlosroo5460
      @carlosroo5460 4 роки тому +2

      It's a good thing she has her, because otherwise he wouldn't be able to look at a cake again.

  • @aquamarinerose5405
    @aquamarinerose5405 4 роки тому +144

    Granted, people were obsessed with Louis' sex life because an heir to the throne means security for his line

    • @blackvial
      @blackvial 4 роки тому +6

      It seems some people don't know what a succession crisis is.

    • @aquamarinerose5405
      @aquamarinerose5405 4 роки тому +8

      @@blackvial oh, Blue knows VERY WELL what a succession crisis is.

    • @blackvial
      @blackvial 4 роки тому +1

      @@aquamarinerose5405 I was more talking about people in the comments

    • @dewmilk17
      @dewmilk17 3 роки тому +10

      Since locksmithing (I think that’s the term???) was Louis’ hobby people would gossip that the key was struggling to find the lock if you catch their drift.

  • @pearlyaa1102
    @pearlyaa1102 4 роки тому +182

    I love how blue mostly does the valentine’s specials cause we all know damn well red does ANYTHING to stay away from that romantic stuff

    • @Daphne1780
      @Daphne1780 4 роки тому +31

      And honestly i don't blame her, because same

    • @todddempsey1277
      @todddempsey1277 4 роки тому +20

      I’m aromantic but I’m still a sucker for this mushy romantic crap.

    • @odd-ysseusdoesstuff6347
      @odd-ysseusdoesstuff6347 4 роки тому +5

      Yes. The Night goddess must be protected!

    • @trishapellis
      @trishapellis 4 роки тому +23

      To be fair, there's already so much romantic/ couple-y stuff in myths and legends, and she even did a video on romance tropes in literature. Blue gets so little romance in his subject all he can do is gush about Venice.

    • @zainmudassir2964
      @zainmudassir2964 4 роки тому

      She should also chip in from her perspective

  • @noahlindgren1014
    @noahlindgren1014 4 роки тому +197

    If you’re not willing to spill blood for a reservation at an overly expensive restaurant, you aren’t doing Valentine’s Day right

    • @TheSpearkan
      @TheSpearkan 4 роки тому

      This 2021, almost nobody will be able to do Valentine's day right

    • @slydoorkeeper4783
      @slydoorkeeper4783 4 роки тому

      Haha, I just challenge people to ruin their date. Secured 4 reservations and only lost 1. And my gf doesn't even like the places. We already scheduled at the place. 😀

  • @lavenderotaku2481
    @lavenderotaku2481 4 роки тому +51

    I actually heard a different story from my Revolutions teacher about how Marie and Louis got caught:
    Allegedly, Louis wanted to stop at a local tavern while on the run with his family to get something to eat. And of course being the overly-sheltered and pampered royal that he was... he didn’t exactly blend in.
    Though the kicker comes when (again, according to my teacher) Louis payed for their meal with money THAT HAD HIS FACE STAMPED ON ONE SIDE.
    Like; bro that’s like if George Washington got resurrected and tried for pay for a soda with 3$ in quarters (for the Americans out there) and expected nobody to notice him casually walking around in a Wendy’s.
    I understand like, “How else were they supposed to pay??” But seriously you’d think he could have just sent the carriage driver or one of his lesser-known family members in to grab some take-out.

  • @blubistheword
    @blubistheword 4 роки тому +54

    "I'm frankly shocked that our disaster species was even allowed to make it this far"
    Mood

    • @ultimatebishoujo29
      @ultimatebishoujo29 4 роки тому +2

      Facts

    • @SingingSealRiana
      @SingingSealRiana 4 роки тому +1

      Me since I am 5 . . .

    • @stephenflint3640
      @stephenflint3640 3 роки тому +3

      Proof that sentience was a curse, not a gift. We're barely past the point where our primary concerns are whos bangable and who's food

  • @bowmanc.7439
    @bowmanc.7439 4 роки тому +96

    Fun trivia about Concubine Yang. Till this day, Lychee fruits are still sometimes known as “The smile of the concubine”. Because of the poem “A ride trailing red dust the concubine smiles, no one knows it’s the coming of lychee”. As in because she likes lychee so much, in order to make her smile, the emperor ordered DAILY lychee delivery directly from the south spanning hundreds if not over a thousand kilometre.
    Also, The poem of long sorrow isn’t set in the Han dynasty. It’s referencing the Han Wu emperor’s behaviour, saying how it parallels Xuanzong’s behaviour. It’s somewhat a type of metaphor? I’m not sure. Chinese poets like to use older historical figures to describe modern or less ancient people.

    • @peterwindhorst5775
      @peterwindhorst5775 3 роки тому +5

      Also it was a way to get it past the censors.... and the unfortunate questions of - "Did you just write this about my father or grandfather?" If a yes came - just say good bye to your friends, your family, your teachers, your students, and your life -> it is going not to be pleasant.

    • @bowmanc.7439
      @bowmanc.7439 3 роки тому +3

      @@peterwindhorst5775 slandering ruling monarch is never a good idea. Unless you are modern British

  • @zsheets7483
    @zsheets7483 3 роки тому +26

    What a great self-own.
    "I demand you read that letter aloud!"
    "You really don't want that."
    "No, I really *really* do."
    "Well... okay, then. Don't say I didn't warn you."

  • @juniperberryyyy
    @juniperberryyyy 4 роки тому +312

    "Culinary blood sport"
    That sounds like a far better valentine's day than buying over priced chocolate. Duel like animals to see who gets to bone

    • @Riggsradar69
      @Riggsradar69 4 роки тому +2

      Aye

    • @Riggsradar69
      @Riggsradar69 4 роки тому +6

      @Vice- Virgo sameeee
      Ugh i brought her the skull for her skull throne and she just got up and vomited
      Some people i tell you

    • @juniperberryyyy
      @juniperberryyyy 4 роки тому +5

      @@Riggsradar69
      She sounds basic. She doesn't deserve you.

    • @Riggsradar69
      @Riggsradar69 4 роки тому +2

      @@juniperberryyyy you know what
      Youre right i don't need her !
      If she cant handle a littl cranium then ahe is not for me

    • @juniperberryyyy
      @juniperberryyyy 4 роки тому +2

      @@Riggsradar69
      Is the cranium still available 😳👉👈

  • @GallowglassVT
    @GallowglassVT 4 роки тому +93

    I'm firmly on the "guillotine ever monarch we can find" side of history, but ngl, poor Louis and Marie. Less so the whole monarchy thing, but every one eyeing your intimacy like that is neither helpful nor healthy. Look to your own sex life, Pierre.

    • @Punaparta
      @Punaparta 4 роки тому +7

      >username has "Prince" in it
      Hmmm?

    • @GallowglassVT
      @GallowglassVT 4 роки тому

      @@Punaparta it's a long story involving an old English kids show.

    • @meggoldnight
      @meggoldnight 4 роки тому +6

      Oh if you read about her, you'll feel EVEN MORE sorry for Marie. I am a hardcore Marie Antoinette fan ((idk i have a connection to her)) she like tried so hard to make the marriage work and all she got was ABSOLUTELY BULLSHIT FROM EVERYONE INCLUDING HER MOTHER- jesus christ some of the stuff her mother wrote to her was horrid!

    • @emilycrow8278
      @emilycrow8278 4 роки тому +1

      Many monarchys were controlled by background influencers and generals, because 14 year olds, though holding the crown, can't seriously be expected to run a country. Unfortunately, everyone hated her from the start and she was constantly used as a scape goat, until she actually tried to assert her position, and then they hated her more, propagandizing her to the people, as an evil Austrian spy controlling a weak husband. I don't think the political officials expected just how angry the French people have been fron centuries of class oppression. They poured gasoline onto a bomb, and tossed Marie Antoinette at it like a match.

    • @meggoldnight
      @meggoldnight 4 роки тому +2

      @@emilycrow8278 AMEN! she was hated the minute she stepped onto French Soil, Louis the 15th's daughter's used her and said "hey hate the mistress" knowing it would fuck up her relationship with the king.
      I had someone I know call her "A horrible person" when I showed my tattoo of her, History has smeared her name so much in the mud that they don't know her true story and it really gets to me

  • @BioniclesaurKing4t2
    @BioniclesaurKing4t2 4 роки тому +44

    Blue out of context: "Anyway, as if the situation couldn't get worse-(crash!)-THEN THE FRENCH REVOLUTION HAPPENED!"

    • @squibble311
      @squibble311 3 роки тому +1

      NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!

  • @isaacverhelst3983
    @isaacverhelst3983 4 роки тому +15

    8:15 “if you or a loved one were harmed by the fireworks display you may be entitled to financial compensation”

  • @ekawaharafilms
    @ekawaharafilms 4 роки тому +76

    "Why can't you let this poor library ace live his life"
    sir, you just summarized my entire life

  • @IamshinyCM
    @IamshinyCM 4 роки тому +56

    How did Blue leave out that Caesar got called "The Queen of Bithynia" too lmfao

  • @HipFire1
    @HipFire1 4 роки тому +44

    who would watch an OSP video at 3am?
    me: oh boy 3am.
    edit: Yang would eventually return as a lovecraftian horror

  • @nohbuddy1
    @nohbuddy1 4 роки тому +21

    7:43 Fitting that Louis XVI and Antoinette are just floating heads

  • @everentropy
    @everentropy 4 роки тому +32

    I can just FEEL the pain in Blue's voice as he says PP Too Big

  • @Duchess_of_handalore
    @Duchess_of_handalore 4 роки тому +19

    9:48 as an asexual person, this is the most relatable thing I’ve ever seen on this channel. I feel very validated. thank you, blue. 👍

  • @legateelizabeth
    @legateelizabeth 4 роки тому +124

    Blue: Why is everything about the sex?! This is so dumb! I don't understand, stop it!
    Red: *sips coffee in asexual*

  • @coleyblossoms1051
    @coleyblossoms1051 4 роки тому +46

    This video is just "I'm so done with love" aromantic energy and I'm living for it.

    • @Darkkrebs
      @Darkkrebs 4 роки тому +9

      Ironic, given that he’s about to get married.

    • @freyja5800
      @freyja5800 4 роки тому +3

      as a demiro, yeah, miss me with that shit

    • @nikanika439
      @nikanika439 2 роки тому

      @@Darkkrebs he and his wife came out as ace a while ago ^^

    • @ThomasTheThermonuclearBomb
      @ThomasTheThermonuclearBomb Рік тому

      ​@@nikanika439But the comment said aro

  • @emmaeclifford
    @emmaeclifford 4 роки тому +48

    Thank you for letting Sappho have the episode she deserves let’s gooooo

  • @metallickandy
    @metallickandy 4 роки тому +89

    “That was dumb, but not untrue”
    Just about most things

  • @Dee-jp7ek
    @Dee-jp7ek 3 роки тому +11

    10:41 it looks like even Marie is rolling her eyes at them at this point
    "People still hated Marie Antoinette more"
    Marie: "figures" 🙄

  • @alexandracenuse8762
    @alexandracenuse8762 4 роки тому +47

    I'm so happy you acknowledged that the "let them eat cake!" phrase is misattributed!! Marie Antoinette is one of the historical figures I'm particularly passionate about

    • @fandemusique4693
      @fandemusique4693 4 роки тому +4

      For once he do not exagerrate about the Habsburg.

  • @joelkupiainen6759
    @joelkupiainen6759 4 роки тому +63

    Me: "omg, why is osp pandering to the shittiest holiday ever and almost two weeks before it actually has to happen?"
    one video later
    Me: "omg, the amount of misery and suffering in this video is exactly what I've always wanted for valentines day!"

  • @a.dykeman1980
    @a.dykeman1980 4 роки тому +19

    The phrase “subsidizing my suffering” is just... it’s so good, I need to use that in my life

  • @jonribeiro266
    @jonribeiro266 4 роки тому +51

    Every single person on the east coast just pumped the brakes on getting sleep for the next 10ish minutes