Moon Unit Zappa on her mother foregoing her father’s dying wishes
Вставка
- Опубліковано 5 лют 2025
- “It was a devastating blow that my father’s wishes were not upheld … It’s a lot to wrestle because it robbed me of the chance to grieve [her mother] at that time. When my siblings followed through on the mean wishes of our mean mother and not my father’s wishes for himself … it just didn’t make sense to me.” - Moon Unit Zappa
NEVER think you know someone until you try to share an inheritance . . .
Amen. Been there.
@@TheDriftwoodlover Ditto... Ironically its always those who have the most who steal the most.
Never know what goes on in someone's family.
@@JebusHypocristosXboy isn’t that the TRUTH!
No truer words were ever spoken!
My Mom did something similar when she left her entire estate to our adopted sister. To my and my other siblings' surprise, she shared the proceeds with all of us equally.
It was a blessing, and we are closer now than ever.
That indeed is a rarity
Selfless. Nice to know there is still good in the world.
Her parents messing up is one thing, but for her brother and sister not to correct it is quite another.
Agreed. That speaks volumes right there.
When money is involved, all bets are off
@@RJ1999x Shouldn't be, not in a family situation. If my mother died and left behind an arrangement like this the very first thing I would do is call the attorney's office and completely set things equal, because I love my brother and sister and I would not want them to feel bad about anything including a stupid Will. It could be that Gail thought the younger two had less earning ability than the older two, so she wrote the Will the way she did to make sure they were going to be okay, but in that case I would have all of us sit down and re-negotiate the trust so it benefits everyone equally, I would not let my brother and sister feel like they were less valued by my parents.
@@BillySBC I agree, but I've seen it many times, all the claws come out when money is involved
@@BillySBC My understanding is the opposite, that she thought Ahmet and Diva had more business sense so wanted them to run the estate. The other two are still beneficiaries so it's not as if they were cut off completely. I can entirely understand them being pissed off though. I would be.
Moon gave Frank his only Top 40 hit. Dweezil carries on Frank's musical legacy and promotes his catalogue. IF anyone should get the bigger share it should be those two.
Or they shouldnt need it as much. They also got more years with their father. Ahmed and Diva were still teens when they lost their dad.
Very true. Diva doesn't do shit with the music, creative in the music packaging or production, or anything and Ahmet is about the same. Sure, he helped with the Zappa movie, but he is all into his children's books more than the music. Moon and Dweezil should have had equal or more if it had to be out of balance. Gail screwed it all up.
You do know the album Apostrophe reached number 10 with no airplay, right?
Then find out how well live at the Fillmore did on the charts with no air play.
Apostrophe the album reached number 10 with no airplay. Live at the Fillmore east reached number 2 with no airplay.
@@bwana-ma-coo-bah425 I'm talking about hit singles. My point is Moon is deserving of more than she's getting and has actually contributed to Frank's music and success.
I hate interviewers who won’t stop talking and let the interviewee speak.
He lectures for over half of the "interview".
Washington Post, all you need to know: Always tone deaf pushing their narrative.
I also don't care for how he didn't practice what he was going to say, so that he ended up being really obnoxiously inarticulate as a consequence. People on NPR drive me crazy with their endless stream of "you knows" and "uh uh uhs"-if you know you're going to be on a radio program get your shit together!
@@scottwebster695 He did do a good job of setting up the situation for her answer, though.
@@fdsfsdfsd1552Washington Post Live, not NPR. If you are going to criticize it helps to be correct. I agree that he talks too much but this time it's not NPR.
Any decent sibling would make it right for the wronged sibling.
"Decent siblings" , being the key phrase there... 😐. I've seen it.
I would. I believe in being fair.
Mine didn't.
Pretty sad and Dweezil who was keeping his father's music alive was prohibited from using the Zappa name by his own siblings. This was just so petty.
It’s ridiculous. He is a Zappa and should be allowed to use his own name.
@@keriford54 That’s why George Foreman and Micheal Jackson named all of their kids after themselves- so they could freely use the name without legal hindrance.
@@verothomas1524Jackson did it out of ego. Just naming pets he bought. Foreman, Did it so his kids would stay honest because they all had to share the name.
Sounds like Teresa Earnhardt suing Kerry to stop him from using his name on a home improvement company him and his wife started.
Check out Zildjian and Sabian cymbals. Talk about not being able to use your family name.
Wow Moon, I’m so sorry this happened. I grew up with you and Dweezil. We went to Carpenter Ave School together in Studio City. Your Dad actually taught me how to play handball in his Daisy duke shorts and TYE dyed tshirts, he was so sweet and kind. Your Mom was always distant and removed and hard to know. I guess we now know why.
Big hugs to you and Dweezil 💖
It is hard to find out that your siblings are not the people you thought they were when you lose your parents. I think many people go through this.
I already know mine are horrible. I hope my sister figures out that she was abused by a borderline Narcissist. She wouldn’t believe me even after my mom dies, and I think it will be very difficult for her, because she was cast as the golden child.
A wedding or a funeral can fracture a family. Happened to mine. Took more than a decade to sort that out. Always sad to hear when it happens to others.
This was a bit of a set up, however. Most people would never be tested like this, and I can forgive them somewhat for having this rotting meat sandwich thrown at them unexpectedly
Hard one for the siblings, they don't know some are getting the cake while others get the sh*t sandwich, will or no will.
My uncle even stole my mom's guns after her death instead of giving them back to me. Now I'm a black sheep because my mom told me not to trust anyone in the family, sell everything and don't be sentimental.
Most all families fight bitterly over money with deception, manipulation and wrongdoing. I remember Moon shopping at Nature Mart where I worked when she was a teenager, pulling in in her jeep with friends, everyone laughing, shining bright & loving life. That young girl grew into a beautiful, amazing woman. I saw her light then and I see how much brighter it is now. Your contributions to your family were noticed by the most important eyes. Shine On. Nobody can dim your light. 😘
Wow. Either Frank Zappas wife was my moms twin or its more common than you think. After a lifetime of being the responsible kid, including handing over large sums of money, rearranging my life to be available, nursing in her later years, I get repaid by HER LEAVING HER ENTIRE ESTATE TO MY TWO STONER BROTHERS. A house, furnishings, car her business and two bank accounts. Within six months they were broke again. Thanks mom.
It is very common. The money is right there. Greedy reach for it and sometimes even if the parents don't have a favorite they want to support the ones not taking care of themselves.
It is more common than people think or assume. Much more common.
It’s very sad how frequently that happens.
I think it happens because the mom thinks some kids can take care of themselves and don't need it, but worry about the other kids and so leave the money to the less responsible ones. my mother in law is like this to the point I have to caution my wife to give her mom money because she will just give to my wife's brother who has no job. I get her to either buy whatever and have it delivered or pay the bill directly. otherwise, she gives him the money and the bill still doesn't get paid.
moms can be strange that way.
If you want to inherit- don't take care of them. Be as deadbeat as possible. The one who does all the lifting is going to lose because that person is going to get into some intense disagreements and outbursts, so the sibling who does nothing becomes the golden child. It obviously doesn't apply to all aging parents but it is a pattern, and cognitive decline may be a big factor.
Love when an interviewer just talks at someone and doesn’t let them speak
Right? Dude is WAY too self important and you could tell Moon was HIGHLY annoyed.
you are 100% right. I've been calling people out for the last couple years these aren't interviews these are lectures, where the interviewer is just so pompous and self-important. I get so tired of these individuals wanting to and trying to, show the world that they are the smartest person in the room. it's just so disingenuous. and as another commenter stated annoying
It’s HER story. Let her talk!
@@timprescott4634 He showed what a mansplaining piece of work he was when he talked down to her at the start.
@@timprescott4634 its a Wapo "journalist" and to be expected
Interview tip: if you're going to post a 4:20 interview, don't wait until 2:30 into it to let your subject speak.
I was just thinking that same thing
That guy gave me anxiety..I couldn't wait for him to just shut up!
I didn't need the background history.
Blame the video editor, not the interviewer. They’ve posted three short clips here on UA-cam. The longer 30-minute interview can be found on the Washington Post website.
All that and he left out the most important part: Frank said to sell everything and get out of the business. Gail did just the opposite.
It was nice of him to eventually stop talking and let her speak for a few seconds given that he was talking about her family the entire time.
He ruined the experience for the viewers--and for Moon as well.
Can’t believe it has been so long since her dad passed away. I’m so sorry she went through this. Is going through this. You never stop feeling this.
My mom and step-dad left everything to the 3 kids they had together, and nothing to the half siblibings who came before (there were 6 of us). And no, the half-siblings shared nothing with us. It really solidified my feelings of never belonging….
people will act out of self interest and also justify it ( "it's what they wanted " )
not always, but often
I understand. This happened to me too. My dad died without a will. Even though I was the one taking care of my dad when he was sick. I was left with nothing. I have no family keepsakes or anything from my father’s family to pass on to my son. My half sister and stepmother took everything and shared nothing with me. They did give some things to my youngest full blooded sister, but nothing to me. I was whispering in my dad’s ear how much I loved him as he was dying. He heard my voice during his last breath- that’s what I hold on to. No one can take that away from me.
@ I’m sorry for your loss and for being saddled with nincompoops for step family.
Why is this guy explaining to Moon Unit Zappa her own experience? Why not let her speak for herself. She was articulate enough to write a book. Let her speak.
I agree. really weird honestly
He was trying to summarize it for the audience listening.
@@BillStreeterIt’s scary as to how many are oblivious as to why he had to “set the table”.
@@Latour6182 What's scary is watching two luke warm IQs do group support for each other in a comment section. He could have asked articulate questions and let her fill in the information. Like most decent interviewers. If you're talking more than your guest you aren't an interviewer.
🐑wapo that’s why
I'm a Frank Zappa fan starting in 1973. I can't imagine how difficult and complicated the Zappa family dynamics were. My heart goes out to all the children...They were raised in a world very few people experience. The Zappa name and legacy are both a blessing and a burden. I hope they can find reconciliation.
💘
What a horrific betrayal. So very sorry!
What I got from all of this is to make sure you have your own life together in what ever you do and when these family f.ckups happen, you can just sit back and chuckle..yes money can turn people into a holes. No need to get involved.
Gail’s money 🤷🏻♂️
It's extremely common
She attempted to talk twice the guy wasn’t having it
He talked so long that he apologized for talking so long. And then he kept talking.
That got me too. But then I realised, he had to pitch the book at an audience who might never of heard of Frank Zappa or Moon Unit. She knew to be patient.
Dang Moon. We love you! Thank you for being and thanks for your pop!❤
Gag me with a spoon, Gail!
You and Dweezil were always the best. Hang in there Moon ❤️
This happens to so many of us. My sister was the culprit. Stole everything. So sorry, such a blow to this awesome woman. Love you!
Yeah, me too. sister stole everything. But in the end I'm grateful I'm not like her.
I’m going through the same thing with my sister
My brother in law did the same thing. We haven’t spoken in 25 years.
My brother, who I now have to help care for (Formerly he was an alcoholic; now has a rare cancer starting Nov 2023, he can't walk now, etc; we co-inherited a small house from our aunt.) He stole $40,000 from our Mom intended to be my inheritance from her. (So I got nothing, moneywise.) And he stole the $40,000 intended for our older brother. All so he and his family could continue to appear Upper Middle Class in an Upper Middle Class town after the 2008...Recession badly damaged his business, plus his business drained by his then alcoholism too. He's both a nice guy and an exasperating douchebag.
I'd rather have no inheritance than one obtained through deceit. Those things have a way of coming back to bite you.
It’s mind boggling that a parent would want to create a hurtful dynamic among their children by showing favoritism, or worse, by being intentionally cruel. And for what?
gail was a groupie, that's how they met....of course she turned out to make bizarre decisions
@@joejones9520 Gail met him while she was working as a secretary for someone I forget in LA, Gail knew he had a girlfriend and deliberately set out to "steal" him from her -- succeeded -- and then was surprised when he cheated on her (from memory from Moon's book)
I've always said to my parents that the two worst days of my life will be the day they pass and the day I have to deal with my sister and the splitting of their possessions.
Get stuff in writing , from your parents NOW!!! Trust me was screwed out of any of my parents house, money. My dads second wife, from another country. Inherited it all. Ask questions, get it in writing. My heart has been beaten down , by being emotionally abandoned. It’s been 8 years, will never visit his grave .
You won't visit your Dad's grave because you didn't get an inheritance ??? And you actually shared that with people looking for sympathy ??? You're damaged
@@theKrausman it’s a lot more involved than money. Was lied to my whole life. So don’t judge , unless you walked in mine. No not looking for sympathy.. so hopefully, you have a good family.
@@theKrausman yes damaged.. from so called family. Don’t give advice , until you walk in their shoes .
Agreed!!!!
I feel this. My late dad was a well known celebrity satirist and a friend & peer of Frank Zappa. I went to high school with Ahmet, who is a gem of a human. When my mom died, my dad married a crazy woman (his stalker) and she estranged my dad from his entire family and friends, and dug up my mother’s grave. Completely disowned my mother’s dying wishes. This is so sad, yet familiar. I loved Frank Zappa. Show business is so full of these stories, and I’ve sadly lived one of them. Love to Moon and all Zappa’s. -Donavan Freberg (Son of Stan).
I look forward to reading Moon’s book. Amazing how considerate, intelligent and rational she is, considering the environment she grew up in. Every time I hear of an inheritance situation like this, I’m thankful for my awesome family. My parents passed 15 years ago. Because the rest of us (7) were financially stable, they left the equity from their home (after expenses) to my youngest brother, who had always lived with them, and had somewhat tenuous employment in Retail, and we were all OK with that. Apparently we are as rare as Dodo birds. Who knew? 🤦🏻♀️🤯
America the Beautiful saved my life
i am Candy Zappa, Frank's sister and the kids aunt. i truly miss not talking with them and i see how beautiful they have become and i wish i could. its sad what happened but it's done and maybe we can reunite and mend . 🥰
Why are you estranged? Did the Zappa kids cut you out? Wishing you the best.
Your brother 'seemed to be' a VERY astute businessman - Even giving out advice to other musicians, etc - Shocking? *I saw MOInvention w/Sha Na Na opening
I loved your book, Candy. I'll continue to hope for reconciliation within your family.
Hi, candy down here from saint Catherine's Ontario, Canada.I hope you had a nice christmas.
I grew up with frank's music was pretty awesome.
I've always liked Moon a lot - esp how intelligent and insightful she turned out, given that upbringing
Ironically, this might have been the reason she got less from the estate than others - she was able to take care of herself and needed the help less.
Frank Zappa was a very intelligent informed man, way ahead of his time.
Frank was extremely intelligent. Look back on his interviews and debates with others.
@Soakinginit It is because of her father that she has some of that, did you ever listen to Frank talk? He was a genius!
I remembered her guest appearance of Curb Your Ethusiusm where she played a woman who Larry wants to fix Michael, the blind man on a date! season 4
No body can bleep you up like your mother. Conversely, a spectacular mothering mother is everything.
Strong mother love makes you strong for the difficulties of adulthood. No one will ever love me more than my mother did.
Hey “Interviewer” we’re here for The Moon…pas toi.
Could have asked a much simpler version of that question and let her speak more.
I hate to hear this happened to The Zappas. Sounds very unMom of their mother to inflict needless long lasting pain on her children.
Hope they can find a way to move on from their mothers mistake.
That was a laboured introduction. He would have been better allowing Moon Unit to provide the back story....
Okay. Moon got ripped off by her own kniving mother. Frank should have informed his kids what was in his will before he died, he knew he was dying and had time to settle things and ensure the successful transfer of his things. This often happens in disfunctional families. Blame Frank for not protecting his own children. But Frank and his wife mismanaged their money and estates anyway and were in debt when they died. This is the story of many dysfunctional families. She had a crappier child experience than everyone thought.
By all accounts, Frank was not a good manager of people. I'm thinking about the 1988 tour and how he canceled the last part of the tour, because a couple of his musicians couldn't get along.
Conniving, not kniving.
@@burningdaylights Kniving works too.
@@Okie-00-Spool I think that was on the musicians
@@Okie-00-Spool do you know the back story? and what would you have done?
"How can you be a genius and not have health insurance?" A very good and sadly very American question.
This happened to my dad too, way back in the 70s. I feel you Moon.
Others would ask how can the richest country in the world not have universal health care
@@morninboy Knock it off! This isn't a time to joke.
You completely missed the entire dartboard with your remark.
When *YOUR Biden took office,* he raised the Federal Minimum wage from $7.05 to $15.00 an hour through his executive order. This means that "even theater workers" received raises.
- Not too long after, several deep blue states followed suit with their minimum wage requirements. We have been close to two years now , for a few states, living under $15.00 minimum wage.
- California looked to punish Fast Food specifically by raising minimum wage, for fast food, to $20.00 an hour. Depending on what state someone was living in, their fast food experience may differ. Minimum wage in North Carolina, for example, is $7.25.
- You'll fakkkin' pay $15 for a bucket of theater movie popcorn to watch your "WOKE,"
(yet-to-be-released), Snow White?
Imma-gonna-slappa-you! Mama Mia
These situations make me glad I was an only child. I made the decisions for both of my parents during their final years, they planned ahead and both went over with me everything I would need and what to do when they both passed. I miss them both every day.
Only child too. Yup! I agree. No bickering or drama with siblings when my parents passed. I love and miss them very much🙏
You have no idea how lucky you were. Bless.
I’m 63. I was an only child also. My parents didn’t plan well for old age, sickness, and death. I spent 17 years, from 1992-2009, as a caregiver to them and my grandmother. But I’m still glad I didn’t have to haggle with any siblings concerning their care or estate.
@@rozchristopherson648 I commend you for that. Hope you are living your best life now.
I'm an only child. But my narcessistic mother always threatened to leave everything to my cousin. My cousin jumps through her hoops better than I do. 🤷♀️ That's fine by me- All my mother means by "everything" is an inflated 3rd mortgage, anyway- since she spent all my dad's money both before AND after he died. So yeah, my cousin can have the debt. It's crazy that she still thinks her debt is some kind of lure to me. I wouldn't put it past her to write me back into her will and leave me with her debt, just as a final act of f*ckery.
All I really want is my dad's art, but I won't hold my breath for that, either. She's already been giving it away to everyone but me.
My Mother did something similar. Trashed the family. Broke my heart for no reason.
families can sure be a hot mess. i'm sorry it turned out to be troubling for moon.
Gail mercilessly pursued guys like Ike Willis for playing Frank's music, which according to Ike is what he was told to do by Frank. "Play my music". Gail kept the music locked up like a prisoner hoping to milk it forever. Cruel.
The poor mom was incompetent and heartless.
I’m one of seven children in 11 years, first 4 were born in 36 months, 11 years between oldest - youngest. We buried our mother 22 years ago, and our Dad nearly 2 years ago. There was literally not a cross word spoken between us siblings, and our Dad left us a sizable inheritance to split 7 ways. Just saying, it can be done. We cherish the gift of our relationship as a family, along with 18 nieces and nephews, and 11 greats and counting❣️🙏
Four babies and 36 months what a drag
@@pineconepilgrimage Not something I would ever choose😲….especially having been the oldest girl in the first gang of 4, but I wouldn’t change the bond we have….
Unfortunately that is not always the case with greedy families. But I am so glad there are happy stories like yours.
@@labab1048
I've never heard of Irish Quads.
You guys, the first 4 of you born in 36 months are Irish Quads🤍
To cool🍀🍀🍀🍀
@@annahgibbus8 The 1st kid and the 4th are 3 yrs 6 days apart with my bro and I in between who are Irish twins for 16 days.
Half way through this interview and this man hasn't let this woman say one word.
My mother did the same thing. It isn't about the money, it's what the division of the money says about the mindset of the deceased person and who they (supposedly) valued. This is very hurtful and tears families apart. Parents should leave an equal amount to each child or just donate it to charity.
In the end, the siblings who were benefitting the most could've just put the kibosh on the unequal division and split things evenly to keep the family peace. I don't understand why they would hurt their siblings in this way.
@@momtrips6783yup! My mom gots some money and gave my 4 siblings 5 grand and I recieve 500 bucks. They all new this and I am a single mother. Sick peole. I did not even know about it but I was having an argument with her and she blurted it out to hurt my feelings.. and I did. I don't need the money but it sure would have helped.. people are evil and greedy.
Don’t covet.
@@verothomas1524 It's not about coveting, it's about being excluded and feeling less or even unloved by your own parent. Walk a mile in someone's moccasins before posting such an inane, baseless comment.
All this about family drama from 50 years ago about some guy who everybody talks about but NOBODY listens to. I mean really, Suzi Creamcheese?
It's such a blessing to have the siblings I do and the parents I had. We will and do for each other all year round. We can call each other at any time. Our mom passed in 2018, father is still living. We all love each other equally, and our parents loved us the same. Its really sad how some families do each other.
I can relate sadly … very much. Too long to tell but Thankyou I finally heard someone say exactly how I felt n feel when after caring for my mom till her passing my brother robbed myself and our younger brother. Betrayal n lack of real love is a hard reality especially in grief too. Thanks. Hugs to you n deeezil.
Half way through and the interviewer has not stopped talking
Moon is super cool! ❤ I can’t wait to read her book. ❤ Mean moms are the worst. ❤
So sorry to hear this! I heard a lot about Frank and his children, since my ex LOVED him and was definitely sad when he passed. He was a very creative soul. Moon needs to heal and see who she truly is, which is a soul having a human experience. There’s a lesson in every struggle and success we go through and we’re meant to grow from it. If she does the work to know her self and understand her circumstances, she will find peace and abundance in many ways.❤🌞
This is pretty much exactly what my mother did. It’s completely broken my heart and any trust or love for human beings is gone.
My mom gave my brother everything (all accounts and insurance). All I received was half the net proceeds from the house. Her lifelong preference for him over me continued beyond the grave.
gkennedy2998 I’m so sorry 😢
My mom created a trust leaving assets other than her house to my brother. She left the house to me. Only problem: She sold the house years ago and was living in a rented apartment. She was always all about the men in her life. When my brother needed a vehicle, she bought him a van. When I was just out of college (that I paid for myself with loans and scholarships), she made me pay the market rate to use her washing machines (I used my own soap). At that time, my apartment didn't have machines and there was not a nearby laundromat--I also did not have a car to get to a laundromat either. She has dementia and is in care now, so nothing is going to change. Families can really suck sometimes.
@@seahorse5689 Sounds like you mom was a Narcissist who labeled you the "scape goat" and your brother the "golden child". If you knew how stereotypical this is, you would laugh.
Wahhh….
@@AtomicDog-v2dagree. Greed follows death.
This is really sad. Frank Zappa had a great influence on my 4 brothers and I growing up in the 70's. His creative genius had a profound effect on us. I am very appreciative of Moon Unit sharing this very personal insight. I am sure this was difficult although very well spoken. It was good to know that Frank had the best intent for his family. It makes sense to me based how Frank influenced my thinking. I also have great appreciation for Dweezil keeping the the Zappa music alive. True to form. Very special thank you to Moon Unit and well wishes to the Zappa Family.
I have a narcissistic mother. She is still alive. She would do this and worse. My condolences to all her children. She used a method known as triangulation to divide and conquer. She wanted power over all her children by keeping them fighting.
My mom did that too!!
no one came here hear to hear about your mother, this is not all about you
I dated a narcissistic women for just a few months and it turned into a nightmare, feared for my own life at times. I couldn’t imagine living with one for YEARS
@@slowery43???
That's my mom, too.
Oh my... I'm so sorry you were treated so terribly by your mother and siblings. You and Dweezil are such integral parts of your father's music, and at least you have the knowledge that he had that will in place.
My sister and I were care givers to both parents ,
My brothers stole everything and told us we were no longer
Apart of the family unit .
Dad died without will ,one brother had helped him open bank account
And had been put down as emergency contact .
Urge all to make sure there is a will
Wishes of deceased mean nothing .
1. Brother now dead
1. brother health issues
1.brother is a psychopath
Karma will find you ,and when she does
It is sure to hurt far more than money
And possessions.
We are OK .
I'm reading her book now, it's fascinating and sad. Her father was a non-father basically, and her mom was a mentally disturbed megalomaniac.
A couple thoughts as a trust and estates attorney:
1. I know nothing about this case or the people involved, but sometimes a decedent's reasoning for certain decisions in his will or trust is not what the surviving descendants/beneficiaries infer from the will or trust terms. Sometimes, uneven distributions of the estate do manifest the testator's (will-maker's) preference for one child over another. But other times, the exact _opposite_ is true: the testator wants to leave more money to the child who disappointed him most, simply because that child needs the help more. I call this the _surgeon-addict problem:_ the testator is thinking, "I don't need to leave as much to Bobby, he's a success, I know he can take care of himself. But Timmy's a mess, he'll die in the state home if I don't help him, and I don't want to Bobby to have to spend his own money to take care of Timmy." Sometimes, the decedent thinks he's doing his kids a favor.
2. Further to #1, one of the things a good attorney should be doing is asking the testator annoying questions like, "Does Bobby know your thinking on this? No? Because here's how Bobby might interpret that arrangement - are you OK with that?" And sometimes they'll say, "no and I don't want to tell him, he may not understand" and you have to say, "well if he may not understand if you tell him now, it's very possible he won't understand after you've passed, either." Most of the real work in will creation is emotional - confronting death, confronting family dynamics - and sometimes clients just don't want to do that even when they know they have to. They are coming to you as a lawyer to solve a problem that is largely not a legal problem.
3. Also further to #1, this spendthrift "surgeon-spendthrift" problem is one of the reasons we sometimes end up doing family trusts for people who were not considering one. Because they realize they _don't_ want to give money to the family member least able to handle it. These trusts, however, generally involve discretionary distributions (or not distributing) assets by a trustee or group of trustees - and often some of these trustees are family members. And sometimes that's the bit clients don't want to deal with - "oh I don't want to put Judy in that position." And again, you have to ask them uncomfortable questions, but there comes a point where you just can't overwhelm them with What-Ifs anymore, they want what they want not because it's what you advise but because it's what they feel most comfortable (or least uncomfortable) with, and that's sometimes some version of "getting it done best I can and leaving it for them to work out amongst themselves."
4. Sometimes wills are written when relationships with one or more kids have soured a bit, but the will doesn't get revised when the relationship repairs. The now-outdated distribution is just forgotten - until the testator dies.
5. Good attorneys give clients a binder of copies of their documents and advise them to at least read the key provisions of it every year, but I am confident that not a lot of my clients do this. Ideally you are doing a new will every ten years or after every major life change, but this also rarely happens. Another thing I encourage testators (will-makers) and trust settlors to do is write a legacy letter separate and apart from the will and/or trust to explain their thinking and their priorities, and keep that letter updated at least as often as the will is updated. (This letter is not part of the will or trust itself and not filed with any court.)
6. Some of the things that were said in this clip, esp. about fiduciaries not telling beneficiaries the truth about certain things, set off alarm bells with me. But I withhold any opinion about them because lay people do not always use terms or art and action verbs with the same precision that an attorney would in the same situation. But if this woman were my client I would certainly be asking more questions about what went on (and didn't go on) with this estate and/or trust.
It's a shame that the majority of people whobrread this still cannot grasp its meaning...
The Washington Post article provides a more balanced take.
You are a rare breed, I think. I've had several wills done over time and with different lawyers and no one was this thorough or getting into the emotional aspects. Thank you for sharing your experience and for doing what you do.
Wow very thorough!! Thank you for sharing ! ❤
Thank you for taking the time to explains things. ❤
I work in healthcare and at the end of someone’s life, I’ve just seen the most disgusting behavior by family members regarding finances. I’ve been doing this for 30 years and people never surprise me anymore. I’m sorry that Moon had to go through this. What a betrayal and letdown for
a daughter to endure.
That is truly a “ mom fail”. Perhaps she felt some kids were more well off than others? What an articulate young lady. It’s about fairness and respect. At least she got to know what her dad’s final wishes were. The best gift we can leave is to have nothing left unsaid. Don’t take life for granted or assume your parents will live forever. Ask questions, or you’ll never know. Find peace and love and closure.
She was a space cadet.
Young lady? Not an appropriate description. She's not 17. She's closer to 60. As an adult female that pisses me off and would negate anything nice said. It's infantalizing. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm sharing so you hopefully don't do this to someone in real life.
I wonder why she even bothered giving them 20%? Why not make the insult complete and leave them out altogether?
@@PS-qn4oz The way I heard it was that she left the controlling interest to the siblings who'd been most involved in running the business. So that it wasn't intended as an insult so much as a considered decision about how best to preserve the legacy. Obviously Moon and Dweezil disagree, as anyone likely would, but we're only hearing one side of the story here.
@@losttangoMoon and Dweezle contributed to the actual creation of the music! They shared their dad's creative interests.
The only reason the other two were allowed by Gail to contribute to the business is bc they did Gail's bidding. They shared Gail's greedy interests.
It's to bad. Moon and Dwezzil are the two with talent. But don't let the past haunt you guys - cut your own path, you got this!
My sympathy for Moon and Dweezil, as well as Frank. I feel a bit sorry for all of the kids, frankly. Millions of dollars were wasted that could have gone to the kids and grandkids. Gail seemed to have contempt for her family. Sad.
Let me just say upfront. I am a huge Frank Zappa fan. And what Gail did was destroy not only the family, but destroyed the legacy Frank left behind. Did she do that because of Franks transgressions though? Was this her ultimate payback?
I set up a trust to protect my mother.My sister is a horrible mess.My sister got my mother to break the trust,got a lawyer.I spent well over a hundred thousand to help my mother.Paid her taxes,paid off her house etc.Bottom line my sister took EVERYTHING.There is more to the story that is too much to go into…..I just have one word KARMA!!!!
My sister too!!!
I'm the oldest of 4 and my younger brother and his new wife have already dug themselves in and become the first names on our parents will. I simply dgaf and hate money and all that it entails but it still makes me sad that his and his wifes main goals are ingratiating themselves for future profit .
It's %&@;$$; gross and a big reason why I've cut off all contact. I'd rather die poor and content than to be burdened with "stuff" that people in my own family would resent me for having.
"The only way to win is not to play."
My little brother hasn't done shit for our mother his whole life. Now that she's getting sick all the sudden.He shows up all the time. Let them have it.They'll use it to ruin their life.
Not a sole cares cupcake, this has nothing to do with this video and nobody wants to hear about how aawesome you think you supposed are.
Don't believe in karma
I’m close in age to Dweezil & Moon and was actually a fan of theirs as much as their dad. I feel for them considering I too was robbed of my father’s final wishes by a dishonest family member which led to a costly legal battle, so sadly I can relate to Moon’s situation in my own way.
we really don't care, no one came here hoping to find out about you
@@slowery43 I see 28 thumbs up that say otherwise and you failed miserably at hurting my feelings. Speaking of misery, I sincerely wish you the best in resolving whatever your damage is. Life is really better lived without the h8.
@@slowery43 Speak for yourself. You clearly don't understand the concept of empathy.
This is so sad. Frank was so friggin brilliant , and he died way too young. Moon is such a sweetheart. What kind of person does this to family?
I don’t know if I could ever forgive my mother or my two siblings who acted like such vile creatures, in such a way.
Unforgiveness keeps them in power. Forgiveness is freedom for the wounded.
@@amersklain4706 not true. You can choose not to forgive someone and still move on with your life. Some things are truly unforgivable. We need to stop pushing the forgiveness component to victims.
@@anitavirginillo No, you can’t. Unforgiveness leaves you with a gnawing within you. Stop pretending that people can live happily with hurt and bitterness. They can’t. You’re lying to yourself.
@amersklain4706 by not forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to be hurt and bitter, you accept what happened and move on with your life.
From experience , you forgive , but you never forget how they hurt you. I used to remind my mother she had 5 children, not 1……..but it never sunk in. GOD gave me the the grace to let my anger go during the years I was one of her unpaid, under appreciated caregivers but upon her death it all came flooding back. It took many, many years. I have finally come to peace with losing my home. It was never about the house or money but the home that I was abruptly cut out of. It hurts to know someone you love can inflict such pain on you. The few loving memories I had have been crushed down so deep I struggle to find them. All I clearly remember is the rejection. It’s hard to be hurt, I pray I never hurt anyone as deeply as I’ve been hurt. Let there be a legacy of love and kindness not controlling greed. Thank you Jesus for healing my heart, we’re still working on the mind.🙏🏻🥰
Thank you Moon for sharing. It is beyond me how people behave the way they do, especially where money and love are involved.
Go live your happiest life honey.
Let it Go. Xxxoo
This Guy just likes to hear himself speak. Later on!
He’s full of blah blah 😑
He's a BORE! Nobody cares what he thinks of HER life. We want to hear her experience as she lived it!
My wife & l are coming up to just on 14yrs as volunteers for looking after people with terminal illness that wish to spend their final time at home, what we have seen with family members & so-called friends acting like vultures at the end of life is a terrible thing to see & happens far too regularly.
It's unfortunate that the situation happened. Family dynamics sometimes bend, twist and contort facts. All you can do is find your peace within yourself, because ultimately that's what left.
How fun to see you!!
We Elders all remember the day you were born and were named!!
Great to see you!! Thank you!!!
this is not an interview it is a monologue
I don’t even know why he even bothered asking Moon since he spent most of the video answering his own question. Self absorbed much …
I know eh! This guy sucks as an interviewer
Families are hard. Throw family business into it, even that much harder.
I like the part where the interviewer finally let Moon speak.
Why am I watching this guy telling Moon the story of her life?
Because he is telling what happened to the audience of the video.
Because he's not a good interviewer. He could have asked questions to get her to tell the back story in a succinct way. Comes off unprepared.
It's from a long interview, just a short excerpt, this part he is condensing from her book to ASK her about that situation.
I'm so sorry this has happened to Moon's family...
One thing about having someone hurt you is that you can now have empathy for others hurt like this as well and to help others through hard times.
Maybe her parents problems financially was rooted in her mother's belief system. Sounds like she hid her dad's will on purpose.
So difficult when a Mother is not Motherly. Hurts deeply.
The Zappa n were raised in a very non-conventional "home". They were exposed to things at a very early age that I personally think inappropriate, even damaging. And their mother was a very difficult woman throughout.
I feel like Moon Unit is currently my ultimate silver fox. Also, that bassline for "Valley Girl" is still sick
This "interviewer" isn't letting her speak until the "interview" is more than half over. It's very sad, but not unusual that the settlements of estates causes permanent alienation between family members. I'm very sorry for her and Dweezil. They lost their family due to having a famous father whose will wasn't revealed or respected.
The pitting of the kids against each other must've started long before mama zappa died.
You’ll find out a lot about someone’s character when there’s an estate to be divided up.
When she called her mother "Gail" instead of "My mom" you can feel the strain
They've always called their parents by their first names.
Moon was always dads girl. She inherited the talent.
Dweezil’s pretty talented too.
Dweezil has the talent
Minimum talent for the lot of them
Like OMG
?
So sorry to Moon and Dweezle. Some mothers are mean, its an illness. I have one like that, too. But they can never steal our Light. Thank you for sharing your painful experience.
My mother asked me to help fund a home and I did - when my father got sick I took all my vacation time to help her - would go down spend all my time helping with things around the house to fly back late and work the next day.
When she died I found out she created a trust with my brother and sister that gave me nothing
They cremated something she said was afraid of
What a monster. Why do you think she would do that to you?
I wonder if they changed the trust to exclude you or told her they would give you your share (but legally they don't have to)
@@LTPottenger I wish - she knew they were about themselves - she just never realized they would turn on - she found out the hard way
@@Starfish2145 realized she was a narcissist - she had only ever seen me as an extension of herself - so whatever was good for her was good for me - she never cared enough about me to want was best for me. I am in my 50 they never spoke about narcissist like they do now and if you questioned you were being a terrible child
@@RonniesRambles thank you - hope you have a wonderful family that loves and appreciates you
Yes I am going through a somewhat similar situation now, my father passed a year and a half ago and his will is being hidden by core family and relatives.. Really takes the pain of losing relatives to another state of unecessary stress and dragging out other issues.. I have been persuing legal help since last Sept-October.. Truly shocking...
Just know that, you can wish and intend all you want. When you’re dead, it’s out of your hands. All bets are off. If you want something to happen, do it when you’re alive. Sign over property, give away items, money, whatever you can because trusting it to another relative is iffy at best. If you’re the one who gets left out, drop it and move on. These people aren’t your friends and you will be happier and better off cutting them off.
Poor woman... She's had a tough trot.
I've seen her brother Dweezil's band live and I'm thrilled that he is continuing to promote Frank's legacy for us all to enjoy.
Looks like the two creative kids have been railroaded...
Why interview someone if you don't allow them to speak until you've almost run out of time?
My therapist said to me: the difference between a good parent from a bad parent, is that a good parent knows when they’ve made a mistake, bad one doesn’t care.
Usually, when you interview someone you let them talk.
This breaks my heart. My brother and I have spoken about this so many times. There will be no fighting, it gets split 50/50, no matter what. We grew up together, we helped raise each other and we will protect each other. I don't understand how you can't care about your own siblings unless they have done something completely unspeakable. Even then, I think I would still visit my brother in jail.
What happened is terrible. I assume jealousy was behind it.
Oh I’m sorry Moon… my mother was that way. Sending you so much love and light 🌟💫⭐️
Hey, he finally let her talk. Good for him.
Welcome to my world! My family is the same. I was there for both my mom and dad more than my siblings. My dad passed first then when my mom passed, 2/3 of what was left in the money went to my older sister and she rarely was around for either of my parents. Non of my siblings talk to each other now. I feel I’m the only one left in my family because they are nonexistent.
Know the feeling . My Stepmother never earned a dime of her own in her life. moved in took over finances and when Dad died. She changed the will and left everything my Father worked for to her children. This happens all the time.
He didn't even know when her father died, she had to mention it. Just cause someone has a journalism degree doesn't make them eligible to automatically know what they are talking about. I hate interviewers who you can clearly tell did Wikipedia research about the subject the night before the interview. Imagine someone interviewing Moon about all this who actually digs and knows her dad's work and legacy.
What a shock...a mother lying to, and stealing from, her children after the father dies. This has GOT to be the first time this has happened
Greetings Moon, if you happen to see this... After my mother's passing..many painful memories surfaced and it's taken time to let go. My mom was elderly and on a few medications which I now know changed her (ex: Gabapentin)..she did things that she wouldn't have done, and explicitly stated she wouldn't do. she did anyway. That was putting some offspring ahead of others. I believe pain, ill health, meds, all contributed to her final decisions. I choose forgiveness, hope you will too. “Forgiveness is setting the prisoner free, only to find out that the prisoner was me.”
-Corrie ten Boom
I am not Moon, but if you read her book, you will see that her mother was always like this her whole life.
What a bunch of freaks!!! I thought Zappa's names for his kids were pretty funny: Moon-unit, Ahmet-Rodan, and Dweezil. I didn't realize his widow was such an evil creature. At least Moon seems like she has her head screwed on straight.
That's just sad. I'm a Zappa fan for over 30 years now. Always thought, Gail is following his wishes and treating his legacy with respect.
Well, a good woman is hard to find. Even for a legend like Frank. Hope his kids will recover from this.
Greetings from Germany 💝