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Why Does Gregor Hold on to ideals So MUCH?🤔 Even if he is not a beetle, one day he will one day wouldn't be able to Work, like if accident that take away lambs, LEGS. After all, " NEVER Ask World For acknowledgement; Weak Never get it Strong Never needED it."
The best thing I've learned in life is not to care about what people think, not to really connect yourself to others. Because all. will turn on you and abandon you when they cannot have their way with you. people seek to control and use each other. There are no such things as friendships or relationships Genuine relationships that are not predatory are very rare. I can never really afford to get close to no one, because when you do something that they don't like, or when you disagree with them, they will turn against you I'm not going to try to fulfill the role that society gives me. I'll fulfill my own role and I'll live my life on my own terms and I don't care how anybody feels or when anybody thinks about it
My favourite author, so looking forward to this. I must say, straight away, that I disagree that fear must be transformed into anger, if it's to be any use, in a fight. I doubt Freud knew much about fighting, but fear is often your greatest motivator, in a fight. If you get angry you'll likely lose. That's not to say that expressing anger can't be effective in scaring off your opponent.
Bingo. And that's why the title is completely wrong. Alot of "good" people are merely polite/"nice". Goodness has little correlation to politeness. Some of the most thoroughly good people I've met have been pretty rough characters, they cuss, drink, fight, and womanize, but if you're ever in a burning building they would smash right through windows with bare hands and knowingly risk their own firing from their job and a painful death to save you.
Yeah,and family, family is really complex and can as supportive as destructive and abusive. Henge the saying " you cant choose your family, only your chosen family. Polite isnt good. I think someone took it right that way too often when in need,people show their aligience more honest. ( unless you are an abuser thats enjoying abusing helpless under their care, but, thsts specific, god that people are horrific) But else its closer.
Blackpill is nothing new as we can see. Politeness isn't bad, don't cope and make excuses for rude people and yourself. Being polite takes effort and shows a willingness to suppress your own ideals in the moment or in certain settings. Not screaming and spitting at your abusive father who kicked puppies at his funeral would be politeness. Some people abuse politeness or use it as a mask. Being rude is laziness and makes situations confusing is inherently bad. It makes it even more confusing when you happen to do good. You want to be both. The alternatives are inconsistent and that's almost always a source of problems.
@@tetrabromobisphenol Thank you! I was so confused about how he could think that the title relates to the story at all, because it really, really doesn't.
Kafka wrote a 50 page letter to his father about how poorly his father had treated him. You can't really understand Kafka or Metamorphosis, without understanding that he was raised by people who never loved him.
I love his letters (particularly his later ones to Milena Jesenka) it certainly influenced my interpretation here. I just don’t like to turn these videos in biographies, or they’ll be 3 times as long
@@wearslim This is a very simplistic and lazy way of seeing things. Does it mean that you have to know all of Kafka's life and writings to be able to understand anything about the book, or take any valuable lesson from it? Absolutely not. Does it mean that knowing more of his life and perspective can lead you to a more accurate interpretation of the author's intentions and ideas behind the book, however? The answer is yes. You don't "have to do your work" to enjoy the book, as in life, you don't necesseraly have to know a person's whole life and history to appreciate them and feel inspired by them. But that's just common sense: the more you know about someone/something, the better you can understand them/it and the more intense it gets for you to interact with this person/object.
@@ww_artemis the beginning was really promising but the story is poorly developed and the writing style passable. No wonder why kids don't read nowadays. Teachers sharing shitty books. I'm really shocked by the ratings on Amazon, on Goodreads it's different. Classics are always like this. Maybe you've one to change my mind ? Thank you for your comment. I can obviously agree on some parts. And above all, I was bored all the way...
@@wearslim I don't think that's the MAIN reason why "kids don't read nowadays" though, but I agree the style can feel a bit boring for some people. I mainly read French stuff (since I'm French) and I rarely read "classics", I tend to stick to essays and novels, so I couldn't really recommend you any so called classics.
One of the most depressing things about the book is the fact that if it were to be that something like that would happen to you or something that is seen as "negative", your family and closest friends have the possibility of shunning you away just because you are the root of their fear, therefore rejoice if you are gone. Not all families or friends are this way, however, emotionally inmature families and friends would do this.
I think anyone who has suffered from illness and disability, especially when it happens “over night”, can understand what this story is about. The way you are treated when you’re no longer the person of perceived value you once were.
As someone who has experienced disabling major depressive episodes, this story made me so thankful for my family who supported and cared for me. I cried several times throughout the story because of the painful relatability of Gregor's emotions and thoughts. The ending made me mad at his family haha
Bro every time I get sick and have three days off from work I rather continue working then hearing people tell me how useless I am or how easy I’m supposedly faking it.
I was the main driver for my siblings and cousins taking them where they need and want to go without hesitation, even when gas was low and I was losing sleep. Being a student in after school and work the most of my money went to gas and help for their snacks + toys you name it. I would have done it all over again, and probably would, but my perspective changed after I broke both arms and couldn’t be of service. Only then was I more of a shadow and realized the whole time that was the reality. I don’t blame them for using what they could to meet their needs/wants or myself for always saying yes but it really slapped me awake.
Exactly. It’s nearly scary listening to this book bc of the parallels it has to life as a disabled person. Just yesterday my 6 year old brother said we shouldn’t share drinks so he wouldn’t “catch” my disability. It was heartbreaking.
I went through this after a breakup. Had my identity and sense of purpose taken away. Family and friends went quiet. Feelings of shame and abandonment. One day though, you wake up as a human again.
@@cosmicman621 Whether you are yourself dreaming that you are a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming that it is a person, live as best as you are able to.
I read „Die Verwandlung“ (Metamorphosis) when I was in a madhouse. It described exactly what was going on in my life at that time. Family members were turning away from me because I no longer was who I used to be. (Sorry for my bad english, I'm german)
@@thehazyblobspeaking English in a way that most accurately conforms to the formal academic rules, and speaking English in a way that is most effective and communicative are not necessarily the same thing.
What stood out to me was that, while both sides lamented the lack of communication between them, neither side makes any serious effort to communicate. They just resign themselves to the idea that they cannot be understood. There is this sense that, deep down, they *want* to believe this, because their negative emotions (fear and shame) are what is *actually* preventing them from understanding each other.
Then they need not to communicate. Natural and healthy communication happens almost effortlessly and is easy. If there is a difficulty and confusion, such communication should be stopped completely.
@@JustChill-zd4ib why? I don't understand your position. Sometimes it does take effort to communicate, and not just because the channel of communication is inappropriate. It can be either because you have to work on yourself to overcome your own biases or because the situation that the other person is in is entirely unfamiliar to you. Or both, as in this case. Sadly, no one rose to the challenge.
@@ammonquitalig9077 Why wouldn't they? They are not immune to making bad choices or mistakes that bring regret and shame. True, with enough humility they might lack the shame brought from their shortcomings, but that is only one possible source. Besides, prideful and humble is a scale, you can still feel proud about some things while being mostly humble in general, which would still classify you as humble when dealing in absolutes.
@@adisca2k It means we feel shame because of our ego. For instance you only care about being bad at something if you actually want to be good at it, or at least think you should be good at it.
@@Asa-b9hw I know that is the message he was going for, but the quote is formulated in a wierd way. Why would pride be considered the opposite of shame when they both have their own separate opposites? Arrogance would be a better fit, which yes includes some pride, but it also includes ignorance which offers some protection against shame, hence an opposite of sorts. Though arrogance itself is not a source of shame, it is indeed only the pride component of it. And the second part makes it sound like pride is the only source of shame, but that could be only my misinterpretation. After all, it sounds more powerful using 'the' instead of 'a' (source).
When I was reading Metamorphosis it was as clear as day that metamorphosis is a metaphor for someone suddenly becoming disabled, whether physically or mentally. Every disabled person knows what it's like to "become a burden" and start seeing resentment in the family's eyes. The same thing can be said about rapidly ageing family members
Yeah, it’s a really on the nose analogy for disability/chronic illness and the ableism people experience and it’s kinda weird that so few analyses of the book talk about that
@@EmergingEchoidk bruh my family is too broken whatever I try to connect all the relationships it won't work ,they hate me each and everyone now I should not care about them I'm tired
Yes, it was glaringly obvious that it was a metaphor for disability and the painful truth that your ability or inability to do what you once did makes those you love see you differently and as a burden
This sheds light on the ever present feeling of why it's so hard to truly trust anyone. Even when people treat you nicely, there's this underlying tone of it being very conditional (at least by the majority). And therefore, how much is this love worth...
In a way, it's always conditional, it's really hard to find someone truly "good" who can put everyone up no matter what. And that's ok, we are not robots, each individual have it's own needs and wishes, but I feel that people should be more clear on what conditions they want, and not burn bridges in relationships, but try to have a mutual betterment.
Why wouldn't it be conditional. what about you is so fundamentally and transcendently great that you deserve to be valued just for existing? Who promised you that this would be the case?
@@Laotzu.Goldbug If I'm treated nicely and, by comparison, see that someone else wasn't while we did exactly the same thing, it makes my stomach sink.. I don't want that kind of love, it's worthless :)
Yep! You can be best friend with someone, then you show even a tiny hint of having different political believe, and suddenly the other person act like you just killed their family. Happen mostly with the so called "progressive" people, even though it used to be the conservatives who do this exclusively.
Also, I feel like Kafka tries to tell us that humans aren't any different from any other creatures; as believed by religious people that humans are exceptional i.e. anthropocenal. Rather, we are just 'cockroaches who developed intellect'. Kafka argues that its only our human bodies that make us human, and not our souls. When Gregor loses his body, he is never treated like a human despite his 'soul' being fully intact.
Perhaps a more sensible conclusion for Kafka to reach would be the perception of that. A lot of philosophers enjoy acting like they know the secrets of the universe. You said it yourself as well: if we are only made human because of our human bodies would it not be sensible for Gregor to lose all and any form of sentience once he becomes a beetle? He is only treated like he's just a nasty beetle that can't be gotten rid of. Doesn't mean he is
@@emerald10005 came here to say this. OPs premise is interesting but in need for stronger points to be backed up. Just because Gregor is treated horribly it doesn't mean he lost his humanity or what makes him humane. The best example would be how black people were treated as slaves and stripped of any right, humiliated and placed on display. Yet it didn't change that they are humans
Especially when it was (and still is) done to us by other Black people around the globe - although the enslavement of women and exploitation of children is more common and harrowing still; even Canada turns a blind eye to prostitution and child sex trafficking through “massage parlors” in example. @@hassanalkhalaf1115
Yes, unfortunately xenophobia, the fear of the diverse, more specifically of the unknown, is at our very core as humans, as animals ourselves, and it translates from our primitive animalistic thoughts to our everyday "regular" ones
Kafka’s stories show that most of ppl’s “good will” are merrily for image than actually being a good person. And that’s what I fear the most. if nobody was looking, if there was never any ridicaule, “good ppl” will commit the greatest sins just bc of no real negative reinforcement.
It might be common for selfish people to pretend good for image status, but some people are just truly good. You learn who's who by how they treat those that aren't going to boost their image provide any benefit to them faking nice. The fake nice evil people tend to be loud bragging in go deeds while the ones that are genuine don't need to show off and a kind no matter who's looking or what the trendy victim to support is.
I disagree. Plenty of people are deceptive and extremely image-conscious, but most of the sociology literature tells us that most aren't that way. Maybe if people started turning into beetles supposedly good people would be more apt to commit murder of a sapient being, but I think a lot of them would do this moreso out of misunderstanding than intent to abuse, even though those abusers would still be present.
I disagree, simply because people tend to aim for the easier option only if it's significantly so. Being good is essentially behaviours that are intended for long term thinking. Even without negative reinforcement. There is the positive reinforcement And there is also maintaining simplicity or a state of calm.
There’s true good people out in the world it’s just so hard to believe because of all the fucked up people and it’s like the good people are ridiculed makes no sense
Problem is, you’re not actually a worm… As he was not actually a bug, it’s just that he looked like a worm or a bug to his Family with limited capability
It depends on what kind of worm. Redworms, for example, can produce their bodyweight in casting (shit) every day of their lives, and that shit is worth its weight in gold, or maybe copper. I've paid $40 for a 15 lb bag of that shit. It's great fertilizer for my tomatoes.
First time I read this book I was actually in tears at the end. Thanks to a disorder I have, I have a chronic suspicion that people who apparently liked me deep down only tolerated my existence. To make matters worse, abandonment is unbearably painful. It's borderline personality disorder in case anyone is curious, and Metamorphosis is the worst nightmare of anyone who has it. Finally feeling the relief of having a family that loves you only to have our worst fears confirmed thanks to something we can't control
Maybe it is not a “disorder” after all. Maybe you have these feelings because of betrayal trauma, because all the evidence in your life points to the fact that the people who are supposed to love you the most will abandon you in the worst of times. Maybe you are more comfortable with the medical terms, it releases you from blame- but either way, you should know that it isn’t your fault. People do not develop these “disorders” in a vacuum- most often it can be linked to relational/attachment trauma. I would venture to guess you’ve been badly hurt. People may always be prone to abandoning the needy, unfortunately, but there are ways to heal even so.
I've had a total of three pretty rough depressive episodes in my life that were sparked by some rough events I went through, but I have never been diagnosed with clinical depression nor would i say i have it. But i have suffered from an anxiety disorder and trauma, and I have always had a deep concern for those who do suffer from disorders like depression and bpd. When I finished reading Metaporphasis for the first time I remember sitting thinking the exact thought "this is a depressed person's worst nightmare." I was especially scared for people who suffered from schizophrenia and bpd because of how those disorders can cause such extreme stigma and conflict in family relationships. I am so sorry that you were one of those people. I hope you know that you are worth every ounce of care in the world, and just because some people might not be here for you, there are still so many people in this world who would. Even if it might feel impossible to feel that way right now, there are always people who care and want you to thrive. You are not a bug. You are more than that. So much more.
When I finished reading Metaporphasis for the first time I remember sitting on my bed thinking the exact same thought. "This is a depressed person's worst nightmare." I've had a total of three pretty crappy depressive episodes in my life, but I wouldn't say I meet the criteria for clinical depression. I do however, have a diagnosed anxiety disorder and I've suffered from childhood trauma. I also care very much about people who suffer from other types of mental disorders and mental health issues. I was really worried about people reading this who already suffered from depression. I was especially worried about people who have disorders like schizophrenia and bpd because of how those disorders can cause such extreme stigma and conflict in family relationships. On top of that how one of the issues of bpd is that it's so hard to not to worry that people you care about are going to abandon you or hate you. It can already be so hard to fight these thoughts on their own and how perfectly this story encapsulates that fear and tries to confirm it in the audiences mind. It's just a terrible combination. I am so sorry that you were one of those people. I hope you know that you are worth every ounce of care in the world, and just because some people might not be here for you, there are still so many people in this world who would. Even if it might feel impossible to feel that way right now, there are always people who care and want you to thrive. You are not a bug. You are worth so much more than that. Nothing you suffer from will ever make you less valuable. Nothing anyone ever says about you will make you any less valuable. I still think this story is probably one of the best things ever written in showing what it feels like to suffer from mental illness for people who don't suffer from it and don't know what it's like. Especially family members of someone with a mental illness. I wish every person who doesn't understand what it is like would be made to read this story so they'd understand what these fears are like. But it's so scary to think about those who are already so vulnerable getting their negative thoughts and deepest fears validated by a story like this.
@@JBFJBFJBF thank you so much for your kindness. I hope your mental health is going well and that you have people in your life to support you through the hard times. Thankfully, my mental health has been doing amazing since I started medication and I have a girlfriend who's everything a person with bpd needs. I do have a friend who also has bpd and will benefit a lot from reading such thoughtful words. There's a lot of stigma around this disorder, so it's always a relief to find someone who's on our side ❤️
I have heard some people say that Gregor didnt actualy turn into a bug, rather he went insane and THOUGHT he did. The theme of the story works either way as in the parents are ashamed that Gregor has mental problems and are afraid of his insanity, people with mental problems werent treated well in those days so it is definitely a valid interpretation
I think the point is, it doesn’t make a difference. I personally interpret it as a metaphor for depression, but if you read it as him actually being a bug, or being super depressed and expressing his self-loathing as seeing himself as a bug, the other characters would treat him exactly the same.
@@krishafyme just life, my friend. No explicit reason is given but he’s stressing about his job and stuff. I highly recommend it, it’s a short read and is very clearly written. This isn’t like Finnegan’s Wake or something.
@@asmodiusjones9563 It is not just life. Its his personal weakness and oversight and lack of understanding of what he is doing and who he is. Lack of maturity in other words. And lack of maturity is punished harshly. If you don't understand something important - you get reminded.
@@JustChill-zd4ib I don’t know how that’s different than what I said except more detailed, but sure. He wakes up as a bug in literally the first sentence so, it’s not like there’s a lot of build up or explanation.
'The Metamorphosis' will always be a reflection of any society to some degree, but while watching this excellent video, I was mainly reminded of the last several years, especially the political climate where I live (U.S.), the Covid responses across the world, and the amplification of everything through the media. It seemed like everything changed overnight. People awoke one morning and only saw dung beetles, not other human beings. Respectful disagreement or debate became impossible, and we all became vermin in each other's eyes. There were contant, gruesome battles between personal integrity and public shame. Sometimes you're Gregor, sometimes you're his father, his mother, his sister, or someone with yet another perspective. I haven't read 'The Metamorphosis" since high school, but this video has inspired me to check it out again.
The difference is that with covid the shaming is tied to specific actions, not tied to a part of people's identity they have no control over. An incurable disease with social stigma would also be a good analogy, because since the victim is stuck with it forever it becomes part of their identity. part of the terror is that their is no path to go back from being a bug. If some set of actions could restore humanity it would be a different story.
I fully agree with the comment pointing out covid was about actions. New debates were waged in all of my circles because, for the first time in my life, people HAD to OPENLY make a political decision. This was grease on a fire because our societies promote and assume that people “are” what they “do”
I've suffered side effects from the vaccine. It seems like even mentioning my health-related complaints is seen as a taboo these days, and getting my treatment (if any) covered by my health insurance is also much more difficult than need be (if at all possible).
More thoughts... an interesting aspect of the situation is that, contrary to the family's perception, Gregor is not universally feared and hated. Some people react fearfully, but not all. For instance, the cleaner shows no fear or aggression (though she has no respect for him; she too thinks he is a mindless animal). The tenants also did not react negatively; in fact, they smiled when they saw him. However, the family projected their own feelings onto everyone else, and thought everyone would be repulsed. It is strongly implied that it was the father's behaviour, not Gregor, that caused the tenants to leave, even though the family later blamed Gregor for it.
when women ask about whether or not you'd still love them when they became a cockroach, no one bats an eye, when a man asks it, suddenly it became one of the greatest pieces of literature edit: the reply section has been semi-necessary yap
Maybe that's actually kind of sad in hindsight because everyone thinks women are just be annoying, but they're actually asking, "would you still care for ME AND MY SPIRIT even if I could not do worldly things for you" like can you not just appreciate the beauty of a worm and say "that's a cool worm" without having to fuck the worm
@@adisca2knah, its clearly just an observation someone made based on what they have experienced or witnessed, they havent called any names or insults, so it shouldnt be offensive to anyone
As an evil person, I would love to hook my bug Gregor up with a comfortable space to live in and some paints so he can at least make art to pass the time. Plus, I'm always forgetting about food in the fridge until it goes bad, so being able to feed it to him would be a win/win.
I made the same "your mom" joke to a girl at work once whose mom had recently died of cancer. She made this shocked/hurt face but just ignored it. I wasn't even thinking about it. It just came out. I still think about it from time to time and feel shame still. That happened about 17-18 years ago so yeah... i know exactly how you feel
I remember in high school making a casual your Mom joke to this nice dude Tyler… I get nauseous thinking about it. I didn’t know his Mom had died a few years prior. It still disgusts me. I can’t even think about it, I was such an idiot.
Lol it's no big deal.. I mean you didn't do it deliberately. You were a youngster, it really shouldn't even cross your mind anymore. I'm sure you have done far worse than that.
for real, people can't expect everyone to tiptoe around them. You made a joke, so what? It's not like you can't use the word mother around them. Obviously you did not mean literally their mom, it was a joke ffs
Growing from a child to a teenager, then adult, had a similar effect on my own parents, who no longer love me the same way they once did. Nobody tells you love disappears when you get older, or that it transfers to younger siblings. It all feels like a lie now.
lots of parents think they love their children unconditionally when it's not true, they want little kids who follow their shadow and can't do no wrongs.
Well my mom has always loved my little brother more than me bcoz maybe he's younger or a boy idk but it hurt me so much, she has shown it soo many times by her actions , but idk growing up I have accepted it ,, I still love her as much as before. But maybe it is what it is. Then I m like fuc* it. Try not to base yourself self value and self love on their basis, you can't control them ,it's sad
It's something you do, being a good person. It isn't something we are. We're just people. And we choose to do the right or wrong thing on a day by day basis.
@@jimmyalfonda3536Right and wrong. I would definitely argue many people are simply good by their very nature. Not everyone has to force themselves to "be good"/chose to be good. Sure, you grow up and learn right from wrong, and learn norms and develop a moral compass, but that's a bit different.
Not in all cases. The choice is mostly to unlearn some terrible moral compass that you've learned over the years and adjust it so that you can be the good person you want to be
@maximusstorm1215 Everyone has impulses to do both good and evil, but not everyone's impulses are the same. Society also doesn't weight all evil the same. For example, enabling behavior is a really common form of evil that quite easily masquerades as good. Divisiveness is toxic but also praised if it's a politician of your own party. My feeling is that there are very few truly good or truly evil people, and a LOT of people somewhere in the middle and trying their best to fake it under the assumption that someday they'll make it.
This video hit home for me... not close to home. Just home. Several years ago my father started showing signs of what we all thought to be skin cancer on the side of his nose. Sparing details that would make this story longer than it needs to be, he never went to get it looked at. A few years of not getting it looked at and it was obvious that something was horribly wrong. It had spread - visibly - down to his upper lip and up the rest of his nose, caused constant profuse nosebleeds, smelled like death... it was horrible. Through this time, he never once refused to help people with anything if they needed it. He never said no to anyone. Not once, ever. My car broke down on the side of the road, and it was during peak covid, so I called my brother, he couldn't come pick me up since the tow truck driver wasn't allowed to take passengers in his cab... called my Dad and he came right out even though he felt miserable and was sleeping. However he had "friends" who were taking advantage of him which he never told anybody about. Remember that part. We finally convinced him that he needed to go to a doctor or he would die, and finally he listened. Turned out he was fired, forced to retire, or otherwise let go from his job shortly before the cancer began to develop... he never told us why, it was a touchy subject to him. But he didn't want to sign up for state medical insurance because he was afraid that they would take his severance. Severance that we found out he more or less gave away to somebody who was using him for drugs and rent money. So we finally convinced him to get set up for state medical insurance once the money was all gone and his "friends" abandoned him. He went to a doctor, and they told him in no uncertain terms that unless they performed surgery on him right away he would die very soon. The cancer had spread from his skin into his sinuses, and into the bone structure that made up his face. So he underwent surgery. He was transformed completely. Totally unrecognizable. His entire nose was gone, most of his upper lip gone, part of his palat gone... in their place a puffy skin graft. He could hardly communicate at all, and the psychological impact was... noticeable. It didn't help that my maternal grandmother died while he was in hospital, and when we told him it was a massive blow to his morale... he respected her a lot. For a while he lived with his mother taking care of her, and I would visit every day for ten months to hook him to a feeding pump that fed him directly through a tube going into his stomach. He slept in the dining room and his living conditions were disgusting because he refused to do even the bare minimum to take care of himself. He would urinate in a flower vase to avoid pausing the food pump, then spill it on the floor or dump it in the kitchen sink, get blood and mucus on everything... I would have to clean up after him because nobody else would, not to mention there were bed bugs upstairs in the bedroom he wasn't using. Then I had to administer his medications, and during this time my mother, his ex-wife died, followed shortly thereafter by his mother. Since the house went to his brother, it was to be sold, and considering how well he treated the house he was staying in, I was understandably fearful of bringing him into my home which I inherited with my brother from my maternal grandmother. So instead we tried to get him to find an apartment... we tried to help him with that, but there were no vacancies. I didn't want to just throw him into hospice, and so I brought him into my home. When I told him he could come, it was the first time I'd seen him act excited in a long, long time. My apprehension was growing, and my brother, his fiance, and my girlfriend at the time all told me not to take him in, and he would make the house a disgusting, unsanitary, biohazard. I pushed on and told them I couldn't just abandon him. Well... after a few months living with us... having gone through the exact process described in this video... I finally gave in and told him he had to go. He went to live with the ones who were taking advantage of him, hopping from one cheap run down hotel to the next until finally, and I'm not kidding when I say this... until finally on my birthday last year, he died. I felt regret for pushing him away, and in retrospect now I feel shame for kicking him out. Everybody tries to comfort me by saying I did what was best for me, and my mental health, but... I mean... he was my father. He never, not once ever said no to me when I needed him. I was his last hope for being able to at least live out his last days in relative comfort and instead I threw him out onto the streets like refuse. He died in abject misery in some shitty run down inner city motel surrounded by people who didn't care about him. Easily the biggest regret in my entire life... and to add insult to injury, the girlfriend who convinced me to push him away eventually ended up being no good anyway.
Life is a Bitch ... ... that we all love ... until we discover dark twists... ... ...then we hate it .. ... Until we discover again how everything make sense ... All those dark and light colours make at the End.... an unique Painting : " YOUR LIFE ".
That's a hard read. I ain't even going to try to console you or offer advice, that's got to hurt deep in the soul. However, if it is any consolation, he didn't really help himself either.
All I can really say is you would have regretted even more if you didn't do anything. And you most likely quotidian have grown to hate and resent him had you stayed with him longer then you did. Sometimes minimizing the tragedy is all your gonna get.
@@Ark-ys2up to be fair to him, we don't know for sure it was suicide. The coroner's office said that his death was related to complications with his cancer. He was very weak the last time I saw him, he could hardly walk up a flight of stairs without passing out and falling down them. His nasal cavity was open to the elements, so he was vulnerable to frequent infections, and since he wouldn't take care of himself... well... it was only a matter of time whether he stayed with me or not. He obviously wasn't going to his doctor appointments, even though he had state insurance.
Ive watched this play out more than once with people very close, who were once brilliant and loved but who lost their mind to mental illness. Both who ended their life under the “care” of family who had honestly given up and turned their empathy off to them. It haunts me in a deep way and has affected my openness towards people. Metamorphosis is one of my favorite stories but also the one I hate the most because of what it speaks to.
This sounded more like an analogy for a family member developing a debilitating mental illness like schizophrenia or dementia to me. One day he wakes up and finds himself unable to work, leave the house, or even clean his own room, he feels incredible shame, a desire to feel noticed and valued by his family, and his mind eventually begins to slip heavily, while his family has to find new jobs and work harder in his absence. The family is immensely concerned and worried for him at first, then grows to fear him, in the book because he's a beetle and a human/beetle hybrid would be scary, irl because people with schizophrenia and dementia can develop violent tendencies that can be difficult to predict, then they grow annoyed and eventually angry with him because of the burden he places on them by his very existence, though it's obviously not his fault or choice, it seems to be human nature assign blame, even if deliberately trying not to do so your mind will trend towards building frustration and anger with someone or something, eventually boiling over if you don't work through it in a healthier manner. I've known people who've had dementia and knew the people that had to care for them for some time before placing them in a permanent living situation. The person who developed dementia was a really close friend to the people that cared for them prior to sending them away, but by the time they placed him in a nursing home they were just relieved to have him out of the house because a burden had been lifted. In a way, the friend died the moment they got the diagnosis, and the care and compassion showed to them afterwards was more to be humane and to honor the prior friendship then anything else. While I don't think this is a good thing, I don't think that feeling burdened by someone who's slowly morphing into someone you don't even know anymore as well as putting an enormous amount of stress on you and your family is an unnatural thing or a condemnation of your character. It's not your fault or the fault of the person that falls ill, it's just a cruel aspect of life that, at the very, very least, allows you to feel some relief when losing a family member instead of exclusively sorrow and grief.
@@jab9109 I could kinda see it that way but to me it seems like he develops depression over time after not being able to work or even leave the house, which is what happens to a lot of chronic dementia patients early on, they can't really work or engage with a lot of society anymore and usually fall into a depressive slump as a result.
Or just physical illness/disability. Disabled people are often viewed as gross because they remind people that their own body’s ability is fragile and temporary
We assessed this book in my literature class. One person actually said Gregor's transformation was karma for "shunning his family at dinner every day." I was stunned and compelled to point out that he wasn't shunning them at all. He simply had nothing left to give at the end of each day after expending all his energy and humanity taking care of them completely on his own. Introverts need solitude to recharge and he was already giving them everything he had.
Are have the capacity to be good and bad. No one is inherently either, and most people arent significantly leaning toward one or another, especially considering morality will differ wildly for some people due to a variety of factors. Not even a saint could be truly good. Even if you attempt to live a life of complete virtue, to survive requires others paying the price for your survival. Many people who consider themselves mostly good rely on the exploitation of people they'll never meet and try not to think about to produce the resources they need to stay alive. It's a passively bad act, but still not a good action for a person to take. Anyway, no one is consistently good or bad, actions and beliefs define people and those things are highly circumstantial and will never be good for everyone. Also, this strict dichotomy misses the point of kafkas work and this video. People should be valued as decent in good and in bad. We're all just people, fighting for our lives.
Sorry for the glaring issues with this, I literally cannot fix it though as my phone is old and dysfunctional. I hope this doesnt undermine the sentiment behind what I wrote though.
people are people, no one can truly be good or bad all their lives and it is natural to screw up on decisions sometimes. A good person isn’t someone who is just good, they are a person trying to be good and that is totally fine and somewhat of a more respectable nature than being selfish and letting your impulses run wild. It’s quite a headache to think actually and cynical, no one wants to befriend the truly good because people suspect that deep down they just want validation or favors.
@@constabrielbell4523 I believe those people always had that side in them, and those situations that drove them over the edge, just revealed what was already there. Not all people change like you say, even when under those situations.
I have A LOT of unprocessed trauma from my childhood that’s left my fight or flight system in the “fight” position almost all of the time. I always sense danger even when there isn’t any, and it does indeed turn into anger. Anger at those who hurt me, and those who didn’t see the damage and didn’t get help for me when I was still young (my parents mostly). It’s the reason I believe I developed “panic disorder”, because I am always trying to be prepared for unexpected, negative events, which don’t allow me to just be happy and enjoy the good times, because I am always expecting them to end and for things to turn out badly. It’s a horrible way to go through life.
This book is about disability; it shows how people are typically treated by their families once they become disabled. It's profoundly honest and realistic despite using this metaphor of transformation instead of depicting an actual accident or a health breakdown. EVERYTHING is so tru in the family dynamics: how the family members initially feel the duty to take care of Gregor, but just can't fight their disgust; how Gregor, despite his own suffering and being mistreated, initially empathises with his family for being burdened with his new disgusting self; how one disabled person in the family casts a shadow on all the family members' reputation; how empathy and disgust just can't coexist in one person's psyche - one has to eventually supress the other. One of the most reslistic pieces of literature ever written, despite using a completely unreslistic event as a premise.
Fear tranforms into anger...we can understand a lot about politics in just those 4 words. How much potential for greatness is crushed by that aspect of human psychology? How much evil is enabled?
The best lesson this book taught is that, most people, even family only like you because you are useful to them. Life is transactional and you must not put too much trust in friends and family, don't expect people to help you when things go wrong, you must be strong enough on your own.
or "friendship, faith, and family: This is the three-headed hydra that you must slay on your path to success" - Mr. Burns. This view is good for defense, but if you see people in that way, you would have no reason to trust or respect anyone and might end up mentally isolated.
I think this is a bit more pessimistic than my take, but I agree that it is important to make friendships and relationships that don’t work in this transactional way
@@zikorajoe7093 Transactional doesn't always refer to material exchange, it can also refer to emotional exchange. There is no such thing as unconditional love, because even sacrifice can give us a great emotional reward.
Have you heard of a game called Limbus Company? I've seen people in comments eference it and to many it was their first meeting with Kafka. The whole story of Gregor is retold with different type of events, making him a fallen war hero, who he was made into against his will. The flashbacks, heavily steered by his emotions, do not focus on gruesomeness of war itself, but pressure he felt from everyone around, expecting him to be their example... devolving deeper and deeper until the source of his trauma bleeds out in form of everpresent pressure from his mother, forcing him to live up to her ambitions. And to make it ever more obvious, Gregor's mother in the game is called Hermann.
No sadness at all, conquest and spiritual victory. To accept the role, to preserve your own compassion in spite of seeing and receiving the worst is a master's victory. Triumph over the mortal human state, to see its ugliness in the rear view mirror. The shame should be for those existing comfortably within Society, a lesson yet to be learned.
I agree with you as someone that's become more vicious as a result of trauma. My partner is still so good at heart and I hope he stays that way. I'll gladly have the malice he can't seem to conjure for those that hurt him and seek to. I'll protect and nurture that light in him no matter how ugly I become.
I felt my heart sinking into my chest every time you mentioned the family celebrsting Gregor's death. The thought, of my family members, celebrsting, cheering my passing, It makes me feel an utterly horrific feeling within me. I. 16 years old. I feel close to being like Gregor. As I'm in a role. A role as the only man in the house. I must do chores. I must study. I must help at my mother's work. If my mind was right, I would do this and even far more. But I have fallen into a crippling depression. A crippling depression that I have been victim of, for months to an end. This video makes me feel a fight or flight response. I either become useful. Or have a feast, of pork and wine, over my own grave, one that won't be mourned upon.
People must keep in mind, good person doesn’t mean they won’t mess up. No one is perfect and you can’t expect a good person to always be perfect. They’re human just like you. We’re all human.
I think context matters A LOT !! There are so many manipulative people who are good at concealing their toxic acts under a blanket of sweet attitude and do all the things that an actual good person does. And then comes a good person, becoming good consists innate capability along with conscious efforts and choices that can align with right direction they want to move in which doesn’t mean they won’t have the bad in them. Some toxic manipulative abusers literally can break such good people apart, provoke them and then also have the audacity to call their abrasive reaction as their true reality as if you are too dumb to understand that you reap what you sow. Because they’re good only until they take their stand. Some people literally don’t know how to understand human beings as human beings. If people think being good means they won’t be harsh towards bad people and will entertain any bullshit are absolutely delusional because it’s not the ‘good’ that they are expecting out of a person it’s literally them asking for people to be ‘nice’ 24/7 and supress their reactions that can enable toxic behaviour without any discomfort for manipulative people. Being good is also knowing when to stand against the bullshit even if it includes giving a reality check like a tight slap
Food waste would not truly be waste, for one. Plus, anything possessed of human intelligence might not be that bad. If it's going to harm you for instance, at least you can know it's deliberate.
You deserve way more subs, the editing quality and the depth of analysis in your videos are something I would expect from someone who has 300-500k subs
I struggle to understand social interaction. Recently I got sick, and also lost a family member. People who were close friends suddenly were angry with me for what seemed like no reason. This really helps me understand. Thank you for this.
I had this happen to me. I was popular among staff at a school I worked at, I bought chocolates from a coworker without knowing they were also selling weed chocolate and vocal about it.I publicly was accused of buying drugs on school grounds. Even though I was found innocent, virtually everyone shunned me afterwards. As a visibly gay man in a conservative setting, I felt like they were looking for a reason to justify their fear of me. I will never trust "good people" again.
In all my countless hours watching youtube over the last 15 years, I have never encountered a video with subtitles this good. If only these were available on the things that actually require subtitles.
This book was often what I thought about when my mom got diagnosed with alcoholic dementia when I was 21. Now 5 years later she has passed and I think about it even more. There was a sense of relief when she passed and I think my whole family feels guilty about it. We tried everything though, but it’s crazy to watch someone you love change so much and know there isn’t any turning back. Trying to help and do what you can but finding bottles stashed away, having things thrown at you, hearing you’re a terrible daughter. The fear that I would become just like her was so palpable, it felt like looking in a mirror and seeing I was now the beetle myself. Friends tried to help me but I hid away, scared I was becoming unrecognisable too. I am not really sure where I was going with that but I guess to say I have thought about the Metamorphosis a lot.
Don't feel so guilty. My grandpa had Alzheimer's and he turned aggressive towards the end. He was like a second dad to me when I was a little kid, so seeing him change so much was scary. But I do think caregiver burn out is very real. There is a difference between wanting to be rid of your loved one because you feel like they are an inconvenience, and feeling relieved that your loved one has passed because you're burned out. And with a long illness like Alzheimer's, there's also the fact that my grandpa is no longer suffering once he has passed which adds to our relief. The fact is, loved ones can be a burden, it can be hard to take care of them. But we do it anyway because that's what love is. But no matter how hard it got, never would we have tried to get rid of my grandpa like Gregor's family tried to get rid of him. I suspect your family feels the same. So you don't have to feel guilty. You loved your mom to the end.
I love Metamorphosis for its inate pessimism. I definitely need to re-read it. The book was a great thought experiment. I find the book a great way to voice Kafka's perspective that "if you don't nourish me, you have no value." When Gregor failed to provide for his family, his significance reduced. All his previous hardwork for his family was forgotton. And he was treated like someone who doesn't matter, being as insignificant as a "vermin". In fact, Gregor was completely forgotton as if he never really existed which is evident when the death/disappearence of Gregor brings relief to the family. Kafka did a great job in giving shape to how he and others feel in todays society.
Growing up with multiple disabled siblings the revulsion and fear of strangers was common for our family. That being said the public perception of those that are different has, in our experience, evolved quite a bit in the last 30 years. I firmly believe books like tjis opened that door.
As I'm listening I remember that this is exactly how my grandma felt when she became crippled. There was nothing she could do without falling. I was always scared that she would fall. And deep down, I thought that she should just die. And I know she felt the same. When she died, I was relieved. I don't shame myself for that anymore because it really was for the better. No matter how much we loved or cared for her, she wouldn't feel better. Because she would never feel useful again.
Currently going through homelessness, drug/porn addiction, family abandonment and failing out of college. When you truly feel like an insect you feel like your existence and words poison everything and everyone around you. It really does feel like your death date is postponed and you live completely based on fear. Its a psycopathic lifestyle that requires you to constantly shed your skin, and you only either wish for a quick death or to become more than an insect
Limbus Company, a game created by Project Moon, references this story quite directly. One of the main characters in the game is called Gregor. He is generally an amicable and helpful person, yet he has one trait that stands out quite clearly. His arm is grotesque, appearing quite bug-like in nature, and is the source of mockery from his peers, with the other characters calling him "bug guy". However, the characters history is quite diffrent from the protagonist of the Kafka novel, as his arm is explained to have been a bionic augmentation increasing his combat skill, yet having a freakish apearance and sometimes acting out on its own. This reframes him into a war-vet archatype, being used as a weapon even at 15 years old, then being discarded by society and having to live with the scars of battle for the rest of his life, being shunned from society.
Parts of this book genuinely just felt like my childhood :/ Learned the important life lessons early on I guess 💪Gotta love Kafka for getting me through tough times tho
I loved/hated this book. It feels like my life right now, struggling alcoholic, used to be functional, but here I am, just growing further and more obscene to the people I love, even then, the love is starting to fade, and all I can think of doing is slumbering away the miserable days all alone, while my wound slowly ends me.
scrambled across this, and it sent a chill down my spine. had a situation happened in our life where a friend got cheated on but he blamed everyone except the girl for it he refused to provide a reason, but just said that we weren't his "real friend" we tried our best to console him and try to calm him down when he came to us the first time around. but afterward, people around us who weren't as tight knitted came to us and revealed that he was basically shittalking us to them more nasty stuff started to turn up when we started to dig towards the girl's side and it turned out, he was a total scumbag and a cheat himself who was already trying to get laid within our own friend group, not counting other crimes he did. everyone from our group basically split apart after the revelation im just scared that maybe we are the one that abandoned him like the family did to gregor because he turned into a "monster" maybe if we, or even just me, took his tantrum and put up with it, i'd still be living the happy facade instead of always having this nightmare scenario replayed in my head for years now yelling into the void like this it made me realize what an ordeal it was and this is probably for the best
@@Ark-ys2up alright, i'll try to get my hand on an audiobook or at least a video essay turns out we're not the first he did this to as well so it really is not a one time thing and he really is just... that kind of people
This is why we can’t generalize what authors write to everyone - that dude didn’t turn into a beetle, he was literally a scumbag. You were WELL within rights to abandon him and and I’d still call you a good person. You don’t need to stay in toxic situations to be a good person. I hope you’ve found a new friend group now
My experience with self-proclaimed “good” people is they will abandon you the moment you express a “bad” quality, rather than helping you overcome it Edit: looks like I struck a nerve with the 13 year old Tate fans who think they have everything figured out. To be clear, im not saying it is their responsibility to **FIX** you, thats on you, but it is their duty as friends to help you along and guide you to the right path, not just abandon you because you might shatter their illusion of satisfaction, by that I mean these people aren’t actually happy or good, they are just lying to themselves about it
@@werewitch9466 i see, so whenever you have a friend going through something you find it appropriate to abandon them because they might bring you down?
came back to this video because i reread metamorphosis today. for the last four years i’ve been suffering with chronic illness and disability and i feel just like gregor. things said in this video felt extremely accurate :(
Two years ago I was very ill and diagnosed with a rare condition , which made me unable to go to school, I was physically unable to get anything done and my mental health was completely out of whack. This made me force the hard truth that people and society as a whole, ignores you and shames you for being behind or not fulfilling your role in it. Family, friends,peers , strangers treated me like an outcast, a broken thing that was not useful to society thus not deserving of respect and acknowledgement. (Just to let u know , I am currently at a very good place in life mentally and much better physically than two years prior ).
Only listening to your video and having never read the book, I feel connected with my journey of grief. I lost both my parents pretty closely back to back during the pandemic. Grief and empathy were there in the beginning, but it felt like everyone else moved on so quickly and I felt alone. As my grief turned to depression, it turned to rage, and I isolated myself even further. I am working to be on the other side of it and recover. To forgive those, who I perceived as distant, but I know somethings can never go back to the ways they were with most people, or myself, or the world.
A captivating concept… this reminds me of the dementia patients I work with. You get to see in real-time how you can be discarded once you become “useless” and or a “burden”. A lot of them end up in nursing homes not knowing why they are there and reenacting memories that were meaningful to them like in childhood, their relationships, or their jobs/careers.
Keep the good ones in your life but observe closely, remove the obvious bad actors. You cant cut everyone out of your life, youll be lonely and miserable
This is just kicking the can down the road though, because then it's simply raises the question as to whether anyone you meet is actually good or just a bad person in diaguise, which is functionally the same thing as saying "you can't trust good people".
This book has helped me understand why I feel so detached from everyone to the point I don’t know how to be close without some type of foundation being built. I don’t get feeling close to someone based on something like being family.
Thank you for the wonderful insight. This really helps me with my regrets and depression that I’ve recently did on my loved ones by abandoning her. It also teaches me to be more careful when abandoning people in our lives. Because if they loved you, abandoning them will immensely impacted their lives. And i did not realize it until now. Thank you
Somehow this seems to be an allegory on aging, on retiring, on going through a severe depressive episode… you change and the world cannot accept it, people abandon you or are repulsed by your behavior, and then one day you die and they are relieved that you’re no longer their burden.
If you have kids or will have them in the future, make sure to never have fights with your spouse in front of them. My parents had a very turbulent marriage when I was a kid, and I was always the “referee” in their fights, trying to get them to stop. Their fights were never physical, but they would say the most horrible things to each other, and insult each other’s families, who I loved. It was almost always my mother who caused the fights because I believe she has a lot of childhood trauma also that’s never been addressed. This put me into a constant state of fear that they would have a fight and it would end up in divorce. I couldn’t imagine my family separating and it felt like a nightmare to imagine only seeing my dad on weekends and not every day like I always had. I was closer to my dad than my mom, as she was often very moody and you would get yelled at over the smallest things. So that’s my best advice to parents or potential future parents. Solve your issues in private and never in front of your kids. It WILL have a major impact on their lives when they get older.
I think that certain takes and phrasings of this dilemma really add to the paranoia we feel when surrounded by our peers. Not everyone is your friend, true, but that doesn’t mean you can’t trust good people. Get to know people and don’t shut yourself out. You’ll find the ones you sync with and will be there for you.
You, seriously, have one of the most useful channels on this platform. Sure, I love all the mindless entertainment that passes my life by without thought, distracts me from the pain of existence... But your channel makes me think and feel... Your videos are a utility that gently force change - metamorphosis - If we seek it. Thank you for your hard work and dedication to what you find valuable. Your well written scripts on pertinent subject matter are rare, but needed in a world so wrought with distraction. Thank you for not just being another "reaction channel" covering topics that do not enrich a life in turmoil, under these very stressful and demanding circumstances. Thank you for being a light that facilitates growth from lives, struggling to grow, in a world of darkness and obscurity. Thank you.
alternative title: most "good people" are not good because they actually have morally good intentions, they act upon what they think makes them a good person.
I remember buying the book but never reading it, but after watching this, I notice a lot of parallels to my life and want to read it now. I'm guessing it's symbolism for having a disability and the effects it has on everything around you.
Well... obviously you can't trust bad people. Neutral people call for ambivalence, not trust. It is those we perceive as good who we often assume we are able to trust. To remove the "good" in the title removes the whole point of the video. That even this narrow sect of humanity is not necessarily trustworthy.
Wow…thank you. This brought a tear to my eye, can very much relate to the decline Gregor experienced. I am wiser and happier for it now but it took many years to get to this place.
The metamorphosis can apply to others and they'll treat you as though you're the one who underwent it. Any undesired change or effects they're enduring shall cause others to mistreat you as a result of how they feel.
Self-centered behaviours go both ways. I remember hearing how much of a pain it is living with a aspd relative with a chronic illness, a lot of shame, blame and still endless manipulation.
I just thought of why when a victim of bully fights back, everyone around him chastises his self defense. Because the bully was only this victim's problem... everyone was just a spectator laughing at how week the victim was. Now the bully is everyone's problem. Everyone around him now needs to be very cautious until this bully finds its next victim.
I’ve actually heard even more tacked on of late, e.g. “fawn” and “friend” have popped up in recent times or it’s possible I had never heard its correct usage before.
Your ability to analyze books is remarkable. Hope you get to review Machiavellian philosophy one day. Particularly the book "the prince." There's a youtuber called "Saint and Sinner," and he did a video deconstructing the book "the prince." It was one of the best analysis I've ever seen. I would love to see your take/interpretation on the book one day. Love your unsolicited advice :D
Thank you! And funnily enough I have a video planned on it but I just don’t think I’ve thought enough about it yet to have anything to say just yet. I will get round to it at some point. I might make a video comparing it to The Art of War, since there are some fun points of similarity and difference
Machiavelli is a loser who not only managed to live and die poor despite his best efforts, but also got tortured in his lifetime. Lesson here is not what he sais but his example, don't be like him :) Marcus Aurelius is another cretin who made Comodus emperor and started the decline of the Roman Empire, although if he done it on purpose some would consider him divine genius, as otherwise being emperor any trash he babbled would've gone as law as divine right can do no wrong... but it goes to prove stoicism does not result in sanity or a better fate but is rather the outcome of a bad fate and the rumigation of one which doesn't sound like happiness to me
machiavellian philosophy is loser philosophy. That guy got tortured and died poor. He was better off at peace being a peasant somewhere. That's because he believed in something false, you can instead fight the government and come better off than a peasant too... my philosophy. Pancho Villa. Lenin. It doesn't matter at all how "smart" you are, if your philosophy is false. So far and always, only God's philosophy is true
What you describe as shame is actually embarrassment, shame is orders of magnitude worse than that. It is a thing that makes you question your own value as a moral being, rather than embarrassment, which is the feeling of losing perhaps a bit of your dignity in the presence of others. Enbarrassment is about how you may be perceived by others, while shame affects how you perceive yourself.
Tbh, me having been an incel this resonates very much with me. How I was treated back then was exactly like that and I thought exactly like that. Nothing changed until I fell in love and really wanted to have a new identity as the future man to my now gf. I completely changed wanting to become the best man I can be no matter what and even if she would say no I know that if I became the man I wanted to be then I would find my future wife and I assume the identity of husband. Altough we are not married and we have only been dating for 2 months, that thought of future wife and future family really guided me to where I wanted.
Hey, this is great and I hope things go well, but you need to do and want to do those things for you, not for the sake of someone else. I wish you luck
I want to read the book now. This reminds me of a humble young Russian game developer who one day made a popular game and around the same time became addicted to NSFW content, let egotism overcome him and have his server turn into an utterly toxic NSFW-reinforcing cult that someone now wants to expose for how people get treated there. I remember when he was making another game and he used to be more civil and friendly. A bit after people complained about what he did and how he changed, I learnt about NSFW addiction and how it affects millions of people and spreads all over the internet like an unrestricted memetic cognitohazard I feel like that would be a very easy way to become an insect by accident. And a disease-carrying one, at that
Young man, you'd make an incredibly good teacher. The world needs people like you. I'd go even further to say that some day, you might become a 'professor' of literature, or philosophy. I know this, as I have over 40 years of teaching experience.
I found your channel thanks to kafka. You speak very fast and eloquently. English is not my native language, I learned English watching videos like yours. By the way, love your accent.
@@lainhikaru5657 I don't know that any one is worse, but I'm no expert in the field. A good source of info is Dr. Mario Martinez, probably the most known of psychoimmunologist.
your videos are so great! recently I've been fixated on philosophy and literature and your channel is like best thing that could happen to me honestly you're so underrated with this amazing quality of your videos I hope more people notice your work!!
Kafka s metamorphosis was a just a thought provoking tale to me untill i came out to my parents as gay I understood Gregor 's shame and the cruelty he faced Nice analysis keep it up
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Why Does Gregor Hold on to ideals So MUCH?🤔
Even if he is not a beetle, one day he will one day wouldn't be able to Work, like if accident that take away lambs, LEGS.
After all,
" NEVER Ask World For acknowledgement;
Weak Never get it
Strong Never needED it."
The best thing I've learned in life is not to care about what people think, not to really connect yourself to others. Because all. will turn on you and abandon you when they cannot have their way with you. people seek to control and use each other. There are no such things as friendships or relationships Genuine relationships that are not predatory are very rare. I can never really afford to get close to no one, because when you do something that they don't like, or when you disagree with them, they will turn against you I'm not going to try to fulfill the role that society gives me. I'll fulfill my own role and I'll live my life on my own terms and I don't care how anybody feels or when anybody thinks about it
@@Nishom0926l
My favourite author, so looking forward to this.
I must say, straight away, that I disagree that fear must be transformed into anger, if it's to be any use, in a fight. I doubt Freud knew much about fighting, but fear is often your greatest motivator, in a fight. If you get angry you'll likely lose. That's not to say that expressing anger can't be effective in scaring off your opponent.
please get rid of your annoying tiktok style subtitles
The whole book was just Kafka's answer to the question "would you still love me if I was a insect" lol
She wasn't clingy. She was a philosopher.
@@jakeryker546it's a joke calm down
that was a joke too lmao@@barreto5945
Who is she?
@@barreto5945 I think you're the one....nvm
Sounds like when someone experiences trauma, and discover that they were valued for their role and not themselves when they are now an inconvenience
Bingo. And that's why the title is completely wrong. Alot of "good" people are merely polite/"nice". Goodness has little correlation to politeness. Some of the most thoroughly good people I've met have been pretty rough characters, they cuss, drink, fight, and womanize, but if you're ever in a burning building they would smash right through windows with bare hands and knowingly risk their own firing from their job and a painful death to save you.
You put that perfectly
Yeah,and family, family is really complex and can as supportive as destructive and abusive.
Henge the saying " you cant choose your family, only your chosen family.
Polite isnt good. I think someone took it right that way too often when in need,people show their aligience more honest.
( unless you are an abuser thats enjoying abusing helpless under their care, but, thsts specific, god that people are horrific)
But else its closer.
Blackpill is nothing new as we can see. Politeness isn't bad, don't cope and make excuses for rude people and yourself. Being polite takes effort and shows a willingness to suppress your own ideals in the moment or in certain settings. Not screaming and spitting at your abusive father who kicked puppies at his funeral would be politeness. Some people abuse politeness or use it as a mask. Being rude is laziness and makes situations confusing is inherently bad. It makes it even more confusing when you happen to do good. You want to be both. The alternatives are inconsistent and that's almost always a source of problems.
@@tetrabromobisphenol Thank you! I was so confused about how he could think that the title relates to the story at all, because it really, really doesn't.
Kafka wrote a 50 page letter to his father about how poorly his father had treated him. You can't really understand Kafka or Metamorphosis, without understanding that he was raised by people who never loved him.
I love his letters (particularly his later ones to Milena Jesenka) it certainly influenced my interpretation here. I just don’t like to turn these videos in biographies, or they’ll be 3 times as long
I disagree. If you have to do your work to enjoy a book that's a bad book.
@@wearslim This is a very simplistic and lazy way of seeing things. Does it mean that you have to know all of Kafka's life and writings to be able to understand anything about the book, or take any valuable lesson from it? Absolutely not. Does it mean that knowing more of his life and perspective can lead you to a more accurate interpretation of the author's intentions and ideas behind the book, however? The answer is yes.
You don't "have to do your work" to enjoy the book, as in life, you don't necesseraly have to know a person's whole life and history to appreciate them and feel inspired by them. But that's just common sense: the more you know about someone/something, the better you can understand them/it and the more intense it gets for you to interact with this person/object.
@@ww_artemis the beginning was really promising but the story is poorly developed and the writing style passable. No wonder why kids don't read nowadays. Teachers sharing shitty books. I'm really shocked by the ratings on Amazon, on Goodreads it's different. Classics are always like this. Maybe you've one to change my mind ? Thank you for your comment. I can obviously agree on some parts. And above all, I was bored all the way...
@@wearslim I don't think that's the MAIN reason why "kids don't read nowadays" though, but I agree the style can feel a bit boring for some people. I mainly read French stuff (since I'm French) and I rarely read "classics", I tend to stick to essays and novels, so I couldn't really recommend you any so called classics.
One of the most depressing things about the book is the fact that if it were to be that something like that would happen to you or something that is seen as "negative", your family and closest friends have the possibility of shunning you away just because you are the root of their fear, therefore rejoice if you are gone. Not all families or friends are this way, however, emotionally inmature families and friends would do this.
Yes. It’s a terrifying feeling!
There is much MUCH more about the book than just that.
People who carry the level of thinking that peaks at the 'me' mentallity (which is actually a lot of people) would do this as well
Stay out work for a litle time. And you gonna see similar thing
My mom had Parkinson’s. People would visit some time. Then her disease progressed greatly. Very few visits the last couple years of her life.
I think anyone who has suffered from illness and disability, especially when it happens “over night”, can understand what this story is about. The way you are treated when you’re no longer the person of perceived value you once were.
As someone who has experienced disabling major depressive episodes, this story made me so thankful for my family who supported and cared for me. I cried several times throughout the story because of the painful relatability of Gregor's emotions and thoughts.
The ending made me mad at his family haha
Man me too im grateful to my family for supporting me through my tough times@@neon-kq6wz
Bro every time I get sick and have three days off from work I rather continue working then hearing people tell me how useless I am or how easy I’m supposedly faking it.
I was the main driver for my siblings and cousins taking them where they need and want to go without hesitation, even when gas was low and I was losing sleep. Being a student in after school and work the most of my money went to gas and help for their snacks + toys you name it. I would have done it all over again, and probably would, but my perspective changed after I broke both arms and couldn’t be of service. Only then was I more of a shadow and realized the whole time that was the reality. I don’t blame them for using what they could to meet their needs/wants or myself for always saying yes but it really slapped me awake.
Exactly. It’s nearly scary listening to this book bc of the parallels it has to life as a disabled person. Just yesterday my 6 year old brother said we shouldn’t share drinks so he wouldn’t “catch” my disability. It was heartbreaking.
I went through this after a breakup. Had my identity and sense of purpose taken away. Family and friends went quiet. Feelings of shame and abandonment. One day though, you wake up as a human again.
this actually helped me man.. thank u for saying
It's exactly this
@@JAA_007❤
@@cosmicman621
Whether you are yourself dreaming that you are a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming that it is a person, live as best as you are able to.
I hope I wake up
I read „Die Verwandlung“ (Metamorphosis) when I was in a madhouse. It described exactly what was going on in my life at that time. Family members were turning away from me because I no longer was who I used to be.
(Sorry for my bad english, I'm german)
What is madhouse? Asylum? What is the german word for madhouse?
@@Grefareal the german word is „Psychiatrie“
Foreigners will speak better English than native English speakers and than apologize.
@@menschenfreund3436 I see, hope you are in a better environment now
@@thehazyblobspeaking English in a way that most accurately conforms to the formal academic rules, and speaking English in a way that is most effective and communicative are not necessarily the same thing.
What stood out to me was that, while both sides lamented the lack of communication between them, neither side makes any serious effort to communicate. They just resign themselves to the idea that they cannot be understood. There is this sense that, deep down, they *want* to believe this, because their negative emotions (fear and shame) are what is *actually* preventing them from understanding each other.
Then they need not to communicate. Natural and healthy communication happens almost effortlessly and is easy. If there is a difficulty and confusion, such communication should be stopped completely.
@@JustChill-zd4ib why? I don't understand your position. Sometimes it does take effort to communicate, and not just because the channel of communication is inappropriate. It can be either because you have to work on yourself to overcome your own biases or because the situation that the other person is in is entirely unfamiliar to you.
Or both, as in this case. Sadly, no one rose to the challenge.
@@JustChill-zd4ibthat is just bad mentality
@@JustChill-zd4ib how incredibly childish
@@JustChill-zd4ib BRO STOP PAYING YOUR THERAPIST
As Iroh himself has said "Pride is not the opposite of shame, it is the source of it."
I don't get the quote, the opposite of pride has always been humility. And shame can be felt by both prideful and humble individuals.
@adisca2k why would humble individuals feel shame?
@@ammonquitalig9077 Why wouldn't they? They are not immune to making bad choices or mistakes that bring regret and shame. True, with enough humility they might lack the shame brought from their shortcomings, but that is only one possible source.
Besides, prideful and humble is a scale, you can still feel proud about some things while being mostly humble in general, which would still classify you as humble when dealing in absolutes.
@@adisca2k It means we feel shame because of our ego.
For instance you only care about being bad at something if you actually want to be good at it, or at least think you should be good at it.
@@Asa-b9hw I know that is the message he was going for, but the quote is formulated in a wierd way.
Why would pride be considered the opposite of shame when they both have their own separate opposites? Arrogance would be a better fit, which yes includes some pride, but it also includes ignorance which offers some protection against shame, hence an opposite of sorts. Though arrogance itself is not a source of shame, it is indeed only the pride component of it.
And the second part makes it sound like pride is the only source of shame, but that could be only my misinterpretation. After all, it sounds more powerful using 'the' instead of 'a' (source).
When I was reading Metamorphosis it was as clear as day that metamorphosis is a metaphor for someone suddenly becoming disabled, whether physically or mentally. Every disabled person knows what it's like to "become a burden" and start seeing resentment in the family's eyes. The same thing can be said about rapidly ageing family members
Hey mellmao, can you please sort comments by new and check my comment? It is related to what you wrote and I would like to know what you think
Yeah, it’s a really on the nose analogy for disability/chronic illness and the ableism people experience and it’s kinda weird that so few analyses of the book talk about that
Bro, I am not disabled, make a decent income and still half of my family hates me😂 just shitty times, I guess. Or at least in my country😂
@@EmergingEchoidk bruh my family is too broken whatever I try to connect all the relationships it won't work ,they hate me each and everyone now I should not care about them I'm tired
Yes, it was glaringly obvious that it was a metaphor for disability and the painful truth that your ability or inability to do what you once did makes those you love see you differently and as a burden
This sheds light on the ever present feeling of why it's so hard to truly trust anyone. Even when people treat you nicely, there's this underlying tone of it being very conditional (at least by the majority). And therefore, how much is this love worth...
In a way, it's always conditional, it's really hard to find someone truly "good" who can put everyone up no matter what. And that's ok, we are not robots, each individual have it's own needs and wishes, but I feel that people should be more clear on what conditions they want, and not burn bridges in relationships, but try to have a mutual betterment.
Why wouldn't it be conditional. what about you is so fundamentally and transcendently great that you deserve to be valued just for existing? Who promised you that this would be the case?
@@Laotzu.Goldbug If I'm treated nicely and, by comparison, see that someone else wasn't while we did exactly the same thing, it makes my stomach sink.. I don't want that kind of love, it's worthless :)
Yep! You can be best friend with someone, then you show even a tiny hint of having different political believe, and suddenly the other person act like you just killed their family. Happen mostly with the so called "progressive" people, even though it used to be the conservatives who do this exclusively.
Friends have said, ' I TRUST NO ONE, I TRUST GOD.'
Also, I feel like Kafka tries to tell us that humans aren't any different from any other creatures; as believed by religious people that humans are exceptional i.e. anthropocenal. Rather, we are just 'cockroaches who developed intellect'. Kafka argues that its only our human bodies that make us human, and not our souls. When Gregor loses his body, he is never treated like a human despite his 'soul' being fully intact.
This is a really interesting thought! I almost want to make a video on this topic now
Perhaps a more sensible conclusion for Kafka to reach would be the perception of that. A lot of philosophers enjoy acting like they know the secrets of the universe. You said it yourself as well: if we are only made human because of our human bodies would it not be sensible for Gregor to lose all and any form of sentience once he becomes a beetle? He is only treated like he's just a nasty beetle that can't be gotten rid of. Doesn't mean he is
@@emerald10005 came here to say this. OPs premise is interesting but in need for stronger points to be backed up. Just because Gregor is treated horribly it doesn't mean he lost his humanity or what makes him humane. The best example would be how black people were treated as slaves and stripped of any right, humiliated and placed on display. Yet it didn't change that they are humans
Especially when it was (and still is) done to us by other Black people around the globe - although the enslavement of women and exploitation of children is more common and harrowing still; even Canada turns a blind eye to prostitution and child sex trafficking through “massage parlors” in example. @@hassanalkhalaf1115
Yes, unfortunately xenophobia, the fear of the diverse, more specifically of the unknown, is at our very core as humans, as animals ourselves, and it translates from our primitive animalistic thoughts to our everyday "regular" ones
Kafka’s stories show that most of ppl’s “good will” are merrily for image than actually being a good person.
And that’s what I fear the most. if nobody was looking, if there was never any ridicaule, “good ppl” will commit the greatest sins just bc of no real negative reinforcement.
It might be common for selfish people to pretend good for image status, but some people are just truly good. You learn who's who by how they treat those that aren't going to boost their image provide any benefit to them faking nice.
The fake nice evil people tend to be loud bragging in go deeds while the ones that are genuine don't need to show off and a kind no matter who's looking or what the trendy victim to support is.
I disagree. Plenty of people are deceptive and extremely image-conscious, but most of the sociology literature tells us that most aren't that way. Maybe if people started turning into beetles supposedly good people would be more apt to commit murder of a sapient being, but I think a lot of them would do this moreso out of misunderstanding than intent to abuse, even though those abusers would still be present.
I disagree, simply because people tend to aim for the easier option only if it's significantly so.
Being good is essentially behaviours that are intended for long term thinking.
Even without negative reinforcement.
There is the positive reinforcement
And there is also maintaining simplicity or a state of calm.
There’s true good people out in the world it’s just so hard to believe because of all the fucked up people and it’s like the good people are ridiculed makes no sense
Don't be constrained by morals.
"Would you still love me if i was a worm?" Answer: no
Problem is, you’re not actually a worm… As he was not actually a bug, it’s just that he looked like a worm or a bug to his Family with limited capability
@@CobraDove1111would you love me in sickness or in health is the veiled question and unfortunately no, the answer seems to be overwhelmingly no
"Those who control the Spice, control the Universe."
@@TheMrEcks ahh a man of culture
It depends on what kind of worm. Redworms, for example, can produce their bodyweight in casting (shit) every day of their lives, and that shit is worth its weight in gold, or maybe copper. I've paid $40 for a 15 lb bag of that shit. It's great fertilizer for my tomatoes.
First time I read this book I was actually in tears at the end. Thanks to a disorder I have, I have a chronic suspicion that people who apparently liked me deep down only tolerated my existence. To make matters worse, abandonment is unbearably painful. It's borderline personality disorder in case anyone is curious, and Metamorphosis is the worst nightmare of anyone who has it. Finally feeling the relief of having a family that loves you only to have our worst fears confirmed thanks to something we can't control
Extremely relatable as someone with CPTSD
Maybe it is not a “disorder” after all. Maybe you have these feelings because of betrayal trauma, because all the evidence in your life points to the fact that the people who are supposed to love you the most will abandon you in the worst of times. Maybe you are more comfortable with the medical terms, it releases you from blame- but either way, you should know that it isn’t your fault. People do not develop these “disorders” in a vacuum- most often it can be linked to relational/attachment trauma. I would venture to guess you’ve been badly hurt. People may always be prone to abandoning the needy, unfortunately, but there are ways to heal even so.
I've had a total of three pretty rough depressive episodes in my life that were sparked by some rough events I went through, but I have never been diagnosed with clinical depression nor would i say i have it. But i have suffered from an anxiety disorder and trauma, and I have always had a deep concern for those who do suffer from disorders like depression and bpd.
When I finished reading Metaporphasis for the first time I remember sitting thinking the exact thought "this is a depressed person's worst nightmare." I was especially scared for people who suffered from schizophrenia and bpd because of how those disorders can cause such extreme stigma and conflict in family relationships. I am so sorry that you were one of those people. I hope you know that you are worth every ounce of care in the world, and just because some people might not be here for you, there are still so many people in this world who would. Even if it might feel impossible to feel that way right now, there are always people who care and want you to thrive. You are not a bug. You are more than that. So much more.
When I finished reading Metaporphasis for the first time I remember sitting on my bed thinking the exact same thought. "This is a depressed person's worst nightmare."
I've had a total of three pretty crappy depressive episodes in my life, but I wouldn't say I meet the criteria for clinical depression. I do however, have a diagnosed anxiety disorder and I've suffered from childhood trauma. I also care very much about people who suffer from other types of mental disorders and mental health issues.
I was really worried about people reading this who already suffered from depression. I was especially worried about people who have disorders like schizophrenia and bpd because of how those disorders can cause such extreme stigma and conflict in family relationships. On top of that how one of the issues of bpd is that it's so hard to not to worry that people you care about are going to abandon you or hate you. It can already be so hard to fight these thoughts on their own and how perfectly this story encapsulates that fear and tries to confirm it in the audiences mind. It's just a terrible combination.
I am so sorry that you were one of those people. I hope you know that you are worth every ounce of care in the world, and just because some people might not be here for you, there are still so many people in this world who would. Even if it might feel impossible to feel that way right now, there are always people who care and want you to thrive. You are not a bug. You are worth so much more than that. Nothing you suffer from will ever make you less valuable. Nothing anyone ever says about you will make you any less valuable.
I still think this story is probably one of the best things ever written in showing what it feels like to suffer from mental illness for people who don't suffer from it and don't know what it's like. Especially family members of someone with a mental illness. I wish every person who doesn't understand what it is like would be made to read this story so they'd understand what these fears are like. But it's so scary to think about those who are already so vulnerable getting their negative thoughts and deepest fears validated by a story like this.
@@JBFJBFJBF thank you so much for your kindness. I hope your mental health is going well and that you have people in your life to support you through the hard times. Thankfully, my mental health has been doing amazing since I started medication and I have a girlfriend who's everything a person with bpd needs. I do have a friend who also has bpd and will benefit a lot from reading such thoughtful words. There's a lot of stigma around this disorder, so it's always a relief to find someone who's on our side ❤️
I have heard some people say that Gregor didnt actualy turn into a bug, rather he went insane and THOUGHT he did.
The theme of the story works either way as in the parents are ashamed that Gregor has mental problems and are afraid of his insanity, people with mental problems werent treated well in those days so it is definitely a valid interpretation
I think the point is, it doesn’t make a difference. I personally interpret it as a metaphor for depression, but if you read it as him actually being a bug, or being super depressed and expressing his self-loathing as seeing himself as a bug, the other characters would treat him exactly the same.
@@asmodiusjones9563I haven't read the book so just asking, what was the reason for him to become depressed/ becoming bug?
@@krishafyme just life, my friend. No explicit reason is given but he’s stressing about his job and stuff.
I highly recommend it, it’s a short read and is very clearly written. This isn’t like Finnegan’s Wake or something.
@@asmodiusjones9563 It is not just life. Its his personal weakness and oversight and lack of understanding of what he is doing and who he is. Lack of maturity in other words. And lack of maturity is punished harshly. If you don't understand something important - you get reminded.
@@JustChill-zd4ib I don’t know how that’s different than what I said except more detailed, but sure. He wakes up as a bug in literally the first sentence so, it’s not like there’s a lot of build up or explanation.
'The Metamorphosis' will always be a reflection of any society to some degree, but while watching this excellent video, I was mainly reminded of the last several years, especially the political climate where I live (U.S.), the Covid responses across the world, and the amplification of everything through the media. It seemed like everything changed overnight. People awoke one morning and only saw dung beetles, not other human beings. Respectful disagreement or debate became impossible, and we all became vermin in each other's eyes. There were contant, gruesome battles between personal integrity and public shame. Sometimes you're Gregor, sometimes you're his father, his mother, his sister, or someone with yet another perspective. I haven't read 'The Metamorphosis" since high school, but this video has inspired me to check it out again.
I like the thought of us reflecting different characters in the story at different times!
The difference is that with covid the shaming is tied to specific actions, not tied to a part of people's identity they have no control over.
An incurable disease with social stigma would also be a good analogy, because since the victim is stuck with it forever it becomes part of their identity.
part of the terror is that their is no path to go back from being a bug. If some set of actions could restore humanity it would be a different story.
I fully agree with the comment pointing out covid was about actions. New debates were waged in all of my circles because, for the first time in my life, people HAD to OPENLY make a political decision. This was grease on a fire because our societies promote and assume that people “are” what they “do”
Agreed and well said
I've suffered side effects from the vaccine. It seems like even mentioning my health-related complaints is seen as a taboo these days, and getting my treatment (if any) covered by my health insurance is also much more difficult than need be (if at all possible).
More thoughts... an interesting aspect of the situation is that, contrary to the family's perception, Gregor is not universally feared and hated. Some people react fearfully, but not all. For instance, the cleaner shows no fear or aggression (though she has no respect for him; she too thinks he is a mindless animal). The tenants also did not react negatively; in fact, they smiled when they saw him. However, the family projected their own feelings onto everyone else, and thought everyone would be repulsed. It is strongly implied that it was the father's behaviour, not Gregor, that caused the tenants to leave, even though the family later blamed Gregor for it.
when women ask about whether or not you'd still love them when they became a cockroach, no one bats an eye, when a man asks it, suddenly it became one of the greatest pieces of literature
edit: the reply section has been semi-necessary yap
Yes because women are already those said creatures 😂
yes because man wrote a book and woman did not.
holyshit, my shitpost garnered niche attentiton
😂
Maybe that's actually kind of sad in hindsight because everyone thinks women are just be annoying, but they're actually asking, "would you still care for ME AND MY SPIRIT even if I could not do worldly things for you" like can you not just appreciate the beauty of a worm and say "that's a cool worm" without having to fuck the worm
Shame is a weapon wielded by those who have none.
By the foolish and the devious
Hallelujah!
Someone other than me said this stuff.
Often those who try to shame behaviours are the ones who do the worst in secrecy.
Oooh good one.
Isn't this quote trying to cast shame on the shameless for having none?
@@adisca2knah, its clearly just an observation someone made based on what they have experienced or witnessed, they havent called any names or insults, so it shouldnt be offensive to anyone
As an evil person, I would love to hook my bug Gregor up with a comfortable space to live in and some paints so he can at least make art to pass the time. Plus, I'm always forgetting about food in the fridge until it goes bad, so being able to feed it to him would be a win/win.
As yet another evil person, I concur.
Truly devious indeed
He shall be my equal in the evil lair
i am bugged at the fact that this is so sweet. spit your shit out majesty and take care of gregor
Dear God, how may we punish such horrible behavior??
I made the same "your mom" joke to a girl at work once whose mom had recently died of cancer. She made this shocked/hurt face but just ignored it. I wasn't even thinking about it. It just came out. I still think about it from time to time and feel shame still. That happened about 17-18 years ago so yeah... i know exactly how you feel
I remember in high school making a casual your Mom joke to this nice dude Tyler… I get nauseous thinking about it. I didn’t know his Mom had died a few years prior. It still disgusts me. I can’t even think about it, I was such an idiot.
Lol it's no big deal.. I mean you didn't do it deliberately. You were a youngster, it really shouldn't even cross your mind anymore. I'm sure you have done far worse than that.
Been there too, did it to one of my good childhood friends when I first met him.
for real, people can't expect everyone to tiptoe around them. You made a joke, so what? It's not like you can't use the word mother around them. Obviously you did not mean literally their mom, it was a joke ffs
@@Anglisc1682you don’t get to decide that.
Growing from a child to a teenager, then adult, had a similar effect on my own parents, who no longer love me the same way they once did. Nobody tells you love disappears when you get older, or that it transfers to younger siblings. It all feels like a lie now.
lots of parents think they love their children unconditionally when it's not true, they want little kids who follow their shadow and can't do no wrongs.
Oh... Oh that hurts. I'm so sorry. I know exactly how that feels.
That’s not the way every family works
I disagree. If my dad and I were in a dangerous situation, there’s no doubt in my mind that he would put his life on the line to keep me safe. I’m 25.
Well my mom has always loved my little brother more than me bcoz maybe he's younger or a boy idk but it hurt me so much, she has shown it soo many times by her actions , but idk growing up I have accepted it ,, I still love her as much as before. But maybe it is what it is. Then I m like fuc* it. Try not to base yourself self value and self love on their basis, you can't control them ,it's sad
Goodness is not a destination we arrive at, but a practice.
...and a choice.
It's something you do, being a good person. It isn't something we are. We're just people. And we choose to do the right or wrong thing on a day by day basis.
@@jimmyalfonda3536Right and wrong. I would definitely argue many people are simply good by their very nature. Not everyone has to force themselves to "be good"/chose to be good. Sure, you grow up and learn right from wrong, and learn norms and develop a moral compass, but that's a bit different.
Not in all cases. The choice is mostly to unlearn some terrible moral compass that you've learned over the years and adjust it so that you can be the good person you want to be
@maximusstorm1215 Everyone has impulses to do both good and evil, but not everyone's impulses are the same.
Society also doesn't weight all evil the same. For example, enabling behavior is a really common form of evil that quite easily masquerades as good. Divisiveness is toxic but also praised if it's a politician of your own party.
My feeling is that there are very few truly good or truly evil people, and a LOT of people somewhere in the middle and trying their best to fake it under the assumption that someday they'll make it.
This video hit home for me... not close to home. Just home.
Several years ago my father started showing signs of what we all thought to be skin cancer on the side of his nose. Sparing details that would make this story longer than it needs to be, he never went to get it looked at. A few years of not getting it looked at and it was obvious that something was horribly wrong. It had spread - visibly - down to his upper lip and up the rest of his nose, caused constant profuse nosebleeds, smelled like death... it was horrible.
Through this time, he never once refused to help people with anything if they needed it. He never said no to anyone. Not once, ever. My car broke down on the side of the road, and it was during peak covid, so I called my brother, he couldn't come pick me up since the tow truck driver wasn't allowed to take passengers in his cab... called my Dad and he came right out even though he felt miserable and was sleeping. However he had "friends" who were taking advantage of him which he never told anybody about. Remember that part.
We finally convinced him that he needed to go to a doctor or he would die, and finally he listened. Turned out he was fired, forced to retire, or otherwise let go from his job shortly before the cancer began to develop... he never told us why, it was a touchy subject to him. But he didn't want to sign up for state medical insurance because he was afraid that they would take his severance. Severance that we found out he more or less gave away to somebody who was using him for drugs and rent money.
So we finally convinced him to get set up for state medical insurance once the money was all gone and his "friends" abandoned him. He went to a doctor, and they told him in no uncertain terms that unless they performed surgery on him right away he would die very soon. The cancer had spread from his skin into his sinuses, and into the bone structure that made up his face.
So he underwent surgery. He was transformed completely. Totally unrecognizable. His entire nose was gone, most of his upper lip gone, part of his palat gone... in their place a puffy skin graft. He could hardly communicate at all, and the psychological impact was... noticeable. It didn't help that my maternal grandmother died while he was in hospital, and when we told him it was a massive blow to his morale... he respected her a lot.
For a while he lived with his mother taking care of her, and I would visit every day for ten months to hook him to a feeding pump that fed him directly through a tube going into his stomach. He slept in the dining room and his living conditions were disgusting because he refused to do even the bare minimum to take care of himself. He would urinate in a flower vase to avoid pausing the food pump, then spill it on the floor or dump it in the kitchen sink, get blood and mucus on everything... I would have to clean up after him because nobody else would, not to mention there were bed bugs upstairs in the bedroom he wasn't using. Then I had to administer his medications, and during this time my mother, his ex-wife died, followed shortly thereafter by his mother.
Since the house went to his brother, it was to be sold, and considering how well he treated the house he was staying in, I was understandably fearful of bringing him into my home which I inherited with my brother from my maternal grandmother. So instead we tried to get him to find an apartment... we tried to help him with that, but there were no vacancies. I didn't want to just throw him into hospice, and so I brought him into my home. When I told him he could come, it was the first time I'd seen him act excited in a long, long time.
My apprehension was growing, and my brother, his fiance, and my girlfriend at the time all told me not to take him in, and he would make the house a disgusting, unsanitary, biohazard. I pushed on and told them I couldn't just abandon him.
Well... after a few months living with us... having gone through the exact process described in this video... I finally gave in and told him he had to go. He went to live with the ones who were taking advantage of him, hopping from one cheap run down hotel to the next until finally, and I'm not kidding when I say this... until finally on my birthday last year, he died.
I felt regret for pushing him away, and in retrospect now I feel shame for kicking him out. Everybody tries to comfort me by saying I did what was best for me, and my mental health, but... I mean... he was my father. He never, not once ever said no to me when I needed him. I was his last hope for being able to at least live out his last days in relative comfort and instead I threw him out onto the streets like refuse. He died in abject misery in some shitty run down inner city motel surrounded by people who didn't care about him.
Easily the biggest regret in my entire life... and to add insult to injury, the girlfriend who convinced me to push him away eventually ended up being no good anyway.
Life is a Bitch ...
...
that we all love
...
until we discover
dark twists...
...
...then we hate it
.. ...
Until we discover again how
everything make sense ...
All those dark and light colours make
at the End....
an unique Painting :
" YOUR LIFE ".
That's a hard read.
I ain't even going to try to console you or offer advice, that's got to hurt deep in the soul.
However, if it is any consolation, he didn't really help himself either.
All I can really say is you would have regretted even more if you didn't do anything.
And you most likely quotidian have grown to hate and resent him had you stayed with him longer then you did.
Sometimes minimizing the tragedy is all your gonna get.
You definitely did a lot more for him than anyone else…
@@Ark-ys2up to be fair to him, we don't know for sure it was suicide. The coroner's office said that his death was related to complications with his cancer. He was very weak the last time I saw him, he could hardly walk up a flight of stairs without passing out and falling down them. His nasal cavity was open to the elements, so he was vulnerable to frequent infections, and since he wouldn't take care of himself... well... it was only a matter of time whether he stayed with me or not. He obviously wasn't going to his doctor appointments, even though he had state insurance.
As someone who turned from being a "gifted child", the one who "is born to have great success in life", to having a disability: I feel it.
That sucks.
The gifted child to burnt out and sick pipeline is so real
Ive watched this play out more than once with people very close, who were once brilliant and loved but who lost their mind to mental illness. Both who ended their life under the “care” of family who had honestly given up and turned their empathy off to them. It haunts me in a deep way and has affected my openness towards people. Metamorphosis is one of my favorite stories but also the one I hate the most because of what it speaks to.
This sounded more like an analogy for a family member developing a debilitating mental illness like schizophrenia or dementia to me. One day he wakes up and finds himself unable to work, leave the house, or even clean his own room, he feels incredible shame, a desire to feel noticed and valued by his family, and his mind eventually begins to slip heavily, while his family has to find new jobs and work harder in his absence. The family is immensely concerned and worried for him at first, then grows to fear him, in the book because he's a beetle and a human/beetle hybrid would be scary, irl because people with schizophrenia and dementia can develop violent tendencies that can be difficult to predict, then they grow annoyed and eventually angry with him because of the burden he places on them by his very existence, though it's obviously not his fault or choice, it seems to be human nature assign blame, even if deliberately trying not to do so your mind will trend towards building frustration and anger with someone or something, eventually boiling over if you don't work through it in a healthier manner. I've known people who've had dementia and knew the people that had to care for them for some time before placing them in a permanent living situation. The person who developed dementia was a really close friend to the people that cared for them prior to sending them away, but by the time they placed him in a nursing home they were just relieved to have him out of the house because a burden had been lifted. In a way, the friend died the moment they got the diagnosis, and the care and compassion showed to them afterwards was more to be humane and to honor the prior friendship then anything else. While I don't think this is a good thing, I don't think that feeling burdened by someone who's slowly morphing into someone you don't even know anymore as well as putting an enormous amount of stress on you and your family is an unnatural thing or a condemnation of your character. It's not your fault or the fault of the person that falls ill, it's just a cruel aspect of life that, at the very, very least, allows you to feel some relief when losing a family member instead of exclusively sorrow and grief.
I always thought it's about depression and how people around you deal with it.
@@jab9109 I could kinda see it that way but to me it seems like he develops depression over time after not being able to work or even leave the house, which is what happens to a lot of chronic dementia patients early on, they can't really work or engage with a lot of society anymore and usually fall into a depressive slump as a result.
Or just physical illness/disability. Disabled people are often viewed as gross because they remind people that their own body’s ability is fragile and temporary
We assessed this book in my literature class. One person actually said Gregor's transformation was karma for "shunning his family at dinner every day." I was stunned and compelled to point out that he wasn't shunning them at all. He simply had nothing left to give at the end of each day after expending all his energy and humanity taking care of them completely on his own. Introverts need solitude to recharge and he was already giving them everything he had.
Good people are good.
Those are just people who act like they are good, but when that filter is removed, light shines on their true self.
You can also say, good people become bad when pushed enough, they’ll change.
Are have the capacity to be good and bad. No one is inherently either, and most people arent significantly leaning toward one or another, especially considering morality will differ wildly for some people due to a variety of factors. Not even a saint could be truly good. Even if you attempt to live a life of complete virtue, to survive requires others paying the price for your survival. Many people who consider themselves mostly good rely on the exploitation of people they'll never meet and try not to think about to produce the resources they need to stay alive. It's a passively bad act, but still not a good action for a person to take. Anyway, no one is consistently good or bad, actions and beliefs define people and those things are highly circumstantial and will never be good for everyone. Also, this strict dichotomy misses the point of kafkas work and this video. People should be valued as decent in good and in bad. We're all just people, fighting for our lives.
Sorry for the glaring issues with this, I literally cannot fix it though as my phone is old and dysfunctional. I hope this doesnt undermine the sentiment behind what I wrote though.
people are people, no one can truly be good or bad all their lives and it is natural to screw up on decisions sometimes. A good person isn’t someone who is just good, they are a person trying to be good and that is totally fine and somewhat of a more respectable nature than being selfish and letting your impulses run wild. It’s quite a headache to think actually and cynical, no one wants to befriend the truly good because people suspect that deep down they just want validation or favors.
@@constabrielbell4523 I believe those people always had that side in them, and those situations that drove them over the edge, just revealed what was already there.
Not all people change like you say, even when under those situations.
I have A LOT of unprocessed trauma from my childhood that’s left my fight or flight system in the “fight” position almost all of the time. I always sense danger even when there isn’t any, and it does indeed turn into anger.
Anger at those who hurt me, and those who didn’t see the damage and didn’t get help for me when I was still young (my parents mostly). It’s the reason I believe I developed “panic disorder”, because I am always trying to be prepared for unexpected, negative events, which don’t allow me to just be happy and enjoy the good times, because I am always expecting them to end and for things to turn out badly.
It’s a horrible way to go through life.
This book is about disability; it shows how people are typically treated by their families once they become disabled. It's profoundly honest and realistic despite using this metaphor of transformation instead of depicting an actual accident or a health breakdown. EVERYTHING is so tru in the family dynamics: how the family members initially feel the duty to take care of Gregor, but just can't fight their disgust; how Gregor, despite his own suffering and being mistreated, initially empathises with his family for being burdened with his new disgusting self; how one disabled person in the family casts a shadow on all the family members' reputation; how empathy and disgust just can't coexist in one person's psyche - one has to eventually supress the other. One of the most reslistic pieces of literature ever written, despite using a completely unreslistic event as a premise.
Fear tranforms into anger...we can understand a lot about politics in just those 4 words. How much potential for greatness is crushed by that aspect of human psychology? How much evil is enabled?
And the billionaires who owns everything literally know how to manipulate the sheeple, Just look at the PLANNEDemic
“Fear leads to Anger, Anger least to Hate, Hate leads to Suffering.”
~Yoda from Star Wars
The best lesson this book taught is that, most people, even family only like you because you are useful to them. Life is transactional and you must not put too much trust in friends and family, don't expect people to help you when things go wrong, you must be strong enough on your own.
Ehhh not really,I can imagine a person not transactional at all, would still be scared if someone is a bug and would be really paranoid
or "friendship, faith, and family: This is the three-headed hydra that you must slay on your path to success" - Mr. Burns.
This view is good for defense, but if you see people in that way, you would have no reason to trust or respect anyone and might end up mentally isolated.
I think this is a bit more pessimistic than my take, but I agree that it is important to make friendships and relationships that don’t work in this transactional way
The book goes way deeper than just that. That's barely scratching the surface, if anything.
@@zikorajoe7093 Transactional doesn't always refer to material exchange, it can also refer to emotional exchange. There is no such thing as unconditional love, because even sacrifice can give us a great emotional reward.
Have you heard of a game called Limbus Company? I've seen people in comments eference it and to many it was their first meeting with Kafka.
The whole story of Gregor is retold with different type of events, making him a fallen war hero, who he was made into against his will. The flashbacks, heavily steered by his emotions, do not focus on gruesomeness of war itself, but pressure he felt from everyone around, expecting him to be their example... devolving deeper and deeper until the source of his trauma bleeds out in form of everpresent pressure from his mother, forcing him to live up to her ambitions.
And to make it ever more obvious, Gregor's mother in the game is called Hermann.
No sadness at all, conquest and spiritual victory. To accept the role, to preserve your own compassion in spite of seeing and receiving the worst is a master's victory. Triumph over the mortal human state, to see its ugliness in the rear view mirror. The shame should be for those existing comfortably within Society, a lesson yet to be learned.
Doesn't make it any less lonely or painful. There has to be an answer other than "adapt."
I agree with you as someone that's become more vicious as a result of trauma. My partner is still so good at heart and I hope he stays that way. I'll gladly have the malice he can't seem to conjure for those that hurt him and seek to. I'll protect and nurture that light in him no matter how ugly I become.
Sounds like giving up
I felt my heart sinking into my chest every time you mentioned the family celebrsting Gregor's death. The thought, of my family members, celebrsting, cheering my passing, It makes me feel an utterly horrific feeling within me.
I. 16 years old. I feel close to being like Gregor. As I'm in a role. A role as the only man in the house. I must do chores. I must study. I must help at my mother's work. If my mind was right, I would do this and even far more. But I have fallen into a crippling depression. A crippling depression that I have been victim of, for months to an end.
This video makes me feel a fight or flight response.
I either become useful. Or have a feast, of pork and wine, over my own grave, one that won't be mourned upon.
People must keep in mind, good person doesn’t mean they won’t mess up. No one is perfect and you can’t expect a good person to always be perfect. They’re human just like you. We’re all human.
I think context matters A LOT !! There are so many manipulative people who are good at concealing their toxic acts under a blanket of sweet attitude and do all the things that an actual good person does. And then comes a good person, becoming good consists innate capability along with conscious efforts and choices that can align with right direction they want to move in which doesn’t mean they won’t have the bad in them. Some toxic manipulative abusers literally can break such good people apart, provoke them and then also have the audacity to call their abrasive reaction as their true reality as if you are too dumb to understand that you reap what you sow. Because they’re good only until they take their stand. Some people literally don’t know how to understand human beings as human beings. If people think being good means they won’t be harsh towards bad people and will entertain any bullshit are absolutely delusional because it’s not the ‘good’ that they are expecting out of a person it’s literally them asking for people to be ‘nice’ 24/7 and supress their reactions that can enable toxic behaviour without any discomfort for manipulative people. Being good is also knowing when to stand against the bullshit even if it includes giving a reality check like a tight slap
To give the devil his due:
Imagine just living with a bug
It would have its…difficulties
I let homie spider chill in the corner.
Out of every different kind of bug, beetles are the least objectionable. Most of them are quite cute, too.
People live with rats and roaches already
Food waste would not truly be waste, for one. Plus, anything possessed of human intelligence might not be that bad. If it's going to harm you for instance, at least you can know it's deliberate.
You deserve way more subs, the editing quality and the depth of analysis in your videos are something I would expect from someone who has 300-500k subs
Thank you! That's very kind
I love how u put subtitles. English isnt my native language so it helps a lot.
Nice. Hotaru profile picture.
@@junitm YOU KNOW SAILOR MOON AND WATCH THIS CHANNEL 0_0
@@witchbetelgeuse Yeah! It's my favorite anime. Also I recently discovered this chanel and i'm fascinated by the content.
I struggle to understand social interaction. Recently I got sick, and also lost a family member. People who were close friends suddenly were angry with me for what seemed like no reason. This really helps me understand. Thank you for this.
I had this happen to me. I was popular among staff at a school I worked at, I bought chocolates from a coworker without knowing they were also selling weed chocolate and vocal about it.I publicly was accused of buying drugs on school grounds. Even though I was found innocent, virtually everyone shunned me afterwards. As a visibly gay man in a conservative setting, I felt like they were looking for a reason to justify their fear of me. I will never trust "good people" again.
thank you Limbus for giving me an oppurtinity to ruin the lives of my future OCs by giving me inspirations
In all my countless hours watching youtube over the last 15 years, I have never encountered a video with subtitles this good. If only these were available on the things that actually require subtitles.
This book was often what I thought about when my mom got diagnosed with alcoholic dementia when I was 21. Now 5 years later she has passed and I think about it even more. There was a sense of relief when she passed and I think my whole family feels guilty about it. We tried everything though, but it’s crazy to watch someone you love change so much and know there isn’t any turning back. Trying to help and do what you can but finding bottles stashed away, having things thrown at you, hearing you’re a terrible daughter. The fear that I would become just like her was so palpable, it felt like looking in a mirror and seeing I was now the beetle myself. Friends tried to help me but I hid away, scared I was becoming unrecognisable too.
I am not really sure where I was going with that but I guess to say I have thought about the Metamorphosis a lot.
Don't feel so guilty. My grandpa had Alzheimer's and he turned aggressive towards the end. He was like a second dad to me when I was a little kid, so seeing him change so much was scary.
But I do think caregiver burn out is very real. There is a difference between wanting to be rid of your loved one because you feel like they are an inconvenience, and feeling relieved that your loved one has passed because you're burned out.
And with a long illness like Alzheimer's, there's also the fact that my grandpa is no longer suffering once he has passed which adds to our relief.
The fact is, loved ones can be a burden, it can be hard to take care of them. But we do it anyway because that's what love is.
But no matter how hard it got, never would we have tried to get rid of my grandpa like Gregor's family tried to get rid of him. I suspect your family feels the same. So you don't have to feel guilty. You loved your mom to the end.
I love Metamorphosis for its inate pessimism. I definitely need to re-read it. The book was a great thought experiment.
I find the book a great way to voice Kafka's perspective that "if you don't nourish me, you have no value." When Gregor failed to provide for his family, his significance reduced. All his previous hardwork for his family was forgotton. And he was treated like someone who doesn't matter, being as insignificant as a "vermin". In fact, Gregor was completely forgotton as if he never really existed which is evident when the death/disappearence of Gregor brings relief to the family.
Kafka did a great job in giving shape to how he and others feel in todays society.
Growing up with multiple disabled siblings the revulsion and fear of strangers was common for our family. That being said the public perception of those that are different has, in our experience, evolved quite a bit in the last 30 years. I firmly believe books like tjis opened that door.
As I'm listening I remember that this is exactly how my grandma felt when she became crippled. There was nothing she could do without falling. I was always scared that she would fall. And deep down, I thought that she should just die. And I know she felt the same. When she died, I was relieved. I don't shame myself for that anymore because it really was for the better. No matter how much we loved or cared for her, she wouldn't feel better. Because she would never feel useful again.
Currently going through homelessness, drug/porn addiction, family abandonment and failing out of college. When you truly feel like an insect you feel like your existence and words poison everything and everyone around you. It really does feel like your death date is postponed and you live completely based on fear. Its a psycopathic lifestyle that requires you to constantly shed your skin, and you only either wish for a quick death or to become more than an insect
Limbus Company, a game created by Project Moon, references this story quite directly. One of the main characters in the game is called Gregor. He is generally an amicable and helpful person, yet he has one trait that stands out quite clearly. His arm is grotesque, appearing quite bug-like in nature, and is the source of mockery from his peers, with the other characters calling him "bug guy". However, the characters history is quite diffrent from the protagonist of the Kafka novel, as his arm is explained to have been a bionic augmentation increasing his combat skill, yet having a freakish apearance and sometimes acting out on its own. This reframes him into a war-vet archatype, being used as a weapon even at 15 years old, then being discarded by society and having to live with the scars of battle for the rest of his life, being shunned from society.
A.K.A my husband
Parts of this book genuinely just felt like my childhood :/ Learned the important life lessons early on I guess 💪Gotta love Kafka for getting me through tough times tho
He is a fantastic author
I loved/hated this book. It feels like my life right now, struggling alcoholic, used to be functional, but here I am, just growing further and more obscene to the people I love, even then, the love is starting to fade, and all I can think of doing is slumbering away the miserable days all alone, while my wound slowly ends me.
stop reading stuff that literally allows you to keep being that way. Grow up
Gregor Limbus
Gregor Limbus
Gregor Limbus
YEEEEAAAAHHHH
scrambled across this,
and it sent a chill down my spine.
had a situation happened in our life where a friend got cheated on but he blamed everyone except the girl for it
he refused to provide a reason, but just said that we weren't his "real friend"
we tried our best to console him and try to calm him down when he came to us the first time around.
but afterward, people around us who weren't as tight knitted came to us and revealed that he was basically shittalking us to them
more nasty stuff started to turn up when we started to dig towards the girl's side and it turned out, he was a total scumbag and a cheat himself who was already trying to get laid within our own friend group, not counting other crimes he did.
everyone from our group basically split apart after the revelation
im just scared that maybe we are the one that abandoned him like the family did to gregor because he turned into a "monster"
maybe if we, or even just me, took his tantrum and put up with it, i'd still be living the happy facade instead of always having this nightmare scenario replayed in my head for years now
yelling into the void like this it made me realize what an ordeal it was and this is probably for the best
@@Ark-ys2up alright, i'll try to get my hand on an audiobook or at least a video essay
turns out we're not the first he did this to as well so it really is not a one time thing and he really is just... that kind of people
This is why we can’t generalize what authors write to everyone - that dude didn’t turn into a beetle, he was literally a scumbag. You were WELL within rights to abandon him and and I’d still call you a good person. You don’t need to stay in toxic situations to be a good person. I hope you’ve found a new friend group now
My experience with self-proclaimed “good” people is they will abandon you the moment you express a “bad” quality, rather than helping you overcome it
Edit: looks like I struck a nerve with the 13 year old Tate fans who think they have everything figured out. To be clear, im not saying it is their responsibility to **FIX** you, thats on you, but it is their duty as friends to help you along and guide you to the right path, not just abandon you because you might shatter their illusion of satisfaction, by that I mean these people aren’t actually happy or good, they are just lying to themselves about it
No one is responsible for fixing you except yourself. Trying to fix other people is a sign of codependency.
It's no one's responsibility to help you overcome a habit. You're the only one who can change you.
@@werewitch9466 i see, so whenever you have a friend going through something you find it appropriate to abandon them because they might bring you down?
@@tortture3519 im not talking about them "fiing" you, im talking about them helping you, like friends are supposed to
..and/or they even will stab you for it
As a child I was taught to never shame or cause to loose face of others. I have lived my life by this value.
came back to this video because i reread metamorphosis today. for the last four years i’ve been suffering with chronic illness and disability and i feel just like gregor. things said in this video felt extremely accurate :(
Suddendly, one day...
...My arm had changed.
Two years ago I was very ill and diagnosed with a rare condition , which made me unable to go to school, I was physically unable to get anything done and my mental health was completely out of whack.
This made me force the hard truth that people and society as a whole, ignores you and shames you for being behind or not fulfilling your role in it. Family, friends,peers , strangers treated me like an outcast, a broken thing that was not useful to society thus not deserving of respect and acknowledgement. (Just to let u know , I am currently at a very good place in life mentally and much better physically than two years prior ).
Only listening to your video and having never read the book, I feel connected with my journey of grief. I lost both my parents pretty closely back to back during the pandemic. Grief and empathy were there in the beginning, but it felt like everyone else moved on so quickly and I felt alone. As my grief turned to depression, it turned to rage, and I isolated myself even further.
I am working to be on the other side of it and recover. To forgive those, who I perceived as distant, but I know somethings can never go back to the ways they were with most people, or myself, or the world.
A captivating concept… this reminds me of the dementia patients I work with. You get to see in real-time how you can be discarded once you become “useless” and or a “burden”. A lot of them end up in nursing homes not knowing why they are there and reenacting memories that were meaningful to them like in childhood, their relationships, or their jobs/careers.
You can’t trust, good people, but you sure as hell can’t trust the bad ones, so don’t trust anyone
That’s not the point, you challenge ppl around you
@@drethegremlin9831 Why did you challenge MFLimited? He made a valid point.
Everyone is my enemy 💀
I think the word you are looking for is rely on not trust
Keep the good ones in your life but observe closely, remove the obvious bad actors. You cant cut everyone out of your life, youll be lonely and miserable
Correction: You can't trust bad people pretending they're good.
Well, you can try it, but . . . I don't recommend it, frankly. 😅
but many people are that bad aren’t they?
though, 1st you need to know they're pretending 😅
My whole family as I’m going through this now
This is just kicking the can down the road though, because then it's simply raises the question as to whether anyone you meet is actually good or just a bad person in diaguise, which is functionally the same thing as saying "you can't trust good people".
This book has helped me understand why I feel so detached from everyone to the point I don’t know how to be close without some type of foundation being built.
I don’t get feeling close to someone based on something like being family.
Thank you for the wonderful insight. This really helps me with my regrets and depression that I’ve recently did on my loved ones by abandoning her. It also teaches me to be more careful when abandoning people in our lives. Because if they loved you, abandoning them will immensely impacted their lives. And i did not realize it until now. Thank you
Somehow this seems to be an allegory on aging, on retiring, on going through a severe depressive episode… you change and the world cannot accept it, people abandon you or are repulsed by your behavior, and then one day you die and they are relieved that you’re no longer their burden.
If you have kids or will have them in the future, make sure to never have fights with your spouse in front of them. My parents had a very turbulent marriage when I was a kid, and I was always the “referee” in their fights, trying to get them to stop.
Their fights were never physical, but they would say the most horrible things to each other, and insult each other’s families, who I loved. It was almost always my mother who caused the fights because I believe she has a lot of childhood trauma also that’s never been addressed. This put me into a constant state of fear that they would have a fight and it would end up in divorce.
I couldn’t imagine my family separating and it felt like a nightmare to imagine only seeing my dad on weekends and not every day like I always had. I was closer to my dad than my mom, as she was often very moody and you would get yelled at over the smallest things.
So that’s my best advice to parents or potential future parents. Solve your issues in private and never in front of your kids. It WILL have a major impact on their lives when they get older.
I think that certain takes and phrasings of this dilemma really add to the paranoia we feel when surrounded by our peers. Not everyone is your friend, true, but that doesn’t mean you can’t trust good people. Get to know people and don’t shut yourself out. You’ll find the ones you sync with and will be there for you.
You, seriously, have one of the most useful channels on this platform. Sure, I love all the mindless entertainment that passes my life by without thought, distracts me from the pain of existence... But your channel makes me think and feel... Your videos are a utility that gently force change - metamorphosis - If we seek it. Thank you for your hard work and dedication to what you find valuable. Your well written scripts on pertinent subject matter are rare, but needed in a world so wrought with distraction. Thank you for not just being another "reaction channel" covering topics that do not enrich a life in turmoil, under these very stressful and demanding circumstances. Thank you for being a light that facilitates growth from lives, struggling to grow, in a world of darkness and obscurity. Thank you.
"And we find our every word judged by people we can't see, by rules we don't know ..."
----- TED ED
suddenly, one day, my arm... had changed
GET OUT
I just want to be like bug guy!
alternative title: most "good people" are not good because they actually have morally good intentions, they act upon what they think makes them a good person.
I remember buying the book but never reading it, but after watching this, I notice a lot of parallels to my life and want to read it now. I'm guessing it's symbolism for having a disability and the effects it has on everything around you.
"Why You Can’t Trust People" There, i fixed it for you.
😂
Well... obviously you can't trust bad people.
Neutral people call for ambivalence, not trust.
It is those we perceive as good who we often assume we are able to trust.
To remove the "good" in the title removes the whole point of the video. That even this narrow sect of humanity is not necessarily trustworthy.
This just shows us that even after 100 years, Kafkas values and views on the world and society have been as important as ever. Timeless literature.
This is why I prefer HONEST people over ''good people'' in life.
Good choice
Thanks for the subtitles and sharing your thoughts about fear, shame and other things that may affect us in a negative way!
Thank you!
I'd honestly love to have you as my philosophy professor, your passion and delivery are great.
Thank you! That’s very kind of you
@@unsolicitedadvice9198 Just stating the truth! I really hope you become big and that you go very far on whatever endeavors you may partake in.
"Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for ..."
Relatable
Wow…thank you. This brought a tear to my eye, can very much relate to the decline Gregor experienced. I am wiser and happier for it now but it took many years to get to this place.
This was the first thing I ever read from Kafka, I remember reading it around christmas and how depreessed it made me feel for a bit.
The metamorphosis can apply to others and they'll treat you as though you're the one who underwent it. Any undesired change or effects they're enduring shall cause others to mistreat you as a result of how they feel.
Self-centered behaviours go both ways. I remember hearing how much of a pain it is living with a aspd relative with a chronic illness, a lot of shame, blame and still endless manipulation.
I just thought of why when a victim of bully fights back, everyone around him chastises his self defense. Because the bully was only this victim's problem... everyone was just a spectator laughing at how week the victim was. Now the bully is everyone's problem. Everyone around him now needs to be very cautious until this bully finds its next victim.
Why does everyone forget the third part of “fight or flight”? It’s actually “fight, flight or freeze”. There is a third option.
I’ve actually heard even more tacked on of late, e.g. “fawn” and “friend” have popped up in recent times or it’s possible I had never heard its correct usage before.
I've heard also "faint" but not "friend" (based on just the name, it sounds similar to "fawn")
you got an uncommonly firm grasp of shame, despair, and fear, and damn do I respect that
Your ability to analyze books is remarkable. Hope you get to review Machiavellian philosophy one day. Particularly the book "the prince." There's a youtuber called "Saint and Sinner," and he did a video deconstructing the book "the prince." It was one of the best analysis I've ever seen. I would love to see your take/interpretation on the book one day. Love your unsolicited advice :D
Thank you! And funnily enough I have a video planned on it but I just don’t think I’ve thought enough about it yet to have anything to say just yet. I will get round to it at some point. I might make a video comparing it to The Art of War, since there are some fun points of similarity and difference
Machiavelli is a loser who not only managed to live and die poor despite his best efforts, but also got tortured in his lifetime. Lesson here is not what he sais but his example, don't be like him :) Marcus Aurelius is another cretin who made Comodus emperor and started the decline of the Roman Empire, although if he done it on purpose some would consider him divine genius, as otherwise being emperor any trash he babbled would've gone as law as divine right can do no wrong... but it goes to prove stoicism does not result in sanity or a better fate but is rather the outcome of a bad fate and the rumigation of one which doesn't sound like happiness to me
If you’re talking about Marquette( Saint and sinner) you shouldn’t. The guy is a scammer. Be careful with his info
machiavellian philosophy is loser philosophy. That guy got tortured and died poor. He was better off at peace being a peasant somewhere. That's because he believed in something false, you can instead fight the government and come better off than a peasant too... my philosophy. Pancho Villa. Lenin. It doesn't matter at all how "smart" you are, if your philosophy is false. So far and always, only God's philosophy is true
@@CoreofShane I don't like the Marquette guy either, but his book analysis is incredible.
What you describe as shame is actually embarrassment, shame is orders of magnitude worse than that. It is a thing that makes you question your own value as a moral being, rather than embarrassment, which is the feeling of losing perhaps a bit of your dignity in the presence of others. Enbarrassment is about how you may be perceived by others, while shame affects how you perceive yourself.
Tbh, me having been an incel this resonates very much with me. How I was treated back then was exactly like that and I thought exactly like that. Nothing changed until I fell in love and really wanted to have a new identity as the future man to my now gf. I completely changed wanting to become the best man I can be no matter what and even if she would say no I know that if I became the man I wanted to be then I would find my future wife and I assume the identity of husband. Altough we are not married and we have only been dating for 2 months, that thought of future wife and future family really guided me to where I wanted.
Hope you have a wonderful life with her 💗
Hey, this is great and I hope things go well, but you need to do and want to do those things for you, not for the sake of someone else. I wish you luck
@@haunted-but-holyyeah the ' 2 months' part has me worried especially considering the intensity of the attachment.
@@ultraboombean oh yeah. As a girl that would scare the hell out of me. Massive red flag, no offense to this guy
I swear to god I was literally thinking about kafka, opened UA-cam and this is the first video to show up wtf
I want to read the book now. This reminds me of a humble young Russian game developer who one day made a popular game and around the same time became addicted to NSFW content, let egotism overcome him and have his server turn into an utterly toxic NSFW-reinforcing cult that someone now wants to expose for how people get treated there. I remember when he was making another game and he used to be more civil and friendly. A bit after people complained about what he did and how he changed, I learnt about NSFW addiction and how it affects millions of people and spreads all over the internet like an unrestricted memetic cognitohazard
I feel like that would be a very easy way to become an insect by accident. And a disease-carrying one, at that
Young man, you'd make an incredibly good teacher. The world needs people like you. I'd go even further to say that some day, you might become a 'professor' of literature, or philosophy. I know this, as I have over 40 years of teaching experience.
When you hear Kafka you think of the profound writer Kafka Franz.
When I hear Kafka I think of the stellaron hunter.
Truly we’re not the same.
I'm so happy young men are still reading Kafka, nietzche, kant and the sort. Lovely video
I found your channel thanks to kafka. You speak very fast and eloquently. English is not my native language, I learned English watching videos like yours.
By the way, love your accent.
3 archetypal wounds: shame, betrayal, abandonment.
Betrayal is the worse one of the three though.
@@lainhikaru5657 I don't know that any one is worse, but I'm no expert in the field. A good source of info is Dr. Mario Martinez, probably the most known of psychoimmunologist.
your videos are so great!
recently I've been fixated on philosophy and literature and your channel is like best thing that could happen to me
honestly you're so underrated with this amazing quality of your videos I hope more people notice your work!!
Thank you! That’s very kind of you to say!
Kafka s metamorphosis was a just a thought provoking tale to me untill i came out to my parents as gay I understood Gregor 's shame and the cruelty he faced
Nice analysis keep it up