Happy Thanksgiving dear Thrivers! 🥧🤗🍂🧡 I do hope this video is helpful as narcissists just love to hoover at holiday time. Lots of love to you and your family on this special day. Mel xox 🦋
Hi Melanie! This video comes just after my Narc. is trying to break our divorce agreement over property. I gave in to my No Contact and texted him. I am so mad at myself for doing this!
Holiday Hoovering season is here! Stay safe thrivers. I’m looking forward to baking my favourite treats, and playing some vintage video games in my blanket fort.
This video is perfect timing for me because I'm going from not so good, to things are getting better. Narcissist love to hoover at this time, to head me of at the pass so to speak. 🙂
Thank you.. I feel so alone on all of this.. My family lives in denial... I have to at times to survive, through the emotion burden.. A lot of things can traumatize people....
The latest hoovering attempt on me was a love bomb, wishing that "love could flow between us." They know that we're loving types and it's a hard one to not be affected by, especially when it's a family member you've known all of your life that you do love in spite of everything.
The last hoovering technique he used after no contact was when his mother was in the hospital and he got a message to me that she had died. She is still alive and doing much better…🤦🏼♀️smh…Narcs will say or do anything to feed off of me and you. He thinks he’s slick but I carry the light of God in me. Blessings All 🙏🏼
this is in perfect timing and- getting many unknown calls now too. so true exactly how it's like it goes with hoovering and as difficult as it is- show all the absurdity . thank you melanie!
You are world class on this subject, I am amazed with each video how smack bang spot on you are with this. I am just so sorry you went through it all too. Just makes your stomach churn what they do, goes against everything you stand for.
I left the Narc after 18 years and a year of hell followed. I have finally moved into my new home with our teenage son and the Narc has sent a good luck card wishing me happiness! Yesterday he watched our son play football and sent me an email saying how proud of our son he is, I haven’t responded, I know really he wanted me to be destroyed. Not sure if it’s a hoover, he knows I would never entertain him anymore.
It's so true that their tactics change depending on the victim's unhealed trauma. Most if my life I was trying prove to my mother I deserve respect and love, and what I got from her has always been contempt, humiliation and violence. But after I went no contact, she called me at least twice a day for almost a year and has sent countless cryptic messages !
Thanks Melanie, for all of your videos. I watch all of them maybe more than once.I would not have known what to do without you and what you do . I am 70 years old, a widow of 48 years. I married a narcissist and after 8 1/2 months he didn’t want to be married. I had no clue what was going on. It’s been almost 3 months no word from him just divorce papers. Thanks for your help.
Wow I might need this. I was just asking what should I do/should I reach out to a couple of narcs who smear campaigned me years ago, who unblocked on social media last year (after I exposed them) 😯😅
It's SO TRUE: The narc can and mostly do - replace us in that time it takes to boil an egg! And for now we have Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year and maybe our Birthdays coming up, beware and take care of Your self and try to resist their hoovering to You. DON'T get into their trick to upset You and stay away of breaking Your No Contact! Never Ever.
Modules 2 & 9 to detox the toxic narcissistic strangers from your person and really break those trauma bonds. Module 8 is for the stalking, harassment and smearing, etc
This is an amazing video. You developed in a way that you covered a lot of material AND you directed us to the correct modules without me having to ask that pesky question. 😆🤦🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
This video was also helpful because of the type of scenario below that I'm dealing with unfortunately. I've got to accept that there is no justice in this world esp not for my group and certainly not in America. This scenario comes from another narc expert but I thought you'd find it interesting. "Said the narcissist to her/himself, "Hmm...she is far too happy. She has far too many friends...She has far too many family members...She smiles too much...She laughs too much...She has far too many social events...She has far too many coworkers...She has far too many acquaintances...She has far too much money...She has far too many options...She has far too many choices...She is far too logical...She is far too healthy...She is far too rational...No, that won't work...I must find a way to control her from the inside out...so that I may destroy her ability to think and feel for herself. I cannot win against her and all of the people she knows..NO, I must methodically seek to divide her from others. I am just one person... My plan will not work without poisoning her mind. There are way too many of her and those like her. Step One, I will make her feel a part of ME and my world. I will compliment her and I will only tell her what she wants to hear. Every woe I will validate, every success I will exaggerate, and soon, she will be a part of MY 'party.' It will be she and I, us and them... Step Two, I will divide and conquer, and cause her to distrust those she trusts. I will rely on gaslighting to cause her to doubt her own mind and soon, she will be begging me to protect her from the ones I have conditioned her to fear. I will lie, distort reality, and profess myself her protector, although all enemies are delusions I create for my own power-hungry appetite. Step Three, I will take her on a roller coaster ride of fear and relief, and then take her on the ride again and again. Trauma bonding with her will destroy her ability to reason and to ever possibly see me as the true enemy. Surely this will dizzy her mind and destroy her self-confidence. In no time, she will leave her job, cut contact with family and friends, and soon she will rely on me for EVERYTHING. Step Four, she lives in fear of all that I say and is submissive to all of my demands. It will not matter that my thinking is delusional, nonsensical, and is not based on logic or rationale...NO...I have turned her into a dis-eased being, paralyzed by fear, and who is unable to think beyond the mind I have so masterfully scattered. Game over...I win...I am the RULER of this kingdom and I have won." Narcissism exists in the kitchen and it also exists in the boardroom as well as in society at large. Awaken Dear One...and know fear arrests you and love will set you free... By all means, LET GO, BUT never fail to deprogram and then reprogram your mind, so that one day, you are free from covert as well as overt tyranny, both on the personal and global level."
I send indirect cryptic messages because my narcissistic will blast me for approaching an issue at all but the pretend there is no problem and I am crazy if I am upset. So I send messages that make it clear that we still have unresolved problems... It's a trap that is working because they now can't gaslight me not can they play their usual tricks because then they would open the door for me for once be on the offensive if they try one thing or say anything.
This is a situation where it is a parent whoo is trying to set the precedent to have control of grandchildren one day (they don't care about me).. I am preparing so I can distance myself from this person before I ever have children.
Mine made up load of lies say I got sack for something which utter bxxx sxxx. I left cos there was another narc and I knew what there like . I ran a mile! Absolute ludicrous . Where they get weird lies . Beyond me .
Last one is like when the prey falsely assumes because the predator isn't killing it its somehow magically changed. It's only not killing it straight away because the prey knows it can't get away due to it being a baby or sick etc etc.
Narcs will never actually discuss what they did to you or share in your pain, which is obviously damage from their abusive tactics, they will say; “I’m so sorry, you were right and I was wrong, please forgive me!” Even if you ask them what they are most sorry for, they will say; “everything!” If you take them back and see the new mask slip they will instantly do the exact opposite of what they promised and they will do it I. A way to make sure others share in the mistreatment to embarrass you more.
@@d.h.fremont3027 they get off on watching their victims squirming around like fish out of water. That control is like a drug to them and their monkeys.
@@d.h.fremont3027 absolutely true! I was just sitting here, driving down the road about to hit my 16th hr of work today, reflecting on how good I feel despite having had to chain up and spent most of those hours in -0 degree temps. It hit me that I am actually very happy alone and have been for well over a decade. Now the Narc on the other hand…she needs constant validation and sex from men, different men all the time and she also spends all of her time off entertaining her drinking partners and drunken boss, mostly the bar life. She’s also always got guys playing fill in daddy to her 5 year old daughter and never can be alone for more than a few minutes. As you said…they do not treasure freedom. They live chaos and using and abusing people, places and situations. I love the freedom I have by not ushering in a new woman every other month. Heck I don’t even like the obligation that comes with having all those connections draining me of my precious energy.
The amount of upselling in this is unreal. I understand you are sharing this as funnel content into your course, but it’s starting to feel predatory. I swear you mentioned your program about as many hovering tactics exist. Are you also behaving then as a narcissist by being manipulative and PUSHY? “You can heal yourself! But only with my course.” You have good information and yes I understand upselling, but in every single tactic?! I guess our pain is nothing but a dollar sign to you as you dangle the carrot of “healing.” How could I trust someone like that enough to take their course?
Happy Thanksgiving dear Thrivers! 🥧🤗🍂🧡
I do hope this video is helpful as narcissists just love to hoover at holiday time.
Lots of love to you and your family on this special day.
Mel xox 🦋
Hi Melanie! This video comes just after my Narc. is trying to break our divorce agreement over property. I gave in to my No Contact and texted him. I am so mad at myself for doing this!
Holiday Hoovering season is here! Stay safe thrivers. I’m looking forward to baking my favourite treats, and playing some vintage video games in my blanket fort.
Yup! Sure is.. and I got my hoover just like clockwork.😏
This video is perfect timing for me because I'm going from not so good, to things are getting better. Narcissist love to hoover at this time, to head me of at the pass so to speak. 🙂
Thank you.. I feel so alone on all of this.. My family lives in denial... I have to at times to survive, through the emotion burden.. A lot of things can traumatize people....
The latest hoovering attempt on me was a love bomb, wishing that "love could flow between us." They know that we're loving types and it's a hard one to not be affected by, especially when it's a family member you've known all of your life that you do love in spite of everything.
The last hoovering technique he used after no contact was when his mother was in the hospital and he got a message to me that she had died. She is still alive and doing much better…🤦🏼♀️smh…Narcs will say or do anything to feed off of me and you. He thinks he’s slick but I carry the light of God in me.
Blessings All 🙏🏼
this is in perfect timing and- getting many unknown calls now too. so true exactly how it's like it goes with hoovering and as difficult as it is- show all the absurdity . thank you melanie!
You are world class on this subject, I am amazed with each video how smack bang spot on you are with this. I am just so sorry you went through it all too. Just makes your stomach churn what they do, goes against everything you stand for.
Ditto. Melanie is World Class on this matter
We love her 🐳🎄
I left the Narc after 18 years and a year of hell followed. I have finally moved into my new home with our teenage son and the Narc has sent a good luck card wishing me happiness! Yesterday he watched our son play football and sent me an email saying how proud of our son he is, I haven’t responded, I know really he wanted me to be destroyed. Not sure if it’s a hoover, he knows I would never entertain him anymore.
It's so true that their tactics change depending on the victim's unhealed trauma. Most if my life I was trying prove to my mother I deserve respect and love, and what I got from her has always been contempt, humiliation and violence. But after I went no contact, she called me at least twice a day for almost a year and has sent countless cryptic messages !
This was one of the most helpful videos ever Mel - loved the solutions with the modules
Thank you Melanie, just had someone pop up. This is so timely.
Thanks Melanie, for all of your videos. I watch all of them maybe more than once.I would not have known what to do without you and what you do . I am 70 years old, a widow of 48 years. I married a narcissist and after 8 1/2 months he didn’t want to be married. I had no clue what was going on. It’s been almost 3 months no word from him just divorce papers. Thanks for your help.
Wow I might need this. I was just asking what should I do/should I reach out to a couple of narcs who smear campaigned me years ago, who unblocked on social media last year (after I exposed them) 😯😅
I like this: Getting 'hoover-proof'.
It's SO TRUE: The narc can and mostly do - replace us in that time it takes to boil an egg!
And for now we have Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year and maybe our Birthdays coming up, beware and take care of Your self and try to resist their hoovering to You.
DON'T get into their trick to upset You and stay away of breaking Your No Contact! Never Ever.
Thank you melanie another great video
Modules 2 & 9 to detox the toxic narcissistic strangers from your person and really break those trauma bonds. Module 8 is for the stalking, harassment and smearing, etc
This is an amazing video. You developed in a way that you covered a lot of material AND you directed us to the correct modules without me having to ask that pesky question. 😆🤦🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
This video was also helpful because of the type of scenario below that I'm dealing with unfortunately. I've got to accept that there is no justice in this world esp not for my group and certainly not in America. This scenario comes from another narc expert but I thought you'd find it interesting. "Said the narcissist to her/himself,
"Hmm...she is far too happy. She has far too many friends...She has far too many family members...She smiles too much...She laughs too much...She has far too many social events...She has far too many coworkers...She has far too many acquaintances...She has far too much money...She has far too many options...She has far too many choices...She is far too logical...She is far too healthy...She is far too rational...No, that won't work...I must find a way to control her from the inside out...so that I may destroy her ability to think and feel for herself. I cannot win against her and all of the people she knows..NO, I must methodically seek to divide her from others. I am just one person...
My plan will not work without poisoning her mind. There are way too many of her and those like her.
Step One, I will make her feel a part of ME and my world. I will compliment her and I will only tell her what she wants to hear. Every woe I will validate, every success I will exaggerate, and soon, she will be a part of MY 'party.' It will be she and I, us and them...
Step Two, I will divide and conquer, and cause her to distrust those she trusts. I will rely on gaslighting to cause her to doubt her own mind and soon, she will be begging me to protect her from the ones I have conditioned her to fear. I will lie, distort reality, and profess myself her protector, although all enemies are delusions I create for my own power-hungry appetite.
Step Three, I will take her on a roller coaster ride of fear and relief, and then take her on the ride again and again. Trauma bonding with her will destroy her ability to reason and to ever possibly see me as the true enemy. Surely this will dizzy her mind and destroy her self-confidence. In no time, she will leave her job, cut contact with family and friends, and soon she will rely on me for EVERYTHING.
Step Four, she lives in fear of all that I say and is submissive to all of my demands. It will not matter that my thinking is delusional, nonsensical, and is not based on logic or rationale...NO...I have turned her into a dis-eased being, paralyzed by fear, and who is unable to think beyond the mind I have so masterfully scattered.
Game over...I win...I am the RULER of this kingdom and I have won."
Narcissism exists in the kitchen and it also exists in the boardroom as well as in society at large.
Awaken Dear One...and know fear arrests you and love will set you free...
By all means, LET GO, BUT never fail to deprogram and then reprogram your mind, so that one day, you are free from covert as well as overt tyranny, both on the personal and global level."
I send indirect cryptic messages because my narcissistic will blast me for approaching an issue at all but the pretend there is no problem and I am crazy if I am upset.
So I send messages that make it clear that we still have unresolved problems...
It's a trap that is working because they now can't gaslight me not can they play their usual tricks because then they would open the door for me for once be on the offensive if they try one thing or say anything.
This is a situation where it is a parent whoo is trying to set the precedent to have control of grandchildren one day (they don't care about me)..
I am preparing so I can distance myself from this person before I ever have children.
It is my way of saying you refuse to participate in resolving issues.
And
I refuse to be gaslighted.
Thank you 😊 💓
Tactic 4 was used over Easter. Didn't fall for it. I kept on healing and stayed in my power I'm never gonna give up. They aren't my reality anymore.
Great video Melanie!!!!! This is one of your best!!!!! Thanks for sharing!!!!!
100% all Hoovers had been tried - due to NARP I was not engaging … it’s just insanity…
Mine made up load of lies say I got sack for something which utter bxxx sxxx. I left cos there was another narc and I knew what there like . I ran a mile! Absolute ludicrous . Where they get weird lies . Beyond me .
Last one is like when the prey falsely assumes because the predator isn't killing it its somehow magically changed.
It's only not killing it straight away because the prey knows it can't get away due to it being a baby or sick etc etc.
Narcs will never actually discuss what they did to you or share in your pain, which is obviously damage from their abusive tactics, they will say; “I’m so sorry, you were right and I was wrong, please forgive me!” Even if you ask them what they are most sorry for, they will say; “everything!” If you take them back and see the new mask slip they will instantly do the exact opposite of what they promised and they will do it I. A way to make sure others share in the mistreatment to embarrass you more.
This is putting you on a leash and keeping you there. Control.
@@d.h.fremont3027 they get off on watching their victims squirming around like fish out of water. That control is like a drug to them and their monkeys.
@@lil--mo2025 because they don't treasure freedom.
@@d.h.fremont3027 absolutely true! I was just sitting here, driving down the road about to hit my 16th hr of work today, reflecting on how good I feel despite having had to chain up and spent most of those hours in -0 degree temps. It hit me that I am actually very happy alone and have been for well over a decade. Now the Narc on the other hand…she needs constant validation and sex from men, different men all the time and she also spends all of her time off entertaining her drinking partners and drunken boss, mostly the bar life. She’s also always got guys playing fill in daddy to her 5 year old daughter and never can be alone for more than a few minutes.
As you said…they do not treasure freedom. They live chaos and using and abusing people, places and situations.
I love the freedom I have by not ushering in a new woman every other month. Heck I don’t even like the obligation that comes with having all those connections draining me of my precious energy.
Your Instagram id is not available. Is something wrong
Yea..I noticed that too
@@shipratrika2586 Yes Instagram id was more helpful. So may be I will wait
The amount of upselling in this is unreal. I understand you are sharing this as funnel content into your course, but it’s starting to feel predatory. I swear you mentioned your program about as many hovering tactics exist. Are you also behaving then as a narcissist by being manipulative and PUSHY? “You can heal yourself! But only with my course.” You have good information and yes I understand upselling, but in every single tactic?! I guess our pain is nothing but a dollar sign to you as you dangle the carrot of “healing.” How could I trust someone like that enough to take their course?