I hope men would take more responsabilities in the matter. I know women can be abusing, but its really more common for men to beat their spouse. So many times, people around the abusing men (like his friends) knew he had a problem with violence, but did nothing. These women, like you say, are victims, and in fear for their life (and they are right, because too man get killed after they leave the abusing soupe). They shouldnt be the solution for this to end.
@@mireillep.8599 at first I had trouble understanding what you were saying but now I think I have a clear idea and I agree. People need to hold their friends and family to a higher standard and oush for them to get help or change their ways when they are aware that the person in question has issues or worrying behaviour. Is usually say that loyalty does not equal friendship, no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes and it is only the best of friends who will call eachother out on their BS. That of course translates to more extreme situations like these.
Why the hell is it up to the victim to decide whether charges are pressed or dropped??! Cases like these are of public interest, since these men are violent
It really irritates me that the abused women have such a fear of being on their own, or decide they "love" the abuser and drop charges! Get therapy and get brave enough to leave when you have a chance!!!!
@@vickimorgan2961 It's not as easy as you think. Many of these women come from abusive homes and they don't know what healthy love is supposed to look like. People gravitate to what's familiar to them, it makes them feel like they're in control, especially if they were traumatized in their childhood. Many, many people live like this. Men, women, people of other genders and sexualities. Trauma damages your brain in physical and chemical ways too, just look at brain scans between people with PTSD and/or depression vs people without. I understand how you feel, it annoys me too. It's easy to get annoyed at the victim because you are angry the situation is happening, but the abuser is too dangerous to confront so many people default to the victim because they want someone to blame. That's why we have Emergency Services and psychology professionals, who can make those tough decisions for people who can't do so on their own.
Literally the same bullshit I used to say. If he was a nice guy when sober he wouldn't keep putting her in that position AKA do something about his drinking problem
As the daughter of someone everyone said that about, yeah… it’s such BS. The worst (and only) times he physically attacked me personally were when he wasn’t drunk. It’s a control problem, not a drinking problem.
@@TastefullySalty Unfortunately that happens more often than not. People will be hospitalized over and over and still protect their attacker, because they fear them and often also love them and are made to feel like whatever they did (Things like existing and another guy looking at them.) brought on whatever violence they endured. It's a heartbreaking cycle.
@TastefullySalty not really. Part of the cycle of abuse is the victim convincing themselves that it won't happen again, the abuser will change, they(the victim) just has to do better, ect
You are right. People don't realize but it's common. It's also an act. The monster is the real them. Alcohol is just the excuse and makes them bold. I know. I had a monster of my own. Ending it was the best decision ever. Im glad there's more education today so people can learn the red flags. It sounds like you are also familiar. I hope you are safe.
@MsLilBit8344 I think for many addicts/alcoholic people this is not true, there are different types of people that can be addicts. and they are in fact not a monster addiction is a very complex disease and most people use due to trauma. But I do agree that some people are just bad people and just like getting high and are bad high or not but there are plenty of amazing people who became addicted and in turn lost themselves. The guy in this situation was very complicated and im sure your situation was as well. Hope you are well
That’s something my mom would always say about my father. He’s an alcoholic and would verbally abuse her and would make her cry and fight her all the time. She has fortunately divorced him but I don’t think I have recovered from him. I’m 11(female) and when I have to go to my dad’s I always hate it. I remember when I was 9 and I would hear them fighting a lot. I remember one fight they had I ran to my brothers and said “ I think mom and dad are getting a divorce” while sobbing my eyes out and when they stopped fighting my mom came upstairs and promised me she wouldn’t divorce him. When she did, my dad manipulated me and my brothers into thinking she was the bad one. Now that I know the whole story it breaks my heart my mom had to deal with all that. There is also a bunch of other stuff that happened but I won’t tell to save your time
it's because abusers seek out people who are often insecure and non assertive. they love bomb them on purpose, and that's often why victims stay, because they can't make sense of how the lovely person they fell in love with somehow turned into this. they're also scared of what the abusers will do if they leave. it's a vicious cycle.
@@alsoknownasallisonFacts. I am a DV survivor myself. My ex met me when i had it all. Confidence etc. He saw me as a perfect pray to totally break down. And he did, slowly. But i got away thank God.
@@NewFFplayer2024 She was the one in the apartment that the neighbors called and told them they thought someone was being killed in the apartment. They were sitting in the golf cart when they police caught up with them.
the way Kyla was scared to admit she was getting abused by her boyfriend and then one month later she wa smurdered its just so b=heart breaking . All these women deserve the best
Even after they kill someone, their families will still defend them and enable their dangerous behavior. Because their little angel can't do any wrong in their eyes. They create these violent monsters and then expect the rest of us to deal with them. This is why I fight so hard to educate people about Narcs, DV and Safety Escape plans!
Not even a month later he killed his girlfriend. Not surprised. You could tell there was something going on she was either scared to talk or just too drunk to care
the way my heart dropped when it said only one month later Kyla arce was killed. Broke my heart. She cared enough to not tell the police and she got murdered poor girl.
@@nasmx1692 they have to do that when someone comes too close to the scene to keep everyone safe, she wasn't being arrested. it would be very scary though.
@@nasmx1692 It's protocol, being handcuffed doesn't always mean you are being arrested, sometimes it's just to detain you for the moment. They probably moved her away from the scene, made sure she was just a neighbor and had no involvement in the crime, and then uncuffed her.
It was interesting that the dad in the first case said he didn't want to talk to his son, while the grandfather was willing to immediately go to bat for him in a rather sh*tty way. He (the dad) seemed to be the only family member who fully believed his son threatened the young woman and had no interest in defending a guilty person, regardless of the fact that they were related. You could tell he was just done, you know?
@@brianbadonde9251 knew he was guilty and knew the grandpa was bogus for defending him, especially what he did. Why is he ignoring swat and why did the girl who came out lie about his presence in the house if he was being framed it would not have gone like that
the son's girlfriend defended him as well, saying she set the whole thing up. I think they are just trying to keep him out of trouble. seems like he was having conversations with other people while swat was outside. Grandpa just didnt think of that on the spot, nor did the son's girlfriend, I would check his phone records to show he was lying about being asleep as well.
@MarneStorm no one fucking cares about your tribe. The police didn't arrest this man because he wasn't white, but because someone accused him of threatening with murder. What the actual fuck do you want the police to do? Go away because grandpa says "well she's white"? Are you really that dense? No one can be that dumb.
Normally I'm with you, but this case is strange. Grandpa, that one girl (sister?) and the dude give the same story. Also being an alcoholic is a good excuse for not noticing someone is smashing doors and windows (I know this my neighbor was one and his stereo systems volume knob had loose contact). Was it a setup, if so how much of it? His gun or only threatening with knife? Either way nothing we should pick sides quickly on.
@@L3v3LLIPI agree, it's hard to tell so can't jump to conclusions. But, the family members all sharing the same story really doesn't mean much. Abusers are very good at setting themselves up as the victim to everyone around them. My brother is abusive and manipulative and he has many family members that will swear black and blue that everything is his partner and ex's fault. There is a "protect the family no matter what" type of mentality in a lot of abuse cases. You wouldn't believe the stuff that family members will turn a blind eye to or even validate. It's disgusting.
@@L3v3LLIP If He's an Alc0h0lic, i mean, like, would he even remember half the stuff He says and does? And giving the same story doesn't give much, especially if the Family isn't seeing what He may or may not be doing. He could be doing all these things and just lying to His Family. And, well, in many cases I've seen and well, just in general, the Family either A) Doesn't know it's Happening and just Believes what their Family Member is saying and even stays in denial even when Proof is Shown or B) They Do know and know their Family Member is lying, but don't care, only caring about their Family Member way more than the Person they're hurting. I just doubt it's set up. The one Family Member Guy's disappointed expression when He heard that one part, even with the defending later, you can clearly tell that He didn't believe that was a planted set up by the Man's Girlfriend. So.
The way he automatically assumes she's cheating when he's the one who said there was someone in the apartment, not her, and hence that accusation makes no sense. You could tell he was ready to attack his girlfriend at every moment he could.
They say it takes at least 7 attempts before a victim will leave a violent situation. However, leaving is when the victim is most vulnerable to escalated violence from the perpetrators.
Third time for me. He was astonished. Couldn't believe I possible meant it. I moved very very far away. Across an ocean. That was twenty years ago. He's still stalking me and my daughter. He remarried and had another child. But he STILL stalks us. That rage. That fury over our "disobedience", over his loss of control, it still, apparently, enrages him.
The fact that people are getting more likes blaming Kyla than this comment is just infuriating. And obviously I know likes aren’t everything and don’t REALLY matter in real life, but it still tells us something.
nah see you dont understand what he's saying. 12 is the identification of the police in the streets. so he was saying you are 12 (the police code) not 12 yrs old. Tyler was spittin bars and you didnt even catch it
"One month later he killed his girlfriend" Guys, I understand it's hard to leave. But when the police is right there and trying to help, PLEASE take that exit for your own sake. Since "I understand it's hard" doesn't seem to get through to some people, I KNOW IT'S HARD. I'm very well aware it's a situational thing with a bunch of individual risks and I'm sorry y'all apparently need it spelled out
sadly it's not that easy, by the point police is involved abusers already have so much control over you. also police being involved often doesn't help at all, it just makes it worse.
It’s *NOT* that easy. Even with the police’s help and a restraining order in place. That piece of paper is not bullet proof & neither are the police. I know a woman who tried to leave and her man shot at the cops, then went on the run, 5 days later he showed up in the middle of the night and broke in thru a tunnel he had been digging under their home, he abducted her and she was found dead 3 states away on the side of a rural desolate road. She left behind 3 kids and was pregnant for her 4th & 5th. I had an ex I was terrified of. He beat me so bad he caused a miscarriage. His uncle was a cop and they LAUGHED at me. Telling me “you caused your own child to die, you shouldn’t have been here if he was that dangerous” I was a fucking scared teenager, and that BF *NEVER* should have been with me, he was *ten years older* and that made *HIM* a sexual predator
It really isn't that easy. I called the police on my ex boyfriend when he went into a violent rage and started breaking things, throwing them around while threatening to hurt me. When the police came they just laughed at me and didn't take it seriously because I'm a man. They made jokes the entire time and clearly weren't understanding the severity of his aggression. I told them I wanted to press charges and they said it wasn't necessary because he wasn't actively hurting me and said that since I'm a man, it would be easy for me to just pack my stuff and leave. They left and my ex's rage only escalated, and he got physical with me. I have scars from having a glass bottle thrown at me and from where he tried to stab me. Sometimes the police can be so incompetent when it comes to domestic violence. And when victims lie to protect their abuser it's because they know if they say something that makes them look bad, the abuse will only escalate and get worse. That's why abuse victims have to be extremely careful when they plan how they are going to leave. Because if their abuser finds out they intend on leaving or pressing charges against them, the victim is as good as dead.
sadly it’s not. i stayed for longer than i should have because i was scared the police weren’t going to help me. i’m a women that’s dates women but i dress in men’s clothing for my comfort. i was lucky she decided to leave and stop “loving” me because i was scared to get help.
A reminder about why abuse victims stay/keep coming back: Several reasons. One, it's not bad all the time. The highs are so wonderful that you second guess the lows. Two, they break you down and isolate you from anybody who could identify what was going on. Three, they have a pattern that they follow: pretend to need help/lovebomb the victim, hurt the victim, fake apologies, repeat. Victims are hurt and manipulated back. I'd recommend looking into the DARVO cycle of abuse. Sincerely, an abuse overcomer
@GrumpyMeow-Meow it's taken a lot of healing, but I am in a significantly better place! Thank you for caring, you wonderful soul! I'm sending the best vibes your way, friend.
24:13 1. The kids sitting so calmly while that big ass man is punching the door is so sad and scary, and 2. The fact the taser can’t put down those big men is even scarier!
@@warp302 Nah Tasers aren't as effective as you think they are. Especially on higher mass individuals, he ate that like it was nothing you can see him twitching a bit from the electricity but big boy ate it like it was nothing. Had a buddy who worked as an electrician that would run a quality taser up and down his body to show that you can still function. most people just drop from the unexpected shock, but if you are in fight or flight or mentally prepared it doesn't actually physically lock you up to the point where you can't break through it with willpower
people freeze in the face of violence, never expect passers by to get up and intervene, the best you can hope for is for them to call the police.. but you have to INSIST they do that.. the learned reflex of looking away and not moving so as not to attract the monster's attention, is obvioulsy very widespread these days..
As someone who grew up like this, always being controlled and threatened, hearing things like "He's a good person", "he's just ill/sick", "He's just addicted" all of that breaks my heart. And especially hearing "I don't want him to get into trouble"
I hate it when they make excuses for their abusers or defend them and not only abuse women defend men that cheats on them and they make excuses too. And it is annoying
@ParisMahone-z8s They're scared of getting hurt. I can see why it's upsetting but you never know what people say behind closed doors. He could've said that he'll kill her if she says anything. Also it goes both ways too.
That racist grandfather probably beats his wife and probably the suspect when he was a child too. That’s where the POS gets it from, he thinks this behavior is ok.
Right?? Like I am a full believer that people of color and other minority communities are more likely to be profiled and convicted of crimes they didn't commit. As much as we try to avoid it, humans have biases against others. And this bias can affect the arresting officers, the judges, and the juries. But in this case?? Be so serious. There is absolutely nothing in this case that indicates race was a factor. And you're exactly right. He's telling that to a black cop lol.
I mean it’s not that wild, there’s just as many cases when that has been true. But in this case that mf was threatening that poor women’s life and her daughter,
The second guy drove me nuts after a second of talking. I love the officer saying ''You are doing a great job'' after he cannot even manage to start recording.
That Paul Henrey one is terrifying and lowkey gave me chills. Seeing the girlfriend try to insist she's okay and nothing was wrong, just to die so soon after police gave her the chance to get help is so tragic ):
yeah... the fact domestic violence happens is only because one partner is emotionally dependant of that person, and yea, they try to deffend their loved ones even though they are aggressive and such, its really sad
@@nekobread2939 if they don’t, their abuser could kill them. It’s them trying their best to survive the only way they know how. It also means replacing that fear with love.
@@jadelee6555 I used to think those girls were stupid as well, until I were one of them when you really love someone and you are... *literally* mentally ill, in deep emotional dependence, you will always defend that person, no matter what terrible things they've been doing this can happen because of some major depression and self steem problems, I can only feel bad for her soul
@@davidyt646 Mr. King's message lives in the majority. As long as all shades keep that message with them, we will all be fine. Just remember, Grandpa is the old generation and we dont listen to them anymore because of that kinda attitude.
I know you’re using internet terms, but try to remember that saying things like “unalive” trivialize the situation. She was murdered. There’s no cutesy or “advertisement friendly” way to say it. She was killed. She died. Try to keep words like “unalive” only to when you’re making a video on TikTok and trying to avoid your video getting banned. I just say this because if this were my mom, sister, etc. and I read someone calling it something as silly sounding as unalived I’d be pissed. We need to call this guy what he is, a murderer, not an unaliver.
@@Exhaustedeveryday_ Yeah I think a lot of people forget that the only reason TikTokers started using those terms was to avoid censorship. There’s a time and place to use it, but off of TikTok (especially on a channel like this one) is not it. Like just keep it to when absolutely necessary and even then just say something like “her boyfriend took her life”. It’s still being respectful and true to the situation at hand, while not as likely to be picked up by censoring bots. (Ugh sorry I could go on about this shit forever)
@@Wurstbrot4life I don't comment on UA-cam often. I wasn't sure if they were stingy about "murder" and "killed" etc. Since a lot of youtubers censor the words in their videos. I wasn't trying to be disrespectful
Weird but true, I had a bad feeling when the cops said that she was heard crying out, "help." I thought, now that he knows that, next time he will not give her a chance to cry out.
I immediately thought of this “What do you want to eat tonight?l “Idk what do you want to eat tonight?” “Idk thats why I asked you.” “Well I don’t know either.” “You have to know something.” “No I don’t” “I can’t think of anything!” (A few minutes of bickering until they just decided on mashed potatoes and Mac & cheese)
Yes, bumping into an officer, or even laying a finger on them, legally constitutes assaulting an officer (An officer has an entire arsenal of weapons on their belt that a suspect can grab and use against them). If you touch or bump into an officer during an altercation, they are taking you down. Afterwards, the bodycam footage ends up on youtube. Then millions of working class Americans, who are tired from a long day of work, decide to unwind by watching UA-cam videos. They come across the viral video of you getting arrested, and they are amused and entertained at your expense.
Honestly I'm glad they got him for that. He was definitely going to hurt that girl if they had just left after hearing her screaming at him to leave her alone. I hope she's doing better
RIP Kyla Arce. You didn’t deserve what you went through. You were abused. You were in danger. He did the unimaginable and deserved the punishment. I’m sorry. May you have a life in peace and harmony up above. Amen. May all of our love be with you! ❤
As a retired Flight Attendant, it's time to get rid of bars in airports. They're not malls, nor should they ever look like a street lined with bars. Imagine if this idiot's peak of crazy drunkeness hit him while the plane was in-flight? It could've ended in disaster. It takes a long time for a plane to divert and descend for landing.
No. The government cannot infringe on privately owned entities’ operations. And other individuals and businesses shouldn’t have limitations based on the wrongful acts of others.
@@hollyharrison1377 Drunks shouldn't be allowed to infringe on the rights of the other souls on board an aircraft along with them. One belligerent drunk can ruin a flight with a few people on board on up to over 400 people.
22:25 some fantastic advice from this female officer. This is the importance of having female officers. You have the men outside dealing with that nutjob, but having another officer deal with this lady calmly and rationally is huge.
Police didnt take my calls seriously when i said my partner was threatening me, himself, and others. My ex later went to prison for attacking a neighbor with a machete because the neighbor told him to calm down. Officers need to take it seriously and investigate.
This happened to me too, I called the police when my boyfriend lashed out and started making threats towards me. The police just laughed at me and told me it wasn't serious because we were both men. They told me they couldn't arrest him since he wasn't physically hurting me. After they left, my ex was angry that I called the police on him and tried to kill me that night. So yeah, anyone who says it's easy to leave need to get their heads checked. Because I did everything I was supposed to do by calling the police and trying to get him arrested, just for them to turn a blind eye to it and allow him to hurt me even more. 🤷♂️
Unfortunately, I hear a lot that the police ignore these threats. I can’t understand why. If you call them every time you and your boyfriend are having arguments, ok that’s understandable but when you call them only when you really feel in danger then they need to take action immediately. We had a similar issue with a crazy tenant who lived in our basement and would pick the locks and come into our house, move things to leave things around. Police told me she is not physically hurting us and we are just calling after getting her money and now we want to kick her out! My husband had to come up with a plan just to kick her out peacefully because no one listened to us. Your situation was even more dire and I’m baffled that they ignored you.
@@noway377beyond fucked up. another reason why ppl stand so strongly behind ACAB. they just won’t do anything unless there’s 1 irrefutable evidence you where physically hurt or 2 the abuser is actively chasing you with a weapon. with stalkers as well, „oh they are sending you threats daily, stand for hours in front of your house even though they have a restraining order? but have they hurt you yet? no? oh well nothing we can do.“ if they’re generous they talk with them. as if that would stop someone who’s already going so far as to threaten you.
The irony of the dude in the second situation saying "stop calling me bro, this a professional conversation". He had been saying bro the whole time lol, drunk people are on next level stupidity.
did you miss his whole charade? hes evil and shrewd af...watch it again...hes being annoying on purpose so cops wouldnt want to deal with im...hes taking 20 mins to start recording...being annoying...he wants the cops to just give up and go "w.e lets go" and hes trying to bait them the whole time to get angry and smart with him ....as this gives him reason to go back inside...he literally i think three times did the whole "you made me mad bye" and this gave him a reason to go inside and start like phycologically threatening the gf to stay or w.e ...the police caught him doing it the last two time...he would get the cops mad and then play victim and try to pout and walk in...and the last two time cops seen thru it and stopped him and he even had a grin on his face...like fk i can't get away with this anymore...like he was doing it on purpose...evil ass ,mfer...all to go in to prevent his gf from leaving...good thing the gf tried while the cops were still close by ...cause first time he almost got them to leave ...hes pretty fucking shrewd for a drunk guy...evil af
Man I don't miss being in an abusive relationship that's for sure ... Also I love how they said you're acting 12 and the best comeback he had was no you're 12 😂 THATS LITERALLY SOMETHING A 12 YEAR OLD WOULD SAY .
That's Unfortunately what happens with @buse V1ct1m$. They get Manipulated too much. Hurt, then a fake apology, then love-bombing, then it starts over. That's why Some States have put in Place that that Victim Can't Drop Charges in Domestic Relationships(like, living together), it's for the Safety of the Victim. It should be put in all States. It would be especially good for the Men who are Victims, because the Stigma of actually Reporting. If it comes up. Victims should always be Protected and just Take Their Partner away when they can.
@@Hana.Behl-Lecter Which that's why some States Charge them Regardless of what the Partner wants. I wish all States did that, it would save so many people..
I worked for 20+ years in the ER, and I can tell you that no matter how hard you try to save women (and men, honestly), if they won't press charges, there's nothing you can do. It doesn't matter if they have clinical signs of being choked, or broken bones, or having been beaten within an inch of their life. Doesn't really matter if the cops have evidence in a lot of cases, especially when the abused doesn't want to press charges ... if the abused doesn't want to press charges, there's nothing anyone can do on their behalf. Not the City, the County, or the State unless some charge extends beyond domestic violence, like someone on probation having a gun, or whatever else can just squeak by the domestic into the state/city/county laws. That needs to change. If there is probable cause, then the presumed offender should be charged by the state independent of the wishes of the abused. That's because the abused has been manipulated, or are afraid, or afraid of being alone even (and they'd rather have an abuser in their life than try to go it alone ... NO KIDDING). Allowing a situation where the law can't stop something because the adult abused won't press charges or even be honest out of fear and it results in murder??? Come ON. Something has to change.
I guess it depends on the state because in many videos like this that I’ve watched, the officers say that their hands are tied and an arrest has to be made if there are physical signs of injury. Even if the victim insists that they don’t want the abuser arrested.
What you said about the abuser being charged with assault regardless of the victim’s refusal to press charges should ABSOLUTELY be a thing. You probably have seen it all being a nurse. ❤ keep up the good work! Unrelated, but you are really well spoken. You worded it very well 👍🏻
You're absolutely right. Regardless of if the victim wants to press charges or not. Fear keeps a lot of evil people on the streets. They should face time regardless.
Reading about Kyla's death sent shivers down my spine, its sad to see such cases still on going, i hope people find relief from these troubles and predators. Fly high, Kyla 🕊️
Justice for Kyla Arce, that ending was shocking and devastating to hear, we just watched this whole body cam footage unfold of this girl and then at the end we r told she was killed a month later.
@@DaRealEazesame can be said about pitbulls. THEY ARE aggressive and mean AND kill, but yall wanna downplay that cause a couple people said they have "good dogs" annoy that dog enough, it will snap and kill someone.
I think she resigned herself to just giving up. I sensed it when she was talking with the officer. She was so deep in her addiction, I don't think she cares what happened to her.
Even if she was an addict alot of women or men whom are abused battle with addiction to numb the pain of being abused some people don't have anywhere to go to escape their abusers because they're often isolated and lose family and friends the cycle of abuse is much more complex than most think it is it's not easy to leave or get out it's really not that simple I escaped my abuser when I was 20 he still financially has control over my life it's not that simple folks. Stay blessed.
@@DaRealEazei wouldnt say she caused it, you don’t just except your bf to kill you even if they’re abusive, murder isn’t expected, seems like she jus gave up trying to leave honestly :(
There was a crazy couple fighting in the apetments behind mine once. The guys name was tyler too. He was a tall skinny man baby that liked to body slam and punch his pregnant girlfriend. The first time they did it when they first moved in I gave him a gentlr warning that Id call the cops if he didnt stop that night and never do it again. The next time when I called the cops he lied and said I hit his car with mine and they didnt even talk to him about beating his girlfriend. The next time I went over with my other neighbor. He was a big ass concrete worker. We snatched his ass out of the room and onto the balcony. They moved after that, she went to her parents and he moved into county jail.
I've been that half of that couple. People don't understand that an abuser makes you afraid to even ask for help. People will never understand until they live it. Alot of women are stuck in their situation and it's heartbreaking.
He's beating his pregnant girlfriend and you give him a gentle warning? And you think you're a good guy? I dont agree. When a woman is abused, many people know about it, hear it or see it. How many time does a woman need to get abuse before its enough to act and call the cops? Should be one.
That grandfather also sounds like an abuser. That’s how abusers talk about women. It’s all their fault. “They nag us, they piss us off, they’re crazy, etc”. If I had a dime for every time an abuser claimed they were the real victim…
Never heard of the word dude? Why not replace the ridiculous word ''bro'' to dude, when it is not your sibling or siblings, why not have sanity? Even just basic sanity, which is what I am mentioning, smh.
“I take care of that girl and she don’t even fucking know it” abusers code word for without me they’re nothing, my moms abusive ex husband said the same shit when irl he’s a bum like Tyler the toddler and was unable to hold a job and because of that he got jealous and forced my mom to quit her job as an armed security officer all because she was better at her job than he was!
Let’s talk about Tyler. (2nd story) I absolutely hate how ADULT MEN act like spoiled 5 year olds that didn’t get their way. He truly needs time in jail.
I just don't like how you said "adult men" referring to all. I definitely agree that some do, but not all of them. I hate how SOME adult men act like children tho, so I understand your statement. I just interpreted it as you saying all adult men
@@aleukigames2959well i guess if you know you aren’t that kind of man, then they aren’t talking about you. But ya they probably know that not all men act like that. Plus, he isn’t even a man, hes a little boy for acting that way.
I love how sarcastic some of the narration is Abuser: rawr "They decided to leave and pretend like they didn't notice the police banging at their door for the past 30 minutes"
Its crazy youtube suggested this video, my boyfriend called me earlier because he saw a couple fighting on the sidewalk on his way to work, the guy punched the girl so my boyfriend pulled over with his firearm out, the guy saw him and took off. A bystander called the cops. Proud of him but yeah the phones are listening...
The phones do listen a bit, but did you by chance use google to search "couple fighting on sidewalk in 'your city here'" on google, which is owned by the same company as youtube? If so you just gave them the info anyway. I would think that's the more likely outcome.
@@4WingedAngels yeah it's true, they record you every single second of the day so when you go on the internet it makes your algorithm match you to watch content or buy stuff.
I pray that this innocent little girl in the background grows up and draws strength and wisdom from witnessing the genuine love, compassion and fight that her mother bravely modeled for her on this day and i pray the positive effects will drastically outway any negative ones.
The moment a person makes you feel unsafe for any reason, you need to get out of that relationship. Doesn't matter if you've been happily married for 20 years or if "he's only like this when he drinks". Once you lose trust in your safety around someone, you're not getting it back.
It’s unfortunately not that simple or easy. The most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when you decide to leave. It also takes on average 7 times to leave an abusive relationship for good. That’s a lot of time in the most dangerous portion. Physical abuse goes hand in hand with emotional and mental abuse, making the decision even more difficult with someone beating on you every time you try.
@@adjoub For sure but it isn't a one-step process, I think that's what people mean when they say it isn't easy, plus if there are kids it's an even trickier situation.
You don't understand how hard it is for victims to leave. You also don't know these women and the circumstances surrounding their abuse or why they chose to stay with their abusers in the first place. What if they were being threatened and feared that if they say anything wrong, they'll be killed? What if they were pregnant or have children, and they are worried about what might happen to them if they report their husband/boyfriend? What if he had a gun on him, and if she decided to press charges when being questioned by cops, he opened fire and killed her on the spot? What if he isolated her from friends and family like my abuser did, so she had nowhere else to go or anyone to help her if she did decide to leave him? There are a whole lot of things you aren't taking into consideration. Abuse is a very complex and nuanced conversation, and everyone's situation is different. Leaving is not as easy as you are making it out to be. I'll share my own story with you to help give you an idea of how difficult it is to leave. My abuser isolated me from friends and family, cutting off all my support. Even if I did leave, I wouldn't have been able to take care of myself because, financially, I had no control. My abuser prevented me from working and managed all the money. I had no car or savings, so I couldn't just drive back to my home town that was 2 hours away. I was completely dependent on him and had no one else to help me. I had no idea what a healthy relationship looked like. I thought the way he treated me was normal. My abuser broke me down and isolated me from anyone who was even remotely suspicious of him. He had a cycle where he'd shower me with love and affection, making me feel loved and safe, then out of nowhere, he would lash out and hurt me. Then he'd give me fake apologies, giving me more affection and convincing me to stay. He was my first boyfriend and the only person I had in my life, so his cycle made me believe his treatment was normal and that I deserved it. Near the end of the relationship, I decided I didn't want to be with him anymore. And that's when his abuse escalated. He got more violent, and whenever I mentioned wanting to break up with him or move back home, he would threaten to hurt me and my loved ones. I had no money, I had no job, I had no car, I had no friends or family because everyone I knew was in a different town 2 hours away from me. I was completely trapped with him, and I had nowhere else to go. One night, when he got angry and started breaking things while threatening me, I called the police, wanted to know what the police did? They laughed at me and did nothing because that's what happens when you're a man in this situation. And since I called the police on him, he was enraged, and his violence only escalated after that. He almost killed me that night, and I did everything I was supposed to do by calling the police and trying to get him arrested. So yeah, it is not as simple as just leaving or calling the police. You are missing a lot of nuance here. And you have no idea just how difficult it is for victims to leave. That's why you have to approach these conversations with nuance and take in every possibility before casting blame onto anyone.
People need to understand most abusers are narcissists that always blame the other person, no matter what, and truly believe it so it's very easy for an abuse victim to start to believe it is all their fault. When you see most of them get arrested they even blame their spouse for calling the cops when they are drunk and violently beating their significant other. If you're ever dating someone that takes no responsibility, and I mean absolutely no responsibility, you need to leave them immediately.
@@DaRealEazeshe did. I had an abuse victim as a coworker. She was getting beaten up by this hoodrat of a Latino guy. She whined, complained to the girls at work. They offered to help her. Every time they pull her out of where her boyfriend lives, she always comes crawling right back to him. They eventually gave up on her because she enjoyed acting like a victim, but hated getting beaten up. She couldn't pass the guy up because he's so attractive, so gangsta, so manly. Too bad she never had the hindsight to see the dangers. Last I checked, she's still alive and worked at a pub in 2022.
I grew up with one of these types as a father, I'm almost 30 now & even though we ran away when I was 13, I still have PTSD. I wish my mom would have left sooner. I've gone through so much therapy and I am on medication to handle the flashbacks, but I still get scared when my husband does the dishes, someone slams a car door or I hear sirens of cops. I have been in abusive relationships, I know it feels impossible to leave but when it comes to your children you need to stop putting yourself first, even the best relationship is not worth more than their safety. I prayed so much that someone would see my father abusing us so they would save us, but I figured since my mom was keeping us there and nobody was doing anything I was doomed. Don't let your kids feel like that.
My mum was with my dad for 12 years , my dad abused my mum for 10 years she tryed to escape 6 times on the last time we called the police and we got out safely and my mum is healing ❤
Im glad you were both able to get out of that situation, I hope you both are healing well and that your mum can one day find someone who truly loves her ❤
The woman who was murdered is heartbreaking. I see comments saying because she wouldn't walk away, clearly you've never been there. It's difficult to say the least. She lost her life because men like this aren't thrown in jail where they belong to begin with. The fault is on the murderer and the man, not the woman.
Not everyone is the same there are people that would say something and leave or not protect their abuser. Not all domestic violence victims do dumb things like she did
I finally escaped my abuser with my infant daughter 3 month ago. His family harrassed me to let him out of jail to the point i left state and changed my name thank god i left
In the first case…. It’s amazing to me just how many people are defending that guy. Saying he was sleeping. When not one of them was inside with him! 🤦♀️ Defending a dangerous, aggressive woman beater!! Great job! 😡🤦♀️
@@anthonyluna352I disagree, BUT it certainly seems that way even just from the accessibility to alcohol. I don’t know why alcohol is so socially accepted, it shouldn’t be. Not when people are stupid with it.
You do realize these men brainwash women. They torture them and threaten them and make them believe that if anything happens to them it’s the woman’s fault. These types of men have you questioning reality and yourself constantly, over and over again. It’s literally chaos all the time. They’ll tell women that they’ll lose their life if they get into trouble and it’ll be all their fault. It’s crazy the psychological warfare in these types of relationships
You’re angry at the exact wrong thing buddy. DV victims say that to protect themselves. Especially considering DV gets you like, a month in jail. Then what happens when the abuser gets out? All hell breaks loose.
I went through this with my ex. It’s hard as a survivor (I will not call myself a victim because he will not win) I didn’t want to accept. The 2nd story is exactly what I went through. If he was not ready to let leave him. He will also not let me go. Watching it brought so much memories and how his family would also help him and the 1st time he tried to kill me. They acted like they didn’t hear me. They would just ignore me. He would threaten me in front of cops. He opened my eyes. He told me “I don’t want to come and pick up your body” that part scared the ish out of me. He would also take me child and use him as a barrier to not let me leave. Even when I saw him getting arrested it hurt like hell.
Why was the child allowed to hear all of her mother's conversation with police officers at the gas station? They could have either closed the car door or taken the child into the shop to get her a fun treat out of earshot of her mother speaking.
I'm white, and I had two attempted murders against me by the same half-Black ex. I understand why they say we only "accuse them" because we're privileged, as there is a historic precedent in our country for white people blaming non abusive black men of abuse to avoid getting punished for interracial relations back in the early days. But the man that tried to kill me twice went on to try and woo other unsuspecting women, and I wonder if they would have the same opinion to a black woman. It's the oppression that causes this, but if we don't give everyone the chance at a fair trial, and the chance to be believed in the event of abuse, regardless of race or ethnicity, then we can't solve any abuse problems. I didn't end up pressing charges for this reason, and I simply moved back to my hometown with my parents and hoped that someone was braver than me.
That last one has to be the best anti-drinking ad I've seen in a while! Imagine turning a simple check up by the police into several felonies, just because you're drunk.
The third guy just pulling the taser prongs out with his bare hands, I’m sure he’s an absolute monster behind closed doors if he’s that much of a psycho in public, let alone the airport!
Good on those neighbors! Wish my neighbors would have called. Glad I made it out eventually. See something say something! I cried out to help to so many, and no one listened.
Thats the best thing she could have done, come out w ur hands up, of course they might cuff you but remain calm and explain its a duplex and the person they are looking for is in the other house, they will uncuff you and thank you for the info
Rest in peace to Kyla Arce🕊️ It is so heartbreaking for people stuck in a domestic violence relationship and situation, to were they feel they have to lie because of how scared they are! It’s a scary world we live in! Relationships need to be for love and trust and safety! Not abuse, disrespect, and even murder! Bless her and her family, AND THOSE NEIGHBORS THAT TRIED TO HELP! 😢😢🙁🙁❤️❤️💔💔
@@Thy_Guardian yeah… no dip bozo. imagine if guys like you put as much effort into seeking therapy as you do being the first to reply dumb shh on posts talking about battered women. Up the dosage.
As a woman who has been beaten, abused, kidnapped, stalked, recorded without my consent and then blackmailed without recording, ignored by the police whenever I tried to get help, it's really great to see these cops doing their jobs. I know how hard it can be to get away from someone who is manipulative and abusive and won't let you go so I am sending all of these women's so much love and healing energy. Once you finally get out of that abuse of situation it's like you can finally see clearly again. But when you're in it you can't see shit
"the charges were dropped by the victim" is always so heart breaking. I hope these women can break the cycle someday and get rid of those awful men.
I hope men would take more responsabilities in the matter. I know women can be abusing, but its really more common for men to beat their spouse. So many times, people around the abusing men (like his friends) knew he had a problem with violence, but did nothing. These women, like you say, are victims, and in fear for their life (and they are right, because too man get killed after they leave the abusing soupe). They shouldnt be the solution for this to end.
@@mireillep.8599 at first I had trouble understanding what you were saying but now I think I have a clear idea and I agree.
People need to hold their friends and family to a higher standard and oush for them to get help or change their ways when they are aware that the person in question has issues or worrying behaviour.
Is usually say that loyalty does not equal friendship, no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes and it is only the best of friends who will call eachother out on their BS. That of course translates to more extreme situations like these.
Why the hell is it up to the victim to decide whether charges are pressed or dropped??! Cases like these are of public interest, since these men are violent
It really irritates me that the abused women have such a fear of being on their own, or decide they "love" the abuser and drop charges! Get therapy and get brave enough to leave when you have a chance!!!!
@@vickimorgan2961 It's not as easy as you think. Many of these women come from abusive homes and they don't know what healthy love is supposed to look like. People gravitate to what's familiar to them, it makes them feel like they're in control, especially if they were traumatized in their childhood.
Many, many people live like this. Men, women, people of other genders and sexualities. Trauma damages your brain in physical and chemical ways too, just look at brain scans between people with PTSD and/or depression vs people without.
I understand how you feel, it annoys me too. It's easy to get annoyed at the victim because you are angry the situation is happening, but the abuser is too dangerous to confront so many people default to the victim because they want someone to blame.
That's why we have Emergency Services and psychology professionals, who can make those tough decisions for people who can't do so on their own.
"He's a really sweet guy when he hasn't been drinking."
If I had a penny for every time a domestic abuse victim said that...
Literally the same bullshit I used to say. If he was a nice guy when sober he wouldn't keep putting her in that position AKA do something about his drinking problem
I think ppl say that so they don't feel dumb for STILL being w/an abuser. Anger problems get worse when drinking but it's not the cause of Anger.
@jessicakantor9460 I agree. I feel like its a form of mental comfort.
As the daughter of someone everyone said that about, yeah… it’s such BS. The worst (and only) times he physically attacked me personally were when he wasn’t drunk. It’s a control problem, not a drinking problem.
Ok he’s a real 🍑 peach until he’s drinking which he does every night and then his real personality flows!!
The fact Kayla stated she was okay and nothing was wrong and ended up being killed is insane to me
well she was alive at that moment probably didnt know she will be killed
@meanral if he was an abuser, she would know she would be in danger. Murder maybe not, but danger for sure
@@TastefullySalty Fear is a verryyy powerful thing.
@@TastefullySalty Unfortunately that happens more often than not. People will be hospitalized over and over and still protect their attacker, because they fear them and often also love them and are made to feel like whatever they did (Things like existing and another guy looking at them.) brought on whatever violence they endured. It's a heartbreaking cycle.
@TastefullySalty not really. Part of the cycle of abuse is the victim convincing themselves that it won't happen again, the abuser will change, they(the victim) just has to do better, ect
“When he’s sober he’s a great person.” That’s such a sad thing to say.
It’s even more sad how true that can be. It’s hard to give up on someone when you know just how amazing they’re capable of being.
You are right. People don't realize but it's common. It's also an act. The monster is the real them. Alcohol is just the excuse and makes them bold.
I know. I had a monster of my own.
Ending it was the best decision ever.
Im glad there's more education today so people can learn the red flags.
It sounds like you are also familiar. I hope you are safe.
@MsLilBit8344 I think for many addicts/alcoholic people this is not true, there are different types of people that can be addicts. and they are in fact not a monster addiction is a very complex disease and most people use due to trauma. But I do agree that some people are just bad people and just like getting high and are bad high or not but there are plenty of amazing people who became addicted and in turn lost themselves. The guy in this situation was very complicated and im sure your situation was as well. Hope you are well
poor thing,why do the good ones always get taken advantage from!
That’s something my mom would always say about my father. He’s an alcoholic and would verbally abuse her and would make her cry and fight her all the time. She has fortunately divorced him but I don’t think I have recovered from him. I’m 11(female) and when I have to go to my dad’s I always hate it. I remember when I was 9 and I would hear them fighting a lot. I remember one fight they had I ran to my brothers and said “ I think mom and dad are getting a divorce” while sobbing my eyes out and when they stopped fighting my mom came upstairs and promised me she wouldn’t divorce him. When she did, my dad manipulated me and my brothers into thinking she was the bad one. Now that I know the whole story it breaks my heart my mom had to deal with all that. There is also a bunch of other stuff that happened but I won’t tell to save your time
“I’m taking care of that girl. She doesn’t even know it” dude you don’t even have a job. She was taking care of you and you treated her terribly
she paid the rent but IT. WAS. HIS. PROPERTY. how dare the police talk to him that way on his property 🤪
Tyler’s an unemployed idiot! Useless! 😮😮😮
That was scary, I felt almost like he was saying “I’m going to take care of HER!” like a threat.
@@Ruriko.YAre you fucking deranged. THAT. IS. NOT. HIS. PROPERTY. She’s renting the house. Use your ears.
@@Ruriko.Y it was the landlords it's a rented house did you listen to the girl say it's the landlords
I'll never understand how abusers end up with such beautiful, patient partners...
True, my mom was so kind before my dad's abuse. I don't even know how he got to marry her.
it's because abusers seek out people who are often insecure and non assertive. they love bomb them on purpose, and that's often why victims stay, because they can't make sense of how the lovely person they fell in love with somehow turned into this. they're also scared of what the abusers will do if they leave. it's a vicious cycle.
It's because they are easy targets being so trusting and easily manipulated because of it
@@alsoknownasallisonFacts. I am a DV survivor myself. My ex met me when i had it all. Confidence etc. He saw me as a perfect pray to totally break down. And he did, slowly. But i got away thank God.
they take advantage of our patience and kindness unfortunately
May Kyla rest in peace. That was heartbreaking to read.
I wish she would have spoken up when she had the chance, but my she rest in peace 🙏
Oh no 😢😢
Who's Kyla
@@NewFFplayer202438:00
@@NewFFplayer2024 She was the one in the apartment that the neighbors called and told them they thought someone was being killed in the apartment. They were sitting in the golf cart when they police caught up with them.
"You're on MY property!"
*already established that he is unemployed and she pays all the bills*
How did they establish he's unemployed? Because she said so?
@@aaadamt964 Oh yeah you're right, he seems like he's got everything under control in his life..🙄
@@maxfunk7890 I mean... They're both train wrecks.
@@aaadamt964 she didn't get hauled off so I bet she still has a job...😉😘 But hey, stay mad about it?
@@maxfunk7890 of course she didn't. They always haul the man off. Female privilege. Mad? I'm laughing at you.
the way Kyla was scared to admit she was getting abused by her boyfriend and then one month later she wa smurdered its just so b=heart breaking . All these women deserve the best
@ashleysanabria1847 I had whiplash for a sec cuz that’s my name. Looked like the Mr. Krabs meme for a sec 😂
The first one could literally kill his girlfriend and his grandpa would still defend him and call him a victim
lol the amount of times he said “ white girl”
Granddad is as much a loser as the abuser!
Yep, just a pathetic, racist old fart
Even after they kill someone, their families will still defend them and enable their dangerous behavior. Because their little angel can't do any wrong in their eyes. They create these violent monsters and then expect the rest of us to deal with them. This is why I fight so hard to educate people about Narcs, DV and Safety Escape plans!
The female neighbor also blamed the victim.
Not even a month later he killed his girlfriend. Not surprised. You could tell there was something going on she was either scared to talk or just too drunk to care
Which guy? (Update: nvm didn’t watch the whole video through yet, may Kyla rest in peace)
@@YourAverageRockfan𝚛𝚒𝚙
Yeah that was pretty rough, poor woman.
Yup... The cops were 100% responsible for her death.
she probably used the drinking as a way to escape from her fear or escape the reality that she was in.
the way my heart dropped when it said only one month later Kyla arce was killed. Broke my heart. She cared enough to not tell the police and she got murdered poor girl.
exactly my thoughts, i hope she’s resting easy 🕊️
I feel so badly for the next-door neighbour who was just gardening and got handcuffed. I would have been terrified.
I didn’t get that either, why did they handcuffed her. I would’ve been scared to death.
@@nasmx1692 they have to do that when someone comes too close to the scene to keep everyone safe, she wasn't being arrested. it would be very scary though.
@@nasmx1692 It's protocol, being handcuffed doesn't always mean you are being arrested, sometimes it's just to detain you for the moment.
They probably moved her away from the scene, made sure she was just a neighbor and had no involvement in the crime, and then uncuffed her.
Didn't she end up defending the guy?
@@coffeebean_ No that was someone else, maybe a sister
It was interesting that the dad in the first case said he didn't want to talk to his son, while the grandfather was willing to immediately go to bat for him in a rather sh*tty way. He (the dad) seemed to be the only family member who fully believed his son threatened the young woman and had no interest in defending a guilty person, regardless of the fact that they were related. You could tell he was just done, you know?
He just said he didn't want to get involved in his son's stuff. You saying he thought his son was guilty is just a prediction since he never said that
@@brianbadonde9251 it implies that he’s had “stuff” for his dad to deal with before.
@@brianbadonde9251 knew he was guilty and knew the grandpa was bogus for defending him, especially what he did. Why is he ignoring swat and why did the girl who came out lie about his presence in the house if he was being framed it would not have gone like that
the son's girlfriend defended him as well, saying she set the whole thing up. I think they are just trying to keep him out of trouble. seems like he was having conversations with other people while swat was outside. Grandpa just didnt think of that on the spot, nor did the son's girlfriend, I would check his phone records to show he was lying about being asleep as well.
@MarneStorm no one fucking cares about your tribe. The police didn't arrest this man because he wasn't white, but because someone accused him of threatening with murder. What the actual fuck do you want the police to do? Go away because grandpa says "well she's white"? Are you really that dense? No one can be that dumb.
I love the female cop so much she was so sweet to the victim. "Take some time off, not from work but from this"
fr, and the girl seems so sweet, too 🙁🙁
Grandfather just defending his grandson without even knowing anything he does behind closed doors
Normally I'm with you, but this case is strange. Grandpa, that one girl (sister?) and the dude give the same story. Also being an alcoholic is a good excuse for not noticing someone is smashing doors and windows (I know this my neighbor was one and his stereo systems volume knob had loose contact).
Was it a setup, if so how much of it? His gun or only threatening with knife? Either way nothing we should pick sides quickly on.
@@L3v3LLIPI agree, it's hard to tell so can't jump to conclusions.
But, the family members all sharing the same story really doesn't mean much. Abusers are very good at setting themselves up as the victim to everyone around them. My brother is abusive and manipulative and he has many family members that will swear black and blue that everything is his partner and ex's fault. There is a "protect the family no matter what" type of mentality in a lot of abuse cases. You wouldn't believe the stuff that family members will turn a blind eye to or even validate. It's disgusting.
@@L3v3LLIP If He's an Alc0h0lic, i mean, like, would he even remember half the stuff He says and does?
And giving the same story doesn't give much, especially if the Family isn't seeing what He may or may not be doing. He could be doing all these things and just lying to His Family.
And, well, in many cases I've seen and well, just in general, the Family either A) Doesn't know it's Happening and just Believes what their Family Member is saying and even stays in denial even when Proof is Shown or B) They Do know and know their Family Member is lying, but don't care, only caring about their Family Member way more than the Person they're hurting.
I just doubt it's set up. The one Family Member Guy's disappointed expression when He heard that one part, even with the defending later, you can clearly tell that He didn't believe that was a planted set up by the Man's Girlfriend. So.
@@L3v3LLIP Dude is clearly a moron, convicted felon with a firearm.
The fact he blames her based on that shes white in this situation really shows how great people in NA really are. 🙄
When he asked her "what are you cheating?" while the police were interrogating them, my blood ran cold. RIP Kyla Arce
I wish she told the police the truth. I know most abuse victims don’t want to because they’re scared, but still
The way he automatically assumes she's cheating when he's the one who said there was someone in the apartment, not her, and hence that accusation makes no sense. You could tell he was ready to attack his girlfriend at every moment he could.
They say it takes at least 7 attempts before a victim will leave a violent situation.
However, leaving is when the victim is most vulnerable to escalated violence from the perpetrators.
Third time for me. He was astonished. Couldn't believe I possible meant it.
I moved very very far away. Across an ocean.
That was twenty years ago.
He's still stalking me and my daughter.
He remarried and had another child.
But he STILL stalks us. That rage. That fury over our "disobedience", over his loss of control, it still, apparently, enrages him.
@@greenman6141
Yes, brave decision...stay safe 🙏🏻
From my experience, agreed. I've been stalked, and had my home burgled by an ex and his brother after I finally left.
@@TheRatsCats I hope you are safe now.
Especially as he had a family willing to join in his rage and need for control.
The fact that people are getting more likes blaming Kyla than this comment is just infuriating.
And obviously I know likes aren’t everything and don’t REALLY matter in real life, but it still tells us something.
“You’re acting like a twelve year old”
“No I’m not, you are!”
Classic
Bro told a bunch of police officers "no u" and was so proud of himself
you beat me to it...
nah see you dont understand what he's saying. 12 is the identification of the police in the streets. so he was saying you are 12 (the police code) not 12 yrs old. Tyler was spittin bars and you didnt even catch it
@@Jgarthebeast 😂
@@Jgarthebeast i thought i was the only one, shit had me crackin up like this dude rly spittin
"One month later he killed his girlfriend"
Guys, I understand it's hard to leave. But when the police is right there and trying to help, PLEASE take that exit for your own sake.
Since "I understand it's hard" doesn't seem to get through to some people, I KNOW IT'S HARD. I'm very well aware it's a situational thing with a bunch of individual risks and I'm sorry y'all apparently need it spelled out
sadly it's not that easy, by the point police is involved abusers already have so much control over you. also police being involved often doesn't help at all, it just makes it worse.
It’s *NOT* that easy. Even with the police’s help and a restraining order in place. That piece of paper is not bullet proof & neither are the police.
I know a woman who tried to leave and her man shot at the cops, then went on the run, 5 days later he showed up in the middle of the night and broke in thru a tunnel he had been digging under their home, he abducted her and she was found dead 3 states away on the side of a rural desolate road.
She left behind 3 kids and was pregnant for her 4th & 5th.
I had an ex I was terrified of. He beat me so bad he caused a miscarriage. His uncle was a cop and they LAUGHED at me. Telling me “you caused your own child to die, you shouldn’t have been here if he was that dangerous” I was a fucking scared teenager, and that BF *NEVER* should have been with me, he was *ten years older* and that made *HIM* a sexual predator
@@quirkya909Facts. I’m so sorry this happened to you. 😞 ((hugs))
It really isn't that easy. I called the police on my ex boyfriend when he went into a violent rage and started breaking things, throwing them around while threatening to hurt me. When the police came they just laughed at me and didn't take it seriously because I'm a man. They made jokes the entire time and clearly weren't understanding the severity of his aggression. I told them I wanted to press charges and they said it wasn't necessary because he wasn't actively hurting me and said that since I'm a man, it would be easy for me to just pack my stuff and leave. They left and my ex's rage only escalated, and he got physical with me. I have scars from having a glass bottle thrown at me and from where he tried to stab me. Sometimes the police can be so incompetent when it comes to domestic violence. And when victims lie to protect their abuser it's because they know if they say something that makes them look bad, the abuse will only escalate and get worse. That's why abuse victims have to be extremely careful when they plan how they are going to leave. Because if their abuser finds out they intend on leaving or pressing charges against them, the victim is as good as dead.
sadly it’s not. i stayed for longer than i should have because i was scared the police weren’t going to help me. i’m a women that’s dates women but i dress in men’s clothing for my comfort. i was lucky she decided to leave and stop “loving” me because i was scared to get help.
That “rawr” killed me
24:27 LMFAO
wouldve loved it if it was "rawr uwu" to just rub it in even more
Yeah like wtf 😂😂😂 he had a lion king moment
@@ILYSMMJREALL
LMFAO SAME-
A reminder about why abuse victims stay/keep coming back:
Several reasons. One, it's not bad all the time. The highs are so wonderful that you second guess the lows. Two, they break you down and isolate you from anybody who could identify what was going on. Three, they have a pattern that they follow: pretend to need help/lovebomb the victim, hurt the victim, fake apologies, repeat. Victims are hurt and manipulated back. I'd recommend looking into the DARVO cycle of abuse.
Sincerely, an abuse overcomer
Thank you
Good for you. Hope your life is much better now. You’re a warrior!
@GrumpyMeow-Meow it's taken a lot of healing, but I am in a significantly better place! Thank you for caring, you wonderful soul! I'm sending the best vibes your way, friend.
And that the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship (statically) is when you try to leave
So happy you got out of there. I‘ve never been in a situation like this but have heard and read so much about it and it must be so incredibly hard.
24:13 1. The kids sitting so calmly while that big ass man is punching the door is so sad and scary, and 2. The fact the taser can’t put down those big men is even scarier!
If they're on drugs, they can't feel pain a lot of the time.
If I had to guess the prong got stuck in his shirt and didn't make good contact with him
@@warp302 Nah Tasers aren't as effective as you think they are. Especially on higher mass individuals, he ate that like it was nothing you can see him twitching a bit from the electricity but big boy ate it like it was nothing. Had a buddy who worked as an electrician that would run a quality taser up and down his body to show that you can still function. most people just drop from the unexpected shock, but if you are in fight or flight or mentally prepared it doesn't actually physically lock you up to the point where you can't break through it with willpower
Kids are likely used to dear old dad behaving like that......😢
people freeze in the face of violence, never expect passers by to get up and intervene,
the best you can hope for is for them to call the police..
but you have to INSIST they do that..
the learned reflex of looking away and not moving so as not to attract the monster's attention, is obvioulsy very widespread these days..
As someone who grew up like this, always being controlled and threatened, hearing things like "He's a good person", "he's just ill/sick", "He's just addicted" all of that breaks my heart.
And especially hearing "I don't want him to get into trouble"
I hate it when they make excuses for their abusers or defend them and not only abuse women defend men that cheats on them and they make excuses too. And it is annoying
@ParisMahone-z8s They're scared of getting hurt. I can see why it's upsetting but you never know what people say behind closed doors. He could've said that he'll kill her if she says anything. Also it goes both ways too.
"Oh yeah, am I 12?? No, you're 12!!!"
Exactly what a 12-year-old would say.
He meant because 12 means police lmao that’s why he said “you’re literally 12” 💀💀💀💀 flew over peoples heads hahahahhaa
And yet he cried like a baby lol
He doesn’t even know why he is being arrested. Clueless 30 year old.
"You're literally 12" took me out for a bit
It wasn’t really funny, but I could not stop laughing at that guy. Omg. 😂
Telling a black cop that they only believe her cause she is white is wild to me
That racist grandfather probably beats his wife and probably the suspect when he was a child too. That’s where the POS gets it from, he thinks this behavior is ok.
Right?? Like I am a full believer that people of color and other minority communities are more likely to be profiled and convicted of crimes they didn't commit. As much as we try to avoid it, humans have biases against others. And this bias can affect the arresting officers, the judges, and the juries. But in this case?? Be so serious. There is absolutely nothing in this case that indicates race was a factor. And you're exactly right. He's telling that to a black cop lol.
They are the biggest racists in town
Racist mentality never makes sense
I mean it’s not that wild, there’s just as many cases when that has been true. But in this case that mf was threatening that poor women’s life and her daughter,
The second guy drove me nuts after a second of talking. I love the officer saying ''You are doing a great job'' after he cannot even manage to start recording.
Her sarcasm was very funny. They all thought that guy was a piece of work, if not an abuser a scummy weasel
"youre so weak bro" is probably not the smartest thing to say after cops tackle you through a fence ☠
That Paul Henrey one is terrifying and lowkey gave me chills. Seeing the girlfriend try to insist she's okay and nothing was wrong, just to die so soon after police gave her the chance to get help is so tragic ):
yeah... the fact domestic violence happens is only because one partner is emotionally dependant of that person, and yea, they try to deffend their loved ones even though they are aggressive and such, its really sad
@@nekobread2939 if they don’t, their abuser could kill them. It’s them trying their best to survive the only way they know how. It also means replacing that fear with love.
She was completely stupid for defending him and lying to the police
@@jadelee6555 I used to think those girls were stupid as well, until I were one of them
when you really love someone and you are... *literally* mentally ill, in deep emotional dependence, you will always defend that person, no matter what terrible things they've been doing
this can happen because of some major depression and self steem problems, I can only feel bad for her soul
@@jadelee6555scared
Imagine blaming your grandson's criminal behavior on his partner's skin color.
*THAT is racism*
Underrated comment spotted
Racism is systemic, so that's not how that works but that grandpa wad ass
The fact, I’m literally like I’m hearing this actually pisses me off
And the fact that I’m black is way disrespectful to the fact that what I’m hearing
@@davidyt646 Mr. King's message lives in the majority. As long as all shades keep that message with them, we will all be fine.
Just remember, Grandpa is the old generation and we dont listen to them anymore because of that kinda attitude.
That poor girl who said everything was fine and then got unalived by her boy friend is so sad
I know you’re using internet terms, but try to remember that saying things like “unalive” trivialize the situation. She was murdered.
There’s no cutesy or “advertisement friendly” way to say it. She was killed. She died.
Try to keep words like “unalive” only to when you’re making a video on TikTok and trying to avoid your video getting banned. I just say this because if this were my mom, sister, etc. and I read someone calling it something as silly sounding as unalived I’d be pissed. We need to call this guy what he is, a murderer, not an unaliver.
@@dysfunctionalafthis right here. Thank you!
@@Exhaustedeveryday_ Yeah I think a lot of people forget that the only reason TikTokers started using those terms was to avoid censorship. There’s a time and place to use it, but off of TikTok (especially on a channel like this one) is not it.
Like just keep it to when absolutely necessary and even then just say something like “her boyfriend took her life”. It’s still being respectful and true to the situation at hand, while not as likely to be picked up by censoring bots.
(Ugh sorry I could go on about this shit forever)
"unalived" is such a disrespectful thing to say in such a context!
@@Wurstbrot4life I don't comment on UA-cam often. I wasn't sure if they were stingy about "murder" and "killed" etc. Since a lot of youtubers censor the words in their videos. I wasn't trying to be disrespectful
I freaking love the female officer in Case Two. Absolutely zero tolerance for that manchild’s bs.
Imagine how good it would have been without body cams.. hehehe
Exactly! I am surprised not many people are talking about this
I think she wanted to rough him up just as bad as I did.
Facts
Not even a manchild that's a man baby
“charges were dropped at victims request”😔
As someone who escaped. It’s hard. It’s sooo hard. I’m proud of everyone who finally had enough and made it out safely.
It's so hard
So extremely hard and mine wasnt even a boyfriend it was my grandparents they make you feel as tho no one would help you or believe you if you leave
That’s so sad. I’m so proud of you, and you might not hear that enough. All of my light and hope goes out to those still struggling ❤❤❤
Me too.
Proud of you. Fellow survivor here.
Love Grandpa yelling "white girl" stuff but the dad was like "I aint getting involved. Do what you got to do"
He killed her!?!?!?!!? That is so messed up! Girl, come back as a ghost and make the rest of his life a living downstairs!!!!!!!!!!
It happens more often than you think.
@@mireillep.8599 It’s still messed up tho😢
EXACTLYYYY
@@mireillep.8599 especially after "charges dropped by victim," unfortunately. Being rescued doesn't save everyone.. 😢
Weird but true, I had a bad feeling when the cops said that she was heard crying out, "help."
I thought, now that he knows that, next time he will not give her a chance to cry out.
My parents were like this when I was a kid.
I made sure I found someone who was the opposite. Our worst argument is "what do you want to eat?" 😂
The most confusing of arguments
I immediately thought of this
“What do you want to eat tonight?l
“Idk what do you want to eat tonight?”
“Idk thats why I asked you.”
“Well I don’t know either.”
“You have to know something.”
“No I don’t”
“I can’t think of anything!”
(A few minutes of bickering until they just decided on mashed potatoes and Mac & cheese)
I beat that argument by marrying a Brazilian. What do you want to eat when she doesn't always know always ends in YES! When I say stake.
@@bendydragon4476frfr
As it should be, happy for you
The cop "let him bump into you" had me dyinggg
the entire conversation between the cops and the second guy had been dying 😭
The girl who was killed.. I feel so sorry for her I wish she wasn't so scared to tell the truth.
I know, whenever words popped up that she died a month later my mouth just dropped open.
He was in a meth psychosis and killed her. This is beyond awful. Even tried to hurt his own dad, shot her in his parents home
@@andrecollins69What… I’m going to look up this case. This is so sad 😞
"Let him bump into you. Yep there it is!" Too damn good lmaoo
he said “goodbye” funnniest part 😂
@@Furrylover445_ Ikr the "Goodbye 😊😊"
Yes, bumping into an officer, or even laying a finger on them, legally constitutes assaulting an officer (An officer has an entire arsenal of weapons on their belt that a suspect can grab and use against them).
If you touch or bump into an officer during an altercation, they are taking you down. Afterwards, the bodycam footage ends up on youtube. Then millions of working class Americans, who are tired from a long day of work, decide to unwind by watching UA-cam videos. They come across the viral video of you getting arrested, and they are amused and entertained at your expense.
@@Furrylover445_Ikr I was rolling at the “goodbye” 😂 best way to top that off 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Honestly I'm glad they got him for that. He was definitely going to hurt that girl if they had just left after hearing her screaming at him to leave her alone. I hope she's doing better
RIP Kyla Arce. You didn’t deserve what you went through. You were abused. You were in danger. He did the unimaginable and deserved the punishment. I’m sorry. May you have a life in peace and harmony up above. Amen. May all of our love be with you! ❤
As a retired Flight Attendant, it's time to get rid of bars in airports. They're not malls, nor should they ever look like a street lined with bars. Imagine if this idiot's peak of crazy drunkeness hit him while the plane was in-flight? It could've ended in disaster. It takes a long time for a plane to divert and descend for landing.
Fully agree with this!
maybe ban alcohol in flights too?
No. The government cannot infringe on privately owned entities’ operations. And other individuals and businesses shouldn’t have limitations based on the wrongful acts of others.
@@hollyharrison1377 Drunks shouldn't be allowed to infringe on the rights of the other souls on board an aircraft along with them. One belligerent drunk can ruin a flight with a few people on board on up to over 400 people.
and you waited to retire for this statement?? lol
22:25 some fantastic advice from this female officer. This is the importance of having female officers. You have the men outside dealing with that nutjob, but having another officer deal with this lady calmly and rationally is huge.
"Do it again...yep there it is...goodbye"😂😂😂
Police didnt take my calls seriously when i said my partner was threatening me, himself, and others.
My ex later went to prison for attacking a neighbor with a machete because the neighbor told him to calm down.
Officers need to take it seriously and investigate.
This happened to me too, I called the police when my boyfriend lashed out and started making threats towards me. The police just laughed at me and told me it wasn't serious because we were both men. They told me they couldn't arrest him since he wasn't physically hurting me. After they left, my ex was angry that I called the police on him and tried to kill me that night. So yeah, anyone who says it's easy to leave need to get their heads checked. Because I did everything I was supposed to do by calling the police and trying to get him arrested, just for them to turn a blind eye to it and allow him to hurt me even more. 🤷♂️
Unfortunately, I hear a lot that the police ignore these threats. I can’t understand why. If you call them every time you and your boyfriend are having arguments, ok that’s understandable but when you call them only when you really feel in danger then they need to take action immediately. We had a similar issue with a crazy tenant who lived in our basement and would pick the locks and come into our house, move things to leave things around. Police told me she is not physically hurting us and we are just calling after getting her money and now we want to kick her out! My husband had to come up with a plan just to kick her out peacefully because no one listened to us. Your situation was even more dire and I’m baffled that they ignored you.
Sadly, the woman died.
@@noway377beyond fucked up. another reason why ppl stand so strongly behind ACAB. they just won’t do anything unless there’s 1 irrefutable evidence you where physically hurt or 2 the abuser is actively chasing you with a weapon.
with stalkers as well, „oh they are sending you threats daily, stand for hours in front of your house even though they have a restraining order? but have they hurt you yet? no? oh well nothing we can do.“ if they’re generous they talk with them. as if that would stop someone who’s already going so far as to threaten you.
@@noway377im very glad though that you got out alive. i hope he’s rotting in prison but i sadly wouldn’t be surprised if he got off easy either :(
The irony of the dude in the second situation saying "stop calling me bro, this a professional conversation". He had been saying bro the whole time lol, drunk people are on next level stupidity.
lmao i was looking for this comment "i'm not 12! you're 12! f you!" ok buddy
He definitely peaked in high school and is just a drunk loser now.
did you miss his whole charade? hes evil and shrewd af...watch it again...hes being annoying on purpose so cops wouldnt want to deal with im...hes taking 20 mins to start recording...being annoying...he wants the cops to just give up and go "w.e lets go" and hes trying to bait them the whole time to get angry and smart with him ....as this gives him reason to go back inside...he literally i think three times did the whole "you made me mad bye" and this gave him a reason to go inside and start like phycologically threatening the gf to stay or w.e ...the police caught him doing it the last two time...he would get the cops mad and then play victim and try to pout and walk in...and the last two time cops seen thru it and stopped him and he even had a grin on his face...like fk i can't get away with this anymore...like he was doing it on purpose...evil ass ,mfer...all to go in to prevent his gf from leaving...good thing the gf tried while the cops were still close by ...cause first time he almost got them to leave ...hes pretty fucking shrewd for a drunk guy...evil af
Man I don't miss being in an abusive relationship that's for sure ... Also I love how they said you're acting 12 and the best comeback he had was no you're 12 😂 THATS LITERALLY SOMETHING A 12 YEAR OLD WOULD SAY .
Rest in peace Kyla Arce…. 😢 that’s heart wrenching.
Wait which one is that one?
@@izzygraves6672 Starting at 31:15
@@izzygraves6672the guy and girl that was on the gold car, and the cops had to break their door down, very heartbreaking 🙏😪
the fact that she dropped the charges for that man...
Yeah that’s not good.
That's Unfortunately what happens with @buse V1ct1m$. They get Manipulated too much. Hurt, then a fake apology, then love-bombing, then it starts over.
That's why Some States have put in Place that that Victim Can't Drop Charges in Domestic Relationships(like, living together), it's for the Safety of the Victim. It should be put in all States. It would be especially good for the Men who are Victims, because the Stigma of actually Reporting. If it comes up. Victims should always be Protected and just Take Their Partner away when they can.
She was too scared of him sadly
Definitely made my heart sink. I get it, but we gotta stop letting abusive partners get away with it.
@@Hana.Behl-Lecter Which that's why some States Charge them Regardless of what the Partner wants. I wish all States did that, it would save so many people..
21:29 “Let him bump into you” Bless these cops 😂
I worked for 20+ years in the ER, and I can tell you that no matter how hard you try to save women (and men, honestly), if they won't press charges, there's nothing you can do. It doesn't matter if they have clinical signs of being choked, or broken bones, or having been beaten within an inch of their life. Doesn't really matter if the cops have evidence in a lot of cases, especially when the abused doesn't want to press charges ... if the abused doesn't want to press charges, there's nothing anyone can do on their behalf. Not the City, the County, or the State unless some charge extends beyond domestic violence, like someone on probation having a gun, or whatever else can just squeak by the domestic into the state/city/county laws.
That needs to change. If there is probable cause, then the presumed offender should be charged by the state independent of the wishes of the abused. That's because the abused has been manipulated, or are afraid, or afraid of being alone even (and they'd rather have an abuser in their life than try to go it alone ... NO KIDDING).
Allowing a situation where the law can't stop something because the adult abused won't press charges or even be honest out of fear and it results in murder???
Come ON. Something has to change.
ik this is like has nothing to do with this but if my dad (he was in the navy) foun dout my mum was being abused boy oml bro he gonna call the navy
I guess it depends on the state because in many videos like this that I’ve watched, the officers say that their hands are tied and an arrest has to be made if there are physical signs of injury. Even if the victim insists that they don’t want the abuser arrested.
What you said about the abuser being charged with assault regardless of the victim’s refusal to press charges should ABSOLUTELY be a thing. You probably have seen it all being a nurse. ❤ keep up the good work!
Unrelated, but you are really well spoken. You worded it very well 👍🏻
You're absolutely right. Regardless of if the victim wants to press charges or not. Fear keeps a lot of evil people on the streets. They should face time regardless.
In the UK the Police take care of the charges. That way the victim has no say in the matter it’s a lot safer for the victim.
Reading about Kyla's death sent shivers down my spine, its sad to see such cases still on going, i hope people find relief from these troubles and predators. Fly high, Kyla 🕊️
How many times I’ve heard “when he’s sober he’s a good person” is crazy but I’ve also heard “when your drunk the truth comes out”
If you're only abusive when drinking, then don't drink! Simple.
Justice for Kyla Arce, that ending was shocking and devastating to hear, we just watched this whole body cam footage unfold of this girl and then at the end we r told she was killed a month later.
She kind of in a way caused her death. Disagree with me all you want but you can't live with a snake and expect it not to kill you
@@DaRealEazesame can be said about pitbulls. THEY ARE aggressive and mean AND kill, but yall wanna downplay that cause a couple people said they have "good dogs" annoy that dog enough, it will snap and kill someone.
I think she resigned herself to just giving up. I sensed it when she was talking with the officer. She was so deep in her addiction, I don't think she cares what happened to her.
Even if she was an addict alot of women or men whom are abused battle with addiction to numb the pain of being abused some people don't have anywhere to go to escape their abusers because they're often isolated and lose family and friends the cycle of abuse is much more complex than most think it is it's not easy to leave or get out it's really not that simple I escaped my abuser when I was 20 he still financially has control over my life it's not that simple folks. Stay blessed.
@@DaRealEazei wouldnt say she caused it, you don’t just except your bf to kill you even if they’re abusive, murder isn’t expected, seems like she jus gave up trying to leave honestly :(
There was a crazy couple fighting in the apetments behind mine once. The guys name was tyler too. He was a tall skinny man baby that liked to body slam and punch his pregnant girlfriend. The first time they did it when they first moved in I gave him a gentlr warning that Id call the cops if he didnt stop that night and never do it again. The next time when I called the cops he lied and said I hit his car with mine and they didnt even talk to him about beating his girlfriend. The next time I went over with my other neighbor. He was a big ass concrete worker. We snatched his ass out of the room and onto the balcony. They moved after that, she went to her parents and he moved into county jail.
Wish I would have had people to defend me when i was being abused thank you for trying to help that gal
Thank you for doing something and not looking away!
Why’d your pussy have to have another 😂 shouldn’t get involved if you’re a beta
I've been that half of that couple. People don't understand that an abuser makes you afraid to even ask for help. People will never understand until they live it. Alot of women are stuck in their situation and it's heartbreaking.
He's beating his pregnant girlfriend and you give him a gentle warning? And you think you're a good guy? I dont agree. When a woman is abused, many people know about it, hear it or see it. How many time does a woman need to get abuse before its enough to act and call the cops? Should be one.
That grandfather also sounds like an abuser. That’s how abusers talk about women. It’s all their fault. “They nag us, they piss us off, they’re crazy, etc”. If I had a dime for every time an abuser claimed they were the real victim…
THIS.
The old “I didn’t hit her that hard” mentality.
that poor girl started packing up the cats. if she files that junction she will have a fighting chance. good for his parents for calling the cops
The poor girl? Seriously? She dropped all charges.
@@ic9310 you ever been in an abusive relationship
@@ic9310because she was scared, do you seriously not understand??
@@ic9310are you stupid?
Tyler trying to use psychological tactic on the cops like-YOU CAN FCKIN RECORD TYLER YOU CAN
"I worked hard for this"
..didn't she say you don't got a job bro- it's her house 🤦♀️
Never heard of the word dude? Why not replace the ridiculous word ''bro'' to dude, when it is not your sibling or siblings, why not have sanity? Even just basic sanity, which is what I am mentioning, smh.
@@Vero2yuur brain damaged
@@Vero2yubro 💀
@@Vero2yu what are you on about 💞
@@Vero2yu Stop yapping, why tf do you care what this person says lmao
“I take care of that girl and she don’t even fucking know it” abusers code word for without me they’re nothing, my moms abusive ex husband said the same shit when irl he’s a bum like Tyler the toddler and was unable to hold a job and because of that he got jealous and forced my mom to quit her job as an armed security officer all because she was better at her job than he was!
"I'm so proud of you, you act 12" bro I'm dead😆😂🤣💀
Let’s talk about Tyler. (2nd story)
I absolutely hate how ADULT MEN act like spoiled 5 year olds that didn’t get their way. He truly needs time in jail.
and his wide smile with his dead unemotional eyes are sociopathic
I just don't like how you said "adult men" referring to all. I definitely agree that some do, but not all of them. I hate how SOME adult men act like children tho, so I understand your statement. I just interpreted it as you saying all adult men
@@aleukigames2959well i guess if you know you aren’t that kind of man, then they aren’t talking about you. But ya they probably know that not all men act like that. Plus, he isn’t even a man, hes a little boy for acting that way.
@@momowri real
She’s just as a guilty for protecting that piece of shit
"I'm not 12, you're 12! Waaahh!" Literally.
He's saying they 12 ( the cops) in some western culture they call them 12.
I love how sarcastic some of the narration is
Abuser: rawr
"They decided to leave and pretend like they didn't notice the police banging at their door for the past 30 minutes"
“no YOURE acting twelve 😭😭😭”
“Don’t call me bro! Be professional DUDE” 🤣🤣🤦🏼♀️
Then also proceeds to call them bro like 10-15 times after that 🤦♀️
@@Sofia726 "no, your twelve" :'D
Its crazy youtube suggested this video, my boyfriend called me earlier because he saw a couple fighting on the sidewalk on his way to work, the guy punched the girl so my boyfriend pulled over with his firearm out, the guy saw him and took off. A bystander called the cops. Proud of him but yeah the phones are listening...
Thank your man on behalf of women everywhere x
The phones do listen a bit, but did you by chance use google to search "couple fighting on sidewalk in 'your city here'" on google, which is owned by the same company as youtube? If so you just gave them the info anyway. I would think that's the more likely outcome.
UA-cam objectively has 0 access to your microphone, so no.
The phones are listening?
@@4WingedAngels yeah it's true, they record you every single second of the day so when you go on the internet it makes your algorithm match you to watch content or buy stuff.
This is the reason my hubby has been sober for 23 years!❤️
I'm so grateful!
I pray that this innocent little girl in the background grows up and draws strength and wisdom from witnessing the genuine love, compassion and fight that her mother bravely modeled for her on this day and i pray the positive effects will drastically outway any negative ones.
The moment a person makes you feel unsafe for any reason, you need to get out of that relationship. Doesn't matter if you've been happily married for 20 years or if "he's only like this when he drinks". Once you lose trust in your safety around someone, you're not getting it back.
It’s unfortunately not that simple or easy. The most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when you decide to leave. It also takes on average 7 times to leave an abusive relationship for good. That’s a lot of time in the most dangerous portion. Physical abuse goes hand in hand with emotional and mental abuse, making the decision even more difficult with someone beating on you every time you try.
Leaving is when you are the biggest target to your abuser, especially physically. You are putting yourself in danger, its really not that simple
@@brittneyyyannjust because It’s difficult and dangerous to leave doesn’t mean It’s not the right thing to do.
@@adjoub For sure but it isn't a one-step process, I think that's what people mean when they say it isn't easy, plus if there are kids it's an even trickier situation.
You don't understand how hard it is for victims to leave. You also don't know these women and the circumstances surrounding their abuse or why they chose to stay with their abusers in the first place.
What if they were being threatened and feared that if they say anything wrong, they'll be killed? What if they were pregnant or have children, and they are worried about what might happen to them if they report their husband/boyfriend? What if he had a gun on him, and if she decided to press charges when being questioned by cops, he opened fire and killed her on the spot? What if he isolated her from friends and family like my abuser did, so she had nowhere else to go or anyone to help her if she did decide to leave him?
There are a whole lot of things you aren't taking into consideration. Abuse is a very complex and nuanced conversation, and everyone's situation is different. Leaving is not as easy as you are making it out to be.
I'll share my own story with you to help give you an idea of how difficult it is to leave.
My abuser isolated me from friends and family, cutting off all my support. Even if I did leave, I wouldn't have been able to take care of myself because, financially, I had no control. My abuser prevented me from working and managed all the money. I had no car or savings, so I couldn't just drive back to my home town that was 2 hours away.
I was completely dependent on him and had no one else to help me. I had no idea what a healthy relationship looked like. I thought the way he treated me was normal.
My abuser broke me down and isolated me from anyone who was even remotely suspicious of him. He had a cycle where he'd shower me with love and affection, making me feel loved and safe, then out of nowhere, he would lash out and hurt me. Then he'd give me fake apologies, giving me more affection and convincing me to stay. He was my first boyfriend and the only person I had in my life, so his cycle made me believe his treatment was normal and that I deserved it.
Near the end of the relationship, I decided I didn't want to be with him anymore. And that's when his abuse escalated. He got more violent, and whenever I mentioned wanting to break up with him or move back home, he would threaten to hurt me and my loved ones.
I had no money, I had no job, I had no car, I had no friends or family because everyone I knew was in a different town 2 hours away from me. I was completely trapped with him, and I had nowhere else to go. One night, when he got angry and started breaking things while threatening me, I called the police, wanted to know what the police did? They laughed at me and did nothing because that's what happens when you're a man in this situation. And since I called the police on him, he was enraged, and his violence only escalated after that. He almost killed me that night, and I did everything I was supposed to do by calling the police and trying to get him arrested.
So yeah, it is not as simple as just leaving or calling the police. You are missing a lot of nuance here. And you have no idea just how difficult it is for victims to leave. That's why you have to approach these conversations with nuance and take in every possibility before casting blame onto anyone.
24:28 THE “RAWR” TOOK ME OUT😭😭
People need to understand most abusers are narcissists that always blame the other person, no matter what, and truly believe it so it's very easy for an abuse victim to start to believe it is all their fault.
When you see most of them get arrested they even blame their spouse for calling the cops when they are drunk and violently beating their significant other.
If you're ever dating someone that takes no responsibility, and I mean absolutely no responsibility, you need to leave them immediately.
Paul is the worst. Why would you kill your girlfriend? Scumbag behavior. I would be like the cops...angry and aggravated.
Because he considered her to be property and his right to abuse and kill.
As much as everyone would disagree with me, she did have it coming.
@@DaRealEaze nobody knows where they might end up. nobody knows.
@@sansisyoutubing I think from the behavior of the boyfriend and from the statement of the cops, she should've expected that
@@DaRealEazeshe did.
I had an abuse victim as a coworker. She was getting beaten up by this hoodrat of a Latino guy. She whined, complained to the girls at work. They offered to help her. Every time they pull her out of where her boyfriend lives, she always comes crawling right back to him. They eventually gave up on her because she enjoyed acting like a victim, but hated getting beaten up. She couldn't pass the guy up because he's so attractive, so gangsta, so manly. Too bad she never had the hindsight to see the dangers.
Last I checked, she's still alive and worked at a pub in 2022.
me being 12 and hearing him say that is very childish -😂
I grew up with one of these types as a father, I'm almost 30 now & even though we ran away when I was 13, I still have PTSD. I wish my mom would have left sooner. I've gone through so much therapy and I am on medication to handle the flashbacks, but I still get scared when my husband does the dishes, someone slams a car door or I hear sirens of cops. I have been in abusive relationships, I know it feels impossible to leave but when it comes to your children you need to stop putting yourself first, even the best relationship is not worth more than their safety. I prayed so much that someone would see my father abusing us so they would save us, but I figured since my mom was keeping us there and nobody was doing anything I was doomed. Don't let your kids feel like that.
The Cops comforting the Young Woman was the best part of this whole video.
whoever did the captions, i love you 😭😭
My mum was with my dad for 12 years , my dad abused my mum for 10 years she tryed to escape 6 times on the last time we called the police and we got out safely and my mum is healing ❤
I'm glad your mom and you are safe now
Im glad you were both able to get out of that situation, I hope you both are healing well and that your mum can one day find someone who truly loves her ❤
your mom is selfish for subjecting her children to this for 12 years
Look, it's an idiot! 🎉🎉🎉@@yeetmama
Aww, I think the officer calling him 12 years old hurt his feelings lol
He seemed so unintelligent.
"I'm not 12, you're 12" 😂
The woman who was murdered is heartbreaking. I see comments saying because she wouldn't walk away, clearly you've never been there. It's difficult to say the least. She lost her life because men like this aren't thrown in jail where they belong to begin with. The fault is on the murderer and the man, not the woman.
Not everyone is the same there are people that would say something and leave or not protect their abuser. Not all domestic violence victims do dumb things like she did
I finally escaped my abuser with my infant daughter 3 month ago. His family harrassed me to let him out of jail to the point i left state and changed my name thank god i left
Good on you, hope all goes well x
that is amesome good job for you it can be very hard leaving an abuser
God bless yall and keep you safe
Im so proud of you ♡
Its hard to get away thank god you did.
I wish you al the best for you and your daughter ♡
"This is a proffesional conversation"
Next sentence he calls one of the officers dude
How Ironic 20:21
Yeah lol
That guy was really annoying.
cop called him a bro t00 but guess he shot fired first
its not THAT ironic but okay
its a conversation protected by law and under a professional relationship, he just choses to use that lingo. big deal
😭😭😭
In the first case….
It’s amazing to me just how many people are defending that guy. Saying he was sleeping. When not one of them was inside with him! 🤦♀️
Defending a dangerous, aggressive woman beater!! Great job! 😡🤦♀️
Anyone notice alcohol played a part in almost all of these...?
Yep. Probably a lot more than we even realize.
Exactly
Alcohol is worse than class A drugs man
@@anthonyluna352I disagree, BUT it certainly seems that way even just from the accessibility to alcohol. I don’t know why alcohol is so socially accepted, it shouldn’t be. Not when people are stupid with it.
Alcohol is actually the most dangerous drug, society really needs to restrict it more
"I don't want him in trouble" is the most infuriating statement
You do realize these men brainwash women. They torture them and threaten them and make them believe that if anything happens to them it’s the woman’s fault. These types of men have you questioning reality and yourself constantly, over and over again. It’s literally chaos all the time. They’ll tell women that they’ll lose their life if they get into trouble and it’ll be all their fault. It’s crazy the psychological warfare in these types of relationships
It’s also the most common statement you’ll hear from an abused victim
I kinda get it, cuz you'll never know how long jail time the suspect gets and if he's gonna kill you after he comes out.. that's my biggest fear
You’re angry at the exact wrong thing buddy. DV victims say that to protect themselves. Especially considering DV gets you like, a month in jail. Then what happens when the abuser gets out? All hell breaks loose.
@@allisoncastlei am sorry but it pisses me off whenever they say that.
I went through this with my ex. It’s hard as a survivor (I will not call myself a victim because he will not win) I didn’t want to accept. The 2nd story is exactly what I went through. If he was not ready to let leave him. He will also not let me go. Watching it brought so much memories and how his family would also help him and the 1st time he tried to kill me. They acted like they didn’t hear me. They would just ignore me. He would threaten me in front of cops. He opened my eyes. He told me “I don’t want to come and pick up your body” that part scared the ish out of me. He would also take me child and use him as a barrier to not let me leave. Even when I saw him getting arrested it hurt like hell.
"My property" and doesn't have a job
My thoughts 🤣🤣
Why was the child allowed to hear all of her mother's conversation with police officers at the gas station? They could have either closed the car door or taken the child into the shop to get her a fun treat out of earshot of her mother speaking.
@MarneStormalways believe the victim first
As someone who was the child in that kind of situation, we’ve heard far worse. That kid wasn’t hearing anything that she didn’t know.
@@xanethebaconreal:(
"We're bangin the hell out of the door" 🤣
My humor is so broken...
my heart hurts for these women, i hope they’re all able to leave these situations and are able to begin to work through that trauma.
Timestamp
0:35 Case 1
12:30 Case 2
23:26 Case 3
31:03 Case 4
40:24 Case 5
Thankyou
Thx friend
I'm white, and I had two attempted murders against me by the same half-Black ex. I understand why they say we only "accuse them" because we're privileged, as there is a historic precedent in our country for white people blaming non abusive black men of abuse to avoid getting punished for interracial relations back in the early days. But the man that tried to kill me twice went on to try and woo other unsuspecting women, and I wonder if they would have the same opinion to a black woman. It's the oppression that causes this, but if we don't give everyone the chance at a fair trial, and the chance to be believed in the event of abuse, regardless of race or ethnicity, then we can't solve any abuse problems. I didn't end up pressing charges for this reason, and I simply moved back to my hometown with my parents and hoped that someone was braver than me.
I'm so sad you went through that and I respect your choices
That last one has to be the best anti-drinking ad I've seen in a while! Imagine turning a simple check up by the police into several felonies, just because you're drunk.
doesnt work unfortunately. 99% of drinkers will see that and think “yeah but that would never be me”
I'm so relieved for his wife. She finally got some peace.
The third guy just pulling the taser prongs out with his bare hands,
I’m sure he’s an absolute monster behind closed doors if he’s that much of a psycho in public, let alone the airport!
Good on those neighbors! Wish my neighbors would have called. Glad I made it out eventually. See something say something! I cried out to help to so many, and no one listened.
The neighbor in their attached home gets pulled outta HER house and she's so unbelievably calm and nonplussed, it kills me.
Thats the best thing she could have done, come out w ur hands up, of course they might cuff you but remain calm and explain its a duplex and the person they are looking for is in the other house, they will uncuff you and thank you for the info
29 years old and starts crying when someone says he is 12 lmao im sure he is a sweetheart when they are alone
Rest in peace to Kyla Arce🕊️ It is so heartbreaking for people stuck in a domestic violence relationship and situation, to were they feel they have to lie because of how scared they are! It’s a scary world we live in! Relationships need to be for love and trust and safety! Not abuse, disrespect, and even murder! Bless her and her family, AND THOSE NEIGHBORS THAT TRIED TO HELP! 😢😢🙁🙁❤️❤️💔💔
this is insane, I can’t believe there’s men out there like this.
And girls too
@@Thy_Guardianbecause we couldn't figure that out ourselves
@@Thy_Guardianwhy do yall always have to say that when we talk about scary men
@@Thy_Guardian"And girls too" well obviously dumbass
@@Thy_Guardian yeah… no dip bozo. imagine if guys like you put as much effort into seeking therapy as you do being the first to reply dumb shh on posts talking about battered women. Up the dosage.
As a woman who has been beaten, abused, kidnapped, stalked, recorded without my consent and then blackmailed without recording, ignored by the police whenever I tried to get help, it's really great to see these cops doing their jobs. I know how hard it can be to get away from someone who is manipulative and abusive and won't let you go so I am sending all of these women's so much love and healing energy. Once you finally get out of that abuse of situation it's like you can finally see clearly again. But when you're in it you can't see shit
you are so strong 💗💗💗
You're very strong ❤>
Take care of yourself. Glad that you are doing fine