MILENA CICIOTTI MADE ME REALLY SAD | how to ACTUALLY submit to your husband Reaction

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  • Опубліковано 9 лис 2023
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 419

  • @flowerchild29831
    @flowerchild29831 7 місяців тому +397

    "Respect is so important to men" ACTUALLY it's important to every human being on the planet! Women deserve and should expect respect just as much as men.

    • @normalgamergal
      @normalgamergal 7 місяців тому +16

      TLDR: it's a socialization issue. Everyone needs external validation, but men get it significantly less often than women currently.
      (Note, this is me just taking about cis people, as being trans will change up these observations a lot.)
      I think the difference many people don't notice is that it's much easier for women to get outside validation from friends, while guys are currently socialized to think that it's "gay" for men to hype each other up. Not just is that homophobic, it's also incredibly damaging. Women friends are expected to give each other validation and platonic affection (physical and emotional) while men tend to think they can only receive it from their romantic partner. This is difficult for men who have a hard time finding a partner and unfair for any partners they are with. This is thankfully getting better in more recent years, but not fast enough for many men who need it.
      Oh, and fun(?) fact for those that think this is inherent, this used to be switched. Men used to be considered the emotional ones while women were supposed to be stoic. It's why a lot of old stories have men crying a lot and women either being reserved or if they got emotional it being a sign they're unwell.

    • @rivendells_shona
      @rivendells_shona 7 місяців тому +21

      @@normalgamergalthe thing is… the type of “respect” that is preached for females to give males in conservative complimentarian communities (which Melina is already part of) is not “I see you as an equal human worthy of validation” but “I must defer to you in everything.”
      The people speaking out against the rhetoric that “men need respect” are dealing with the “love and respect” false dichotomy popularized in evangelicalism: that women uniquely need love and men uniquely need respect. They would wholly agree with your statements that men need healthy peer validation, because we’re dealing with two different definitions of respect.
      (Aside: glad someone else has brought up that historically-particularly before the Enlightenment-men were perceived as the emotional ones. 😁)

    • @flowerchild29831
      @flowerchild29831 7 місяців тому +10

      @@normalgamergal I agree with you to an extent but I guess I just don’t consider validation and affection to be the same as respect. To say that, nowadays, men actually need respect more than women is to imply that women are now more highly respected in this world than men and that’s just not true.

    • @normalgamergal
      @normalgamergal 7 місяців тому +5

      @@flowerchild29831 I didn't disagree with your statement at all, just giving context to why guys may currently feel more needy with those things. Saying that, affection may not be part of respect, but I personally feel affirmation is. If you're talking more about autonomy, obviously both need it equally, though women are the ones facing having our rights taken away more than men right now, as I'm sure you know. Sorry if you got the wrong impression, I was attempting to expand on what you said, not disagree with it.

    • @spacebar9733
      @spacebar9733 7 місяців тому

      ​​@@normalgamergal they're still paid more than women, get better jobs, are more resoected in the workplace and co-ed environments so that respect from OTHER WOMEN WHO SEE THE UNPAID LABOR their friend is doing means very little.
      Women only receive praise from other women who are their friends. Men receive praise from everyone, in every world. Doing the bare minimum.

  • @RoseThePhoenix
    @RoseThePhoenix 7 місяців тому +210

    "Submission is so freeing."
    "Submission is torturously difficult for me every single day."
    Okay, then.

    • @naomi9449
      @naomi9449 7 місяців тому +12

      All I heard was bondage. I said mmmmm can’t be from the Bible. I said I’ve been set free thank you.

    • @khubbs5660
      @khubbs5660 7 місяців тому +7

      Something can be freeing but also be difficult... 🤯

    • @thelearninghomemaker
      @thelearninghomemaker 6 місяців тому +8

      Highlighting the battle of flesh and spirit within us. It’s freeing when we are living in the Spirit, but difficult at the same time because we are dying to our flesh and old self.

    • @marinesimonotti481
      @marinesimonotti481 5 місяців тому

      Hard doesn’t mean bad

  • @castackpole
    @castackpole 7 місяців тому +77

    Calling your husband "daddy" in the middle of a fight is giving "Daddy, chill" energy

    • @PerineSck
      @PerineSck 6 місяців тому +5

      💀💀💀 LORD HAVE MERCY

  • @amanda_of_house_dracarys
    @amanda_of_house_dracarys 7 місяців тому +63

    This woman raises my blood pressure more than the mlm babes 😒

  • @RobAGabor
    @RobAGabor 7 місяців тому +163

    My win for the week is that a cardiologist told me my heart was pumping really well.

    • @BHaney
      @BHaney  7 місяців тому +15

      That is amazing news!! 💛🎉

    • @NissaMaezHartman
      @NissaMaezHartman 7 місяців тому +9

      That's awesome! ❤

    • @peachtrees_
      @peachtrees_ 7 місяців тому +6

      congratulations!

    • @Drizella9
      @Drizella9 7 місяців тому +5

      ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @pandalilili
    @pandalilili 6 місяців тому +143

    How sad does one have to be to examine and review another womans life to bits just because you disagree and it doesnt align with your lifes view? This is just weird.

    • @chinadolz57
      @chinadolz57 5 місяців тому +30

      Exactly!!!! Milena's videos are so positive and about family.

    • @rubivaquero3099
      @rubivaquero3099 5 місяців тому +14

      Yes this is so weird to me that people do this.. like this is really sad that she doesn’t add on wisdom or other things instead she puts other people down that’s weird

    • @pri2x0x
      @pri2x0x 5 місяців тому +3

      why does she show other people's children on her channel but not her own?

    • @pandalilili
      @pandalilili 5 місяців тому +6

      @@pri2x0x if she decides to no longer show her own children that is her right to do so. We don’t know who the other children are. Also, how do we know if she didn’t already ask the parents of those kids if it’s ok to show them online? I’m not keeping tabs on her so i don’t track her every move but people are worried too much about other people’s lives.

    • @pri2x0x
      @pri2x0x 5 місяців тому +7

      @pandalilili i think the answer youre scrambling desperately for is shes a hypocrite, concerned with the privacy of her own children but completely willing to exploit the privacy of others' children.

  • @NissaMaezHartman
    @NissaMaezHartman 7 місяців тому +84

    "..Or my daddy" and we all cringe and laugh. This whole video is icky.
    If you have to white knuckle everything all the time, maybe it's not something you need to be doing. Her sugary sweet monologue sounds like it's covering bitterness. Just my take. 😢

    • @caseyw.6550
      @caseyw.6550 7 місяців тому +14

      Thank you! These puritan beliefs about suffering just won't quit.

  • @spatulaoblangata
    @spatulaoblangata 7 місяців тому +186

    First of all, if you're in an abusive relationship you should leave, don't put up with that. Now with that out of the way, here's the most godly way to submit to a covertly abusive situation

    • @victorial8764
      @victorial8764 7 місяців тому +4

      Scary and true. ❤

    • @Frugalista77
      @Frugalista77 7 місяців тому +2

      Are you saying Milena is in an abusive relationship?

    • @anahis1307
      @anahis1307 6 місяців тому +4

      @@Frugalista77i have felt that before!

    • @186itaalia
      @186itaalia 5 місяців тому

      😂 you got it!

    • @anahis1307
      @anahis1307 5 місяців тому

      @@186itaalia there’s literally tons of people who feel the same. Look it up.

  • @azlinhope1339
    @azlinhope1339 7 місяців тому +28

    The amount of young women who have adapted this mentality is concerning

  • @hayleymelissa5431
    @hayleymelissa5431 7 місяців тому +87

    The face you made when she said to call your husband “daddy” in the middle of a fight literally made me laugh out loud!! I had the same reaction 🙈😂

  • @ravenwaves8640
    @ravenwaves8640 7 місяців тому +66

    As an ex-fundie, I find these reaction videos on submission cathartic. For me personally, I think her view is rigid and restricting and the practical tips are more how to treat anyone you are in a relationship with.... nobody likes a backseat driver. I was actually wondering if her husband is a backseat driver and if she'd put up with it if he was. Her view also helps me realize how harmful those teachings were to me years ago and how much, imo, they reinforced and showed me how to, unknowingly, view myself as an object in so many nuanced and detailed ways. What a mind fuck truly it was for me and I'm still purging those mindsets!

  • @peachtrees_
    @peachtrees_ 7 місяців тому +28

    My win for the week was, after 1 year of sacrificing for a very long commute to work in a territory far from my home I was able to land a transfer to a territory closer to me! Everyone told me it would be a slim chance when I started but I got it! now I get to have more time back for myself to start working out again 😊

  • @summerbummer1930
    @summerbummer1930 7 місяців тому +59

    My ex's parents had (past tense because he passed away) this dynamic in their marriage, where dad made all the decisions and rules. The way they executed it though was...odd. They wouldn't argue in front of the children at all. Like literally at all. So whenever she wanted to voice an opinion contrary to his, they would go hide in their bedroom, muffle the sound by cramming a blanket or something in the bottom door gap, and whisper argue. He (my ex) said multiple times they as kids would try and eavesdrop on their arguments, couldn't hear a thing. He said it was a very strange process getting to adulthood and realizing he had virtually no conflict resolution skills because his parents kept them all so hush hush, and they'd emerge doing whatever Dad said anyway. And whenever the siblings fought it just resulted in at least one of them being abused. Obviously it's not the most harmful way a submissive marriage can potentially affect someone, but it's a possibility.

    • @sk22-12
      @sk22-12 7 місяців тому +8

      I feel him. My parents were not religious and none was more submissive, but they never argued or disagree in front of me. I'm an only child so they never helped me process a conflict with a sibling or anything like that. It was very hard growing up and I had to work on that all alone while I was also trying to control the raging hormones of the teenage years. It made my life way more difficult than if they would have talked from time to time about things they disagree about (whatever that is).

  • @ChronicallyTT
    @ChronicallyTT 7 місяців тому +88

    Her disclaimer in the beginning means nothing when you think of the complexities of emotional and psychological abuse. If she believes that submission to the husband MUST happen, this idea can be twisted in ways that one may not see as abusive. The submission things is inherently a recipe for disaster when you consider coercive control and emotional abuse.
    Ephesians 5:22 can be used to justify emotional neglect ("I don't want to hear anymore about how you feel about..." for example), gaslighting (when submission is justified as "biblical," gaslighting is obviously going o occur), judgemental attitudes ("that outfit is immodest, I want you to change" is a possibility).
    I hate the idea of submission, period. It's not healthy and inherently abusive.

    • @aliceindiscoland
      @aliceindiscoland 7 місяців тому +18

      also if you're not supposed to keep any records of your partner's wrongdoings, how are you ever going to see that they're abusive?

    • @jennimoss4747
      @jennimoss4747 7 місяців тому +6

      I CAN NOT emphasize/agree with this more. I got into a terrible marriage and my way of coping was hiding within these ideas of submissiveness. My ex was psychologically/mentally/emotionally abusive long before he was ever physically. I was the ideal biblical wife to my ex husband and that was his narcissistic dream. This video was extremely triggering ha.

    • @danielladaurizio9692
      @danielladaurizio9692 3 місяці тому

      I don't like the idea of submission either because when people talk about it, it's always on the woman to submit to her husband, they never say how the man should submit to her as well. It's never in a positive healthy way.
      Like no...this is a partnership. Not a master/servant thing. Both should submit to each other, you serve each other, you listen to each other, you respect each other, you take each other's opinions and feedback into account.

  • @amygreen9662
    @amygreen9662 7 місяців тому +19

    You know it is possible to ask your hubby for help in a respectful way. We both work. I like to cook, and he washes the pots and pans. When I have a tough day at work, I tell him and ask him and the teenagers to help get dinner together.

  • @amtm94
    @amtm94 7 місяців тому +88

    "naturally my flesh wants to talk... And I have to die to myself every single day" is the fundy woman's "I have no mouth and I must scream"

  • @TenaciousP
    @TenaciousP 7 місяців тому +18

    I have been married for 33 years - I have never heard so much garbage in my life.

  • @meganevans1673
    @meganevans1673 7 місяців тому +56

    Just a heads up, the children in her first submission video are her own kids. I’ve been “following” her for years and those are definitely her kids, I don’t know why people would think they are not lol.

    • @lisatheis3380
      @lisatheis3380 7 місяців тому +3

      Same and I totally agree!

    • @marisanelsey
      @marisanelsey 7 місяців тому +11

      I do know that the one that had the face shown in that video isn’t hers. She did mention in either another video or an instagram story that she was babysitting for a friend that day. But yeah, all the other ones are hers.

    • @lisatheis3380
      @lisatheis3380 7 місяців тому +1

      Thanks for clarification! :)

    • @granolamomie
      @granolamomie 7 місяців тому +3

      I watched her starting 7 years ago or so and she always showed her kids

    • @spacebar9733
      @spacebar9733 7 місяців тому

      ​@@granolamomie we both watch style thoughts by Rita !!! Hi. 🧁

  • @theoriginalpandanon
    @theoriginalpandanon 7 місяців тому +27

    I feel so bad that these women don’t think there can be harmony in a marriage without submission. I am a sahm of 2 girls, 2 and 6 months. We have a great relationship and partnership because we see each other as partners and friends first. And communication can not be underestimated.
    Also the number of times she talks about being mean to your husband. Never. I have never been mean to my husband. Why would I be married to someone that I would treat so poorly.

  • @jennahart84
    @jennahart84 7 місяців тому +63

    I love how she reads in 1 Peter 3, where it says wives can love their husbands through their actions, NOT through "outward adornments, braided hair and gold jewelry" and then one minute she tells us that we need to do our hair and makeup so husband can come home to "a hot wife that he loves" 🤮 MY husband loves me regardless of what I look like. He, like God, considers my heart above all else. Seems like my husband is probably more godly than Milena's 👀🤔

    • @jasminekalinchuk1693
      @jasminekalinchuk1693 6 місяців тому +10

      It says, "Do not let your adornment be MERELY outward..." merely means "just only." So don't only let your adornment be outwards, but also inwards. Matthew 7 also says not to judge others, or you too will be judged.

    • @uhohstinky5850
      @uhohstinky5850 6 місяців тому +4

      You misread and misinterpreted what she said and what the scripture says bud

    • @jennifert5120
      @jennifert5120 6 місяців тому +8

      You’re on here gossiping about another sister in Christ. What’s Godly about that?

    • @angel-fk6rn
      @angel-fk6rn 6 місяців тому +1

      @@jennifert5120exactly, may her heart repent. ❤

    • @jennahart84
      @jennahart84 5 місяців тому

      @@jennifert5120 I responded to what she said in her video. That's not gossip but nice try!

  • @amycnews1593
    @amycnews1593 7 місяців тому +27

    It is a 2-way street! “Do unto others as you would have done to you” is also in the freaking Bible. She’s infuriating. Women alone can’t do it all. Men alone can’t do it all… that’s why we have help, relationships, etc. marriage or not… humans need other humans. 🙄😒 Where’s the accountability for the men?!

    • @khubbs5660
      @khubbs5660 7 місяців тому +4

      Well you're not going to find it in a video talking about what women should do... Because it's not about what the men should be doing? Perhaps look up something like "how to be a biblical husband" etc.... just a tip.

  • @cortney3798
    @cortney3798 7 місяців тому +21

    I can’t. I am an equal. I pull more money, I raise the kids, I take care of the house. He’s lucky af, as so am I 😂 I can’t compute this concept in my brain. I’ll never be less then

  • @ew5301
    @ew5301 7 місяців тому +53

    Omg “Naturally I want to talk and I want to make my opinion known”. And the problem is what? If you aren’t then you are in an abusive relationship. She is brainwashed and abused

    • @spacebar9733
      @spacebar9733 7 місяців тому

      If a man can't defend himself then should he really be leading

  • @InterIdoru
    @InterIdoru 7 місяців тому +14

    She is spending entirely too much time washing that tiny fry pan. I can not imagine spending 20 minutes on a tiny pan while my perfectly curled hair is down and my golden bracelets hit my wrists.

  • @gracetaylor6309
    @gracetaylor6309 7 місяців тому +14

    Re: Milena messing up words- I think her native language is Portuguese and her parents are not native English speakers so she is bilingual. I think she sometimes gets English words and phrases confused or slightly off because it’s not her family of origin’s primary language. It’s been pretty consistent over time, not new.

  • @naomi9449
    @naomi9449 7 місяців тому +65

    Good lord! When I watched Milena back in the day I would have NEVER thought this would be her. Giiirrrrrllll the way I was bothered the whole time. Like girl you have rights sister! Being oppressed/subservient to man is NOT SUBMISSION. Girl I’m not a punching bag you gotta find somebody else to do that.

    • @knjparadise
      @knjparadise 7 місяців тому +9

      i used to watch her occasionally as well. shocked but not surprised that she has gone down the fundie path

    • @uhohstinky5850
      @uhohstinky5850 6 місяців тому +1

      are you married?

  • @4niasomnia573
    @4niasomnia573 7 місяців тому +21

    My win for the week is that I got hired on for a permanent position!
    Her warning about the abuse makes me sad. Not because it’s a bad thing to decide you aren’t going to put up with abuse, but because she goes on to perpetuate elements of psychological and emotional abuse and say THAT is okay to put up with. I don’t actually hear her say that the wife deserves respect as well. Both elements in a relationship are worthy of respect, not just the husband.
    And the whole making herself presentable for her husband…Girl, you should make yourself presentable BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD. There are so many times when I was starting to hop back on the Depresso Expresso that a shower and a presentable outfit helped me to not punch that ticket. But you should also be able to give yourself the grace to admit that you aren’t feeling it and your husband should love and respect you enough to be okay with you not feeling it.

  • @scribzscribbles
    @scribzscribbles 7 місяців тому +15

    Unfortunately, I think this type of submissive woman is letting the enemy win rather than lose like she believes. Because these terms are so broad, because men are socialized to think less of women, and this thinking and behavior lets women think less of themselves as well, it isn’t what God wants but rather what the devil wants.

  • @michaiahs
    @michaiahs 7 місяців тому +22

    Watching videos about these Fundy Christian marriages makes me very happy to be married to the man that im married to.

  • @stephq472
    @stephq472 6 місяців тому +19

    I am a God-fearing, Christ following wife and mother. I’ve followed Milena for a couple of years now (btw lover her). I’ve also seen her spiritual shift in her weekly videos, as you pointed out at the beginning. Even though I am a fan of her, her family and her content, Lately I find myself disagreeing quite a bit with her specifically with the way she describes Christianity and how drastic she portrays some things. She has the best intentions. It just comes off a bit extreme. Specially to women who may be more naïve when it comes to the word of God. But hey, if this is the lifestyle she’s happy with kudos to her. I just think she should put a bit more context When it comes to these types of videos. She should make it important to also point out that this is what she does in her marriage and spiritual journey. Not everyone’s walk with Christ looks the same. The important thing here is that we all have the same destination.

  • @drowningindeepblue
    @drowningindeepblue 7 місяців тому +16

    I saw another comment that mentioned this, but when she speaks on what women do and how women treat their husbands (according to her), her words just drip with scorn.
    It sounds like she resents other women to me - which isn't an uncommon narrative in fundamentalist culture. Normally it angers me, but for some reason in her case, it makes me sad to hear. I can't imagine how she's been treated or what she's been told to make her view herself and other women so harshly.

  • @rivendells_shona
    @rivendells_shona 7 місяців тому +16

    Milena: “All we have to do on judgment day is account for whether or not we submitted to our husbands.”
    Tell me, how’d that go for Sapphira?
    On the flip side of that coin, how do you think it’s going for Zipporah, or Abigail?
    Did Deborah not teach men? Were all her prophecies and judgments in submission to her husband first?
    “Well those were in Old Testament times.”
    Great! So you’re saying God changes, then?…

    • @granolamomie
      @granolamomie 7 місяців тому +2

      Yes! I’ve been in the fundie spaces for years and always bring these up and they hate these. I’ve also heard about sapphira that “she should have chosen a better man” 😢

    • @rivendells_shona
      @rivendells_shona 7 місяців тому +3

      @@granolamomie oh good grief. Because women had ^so much choice^ in their spouses in that time and culture … 🙄. Do you ever wonder what these people are on?

  • @tuffaznailz13
    @tuffaznailz13 7 місяців тому +17

    My win for the week is that I'm getting back into journaling. I stopped altogether when I went to university, but I'm back to loving writing again.
    A few things that irked me about Milena’s video:
    1. Requiring the wife to
    submit to her husband was a punishment for Adam and Eve’s disobedience, not God’s perfect design for marriage. (In Genesis 2: 19, God said that Adam had dominion over everything he named, but he didn't name the woman Eve until after they disobeyed God in chapter 3: 20.)
    I believe that a true godly marriage (if you are so inclined) is one in which both spouses love, respect, and submit to *each other* and share familial/household responsibilities.
    2. The term ‘die to self’ irks me because it's nowhere in the Bible. Christians are called to *deny* themselves, meaning that we should not give in to base selfishness, materialism, cruelty, and depravity, which are not characteristics of Christ. It doesn't mean that we allow ourselves to be dominated without responding/defending ourselves out of a misguided sense of duty.
    I feel compassion for the women who were taught this because they don't know any other way and changing is difficult. However, the teaching that this is supposed to be the standard for everyone when it has only stifled the God-given inquisitiveness, leadership ability, and ambitions of so many Christian women breaks my heart.
    I appreciate your take on this topic because your responses are pragmatic, nuanced, logical, and compassionate.
    Great video as always!

  • @arielscrafting4965
    @arielscrafting4965 7 місяців тому +9

    Being with a man sounds exhausting. Also do men like women??? Orrrrr ??? So we are just helpers when married to a guy? Ima pass.

    • @CelestialBarbie
      @CelestialBarbie 7 місяців тому +1

      Omg I was thinking the same thing!

  • @TamedWildFierceRainbow
    @TamedWildFierceRainbow 7 місяців тому +16

    Being pure is so important it’s on her list twice so naturally she talks about it the least, gives 0 practical examples, and orders you to do the work she promised she has educated herself on enough to make this video about it…

  • @naomirg8273
    @naomirg8273 7 місяців тому +13

    The end there “all the 🚩 “ made my heart sad . It feels like she I s headed towards legalism. I don’t know anything about her but I don’t want that for anyone.

  • @thebjm1967
    @thebjm1967 7 місяців тому +11

    I feel like she talks a lot but says very little as in she’s just saying the same thing over and over in different ways.

  • @abbyz6767
    @abbyz6767 7 місяців тому +11

    Win for the week.
    After three weeks of kids not sleeping and being sick, they slept all night last night.

    • @caseyw.6550
      @caseyw.6550 7 місяців тому +2

      Girl, that is a WIN! Glad they're better!

  • @JustinW332
    @JustinW332 7 місяців тому +13

    Milena really needs to stop talking like the way she does things is the only right way to be in a marriage. She might not mean that for everyone, but it comes off that way. Especially since she's sharing this stuff publicly on a UA-cam channel. She's not going to just reach the people she's trying to. Different kinds of people from different walks are going to see her content and because of that, it's kinda dangerous to be an armchair Bible teacher. Again, Christian content creators, do some research if you don't have a degree or whatever, and don't be prescriptive. Don't push the beliefs of your denomination into it and tell people how to live. It's important to let the audience decide for themselves what to believe and what is good for them.

  • @caffeinatedangel
    @caffeinatedangel 7 місяців тому +14

    "It's so natural for us to nag our husbands" - speak for yourself.

    • @alexwyatt2911
      @alexwyatt2911 7 місяців тому +6

      From context (and deductive reasoning), it’s likely that the “nagging” is actually reasonable requests for her husband to complete the tasks necessary to take care of his children and his home. And those reasonable requests are likely made in a state of frustration and/or exasperation because it’s reasonable to expect an adult to do what’s necessary without prompting instead of them refraining from childcare and housework unless being actively managed by their spouse.
      Often, men/fathers will claim that they “help” with childcare or housework when their wives directly request their “help.” Meaning, that their wives are not only doing most of the housework and childcare (as well as likely having a separate job) but these men/fathers give their wives _another_ job which is to manage their husbands-an adult who, according to evangelical Christians, is the leader and head of household.
      Weird.

  • @thelearninghomemaker
    @thelearninghomemaker 7 місяців тому +5

    She has a history of postpartum depression and she expresses that she has struggled with selfishness and submission and gentleness and taming the tongue. And her husband has a history of getting distracted and taking forget to get from point a to point b. Or staying longer just because. He has expressed he has a struggle with time management (time blindness). And this has been a struggle in their marriage in the past.

  • @Clara-xk3uv
    @Clara-xk3uv 7 місяців тому +9

    Win for the week: uni classes started again this week and I just had a really long day, but now I'm settling down for dinner ready to watch a new B Haney video!

  • @thelearninghomemaker
    @thelearninghomemaker 7 місяців тому +18

    I don’t believe she’s saying her husband is free to live in sin. Her point is that even though our husbands aren’t perfect, we are still to be submissive. She’s highlighting character flaws and then giving actionable things we can do to still love and submit to them. She’s not giving husbands a free card.

    • @nicolemarie4216
      @nicolemarie4216 7 місяців тому +1

      Yep!

    • @thelearninghomemaker
      @thelearninghomemaker 6 місяців тому +3

      @@Raya-ir4tm absolutely! I do believe there are some like that as well and I it’s sad that some husbands are like that. But what I believe Milena is trying to point out is that the power isn’t within us. Our job isn’t to convict, that’s the Lord’s job. God has the power to power to convict and correct. And yes, your husband will hurt you the same way you will hurt your husband sometimes (emotionally) because we are sinful, fallen, imperfect people. Milena is encouraging us to direct the focus onto ourselves because we can only control ourselves, no one else. And she’s encouraging us to hand over the things out of control to the One who does have control-God.

  • @annawallace3383
    @annawallace3383 7 місяців тому +12

    B - you are such a vibe in this! The makeup, nails, hair, sweater! 😍

  • @hedgers2005
    @hedgers2005 7 місяців тому +6

    My win for the week is that i only had to go stress cry once when we started using a completely new computer system across not just my hospital but our entire region! It was a six month prep process and a looooooot went into it but it went incredibly smoothly (at least in our area). I'm relatively new to your channel but I love how you have such a balanced take on everything.

  • @NoNameNumberTwo
    @NoNameNumberTwo 7 місяців тому +6

    18:31 I don’t think she’s saying that he “gets” to act however he wants if his wife is not respecting him. I interpreted it as it would be his fleshly inclination to respond in an unkind way. But husbands are called to love their wives the way that Christ loved the church. A man teaching men about that passage would be saying the same thing as Milena-don’t do what your flesh wants to do-do what God calls you to do. If both people in a marriage are trying to be less selfish and more loving towards their spouse-that is more than likely going to make for a harmonious relationship.

  • @killing4mother
    @killing4mother 7 місяців тому +21

    Win of the week? Idk if it counts yet but I'm getting married next Friday! 😁🥰

    • @Clara-xk3uv
      @Clara-xk3uv 7 місяців тому +6

      Congrats!!

    • @BHaney
      @BHaney  7 місяців тому +2

      That is so exciting!! I hope your wedding is everything y’all hoped for and wanted 💛

  • @trustmaker1014
    @trustmaker1014 7 місяців тому +4

    "You didn't merry Jesus. Don't hold him to such high standards.
    But do put him abouve yourself while you hold yourself to these ridiculously high standards."
    So why don't we get to hold the husband to higher standards if they're meant to be of higher standing and we're meant to look up to them for guidance. That seems like the only appropriate time to hold a person to a higher standard.

  • @kaycheyenne3039
    @kaycheyenne3039 7 місяців тому +8

    Im not married whatsoever but I pray for a healthy relationship and Im praying for marriages that reflect what marriage should be in a wrong light. I view marriage as a partnership, and though I believe men and women have different roles in life, you can still come together and have a partnership built off the foundation of Christ and learn and grow together. I am learning what true respect and healthy relationships can look like, and though it is nice seeing someone talk about this stuff, it saddens (and frustrates) me when others don't see it.

  • @kaysharogers32
    @kaysharogers32 7 місяців тому +8

    I am genuinely curious as a non-religious bystander, how biblically submissive women handled the death of a spouse? If they have deferred to him in all things for decades, how then do they cope with having to be the sudden decision maker? This doesn't seem like a healthy way for an adult woman to behave, she mashes it sound almost like being in a perpetual state of childhood. I honestly don't get it.

    • @kailaleebabineau3962
      @kailaleebabineau3962 5 місяців тому

      It's not biblical. It's how sad men twist certain Bible verses to control women. The Bible calls for women to be involved in the greater economy outside of the home and are absolutely able to question and defy their husbands if they stray from virtue.

  • @martacapriola1340
    @martacapriola1340 7 місяців тому +8

    I am streaming this on my big TV and your eyeshadow is so pretty!! Also, thanks for the content!

  • @caseyw.6550
    @caseyw.6550 7 місяців тому +10

    Omg please don't tell me the family vloggers have decided that renting/borrowing children as UA-cam props is the solution to protecting their own kids' privacy. This can't be real. Yeah, girl...I can't get past that part either.

    • @user-qm3cw5zf8m
      @user-qm3cw5zf8m 7 місяців тому +2

      It’s not that serious. Her friends didn’t mind her kids being in her video so she didn’t take it out. Y’all are very dramatic.

  • @cortney3798
    @cortney3798 7 місяців тому +8

    She needs to give me the description of what a husband’s expectations and treatment of the wife is

    • @Annalise2203
      @Annalise2203 6 місяців тому

      Her husband made that video

  • @hispringtime
    @hispringtime 4 місяці тому +1

    “Are you treating your husband like the man you love most….or are you treating him like a stranger off the side of the road that you absolutely hate?”
    WHAT?!?!

  • @chariprice
    @chariprice 7 місяців тому +8

    All of her examples she gave of the interactions with her husband come across as her being a narcissist.

  • @emmadear3276
    @emmadear3276 7 місяців тому +6

    It sounds like Milena is telling us according to the bible, not only will you be a mom to children, you're commanded to be a mom to a grown man, too😅

  • @naomi9449
    @naomi9449 7 місяців тому +7

    I watched this on my lunch break and I was HEATED. I support women. But I don’t support being made to feel less than because I don’t subscribe to an interpretation of Bible. First of all I believe the mainstream interpretation of submission is wrong. But I’m not gonna go for blows over that. I just won’t be buying into it. Cause I’ve lived my life in a box I’m not doing with that someone I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with. I like to be joyful and not being who God created me to be is subjecting my life to hell. And that’s not where I’m going so I won’t be doing none of this foolishness

  • @Justkelseyagain
    @Justkelseyagain 7 місяців тому +33

    All I can think of is training dogs every time she says “submission” and “obedience”. Which is both hilarious and sad.

  • @hereinmyhead1979
    @hereinmyhead1979 7 місяців тому +11

    Hi! I've been binge watching your content for the last two days and just subscribed. I'm so glad I found you and wanted to tell you that I have extreme amounts of religious trauma from the christian religion. I watch a lot of the reaction videos of the problematic channels you cover. Because it feels safe and validating when people review them and point out the toxic and hurtful aspects. The fact that you identify from a Christian perspective( Whatever that faith journey and definition is for you) and are so balanced, intellectual and respectful gives me a lot of hope. Thank you for creating a safe space and for being you.
    Oh! My win for the week is getting a one hour massage!

  • @Meganec3810
    @Meganec3810 7 місяців тому +5

    Yay love your videos my win was not getting overwhelmed this week!

  • @breeyntinkle2549
    @breeyntinkle2549 7 місяців тому +11

    You might touch on it later but haven’t as I’m listening (had to come to the UA-cam video to comment as I was listening on Spotify 😂) but I am shocked and appalled and confused at the idea that women don’t understand the need to feel respected? Like what? That’s universal. You should absolutely feel that and expect your partner to respect you. So many positives build off of that. And so many negatives build off of not having respect, many veering into abusive behaviors.

    • @granolamomie
      @granolamomie 7 місяців тому +3

      Literally. It was from a book “love and respect” that has been pushed around in fundie spaces a lot. This idea that women can be disrespected even horribly so but need love. Like how can you love someone you don’t respect!?

    • @alexwyatt2911
      @alexwyatt2911 7 місяців тому +2

      @@granolamomie You hit the nail on the head. I always say that it’s impossible to love someone without respecting them. It’s possible to feel affection, desire, fondness, and/or appreciation for a person without respecting them. But love? No.

  • @marisanelsey
    @marisanelsey 7 місяців тому +7

    My win for the week is that I started training today for a promotion at work I recently got 🎉

    • @BHaney
      @BHaney  7 місяців тому

      Congratulations on your promotion! I hope your training goes well 💛

  • @livvy066
    @livvy066 7 місяців тому +9

    Yes please keep reacting!!!! I like Milena but also some things she says make me question things. Love hearing your point of view.

    • @granolamomie
      @granolamomie 7 місяців тому +3

      I used to love her content but she’s moved further down this fundie line and it’s harder

    • @spacebar9733
      @spacebar9733 7 місяців тому +2

      ​@@granolamomie same here. Im not christian but she made good content but now it's increasingly harmful.

    • @uhohstinky5850
      @uhohstinky5850 6 місяців тому

      Is this person married?

  • @ruthie8726
    @ruthie8726 7 місяців тому +5

    Familiarity breeds contempt and children.
    --Mark Twain
    That's what came to mind when you were speaking about familiarity.
    It's important in intimate relationships to make sure that just because one person is so familiar with the other other person that they disrespect, forget about, or take them for granted, or take advantage of them.
    For me, that is one way that familiarity can be bad/dangerous.
    However, thankfully this can be prevented if both/all parties in the relationship are taking steps to actively respect one another's boundaries.

  • @kristenbarho7463
    @kristenbarho7463 7 місяців тому +4

    48:07 One of the less talked about signs of an abusive relationship is when a partner drives recklessly and does not take your safety or comfort into account. Regardless of what your relationship is with a person, whether it's a friend or family member or romantic partner, you should be able to provide feedback if you are concerned about their driving. Your life is in their hands. If you tell them something they're doing makes you uncomfortable or unsafe, they should be able to respect that and make changes to make sure you feel safe. If they get angry with you for wanting to feel safe, that's concerning. Now, there's obviously good and not so great ways to provide this feedback, so we should be mindful of how we're giving feedback, but we should be allowed to give this feedback.

  • @StarryEyedCece
    @StarryEyedCece 7 місяців тому +10

    59:55 Who is ‘the enemy’?? The devil?? She makes it sound like a bitter ex waiting for her marriage to fall apart 😂.

    • @alexwyatt2911
      @alexwyatt2911 7 місяців тому

      She goes on to say that the enemy is “really threatened” by a submissive wife. Um, why? Wouldn’t that dynamic actually make it easier for “the enemy” to “attack” a marriage? “The enemy” would only have to lead the husband down the wrong path instead of the husband and wife who is allowed to be a vocal equal in leadership and decision-making within the family. Misogynistic crap never makes sense.

  • @AliviaMiley
    @AliviaMiley 6 місяців тому +7

    I believe you are being overly judgmental. You don’t need to have the same viewpoints or perspectives but I picked up from your commentary and reactions that you are knit-picking points she is making..

  • @alyssarappe
    @alyssarappe 7 місяців тому +8

    I just recently found you B, and really appreciate how you analyze videos. It feels less judgmental than the Dad Challenge Podcast (however he is quite hilarious in his snarking). To answer your question about Milena having trouble pronouncing words - she often does this. She’s talked about it before. But it is definitely more apparent in this video😅

  • @alexapricee
    @alexapricee 6 місяців тому +6

    I feel that you are asking valid questions but most of this video was nitpicking every she says, wears, how she speaks. I watched this same video and understood the message she was trying to convey, nothing was confusing or offensive. It threw me a bit off guard when you went as far as saying that she “borrowed” someone else’s kids for a video? A very odd assumption.

  • @sarakalske9918
    @sarakalske9918 7 місяців тому +3

    Those children that shows in her videos ARE HERS. I don’t know who it was telling they’re not but yes they are. For some reason she chose not to show her kids faces anymore. She said that sometimes kids will show on her videos but she won’t show their faces anymore.

  • @kociaarkadia
    @kociaarkadia 7 місяців тому +8

    I love your makeup! My win for the week is my new breakfast routine with cappuccino and croissants :D

  • @britthalaas
    @britthalaas 7 місяців тому +9

    My win: I released my debut novel this week 😁😁😁

    • @marisanelsey
      @marisanelsey 7 місяців тому +3

      So exciting! What’s it called and where can we get it?

    • @britthalaas
      @britthalaas 7 місяців тому +1

      @@marisanelsey it's called Deep Water and it's available on Amazon and B&N online 😁

    • @nicolemarie4216
      @nicolemarie4216 7 місяців тому +1

      Big win!!

  • @jennimoss4747
    @jennimoss4747 7 місяців тому +45

    That was horrific ha. I wonder about her bizarre assumptions (ie. woman naturally are controlling & nagging etc.) and examples (her talking her husbands ear off). I was in an abusive relationship for about 10 years where I coped by diving deep into the trad wife lifestyle and honestly now that I’ve been in therapy for 3 years and I’ve had an opportunity to reflect on that time in my life I’m kind of just left speechless by that video. I can’t believe I lived that lifestyle for as long as I did. Now that I’m in a healthy relationship I realize how easy it is to not nag or control when I have a kind and caring partner ha. Like I don’t need to tame my tongue because we have mutual love and respect for each other. Relationships are NOT supposed to be that kind of hard. My heart aches for her.

    • @sk22-12
      @sk22-12 7 місяців тому +1

      Yeah, I also felt like she was telling on herself... It's okay to have issues, you just need to adress the issues at the root, not to struggle throught something else, in my honest opinion.

  • @kp-da
    @kp-da 7 місяців тому +6

    Win for the week, I made gumbo (veggie, shrimp and sausage) for the first time on Wednesday and it turned out really good✨ yesterday I made a grilled cheese and warmed up some tomato soup😋 I'm in soup mode lol ❤

  • @mxflint1715
    @mxflint1715 7 місяців тому +5

    My win for the week is that i finally got a fishtank and set it up with all the plants and stuff and that in a month or so i can put the fish in!!

  • @4thDan
    @4thDan 7 місяців тому +1

    WFTW: Got to go to Twin Cities Con and met three actors from one of my favorite movies ("Clerks"), as well as seeing and talking with friends I hadn't seen for some time.
    B, your reaction to the "daddy" comment...Priceless! My jaw almost hit the keyboard when she said that as well!

  • @knjparadise
    @knjparadise 7 місяців тому +6

    my win for the week is that my sister gifted me new headphones

  • @angelicadiaz4616
    @angelicadiaz4616 6 місяців тому +26

    The difference between you and her is that she speaks from the understanding that the holy spirit has given her. You only speak of what you think and what you think is correct based on your life experiences. We need to let go of what we think and what we are accustomed to and start asking the holy spirit for understanding and true transformation. God bless you.

    • @Velenty.Mauricia
      @Velenty.Mauricia 6 місяців тому +4

      This!! 🙌🏼 once you receive understanding from the Holy Spirit it all makes sense and you know that she is not perfect and still human

    • @angelicadiaz4616
      @angelicadiaz4616 6 місяців тому

      Exactly we are still in the hands of the potter and we are being transformed as seemed best to him. We have no say in what we think is right or wrong. I love the book of Job when God confronts Job and tells him all God is in control of this helped open my eyes and now I find it funny how we mere humans like to fight with the maker thinking we know best. I pray for all who read this that God may have mercy on us and give us understanding and true wisdom to fully understand his word.@@Velenty.Mauricia

    • @StonedHunter
      @StonedHunter 5 місяців тому +1

      Ok then how come no one can seem to agree about what the holy spirit actually says? How come the bible constantly contradicts itself in what it tells people to do and be? It's easy to THINK you're understanding something, it's a lot harder to be honest with the fact that you don't actually know.

    • @kailaleebabineau3962
      @kailaleebabineau3962 5 місяців тому

      Taking the Lord's name in vain isn't just about swear words. Beware those who claim to speak for God with no authority.

    • @angelicadiaz4616
      @angelicadiaz4616 3 місяці тому

      @@StonedHunter It's not contradicting at all. It says the same thing over and over. That is confirmation from the Lord. The Bible was written over a time laps of 1500 years with over 40 authors and they all agree with each other. You can read the prophets like Isaiah and then read the New Testament and see how it's all the same. Never once does the Bible contradict itself because it was inspired by God and he is perfect and divine. I encourage you to do a short prayer before you read the bible (don't judge until you've read all of it). Say Lord please help me understand your word, and have it be like the seed that is planted in good soil, and help it bear good fruit at its time. - Hope this helps, Good bless you!

  • @hopepoortenga8249
    @hopepoortenga8249 6 місяців тому +3

    I’ve watched and listened to Milena’s UA-cam videos/podcast on and off for a few years and I always thought that 1. Nothing that her or her husband said ever really made sense, they would just constantly read bible verses with no explanation. And 2. She does struggle with her speech and has mentioned that in her podcast many times.
    I think that she means well, but this just shows you that some people should be the one teaching scripture and others should listen. So glad that you made this video because I thought I was the only one who thought this way about her!

  • @AlayneAdelaide
    @AlayneAdelaide 7 місяців тому

    Hello! Thanks for another great analysis.
    My win for the week- I have a long weekend and I took a lovely nap today. 😊

  • @lynch9184
    @lynch9184 7 місяців тому +3

    My husband always calls me something sweet when I’m upset/we’re disagreeing, And I have to say, it just makes me more annoyed 😂😂

  • @KewBlinkla
    @KewBlinkla 7 місяців тому +4

    She’s always spoken like this, I think it’s possibly a touch of dyslexia because it’s common for her to mix up words or say them in the wrong order or mispronounce them even when they’re simple.

  • @anaraStar975
    @anaraStar975 7 місяців тому +3

    How is a gentle spirit equated to gentle guarded words? These are two different things someone can have gentle, guarded words, and have very non gentle spirit, I believe.

  • @jennamcmains6247
    @jennamcmains6247 7 місяців тому +4

    So if I don’t respect my husband he won’t feel protective of me???? That’s so sad that she thinks that

  • @misssashleyrae
    @misssashleyrae 7 місяців тому +2

    I'm with you on the weather! I live in Taipei and I've been desperately wanting cooler weather as well, but it's stayed in the 90s for a long time. It's cooler today and I hope it stays that way. I want to wear big, cozy sweaters!

  • @jessica-jr1uc
    @jessica-jr1uc 7 місяців тому +3

    Yes. You are absolutely right that is what she is saying in 18 mins. We are only accountable for what we do in this life. Our job is to fulfill the role God has for us, therefore we should do it regardless of how our husbands are fulfilling their role. Our husbands will be held accountable for what they do and don’t do.

    • @jessica-jr1uc
      @jessica-jr1uc 6 місяців тому +1

      @@Raya-ir4tmactually, biblically, your husband is expected to lead, love, provide protect and even give up his life for you (if it comes to that). Yes. I wouldn’t settle for anything less. That’s why it’s very important to only date seriously with the goal of marriage. All the examples we see in society have been distorted by sin. Make sure you look to the Bible for real answers not people, we are all faulty.

  • @SuperElise92
    @SuperElise92 7 місяців тому +5

    I think alot of what she is saying would be good if it wasn't gendered. Both men and women should be loved and respected. No one likes it if their partner is really critical, not just men. Everyone likes a homecooked meal at the end of the day, not just men. Rarr!
    This kind of paints her husband in a bad light tbh

  • @Diana-ue9tt
    @Diana-ue9tt 7 місяців тому +11

    I just wanted to say; the kids in the first part are definitely hers. It's one thing to do a reaction video towards one of her videos but please don't spread lies about her. Those are her kids. If you are not completely sure then just don't say anything at all. She can come across as a bit extreme but let's remember were all sisters in christ and submission for her might look a bit different than for someone else. Submission is biblical if used in a healthy and loving relationship, of course. And submission doesn't mean that you don't have a say or a part in making decisions for your family. If you don't like her then don't watch her videos.

    • @mayliceleste
      @mayliceleste 6 місяців тому +1

      I’ve been scrolling to find this comment!!! Yess like do you not have a life? I’m sure Mi is a good servant and obedient to the lord I don’t understand why people think it’s okay to bash on others

  • @StealingTimeAtWork
    @StealingTimeAtWork 2 місяці тому

    I realize that as an atheist I have a different perspective on this but "If you have a problem with your husband's behavior you should prvately ask the god of all creation to fix it rather than, you know, talking to your husband" is giving me massive brainworms energy.

  • @cinaprncess
    @cinaprncess 7 місяців тому +3

    32:10 see this is one of the things that frustrates me.
    I work from home and my husband works out of the home.
    And he believes that I should do all the home things since I work from home.
    But we’ve worked on it and have divided the chores in the home. We both contribute to our household financially. And we both live here as well. Not all women are SAHM.

  • @marleneflanagan7137
    @marleneflanagan7137 7 місяців тому +3

    Win for the week, my daughter and I have convinced my husband to clean out the garage (we will help, of course). We used the lure of working on his golf cart over the winter!

  • @faithstephen8752
    @faithstephen8752 7 місяців тому +3

    I would like to mention how it’s very sad and absurd to me that she mentioned how wives lack “self control” when it comes not nagging the husband, yet these group of Christian influences preach so heavily against modesty because the men can’t control their lustful desires …😅wow okay!

  • @aliceindiscoland
    @aliceindiscoland 7 місяців тому +5

    hold up, i thought wives were to respect their husbands and husbands are to love their wives. if that's the case, then shouldn't those verses from 1 corinthians 13 be even more important and relevant for husbands??

  • @MsKatze
    @MsKatze 7 місяців тому +16

    Watching this stuff makes me so happy to be a Catholic raised atheist! Fundamentalists make Catholics look downright normal. I feel sorry for people raised like that!

  • @theabbychronicles-p
    @theabbychronicles-p 7 місяців тому +5

    I bought yarn from Michaels to make gifts for the holidays is my win for the week

  • @jennamcmains6247
    @jennamcmains6247 7 місяців тому +3

    I screamed when she said “daddy”

  • @zaahidamc3784
    @zaahidamc3784 7 місяців тому +2

    My win for the week is that I got my period! Idk what’s wrong with my body but it’s been gone for over two months 🤷‍♀️

  • @cayleycausey8512
    @cayleycausey8512 7 місяців тому +3

    Win for the week: I’m running a half marathon tomorrow, this is my second in 4 weeks! I’m really excited about it.

    • @alexwyatt2911
      @alexwyatt2911 7 місяців тому

      How’d it go? Was the half marathon fun??
      Edit: changed “run” to “fun”

  • @tamaratellez8186
    @tamaratellez8186 6 місяців тому +4

    This makes me really sad, I used to really like watching Milena as a Christian wife myself because I used to believe she gave good advise but lately and now with these videos it all seems so twisted. This all seems manipulative and like it’s not coming from her heart, this seems to be coming from another source that doesn’t have her best interest at heart

  • @MoreCoffeePlease.
    @MoreCoffeePlease. 7 місяців тому +3

    19:44 “Adams kinda, ya’ know, doin’ his thing…” Me: OHH! Like video games?!?
    (Ya’ll, this video is trying me. 😂)