8 autism traits in girls & women, explained by an autistic woman⎥AUTISM IN GIRLS 🤗
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- Опубліковано 14 жов 2024
- Hi! I'm Kathlena, a late diagnosed autistic woman. This video briefly covers 8 autistic traits commonly seen in girls and women but is definitely not limited to females. These are traits that anyone on the spectrum can experience. I also explain how these traits look in my day to day life.
Be sure to follow me on instagram- @vergentme/
1. Overexplaining
2. Anxiety in social settings
3. Blunt, rude, uninterested, speaking out of turn or shy and inappropriately quiet
4. Difficult to understand and explain feelings
5. Take things literally
6. Strong sensitivity to sensory input OR not sensitive enough
7. Special interests can become consuming and can change often
8. Mimic characteristics of others we admire
Point 3, both! Not "or", it is "and", just not at same time.
@@joycebrewer4150 for me it’s “or”
Great topic and great job presenting it. I’m 70 years old and will probably never pursue an official diagnosis because at this point in my life I’ve learned to navigate fairly well, but I identify with pretty much all of the traits you mentioned. Channels such as yours have been a valuable resource.
I’m headed to Mayo to start the process of diagnosis, age 67!
I am a 73 yo woman and I feel this way too. Have you found any other youtube vids re: autistic older women?
@@dianeqinlv Which Mayo? I was turned down for Mayo Jacksonville FL because cut-off age is 60. Like who cares about old women with autism?
I am only recently saying autism.
For a while, a year? I was saying "aspergers", Not autism. Now I am saying autism, because Because why? Because that is the category of diagnosis.
Maybe it is just these things:
High sensory problems. Sound and irritation. Clothing. Taste, texture, "picky eating".
Sensory-processing "abnormalities".
I refuse to let anyone call it a disease or a disorder. It is a neurodiversity.
And I have had anxiety amd depression most of my life.
Other than that I feel fine!
Ha! I have a sense of humor.
So do I have autism, like the four online tests I took have indicated?
@@lindaclairesartori also- have you watched/read anything by /from Tony Atwood? He’s the guru of women & Aspergers imo. Temple Grandin’s (sp?) done some Ted Talks & lectures that are interesting, and it’s a good example of personality difference amongst asd1 women - she’s very “sciencey & logical”, while I can come across as “silly & girly”, annoying at my age, but when I try to be “serious” I look angry……. Oy!
@@lindaclairesartori oh gosh, I typed an entire reply & think I forgot to hit the send button! 😬 Sorry! I am heading to Mayo AZ, but it’s turning out to be a little harder than I thought….. my doc here got my referral goofed up, so we will see. Supposedly it does not matter if it is an MD that does the diagnosis. I am pursuing this bc of my know it all husb & doc. I have a diagnosis from a therapist I was talking to for kid issues. Have you talked to a person like that that is familiar w autism. Have you taken the tests online? There’s lots. Answer honestly, the first time I answered w my “nice voice” LOL & tested positive, then I realized how wishy washy my answers were, aligned dead center like the fence sitting observer that I am, re took it & was even more on the spectrum! Of course! Weird they have a cut off at Jax, I guess they figure at this age if we are kinda ok it’s good enough! If Mr Genius wasn’t around I’d probably just go w my therapist’s opinion. I am one of the “social ones” and bc of that I get some pushback on the ASD. Because I make eye contact I get pushback, but they don’t know I had a dad that, while not knowing I had ASD, forced me to make eye contact while hollering “look at me when I’m talking to you”! So I guess I got more used to it. At least I recognize that it’s what you’re supposed to do when you’re addressed by the “authority in the room.”🤷🏻♀️. Keep in touch if you like, happy to exchange experiences. Most of the gals here are younger, but there are a few out of their teens! Also, there is online counseling I think through AANE, Asperger/Autism Network. www.aane.org/. Keep in touch if you like! I’m hoping to be in FL in May for sister in law’s 70th, they are in Palm Coast. I believe it’s about and hour from Jax where I intend to go to look at future “retirement” communities! I could use a pal w the “skinny” on those places, LOL! That Jimmy B community in Daytona is sounding pretty good right now! Coconut Margarita anyone?🧉
I have weird arguments due to misunderstandings. 😔 I'll say something I didn't think was that bad but the other person gets very offended. Deep down I know I should probably just apologize for hurting them and need to learn that, but in the moment, I'm confused because I don't understand why they got hurt when I didn't think I was being mean 😓
I will do that and find myself back tracking, trying to further explain what I meant. More often than not, I feel like I dig myself deeper. 🤦🏼♀️
Yea it's a realy anoying one:/. I always over explain what i mean because i think people don't understand what i mean and then some people say i don't have to be deffensive when im not trying to be.
The worst is when you feel yourself over explaining and can't stop it
This happens to me all the time and it makes the other person just think I’m an arrogant bitch. 😢
Story of my life. I over explain everything, as to not be misunderstood... then I get misunderstood anyway, and I just exhausted myself over explaining for no reason 😭
I haven’t been told I’m rude much by strangers but my family and some close friends used to always call me out on being rude or blunt. I’m absolutely a people pleaser/afraid of conflict so I think when I’m around people I don’t know super well, even good friends, I’m much more quiet and worried I’ll say the wrong thing. I’ve actually been told by strangers I’m very “easy to like” bc I’m “nice” (and quiet), but those same people call me aloof as well. I do heavily mask around those people (I try to mask around close friends and family too so they don’t think I’m being rude, but less so).
Strangers don't say I'm rude either and for the same reason. I'm trying to give less fucks about comments that I'm rude or blunt... it's a work in progress.
I heavy relate to this
Rude, I remember getting interrupted in my special interest when a volunteer knocked, dogs went off, I had to answer the door and I was so rude in telling them I'm not interested.
Sensory issues have always been present for me. In my case, I am extremely sensitive to sound and touch, both in terms of textures and physical contact. Growing up, I was actually quite hyposensitive to light, and I could spend hours over the course of a day staring into light bulbs (i also enjoyed seeing the filament inside).
That alongside my social issues is really what led to me trying to find information about autism, and it has been quite an interesting ride. There's nothing quite like realizing your entire life could make so much more sense with just one piece of information
We are anxious, because we think we are going to be judged then attacked, thats the reason.
Getting a diagnosis for autism is extremely difficult especially if you are a woman and older. Oftentimes young autistic girls are overlooked and just thought to be a little quirky
The strong sensitivity to sounds, scents and textures is something I relate to.
i always need to have ear plugs in. i basically turn my room into a cave and highly dislike going outside in the summer due to sensory problems. sweating and having exposed body parts is a nightmare for me. i was a selective mute growing up wouldn’t talk at school and then scream when i got home. then if i knew i was getting driven to the mall or carnival i would often get stomach sick because of sensory hell. i also was thrown out of high school my senior year because i was always hiding in the bathroom and they saw that as rebellious. yeah. i hope things change for girls on the spectrum asap.
Relatable. Carnivals, boardwalks, birthday parties, dance recital. Felt like pure hell. The dread and extreme nervousness before any of them was so overwhelming to the point of physical ailments. I too was kicked out senior year for skipping because being at school felt too overwhelming. I had no friends and it felt like torture to be around constant commotion. I cry looking back and wondering how my life could have been enjoyable if someone picked up on what was going on. I pray for future girls. And that we all get through this alien life we’ve been given
My daughter at 17 yrs old just got Diagnosed higher level than we thought. She is very smart but procrastinate a lot. I need to help her every day to keep her world from falling down around her. She is alway overwhelmed and having anxiety. In another video hearing you having similar autistic trails and having some of the thing taking care of direct deposit, robot vacuum. That is a great idea. Thank you
just diagnosed with ADHD/Autism at age 24! Your voice and mannerism are so relaxing to listen to if that makes sense. And connected to every single one of your points!
All of them! Only I copied and then somehow pasted it in the wrong situations, so I was still weird 😂
Teachers always told me I'm rude, even when I really didn't intend to be. I feel like that's cause there is supposed to be a hierarchy between adults and children that I couldn't see.
Great video ❤️
Yea i always just tell people i can come across as rude or mean without meaning to. The other thing i tell them is that im very oblivious and alot of the times won't notice i said something wrong:p. It's also gotten me into weird situations where i didn't know guys liked me and i got creeped out:/.
I think Autism can cause problems recognizing and following hierarchy norms. At least me and several family members have had problems with that
im an autistic content creator and this video really hit the nail on the head
I am a 38yr old female and I could identify with everything she has said in this video. I didn't think I was autistic until I had this strong thought come to me to research the symptoms. My son is autistic and I noticed that I mirrored a lot of his mannerisms when I was a kid(he's 11 now) I still repeat these same things today. I literally cannot look at dry mustard on the bottle without becoming physically sick. I literally almost vomit at the thought of it I have so many quirks and weird behaviors growing up even now as a grown woman that I cannot understand. I would never talk in school but when I would get home I was a chatterbox. It's crazy how I truly can relate to this video. I always thought to myself what is wrong with you? And I didn't know why... I was thinking about going to get an evaluation done just to see. I struggle with HEAVY social anxiety I was bullied when I was a young girl and that is what made me afraid of people growing up. Whenever somebody didn't like me and would approach me I would go through a severe bout of anxiety my body would shake uncontrollably and sometimes I wouldn't be able to stop. I wouldn't wish this on anybody and anybody that knows me would confirm my symptoms as well. I have no reason to make any of this up and if I do have a diagnosis I will finally have a lot of questions answered stemming back from my childhood. I even had a doctor come into my school to evaluate why I wasn't talking and they just made the assumption of me being shy and timid. I along with my son am very picky when it comes to food I have the same thing every day if not every other day. When I see people I know I try to avoid them and a lot of the time I have a hard time maintaining eye contact and I don't know why.... hopefully I can get a diagnosis soon. I just want to see if I am on the spectrum. I'm very high functioning but a lot of the time I need reassurance and have to go over things more than once I try to make sure I pound the knowledge into my head of what I need to know that's being asked of me. So yep I pray to find out soon because this would explain so much
I am 54 and I was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago. What is interesting is I have always felt different/ off from other people. I have come across videos of people with both ADHD and autism and saw similarities in me. I started to wonder. This video I relate to everything you have said. I am not claiming to be this but it is something when I am back in the states to have a conversation with my psychiatrist. Thank your video content.
Sometimes people think I am trying to take over a conversation when in fact I am trying to illustrate that by having a similar experience, I can empathize.
When I am in an emotional situation my brain shuts down. I feel a pressure of something bad that’s going on but I am unable to find words for it. Only after a while when I calmed down I can put it into words, even precise, simple and neutral. And I can talk about it as if it were another person.
OMG...I'm a major over-explainer. I never send a brief e-mail.
I'm very honest, often blunt, and frequently interrupt others.
Multiple sensory issues, special interests, masking - check, check, check.
Join the blunt obliviousness club:D, we don't have pins yet (non existing club so yea) but maybe one day:p.
Welcome to the club exactly!
The over explainer in me gets in to trouble, as does the momentary “pause” when asked what APPEARS to be a simple question asked by the OTHER person…… huge conflict when asked “do we have an old spoon I can have for the garage”….. my brain pulls up & begins to catalog all the spoons….he thinks I’m ignoring him & off it goes….😬
Wow this whole list - me:
Check, check, check, check, check.
Thanks for sharing.
Why do people even ask questions they don’t want honest answers to? 🙄
I’m 27 and just now finding out I’m probably on the spectrum. I’m also trans so it’s really refreshing that you made that distinction in the video. I relate a lot to your story and so many others on the spectrum, it’s just crazy to come to terms with honestly. Like it makes sense and it also feels like I’m even more of an alien. Very weird feeling but great video and I’m subscribed. Thanks for sharing your experience
I have all of these traits! thank you so much for this video, it was very clear and made it so much easier for me to understand what's going on with myself.
I'm so glad that you could relate and that it helped you to better understand yourself! 🥰
I am 67 and have just figured out that I and my children, and probably my husband are all on the spectrum. We tend to be awkward around others, become hyper-focused, mask, etc. We each have our version of attention deficit disorder, with my daughter and husband having ADHD, and my son and I just being very distractable. Thank you for explaining these traits.
I'm also autistic so I understand completely what you're saying sometimes I don't understand sarcasm or other people's emotions or how to react and I freak out what there's a lot of people in one room and I don't know how to talk to people very good unless I am with one of my siblings but they help me get through it when I feel upset being autistic is very hard but I have my family so they can help me and this video really helps other people out there to understand so thank you 🙂
I would have to say in many ways I identify with all of them you mentioned
THANK YOU SO MUCH oh my gosh this video was so helpful for me! I am currently trying to figure out if I might have autism and it’s hard because a lot of sites / people don’t give examples that make sense to me, but you did! I really need those examples to actually evaluate what symptoms of autism I have because the wording of a lot of the symptoms confuse me, and I have no idea what they look like in real life without clear examples!
I’m so glad you are back! Thank you.
I have adhd and I don't think I'm autistic. But I do have really strong sensory issues and I often have trouble understanding why I'm upset. Your experience of what you do when you're match is the same as mine
you unlocked a memory for me
At work all of my coworkers will be gathered around talking, making small talk and picking on each other, then there's me over to myself just chilling 😂 i would much rather be by myself than talk about meaningless stuff just to do it, ya know? My friend who works there told me that our boss thinks I don't like her because I'm not overly social and give short/blunt answers...I do like her, im just busy?
I over explain because they don't always acknowledge what I am saying so I feel like they aren't getting it
I can relate to feeling at odds with a new person in the group
overwhelmed at a large event
I can't explain what I am feeling most the time
Hear everything, feel overwhelmed in certain stores with lots of stuff going on
Always been fascinated with crochet and all that goes with it, but also music and musical instruments and other things as well. I can go on binges studying various subjects online for a time.
Not diagnosed but definitely HSP and INFJ
Thank you! This video was very concise and informative. I can share it with others so they understand me a little better.
Omg these traits are definetly me
I'm 42 with a diagnosed autistic/mosaic down syndrome son, and I'm finding that the more that I watch videos like this that I may be on the spectrum also. I checked if all of the items on your list but have managed to fake it till I made it. Always thought I was just weird for not being like others and that that was just my problem to fix. But now I feel there are others like me out there. Thanks 😊
Thank 💚 You!! Seeking diagnosis at almost 42
✨🙏✨
Some points have resonated with me to some degree. What I've developed throughout the years is called maladaptive daydreaming though.
Same, girl. Same. Thanks for sharing! ❤️
I could kiss you for this! Realy thank you so much:D. Im realy greatfull because with the first thing you said i thought: so it is an autisme thing! I always try to explain things with to many words because i like fo be clear. In doing so i become less clear but i always doubt if people get me, understand me or like me. I also have that problem with the things i create, thinking that people are just being polite and not wanting to hurt my feelings.
I recognise alot of the point's but thanks to my adhd i can't name them all without replaying the video. Wich isn't a problem but you can't type a comment and play/pause a video on your phone:p.
Again thank you so much:D this will help with my evaluation i think:).
I'm so happy that you could resonate to this video and that it can help you in your diagnosis journey. 🌻
Yea this was realy enlightening:). I have had an intake with a spychologist and im gonna get another in dept intake with that person and another psychologist there. So now im just compiling allotof information and trying ro organize it:).
Starting watching some youtube videos about aspergers syndrom, as my friends son was diagnosed with it, and this popped up. I got almost shocked. How could you get into my head and talk about me on the things I never told anyone. 7 of the 8 traits you described, you could have talked about me. I always figured I was just a bit weird, according to my sisters, my way of playing with dolls was boring as I always wanted things to be more realistic. I don't get when people are being ironic or sarcastic, don't know when I have talked too much or if people enjoy the conversation or not, but for some reason I'm pretty good at chit chat. But then again I tend to share too much or be to honest, heard that too many times. I can read body and faces, but only if they are honest, meaning if you catch people by surprise and very young children. Most people learn to put on a mask 99% time of the time and that I can't see through, but I can read animals as they don't put on masks. I also never met an animal that didn't like me.
Wow, this describes my best friend to a tee!😮
I've just thought of myself as a perfectionist, introverted first-born, but after watching a dozen or so videos (special interest?), I'm beginning to wonder. On the other hand, I'm 70yo, and if anything I have learned how to mask really well, this is probably as far as I will go.
I'm 30 and I feel like I've been misdiagnosed(I was diagnosed with mild intellectual disability) I feel like I either have autism, dyspraxia or both) the thing I identify with the most is the sensory problems. I startle easily(hate loud/high pitched noises.) I hate bright or flashing lights and I hate tight clothes. I have a few of these traits.
Taking literally is big for me....... I get accused of saying puns lol!!!!
Once again, I totally relate… I guess It’s time to get a diagnosis 🤔 (still waiting for my answer )
💯 great vid! thank you. never went to a doctor, but read years about different issues. I think I have ADHD, anxiety/depression, autism and I know I have Tourette's Syndrome. My tick from Tourette's is that my eyes squint very badly. Sometimes I don't even know I'm doing it until I already have a headache from doing it. So today I was watching Russian's leader, Putin, listen to his council on whether they should allow southeast Ukraine (Donbas?) to be independent or not and I saw how he kept a poker face; so relaxed and peaceful. So I attempted to mask his poker face. It felt very good because I was not getting a headache. btw... one pet peeve of mine is videos that don't have dates assigned as to when they were uploaded. For some reason I am obsessed with the date all videos are uploaded because I like the most current information. lol 🙃 Thanks for the information! Hugs! 💌
hoooooolyyyyyy fuck. i’m taking this video to my therapist.
Thanks for your video. Im new to ur channel..im also new to finding out i have Autism as well.. Im reserching as much as i can..I have let me friends/ family know and so far its like ive said i have a cold no one has said a thing or asked anything..i have so many emotions finding out and have no support from who i thoughy may..even if im ok?! nothing. its making me wish id said nothing. Has anyone else had this? When i told my sister that im close too..She said, youve always been abit special "..🤔
I was in the exact spot as you this time last year and wow, was it hard! I actually made a video talking about my experience telling people that I was autistic and some general advice that I would have found helpful during that time. Maybe it will help or at least help you feel not so alone.
Welcome to the pack, friend!
Thanks so much for replying i truly appreciate your advice, and the fact you took the time to read my comment😊
I had the same when i got my adhd diagnose last september:/. I almost shouted it from the rooftops because i was so happy to know. Unfortunatly the month's after that were horrible with trying new meds, having a job where everything is going south and people did tell me if i needed to talk to someone or had questions i could bother them but it's not always that easy. The fun thing is alot of my friends werent surprised or thought that i already knewXD.
I thought it was normal to not know what others were thinking and feeling unless it's an obvious emotion (crying, screaming, smiling). I always wonder if people are understanding me or interested. I often think that people dislike me or are interested
My 22 year old daughter was recently diagnosed adhd. Watching this makes me wonder how I never recognized these things in her. Nearly all of them! I suspect my 9 year of girl is also adhd. What can I do to help her?
Difficulty understanding what Other people thinking or Feeling
Very anxious about social situations
Unintentionally come Off as Blunt, Rude or
Not interested in Others
Difficulty expressing emotions
Taking Things very literally
Strong sensitivity to Sensory input
Special interests
Masking
As we all belong to the spectrum, you are very similar to my neurodivergence.
Hello, do you think the mimicking human socially acceptable behaviours is a conscious thing or a subconscious mimicking? Do you know that you are mimicking or intentionally mimicking or is it just automatic? 💕
Very helpful
Since the final taking of your herbs, my son has been speaking well and responding to his name Thank you Dr Oyalo for saving my son with your herbs. I’m so happy to share this good news
Just wondering if extreme motion sickness can also be a sign of autism? I've never been able to watch TV shows with shakey camera work because it makes me sick & throws off my equilibrium. Also, I check off most of the traits except I am really good at understanding metaphor and figurative language and am a relatively good poet. I also understand most sarcasm and I often find myself secretly pitying most neurotypical people as too shallow and boring in conversation, not wanting to imitate them, but to be separate from them. Does anyone know if I could still be autistic if I check off most of the traits but those? Thank you! ❤
I related to almost all of these except for mimicking human behaviors, and I don't even have autism. People who speak bluntly are a breath of fresh air. It's exhausting to have to decode everything people say. Just give it to me straight.
My husband says I just walk off mid sentence in group situations sometimes!? I didn’t even realise I did that, oops!
Thank you!!
Anyone had issues with abbreviations in notes?? So they make it no easier or make it harder to comprehend because you litterly read Ca2+ instead of calcium ion ?
I relate pretty much.
What does lgbtq have anything to do with autism or adhd? Just asking or maybe I misunderstood what you said. Please correct me in this.
What’s the difference between “highly sensitive people” (not empathy) and autism? They share many characteristics…
I think it's the social aspects: understanding body language, reading between the lines, getting social cues. I identify as hsp and I do have a lot autistic traits, but rarely difficulty with eye contact or making friends. But I don't understand small talk and chit-chat. It's boring to me and if it comes to smalltalk I ALWAYS overshare. But because I never struggled to make friends, never got bullied and never had feelings of people hating me I don't think my social difficulties can be that huge.
Hi, what is the difference between a hobby and a special interest? I read somewhere that autistic females often have socially appropriate special interests like gardening for example. I understand that not everybody who gardens is autistic. How does being autistic makes a very common hobby different and becomes a special interest?
I think what separates is the level of interest. Do you spend much of your time thinking about gardening? Only really interested in reading and learning about gardening? Do you only want to talk about gardening or rather, do other topics of conversation feel less engaging/boring?
@@neurodivergentme thank you for your response, I will keep this in mind
Soo i am getting closer and closer to the conclusion that i do not have an autism disorder but might indeed have autistic traits
Nice job
YEAH BUT TYPING IT ALL OUT IS PROLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME. IT S too much and WAY TOO HARD. just give the assessor this kathlena audiovideo
❤️❤️❤️💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥
i'm not sure if i even have any special interests, that must be quite uncommon? 🤔 i mean sure i'm into photographing, social justice, ecology and recently everything autism related since i got diagnosed but i don't spend hours and hours researching these topics. 🤷♀️
Special interests are not a requirement to be on the spectrum, just a common experience seen with many autistic individuals. :)
Hi
Hey there 🤗
I wonder if I should try to get diagnosed (or be told that my weirdness doesn't come from autism). It's good to see women like you, because I've always imagined that autism can be identified easily, that those people look and act different, like in the Netflix show Love on the spectrum. But you just look and talk like most women I know, you're very pretty and don't act weird. I think I'm not that good at looking "normal" although I can still "pass" as neurotypical who's a bit shy and socially awkward. Maybe I'm one of you guys... all Internet tests say possible Asperger's 😄 it would explain a lot
I feel very much the same!
You don’t mention your age, but I’d rather have known at 37 instead of 67! The masking & trying to fit in is exhausting & results in anxiety & depression for many people. I look good enough when fixed up & am considered attractive, but figuring out ppl & their intentions is impossible. If my two former husbands & the lucky #3 could jump in here they would tell you stories I’m sure….. Let’s not even mention my 2 daughters who think I’m a weird bad mom- Using drugs & alcohol to loosen up & fit in - if everyone is tipsy they don’t notice how weird you are- is just plain dangerous. So I would encourage you to get diagnosed if you need the validation, like I do, if not then just live your life “as if”. In everything I’ve read, a self diagnosis, or one by a therapist is just as valid as on from an MD. In fact most MD’s are only really familiar w men/boys on the spectrum, they tell me I can’t be on the spectrum bc I am able to make eye contact or I don’t have the personality!
I wanted to say, “why, bc I’m using my nice voice?” 😂
I thought it was interesting you mentioned LGBT... because I just recently found out I am on the very tip of the Autism spectrum at 36 years old. I am gay and I have the autistic traits more of a woman than men. I have always felt like I have the heart and soul of a woman, I think most gay guys are like that. I guess that makes since that my autistic traits would match a woman's. That would be good research for the autistic community I think. You are the very first person (out of all the hours of research I have done) to say that they can not only be sensitive to certain stimulus but can actually like and desire certain things. For me I love scents I like everything to smell good. It has to be high end or natural scents that I like. Cheap cologne is a big no no for me lol. Clothes, furniture, bed linens etc. I always get high end luxury items because I want everything to look and feel really great with great craftsmanship because I can pick out the smallest fault in anything lol. Thanks for sharing this video!
So relatable - now I say to myself that I’m not a snob, I’m autistic :-)
@@Elwyn_the_Weird lol how funny!
I'm just recently discovering I'm autistic, still seeking a diagnosis. This discovery is becoming a special interest maybe too. I tend towards overly sensitive to most if not all input, and I also have CRPS (complex regional pain syndrome) in my left ankle/foot due to an injury in 2019. So far, the early part of my treatment for it doesn't seem to work with my autistic traits.