It is only a matter of time my friend. I can see it in you that you want to improve things, and coming to the realization that it wasn't the alcohol. I think that is why a lot of people can never get out from under it. It is easier to blame the booze or say it is a disease, when the real problem is other areas of our life. I am testimony that one day, it will not bother you one bit. I know it must be hard 30 days in. Learning how to deal with problems instead of just having a beer is a tough thing. Congratulations. Once you find out what you want, the rest is easy.
Btw the targeted ads are a thing. I’m sober and the alcohol companies made a fortune off me, we alcoholics account for well over 90% of alcohol sales. Each of us is a desired gold mine.
Hey man, total stranger here that happened upon your channel this morning. I recognize your struggle and internal conflict, going through it myself. Almost died in a motorcycle accident last year (alcohol was a huge factor) and it changed my life. 16yrs active-duty military, wife and kids… almost gone in an instant. Sobriety has been challenging, but only good things have come from it. If I may offer some things I’ve learned: -Diet and exercise are necessary. Not some intense program, but a small (and deliberate) choice in what you’re eating/doing will make enough of a difference over time that you will WANT to do more. It just happens. -Happiness doesn’t just arrive, but you may find that you’re calmer on the inside. Use it to gain an understanding of yourself. That perspective will open doors to finding happiness in places you may not expect, usually from things right in front of you. -Take the wins. Be sure to acknowledge your successes (particularly regarding sobriety) and say the words out loud. It’s okay to feel good about the little things AND the big things you’ve accomplished. Best of luck to you. I’ve subscribed and I’ll keep checking in on your content. You seem like a good dude.
It takes a little time but keep pushing through man. You stopped a destructive coping mechanism and recognized there’s an underlying reason. That’s a huge step. We’ll be here for you the whole way!
Life is going to be harder because you wont have alcohol to insulate yourself from everything. Sleeping is just your body adjusting and being sad is just you waking up to the real world. You wont notice liquor stores after a while. Once you readjust you will see how active and productive you will become. I can see you are struggling. Hang in there. 20 years and counting. Love from Spain
Take the time to hangout and talk with your kid if you live in the same area. My father has came to my house everyday after he gets off work so we could see each other and discuss how our day was since I first moved out at 17, I'm 37 now. I don't think he realizes how much I enjoy getting to do this with him and I'm glad he's my father. Dear 'ol dad has had his own bodyshop for the last 40 years so he comes by pretty late and he's really good at his job, lol.
The food part is easy…go carnivore..it’s has made me extremely happy all the way around.. Food is a large part of life and does not need to be complicated.. carnivore is easy… eat to live instead of living to eat.
congrats on the 1 month being sober, sounds like you need AA, and get a sponsor and start a twelve step program it has helped me for 38 years clean and sober, just take it one day at a time
Right on he needs the program and a sponsor for sure! Need a support team otherwise, your bouncin around on the wagon and a big bump could be a big fall.
I am not going to lie, the first 30 days are the hardest. Your honesty is awesome and well help bring happier days. It's true for all of us, when we quit drinking liquor stores and beer ads suddenly seem to be everywhere. You got this. It's cheesy but very true.... One day at a time.
Disclaimer: I never really had a problem with alcohol, I "only" drank too much. So my experience may not be representative for a problematic drinker. But for me after about 2 months some weird changes happened. The brain started to change. And after listening to Huberman and Peterson explaining how alcohol works long term, it made sense that it took a while for the effect to kick in. So when you are still struggling, there is probably a peak ahead of you after which things become a little more downhill, a little easier.
Complete stranger here that randomly found your last video. You are incredibly brave for putting this out to the world and I’m proud of you from just seeing your last two videos. Alcoholism and depression has affected my family as well but support and communication is key. Are you talking to a therapist? I did not grow up talking of my feelings but it is beyond helpful. Take care and I’ll be keeping an eye on you going forward!
First off. Congratulations on one month. I think that’s huge. Proud of you. There is no shame in seeking some mental health help. It has helped me in the past. I didn’t think I needed it and could handle it on my own but was talked into it. Anyway it can help. You don’t know me but trust me. It’s worth it, for you.
I think AA only really helps those who are already religious or thinking about it. I personally hated AA, because of the religious sub messages. I got a counselor that had been through similar addiction problems and that was a much better experience.
XXXVIIII years in AA as an agnostic, once you become a junkie/drunk the booze is the primary problem- it’s why you’re a drunk. Good luck kid it takes a few years before you’re in a place to deal with that you were a mope.
@@DrewDiaz I’m just saying it helped me to talk to someone about why I drank. It doesn’t have to be AA. I’m 4 years sober now, will I drink again? I don’t know but I know where that path leads. I get up each day and think about the important people in my life. And how I could easily loose all of them. It’s hard some days. I’m not a religious person but I have to keep strong willed for them and myself. I wish you all the best ✌🏾
@@jmoe6402 by the time I was 16 I was a daily drinker & I drank because I was a drunk, not because I had a scary second grade teacher- that’s what I’m saying. In 38 years I’ve known a lot of folks who tried & failed on their own, who stopped going to meetings and ended back on the pipe or the bottle, and never got right because they thought they were unique…
Hats off to you for sharing your struggle and honesty. I have not touched a drop in 16 years. I’d never believed 16 years ago it would be possible to accomplish the things I have. A person learns a lot about himself during the journey. Cheering for you brother!
Congrats! Coming up on 5 years here.. it does get easier. It does get better.. I was afraid of AA for the longest time but I’m so glad I found a group and developed a network of guys that think like I do and can call me on my BS.. slow and steady buddy 👊🏻
The universe conspires... never watched your stuff before but here I am. Alcohol-free since August 5th. Have a lot of "me" to work on including starting to see a counselor in a couple weeks. For what it's worth, I can totally relate that things don't seem "better". But they really are, better. Just acknowledging there's a problem and taking this life change step is "better" than continuing an old pattern. Some advice given to me, in regard to the emotional nature of a life change: "When you're going through hell, just keep going." Just. Keep. Going!
Fellow woodworker here. 67 yo and one who’s been on fluoxetine for years for depression. Sleeping is essential. I often get up early but nap later because I recognize when I’m tired. I do not drink or drug and am a new subscriber because you are now sober. Let’s see what we can do together in a new reality.
Sir, if I may, I'm not much of a woodworker but I know about the subject at hand and I'm just a little younger than you so I thought I'd chime in to say 2 things. If you've been taking a medication for years to treat a problem you still have, that's a failure. Time to rethink. After all of you're not living right, what exactly are you asking of the drug? And reality isn't going to be any different now that you've decided to be sober. I'm sure you know that but it could launch false or mal adjusted hopes to not see it for what it is. And I really hope you don't get involved with AA. No offense to them but the whole "it's not my fault I have a disease " is just a lame attempt to dodge reality.
@@WoodenThingsAndStuff I treated depression the same way for a while - I think it's okay to do if you don't let it keep you in that nasty pattern. Use it as a transition.
I’m impressed by your honesty. You are on a path of discovery. Give it time and find help. One day at a time is important. My 18 months of sobriety has taught me you are not alone. Stay strong!
Good things happen when we are honest with ourselves. We can always lie to people to make them feel good but it doesn’t help US. Good days ahead for you my friend,
Well the way I see it you are heading to path of owning your life, that won't be easy but is possible, this could be a one time opportunity so please don't give up, AA and similar groups will help you a lot so reach out for help and get it done.
I stopped a week before I saw your video, and I've been working so much that it helped me stay sober for a month also. Stay strong, and we can get through this.
Congrats man!! 1 month is a huge milestone. I'm about 11 months sober and just wanted to let you know it got WAY better after about 4 months. Those first few were pretty rough. Everything felt extremely boring. Time slows down and you start to think "will this ever get better? Will I ever be happier?" and I promise you it gets SO much better. By the way, I'm in my 30s and have struggled with depression since I was a teenager. The sadness is real man. Don't worry about all the other stuff right now (eating problems, etc.) just focus on the sobriety. One day at a time, one step at a time. Anyway, I'm rooting for you and hope the best. Keep on keeping on, you'll feel awesome in a few months. Take care of yourself brother!
I think Steve O said he resents it when people call alcoholism a disease. He very wisely said that alcoholism is just a symptom of the actual underlying disease that causes it, like depression, etc.
Praying for you bud. Matthew 11:28-30 New Living Translation (NLT) Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
Hey man, I've been struggling to quit drinking, too. Something that motivates me through some of my depression is my 6 month old son. Maybe having a companion that depends on you like a dog would help. Anyway thank you for your videos on this. You helped me when I was struggling.
I have a son, too...but he's a teenager now so he doesn't "need" me like he used to. Still actively spend time with him, though, which always makes me happier.
Hey man I have a very similar story as you, even down to the not doing a good job eating and nutrition, and self medicating because of depression. I have been sober almost a year now. 100% get in and checked out for the anxiety and depression. Turns out I have late diagnosis of ADHD. Got treatment for it and I no longer have the anxiety and depression. Turns out my brain was only seeking out the dopamine hits and because of that I started developing shame and depression from not doing the things I was supposed to be doing. If you are not getting withdrawals from alcohol and are just craving it for the feeling because it helps with mental anguish, then most likely you have ADHD. Keep in mind, untreated ADHD can decrease your life expectancy by 11 years, because of the coping, self medicating, and poor life choices.
Just wanted to add one thing. In the beginning of my journey I felt beat down like you are feeling now. It gets better. Get help now, not later. Dont sit in the pain and anguish longer than you need to be, I wish I would have started so much sooner. You will be surprised how much getting the proper support will get you back on your feet QUICKLY, without the need of alcohol. Ask for help, there are people there for you.
4.5 years for me. Funny thing is the first 6 months of sobriety for me was ten times worse than the years of being a stupid drunk. But it gets better, slowly, I promise. It sucks cuz I thought sobriety would fix everything in my life but it only fixed one problem. Luckily it was the biggest problem.
I don't struggle with alcohol, but I know people that do. Not long ago I lost my Uncle to it. A good guy. A very successful guy. But I don't think Alcohol is typically the problem. It's a bandaid covering a wound. A bandaid that makes things worse, infects the wound more. Pulling the bandaid off won't fix the wound. But it stops making it worse, and it gives you access to it. Sleeping is just another bandaid, one I've struggled with. anything to turn your brain off and avoid the real problem. UA-cam can be another one for me. My advice is stop trying to covering up and avoiding the problem. Dive into it, think about, feel it. It's going to suck. bad. But if you can find the source of the problem you can work on it. fix it, or learn how to live with it in a positive way. If you just keep covering it up and ignoring it It's always going to be there. Think of it as a project, a repair. You can keep spraying the squeaky bearing with wd40. it will go quiet for a minute. but it will keep coming back. It will keep getting worse. Eventually it will fail. find the problem. and deal with it directly. I don't know what dealing with it looks like. it might not be somthing you can fix on your own. If you need help get help, If you dont have the right tool or expertise for the job. Find someone that does and ask for help. Learn what works, and what doesnt. Keeping puishing towards what works.
I really appreciate these vids. It took me at least three months to feel 50% human. Sober people I respect suggested not to worry about what i ate, how much I slept, etc. Having an alcoholic mind, all I ever thought about was what I was effing up - all those reasons to drink. I went to bed at 6pm for a month not to drink, the healthiest option in front of me. Keep on brother. It takes what it takes. It takes time. And time takes time.
I feel your struggle man. I've had one, two or three day runs of sobriety, but always seems to go back to it. It sucks. You should be VERY proud of making it a month, that's no small feat.
You're doing great and it sounds like you're on the right path. The first month is the worst, the next 5 aren't going to be super pleasant either. I'm 7 years in, a day at a time. It absolutely gets better. For me, during that period I felt like I was an exposed nerve. Every little reminder of alcohol lit my brain up. Plus every issue I had before felt worse. The secret is, you're relearning how to deal with life without alcohol as an escape. It's like strength training, but with your emotional mental state. It feels uncomfortable, but it's making you stronger. As far as the food goes, alcohol is a sugar, so when you cut alcohol it's not uncommon to crave replacing it. For me it was candy. My advice is to not beat yourself up about it and tackle one vice at a time. It's a lot easier to change your diet after you're fully stable in your sobriety. In general, give yourself the grace to be flawed human you are and acknowledge your accomplishments. Loving yourself for who you are is really what enables you to make the changes required to be the person you want to be.
Your brain has to balance, it will take time. Find a church group or a sober group. Community helps a ton. See a psychiatrist and councilor if you need.
Always coming back to see how you are doing. Family and I are wishing you all the best, knowing it's not easy and admiring the effort and bravery to do this so openly. Thank you for helping some of use not feel so alone.
In early sobriety it felt, for a long time, like my mental health was getting worse-- not better. There was so much that I was angry about. So much that I wasn't working through while I was drinking. All of that had to be confronted. When you are drinking to treat anxiety, you are not treating the anxiety-- only paying the interest on it. But all of that gets better with time and effort my brother, and having a hobby that you're passionate about gives you a head start in this regard; a lot of newly sober guys don't have a hobby, and it is recommended that they pick one up as an urgent priority. Action is a great remedy for sobriety-related discomfort.
My advice... for what it's worth... invite GOD into Everything that you do. We were all created to be in relationship with HIM, and nothing will fill that hole in our hearts other than HIM as we were made that way... on purpose. I talk to HIM all of the time, especially when I'm working in my shop... seemingly all alone, but I'm not alone. Get it ? Once we figure that out.. things change for the best. Trust me... that said... remember to Seek HIM First, and then all things will be added unto you, As is written... and HE is not a man that HE should lie. All of this said... congratulations and sticking with your commitment. Big rewards will follow... and enjoy the journey.
Dude, go to a meeting. It helps. Get a Big Book. As far as confronting the roots of your depression, that's something only you can sort out. Identify it and apply as many perspectives to it as you can, understand it and let it go. Weigh issues against time. How long will this effect me? A day, a year, forever? Don't give up on sobriety. It becomes a powerful thing the longer you go. Good luck!
Congrats on one month! Five years here. My advice, try one small thing at a time and adopt a moment to moment attitude. Meditation helps. Take some time each day to make deliberate choices on three things: 1) exercise (even if it is just walking) 2) eating something healthy 3) take two to three minutes per day to contemplate something or someone you are grateful for.
Alcohol, food, sleep are good distractions to keep you away from completing projects. The desire for having the perfect project is overwhelming and sometimes getting wasted is an excuse to keep us away from finishing that project that you’re not satisfied with. I think my problem is the obsession with having everything perfect and the best.
One Month Sober👍 Congratulations on a milestone👍 I have been clean & sober for 6 years this month.(9/5/2018 - 9/5/2024) The first year or so every store that I walked into (to buy groceries or gas) I automatically gravitated to the liquor department. When I got there I had to ask myself, wtf are you doing over here, you don't do this shit anymore. Thats what happens after doing something everyday for over 44 years and not really knowing the real reason why. One day at a time.
Well, you're looking focused and your attitude has improved noticeably. You may not feel happier, but as you approach life from new angles you may find more happiness. Give yourself time, celebrate your progress, and just keep moving forward. Good going!
Well done, Mike. While alcohol may not seem like it is "the" problem, it sounds like it certainly is "a" problem and being free from it will help you with the other problems. Remember, all your problems will not go away overnight - or, even in a month. Sometimes it helps to make other, simple changes so you can get a different perspective of yourself. Some things you might try ... shave, cut your hair differently, wear different clothes. While these things may seem unrelated, you might be surprised how a different look can change your own perspective of yourself. Although you are sober, when you look in the mirror you still see "the old you" ... making personal appearance changes lets you see a different you. Keep up the work and you should see changes in your life even if they seem slow to you. I know you told me you don't find certain things compatible with your life but, you could give it a try and recheck that website I sent you.
Keep at it buddy. Still praying for you! I quit a bunch of times but the only time it stuck, was when I did it for Jesus. I don't know why, but everything just got easier, so I'm roll'n with it. Reach out to me if you'd like any of the resources that I came across during my journey.
You should be proud of yourself. It's not easy or fun to realize you have an issue with substances and then to do something about is amazing. Many people avoid this internal conversation. I haven't drank in over 6 years. Two of biggest problems were breaking the routine of drinking and, like you've done, realizing alcohol wasn't the issue it was me and my bad coping skills. Stay strong man.
CONGRATULATIONS brother. 10 years cocaine free here, all i can say brother is you have started on a lifelong journey, you are strong, you are loved and you are valued.
keep it up. For me, I got on antidepressants, did a truckload of counseling and quit drinking. For me, all of those things went hand in hand. Stay strong.
You are so brave and I love you for being so open to share this battle. So many are struggling so know you are not alone and keep being a light for yourself and others 💕
Congratulations on one month sober. When we remove one thing from our lives we must be careful with what fills that vacuum. We try to fill this void inside us, and yet nothing satisfies, because only one thing can satisfy. It took me 40 years to admit Who could fill that void. God will that void for you, and you only need to ask. Peace be with you. 🙏✝️
Right on! You’re doing it. The alcohol was only the vehicle, the problem is always us but leaving alcohol allows us to think about it clearly. A month is a baby step. I big baby step no doubt but you need to keep grinding. Happy is oversold. It’s just one of many emotions. Sad is always gonna be around, just let it be there and get comfortable with it. Content is king and achievable and all it takes is a different outlook to the same old externals. Keep on with your struggle.
1 Month free! Beautiful. Addiction is a soothing of pain from something else. This journey requires a lot from you brother. Just quitting drinking is never going to be enough. You have to seek a purpose, healing, forgiveness. Allow yourself fail. Allow yourself the time, one step at a time. If you need to sleep 14 hours a day, fine. Just do something with the rest of the 10. If you can only give 10% today, good. You gave 100% of what you could. Recovery isn't about punishing yourself to change but finding new meanings and new directions for your life. The word recover is a shit word because it pertains that you're returning to a previous 'better state'. But you can never go back to the man you were before the drink. Because you've experienced, learnt and felt. This isn't a recovery, this is a discovery. Get trimmed up, you'll be so surprised how better you feel when you look good. We're here with you brother
Wow! I love your courage and strength. You are amazing! You are not only helping yourself by making these changes, but you are putting it out there for others to walk through it with you. You're going to get support from your followers, as well as helping others who need to take the same steps you are taking. Kudos to you for having that strength and courage. My husband is a recovering alcholic and drug abuser. God helped jim break the cycle. We are praying that you will continue toward healing from mental issues as well as addiction(s). Its not easy, but its worth it!!!
First, congratulations on the beginning of your journey - I meant to say this when you shared your situation and decision with the world (incredibly bravely I might add) and I subscribed to try to follow along. I'm 2 &1/2 years sober/clean, and I can tell you that life's challenges don't go away because we stop using, but our ability to handle and react to the challenges gets better. Second, I wanted to share with you how I approach recovery, more specifically addressing the underlying causes that drove me to use, and that is to target the "trifecta" of Mind/Body/Spirit. For the mind I go to individual therapy, group therapy, and I also attend Smart Recovery (not a 12 step) meetings. Smart Recovery focuses on tools/processes based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and they support cross talk and sharing in a way that's different than other meetings - not to mention they aren't just for drug/alcohol abuse as they can be for any addiction (food, gambling, sex, etc). If you aren't doing at least one of these (individual therapy, group therapy, or Smart Recovery), I encourage to explore these options. For the body I try to get decent sleep (I don't always succeed), eat better (I don't always succeed), and get more exercise (wait for it...I don't always succeed 🙂). Every little bit helps as positive changes are additive, but people in early recovery tend to focus on when we don't meet our expectations in these areas. Try to give yourself some grace in these areas by recognizing what you do right/better than before and look the parts you don't as growth opportunities. For the spirit I joined Narcotics Anonymous - and to be clear my "DOC" was alcohol (yes alcohol is a drug). I tried AA a few times, and occasionally go to support friends, but it isn't for me as they end with "the lord's prayer" and that (among other things) rubs me wrong in ways I don't want to get into here. Long story short, those 12 step programs focus on spirituality (not religion - there is a difference between the two I could get into if you want) which was something I seriously lacked as a 30 year "devout" atheist. My whole perspective on spirituality has changed as a result of my journey, and I am still not religious. But I digress... the spiritual principals and approaches you can pick up in a 12 step are another major component to the trifecta and I encourage you to explore the 12 step program that fits you best: AA/NA/DAA/CoDA/etc.. I also bust out a document on the 15 most cognitive distortions when my head starts to swirl with negative/bad thoughts, so I can identify/name my devil so to speak, and that helps me process things out. One of the biggest ones is "shoulds". "I should do X" or "I need to do Y". Shoulds are expectations (of yourself and/or others and/or situations), and expectations are resentments waiting to happen. I could go on, but I feel like this is already a "too long, didn't read", but I hope you see it and some of this helps you. Just remember to give yourself some grace, focus on the forest instead of the trees when possible, and to use a cliche "take it one day at a time". On that last point I always say I don't know what the future holds, I just know I am not drinking today, I'm not planning on drinking tomorrow, and the rest will sort itself out. Hang in there brother and remember you are NOT alone.
Hang in there ! I did the road you're travelling 5 years ago. I felt exactly the way you're talking. Turns out as I got older, my ability to deal with stress had melted into anxiety and depression. Booze worked until it became the problem. Now it's my meds and my guitar and life is awesome!
I'm 56 and I have a little over 10 years now without the alcohol, I got drunk every single night when I was drinking and I was sick as hell every day as a result,,,,,, And I know it doesn't work for everyone but for me WEED saved my life and helped me finally stop for good.
I used to smoke a lot in my younger days. Tried to get back into it when it became legal, but it just didn't do it for me. Dunno. Guess it's just not my thing anymore.
Congrtulations on a month! Honestly i feel llike im looking in a mirror watching except for the beard! Everything you say is exactly what im goijg through and feeling... Thank you!
I think I mentioned in my comment on your original video that stopping is just a step and *usually* self-medicating is a symptom. Whatever was making you unhappy, depressed etc. and guided you towards abusing alcohol *will* still be there sadly. I'm confident you'll figure it out - but you were never going to be able to if you continued drinking. You're doing great. Take care.
Stay strong brother! I did this too, my details are different but I had to stop too and my problem was really driven by underlying issues. I fell off the wagon 2 years later, got back on, and then a few months later started to deal with the (lifelong) underlying mental health issues. Still working on that, a couple of them are chronic (ADHD, OCD) so will probably be working on them for the rest of my life. But it does get better. It does. You’re heading in the right direction, it took a lot of courage to do that, Just keep on going.
Dude, When I got sober it became clear very fast that alcohol is not the issue, it is me ingesting alcohol. Some people can drink normal but I cannot. Some say ‘I am allergic to alcohol’. Basically I cannot drink like people who do not have issues with alcohol. I hope you can find your way one day at a time. Take away booze and I want to do anything I can to feel better - and that is why I drank. I had to learn to go through feelings, but no matter what I continued to not drink…eventually, I got better…but it took a long while. There are processes of learning how to live better sober, compared to how we lived while drinking.
It is going to be hard. Don’t be so hard on yourself about eating habits. You are going through withdrawal. Your body needs time to adjust. Alcohol is a system depressant and everything will be out of wack for a while. Sleep if you need to sleep, find a reason to get up. Watch comedy, listen to some music. Reward yourself for just making the effort. You are so brave to show people just how hard this is. Even if you stumble on your journey, you can do this.
I'm trying to be better at celebrating the small wins like doing laundry the other day. Haha. And making this video. But stil getting upset at myself for "just sleeping" instead of being productive because I'm scared if I head out to the shop to do work, I'll end up heading to the liquor store.
ex-wife is a alcoholic. i understand because i watched her go through the progressions. But good news is, you at least are trying to be sober... she just surropunded herself with drunks and became even worse. Good job my friend! Keep your head up and someday itll all be better, i promise!
Thank you for your honesty. I hope you stick with it and that it will become more satisfying over time, as it did for me. The first month was the hardest. What helped me was eating better and going for long walks in the mornings and/or evenings to clear my head. Your comment section is great, use it for what it's worth. I never made a video but get a lot of help myself reading the comment section of other people's sobriety videos. Onwards and upwards!
Bit like when you take a motor apart my man - you start finding other stuff needs fixing. It’s not a defect in you, it’s just life. Just keep fixing each thing, one-by-one and soon enough you’ll start running out of things that need fixing. Keep up the good work, you got this.
I was the same way as you. Drinking to deal with depression was my thing as well. I dealt with the underlying issues while getting sober. I’m at 1.5 yrs and am very happy now. Not because I’m sober, but because I was able to face my underlying issues more clearly. Good luck sir, and please keep it up. I promise it will be rewarding in the end. Also, you may find around month three or four, a new found bit of energy and a bit of euphoria. Some people go through this. It happened for me and I really embraced it.
$5 in booze a day, times 30 days, . . . $150 . . . . go get you a Lee Valley block plane. You deserve it, sorta . . . . not really, but you make shavings and you forget about booze.
It was more like $50 a day, once or twice a week. And I already have the Veritas DX60. But I'm definitely going to be rewarding myself with tools. haha
Well done … super proud of you Sir!!!! ❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉 One day at a time. Clarity of a sober mind will help you to fix what’s making you as or seek help to fix what’s making you sad. Sober is a massive accomplishment my friend, recognise the good every day. Not drinking each day is a huge massive win!! Xxx
The booze may not have been causing the depression but it certainly makes it worse and stopping is a huge first step. BTW, if you haven’t seen Steve-O’s podcast, I highly recommend it. He’s amazingly insightful and articulate when discussing his own sobriety and giving advice to others.
Things are better, just look at your nose compared to the last video. You have to start looking for the positives, even the smallest win is still a win brother. Keep pushing forward!
The alcohol is rarely the problem. I posted on your first vid a month ago, and I will reiterate what I said last time, and what a lot of other people have suggested in this comment section, that I found so much benefit from being part of a program of recovery (AA is a good one). Get a program, get a sponsor, do the work, find your joy. I was depressed and suicidal for 15 years until I discovered joy again through 12 step work. It's possible to recover. You sound like you're "white knuckling it". One month is impressive to do this all on your own! But, it'd be better with a sponsor and a fellowship of alcoholics would could help out and encourage you. Just saying.
1 month isn't enough to see significant change. Ideally, psychologists aren't even supposed to do psych evaluations and prescribe medication for addicts until 6 months of sobriety. That can be tough depending on what someone is addicted to. I agree about the liquor on every corner, but it becomes more and more liberating to drive by and gets easier and easier. For food, baby steps. Something that overloads people during attempts at sobriety is making all sorts of dramatic life changes at once. Everyone always tries to get sober, eat better, and work out, all at the same time. It's a recipe for disaster to crash and burn and relapse. Eat absolutely whatever you want right now. Sit around and binge TV while you eat a bag of chips and call for take-out if that's what you feel like doing. During one of my bouts of sobriety I actually went to the grocery store every day after work and chose a meal to make. Between shopping, cooking, eating, cleaning, it was at least 2 hours. That would bring me around the time it was to just sit and relax before bed. A better and more structured approach that I use now was to make a wallet size list with 3 separate 6 day worth of food lists. This way I wasn't eating the same list every week. I shop every Sunday or do a big buy every other Sunday. Example would be chicken Mondays, pasta Tuesdays, steak Wednesdays, throwback Thursdays, leftover Fridays, take out Saturdays, etc. Routine and structure are important to me. When applied on one aspect in your life, it rolls over to other aspects and things really start to straighten out. Long story short, don't expect much right now. Make a much longer and more realistic timeline of expectations. Set some benchmarks to achieve in the 1-2 year range. Maybe even make some dramatic changes in appearance. I had a beard and long hair when I was drinking. I cut my hair and shave clean now as a daily visual representation of my cleaner lifestyle. I know that's very dramatic as you have a gnarly beard, but it 1000% helps me personally. Good luck sir.
It's tough-going to quit in and of itself as our brains gets used to alcohol's effects; however, removing the alcohol will help you see what the real issues are as you are already seeing and sharing. Something that has helped me is knowing that alcohol is a liar and I don't need a relationship with a liar.
@@WoodenThingsAndStuff I saw your first video a month ago. Now I saw this and subscribed. You remind me of a friend I had when I was studying woodworking. He got away from all of this after he got treatment. He started to seek solution once his daughter was born and for him too, he realised he was running away from something with all that destructive behaviour. It was quite a long journey and it still is, but he has stayed on his path. I believe you can as well.
The best part of being sober! Getting up in the morning after a great nights sleep, with no hangover.
I can do that after 6 beers, everyday. I have to figure out another way to wean off.
Indeed
.... yes.
I got 10 months dude. Keep it up man.
Congratulations!!! So proud, one day at a time...keep it up.
This vid is maybe MORE powerful than your "other" video. Stay safe!
nice job! I have not had a drop of alcohol in over 3 months. Hardest part is sticking with it.
hey man. keep your head up. im glad youre doing well.
It is only a matter of time my friend. I can see it in you that you want to improve things, and coming to the realization that it wasn't the alcohol. I think that is why a lot of people can never get out from under it. It is easier to blame the booze or say it is a disease, when the real problem is other areas of our life. I am testimony that one day, it will not bother you one bit. I know it must be hard 30 days in. Learning how to deal with problems instead of just having a beer is a tough thing. Congratulations. Once you find out what you want, the rest is easy.
Btw the targeted ads are a thing. I’m sober and the alcohol companies made a fortune off me, we alcoholics account for well over 90% of alcohol sales. Each of us is a desired gold mine.
Don't mistake better for easier. You are thinking clearly and your perspective has growth. Never underestimate the power of perspective.
I like that a lot. Thanks.
Hey man, total stranger here that happened upon your channel this morning. I recognize your struggle and internal conflict, going through it myself. Almost died in a motorcycle accident last year (alcohol was a huge factor) and it changed my life. 16yrs active-duty military, wife and kids… almost gone in an instant. Sobriety has been challenging, but only good things have come from it. If I may offer some things I’ve learned:
-Diet and exercise are necessary. Not some intense program, but a small (and deliberate) choice in what you’re eating/doing will make enough of a difference over time that you will WANT to do more. It just happens.
-Happiness doesn’t just arrive, but you may find that you’re calmer on the inside. Use it to gain an understanding of yourself. That perspective will open doors to finding happiness in places you may not expect, usually from things right in front of you.
-Take the wins. Be sure to acknowledge your successes (particularly regarding sobriety) and say the words out loud. It’s okay to feel good about the little things AND the big things you’ve accomplished.
Best of luck to you. I’ve subscribed and I’ll keep checking in on your content. You seem like a good dude.
I appreciate your insight, the comments on this video are the most positive thing I've seen on UA-cam in years.
Wow, I am really impressed by the wisdom in this comment. Thank you!
@@Somun-aI was going to say that.
❤
Great job . My dad just made 39 years and is the best father ever since he stopped
It takes a little time but keep pushing through man. You stopped a destructive coping mechanism and recognized there’s an underlying reason. That’s a huge step. We’ll be here for you the whole way!
Thanks, friend!
Life is going to be harder because you wont have alcohol to insulate yourself from everything. Sleeping is just your body adjusting and being sad is just you waking up to the real world. You wont notice liquor stores after a while. Once you readjust you will see how active and productive you will become. I can see you are struggling. Hang in there. 20 years and counting. Love from Spain
THIS may be your positive legacy. My son is medicating something, drinking and sleeping. Existing, not thriving. Thanks for putting this out there.
Take the time to hangout and talk with your kid if you live in the same area. My father has came to my house everyday after he gets off work so we could see each other and discuss how our day was since I first moved out at 17, I'm 37 now. I don't think he realizes how much I enjoy getting to do this with him and I'm glad he's my father. Dear 'ol dad has had his own bodyshop for the last 40 years so he comes by pretty late and he's really good at his job, lol.
@@darksu6947 Thanks, we have made plans to build some shelving for his room. A small project, but acorns start small too.
The food part is easy…go carnivore..it’s has made me extremely happy all the way around.. Food is a large part of life and does not need to be complicated..
carnivore is easy… eat to live instead of living to eat.
congrats on the 1 month being sober, sounds like you need AA, and get a sponsor and start a twelve step program it has helped me for 38 years clean and sober, just take it one day at a time
Ask a recovering alcoholic, I completely agree. I do Celebrate Recovery which is a faith based approach. I also still do outpatient rehab.
Right on he needs the program and a sponsor for sure! Need a support team otherwise, your bouncin around on the wagon and a big bump could be a big fall.
@@elusivelectronI agree with CR and a good faith based step study! I will be praying.
8 years for me. Mental and physical state are a million times better. Worked through a ton of stuff and totally worth it 💪 press on man
Good job, dude! Keep it up! 2 weeks for me. 1 day at a time!
I am not going to lie, the first 30 days are the hardest. Your honesty is awesome and well help bring happier days. It's true for all of us, when we quit drinking liquor stores and beer ads suddenly seem to be everywhere. You got this. It's cheesy but very true.... One day at a time.
The second 30 days don't seem to be any easier. haha.
Thanks for your support.
Disclaimer: I never really had a problem with alcohol, I "only" drank too much. So my experience may not be representative for a problematic drinker. But for me after about 2 months some weird changes happened. The brain started to change. And after listening to Huberman and Peterson explaining how alcohol works long term, it made sense that it took a while for the effect to kick in. So when you are still struggling, there is probably a peak ahead of you after which things become a little more downhill, a little easier.
Complete stranger here that randomly found your last video. You are incredibly brave for putting this out to the world and I’m proud of you from just seeing your last two videos. Alcoholism and depression has affected my family as well but support and communication is key. Are you talking to a therapist? I did not grow up talking of my feelings but it is beyond helpful. Take care and I’ll be keeping an eye on you going forward!
First off. Congratulations on one month. I think that’s huge. Proud of you. There is no shame in seeking some mental health help. It has helped me in the past. I didn’t think I needed it and could handle it on my own but was talked into it. Anyway it can help. You don’t know me but trust me. It’s worth it, for you.
Your honesty and openness is an inspiration. Your insights on this will help others the same way your woodworking does.
Thank you
AA meetings helped me. It helps to talk to others that are going thru what you are.
Weirdly religious
I think AA only really helps those who are already religious or thinking about it. I personally hated AA, because of the religious sub messages. I got a counselor that had been through similar addiction problems and that was a much better experience.
XXXVIIII years in AA as an agnostic, once you become a junkie/drunk the booze is the primary problem- it’s why you’re a drunk. Good luck kid it takes a few years before you’re in a place to deal with that you were a mope.
@@DrewDiaz I’m just saying it helped me to talk to someone about why I drank. It doesn’t have to be AA. I’m 4 years sober now, will I drink again? I don’t know but I know where that path leads. I get up each day and think about the important people in my life. And how I could easily loose all of them. It’s hard some days. I’m not a religious person but I have to keep strong willed for them and myself. I wish you all the best ✌🏾
@@jmoe6402 by the time I was 16 I was a daily drinker & I drank because I was a drunk, not because I had a scary second grade teacher- that’s what I’m saying. In 38 years I’ve known a lot of folks who tried & failed on their own, who stopped going to meetings and ended back on the pipe or the bottle, and never got right because they thought they were unique…
Hats off to you for sharing your struggle and honesty. I have not touched a drop in 16 years. I’d never believed 16 years ago it would be possible to accomplish the things I have. A person learns a lot about himself during the journey. Cheering for you brother!
Thanks very much!
Congrats! Coming up on 5 years here.. it does get easier. It does get better.. I was afraid of AA for the longest time but I’m so glad I found a group and developed a network of guys that think like I do and can call me on my BS.. slow and steady buddy 👊🏻
The universe conspires... never watched your stuff before but here I am. Alcohol-free since August 5th. Have a lot of "me" to work on including starting to see a counselor in a couple weeks.
For what it's worth, I can totally relate that things don't seem "better". But they really are, better. Just acknowledging there's a problem and taking this life change step is "better" than continuing an old pattern.
Some advice given to me, in regard to the emotional nature of a life change:
"When you're going through hell, just keep going."
Just. Keep. Going!
Fellow woodworker here. 67 yo and one who’s been on fluoxetine for years for depression. Sleeping is essential. I often get up early but nap later because I recognize when I’m tired. I do not drink or drug and am a new subscriber because you are now sober. Let’s see what we can do together in a new reality.
I'm just frustrated because I'm using sleep as "can't drink if you're sleeping!" rather than actually being tired.
Sir, if I may, I'm not much of a woodworker but I know about the subject at hand and I'm just a little younger than you so I thought I'd chime in to say 2 things. If you've been taking a medication for years to treat a problem you still have, that's a failure. Time to rethink. After all of you're not living right, what exactly are you asking of the drug?
And reality isn't going to be any different now that you've decided to be sober. I'm sure you know that but it could launch false or mal adjusted hopes to not see it for what it is.
And I really hope you don't get involved with AA. No offense to them but the whole "it's not my fault I have a disease " is just a lame attempt to dodge reality.
@@WoodenThingsAndStuff I treated depression the same way for a while - I think it's okay to do if you don't let it keep you in that nasty pattern. Use it as a transition.
I’m impressed by your honesty. You are on a path of discovery. Give it time and find help. One day at a time is important. My 18 months of sobriety has taught me you are not alone. Stay strong!
Good things happen when we are honest with ourselves. We can always lie to people to make them feel good but it doesn’t help US. Good days ahead for you my friend,
Be bless for that décision, congrat. For mayself I am sober since 1982 after a payer meeting
Well the way I see it you are heading to path of owning your life, that won't be easy but is possible, this could be a one time opportunity so please don't give up, AA and similar groups will help you a lot so reach out for help and get it done.
Man you taking that step too many Ive known dont take. Even if it sucks, your doing something amazing for your loved ones lives.
7 years, was hard at first but completely worth it. In my prayers brother.
I stopped a week before I saw your video, and I've been working so much that it helped me stay sober for a month also. Stay strong, and we can get through this.
Thanks, friend. And congratulations!
Congrats man!! 1 month is a huge milestone. I'm about 11 months sober and just wanted to let you know it got WAY better after about 4 months. Those first few were pretty rough. Everything felt extremely boring. Time slows down and you start to think "will this ever get better? Will I ever be happier?" and I promise you it gets SO much better. By the way, I'm in my 30s and have struggled with depression since I was a teenager. The sadness is real man. Don't worry about all the other stuff right now (eating problems, etc.) just focus on the sobriety. One day at a time, one step at a time.
Anyway, I'm rooting for you and hope the best. Keep on keeping on, you'll feel awesome in a few months. Take care of yourself brother!
I think Steve O said he resents it when people call alcoholism a disease. He very wisely said that alcoholism is just a symptom of the actual underlying disease that causes it, like depression, etc.
Praying for you bud.
Matthew 11:28-30 New Living Translation (NLT)
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
Hey man, I've been struggling to quit drinking, too. Something that motivates me through some of my depression is my 6 month old son. Maybe having a companion that depends on you like a dog would help. Anyway thank you for your videos on this. You helped me when I was struggling.
I have a son, too...but he's a teenager now so he doesn't "need" me like he used to. Still actively spend time with him, though, which always makes me happier.
Hey man I have a very similar story as you, even down to the not doing a good job eating and nutrition, and self medicating because of depression. I have been sober almost a year now. 100% get in and checked out for the anxiety and depression. Turns out I have late diagnosis of ADHD. Got treatment for it and I no longer have the anxiety and depression. Turns out my brain was only seeking out the dopamine hits and because of that I started developing shame and depression from not doing the things I was supposed to be doing. If you are not getting withdrawals from alcohol and are just craving it for the feeling because it helps with mental anguish, then most likely you have ADHD. Keep in mind, untreated ADHD can decrease your life expectancy by 11 years, because of the coping, self medicating, and poor life choices.
Just wanted to add one thing. In the beginning of my journey I felt beat down like you are feeling now. It gets better. Get help now, not later. Dont sit in the pain and anguish longer than you need to be, I wish I would have started so much sooner. You will be surprised how much getting the proper support will get you back on your feet QUICKLY, without the need of alcohol. Ask for help, there are people there for you.
4.5 years for me.
Funny thing is the first 6 months of sobriety for me was ten times worse than the years of being a stupid drunk. But it gets better, slowly, I promise.
It sucks cuz I thought sobriety would fix everything in my life but it only fixed one problem. Luckily it was the biggest problem.
I don't struggle with alcohol, but I know people that do. Not long ago I lost my Uncle to it. A good guy. A very successful guy. But I don't think Alcohol is typically the problem. It's a bandaid covering a wound. A bandaid that makes things worse, infects the wound more. Pulling the bandaid off won't fix the wound. But it stops making it worse, and it gives you access to it. Sleeping is just another bandaid, one I've struggled with. anything to turn your brain off and avoid the real problem. UA-cam can be another one for me. My advice is stop trying to covering up and avoiding the problem. Dive into it, think about, feel it. It's going to suck. bad. But if you can find the source of the problem you can work on it. fix it, or learn how to live with it in a positive way. If you just keep covering it up and ignoring it It's always going to be there. Think of it as a project, a repair. You can keep spraying the squeaky bearing with wd40. it will go quiet for a minute. but it will keep coming back. It will keep getting worse. Eventually it will fail. find the problem. and deal with it directly. I don't know what dealing with it looks like. it might not be somthing you can fix on your own. If you need help get help, If you dont have the right tool or expertise for the job. Find someone that does and ask for help. Learn what works, and what doesnt. Keeping puishing towards what works.
I really appreciate these vids. It took me at least three months to feel 50% human. Sober people I respect suggested not to worry about what i ate, how much I slept, etc. Having an alcoholic mind, all I ever thought about was what I was effing up - all those reasons to drink. I went to bed at 6pm for a month not to drink, the healthiest option in front of me. Keep on brother. It takes what it takes. It takes time. And time takes time.
I feel your struggle man. I've had one, two or three day runs of sobriety, but always seems to go back to it. It sucks. You should be VERY proud of making it a month, that's no small feat.
You're doing great and it sounds like you're on the right path. The first month is the worst, the next 5 aren't going to be super pleasant either. I'm 7 years in, a day at a time. It absolutely gets better.
For me, during that period I felt like I was an exposed nerve. Every little reminder of alcohol lit my brain up. Plus every issue I had before felt worse. The secret is, you're relearning how to deal with life without alcohol as an escape. It's like strength training, but with your emotional mental state. It feels uncomfortable, but it's making you stronger.
As far as the food goes, alcohol is a sugar, so when you cut alcohol it's not uncommon to crave replacing it. For me it was candy. My advice is to not beat yourself up about it and tackle one vice at a time. It's a lot easier to change your diet after you're fully stable in your sobriety.
In general, give yourself the grace to be flawed human you are and acknowledge your accomplishments. Loving yourself for who you are is really what enables you to make the changes required to be the person you want to be.
Your brain has to balance, it will take time. Find a church group or a sober group. Community helps a ton. See a psychiatrist and councilor if you need.
Congratulations I am 3 1/2 years sober good thing you did it now and not like me. I have had a liver transplant and stay off permanently 😊
Always coming back to see how you are doing.
Family and I are wishing you all the best, knowing it's not easy and admiring the effort and bravery to do this so openly.
Thank you for helping some of use not feel so alone.
1/10 like ratio bruh. They always say "addiction is a sickness" is because the person only does that to crutch something underlying.
In early sobriety it felt, for a long time, like my mental health was getting worse-- not better. There was so much that I was angry about. So much that I wasn't working through while I was drinking. All of that had to be confronted. When you are drinking to treat anxiety, you are not treating the anxiety-- only paying the interest on it. But all of that gets better with time and effort my brother, and having a hobby that you're passionate about gives you a head start in this regard; a lot of newly sober guys don't have a hobby, and it is recommended that they pick one up as an urgent priority. Action is a great remedy for sobriety-related discomfort.
My advice... for what it's worth... invite GOD into Everything that you do. We were all created to be in relationship with HIM, and nothing will fill that hole in our hearts other than HIM as we were made that way... on purpose. I talk to HIM all of the time, especially when I'm working in my shop... seemingly all alone, but I'm not alone. Get it ? Once we figure that out.. things change for the best. Trust me... that said... remember to Seek HIM First, and then all things will be added unto you, As is written... and HE is not a man that HE should lie. All of this said... congratulations and sticking with your commitment. Big rewards will follow... and enjoy the journey.
Dude, go to a meeting. It helps. Get a Big Book.
As far as confronting the roots of your depression, that's something only you can sort out. Identify it and apply as many perspectives to it as you can, understand it and let it go. Weigh issues against time. How long will this effect me? A day, a year, forever?
Don't give up on sobriety. It becomes a powerful thing the longer you go.
Good luck!
Congrats on one month! Five years here. My advice, try one small thing at a time and adopt a moment to moment attitude. Meditation helps. Take some time each day to make deliberate choices on three things: 1) exercise (even if it is just walking) 2) eating something healthy 3) take two to three minutes per day to contemplate something or someone you are grateful for.
I really appreciate you sharing your story, I think more people need to hear more stuff like this.
Alcohol, food, sleep are good distractions to keep you away from completing projects. The desire for having the perfect project is overwhelming and sometimes getting wasted is an excuse to keep us away from finishing that project that you’re not satisfied with. I think my problem is the obsession with having everything perfect and the best.
One Month Sober👍
Congratulations on a milestone👍
I have been clean & sober for 6 years this month.(9/5/2018 - 9/5/2024) The first year or so every store that I walked into (to buy groceries or gas) I automatically gravitated to the liquor department. When I got there I had to ask myself, wtf are you doing over here, you don't do this shit anymore. Thats what happens after doing something everyday for over 44 years and not really knowing the real reason why.
One day at a time.
Well, you're looking focused and your attitude has improved noticeably. You may not feel happier, but as you approach life from new angles you may find more happiness. Give yourself time, celebrate your progress, and just keep moving forward. Good going!
Well done, Mike. While alcohol may not seem like it is "the" problem, it sounds like it certainly is "a" problem and being free from it will help you with the other problems. Remember, all your problems will not go away overnight - or, even in a month. Sometimes it helps to make other, simple changes so you can get a different perspective of yourself. Some things you might try ... shave, cut your hair differently, wear different clothes. While these things may seem unrelated, you might be surprised how a different look can change your own perspective of yourself. Although you are sober, when you look in the mirror you still see "the old you" ... making personal appearance changes lets you see a different you.
Keep up the work and you should see changes in your life even if they seem slow to you. I know you told me you don't find certain things compatible with your life but, you could give it a try and recheck that website I sent you.
Keep at it buddy. Still praying for you! I quit a bunch of times but the only time it stuck, was when I did it for Jesus. I don't know why, but everything just got easier, so I'm roll'n with it. Reach out to me if you'd like any of the resources that I came across during my journey.
You should be proud of yourself. It's not easy or fun to realize you have an issue with substances and then to do something about is amazing. Many people avoid this internal conversation. I haven't drank in over 6 years. Two of biggest problems were breaking the routine of drinking and, like you've done, realizing alcohol wasn't the issue it was me and my bad coping skills. Stay strong man.
Congratufuckinlations. Thats a huge step. Im currently struggling with addiction myself. ❤❤❤ Best wishes
Thanks!
CONGRATULATIONS brother.
10 years cocaine free here, all i can say brother is you have started on a lifelong journey, you are strong, you are loved and you are valued.
I hope you find the things that bring you joy. I'm proud to share a world full of people like you!
Way to go, sir.
Thanks!
Good job quitting booze.. I quit cold turkey 7yrs ago and as far as your diet...GO OMAD.
Eating once a day cleans out your brain
God bless
I don’t know you but I’m happy for your ability to stay strong
Thanks! I'm trying!
keep it up. For me, I got on antidepressants, did a truckload of counseling and quit drinking. For me, all of those things went hand in hand. Stay strong.
Thanks for your support!
You are so brave and I love you for being so open to share this battle. So many are struggling so know you are not alone and keep being a light for yourself and others 💕
Keep crushin' it! 5+ years off hard drugs for me!
You are in our prayers to stay sober. 21st I will be sober for 2 months and I have never looked back.
Congratulations on one month sober.
When we remove one thing from our lives we must be careful with what fills that vacuum.
We try to fill this void inside us, and yet nothing satisfies, because only one thing can satisfy.
It took me 40 years to admit Who could fill that void. God will that void for you, and you only need to ask.
Peace be with you. 🙏✝️
You know, its polite to reply to email sent to you rather than ignore it. I subbed to be supportive but you done ruined that so Im unsubbing now.
Please hang in there brother, you are a beacon of hope for so many. Thank you for being so honest. Cheers from Michael. Australia.
Right on! You’re doing it. The alcohol was only the vehicle, the problem is always us but leaving alcohol allows us to think about it clearly.
A month is a baby step. I big baby step no doubt but you need to keep grinding.
Happy is oversold. It’s just one of many emotions. Sad is always gonna be around, just let it be there and get comfortable with it. Content is king and achievable and all it takes is a different outlook to the same old externals.
Keep on with your struggle.
1 Month free! Beautiful. Addiction is a soothing of pain from something else. This journey requires a lot from you brother. Just quitting drinking is never going to be enough. You have to seek a purpose, healing, forgiveness. Allow yourself fail. Allow yourself the time, one step at a time. If you need to sleep 14 hours a day, fine. Just do something with the rest of the 10. If you can only give 10% today, good. You gave 100% of what you could. Recovery isn't about punishing yourself to change but finding new meanings and new directions for your life.
The word recover is a shit word because it pertains that you're returning to a previous 'better state'. But you can never go back to the man you were before the drink. Because you've experienced, learnt and felt. This isn't a recovery, this is a discovery.
Get trimmed up, you'll be so surprised how better you feel when you look good. We're here with you brother
Wow! I love your courage and strength. You are amazing! You are not only helping yourself by making these changes, but you are putting it out there for others to walk through it with you. You're going to get support from your followers, as well as helping others who need to take the same steps you are taking. Kudos to you for having that strength and courage. My husband is a recovering alcholic and drug abuser. God helped jim break the cycle. We are praying that you will continue toward healing from mental issues as well as addiction(s). Its not easy, but its worth it!!!
First, congratulations on the beginning of your journey - I meant to say this when you shared your situation and decision with the world (incredibly bravely I might add) and I subscribed to try to follow along. I'm 2 &1/2 years sober/clean, and I can tell you that life's challenges don't go away because we stop using, but our ability to handle and react to the challenges gets better.
Second, I wanted to share with you how I approach recovery, more specifically addressing the underlying causes that drove me to use, and that is to target the "trifecta" of Mind/Body/Spirit.
For the mind I go to individual therapy, group therapy, and I also attend Smart Recovery (not a 12 step) meetings. Smart Recovery focuses on tools/processes based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and they support cross talk and sharing in a way that's different than other meetings - not to mention they aren't just for drug/alcohol abuse as they can be for any addiction (food, gambling, sex, etc). If you aren't doing at least one of these (individual therapy, group therapy, or Smart Recovery), I encourage to explore these options.
For the body I try to get decent sleep (I don't always succeed), eat better (I don't always succeed), and get more exercise (wait for it...I don't always succeed 🙂). Every little bit helps as positive changes are additive, but people in early recovery tend to focus on when we don't meet our expectations in these areas. Try to give yourself some grace in these areas by recognizing what you do right/better than before and look the parts you don't as growth opportunities.
For the spirit I joined Narcotics Anonymous - and to be clear my "DOC" was alcohol (yes alcohol is a drug). I tried AA a few times, and occasionally go to support friends, but it isn't for me as they end with "the lord's prayer" and that (among other things) rubs me wrong in ways I don't want to get into here. Long story short, those 12 step programs focus on spirituality (not religion - there is a difference between the two I could get into if you want) which was something I seriously lacked as a 30 year "devout" atheist. My whole perspective on spirituality has changed as a result of my journey, and I am still not religious. But I digress... the spiritual principals and approaches you can pick up in a 12 step are another major component to the trifecta and I encourage you to explore the 12 step program that fits you best: AA/NA/DAA/CoDA/etc..
I also bust out a document on the 15 most cognitive distortions when my head starts to swirl with negative/bad thoughts, so I can identify/name my devil so to speak, and that helps me process things out. One of the biggest ones is "shoulds". "I should do X" or "I need to do Y". Shoulds are expectations (of yourself and/or others and/or situations), and expectations are resentments waiting to happen.
I could go on, but I feel like this is already a "too long, didn't read", but I hope you see it and some of this helps you. Just remember to give yourself some grace, focus on the forest instead of the trees when possible, and to use a cliche "take it one day at a time". On that last point I always say I don't know what the future holds, I just know I am not drinking today, I'm not planning on drinking tomorrow, and the rest will sort itself out.
Hang in there brother and remember you are NOT alone.
I read every word. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.
Hang in there ! I did the road you're travelling 5 years ago. I felt exactly the way you're talking. Turns out as I got older, my ability to deal with stress had melted into anxiety and depression. Booze worked until it became the problem. Now it's my meds and my guitar and life is awesome!
Recently hit 90 days. If you look at it as a gain, and not a sacrifice, or as giving something up. It gets easier.
I'm 56 and I have a little over 10 years now without the alcohol, I got drunk every single night when I was drinking and I was sick as hell every day as a result,,,,,, And I know it doesn't work for everyone but for me WEED saved my life and helped me finally stop for good.
I used to smoke a lot in my younger days. Tried to get back into it when it became legal, but it just didn't do it for me. Dunno. Guess it's just not my thing anymore.
Congrtulations on a month! Honestly i feel llike im looking in a mirror watching except for the beard! Everything you say is exactly what im goijg through and feeling... Thank you!
You should really grow a beard. Haha. Thanks friend.
I think I mentioned in my comment on your original video that stopping is just a step and *usually* self-medicating is a symptom. Whatever was making you unhappy, depressed etc. and guided you towards abusing alcohol *will* still be there sadly. I'm confident you'll figure it out - but you were never going to be able to if you continued drinking. You're doing great. Take care.
Thanks friend!
Stay strong brother!
I did this too, my details are different but I had to stop too and my problem was really driven by underlying issues.
I fell off the wagon 2 years later, got back on, and then a few months later started to deal with the (lifelong) underlying mental health issues. Still working on that, a couple of them are chronic (ADHD, OCD) so will probably be working on them for the rest of my life.
But it does get better. It does. You’re heading in the right direction, it took a lot of courage to do that, Just keep on going.
Thanks, friend.
Dude,
When I got sober it became clear very fast that alcohol is not the issue, it is me ingesting alcohol.
Some people can drink normal but I cannot.
Some say ‘I am allergic to alcohol’.
Basically I cannot drink like people who do not have issues with alcohol.
I hope you can find your way one day at a time.
Take away booze and I want to do anything I can to feel better - and that is why I drank.
I had to learn to go through feelings, but no matter what I continued to not drink…eventually, I got better…but it took a long while.
There are processes of learning how to live better sober, compared to how we lived while drinking.
It's not awesome now....but I think it will be. Thanks, friend.
It is going to be hard. Don’t be so hard on yourself about eating habits. You are going through withdrawal. Your body needs time to adjust. Alcohol is a system depressant and everything will be out of wack for a while. Sleep if you need to sleep, find a reason to get up. Watch comedy, listen to some music. Reward yourself for just making the effort. You are so brave to show people just how hard this is. Even if you stumble on your journey, you can do this.
I'm trying to be better at celebrating the small wins like doing laundry the other day. Haha. And making this video. But stil getting upset at myself for "just sleeping" instead of being productive because I'm scared if I head out to the shop to do work, I'll end up heading to the liquor store.
ex-wife is a alcoholic. i understand because i watched her go through the progressions. But good news is, you at least are trying to be sober... she just surropunded herself with drunks and became even worse. Good job my friend! Keep your head up and someday itll all be better, i promise!
I know it will. Thanks, friend.
Thank you for your honesty. I hope you stick with it and that it will become more satisfying over time, as it did for me. The first month was the hardest. What helped me was eating better and going for long walks in the mornings and/or evenings to clear my head. Your comment section is great, use it for what it's worth. I never made a video but get a lot of help myself reading the comment section of other people's sobriety videos. Onwards and upwards!
Thanks friend!
Bit like when you take a motor apart my man - you start finding other stuff needs fixing.
It’s not a defect in you, it’s just life.
Just keep fixing each thing, one-by-one and soon enough you’ll start running out of things that need fixing.
Keep up the good work, you got this.
Thanks, friend. I agree. One thing at a time.
I was the same way as you. Drinking to deal with depression was my thing as well. I dealt with the underlying issues while getting sober. I’m at 1.5 yrs and am very happy now. Not because I’m sober, but because I was able to face my underlying issues more clearly. Good luck sir, and please keep it up. I promise it will be rewarding in the end.
Also, you may find around month three or four, a new found bit of energy and a bit of euphoria. Some people go through this. It happened for me and I really embraced it.
Looking forward to month three or four now. haha
Thanks, friend.
$5 in booze a day, times 30 days, . . . $150 . . . . go get you a Lee Valley block plane. You deserve it, sorta . . . . not really, but you make shavings and you forget about booze.
It was more like $50 a day, once or twice a week. And I already have the Veritas DX60. But I'm definitely going to be rewarding myself with tools. haha
I’m here to support you… one step at a time… you’ll figure out what works best for you and adjust accordingly…. That’s all that matters….
Yeah....every day I don't go to the liquor store is a win. Everything else will hopefully come in time.
Hell yes. You are an inspiration. One day at a time my brother.
I have struggled for years with my sobriety, God bless you on your journey. Hope I can make it 30 days at some point.
Well done … super proud of you Sir!!!! ❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉
One day at a time. Clarity of a sober mind will help you to fix what’s making you as or seek help to fix what’s making you sad.
Sober is a massive accomplishment my friend, recognise the good every day. Not drinking each day is a huge massive win!! Xxx
The booze may not have been causing the depression but it certainly makes it worse and stopping is a huge first step. BTW, if you haven’t seen Steve-O’s podcast, I highly recommend it. He’s amazingly insightful and articulate when discussing his own sobriety and giving advice to others.
Things are better, just look at your nose compared to the last video. You have to start looking for the positives, even the smallest win is still a win brother. Keep pushing forward!
Every day I don't stop at the liquor store is a win. Thanks, friend.
The alcohol is rarely the problem. I posted on your first vid a month ago, and I will reiterate what I said last time, and what a lot of other people have suggested in this comment section, that I found so much benefit from being part of a program of recovery (AA is a good one). Get a program, get a sponsor, do the work, find your joy.
I was depressed and suicidal for 15 years until I discovered joy again through 12 step work. It's possible to recover. You sound like you're "white knuckling it". One month is impressive to do this all on your own! But, it'd be better with a sponsor and a fellowship of alcoholics would could help out and encourage you. Just saying.
1 month isn't enough to see significant change. Ideally, psychologists aren't even supposed to do psych evaluations and prescribe medication for addicts until 6 months of sobriety. That can be tough depending on what someone is addicted to. I agree about the liquor on every corner, but it becomes more and more liberating to drive by and gets easier and easier. For food, baby steps. Something that overloads people during attempts at sobriety is making all sorts of dramatic life changes at once. Everyone always tries to get sober, eat better, and work out, all at the same time. It's a recipe for disaster to crash and burn and relapse. Eat absolutely whatever you want right now. Sit around and binge TV while you eat a bag of chips and call for take-out if that's what you feel like doing. During one of my bouts of sobriety I actually went to the grocery store every day after work and chose a meal to make. Between shopping, cooking, eating, cleaning, it was at least 2 hours. That would bring me around the time it was to just sit and relax before bed. A better and more structured approach that I use now was to make a wallet size list with 3 separate 6 day worth of food lists. This way I wasn't eating the same list every week. I shop every Sunday or do a big buy every other Sunday. Example would be chicken Mondays, pasta Tuesdays, steak Wednesdays, throwback Thursdays, leftover Fridays, take out Saturdays, etc. Routine and structure are important to me. When applied on one aspect in your life, it rolls over to other aspects and things really start to straighten out. Long story short, don't expect much right now. Make a much longer and more realistic timeline of expectations. Set some benchmarks to achieve in the 1-2 year range. Maybe even make some dramatic changes in appearance. I had a beard and long hair when I was drinking. I cut my hair and shave clean now as a daily visual representation of my cleaner lifestyle. I know that's very dramatic as you have a gnarly beard, but it 1000% helps me personally. Good luck sir.
It's tough-going to quit in and of itself as our brains gets used to alcohol's effects; however, removing the alcohol will help you see what the real issues are as you are already seeing and sharing. Something that has helped me is knowing that alcohol is a liar and I don't need a relationship with a liar.
Agreed. Thanks.
I don't know you, but I'm so damn proud of you.
@@JoseSotoCanHelp I appreciate that. Thanks.
@@WoodenThingsAndStuff
I saw your first video a month ago. Now I saw this and subscribed.
You remind me of a friend I had when I was studying woodworking. He got away from all of this after he got treatment. He started to seek solution once his daughter was born and for him too, he realised he was running away from something with all that destructive behaviour. It was quite a long journey and it still is, but he has stayed on his path.
I believe you can as well.
Keep going brother, you are doing great to yourself. Congratulations and thanks for let people knowing, you are helping other with your influence!
I appreciate that