Men before you get married, make sure you are at a point where you can't live without being married! Make sure you only marry to get that which you can't get outside marriage.
This is a critical part of the intimacy dynamics between the man and the woman. Another aspect of the dynamics is the fact that intimacy is for mutual benefits, whether with respect to pleasure, relief, procreation, strengthening of the marriage-bond, etc. The mutuality component naturally demands that both parties contribute to making it work. Making love in the context of marriage should not be seen as a privilege earned through worship (called "romance"), and from the man to the woman, but rather as a contribution by both parties to the maintenance of the relationship. The man needs to do his part, and the woman does her part to build this beautiful relationship. There's a lot of perspectives to this situation more than the correct disposition portrayed by the video. I'm just saying, though.
My bro, God bless you. It seems like it is a priviledge for the woman to give the man. This is why it is always weaponised. May men get to the point that sex or not, they are fine. This is why it is important that men chase purpose.
Good counsel sir. However, I have learnt in my 16yrs of marriage that you can't please a woman. Just do your best but never allow yourself 2 be manipulated in2 carrying out her whims and caprices just 4 Jerusalem sake. If she denies you your right unduly, seek your satisfaction else where or in other things you enjoy. Do not build your life and future around her... cos you will surely be disappointed. Trust me there is more 2 life than marriage Thanks.
Pretty sure you didn't listen to this video before making your own conclusion n posting a response. Please listen again from beginning to end n learn. Your post shows that you really need to sit at Dr Apoki's feet to learn wisdom. You sure need a lot of wisdom. I can imagine what your wife is suffering from you.
@@lilyefegreat458 someone who already left his wife, you can lick his feet for your own wisdom. Say what you like, women can't be satisfied. The best thing a man can do is to be the best version of himself, with or without a woman
You’re quite correct sir but this theory should be applied with discretion. If you become too soft she totally disrespects you, if you become too hard, you push her away. It’s dicey just like a Mercedes, drive too hard you destroy the AMG or get a fatal accident, don’t drive at all or too slow, you never enjoy that sweet automobile experience of an AMG
Dr Apoki, you are indeed a genius. Thanks for your vulnerability. Many men approach women from logical angles, but it has to be from emotional angles. If you are going for fishing, you take worms not cake / fufu. You have to look at things from their perspective. Many Christian men especially are quick to point to “wives submit.,,” as if their wives are robots.
Great video but woman of today are cut from a different cloth. If you are not sharply you will go broke and then dumped for being broke. It has become a lot more complicated for men to navigate this issue today.
He is right, but it mostly works on married couples. It's a different dynamic, when you're dating I agree that girls are simply insane. If you're dating, never date someone who you can't see yourself marry
Maximum respect sir. My perspective is this: the key to Jerusalem is like the four fingers and the thumb. Without the thumb the four fingers are next to useless. Without the fingers, the thumb can do wonders. Key to my analogy : everything mentioned are the four fingers except money( the thumb). Men, make sure you are capable (money) and with the four fingers, you will become a perpetual pilgrim.
Any woman that deprived her husband with sex is not a good wife. Send her back to her father a good wife will always long to spend time with her husband in the other room .many of you relationships expert on social media are just confusing us.
This is wisdom at its Best... When it comes to these matters..... I have watched a couple of video from your Channel hadn't yet Subscribed, But this one has made me Do so..
God bless you sir. I just stumbled upon this video. Indeed you are such a mentor to have. I will contact you soon. However, don't be on a look out for me sir. LOL God bless you.
@@kosiekoos9408you want to victim blame abi? A man without wisdom cannot be helped by anyone. You don't have to do anything to him, it is common sense which he just does not have that's his problem.
As a young married man, though, not too young and as one who married in Europe and do not have most challenges identified by @charles. However, I agree with Dr Charles but i will say men should be becareful and wise in applyibg this formula. This is because, what arouse a woman today will not work tomorrow trust me. So, therefore, base on my personal experience, men should be creative and unpredictable to their wives in pleasing them. Nonetheless ooh, always prepare your mind to be disappointed irrespective of your efforts 😂😂😂. Truth be told, now I understand why our ancestors both in the bible married more than 1 wife, it 100% does make sense now but what can we do as unfortunately society have gradually declined it to be wrong 😢😢. Again, one unfortunate thing I have notice is, because our stupid body knows that we will not always get it when we asked for it, the body will be wanting it more than when you know its always available 😢 what an irony 😅😅😅
Lazy Man!!! You are not hearing Dr. Apoki because you don't want to do the god given mission of making your one wife truly happy. American men love to talk polygamy because they hate working at being a decent and responsible man with their one wife. These men need more than one women, so that the women can be consumed and distracted with their competitiveness and jealousy. Henceforth, the women in the polygamist relationship will no longer the notice the failure of the man and only the obsession of beating out the other women for his attention. Happy wife happy life will always reign supreme. The highest grossing economies like China don't focus on pum pum like other poorer countries. They focus on education, money and strong families. Poor and powerless men with harems of wayward women, do not drive the progression of successful and rich societies.
As a medical doctor with 40 years experience, married for 39 years and masters degree holder in the social sciences and a scavenger for knowledge I accumulated knowledge and experience over the years. As a Christian I pray in the spirit and meditate a lot. It is 1:30 am but I am still working. It's been like that since I was 16 years old now I am 65.
Dr. A Godly man and a righteous wife who knows the scriptures will understand that her body is not her own, and him as well. What you are saying seems like a husband should be paying for his wife to have sex with him. Here’s biblical point when it comes to married couples and sex. 1Corinthians 7:1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. DEFRAUDING IS BAD WETHER FROM THE WOMAN OR THE MAN.
Ur points are valid. However, Dr is only trying to say that men should add respect and romance to the fact that they should not be denied their conjugal rights. Hope u can tell the difference between a wife that engages with her husband joyfully and the one that was forced. In one instance, the" journey" will be smooth while in the other, it seems u engage with a log of wood. Pls men try and be nice to Ur wives cos any high hand u give your woman now, will be measured back in old age if care is not taken. Thanks
@omiteisaac2278 Why should the Man go above & beyond what is rightfully his according to scripture? What role does the woman play? Hold out until she feels "loved" or gets what she wants? During courtship she'd be the one pursuing intimacy to keep you locked down. Now that you are yoked, she's holding back & using intimacy as a bargaining tool!!!
@@dholuo35 So many factors can lead to her holding back. Most especially when she begins to feel disrespected by the one who she poured all out for. Note that this happens mostly in marriages that are not so new. When a man starts taking his wife for granted, hmm, if that woman is not broken to an extented, the natural being in her that has the ability to withdraw starts playing out. My opinion is that husbands should take time to study the chemistry and dimensions on women/wives. They can be loving but 'dangerous' in terms of decision making. But to round it up, what will it cost a husband to be kind/ nice to his wife?. Whatever it maybe, a simple dialogue can solve it. It can only be achieved by mature minds though 🌞 It takes two to tango. But Dr Apoki has given his wise counsel and this shld be termed as one key point to live long as a man. The more the mind is cluttered in relationships the worse it is for men. I rest my case for now . Thanks just my opinion as earlier said
@charles, this your strategy doesnt work for women these days, there are medical and psychological reason why women switch off from sex from their husbands especially after child birth. Your suggestion will place the man in a vulnerable position and allow his wife to weaponize sex towards her husband a form of emotional abuse alot of men suffer from
@@DrCharlesApoki A woman’s libido significantly diminishes after child birth and this overtime will impact her sexual desire with her spouse. Unfortunately a lot of couples don’t know about this. It is important for men to understand that after child birth they will begin to have less sexual encounters with their wives, regardless of the effort they make they will not be able to reverse the sexual peak they enjoyed with their wives before child birth.
@@johnblaze816Is there any spike after child birth when they become more confident and without cares of children and pregnancy? Because I have read literature that supports my question.
@@DrCharlesApoki of course there is spike after childbirth but her sexual desire will never return to the pre-pregnancy levels largely due to a gradual decline of her oxytocin and dopamine levels a crucial hormone necessary for sexual arousal.
Men before you get married, make sure you are at a point where you can't live without being married! Make sure you only marry to get that which you can't get outside marriage.
Very useful information. I am Black American, 62, living in America. I feel that compassion, and mutual respect are important.
Baba you're a national treasure 🎉🎉🎉🎉
Great wisdom Dr.Apoki, I have learnt something all the way from Zambia.
Your type of African man is rare
Not really
There's millions out there
This is a critical part of the intimacy dynamics between the man and the woman. Another aspect of the dynamics is the fact that intimacy is for mutual benefits, whether with respect to pleasure, relief, procreation, strengthening of the marriage-bond, etc. The mutuality component naturally demands that both parties contribute to making it work. Making love in the context of marriage should not be seen as a privilege earned through worship (called "romance"), and from the man to the woman, but rather as a contribution by both parties to the maintenance of the relationship. The man needs to do his part, and the woman does her part to build this beautiful relationship. There's a lot of perspectives to this situation more than the correct disposition portrayed by the video. I'm just saying, though.
My bro, God bless you. It seems like it is a priviledge for the woman to give the man. This is why it is always weaponised. May men get to the point that sex or not, they are fine. This is why it is important that men chase purpose.
You have spoken pure truth, Dr Apoki 🙏🏾 As a woman, I completely agree
Good counsel sir. However, I have learnt in my 16yrs of marriage that you can't please a woman. Just do your best but never allow yourself 2 be manipulated in2 carrying out her whims and caprices just 4 Jerusalem sake. If she denies you your right unduly, seek your satisfaction else where or in other things you enjoy. Do not build your life and future around her... cos you will surely be disappointed. Trust me there is more 2 life than marriage Thanks.
Well said
Hope in seeking, you will not bring sickness and mind you, you will still spend money before getting the satisfaction from else where
Pretty sure you didn't listen to this video before making your own conclusion n posting a response. Please listen again from beginning to end n learn. Your post shows that you really need to sit at Dr Apoki's feet to learn wisdom. You sure need a lot of wisdom. I can imagine what your wife is suffering from you.
@@lilyefegreat458 someone who already left his wife, you can lick his feet for your own wisdom.
Say what you like, women can't be satisfied.
The best thing a man can do is to be the best version of himself, with or without a woman
@@joyndidiamakaedosomwan2425 He said you can also seek your joy in other things asides women in general
Very open and sincere I wish all men will listen to your advice
Well said Sir. I thoroughly enjoyed this!
THIS IS A REALLY GOOD VIDEO! WHY? BECAUSE IT IS VERY TRUE. 😂
Thanks so much please share with others.
You’re quite correct sir but this theory should be applied with discretion. If you become too soft she totally disrespects you, if you become too hard, you push her away. It’s dicey just like a Mercedes, drive too hard you destroy the AMG or get a fatal accident, don’t drive at all or too slow, you never enjoy that sweet automobile experience of an AMG
In other words "balance"
I am laughing my brains off. You said you will be aggressive during the day at work and then crawl down like a cockroach at night!😅😅😅
Yes 😂😂😂
😂😂
Dr Akpoki is a wise man he visited my church in port Harcourt his teaches exposes you to the reality of life 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
That analogy about the mad woman's lock of hair is fire!!!
Thank you for the wisdom Granny ❤ blessings
"You cannot go to Jerusalem with a sweating pilot"😅😅.. Dr. Apoki you are unique😂😂
😂😂😂 I always get to Jerusalem sweaty, but hold on, I just realized am the passenger not the pilot 😅😅
🤣🤣🤣@@Enabu1
Thank daddy. I won't miss this coming seminar.
Dr Apoki, you are indeed a genius. Thanks for your vulnerability. Many men approach women from logical angles, but it has to be from emotional angles. If you are going for fishing, you take worms not cake / fufu. You have to look at things from their perspective. Many Christian men especially are quick to point to “wives submit.,,” as if their wives are robots.
So true.
You are a man of the people. I want to talk to you one day
Great video but woman of today are cut from a different cloth. If you are not sharply you will go broke and then dumped for being broke. It has become a lot more complicated for men to navigate this issue today.
He is right, but it mostly works on married couples. It's a different dynamic, when you're dating I agree that girls are simply insane.
If you're dating, never date someone who you can't see yourself marry
Maximum respect sir. My perspective is this: the key to Jerusalem is like the four fingers and the thumb. Without the thumb the four fingers are next to useless. Without the fingers, the thumb can do wonders. Key to my analogy : everything mentioned are the four fingers except money( the thumb). Men, make sure you are capable (money) and with the four fingers, you will become a perpetual pilgrim.
What a great fingering insight...money. Finance and romance are twins.😂😂😂😂🗝️🔐
Thank you Sir for this
But every Woman and marriage are unique on their own.
It's not a one solution fits all, especially in these times.
Preach am oh dear Sir. Preach am 🙏🏽 He who has ears should hear.
Drinking from this fountain from Kenya.
Modern Day King Solomon. You are wise Doc
Thanks Doctor, I agree with everything you said but they will forever need more for the gate to be open.They are never grateful or satisfied.
FACTS UPON FACTS!
Any woman that deprived her husband with sex is not a good wife .period
They are usually grateful at that moment then you have to creative again as you need it another time.
Hence life style just way of handling. 😂😂
Sometimes I wish we were just like animals. Women use mount Olive to reward, abuse and use men
Women are very easy to please. Men just would rather be nice to people (side chicks) outside than to their wives because of ego n lack of wisdom.
Another banger!! Words of wisdom.
Dr Charles, thanks. I will definitely give you a shout one of these days.
I always enjoy your videos great job you're doing I love this one a lot would share it with my husband lol
Waohh this is really inspiring!!
Any woman that deprived her husband with sex is not a good wife. Send her back to her father a good wife will always long to spend time with her husband in the other room .many of you relationships expert on social media are just confusing us.
Just learn.
Dey play 😂
Omo na simps full here 😂
Lol. You never jam
Doctor Apoki, please kindly educate this young man.
He needs trainings he didn't get from home
Good video. Real talk.
Thanks for all you do sir, you're a rare gem
My pleasure
Great counsel.. you softened my heart o.. loved the example of patience...
Good sermon!
Nah wahhh for you Dr.Akpoki well done xx🎉
This is experiential Knowledge.....Thank you for sharing this golden wisdom
Thank you, Dr. Charles
You are very welcome
Happy listening to your priceless pieces of advice. Tks again Sir
This is wisdom at its Best... When it comes to these matters..... I have watched a couple of video from your Channel hadn't yet Subscribed, But this one has made me Do so..
Me too, I immediately clicked subscribe button after listening.
Good to hear from you sir these is what meny people don't understand my professor
Dr Charles Akpoooookkiii😅😅 thank you for the words of wisdom.
Mercedes grace,mercy and reward
Dr. Charles Apoki, very apt and instructive. God bless you for😊 sharing so deeply from the heart.
A very useful channel
Thanks you so much.
You are God-Sent🙏 Thank you Dr, Mentor and Area Grand Father. Greetings from Kigali
Dr Apoki you make me laugh even when I am serious, very informative and humorous, viva.
Watching you from Zambia 🇿🇲 ❤
😂😂😂. I love the wisdom of the native doctor.
Thank you sir for the advice
Thank you sar, I am a 23 year old guy. Your words help shape my thoughts
I can’t stop laughing ❤️Thank you Dr Apoki
Well said
Thank you so much sir, for this lovely lovely 🎉teaching.❤❤❤❤❤ I am so happy
wisdom chief
I love the last part of the video where we have to "deaf" 😂😂 so so real and true papa
Original Grandfather na you bikooooo. Ndewo for this advice.
Fantastic story
Many many thanks
I am learning alot from u daddy
God bless you❤
Amen.
Great, thanks sir
Great man sir
This is Wisdom.
Keep keeping ship sailing
Nice video❤❤
God bless you sir.
I just stumbled upon this video.
Indeed you are such a mentor to have.
I will contact you soon. However, don't be on a look out for me sir. LOL
God bless you.
Wow i wish my x husband listened to this....treating me like a dog during the day and expecting jerusalem at night, couldn't work
😭😭😭😭😭
But what is your part? You totally innocent? What did u do to him?
@@kosiekoos9408 Women believe they're innocent by default.
Now you are someone's sidekick 😅😆
@@kosiekoos9408you want to victim blame abi? A man without wisdom cannot be helped by anyone. You don't have to do anything to him, it is common sense which he just does not have that's his problem.
God bless you more sir.
I really wish all men could see this. It is true.
I love u sir God bless u real good.
As a young married man, though, not too young and as one who married in Europe and do not have most challenges identified by @charles. However, I agree with Dr Charles but i will say men should be becareful and wise in applyibg this formula. This is because, what arouse a woman today will not work tomorrow trust me. So, therefore, base on my personal experience, men should be creative and unpredictable to their wives in pleasing them. Nonetheless ooh, always prepare your mind to be disappointed irrespective of your efforts 😂😂😂.
Truth be told, now I understand why our ancestors both in the bible married more than 1 wife, it 100% does make sense now but what can we do as unfortunately society have gradually declined it to be wrong 😢😢.
Again, one unfortunate thing I have notice is, because our stupid body knows that we will not always get it when we asked for it, the body will be wanting it more than when you know its always available 😢 what an irony 😅😅😅
Lazy Man!!! You are not hearing Dr. Apoki because you don't want to do the god given mission of making your one wife truly happy. American men love to talk polygamy because they hate working at being a decent and responsible man with their one wife. These men need more than one women, so that the women can be consumed and distracted with their competitiveness and jealousy. Henceforth, the women in the polygamist relationship will no longer the notice the failure of the man and only the obsession of beating out the other women for his attention. Happy wife happy life will always reign supreme. The highest grossing economies like China don't focus on pum pum like other poorer countries. They focus on education, money and strong families. Poor and powerless men with harems of wayward women, do not drive the progression of successful and rich societies.
Wow
Thank you sir
Doctor Charles, how come you know so much on so many issues.?
As a medical doctor with 40 years experience, married for 39 years and masters degree holder in the social sciences and a scavenger for knowledge I accumulated knowledge and experience over the years. As a Christian I pray in the spirit and meditate a lot. It is 1:30 am but I am still working. It's been like that since I was 16 years old now I am 65.
Beautiful 😇👋❤
God bless you sir
True baba there's different July or August,u will realize it....
My friend
Human philosophies...
good sir ,were you a student of GCU ,I KOPE KEEP THE SHIP SAILING IS IN ORDER?
We are 41k Amazing
Glory to God.
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
True words.
👏🏽
❤
This should be required upbringing for boys.
Is this a university?
Dr. A Godly man and a righteous wife who knows the scriptures will understand that her body is not her own, and him as well. What you are saying seems like a husband should be paying for his wife to have sex with him. Here’s biblical point when it comes to married couples and sex.
1Corinthians 7:1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
DEFRAUDING IS BAD WETHER FROM THE WOMAN OR THE MAN.
Ur points are valid. However, Dr is only trying to say that men should add respect and romance to the fact that they should not be denied their conjugal rights. Hope u can tell the difference between a wife that engages with her husband joyfully and the one that was forced. In one instance, the" journey" will be smooth while in the other, it seems u engage with a log of wood. Pls men try and be nice to Ur wives cos any high hand u give your woman now, will be measured back in old age if care is not taken. Thanks
@omiteisaac2278 Why should the Man go above & beyond what is rightfully his according to scripture? What role does the woman play? Hold out until she feels "loved" or gets what she wants? During courtship she'd be the one pursuing intimacy to keep you locked down. Now that you are yoked, she's holding back & using intimacy as a bargaining tool!!!
@@dholuo35 So many factors can lead to her holding back. Most especially when she begins to feel disrespected by the one who she poured all out for. Note that this happens mostly in marriages that are not so new. When a man starts taking his wife for granted, hmm, if that woman is not broken to an extented, the natural being in her that has the ability to withdraw starts playing out. My opinion is that husbands should take time to study the chemistry and dimensions on women/wives. They can be loving but 'dangerous' in terms of decision making. But to round it up, what will it cost a husband to be kind/ nice to his wife?. Whatever it maybe, a simple dialogue can solve it. It can only be achieved by mature minds though 🌞
It takes two to tango. But Dr Apoki has given his wise counsel and this shld be termed as one key point to live long as a man. The more the mind is cluttered in relationships the worse it is for men. I rest my case for now . Thanks just my opinion as earlier said
Sadly I am separated from my wife because of this issue.
@@tboy5443
I won’t be surprise if you tell me that your wife goes to church. The churches have been lying to us all. The pastors are liars.
He’s so funny. Thank you @Dr charles apoki
Papa Apoki
Thank you Daddy
Experience is the best knowledge
@charles, this your strategy doesnt work for women these days, there are medical and psychological reason why women switch off from sex from their husbands especially after child birth. Your suggestion will place the man in a vulnerable position and allow his wife to weaponize sex towards her husband a form of emotional abuse alot of men suffer from
Please sir give us your suggestions that's why we are here. It's a dialogue. Tell us what works nowadays.
Maybe I am old school.
@@DrCharlesApoki A woman’s libido significantly diminishes after child birth and this overtime will impact her sexual desire with her spouse. Unfortunately a lot of couples don’t know about this. It is important for men to understand that after child birth they will begin to have less sexual encounters with their wives, regardless of the effort they make they will not be able to reverse the sexual peak they enjoyed with their wives before child birth.
@@johnblaze816Is there any spike after child birth when they become more confident and without cares of children and pregnancy? Because I have read literature that supports my question.
@@DrCharlesApoki of course there is spike after childbirth but her sexual desire will never return to the pre-pregnancy levels largely due to a gradual decline of her oxytocin and dopamine levels a crucial hormone necessary for sexual arousal.
@@johnblaze816 What then should the couple do? Give up?😂😂😂
Watch this at 2x speed
You are wise
Dr Apoki my friend, my wife is 66 she says heaven gates are closed from the time she reached 60
😂😂😂😂😂
Mad woman thing was Kwazy!!🤯🤯
Seems its predominantly women that is complimenting this post...
😂😂😂humorous and educative