Säkkijärven Polkka but you're off your face on Pervitin
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- Опубліковано 5 лют 2025
- With massive thanks to @TurboA for permission to use his fantastic remix of Säkkijärven Polkka which you can find here - • Säkkijärven Polkka / E...
Allan Koivunen was a Finnish soldier in the Continuation War and the first documented case of a soldier overdosing on methamphetamine during combat. Three days into their mission on 18 March, the group was attacked and surrounded by Soviet forces, from whom they were able to escape. Koivunen became fatigued after skiing for a long distance but could not stop. He was carrying his patrol's entire supply of army-issued Pervitin, or methamphetamine, a stimulant used to remain awake while on duty. He consumed the entire supply of Pervitin, and had a short burst of energy, but soon entered a state of delirium and eventually lost consciousness. Koivunen later recalled waking up the following morning, separated from his patrol and having no supplies.
In the following days, Koivunen escaped Soviet forces once again, was injured by a land mine, and stayed in a ditch for a week, waiting for help. In the week that he was gone, he subsisted only on pine buds and a single Siberian jay that he caught and ate raw. Having skied more than 400 km (248.5 mi), he was later found and admitted to a nearby hospital, where his heart rate was measured at 200 beats per minute, and he weighed only 43 kg (94.8 lbs).
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Meme for the Win
"fallout is so unrealistic, drugs don't give you superpowers!"
meanwhile in finland...
Drugs quite literally give you superpowers, but at a cost.
@@DrBright5558 at what cost...
@@waterwatereverywhere3574 General health and all the negative effects of drug use.
"Finlandia Finlandia"
@@waterwatereverywhere3574 Well, ask the germans. They had pervitin that is pure medicinal grade methamphetamine in general stores through out the late 20s all the way to the end of the war. German soldiers and housewives popped them like candy. The devastation to their dopaminergic system was such that most of them were chronically severly depressed and unable to feel any sort of joy for years, 2-10 years after cessation of intake. Women killing their babies and men killing themselves was a pandemic in germany after the war.
There were also tests on combining oxycontin (its rather weird it still has a patent today when it was already free back in the 40s buts thats just us fascism), cocaine and methamphetamine to create a supersoldier pill which would allow soldiers to march with out stopping for several days on end.
The concoction worked, the test group it was issued to according to doctors orders marched for I think 5 or 7 days nonstop with food and water intake scaled appropriately.
The entire battle group, it was a large one can't remember the size, collapsed and was unable to move or even stand up for two weeks despite given more pills and IV hydration.
There's both short term and long term devastation to your body. This is somewhat integrated into fallouts mechanics, with chem addiction and perks which either increase your chemical resistance to addiction and lower boost of drugs or vice versa, increase sensitivity meaning drugs last longer with the caveat you develop addiction faster.
Meaning you need to keep taking it or you're constantly fatigued with out it.
Some say the Cocaine Bear was the world's deadliest predator for ten minutes, but Pervitin-Finn was the deadliest person alive for over a week.
@@ViewTube_Dan that paragraph isn't doing him justice considering how many things happened to him on that 400km journey
This guy should be code name Assassin!
THE PERVI-FINN!
TWO weeks
And they said 40k eversor assassins are unrealistic
Soviet Conscript "The snow is not just talking, IT'S FUCKING SCREAMING!"
PERKELE!
and stealing catalytic converters!
Ivan:"The snow is speaking?" Vlad:"No, the snow is _tweaking!"_
@
Ivan: that would explain missing copper wire
Vlad: da, also missing cough drops and -
Simo: *nails vlad with a rifle at 200 yds*
Ivan: blyat, what kind of sorcery was that? VLAD?!?!
Aimo: not sorcery, just proper training and enough whoop chicken to keep an elephant up for a week straight *fires SMG*
P E R K E L E
PERKELEE🗣🔥🔥🇫🇮🇫🇮🇫🇮🇫🇮🇫🇮🇫🇮🇫🇮🇫🇮🇫🇮🇫🇮🇫🇮🇫🇮🔥🔥
OI SATANA
“Is that a drugged up finish solider on skis?”
“No, that’s every day.”
"I don't have enough time to even care about this..."
Talkin bout drugged soldier? How bout russian? Stalin and Putin? Huh?!
RAHHH WHAT THE HELL IS AN OVERDOSE 🎿🎿🗣🗣🔥🇫🇮🇫🇮🔥🗣🇫🇮🇫🇮🇫🇮
We call it dedication here 😤
He was gifted the Meth secretly by twin sisters.
He actually did overdose, he was the first soldier documented to overdose
PERKELE🇫🇮🇫🇮🇫🇮
Imagine being a Soviet conscript, and your first contact with the enemy involves seeing a crazed injured Finnish soldier on skis who is out running a BT-7, screaming straight into and through your local command headquarters
😂😂😂 The level of WTAF that would have been on my face seeing that ish😂
PERKELE
“Ugh, how did I get assigned to this post? Nothing ever happens here…”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-“
“…What the actual FU-“
I would immediately shit more bricks than NYC and run away praying for God to save me
And then realizing that you are not a Soviet conscipt, you are drug-fueled hallucination in the mind of that Finnish soldier
"Aimo has a life-altering revelation that he has been put on this planet to do two things and two things only: outrun the Soviets and steal catalytic converters and those aren't going to be invented for like another 35 years" - Chubby Electron Guy
😂😂😂😂
Where is the catalytic converter line from?
@@VRichardsn The Fat Electrician
idk why they didnt just use the actual audio from The Fat Electrician's video, since they used his exact words for this video
U see his squad got back home safe n sound?
This reminds me of that one idea to have an olympics with no restrictions on substances to see what the human body can really do
That sounds ledgendary
lol sounds Fun untill u try to wrangle the Drugt up to the starting Line .. AND then try to tell them the Race is over and the dint Win ...
Let's see just how high a human can jump.
Mmm drugmaxxing
so like some of older olympics?
pov:you almost crossed enemy lines without noticing
While high and you realize the enemy soldier standing before you I just a pile of snow
The part where they were surrounded probably happened behind the enemy lines, so crossing them without noticing is probably how he got back.
The best part about this story is that there were no other soldiers that could recount this tale except Allan, so as far as we know, this very much could’ve also all been a hallucination and he just went into the woods, passed out and woke up a week later.
Well there is some merit to it. After all He was found 400km away from his last seen location
@@aleksiheija8170And I’d imagine he didn’t exactly fake being injured by a land mine or suffering from severe starvation.
@@tannerraque4348 Indeed.
His recount is debatable but he definitely went on one hell of an adventure
He definitely didn’t pass out… until the Pervatin wore off anyway. People on a meth high stay awake for days depending on the amount taken then crash.
i love the part when he gets into a fist fight with a wolverine for a few hours just to later realise it was a tree branch.
He beat the wolverine and tree so hard he only found tree branch after.
and broke his compass in the process...
For those wondering "why didn't Aimo take controlled doses?", he couldn't. The freezing temperature had made the pills stick together. And being desperate he decided "Fug it" and consumed the whole block at once
Besides, people back then didn't have access to information about such things like today. Most of the time the medics just distribute the drug and say don't take more than the recommended dosage don't explain what would happen if you do. If you don't know about that you'd probably think it can't be worse than taking two spoons of cough syrup instead of one.
@@minhducnguyen9276Yeah instead they're downing the whole bottle of cough syrup and going on a wild trip.
@@lannyoneil8099 Oh they definitely did it back then. even Before WW 2, pervitine was sold commonly in the drug stores in Germany. Just in case you are expecting a hard day and coffee might not cut it.
@@lannyoneil8099 They had a more liberal use regarding drugs back then. Pervitin was commonly sold in Germany after WW1 in the drugstore, just in case you are expecting a hard day and coffee is not gonna cut it.
allan most likely felt like the free bird solo in itself
He became the freebird solo.
FREEEEEEEEEEEEEE BIRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDd
Ironically he also ate a bird raw while collapsed in snow lol
Allan Törni was the soldier of 3 armies
I'm pretty sure the pervitin dude was Aimo Koivunen
@@jubisvaldo5450r/whooooosh
Fun fact, after WW2 the majority of veterans who developed substance abuse problems were addicted to morphine and other kinds of painkillers, to alleviate various injuries they sustained in combat. The only exception was Finland, where most drug-addicted vets overdosed on Pervitin during long winter patrols.
That's... dark.
Like their half-year Winters.
Same for Japan. In fact, their entire post-war economic boom ran on meth, and it remained an enormous issue for decades.
It's quite possibly the main reason anyone ever kept up with their crazy work hours.
It was pretty common, the US air force was cycling on amphetamines during their missions to stay alert and barbiturates when they were supposed to rest. People have been abusing drugs since we discovered alcohol.
Yeah, i aint veteran.. But everythin is broken.. And Kids are throwin me with rocks and tell me To get an Job... I dont want his mail anymore.
@@itskyansaroused To be. And as an kid we sometimes skiid 20-30 km and were In 20-25 - celsiusta... We didnt have drugs.
The Fallout drug sound at the end was the "icing" on the cake
That's gotta be the "coldest" pun ever.
the fact that this was a real story and that this dude was the closest a human beign was to an Bio-analog equivalent of cyberpsychosis and lived to tell the tales is awesome
dont underestimate the people of Finnlandia
Russian swearing in the background makes it even better. Like they are desperatr to catch up
"Not so fast suka, my blyatokhods are failing!"
This dude singlehandedly carry entire pill stack for the trip to become a super soldier
"I can do this all day..."
(Pops another fistful of 'fet) 😳🤯
i've played RPGs that was a quest item; he used it at the right time.
he knew what he had. XD
I am so fucking impressed with 1:44 - “JUMALAUTA! JUMALAUTA!”
In Finnish it’s pretty much “AHHH FUCK! FUUUUUCK!” which is super appropriate for the situation. The detail in these is insane.
VITTU saatana perkele!!! VITTU jumalauta kiinnostaa ku kilo paskaa! Saatana!
Oh and i am an finn
Not just that. It's the sound clip from the 'Kahen kilon siika' meme video.
You need to see a picture of this man. It was photographed before his drug trip but he definitely looks like the kind of maniac to go on a drug fueled skiing frenzy.
"That's not hair gel. He just moves that fast now."
I think I saw that pic with a comment "Those are the eyes of a man who saw God and laughed"
@@gwiazdapioun2127 "who saw God, spit in his face and skied away as quickly as possible."
Fun fact he was given the sqauds supply as he hated the stuff, and refused to use it. He only used it because he needed to help his sqaud. He accidentally took the whole pack in the dark.
@@davidiceberg2744A god Stalin? Piss Off!
Jesus Christ this guy should NOT have survived...
SOMEHOW, he lived to 71 years old
The Finnish truly are something else aren't they? Tough as nails!!!
Don't Blaspheme
@@J-fu7fm the Finnish are an amazing people and an amazing nation with an amazing history. Period. And I will fight anyone on this.
Anyways I send well wishes and peace to you.
@@LakeNatronHotSprings He wasn't talking to you. He was referring to Clarke using Jesus' name in vain. Some people are kinda touchy about that.
Joke gets better when you realise that he lived 71 years and had a nine children. His libido must have been like from here to alfa centaurii after that overdose.
The landmine effect was crazy
My grandfather was a radio carrying remote reconnaissance commando during the winter and especially during the continuation war. He was issued a Suomi SMG, as many drums as he could carry, food rations for a week or whatever, in addition to the 25kgs of radio and batteries he was carrying. And meth. A lot of meth. As he was going deep into enemy territory and to their rear. Alone. Usually using a bicycle or a motorcycle but sometimes on foot or on skis.
No other support, other than a Fokker biplane recon aircraft, which could give some fire support from the rear gunner, which was also the radio officer of the plane, the plane transferred the info he morse coded out, out several hundred kilometers away, usually up to around a thousand klicks all the way to Helsinki itself and the central military command, on where russians were moving their larger elements and of course to the nearest artillery battery fire control. Meaning my grandfather was most likely, with others like him, personally responsible for thousands of losses on russian side at a time. Because thanks to him, both artillery and the war command was made aware of russian movements, practically in real time. His and others like him most likely have a KD ratio of around 10 000 / 0. :D Oh, neat thing here is my grandfather on the ground was the commanding officer of that biplane, not the other way around. Which gave this operation unique independence and ability to avoid the enemy and stay undetected for elongated periods of time due to the plane operating upon his orders and not some dimwit theoretician from afar, with no idea what the fuck was going on in the field. And also, ability to strike with precision.
Motherfucker must have been running on meth, especially after the russians heard his transmissions and he knew he had to get the fuck outta dodge fucking fast. And often returned with empty drums from these trips. He had a signature burn from the Suomi SMG barrel shroud, running across his left hand. Meaning he was firing holding the thing sideways, to assure no ejection issues, and from the barrel and emptying drum after drum into incoming russians, until the barrel literally burned through his mittens and scorched his skin. Fortunately the Suomi has a quick release for swapping the barrel. LOL
He died of lead poisoning at age 89 after an artillery shell shard they were unable to remove at the time, started to de-encapsulate and melt into his bloodstream. :D As they were unable to capture or kill him using simple foot or motorized patrols looking for him, they resorted to just mass artillery bombardment in the general direction they thought his transmissions were coming from.
Another finn, outrunning the russians. And artillery bombardments, mostly succesfully. With meth.
Holy shit. Thats capital B BASED.
Mahtava tarina!
Holy smokes. That must be A LOT of pervitin and even more balls.
He commands a plane that provides air support to him? Sounds like helldivers to me
I BEEN WAITING FOR FINLAND TO GET ITS OWN VIDEO AND WHAT BETTER THAN AIMO KOIVUNEN THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND
Dude, you missed the perfect pun: The man, the meth, the legend
@@salvete-bellum-aeturnumblabla, i can tell u about drugabuse In russian and u. S military...
POV: you missed a shot and hit a beehive instead
Man said "Nah, I'd ski"
Its still ridiculous to me how a Finnish guy tweaking on drugs just kinda becomes an unkillabel menace
Hey Ho lets Go! Blitzkrieg ringin A Bell?
Tbh that’s just finns in general
"Officer, I swear the meth is for reenactment purposes only."
Dude you really outdid yourself here. Love this
Glad you like it!
“The humans are getting weirder than usual “- the reindeer watching it unfold
This might be the earliest sighting of the "gas station zaza"
I used to be homeless and I can attest that meth will either keep you warm, numb you to the cold, or just keep you moving enough that your sweat won't even be able to freeze.
Sorry to hear that man I hope you're in a better place now
I hope you're doing alright now, dude.
In Perkele we trust.
FINLANDIA, one of my favorite country, thank you for this CHEF D'OEUVRE
1:38 he found comrades, just not his
I heard that audio of the Finnish cops trying to stop that drunk guy on a bike you ain't sneaky
Haha you got it 😅
Fallout "You have become addicted..." notifications was such a nice touch.
Also, all the stories I hear about Finns fighting Soviets sound like pure fucking fictions, but are in fact true. I love it.
Now this is epic, my boss chewed me out today for “not doing enough.” I’ll show her. Been blitzing the back rooms with this on repeat. Thank you history feels!
Auditory Pervitin...
lol just smoke meth
Relevant story time: So this one time, my Nat’l Guard unit was doing a 12-mile ruck march, as one does. One of my squadmates decided to convince the idiot 18-year-old that was me to pack not one but four Zyns in addition to the two Bangs I had just chugged. I don’t think I stopped sprinting until mile 5.
A fuckin’ Bang!? Where the hell was your Rip-Its!?
@@____________838 Not found at a a local 7/11 at 4:30 AM
@@____________838 They don’t stock Rip-Its at Oregon 7/11’s.
@@____________838 Oregon 7/11’s don’t stock them.
@@jamesharding3459 that’s why you get them at the PX, bro, not to mention tax-free
Now this is what i want to fall asleep to.
ten dislikes are soviets who had to deal with allan and are still salty about it
Waltzing Matilda but your mineshaft is collapsing on the Ballarat goldfields
I reckon the eureka stockade has more potential
@@mathewferstl7042 eureka stockade def has more potential, or Long Tan w/ audio interspersed from Danger Close: The Battle of Long Tan (great movie btw)
Officer: Remember! Take only one pill! I repeat it: ONLY ONE!
*Takes out huge clump of pills*
Finnish soldier: Well, technically it's one pill...
This is going in the Säkkijärven Polkka playlist, love the editing once more.
Awesome, thank you!
"The bewildered Russians just stared in disbelief." 🤣
Aimo, high as God's b*lls, zooming past the camp: "Yli peltojen, vetten ja tunturien, aina Hangosta Petsamoon!"
Russian soldiers, when Aimo's voice is already fading into the forest: "Huh... that happened."
“Comrade, pass the vodka. I have no idea what the blyat I just saw but I’m not going to be sober when I tell the commissar.”
The man went from 0 to PERKELE in 3.5 seconds.
"pERKELE! SIIHEN ET KOSKE!" is Perkele, you won't touch that or you can't touch that. :D
Florida man can take on ten normal americans, and Australian man can take on five florida men, but this Finnish man could solo all of them
By far one of your best videos yet btw
Holy trinity of Floridian man, Finnish man, and Australian man.
"Drugs aren't useful!"
This dude:
The Aimo Koivunen Experience™
The revive sounds from battlefield were an awesome touch
Some say pep powder, some say meth
Take too much, it's a painful death
Just enough, you'll fight for a week without rest
Sakkijarven polka!
Yes i remember the Drugtinuation War, the red frog people screaming BLYAT, some strange mushrooms mines puts by a strange Ratman with PTSD, and the fearless man-pig-bear, thank god i have my skies.
Between Simo and Aimo, the Soviets had no shortage of nightmares.
Now imagine if he had a vehicle.
Dude would only stop inside Stalin's office.
Inside Stallinn (the city). (just a dumb joke about your typo)
@@acb1511 better be an office without a RI in it.
Nah only in Vladivostok would he stop
I can safely say that this is one of the best videos you've ever created.
Thanks bro 🙏
1:22, and of course there is a girls une panzer reference XD
The meds were so strong he even met a 2nd gen Pokémon 50 years before Pokémon came out
Now this is quality content, perkele!
You ever wonder how funny and fucked up it is to be famous for the basically being on the hardest drug-trip in known history.
This gives a whole new meaning to crystal meth
Also, an amusing thing to note. This is a version of Säkkijärven Polkka with lyrics.
The lyrics were written for the song after the war. Meaning, you are on so much Pervitin in this situation that your mind traveled to the future to get a soundtrack for the trip.
Good god, now imagine Simo Häyhä on Pervitin
Oh god, he'd be 360 noscoping the whole fuckin place. But imagine Simo Häyhä AND Aimo Koivunen together while both high on Pervitin??
@@grapezseedz7644 that would be that end of the world
@@grapezseedz7644 Meth induced Finnish skiing and sniping? They'd be winning the Olympic biathlon all the way into the 70s.
@@theduckapple The Soviets would stand no chance against these two lmaoo
@@grapezseedz7644 those two would conquer all of Russia by themselves.
Oh, I feel like this is going to be a wild one...
Every time I hear this story, Koivunen's skiing distance is about 20 miles longer than last time.
I love how the entirety of humanity just sees Aimo as an absolute fucking LEGEND for not dying immediately and being so high he literally outran an army twice.
This mans Eyes have seen the gods and was granted a blessing for the trip.
Man, the Finnish are something else. Kudos from Poland!
“The lion is the deadliest mammal”
My honest reaction.
Went from breaking bad to Breaking BT tanks
"It's time to go sicko mode!"
When you eat a whole can of coffee grounds and start ski
funniest thing you've ever uploaded
The Finns love rallying so much they did it 6-7 years before cars were introduced in Finish rally using skis
This editing is slick, love the new voice over.
When people say “you’re not him” they’re talkin about this guy.
when his story was published, the local radio channel listed it only as the second most intriguing story of world war 2.
this finnish tier list must have been something else...
... U know... U they dunno jacks shit bout ww2... What Finns did.... U dont have To be an wise guy understand that...
"I was put on this Earth to do two things. Out-ski the Russians and steal catalytic converters."
"and those wouldnt be invented for another 35 years"
POV: How I feel in a Monday
This man deserves his own sabaton song
I don't know whether I should be proud to be related to this guy, or embarassed...
Proud. His tale is a memorable one for sure.😂
My new favorite video of yours ahahahahaha
sick soundtrack, perkele, this is exactly how the veterans describe the war sounded like. Allan had his smg confiscated by his squad leader before he vanished into the wilderness. He started to hallucinate and they thought he was dangerous.
Not eating for days no prob, getting shot at no prob, skying 400km in the middle of winter no prob, getting blown up by a mine no prob bro was the terminator for a whole week💀
Drugs are crazy man.
Oh shit this is going to be good
But that is to be expected always with every upload
Urge to consume entire raw pine jay INTENSIFIES
"Dont worry, i have idea" Takes all the meth, refuses to explain, leaves.
This man was so powerful, while fighting a wolverine with his bare hands, he hit that fucker so hard it turned into a fucking tree.
That is a hilarious way to look at that part of his story. He willed catalytic converters into existence just so he could steal them.😂
As a Finn, there's just something hilarious about the combo of some absolutely super-mad Finnish guy shouting PERKELE and then you here some Russian person go "...Blyat".
Weakest Finnish soldier
legendary winter war reference
Coming in and out of reality had to been fun. Probably a constant what the fuck is going on
His resting heartbeat was 200 bpm
Like 3 days after he took the meth
@@HF7-ADits was like a week after the dose
37yo i could still get 229bpm.. Heart..
Without drugs...
@@Janne-o6q yeah but he was like 20 and it was a few weeks after the doze and it was steady
Finns getting more trippy then Vietnam war soldiers
When the forest and the snow starts speaking Finnish
The man was leaving a trail of steam behind his skis I swear to god
this one was something different but none the less entertaining good job!
He became the monster in the woods
If the word "perkele" was a man