American's Are Breaking Up With Their Work Friends (Here's Why)
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- Опубліковано 25 лют 2023
- American's Are Breaking Up With Their Work Friends (Here's Why)
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I would tell any young person going into the work world that the boss is not your friend. Your co workers are not your friends. If you die at work your job will be posted before your obituary. Stay 100% out of debt and have an exit strategy. Avoid drama and romantic relationships in the workplace and assume that no matter how well you are treated it can south in a second.
Best advice!!! Highly agree.
I work at a highly prestigious healthcare institution. I fear no patient so long as I’ve treated them with dignity and respect; I fear no manager so long as I show solid work ethic; BUT I have come to fear coworkers for reasons of retaliation, racism, jealousy, pay differences, lifestyle, age & ability, HIPPA and other laws, opportunity etc.
Bullying nurses has always existed I went through it as a rookie nurse now when I train nurses I remember how they may be feel and I do everything opposite that I went through . I am friends with everyone but never been in a clique put it this way never been invited to a Christmas party . Do I care at the beginning I did now I don’t I always try be the better one help those who I perceive r feeling that well it’s so unfortunate that the stress we go through as being a registered nurse we have to add stress of colleagues ridiculous. I feel some times like that old movie with Lindsay Lohan mean girls lol 🤦♀️. We can’t change people I learn to just shower them with love for example bless those that curse u and that has been a game changer in my career
I feel ya 💯 I wanted to quit the healthcare after I got my REGISTERED NURSE LICENSEE IN THE BEGINNING. But I stayed strong 💪
Run from those that gossip
Lmao racism.... SMFH
Well said 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 ...I have seen a lot of careers ruined due to co-workers!
Unfortunately, when you work with a bunch of two-faced, backstabbing women whose favorite pastime is gossiping and tearing people down and ostracizing them, the best I've been able to do is keep to myself, focus on providing the best service to my clients, and document the crap out of everything I do.
True. @ken is in a dream work/job. His situation isn’t the reality in backbiting cultures
Nursing?
Document document document....yes it's a must
I was about to ask the same question.
Nursing is so toxic.
Is it that management creates and fosters that type of environment or is it something else?
I just went through a situation that really made me validate that work relationships are BS. I prefer to go in whether in office or remote, do my job and not feel forced to "hang out" with people I do not have any connections with. I have learned that you can do a million things right but the moment they get a chance to stab you in the back... 9 times out of 10,they will.
Exactly. You can't trust anyone at work. You put yourself out there and it makes anything you say into something they can use against you.
Ken, the word you're looking for is 'camaraderie' in the workplace. Those days are gone. Office culture is a very different beast now. My company in silicon valley has been taken over by DEI pushers, ERGs, and divisive woke propaganda. My co-workers are nice people, but it's not safe to talk to anyone and open up anymore like the good ole days. Everyone walks on eggshells because everything is offensive now. I'm a few years away from early retirement so I keep my head down and get my work done. I no longer take on extra work and do very little overtime. You call it quiet quitting, I call it setting boundaries.
Management sets the tone for the atmosphere with employees. I wouldn't go to company picnics for the simple reason that everyone would just sit around and talk about work.
Pit employees against each other
Remote work is the way to go. Been doing it since Covid and have been at least twice as productive without office distractions AND get to save time on work commute to spend more time with family.
Living the dream 🙌🏻
yeah the problem is that most of the people I come across at these companies are some of the most backstabbing, snake type individuals I have ever met. Some would report anything I would say to our boss, others would talk about me behind my back to other colleagues, and of the few people that I could actually consider a friend at work, none stood up to defend me through any of it. So to act as though its that unusual for people to keep their guard up while working is unrealistic.
I agree everytime i tried to make friends it’s like this and its insane. Eventually i found that outside your firm it’s easier to make friends.
Sounds exactly like my job. When I first got there the director..assistant director and supervisor put me through the ringer BUT everything they tried to write me up for was thrown out. It was a horrible experience for the simple fact that I didn't know them and they didn't know me. I had just gotten there. My colleagues are the same way..act as if they're your friends to take back whatever you say. I do my eight then skate.
If your “peers” at work are all not worthy of your friendship then maybe you should consider elevating your career?
@EDHCB i am in an "elevated" position but either way, anywhere you go there are people like that.
@@bluewavesdave If it’s like that everywhere that you go then consider maybe, just maybe, that it’s you that is the problem? 🤷🏻♂️
There are ZERO friends at work. Had many incidents. Keep to yourself, keep it friendly yet professional. Share nothing personal or never share a success with anyone. They just use it against you with management. Puts a target on your back.
I've had bad experiences with friendships at work. They have caused me to be more prone to being distracted, and talking too much when I should be working. I worked for one company that stopped paying me (because they ran out of money) and when I finally quit I felt that I was betraying my work friends who remained. I made friends with a manager once and showed him some of my fun personal projects which he later used as a reason to fire me...he said I was more interested in personal projects than my work (which I wasn't). I have no problem being friendly with co-workers, but making friends....I'm not sure that's the best idea.
Your coworkers are NOT your friends. Jenny will stab you in the back for that promotion Jessica! Lol.
"Work best friend" is the saddest thing I've heard this week. Yeah we are relationally beings but at work were are supposed to be relating to the people, places and things that are the source of our income. Sure having a friend there is great but it shouldn't be the driving force of why you are doing what you're doing.
Work best friends are only seasonal. Once you or that other person leaves, contact goes dead. If you do try to reach out, it becomes weird.
"Really good friends"involves a level of vulnerability and honesty that could ruin your professional life.
Exactly. Maybe you can have work acquaintances, but friends? Sounds naive to encourage others to expose so much of themselves personally in toxic, relentless work environments.
Over the years I found co-workers friendships are the ones that ask nothing from you....they don't ask you to help them do their job, they don't ask to borrow money, happy for for each other when good things happen....and never ask you to risk your job!! Bu the ones that gossip, talk badly about other employees, tells the supervisor half truths when they get jealous that another employee got recognition.....and run folks down because they have a good off job life!!! Those are the ones that have money problems get jealous of another employees life out of work....their travels, their vehicle, their house.......
I've had tqo colleagues borrow money from me. I had to run one down to get paid back. Thinking about it now I don't think I would do that again.
I have nothing in common with my coworkers and, while I am civil towards them, I have no interest in being best friends with them. I had a huge falling out with a close coworker back at the start of covid and she turned out to be a terrible person. I have friends all over the world. I don't need work friends. It's not show friends, it's show business.
You’re in show business?
People are absolutely snakes. Never make friends at work. Between friendship or a promotion, they'll throw you under the bus so quick to get that promotion.
I once worked at a large company where two of my coworkers (both females) were really close "friends". We would see them together all the time (inseparable). They would go to lunch together, leave together every day when done with work, etc. Suddenly one of them got promoted to a manager position & became the other's boss. Shortly after, the Ms. Bossy one fired the other. Very cruel. Lesson: Never get too comfortable/too close with a coworker & it's always best to separate personal from professional life.
Can you do a post on toxic people at work? I have a coworker who is not fond of me so they dismiss me but acts professional and is polite around our team.
Work is not the same as it once was decades ago. There used to be a time when you worked at a company for decades and retired there and maybe even got a pension. I’ve been laid off multiple times while trying to build those right relationships and be a brand ambassador. Time has taught me it is not worth it and people are selfish. It is a job…do what you gotta do and get paid. Be nice to co-workers but don’t trust them. It’s sad to say but it is the world we live in now.
I always felt it was kinda odd to go to a office meal with staff and your boss one day and the next day you get in trouble. It was always BS. They aren't your friends. You can be friendly to them which is encouraged, but they are not your friends. Is Ken sick? He seems a little less vivacious than usual.
I’m assuming he’s talking about a healthy productive workplace where things are managed well, only if you’re lucky. Then it would make sense regarding the value of cultivating meaningful connections at work. However, my greatest success has been doing work that involves as few people as possible at the start and completion of all work tasks. I’ve learned the value of keeping my trap shut and not trusting people at work as I have learned the hard way, as a younger person, that these are not my buddies… Contrary to what Ken suggests, I don’t think it’s too far-fetched to want boundaries between one’s work life and private social life. I just don’t believe in mixing the two. When it comes to my livelihood, I keep a lid on it for sure….
What a blessing that Ken never worked in a toxic workplace. Yes, I made great friends at work that continue on after I left the company. But some of the unprofessional bosses and co-worker I met at some of my jobs were keep at a arms distances. My mom said it best, " You can work with the Devil, you just don't have to invite him home to dinner." Always professional, loyal and did my best. But I only work 8 to 5, and went home to my family.
When I got married. I didn't invite my coworkers. I know they would criticize my wedding. Specifically, one coworker.
Ken, you are wrong about jobs not expecting you to answer email or texts while at home or on weekends. That’s a real thing. I also had a Bo’s that wanted to schedule 7:30am meetings because it was convenient to him because he liked to get to work at 6 to be out by 4:00
What's a Bo's?
@@JohnBrown-ig5nc boss. it wouldnt let me edit
@@joesmiley5726 gotcha
Do what we do: Your time is your time. Don't acknowledge communications from work based on "expectations".
My account is my friend. Working from home I’ve realized saved money from spending on gas, Whole Foods, Starbucks and work clothes. Plus I’m getting better sleep and eating healthier.
Hybrid and remote working is the best thing ever to happen to many of us. We know why, but these topics are those that this country is still not ready to acknowledge our history, let alone admit... we have a problem.
I never understood why coworkers would hang out outside of work. I never understood why they were anything more than just friends at work. And I especially will never for the life of me understand why workplace romances start. You are asking for trouble. For every 1 success story there are easily 100 horror stories.
I've been working for 18 years now. The only thing I've learned is you can't trust anyone. Anyone. They will betray you in an instance or they are fake from day 1.
I love remote work. I professionally interact and that's it. I don't let anyone into my life anymore.
I loved working in an office, with best of friends, during the 90's. Then, going back to an office in 2007 was a disaster with the way younger generations interact. Imagine today? Haaaaa....no thanks.
This generation has missed the very best of times. My heart hurts for each one of you! I left the work force 28 years ago to be a stay at home mom for my new baby. The team I worked with was strong, funny, encouraging, building up and we had great work progress together because of that. We had each others backs! We weren’t trying to get ahead by stepping on someone’s neck. After all these years, we still gather to eat dinners together, celebrate the holidays and the acknowledge the gift of one another. Love seems to be gone now, but it only takes one person to reach out and make a spark and turn it all around.
Yes! Had a wonderful time during my working years (80's-late 90's) in the office. We had our little clashes every now and then, but in the end, I made nearly all of my friends during that time at work. Can't imagine where the kids are meeting friends today if not at work..."online" dosen't count. Sad state of affairs today.
Way off base here. There's a difference between being friendly with co-workers and being friends with them. You can be friendly, helpful, and collaborative on a range of projects and work-related goals - and still insist on maintaining strictly professional boundaries.
The things that my co-workers know about me:
1. I am married (ring).
2. I have dogs.
3. I like to cook.
That's it. In today's environment of sexual harassment claims, hyper-sensitivity, and die-hard partisanship, the risks associated with any conversation not strictly related to work are simply not worth the potential "rewards."
The chickens of cultural insanity that has been bred in all aspects of our society, voted in, and worshipped incessantly for the last 15 years have come home to roost.
Why would you have a close friend at work. People you communicate with, yes but a buddy, no. You go to work to get a job done.
I have two best friends at work and I still quit. If I never see them again they weren’t really my friends.
I’m a SAHM now, but when I was working as a CNA at a hospital, when I was a work my co workers and I were great friends, at 3pm I was out bye we didn’t talk. Except for one lady. And it was great! No problems. 😊
I work at a gun manufacturer. It sucks sometimes but the people are real friends. It all comes down to leaders.
Coworkers are NOT your friends. They are competitors. Coworkers are jealous acquaintances at best.
All humans are your competitors, friendship is for the weak
What does this mean to people who truly dislike connection with other people? My best days are spent engaging in a wide variety of solo activities. I do not like compromising what I decide to do, because the other person might want to proceed differently.
Why do you hate connection with others?
@@Big_talks. It is rare to have a non work relationship that provides mutual benefit, with no responsibility or compromise for either party. I enjoy being able to do as I choose in my free time without having to consider the feelings or wants of others. I have a handful of people, outside of family, that I will spend some time with, but that occurs 2 or 3 times per year.
You can still develop significant cohesion remotely, calls and off work meetings after rhrs as well, etc.
I notice at my office the remote workers have the BIGGEST sense of entitlement and they complain about everything.
Coworkers are not friends they are your career rivals. This doesn't mean you need to be a jerk to coworkers and to not be friendly. It's the reminder that you are at work to provide for your family, and becoming too friendly with the wrong coworker can interfere with that primary objective of providing for your family
I have work acquaintances. There’s people I like but I have no time to hang out with anyone other than my family.
I have a bf at work, but I know that relationship will end once I or they leave. It's all fake. Why not pay people more? gosh, I swear these companies will think of anything else besides increasing your salary.
The pandemic destroyed workplace friendships.
Never gossip or repeat gossip
My manager and I are best friends she even watches my kid and we travel together! We are bff for 5 years now know and love her like a sister
When her mom passed away my mom adopted her and she sends my mom flowers for every occasion
They are not!
I’ve called indifferent at work.
I wonder if they see me as antisocial.
I don’t want to be part of a clique or be among those that gossip too much at work.
I don’t like it and it’s awful to be around people like that.
Are you sure it’s not that the last three years have divided people in general? It’s broken families apart, let alone coworkers.
Women have dealt with catty coworkers and bosses most of our lives. I would rather work with and for men for this reason.
As long as its not political.
They aren't friends. They're coworkers.
That's right. You choose your friends. Your co-workers are there by default
3:13 gee thanks for the reminder
I’m fortunate enough to only have one other person in my company working in the same city as me. We are not friends. I’m almost 40 and honestly, I don’t want friends.
Hard to say. I’ve made a good chunk of friends from prior jobs that remain friends years later. But it’s a challenge because there are a lot of people who aren’t truly your friend. But my best friend in general I met at a prior job but we didn’t actually get close until after I’d gone to a new job. But I’ve noticed how slippery some can be about stuff but it’s really not a big concern unless you’re talking badly about other coworkers. If you talk about casual stuff and don’t get nasty about others you really have little to be worried about but if you gossip you can be sure it’ll spread and be a bad thing for you. People have to learn that if someone is happy to speak bad about somebody to you then why would you not think they’ll talk to somebody else poorly about you when you’re not around? Keep out of that toxic stuff and you can have work friends easily. As for going out for a beer that’s hit or miss but im telling about life not work if that occurs. And it’s a beer or two jot your entire night.
Sounds like you're coming down with something...
The difference between real friends and coworkers is money. The larger the budgets the larger the concerns.
Keep your head down.
Not having the ability to have good relationships with people you work with make it easier for people to leave their job for small reasons. The amount of times I have had people not leave a job for lets say an extra $2-$3/hr is because they enjoy the people they work with is insane. All my friends who have remote jobs jump from place to place every 9 months to a year. Very different world we live in, and I don’t think its for the better
I think this applies to coworkers, but for leaders it can often be a lonely place to be. Can anyone relate to this? It definitely rings true for me...
Never work with friends and family.
Honestly, I agree with anyone who’s typing about their work culture in the comment section. I don’t have a problem doing the work. My problem is the person who you working with or who you working under. You have to build a meaningful work relationship with your coworkers and bosses to get things done. I’m going to say this once again. A friend on a job is not a friend in your personal life. If some of you have work friends, make sure they have some moral intentions. Also, watch out for the con artists and the backstabbers because they’re TRAINED to abuse a healthy work relationship and create a toxic workplace.
Workplace is not a place to make friends. Not everybody likes their work nor they are pationate about it. The purpose of working is to earn money so that you can do things that you like. An individual's goal should be to save enough money so that you don't need to do what you don't want to do.
So 15% without a “best work friend” report being happy compared to the original 23%. That’s called statistically insignificant. The actual summary is your happiness at work DOESNT matter if you have best work friend or not
Oh please for the love of God, hire an intern who's aware of the difference between an apostrophe in a possessive pronoun (the American's car, i.e. the car belonging to the American) and Americans, i.e. plural. I'm saying this with love for this show, with English being my 5th language. Please.
I have learned that “friends” at work is no longer necessary or wanted from me. Nor is it a good idea to pursue anyone romantically that goes to your job- none of it is good for the emotional and mental health. Work friends only see you at work and aren’t interested in you OUTSIDE of work, for ya know, a REAL friendship. Then, if you pursue romantically Someone, you have to see them show up at your job knowing that they rejected you. Work is strictly work for me now, fuck everybody else
Well Ken I would say the majority of the folks in the comment section disagree with your position. You're not accepting reality! People at work are backstabbers and love to throw you under the bus to get ahead. I say be cordial but don't get to personal!
"hasn't sent a text or email at night or on weekend" You wouldn't last in corporate america, next on the chopping block
This is a very romanticized version of work associates
Co workers are not friends of any sort. Just colleagues and associates.
My career is destroyed
I quit that crap job
Co workers are not you friends but they are not your enemies either, it just people who wanna make living and be professional with them.
Was the woman Dave fired for getting pregnant out of wedlock one of your work friends?
✝️🙏
5:16 please don't talk about your experience at Ramsey's solutions as if it is comparable to regular jobs
False narrative? Nah. It's obvious you haven't been out for beers after work with anyone.
Every group has a couple folks who can't quit talking shop.
We work 12 hour days, then banter amongst ourselves for an hour afterwards, unless we need to go of course.
Living to work.
I miss the good ole days when you could use your position of power to get laid, sleep with your coworkers and kick it with your coworkers after.🤣 Now everything is toxic!
If coworkers aren't your friends you're working the wrong job
Lol. If your friends are your coworkers you’re probably not working.. just hanging out 😂
This guy is so out of touch with reality. Go get a real job, bud and talk about job expectations
Can you define a “real job”? Asking for a friend
@@dr.bradshaw Let's start with it requires an actual skill other than starting a you tube channel
@@loujon191 ok good start, although being an on air personality, writing books, guiding people with their career paths I believe all would be considered skills.
Ok, cool what’s next?
@@dr.bradshaw There are millions of You Tube personalities doing the same thing. It's called luck.
@@loujon191 tell me you’re jealous without actually telling me you’re jealous 😂
What a stupid segment. nobody at Ramsey Solutions is your friend Ken!