9 SOFT POWER Ways to Get a Man to PROPOSE: Unpacking The Sunken Cost Fallacy!
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- Опубліковано 23 жов 2023
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#marry #sunkencostfallacy #cautionarytales
I love the way Chloe dragged exception to the rule ppl. It drives me insane how there’s always that person or few ppl that HAVE to comment “well actually my moms friends uncles cousin met a broke man at 15, waited 25 years for marriage and 35 for provision and now she’s a being provided for fully.”
😂
😂😂😂
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Nelly is not str8 for those who still haven’t picked up on that 😣
@@xyz-mc5of this is an interesting stance. 🤔
I watched your videos for a couple of years now as a single woman, since like 35. I am 38 now and married. I actually met my husband at 37.. Thank you Chloe 🤗
Congratulations 🎉❤ wishing you lots of happiness. I’m glad I found Chloe_ too 😊
🥰🥰🥰
Thank you, you give me hope I’m about to be 32, just joined the Air Force, and just left a man I been with since I was 19. I didn’t know any better but now I do. I’m scared but I’m not making the same mistakes again
Congrats!
You give me hope. I'll be 36 in a few weeks and I do hope I will meet someone soon. The dating pool is just 🤢 these days. Wishing you blessings in your marriage!
Nelly is a serial time waster. He dated Ashanti and Shantel for years with no ring.
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Agreed! There's accountability on both Shantel & Ashanti for allowing their time to be wasted. They both stayed in a relationship with Nelly, settling for less than what they truly wanted, I believe.
Ms. Jackson left his ass 😂
My husband proposed after three months. He once told me that men know very early on if a woman is marriageable. If a man doesn’t at the very least propose within a year, he is waiting for something better to come along. It doesn’t take 3,4,5+ years to figure out if you want to marry someone. If a man is serious about you, he will propose sooner rather than later because he doesn’t want to risk the chance that someone else scoops you up.
Facts
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So if you are dating a man and it’s been a year and he didn’t propose or marry you . He doesn’t really want to be marry you.??
Are you saying he just is waiting for something better to come along?
@@prettyloubey8411 If you check his boxes off, most definitely. He wouldn't want anyone else to be with you.
@@prettyloubey8411 Yes. A man will take a woman off the market fairly quickly if he believes she is a quality marriage material woman. If he doesn’t, there is a reason. Either way, he is wasting her time.
He will NOT marry her. She's wasting the good years that she has left on him. The only time men like Nelly will propose to any woman is when he's too old himself and he wants a wife to be his CARETAKER. Run Ashanti!
EXACTLY 💯
He can afford to, she can't
I thought I was the only one who thought Ashanti shouldn’t get back with Nelly. 🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
His a bum
Nope 🙅🏾♀️ 😅
No ma'am you're not 🙄
No Sis...I feel the same way!
You’re not alone. I don’t like it one bit but I wish her well because I love her.
He got her back and gave her a watch for her birthday 🤔. You mean to tell me he needs more time to figure out if she is the one? 10 years wasn't enough time? She is playing herself, smh...
That fact that she even posted that smh that’s the day she should have left for good
@tripleb1960 Why spin the block with him then? She printed his face on her purse... what is she doinnnnng???? Beyonce didn't fully acknowledge her relationship to JayZ until he put a ring on it. If 10 years wasn't enough to convince him, then what's another year or two gonna do? He dated another woman for 7 years after her and didn't marry her either. Some women think they're the exception instead of looking at the mans character. Can't really blame him cause why buy the cow when you can get the milk for freeee 🤷♀️
Exactly behaviour & pattern ❤
😂
@@geegeesofly2000who else is she gonna go to?
In my opinion, Ashanti can do so much better than Nelly. Hopefully he won’t waste her time again.
… again.
I hope not
It would be her fault
She's already wasted too much time, sorry not sorry but she's getting up there in age
@@misslove7698getting up in age for what?
If you want marriage and children, stop talking (much less dating, I mean talking at all) to men who 1) don’t want to be husbands and have showed that through their actions and 2) does not have his husband-situation together when you meet.
Men who are marriage oriented start to prepare themselves and their lives for having a wife and children. His actions will tell you what he’s prepared for.
After that, give him six months while also rotational dating for marriage. Vet and move along.
Facts!!
Amen Sis!!! You couldn't said it any better!!!
"My Aunt had a baby at 56, 74, 92" 🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂
I hollered 😂
Say it louder, Chloe, for the ladies in the back, who claim a man need five plus years before proposing. If he do, clearly, you're not the one for him. As for Ashanti, i think she really loves Nelly. She feel hes her one, however, I dont think he feel the same. Like you Chloe, I hope he prove me wrong.
Exactly sis it don't take no man no damn five years to recognize you the one!!! Hell I would even say it don't take him 2 years and man knows within at least 6 months. Yall ladies keep let these men run game on yall. Smh
*Everyday a man doesn't marry you, translates to me that he's ok with someone being able to come in and take you off his hands. At the end of the day, marriage is protection, if something happens to him, can he still provide for you?*
Him giving her a diamond watch instead of a RING, in addition to that generic @$$ bday post to her....says all I need to know. And I hate this for her. I wanna see my girl win.
Yep...
This. It was dry AF. To boast of being prolific w words as a rapper. He gave nothing. And she will ultimately receive nothing.
I think she’s too busy being the nice girl. Which is great but not in this situation. I don’t think she has put her demands out although I’m sure he knew then and now what she wants.
She has to want to see her self win.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. I don't feel sorry for her.
I tried Chloe...I watched your videos, I leveled up, I did the work...men let me know that they're attracted to me, they consider me for marriage, etc...But now I love myself so much that I enjoy being alone and I don't feel like anyone is worthy, LOL
Yes Hun!! This is my last month dealing with anyone that's not on the same paths as me. I want my better half one day but until then I enjoy being happy by myself and becoming a better woman ❤😊
@@hersheylipz6355 I totally get it LOL
It's OK. You can always be alone!
@@garygreen7104 NGL I love it...I've noticed that I earn more money when I'm not dating/courting and I get to keep my personal schedule w/o having to pencil someone in...this is not what I intended for myself but if I never attract a worthy guy I honestly am not going to lose sleep over it
thats where i am ... I love it here
“You can argue with your gas station wig” 🥴🤣 love this channel ❤
yes this took me out! lmao
The shade be funny af 😂😂😂
That was a gem 😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I agree with you on Ashanti. She set herself back by spinning the block on Nelly. He doesn’t want what she wants. He just wanted to prove that he could pull a baddie without giving her marriage, kids, etc. Otherwise he would have done it with the ones he had before. He just wants to use up her time so she can’t be happy with someone else.
What does Ashanti want right now at age 43? I think we may all be surprised what her goals are for dating and relationships right now.
But I do agree, she should have never spun the block on that dusty.
It’s also just also very bad optics. Going back to an ex after all these years kinda looks like you couldn’t find anything better, so started looking in the rear view mirror. This can happen, but I think we were all hoping Ashanti had some secret man that she was just hiding from the world. But this confirmed in Nelly’s mind that she can be put on a shelf & picked up whenever he likes.
Nelly is the last person that she should even thinks of being with or marrying after what her did to her
She’s getting old, surrounded by bad quality men and doesn’t believe she will meet a good quality man so it’s easier to go back to the ex
And he has sexual abuse allegations …. MULTIPLE
What he do to her?
What did he do?
You got someone for her that can pay her gold digging bills
YOU ARE RIGHT. "MEN ARE COMPETITIVE FOR QUALITY WOMEN" WE HAVE NO TIME TO WASTE!..TO LOSE YOU TO OUR INDECISIVENESS!
My personal opinion, if marriage isn’t on the table after 2 years ( and that’s being generous) then it’s time to move on. I’ve heard from several married men that it doesn’t take decades to figure it out.
Actually, I'd say 6 months TOPS.
Within a year! Within a year!!
Don’t ever give them 2 years.
I say 2 years if the woman is under 25 and 1 year if they are older.
Ashanti is beautiful & classy. I wish she would’ve just found her a nice banker or businessman instead of reheating leftovers smh. Giving good game as always m’am! Even though I’m not interested in kids and don’t have a biological clock, I’m definitely the queen of keep up or get left. Your time is the most valuable thing you have besides your health and happiness. You can’t be readily accessible to a man who hasn’t provided any kind of security emotionally or otherwise. Ghost these men shamelessly if they aren’t stepping up or else you’ll be singing “Not Gon Cry” by Mary J. Blige being mad at the world. I’ve seen it many, many times with my elders. No thanks!
Girl, I am laughing so hard! Ghost these men shamelessly! Yes!
Same it breaks my heart to see her back peddling
I'm sorry, but that "Not gon cry" part was funny 😂. But, that's only cause it's true lmao.
Haha, reheating leftovers
“Reheating leftovers” is insane 😂
As 26 y/o woman, your wisdom is LIFE SHIFTING! Thank you so much for sharing your gems, time, & energy. You are appreciated!
❤️
Àshanti already wasted 10 years Already Why make that Mistake again?🙄
She had no choice. Nobody else wants her
Time is the most valuable thing we have. Do not allow anyone to waste yours. Nellie is not marriage material and will continue to waste Ashanti's time
Marriage has tons of benefits and privileges you can literally change the trajectory of you and your descendants lives. As a lesbian I use the lessons you post and apply it to my life. This has helped me stay away from demons and have a fun, safe serial dating experience.
Dating is for getting to know a person. Ashanti has known and dated this man over a decade and the only way she should have let him back into her life is with a ring and a wedding planner ! Nelly saw all that attention she was getting and wanted that old thang back to prove he can get her. Smh Big mistake on Ashanti not to use the only leverage she had to get advantage! Hope he proves us wrong ….
Never go back
The whole intro has me on the floor😂 "YOU ARE HEARD"🎉#Choleforpresident
I never had a relationship that went beyond 2 years. Once I feel the stalling I send an ultimatum.
same my max is a year 1 and 1/2. I will not give anyone MORE than that.
@@LindsayOris at this point i will have 100 men since none of them want the next level
😢I’m truly ashamed that I didn’t know to value my time more 👏🏾im so happy to know their are woman out here actually standing on they boundaries
@@dayloveeno need to be shamed , many of us did not know better. My father did not care about me and I grew up in abusive household with relatives. I have very low self worth.
@@dayloveeLove and Light to you. It is NEVER EVER too late to value yourself.❤❤❤. Celebrate beginning today.
I am a HUGE Ashanti fan and haven’t had a good feeling about this from jump. I still don’t think he will marry and it seems forced. I am going to hate to see this happen to my girl bc I can tell she really wants it.
I saw that watch….for her birthday 🤦🏽♀️ it told me what i needed to know
"familiar cozy pair of house slippers" sent me through the roof! girl how do you come up with these😂😂😂
not arguing with the "gas station wig"! This is why as an older woman, I love listening to your channel🤣🤣
I keep noticing their couples' pictures. I see Ashanti looking happy while Nelly seems to look distant and preoccupied. This may not mean anything, but it seems kind of telling.
Follow Your Instinct...... even though they are celebrity couple ....I've done that before with couple photos ....deep down inside wishing that I was misreading the facial expressions that I see on a particular individual ....only for the couple to break apart two or three months later ....and I said to myself.....what you were picking up on was right
I always keep in mind that the relationship is the goal not the person. Make commitment and how you want to be treated the goal and let whoever is not with that go and whoever is stay.
Beautifully stated! Thats the winning mindset right there 👏
Nelly is working the rumor mill to rebuild his brand and he knew that Ashanti would help with that. Once he gets back to the status he deems GOOD ENOUGH, he’s gonna be out! And Ashanti will have egg on her face, yet again 🤦🏾♀️
That’s an interesting perspective you’ve got a point
Wow, you know I think you’re reading the situation right!
Girl!!!!! Her Mama should have been like Hell No! Move on Ashanti! She could have anyone, any man, a Billionaire, Millionaire!!!! She has no self worth!!!
That’s what i said, or especially her father! Of course we wouldn’t know, but I feel like parents should really guide & protect their daughters, especially her mother to let her know better than to let a man waste more years….assuming she WANTS marriage & a family.
When we met i told my man back then im not going more than a year with any man won't be dragged around like a toy! And i didnt want sex before marriage also most guys ran after not even a month my husband was my longest date, told him he should know already if he want me as wife or no cause im ready for the big change , He surprised me by proposing on a trip he organised a year together. been married since and have a child all good! I really wish i knew when i was younger ladies let no man waste your time! Tell them you have a deadline if u have too! Mine was a year 😊
Ain't no way imma double back to NELLY. years later especially. 😂
This past week my friend from elementary school met Nelly at the airport while she was working & they had a “flirty” exchange.
What fr really?
👀
🙄 chilllle 🤣. These men ain’t worth nun
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Not surprised at all. He has married no one and closer to 50 than 30 smh
saw a girl be with a guy for 9 years and from my pov he never seemed in love he just knew she would never leave, she is Chinese and he is filipino and asked him to just learn a few words in her native language to better his relationship with her side of the family and he wouldn't do it, he only spoke mandarin for a paid promo on IG, after those 9 years he finally proposed with a tiny ass ring (and he far from broke) and by the beach with no effort at all, barely even gave a speech and thats because he doesn't love her he just knows she'll never leave and he can always get what he wants from her, if a guy truly loves you he wouldn't be waited decades to wife you!
If I was Ashanti, I’d give him til New Year’s Day. If he doesn’t propose, it’s curtains.
Then who will pay hey gold digging bills
I had her Braveheart album, I thought she’d never take him back, sounded like she went through a lot listening to that album. 😢
It's sad that this many years later as a 40+ woman, Ashanti sees no other options than to allow a man like Nelly to waste 10 more years of her time. He didn't marry the other women either.
I don't agree with the relationship between Nelly and Ashanti either. He is an ex for a reason.
I think Ashanti tried dating other people, but they didn't measure up or it didn't go anywhere. She's comfortable with him and that's where her heart is. It might seem crazy to everyone else, but that's who she wants so she's going to try to make it happen. Is it a fools errand, highly likely, but she'll figure that out on her own. i hope they go all the wzy. Hope is a wonderful and terrible thing at the same time
THIS!
It's the fact that Nelly went out of his way to win her back...just to play with her and waste more of her time for me...and I CRINGE everytime I read a comment of someone cheering this middle school/ high school...boyfriend/girlfriend..."we just made it official on Instagram" relationship on...when Nelly is knocking on 50 years old...
I’ve been waiting for this breakdown! Also SN: I need a full compilation video of all the times you’ve said “you can go argue with your gas station wig, liver” etc etc 😂😂😂😂
Dirty microwave😭👏🏼
Well said!
DO NOT BECOME HIS “NEED YOU” girl or fiancé for 7 years or his “MIGHT AS WELL” WIFE!😳
Ladies don’t play ya self!
If that man wants you he wants wether for a night, days, months, years or a lifetime as his wife.
Don’t play with him!
Leave as soon as you know he’s wasting time or he’s not your forever.
Date with intentions & ask the questions to the point and if he runs away WELL THERE YOU HAVE IT!🤷🏽♀️
Men have standards & requirements…THEY DONT BACK DOWN OFF THEM
UNLESS
ITS WITH THE WOMAN THEY ACTUAL DO LOVE!
They will do whatever for her even if it means he loosing himself or he dealing with nonsense.
Men have to love you more than you love him in order for him to actual love you.
She wasting her time!!! Why don’t she see that? He ain’t all that anyway! She got low self esteem. It’s sad!
Nelly has children almost in their 30's. Doubt if he's looking to be a new father again.
If you want to be with a man for over two presidential terms without his investment, then have at it. For further Feminine Growth Join The New Feminine: www.patreon.com/thenewfeminine 💄
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😭💀
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😭😂
I’m crying 😂
Im 30, no kids yet. It took him 15 months from the day he asked me to be his girlfriend. Proposed on trip #4 he took me on 💍
Set your boundaries , mine was 16months, but i never told him that.
It’s sad because she is pretty, now that I am adult I have realised the happy ending isn’t gifted to everyone. Most women have to work hard for it by working on themselves like Ciara
If nelly don't propose to ashanti in 2024 I pray she let's him go.
Girl by the end of 2023.... isn't she in her late thirties early 40s 6 months is the max she should give that gentleman
She knocked up girlies 😂😂😂😂
I love all 9 tips. I definitely need to purchase the book by Patricia Allen getting to I do.
Am I the only one who doesn’t find Nelly attractive?
Yes lol
I can see it in his face that he's trifling, especially about Ashanti. He means her not one bit of good, just wanted to see if she's still weak for him. She played right into his hand
She should have never went back.
Agreed. I’d say two years max if you’re over 25 and both parties are financially sound.
In Ashanti’s case though, once they got back together, she should only give him up to one year since they were together before. She needs to leave forever after that. Although I wouldn’t have given him 10 years the first go around 👀🧐waaaaay too long
I'm so glad that this came across my UA-cam feed. I have been married in my early twenties and divorced almost ten years later. It took some growing up/maturing and healing from my past to recognize my worth. I'm now at a place in my life where I'm open to the possibility of marriage.
The situation with Ashanti and Nelly is very nuanced though. Ashanti was very involved with Irv Gotta through the duration of their relationship and Nelly wanted to go public but Ashanti did not. Ashanti has had relationships through the years and been very private about it, I've also never heard her say anything about wanting marriage or children. What if these are two people that are ok with long term commitment and not wanting marriage? Overall people have to follow their own path and NOT that of celebrities, we don't know the fullness of what their life is like or mindset.
Getting to I do IS REQUIRED READING! Feminine book club gives the gems of knowledge.
💯
Just by looking at the picture of this video in my feeds I said, “Uuuuuuuh” and knew this is going to be good.
Chloe is always on time to teach, and the comments add to it.
Nelly didn’t even officially claim her the first time around. We didn’t know they were together really until they broke up.
But he said it was because Ashanti did not want to go public . He wanted her to appear in his video “ all in my head” but Irv shut that done
I am bracing myself for her! He gave her every gift but a ring on her B DAY!
Ashanti don't be FOOLISH!
Ashanti shouldn’t have gotten back with him, they have been together too many years and still no ring, next! She deserves a true commitment.
What was the point of him spinning the block if he doesn’t intend on marrying her 🤔 Geeesh these men will really waste your time if you allow them
I love Ashanti and I’m wishing her the best. Praying for protection and covering for her and praying she ends up with a wonderful man who truly deserves her.
Personally if a man doesn’t marry me the first time around when I’m young I wouldn’t be interested in marrying him if he comes back when he’s 50. Like what we gon do? Sit on the porch and enjoy retirement together??? no sir!😂
Not blaming it on the dog! 🤣 Chloe is a true comedian!
She TRULY is 😂
Unfortunately, I don't think they're going to work out this time either. I hate to say it, I'm an Ashanti fan but like you, I don't have a good feeling about this reunion.
Great commentary Chloe _ ❤🙌🏾
Calling Nelly a rapper is the funniest part of this video 😂😂😂
I hope he marries her if he knows that’s what she wants. If he knows and he still buys her jewelry instead of a wedding ring then she is being played. He is getting too old to be playing games.
Thanks for the book recommendation Chloe 💖 love your book club picks
I hate to type this statement, but Nelly will not marry Ashanti.
I'm a huge Nelly and Ashanti fan..... 90s baby here... but if she passes that 6 month mark this second go-round it's a no-go
@@kaycee5469I am a 70s baby. 😊 Nelly never smiles whenever he takes pictures with Ashanti. Ashanti is beautiful and graceful. I really hate that she settled for her ex.
@@Kabarile31 I'm a little worried for her ....your like the third or fourth person that has picked up on that ....like I said she should bounce if she doesn't have a ring by December 31st 2023..? as much as I hate to say it the older that I get ...I noticed that men even in my own age group do not want women in my age group... they want younger women to date..... and this isn't a slight against younger women ...it's just simply to make us women aware.... we have to be very protective of who we give our time in years to.....
I’m so happy you did this video Chloe because I thought I was going crazy!!! I was so disappointed hearing that they’re back together! She’s going to allow this man to waste her time again!! Smh! Nothing to celebrate!
I didn’t feel good about them reuniting because I go by the rule a ex is a ex for a reason
I needed you 20 years ago!
“You can go argue with your gas station wig” lmao I literally don’t even know how Chloe keeps a straight voice recording these with shade.
Wow Ashanti, just walk away…great video Chloe_ 👏
I just love you Chloe! Thank you for the wisdom. Thank you for being a blessing to us. Take your flowers ma'am 💐
I love you too.❤
You always speak facts
gas station wig took me out!!🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀
Been with my husband almost 17 years come Thanksgiving. He proposed 9 months after we started dating. Men always KNOW if they want to Wife you up. Don't let them string you along. ❤
They dated around the same time as Beyoncé and Jayz I was rooting for them as a couple and hoping they would get married I mean it took 6 years for Jayz and Beyoncé to get married I mean 20 years c’mon
I’m turning 29, and I feel hopeless… I’m not a baby momma. I did everything “right” but I’m still unwed.
My aunt had a baby at 48 I only think of it as a glimmer of hope for me, I'd love to turn a new page in life I'm not in my forties but I haven't found anyone since God hit me in the head and said you stop this lifestyle or else not literally but I got the message big time.
Appreciate this content!
Not the gas station wig😂😂😂😂
Thank you for your good analysis, as always ! ❤❤
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Mss Chloe you are a 💎 gem!! You always keep it 100. Your advice is cherished & highly valuable for the community. ThankYou
The dog on the laptop! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣
In my opinion, i feel Nelly only came back because he saw how good she looked without him. Ashanti Is a 10 and i noticed that he’s not on these vacations with her so i don’t think he’s funding them.
I have a close friend who’s in a 6 year relationship with a man who hasn’t proposed. She always brings up how when “they’re ready” they will get married but “they’ve already talked about it and will get married for sure.” I can’t help but think she’s wasting her time. The man has 4 kids that she’s playing step mom to, one of which he has full custody of so she’s essentially that boys mother, but he can’t marry you? I’d feel like he’s settling at this point but I stay out of it since she doesn’t ask my opinion. I also agree completely with your take on Nelly and Ashanti. Love her down but he has a history of doing long term relationships that don’t end in marriage. He did the same thing to another woman after her.
Nah that’s crazy 😢but love will really blind people
She should not marry a man with 4 kids! That’s crazy
Yup I Married UP‼️🙏🏾🥰
He already wasted so much of her time. I agree she should not have gone back without an official proposal with ring and wedding planning. 🤦♀️
I am so glad you mentioned Ashanti and Nelly I felt the same way when I saw them reconnecting. I just felt super uneasy about it like he's going to hurt her again.
Whew this was right on time! Thank you Chloe!
Chloe i love listening to you. Always good information