This was a total eye opener. I doubt my husband would entertain the idea of being on the autism spectrum but this video sounds like you are living in my home. Complete with my fibromyalgia and exhaustion from explaining the situation that is met with cluelessness and defensiveness. I just don’t know how to survive with such a person.
Yes!! I have to work so very hard to communicate with my husband. I have been completely stumped as to why he can't seem to put things into context. We are dealing with ADHD, emotional abuse and covert narcissism and I am exhausted!! He gets caught in the weeds and can't seem to see the big picture. And absolutely, the stress has taken a tremendous toll on my health. Thank you for shedding light on this topic. So many of us have been stumbling around in the dark in complete confusion because until now I couldn't make sense of it. Thank you thank you!!
As an ADHDer diagnosed treated and high EQ, I’ve been fortunate enough to realise that my friends with Asperger’s / asd, especially my guy friends with it- they really need to be spoken to literally, very detailed, and pragmatic. Neurodivergents aren’t across the board in need of such literal communication.
I have been saying this for years and years it’s a neurodivergent brain 🧠 . What a breath of fresh air to have this women on AIR. Please please please make more videos on this topic.
Most narcissists KNOW EXACTLY what they are doing WRONG!!! Thus, the sneakiness, the lying, the withholding of info… Please, do not make excuses for the narcissists!
@@arayategan9218I’m sorry you felt they were demonizing those on the spectrum. I didn’t get that at all from this video. They even said those on the spectrum can be empathetic whereas other people are not. She even said that her husband has ASD and he knows when she needs help
I am a high functioning autistic woman who is married to a narcissist. He could possibly be autistic but I’m not the narcissist one in the relationship. I think because of my autism I tend to want deep discussions and need details and truth. He goes crazy at questions and is verbally abusive and threatens me causing more insecurity which leads to more questions. I feel he finds it ok to punish me for the way I am. In this context you two are talking about the neurodivergent who is the problem. Why does it have to be the autistic or neurodivergent person who is the problem in a marriage while the other one has it all put together.? In my case we both have issues but I’m being abused.
You're not alone. I too am Autistic and have escaped abusive situations. I ask questions so that I can understand more deeply, because I care. Feel free to reach out to me, we can support each other's healing
@@chernagast6754 I guess that is one big characteristic in narcissistic people is they hate questions. I haven’t heard much on it. Does your husband get really mad if you ask questions that make him look guilty of hiding something though he is innocent or maybe hiding something.? I tell my husband just answer calmly and honestly and you won’t look so guilty. He says he hates me insinuating anything about his lack of faithfulness
Neurodivergence is à différence in how the brain is wired in the way it processes information and stimuli. Narcissism is à personnality desorder. Both can coexist within a person or not ! Some digging has to be done... but Just because somebody is blind on social clues doesnt make him à narcissist. Many NTs are egotistic and manipulative yet this is the norm so the way they act is accepted. What is to be understood are the patterns underneath and the problem is that most professionals are not capable of doing so yet prétend or think they are cos they got a degree and this is very problematic
I actually asked this question a while ago oh my gosh , i'm so glad that you are talking about this. I'm diagnosed and I can see narcissistic qualities in myself. But then I feel super guilty and I tell on myself and I try to work on it. But I got wrapped with a guy omg 10 years, he gutted my life and my resources. I had to escape over a year ago I was watching all of your videos and some more people. I was able to escape from somebody who I believe is both autistic AND the actual NPD. Somebody sent me a photo I wish they had not but he has now went to another country and purchased a wife. I am so worried for her but per therapy I am no contact so I cannot /will not. I want to be happy but I know exactly where they are in his love bombing face with her.. I know she has no idea what's about to happen.
Neurodivergents didn’t sign up to be / have to constantly adapt / try / be stigmatised / not accommodated - if there were more understanding about how to get the best from each other - Neurodivergents writ large, are trying to Constantly twist ourselves into the pretzel 🥨 demands of society, partners, friends…I’ve never met a neurodivergent who isn’t exhausting themselves for life trying to be better. I can’t extend the same observation to neurotypicals. Much like right handedness forces left handers to deal with the way the majority structures “life”. Also the inclusion of NPD here is troubling.
I totally agree ! Narcissim has nothing to do with neurodivergence yet somepeople can be both. But mixing them is a very dangerous and wrong path which shows a deep misunderstanding and lack of depth of analysis in the patterns of autism (the way the brain is wired) and npd which is a personnality desorder. They have nothing in common ! They are different by essence. Yet as i said some people exhibit different diagnosis which overlap and avoidant personnality is to be mentionned too for example.
The third dimension that needs to be included in this discussion are the men with Dismissive Avoidant (DA) attachment styles. There are a lot of ven diagram overlaps with DA, Narcissism and Autism.
I have a partially functional step son, totally dependent. My husband has so many adhd-high functioning autistic-& narcissist traits-he could be a test subject. Unfortunately-he doesn’t self evaluate. It’s been tough.
I think it is really funny how serious both of these supposed “clinicians” take themselves as they blather on with word salad. Can they try to find some other labels to put down men and create a false narrative that the woman is a victim without responsibility in the relationship? So is neurodivergence or autism like catching a cold and a man can get it 10, 20 or 30 years into a relationship? Chances are he is the same now as he was when she first met him, At least this “Dr.” is honest that probably since she isn’t a licensed psychologist the assessment that she charges $1,200 are for “personal” not medical use. Run from these people.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
This was a total eye opener. I doubt my husband would entertain the idea of being on the autism spectrum but this video sounds like you are living in my home. Complete with my fibromyalgia and exhaustion from explaining the situation that is met with cluelessness and defensiveness. I just don’t know how to survive with such a person.
Yes!! I have to work so very hard to communicate with my husband. I have been completely stumped as to why he can't seem to put things into context. We are dealing with ADHD, emotional abuse and covert narcissism and I am exhausted!! He gets caught in the weeds and can't seem to see the big picture. And absolutely, the stress has taken a tremendous toll on my health. Thank you for shedding light on this topic. So many of us have been stumbling around in the dark in complete confusion because until now I couldn't make sense of it. Thank you thank you!!
As an ADHDer diagnosed treated and high EQ, I’ve been fortunate enough to realise that my friends with Asperger’s / asd, especially my guy friends with it- they really need to be spoken to literally, very detailed, and pragmatic. Neurodivergents aren’t across the board in need of such literal communication.
I have been saying this for years and years it’s a neurodivergent brain 🧠 . What a breath of fresh air to have this women on AIR. Please please please make more videos on this topic.
Thank you soooo much for this. I hope you do more episodes on this topic.
Most narcissists KNOW EXACTLY what they are doing WRONG!!! Thus, the sneakiness, the lying, the withholding of info… Please, do not make excuses for the narcissists!
Exactly right. Narcissists know exactly what they’re doing, it’s about crushing you to make them in control.
Exactly! And don't demonize those of us on the spectrum who are trying our best to be good and supportive to our loved ones.
@@arayategan9218I’m sorry you felt they were demonizing those on the spectrum. I didn’t get that at all from this video. They even said those on the spectrum can be empathetic whereas other people are not. She even said that her husband has ASD and he knows when she needs help
I am a high functioning autistic woman who is married to a narcissist. He could possibly be autistic but I’m not the narcissist one in the relationship. I think because of my autism I tend to want deep discussions and need details and truth. He goes crazy at questions and is verbally abusive and threatens me causing more insecurity which leads to more questions. I feel he finds it ok to punish me for the way I am.
In this context you two are talking about the neurodivergent who is the problem. Why does it have to be the autistic or neurodivergent person who is the problem in a marriage while the other one has it all put together.? In my case we both have issues but I’m being abused.
You're not alone. I too am Autistic and have escaped abusive situations. I ask questions so that I can understand more deeply, because I care. Feel free to reach out to me, we can support each other's healing
@ Thank you 😊
Oh my. Are you married to my husband as well?
@@chernagast6754 I guess that is one big characteristic in narcissistic people is they hate questions. I haven’t heard much on it. Does your husband get really mad if you ask questions that make him look guilty of hiding something though he is innocent or maybe hiding something.? I tell my husband just answer calmly and honestly and you won’t look so guilty. He says he hates me insinuating anything about his lack of faithfulness
Neurodivergence is à différence in how the brain is wired in the way it processes information and stimuli. Narcissism is à personnality desorder. Both can coexist within a person or not ! Some digging has to be done... but Just because somebody is blind on social clues doesnt make him à narcissist. Many NTs are egotistic and manipulative yet this is the norm so the way they act is accepted. What is to be understood are the patterns underneath and the problem is that most professionals are not capable of doing so yet prétend or think they are cos they got a degree and this is very problematic
I actually asked this question a while ago oh my gosh , i'm so glad that you are talking about this. I'm diagnosed and I can see narcissistic qualities in myself. But then I feel super guilty and I tell on myself and I try to work on it.
But I got wrapped with a guy omg 10 years, he gutted my life and my resources. I had to escape over a year ago I was watching all of your videos and some more people.
I was able to escape from somebody who I believe is both autistic AND the actual NPD.
Somebody sent me a photo I wish they had not but he has now went to another country and purchased a wife.
I am so worried for her but per therapy I am no contact so I cannot /will not.
I want to be happy but I know exactly where they are in his love bombing face with her.. I know she has no idea what's about to happen.
Neurodivergents didn’t sign up to be / have to constantly adapt / try / be stigmatised / not accommodated - if there were more understanding about how to get the best from each other - Neurodivergents writ large, are trying to
Constantly twist ourselves into the pretzel 🥨 demands of society, partners, friends…I’ve never met a neurodivergent who isn’t exhausting themselves for life trying to be better. I can’t extend the same observation to neurotypicals. Much like right handedness forces left handers to deal with the way the majority structures “life”. Also the inclusion of NPD here is troubling.
I totally agree ! Narcissim has nothing to do with neurodivergence yet somepeople can be both. But mixing them is a very dangerous and wrong path which shows a deep misunderstanding and lack of depth of analysis in the patterns of autism (the way the brain is wired) and npd which is a personnality desorder. They have nothing in common ! They are different by essence. Yet as i said some people exhibit different diagnosis which overlap and avoidant personnality is to be mentionned too for example.
Thank you! I came here to say similarly. So many of us on the spectrum suffer emotional abuse our whole lives just for being different
The third dimension that needs to be included in this discussion are the men with Dismissive Avoidant (DA) attachment styles. There are a lot of ven diagram overlaps with DA, Narcissism and Autism.
Why is it gendered…attachment styles weren’t and aren’t haven’t been gendered - why bring something irrelevant in that is misandrist?
Awesome session
So Thankful for Dr Holmes.🙏🫶
Cool you got to touch on the main point: comorbid diagnosis
I agree with everything you have said🙏🙏🙏🤦🏻♀️😣
I have a partially functional step son, totally dependent. My husband has so many adhd-high functioning autistic-& narcissist traits-he could be a test subject. Unfortunately-he doesn’t self evaluate. It’s been tough.
I think it is really funny how serious both of these supposed “clinicians” take themselves as they blather on with word salad. Can they try to find some other labels to put down men and create a false narrative that the woman is a victim without responsibility in the relationship? So is neurodivergence or autism like catching a cold and a man can get it 10, 20 or 30 years into a relationship? Chances are he is the same now as he was when she first met him, At least this “Dr.” is honest that probably since she isn’t a licensed psychologist the assessment that she charges $1,200 are for “personal” not medical use. Run from these people.
Multiple sclerosis, C~Ptsd, etc.
You have to speak as though you’re talking to a toddler.