Even though I have little interest in the actual film, I knew I had to click on this review first thing and was not disappointed. The quote for the movie poster, "It takes stupid to a whole other level!"
Gerard Butler is like the male Kate Hudson, if he's in a live-action film, give it as wide a berth as possible (Almost Famous is the exception that proves the rule for Hudson, god knows what it is for Butler. Coriolanus, maybe).
+noticeddamian There's this line from Deadline: "Here’s the rub: When the movie opens in China on October 27 against Blade Runner 2049, rival foreign distrib chiefs expect Geostorm to win in a big way as it’s the type of movie more suited for the Middle Kingdom than sophisticated sci-fi epics." Blame China.
this perfectly describes my Olympus Has Fallen experience, which I'm pretty sure is the only thing I've ever seen Buttwad in. sounds like he's carving himself a lovely little niche
I really enjoyed this review. For Mr. Kermode, watching this movie was like being in a stupidity simulation. "More stupid than Angels & Demons". Brilliant!
3:14 Gawd that was the first thing I thought of leaving the theater. Lmao. They basically went through all that just to call Geeksquad up to space and have them turn the computer (satelites) off and back on like magic. Then poor Ed Harris...NO ONE knew he was the good guy. He rarely plays the good guy.
Sounds like a movie that me and Mr J. Daniels will be watching at 3am in about a year’s time on Sky movies, complete with full loud drunk critical commentary, just like when I watch 2012.
Fun fact :This movie was supposed to be released in March 2016 but Warner Brother delayed it because of Batman vs Superman and the movie was moved around 2 to 3 times
Wasn’t “weaponised weather” the plan the bad guy had in the Avengers (film of the British TV show, not the superheroes), back in 1998? I’m pretty sure it was. And Sean Connery played the bad guy, who was called: Sir August de Wynter. I only remember that name, because, at the time, I thought it was one of the stupidest names for a character, that I’d ever heard, and I actually laughed out loud in the cinema, when he was introduced. A mad scientist, who has built a machine to control the weather, and they decided to call him; August de Wynter... ...a little on the nose, for my liking, but then, The Avengers was supposed to be a pastiche of old 60’s spy shows; where characters would have odd names like that, so it might not have been a problem, had the film not been utter arse-gravy. Sounds like Geostorm is also arse-gravy: though, if you’re willing to sacrifice intelligence points, it might be a fun watch. It does have “cult film” written all over it. Through I wish Gerard Butler would stop trying to do different accents: he just simply can’t do other accents, and, when he tries, he sounds stupid. Just make every character he plays Scottish. After all; he played a bloody Spartan with a Scottish accent, so I don’t think it matters that much... ...well; so long as no one casts him to play another historical figure, like Napoleon, John F. Kennedy, or...Hitler. He just about got away, with making Leonidas Scottish, but I don’t think the world is ready for a Scottish Hitler haha.
I want to see this movie. Moreover, I am excited about seeing this movie. And in a way I've never experienced before. I want to see what may be the dumbest movie of all time before it secures that title. It's like being able to say you saw Nirvana when they were an opening act. It's one thing to watch a Rifftrax of Plan 9 from Outer Space, or going to a midnight screening of The Room where you can't hear the movie because everyone is screaming the famous lines at the screen. But here's what may be an opportunity to see a bad movie (and I haven't thought of a better term for it yet other than) pre-ironically. How can you sit idly and let that opportunity pass you by?
I've not seen it yet (and probably never will) but supposedly Geostorm got reworked after the first trailer (and test screenings) didn't get received very well because it took itself too seriously...so they actually went out of their way to make it more stupid.
I was sitting watching 'Geostorm' wondering what the filmmakers were thinking of, when after about an hour it suddenly dawned on me. They have made a film so stupid that climate change deniers will be able to understand that man-made global warming is a bad thing. They have effectively made a documentary for Donald Trump and his followers. Brilliant. Sadly, for the mentally-balanced part of humanity this film is awful. 1/5
poor old Mr Butler I saw him in Coriolanus he played Tullus he was very very good but I think most of the films he takes are just work just pay days and he is going through the motions
The worst and most disturbing part about this is that it will probably do far better than Blade Runner 2049. The reason being that you don't have to pay attention or do any thinking whilst watching this movie. Our society really is become more like the film Idiocracy every year. God help us.
Very accurate review, especially when he compared it with "White house down". Not only because of the similar plot, but because both films had a really annoying daughter-of-the-protagonist character that doesn't add anything to the plot other than being a whiny little s**t.
Looking like this will tank in the US with estimates being around $10m for its opening weekend which when you consider it cost at least $120m to make is laughably bad. Wonder if this is as stupid as Gods of Egypt?
"the dumber I got the more I enjoyed it" That should go on the DVD
Kermode hasn't lost his touch.
in the trailer for this movie one of the characters says, out loud, "it's a geostorm!"
that tells you all you need to know about this movie.
"More stupid than Angels and Demons" mark your calendars people!!! that needs to go on the poster
UA-cam had this video follow Kermode's Angles and Dumbos review.
"You get the car, I'll get the president"... I think I want to see it just for that line hahaha
Coming soon to GCSE Geography classes, Christmas 2025.
😂 Maybe it’ll replace the day after tommorow
Most real thing ever written?
Even though I have little interest in the actual film, I knew I had to click on this review first thing and was not disappointed. The quote for the movie poster, "It takes stupid to a whole other level!"
Sounds like a Syfy channel movie with a bigger budget.
"It takes stupid to a whole new level" one for the posters.
That was one of the funniest reviews I've seen
Gerard Butler is like the male Kate Hudson, if he's in a live-action film, give it as wide a berth as possible (Almost Famous is the exception that proves the rule for Hudson, god knows what it is for Butler. Coriolanus, maybe).
300 was fun for what it was
Charlie Panayiotou 300 was pretty enjoyable too.
3:36 ... Well, I have some interesting news for you Mark...
Love your channel Ryan!
LOL I was just thinking that!
I don't remember a tornado in the movie actually
He already knows about Sharknado, if that's what your talking about.
Not only does he know about Sharknado, he's actively referring to it here.
"...oh look there's someone in a camel..."
It sounds like Kermode had good fun with this.
"The dumber I got the more I started to enjoy it!" -hahaha
The day after tomorrow again
...but this time with...SHUTUP BUTTWAD!
They could call it "The Day After The Day After Tomorrow...Or How About Two Weeks Tuesday?"
The sad thing is,this might make more money than blade runner 2049.Gerald buttwipe is the new Steven seagal.
+noticeddamian There's this line from Deadline: "Here’s the rub: When the movie opens in China on October 27 against Blade Runner 2049, rival foreign distrib chiefs expect Geostorm to win in a big way as it’s the type of movie more suited for the Middle Kingdom than sophisticated sci-fi epics."
Blame China.
noticeddamian word smh!!!
lol, ouch.
this perfectly describes my Olympus Has Fallen experience, which I'm pretty sure is the only thing I've ever seen Buttwad in. sounds like he's carving himself a lovely little niche
I never laughed so much at a review. Thanks Mark.
Hahahaha 🦈 sharknado.
I really enjoyed this review. For Mr. Kermode, watching this movie was like being in a stupidity simulation.
"More stupid than Angels & Demons".
Brilliant!
Classic Kermode....this must be one of your top 5 reviews of the year!!
Just brilliant.....thankyou for making my beardy, specky gob laugh and laugh!!
Been waiting for this review. It did not disappoint.
3:14 Gawd that was the first thing I thought of leaving the theater. Lmao. They basically went through all that just to call Geeksquad up to space and have them turn the computer (satelites) off and back on like magic. Then poor Ed Harris...NO ONE knew he was the good guy. He rarely plays the good guy.
Sounds like a movie that me and Mr J. Daniels will be watching at 3am in about a year’s time on Sky movies, complete with full loud drunk critical commentary, just like when I watch 2012.
Best. Review. Ever!
They stole the plot from The Avengers (1998)... I mean...
Ghostdialoog you are correct
only film I ever walked out of the cinema for
Oh please say that means it has Uma Thurman in a catsuit.
They stole the poster from Inception
That movie was rubbish too. Maybe it and Geostorm take place in the same universe?
Bloody hell, I can't wait to watch this now!
haha! I love the fact that he enjoyed it.
Fun fact :This movie was supposed to be released in March 2016 but Warner Brother delayed it because of Batman vs Superman and the movie was moved around 2 to 3 times
I think this is a brilliant movie seen it so many times on dvd.
So simply put..leave your brain in the foyer and collect on the way out.
As someone who guffawed uncontrollably through the two "... Is Fallen" movies, this sounds like a winner.
and then he watched 'MOONFALL'!!!
Wasn’t “weaponised weather” the plan the bad guy had in the Avengers (film of the British TV show, not the superheroes), back in 1998?
I’m pretty sure it was.
And Sean Connery played the bad guy, who was called: Sir August de Wynter.
I only remember that name, because, at the time, I thought it was one of the stupidest names for a character, that I’d ever heard, and I actually laughed out loud in the cinema, when he was introduced.
A mad scientist, who has built a machine to control the weather, and they decided to call him; August de Wynter...
...a little on the nose, for my liking, but then, The Avengers was supposed to be a pastiche of old 60’s spy shows; where characters would have odd names like that, so it might not have been a problem, had the film not been utter arse-gravy.
Sounds like Geostorm is also arse-gravy: though, if you’re willing to sacrifice intelligence points, it might be a fun watch.
It does have “cult film” written all over it.
Through I wish Gerard Butler would stop trying to do different accents: he just simply can’t do other accents, and, when he tries, he sounds stupid.
Just make every character he plays Scottish. After all; he played a bloody Spartan with a Scottish accent, so I don’t think it matters that much...
...well; so long as no one casts him to play another historical figure, like Napoleon, John F. Kennedy, or...Hitler.
He just about got away, with making Leonidas Scottish, but I don’t think the world is ready for a Scottish Hitler haha.
'It takes stupid to a whole new level"- Mark Kermode. That should be the movie poster tagline.
Mark's rants are always entertaining
I wish this movie was actually about a boy from the Netheralnds messing with the weather and Gerard is somehow responsible for him
I saw this thumbnail and knew it would be hilarious
Well this sounds like the greatest movie ever made.
This is your best review, and I agree with every word
Roland Emmerich wasn’t involved by any chance was he? Because this sounds like the arch-Emmerich film to me.
I've enjoyed this review far more than the film.
I want to see this movie. Moreover, I am excited about seeing this movie. And in a way I've never experienced before. I want to see what may be the dumbest movie of all time before it secures that title. It's like being able to say you saw Nirvana when they were an opening act. It's one thing to watch a Rifftrax of Plan 9 from Outer Space, or going to a midnight screening of The Room where you can't hear the movie because everyone is screaming the famous lines at the screen. But here's what may be an opportunity to see a bad movie (and I haven't thought of a better term for it yet other than) pre-ironically. How can you sit idly and let that opportunity pass you by?
But.....what kinda film is it?
"Oh look...there is somebody in a camel" did I hear that right?
It sounds and looks like a Command & Conquer cutscene
So along with The Snowman, this is a real Oscar Sweeper 2017
Anyone else watching this now on ch5?
Had to come back here after the moonfall review
Well he obviously hasn't watched "The Core", because that film is about drilling into the Earth to get the world spinning again....
Still the best review ever...!
What's that on the side of Simon's face?
At first glance of the trailer I thought it was a Roland Emmerich movie. I wonder why...
jesus he's on fire this week
I sense a US blockbuster. 🙄🙄
Do yourself a favor and go watch Blade Runner 2049.
The little girl who played GB's daughter was too talented for this garbage, sums up how I feel about this movie.
With this and the My Little Pony review, it's been a vintage Kermode review week.
Roland... Roland, is that you?
You know a movie is going to be a stinker when it is advertised as "movie from producer of..."
Great review Mark!
It sounds like it's everything i hoped it would be
Might have to give this a watch
I've not seen it yet (and probably never will) but supposedly Geostorm got reworked after the first trailer (and test screenings) didn't get received very well because it took itself too seriously...so they actually went out of their way to make it more stupid.
I heard that the bulk of this film was shot in 2014..
Why the hell were they sitting on it for so long?
Jim Sturgess doing his beat Christian Bale impression.
Why didn't Oppenheimer react the same way when they turned his life's work into a gun? Now there's a movie!
I was sitting watching 'Geostorm' wondering what the filmmakers were thinking of, when after about an hour it suddenly dawned on me. They have made a film so stupid that climate change deniers will be able to understand that man-made global warming is a bad thing. They have effectively made a documentary for Donald Trump and his followers. Brilliant. Sadly, for the mentally-balanced part of humanity this film is awful. 1/5
Well, you just generalised around 40ish percent of the US population, good on you sir
Andy G to be honest I think it’s more aimed at the intellectual level of you and your SJW mates.
Sounds awful ..... therefore it'll likely make a huge profit.
Unlikely, it cost over $100 million and is tanking in the US, so it'll have to be huge in China or something to make any money
Well that's my theory blown out of the floodwater.
I sincerely hope it tanks.
"Sounds awful ..... therefore it'll likely make a huge profit"
But...WHY would you think that?
Second highest grossing film across USA cinemas in during opening week.
The stupid continues to be very real.
4:31... poor Kermode... hope he gets better to review the next movie
You get the car, I'll get the president.
Its got the exact same plot as Roland Emmerich's student film 'The Noah's Ark Principle'
Spot on
poor old Mr Butler I saw him in Coriolanus he played Tullus he was very very good but I think most of the films he takes are just work just pay days and he is going through the motions
"Oh look, there's somebody in a turban! Oh look, there's someone in a bikini! Oh dear, they've all caught fire!"
The way I consume most movies now is: observe had bad they look from the trailer; let Kermode confirm it; don't watch them.
It is the kind of film where the president of the USA is Andy Garcia aka Palma and it is great !
The worst and most disturbing part about this is that it will probably do far better than Blade Runner 2049. The reason being that you don't have to pay attention or do any thinking whilst watching this movie. Our society really is become more like the film Idiocracy every year. God help us.
"It's more stupid than Angels & Demons 😂😂
So this is basically Sharknado in Space?
I honestly was surprised that this Devlin movie wasn't even Produced by Emmerich ! Would've been a little too much on the nose..!
I saw this last night, and it looked to me that throughout the duration of the film, Gerard Butler lost weight. Did anyone else notice this?
I have to see this now
sounds entertaining and sometimes that's all I want from a movie
I don’t know which Kermode nickname is funnier: “Shutup Butwad”, “Sneezy LaPoof”, Snoreloondo Bland” or “DANNY DYYYER!”. Lol
Zacksnyder! Zacksnyder!
That's why Mark you weren't invited ,i really want to watch this film now that Mark didn't like it.
Looks Askance At Authority would be my name in a remake of Dances With Wolves.
"Stupid just got smarter, it's our job to bring it down a level or 2"
If Mark laughs five times isn't it a comedy?
Very accurate review, especially when he compared it with "White house down". Not only because of the similar plot, but because both films had a really annoying daughter-of-the-protagonist character that doesn't add anything to the plot other than being a whiny little s**t.
Best review ever
Mayo???
a positive review from Kermodeatron then
Kermode seems particularly hyper! This review made my day.
Haven't heard a Kermode rant in a while.
What was that character name at 0:22 again? Sounded like "Shut up Buttwad".
This film made me and my sister *so* stupid that, when one of the characters delivered the title drop, we squeed a bit.
Sold
I have seen it and I was thinking of sharknado myself . hahahaha.
it is a very very enjoyable movie
for 5 year olds
What does it say about me that I love this kind of movie.
Even if it’s utter garbage.
Gerald Butler is the new Dennis Quaid.
Looking like this will tank in the US with estimates being around $10m for its opening weekend which when you consider it cost at least $120m to make is laughably bad. Wonder if this is as stupid as Gods of Egypt?